Original subtitles

- Eastman Kodak Company is happy to bring you

America's favorite family, the Nelsons:

Ozzie, Harriet, David, and Ricky.

They like to go places, enjoy happy times together.

And like most of us, they enjoy these moments over

again in pictures.

Often, they send snapshots to their friends.

That's an idea you can follow.

With every letter you write, why not

send along two or three recent pictures?

What better way to keep your family close together

even when you're miles apart?

They're the next best thing to a personal visit.

To keep your family news up-to-date,

why not take some pictures this weekend?

Make a note right now to pick up a roll or two

of dependable Kodak film, the film in the familiar yellow

box.

And now, Kodak invites you to enjoy "The Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet."

- Boy, it feels good to get in the house.

- You're not kidding.

It's sure getting cold out.

- Hi, Mom, Pop. - Oh, hi, Rick.

- Hello, dear. - How was the play?

- Wonderful.

- Terrible.

- I guess I shouldn't have asked.

There's some hot chocolate out in the kitchen.

- Oh, good. That's just what I need.

- Me, too.

Hope I can get to sleep tonight.

For some reason, I'm not sleepy at all.

- For some reason?

For a darn good reason.

You slept all through the last act.

- That was in self-defense.

It was the worst play I ever saw in my life.

- I liked it.

- Well, I didn't.

I don't like a play unless I can believe it.

And I thought that was completely unbelievable.

- In what way?

- Well, for one thing, how can a woman just

disappear in her own house?

Harriet?

Harriet, where are you?

- I just disappeared into my own dining room.

- Oh.

[chuckles]

- I don't think you should be too critical, anyway.

After all, it's just an amateur group.

- Well, I think the acting was fine.

It's the story I'm talking about.

is one series of coincidences after another.

I like things you can believe.

- Well, so do I, but I thought this one was true to life.

- Well, they had live people walking around the stage,

if that's what you mean.

- No, no, wait a minute.

I'm not even sure about that.

The guy who played the butler looked like a cadaver,

if ever I saw one.

- Oh, Mrs. Brewster told me about that.

The man got there late, and they didn't have time

to put any makeup on him.

The trouble with you is you're too critical.

- Well, gee, if they're going to put on a play,

they ought to put on a good one.

This was one coincidence after another.

All three of these guys just happen to be named George.

They all ordered chicken sandwiches.

And each one of the waitresses happened to be named Helen.

- Well, if that wasn't true, there

wouldn't have been any story.

- Well, that's just what I'm talking about.

It's too much of a coincidence.

- Do I smell hot chocolate?

- Oh, hiya, Dave. - You sure do.

Do you want some?

- Yeah, it's cold outside.

I was hoping somebody would make some hot chocolate.

- Well, now there's a coincidence.

- [chuckles] Some coincidence.

- What's this?

- Oh, it's just a wind-up of a little discussion your mother

and I have been having.

- How was the play?

- Well, there seems to be a slight difference of opinion

on that, Dave.

- In that case, I'll withdraw the question.

- Do you have a date tonight?

- No, I just went over to Don's house.

I have a date tomorrow night, though.

And guess what the girl's name is?

- What?

- Harriet.

- There, how's that for a coincidence?

- [chuckles] Are you kidding, Harriet?

I wonder how many thousands of girls

there are in the United States named Harriet.

- Well, I think it's a coincidence.

Where are you taking here, Dave?

- Well, don't laugh now.

To a piano recital.

- Wow.

- Well, that sounds very nice.

- Actually, I'm combining business with pleasure.

It's for extra credit for my music appreciation course.

Thanks a lot, Mom. - Want some more?

- No, I'm going to go up to bed. Good night.

- Night, dear. - Good night, Pop.

- Good night, Pop.

- Pretty classy, huh?

Music recital.

- Hey, there's another coincidence.

You took me to a piano recital on our first date.

- Piano recital?

Oh, I know what you're talking--

No, Harriet, that wasn't a real piano recital.

That was just a little church affair.

Professor Hubbenreiser's pupils showing their parents

and friends what they'd learned during the past year.

Don't you remember my little cousin gave

his rendition of "The Storm"?

And that wasn't our first date, anyway.

That was about our third date.

- Well, it's not very important, but it was our first date.

- No, no, no, it was our third date.

- You may be right at that.

I guess it was our third date.

- You know, I think I will have some more

of that hot chocolate, if you don't mind.

- OK, dear, I'll get you a clean cup.

- Isn't that kind of a dirty trick, Dave?

