All language subtitles for The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet S05E01 The Kappa Sig Party 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-CRFW (1)_track4_[eng]

[music playing]

NARRATOR: "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's
favorite family, the Nelsons.

- Hi.

I hope our show
tonight will bring back

some pleasant memories.

I know it does for us.

It's a story Ozzie wrote
about seven years ago,

and it's based on a situation
that actually happened

in the Nelson household.

We hope you'll enjoy
"The Kappa Sig Party."

[music playing]

- Hiya, Dave.

- Oh, hi, Chuck.

You going in the
clothing business?

- Oh, no.

I'm just going to get this suit
pressed for tomorrow night.

- Oh, that's right.

There's another rush
party isn't there?

- Yeah.

This one ought to be real good.

There's a lot of room
over at Don's house.

- You know, I think we've been
giving too many rush parties.

- Well, they seem
to do the trick.

Looks like we'll have the
best pledge class on campus.

Hey, do you want to double
with me tomorrow night?

- Oh, I don't even know
whether I'll go or not.

Besides, you'll have
that nice pressed suit.

You'd show me up.

- Not if you wear that new
cashmere coat of yours.

Boy, that's a beauty.

- Only thing though,
it's not new.

- I've never seen it before.

- That's because
my father doesn't

get dressed up very often.

[laughter]

- Gee, I wish my uncle Bob
would lose a little weight.

He's got some of the
most beautiful coats.

- Yeah.

- Hey, how come you're
not going to the party?

- Oh, I don't know.

They just haven't
been much fun lately.

- Oh, gee, that's because you
and Susie always leave just

when the party's
gettin' started.

- Gee, that's not my
fault. Susie's mother

makes her get home
so darn early.

- Yeah, well, only when
she's out with you,

and that's because you
wear that cashmere coat

and that plaid vest
with the brass buttons.

If I had a daughter, I wouldn't
let her go out with you at all.

- That's a fact.

I don't think her
mother likes me.

- Oh, that's impossible.

Everybody loves good ol' Dave.

- You're wasting
your time, you know?

You can't borrow
the cashmere coat.

I told you.
It's my--

BOTH: Father's.

[laughter]

- Hiya, Dave.
Chuck.

BOTH: Hi, Don.

- Hey, I got a little bad news.

- What happened?

- My kid brother's
got the measles.

- Oh, that's not serious.

All kids get 'em.
- There's only one thing though.

That means we can't have the
party at my house tomorrow

night.
- Hey, that's right.

- Gee, I think we've been
given too many parties anyway.

They're getting kind of stale.

- Yeah, but you can't just
call it off at the last minute.

But the Dekes are having a
rush party tomorrow night.

So are the Betas.

- Well, we can't have it
at my house for a while.

We had it there two weeks ago.

- Don't look at me.

I'm not even going.

- Hi.

ALL: Hi, Nancy.

- What's this, a
Kappa Sig convention?

Why don't you fellas
hold your meetings over

at the fraternity house?

- Why do you always have to
interrupt just when we're

discussing serious business?

- Now, don't tell me
you're on probation again.

- Now, here you
are making jokes,

and we're talking about an
illness in Don's family.

His little brother
has the measles

with serious complications.

- Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Don.

- Well, it's really just a
light case of the measles,

but it's complicating our plans.

The party was supposed to be
at our house tomorrow night.

- Why don't you have it
at your house, David?

- Why is it when two
girls go around together,

one of 'em never says anything
and the other one talks all

the time?

[laughter]

- I just want to make
sure there's a party

someplace tomorrow night.

I was invited and I
bought a new dress.

- Well, how about it, Dave?

Can't we have it at your house?

- Well, gee, I don't
even have a date.

You know how girls hate to be
invited at the last minute.

Now, if I thought there was
a possibility that Cathy here

would go with me,
I'd invite her.

- I accept.

- Now, there's a girl
after my own heart.

She doesn't say much,
but when she does,

it's short and to the point.

[laughter]

- Oh, gee.
I almost forgot.

It's just about my turn
to have the Kappa Sig

party at our house.
- So soon?

- What do you mean
you almost forgot?

You been sitting
there for 20 minutes

trying to figure out how you'd
work it in the conversation.

[laughter]
- OK, drummer boy.

Drink your milk.

Is it OK if we
have it here, Mom?

- Well, sure.

I guess so if it's your turn.

When's it supposed to be?

- Tomorrow night.

- Tomorrow night?
- Tomorrow night?

- Tomorrow night?
[laughter]

DAVID NELSON: OK, Ricky.

- Gee, that hardly gives us time
enough to warn the neighbors.

[laughter]

- It is kind of short notice.

Don't you think so, Dave?

- Well, it was supposed
to be at Don's house,

but his little brother
got the measles.

- Don't look at me.

I've already had them.

- Well, don't worry
about it, Dave.

I can have things ready
in time, but you guys

are going to have to help.

- Well, you don't have
to do a thing, Mom.

All we need is some
potato chips and Cokes.