Taking a girl to a piano recital on your first date?

- Well, this isn't our first day, Pop.

Let's see, we went to the movies...

This is our third date.

- Now there's a coincidence.

[music playing]

- Ozzie, wake up.

- What time is it?

- It's time to get up.

Guess what?

Where do you suppose they went on their second date?

- What are you talking about?

- David and Harriet, his new girl.

Where do you think they went on their second date?

- Well, I don't know.

What about it?

- They went to an amusement park.

- Well, good for them.

- Well, we went to an amusement park on our second date, too.

Don't you see what a coincidence this is?

- And you mean you woke me up to tell me that?

- Well, no, not entirely.

Breakfast is ready.

But I do think it's an interesting coincidence.

- Oh, Harriet, there must be thousands

of girls named Harriet who went to an amusement

park on their second date and to a piano recital

on their third date.

- Well, I don't know.

It sounds to me like history repeating itself.

- Gosh, David, it's just a big waste of money.

- OK, it's my money.

- Hiya, Pop.

- Rick, what's the big beef?

- Well, David's only known this girl a couple of weeks,

and he's going to go out and buy her a big bottle of perfume

for her birthday.

- Let him do what he wants.

- Well, yeah, sure, it's his money and his girl.

- I just thought I'd give him the benefit

of my experience, that's all.

- Hey, wait a second.

I just remembered something.

Your chain of coincidences is broken

because I remember on your birthday,

I bought you a big box of candy.

I remember it very well because I got sick eating the candy.

- Well, you can't expect every little thing to be the same.

- Is breakfast almost ready, Mom?

I'm starved.

- Oh, just a couple of minutes, Dave.

- Uh, Dave, uh, what's this about your buying

your new girl a big bottle of perfume for her birthday?

- Well, I was, but I think Ricky's right.

I'll just get her a box of candy instead.

- Oh, well--

- Did you say something, dear?

- No.

[music playing]

Hi, Doc.

- Well, Oz.

- This is a coincidence.

- A coincidence?

- Yeah, it's amazing.

I was downtown, and all of a sudden I

happened to find myself in the medical building.

So I walked down the hallway, turned to the left,

then I happened to walk in the office

two doors down on the right, and I find you here.

- Well, how about that?

And my office has only been here for 14 years.

- [chuckles] But you must admit, you're usually not here

on Saturday afternoon.

- Yeah, you were lucky to find me.

A lot of people would have noticed

that the blinds were drawn in the outer office

and that my nurse wasn't here and figured the doctor was out,

or that he was in here trying to catch up on some work.

- Oh, no, you can't get rid of me that easily.

- I thought I'd try anyway.

What's on your mind, Oz?

- Oh, nothing important.

Go right ahead with whatever it is you're doing there, Doc.

- OK.

- [humming]

- Please, Oz.

That's my wife.

- Oh!

[chuckles] I'm sorry, Doc.

Go ahead.

Don't let me bother you.

I'll just kind of browse around here a little.

Hey, Doc, here's an idea that's liable to revolutionize

the entire medical profession.

Self-service.

- Self-service?

- Yeah.

See, a patient just comes in here

and gets one of these little carts,

walks along, picks up a couple of swab sticks,

and, uh, tongue depressors, moves down the aisle,

spies some pills that happen to strike his fancy, takes those.

- Say, why don't you take my diploma while you're at it?

- [chuckles] Well, that's not necessary.

Then he moves over here to the bookshelf.

- What are you looking for, Oz?

- I thought if I could find a psychology book,

there might be something in it on coincidences.

- OK, Oz, tell me your story.

- Oh, would you really like to hear it?

- Do I have a choice?

- Uh, no.

- OK, go ahead.

- Well, to make a long story short--

- Yes, please do.

- See, David has been going out with a girl named Harriet.

- So what?

You married a girl named Harriet, and got the best

of the bargain, I might add.

- OK.

Now listen to this.

The first gift I bought Harriet was a box of candy;

the same with David.

The second date I took Harriet on,

we went to an amusement park; the same with David.

The third date, he's taking her to a piano recital,

and that's where I took Harriet on our third date.

- So what?

That's sort of a normal pattern.

- No, no, no, no, now wait a minute.

On my next date with Harriet, she came over to our house

for dinner, but she had to break the date after that

to go out of town, so I dated this good-looking friend

of hers.

- This is getting real interesting.

Should I close the door?

- No, no, no, listen.

The thing is, I never told Harriet about the other date.

I just didn't think it was necessary.

- I'd better close the door.

- Will you sit still and let me tell you this?

Now, if this pattern of coincidences continues,

David will invite his girl over to our house for dinner,

then she'll be called out of town

and have to break their next date.

And if it continues in the same pattern,

he'll take out another girl, and then Harriet

will automatically assume that that's just what I did.

She'll be right, of course, and I'll

have a lot of explaining to do.

- Say, this is pretty interesting

in a ridiculous sort of way.

- What do you think I ought to do?

And I'm asking you not as a doctor, but as a friend.

What are you doing?

- Getting some candy.

You mentioned candy, it made me hungry.

Want some?

- No, thanks.

Come on, what do you think I ought to do?

- Well.

I don't know.

- It just wouldn't make any sense for Harriet

to find out about the other girl after all these years.

See, she figures I never went out with anybody else

after I met her.

- Why did you?

- Well, it was really her fault. We had a date,

but she broke it because she had to go out of town to visit

an old friend, a friend of the family's.

- Well, if you want my opinion, this string of coincidences

has just about run itself out.

It would be too much of a coincidence

to expect it to go any further.

- That's exactly what I figure.

- You don't have a thing to worry about.

- Well, thanks, Doc.

I just wanted you to corroborate my thinking.

- Unless, of course, David invites the girl over

to your house for dinner.

[music playing]

- Well, I'm on my way.

Don't get sick eating the candy.

- Who told you?

- What?

- Uh, oh.

Nothing.

- You look very nice, Dave.

- Oh, thanks, Mom.

- You're positively irresistible.

- What's that mean?

- It means you're wearing too much aftershave lotion.

- Don't you believe him, Dave.

You smell real nice.

You look very sharp, too.

- Oh, thanks, Pop.

I'm going out with a sharp-looking girl.

- Hey, you must be getting serious.

This is three dates in a row, isn't it?

- Four.

I've got a date with her tomorrow night, too.

- Oh, uh, where are you going tomorrow night, Dave?

- To dinner.

- You mean out to dinner, don't you?

- Yeah, I thought I'd take her to a restaurant.

- Yeah, that's a good idea.

It's a lot better than bringing her over here to dinner.

- I don't see why.

- What I meant was it wouldn't be

any fun for her to have dinner with us old folks.

- Who's old?

- Yeah, who's old?

- I didn't mean old in that way.

I meant-- Well, have a good time, Dave.

- Look, Dave, if you want to bring her over here for dinner,

you know you can.

In fact, I'd like to meet her.

- Harriet, I told you, the girl doesn't

want to come over here and have dinner with us old folks.

- Who's old?

- Yeah, who's old?

- Oh, gee, aren't you late, Dave?

- No.

As a matter of fact, I'm a little early, Pop.

- Oh, I mean, you don't want to miss the bus.

- Oh, I'm driving my car.

- Well, have a good time.

We'll see you later.

- Hey, why don't you bring her over here to dinner, Dave?

I'd kind of like to get a look at her, too.

- Rick, I thought you were watching television.

- Oh, yeah.

- You know, I've been thinking, I

had to ask you for a little money

so I could take Harriet out tonight.

And if I take her out tomorrow night, I'll

have to float another loan.

- Oh, that's OK, son.

Your credit's good with me.

How much do you need?

- I'll take a five.

- No, Rick, I was talking to Dave.

- I was thinking of taking your suggestion.

- My suggestion?

- Yeah, and bring her over here for dinner tomorrow night.

- With the old folks.

- Besides, I'd like to have you meet her.

- Well, that'll be fine, dear. - Oh, swell.

I'll see you later then. Good night.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Oh.

- It sounded to me like you didn't want Dave's girl

to come over here for dinner.

- Well, no, it wasn't that.

It's just that I didn't think she'd enjoy having dinner with,

uh...

- If you say "old folks" again, I'll crown you.

- No, it wasn't that.

- I remember how I looked forward

to having dinner at your house.

Wait a second.

If I remember correctly, I had dinner

at your house our fourth date.

- You did?

- Yeah.

- Oh.

Isn't that a coincidence?

[music playing]

- You sure are a good cook, Mrs. Nelson.

This was a wonderful dinner.

- Well, thank you, Harriet.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

- Oh, may I have the cream, please, Harriet?

- I don't have it, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, I meant Mrs. Nelson Harriet.

- Here you are, dear.

It's a little confusing having two Harriets.

- Yes, isn't it a coincidence that my name

should be the same as yours?

It's the first time I've liked my own name.

- Well, thank you.

Has David told you about all the other coincidences?

- No, he hasn't.

- Oh, well, I'm sure Harriet wouldn't

be interested in that, Harriet.

- Oh, sure I would.

I'd love to hear about it, Mr. Nelson.

- Well, it's the strangest thing.

- Ricky.

- Well, Harriet said "Mr. Nelson."

- I think she meant your father.

- What's this about the coincidences,

Mr Nelson, senior?

- It's just that it seems everything you and Dave are

doing runs parallel to things Mrs. Nelson

and I did when we first met.

- Well, isn't that interesting?

- It's really been amazing.

I think I'll clear these dishes off the table.

- I'll help you, Mrs. Nelson. - Oh, no, no, please don't.

- Oh, sure, I do them all alone at home.

- In that case, why don't we gentlemen

retire to the library for cigars and Brandy?

- [chuckles]

- I think you'd better retire to your room

and get some of that homework done before it catches up

with you over the weekend.

- That's the story of my life.

Well, it's been charming, Mr Nelsons and Harriets.

- Thank you.

- She's a very nice girl, Dave.

- Oh, thanks, Pop.

I think she is.

- Uh, do you have a date with her over the weekend?

- Well, I did have.

- Oh?

What do you mean you did have?

- Well, she had to break it.

- Oh, gee, that's a shame.

Why did she have to break it?

Did she give any reason?

- She has to go out of town, something about an old friend

of the family's.

- This is uncanny.

- Gee, Pop, don't get so upset.

It isn't that serious.

I practically just met the girl.

- Well, no-- uh, what are you going to do while she's out

of town?

- Oh, I thought I'd just stay home and study.

I have a lot of homework I can finish.

- That's a good idea, Dave.

You do that.

Stay home and study, see, and then there's no chance--

I mean, uh, that's a good idea, Dave.

You stay home and study, son.

[music playing]

- Hello, dear.

- Oh, hi.

- Where you've been?

- Oh, I just went downtown for a little while.

- I'm afraid I'm running a little bit behind schedule.

I've spent the last hour talking to Clara on the telephone.

- Oh.

Did she have anything important to say?

- No, I'm afraid I did most of the talking.

I was telling her about the string of coincidences.

- Oh, Harriet, what did you have to tell her about that for?

- Well, you've got to admit, it's pretty interesting.

In fact, it's almost uncanny.

- What's so uncanny about it?

Just because David's going out with a girl named Harriet,

and they happened to go to an amusement park,

and then to a piano recital, the same as we did.

- Go on.

- Well, OK, then he brought her over here to dinner.

- Just like you did.

- Well, what's so remarkable about that?

- Well, you left something out.

- Oh, uh, you mean about her breaking the date with him

the same as you did with me?

- No, I meant about giving her the candy.

What's this about breaking a date?

- Oh, I thought you knew about that.

- Well, no, but I should have guessed.

Ozzie, this is getting positively scary.

Don't you remember?

I had to break our date because I had to go out of town

and meet an old friend of the family,

and you got kind of mad.

- I didn't get mad.

- Oh, but you do remember?

- Well, just vaguely.

For goodness sakes, dear, you're making so much out of this.

- How can I make so much out of it?

It's fantastic.

I'll bet you I know what David's going to do tonight.

- What?

- Whatever you did.

What did you do that weekend I went out of town?

- Well, I-- [stammering] I told you--

Say, by golly, you're right.

It is following the same pattern.

David's going to stay home and study tonight.

- Are you sure?

- Well, yeah, he told me so himself.

[phone ringing]

How about that?

Like father, like son.

- Hello?

Oh, hello, Dave.

Oh, then you won't be home for dinner?

Oh.

Well, OK, dear.

Bye.

- Is something the matter?

- Well, I don't know.

It's got to follow the same pattern, it has up till now.

- Oh, Harriet, don't be so superstitious.

- Are you sure you stayed home and studied?

- What a ridiculous question.

Just because David's changed his mind

and he's taking a girl to the movies--

Is that what he said?

- Is that what you did?

- Come on, Harriet, what did David say?

- Well, he's not going to come home and study tonight.

He's going to study down at the library.

- Oh!

- But you told me you stayed home and studied.

Are you sure you didn't study at the library that night?

- Well, now, by golly, Harriet, it's

possible you may be right at that.

[music playing]

- Pardon me.

Is this seat taken?

- No.

- Is it all right if I sit down here?

- Sure, go right ahead.

- Are you doing a book report?

- Not exactly.

It's a term paper.

- I don't know why, I always put these things off

till the last minute.

- Well, that's the way it goes.

- Say, you look very familiar.

Is your name David Nelson?

- Well, yes, it is.

- I thought so.

My name is Jackie Peterson.

You probably don't remember me, but I met you

at a basketball game last year.

- Oh.

Well, it's nice to see you again.

- There aren't very many people here tonight, are there?

- Well, no.

You know, Saturday night, most everybody's out some place.

I guess the library is hardly the most popular spot in town.

- Do you always study on Saturday nights?

- No, I usually go out.

I had a date for tonight, but this girl I was going out with

had to go out of town.

- Oh, that's a shame.

Are you engaged or something?

- No, not actually.

We've been going out together since I met her, though.

- Oh, that's nice.

Say, I'm afraid I'm keeping you from your work.

- Oh, that's OK.

I don't have to get this in for a couple of weeks.

What are you reading there?

- Oh, it's an agricultural survey.

- Oh.

Are you interested in that?

- Oh, no.

I just happened to see it on the table

and thought I'd browse through it.

- Say, you wouldn't by any chance

be interested in going to a show?

- Oh, I'd love to.

- Let's go.

[music playing]

- Wait a minute.

I want to get some popcorn.

- Do you know when the feature starts?

- In a couple of minutes, sir.

- Oh, thanks.

Uh, why don't we wait, Harriet?

We'll get better seats.

- OK.

- Mm.

- [chuckles]

- Oh, on second thought, uh, let's go in now.

- No, let's stay out here and finish our popcorn.

- We can finish it inside.

- OK.

- Hey, Mom, Pop! It's my mother and father.

- Oh, how nice. - Oh.

- Dave!

- Dave.

What are you doing here, son?

You're supposed to be studying.

- Well, I changed my mind.

Mom, Pop, this is Jackie Peterson.

- How do you do?

- How do you do? What happened?

- Well, I was over at the library when

who should walk in but Jackie here,

so we decided it might be more fun to come to the movies.

I could study tomorrow night. - Oh.

- You're going to see the show?

- Well, yes, we are, dear, but you go right ahead.

We want to finish our popcorn. - It's nice to have met you.

- Thank you. Bye.

- See you later. - OK.

Ah, how about that?

Come on, dear, the feature's starting.

- You mean you've been carrying this deep, dark secret around

with you all these years?

- There was nothing secret about it.

I just didn't think it was important enough to mention,

that's all.

And if you must know, it was kind

of a dull, uninteresting evening.

The girl was rather attractive, but definitely

on the dull side.

- I know it.

- What do you mean you know it?

- She was a friend of mine.

I arranged it to keep you out of circulation till I got back.

- I thought it was funny that a girl should call me up out

of a clear blue sky like that and introduce herself.

What was the matter, didn't you trust me?

- Well, of course not.

Who could possibly trust a man with a raccoon coat, a ukulele,

and a kazoo?

- Hi, Mom, Pop.

- Oh, hi, Dave.

- Oh, hi, Dave.

You're home early, aren't you?

- Yeah.

Jackie's a nice girl, but she's kind of dull.

- Oh, that's interesting.

Uh, she isn't by any chance a friend of your girlfriend

Harriet's, is she?

- Well, yeah.

- Well, that's a coincidence.

- How did you know?

- Oh, uh, call it a stab in the dark, a lucky guess.

- I'll tell you something else I found out.

Jackie just didn't walk into the library by accident.

Harriet planned the whole thing.

- Well, sure, that figures.

- Well, that just proves she likes you, David.

She wanted to keep you out of circulation

till she got back to town.

- Oh, I'm not so sure.

I found out something else.

You know why she went out of town?

She went to a college prom.

- She did, did she?

- Well, sure, she did.

You see, she'd known this boy for a long time.

Their families were friends.

And when he asked her to go to the prom,

she didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I was afraid

you might not--

I mean, she was afraid to tell you

for fear you might not understand.

But believe me, David, she's counting the hours

till she'll be back in town and seeing you again.

I'm sure of it.

- Gee, Mom, how do you know all that?

- Well, Dave, your mother is a pretty remarkable woman.

Not only that, she has an old ouija board up in the attic.

[music playing]

[ending theme]

- Join us next week for more "Adventures

of Ozzie and Harriet," produced on Eastman film,

with all the scope and realism that only motion pictures make

possible.

And brought to you by Eastman Kodak Company and Kodak dealers

everywhere.

This has been an ABC television network film presentation.