- Oh, that's what you
said the last time.

But if we're going
to have a party here,

let's make it a good one.

- For a small
consideration, I'll

bring my drums downstairs
and liven things up a bit.

Or better yet, I'll take
the girls into the den

and teach 'em to rock and roll.
[laughter]

- Quite frankly, I was
figuring on bribing you with $1

to go down to the
movies for the evening.

- $1?
Are you kidding?

That wouldn't even
cover my tips.

[laughter]

- Besides, I always
sit in the lows.

- Will we have to take
up the rugs for dancing?

- I don't think we'll
do any dancing, Mom.

We'll probably mostly
sit around and talk.

Boy, that sounds like
an exciting evening.

- Well, it happens
to suit us just fine.

- Look, Dave, I don't
mean to butt in,

but don't you think your parties
would be a little more fun

if you kind of organized them?

You know, planned
out the evening?

- Well, I don't know.

Maybe so.

- Well, if you need any
help organizing things,

I'd be very happy to
pitch in and help you.

- I'll get it.

- I think the best thing
for the parents to do

is just stay out of the way.

- Well, I have no intention
of injecting myself

into the party.

- Oh don't worry
about that, Pop.

Any suggestions are
more than welcome.

It's for you, David.

- Oh, pardon me.

[music playing]

- I really mean it, dear.

I don't think you ought to
interfere with David's party.

- Who's interfering?

You heard him say
any suggestions are

more than welcome.

- Oh, he was just being polite.

- Just a second.

Here he is, dollface.

[laughter]
- Who is it?

- I don't know, but she
sounds kind of cute.

- Hello?

Oh, hello, Cathy.

No.

My father wouldn't
talk like that.

That was my brother.
[laughter]

- How about that?

My voice must be getting
deeper than I thought.

- Would you please keep quiet?

- And what were you saying?

Well, sure.

I'm counting on it.

You can make it, can't you?

Oh, great.

Listen, I'll pick you
up about 8 o'clock.

Wait a minute.

Where do you live?

Just a second,
I'll get a pencil.

- Here.

Be my guest.

[laughter]

- OK.

Swell.

Well, thanks a lot for calling.

[laughter]
Yeah.

I'll see you tomorrow night.
Right.

Bye.

- Who was that?

David?
- Huh?

- Who was that?

- It's a girl I
met the other day.

- What's her name?

- Her name's Cathy, and she's
coming to the party with me

tomorrow night.

Boy, you are, without a
doubt, the nosiest guy

I've ever met in my life.

I don't know where
you get it from.

- Who was out on
the phone, Dave?

[laughter]

- Her name's Cathy.

She lives at 527
Sycamore Street.

Dave just met her a
couple of days ago,

and she's coming to
the party with him.

- Thanks a lot.

She's a real cute girl.

I've never been out
with her before,

but she seems real nice.

- How come you're
not taking Susie?

- Oh, I don't know.

I've been going out with
Susie so much lately,

I thought I'd take
somebody else for a change.

- Yeah, you got a point there.

You know what your mother
always says, "Play the field.

You'll be married to one
person for a long, long time."

- You're the one who said that.

[laughter]

- Well, maybe it was me.

- And don't make it sound
like such a long, long time.

[laughter]

- Gosh, I didn't mean us.

Gee, it seems as if we've
just been married for--

we just got married.

- But don't overdo it, dear.

Quit while you're ahead.

[laughter]

- You and Susie didn't have an
argument or anything, did you,

Dave?
- No.

Susie seems to like me OK.

I don't think her mother
cares for me very much.

- Well, mothers sometimes
seem kind of strict.

But you've got to remember,
it isn't easy bringing up

a daughter nowadays.

- Oh, I know that, Pop.

But she puts me through a
regular third degree every time

I take Susie out.

I have to get her
home so darn early.

I just don't think she likes me.

What's the matter, Pop?

- Oh, nothing.

I was just thinking
of a little thing

I used to do when I
was about your age.

Every time I'd meet a girl's
mother for the first time,

I'd say, "This can't
be your mother.

It must be your sister."

- Boy, from then on,
I was really in solid.

[laughter]

- Oh, pop, who'd fall for that?

- Well, I'm telling you,
Dave, it never misses.

You see, all women like
to think of themselves

as looking a little younger
than they really are.

- What was that again?

I just got that last part.

[laughter]

- Oh, I'm just giving
Dave a little advice.

- Pop says the next time I'm
introduced to a girl's mother,

I should say, "This
can't be your mother.

It must be your sister."

- Oh, that's awful.

- I didn't say that's
what Dave should say.

I said that's what I used
to say when I was his age.

[laughter]

- I think mothers are too
smart to fall for that stuff

nowadays, Pop.

- No, no, no, Dave.

Believe me.

All women love compliments.

Suppose she does happen to
be a little old looking.

At least you've made her
happy for a few minutes.

There's certainly
no harm in that.

- Say, I just happened
to think of something.

Remember the other day when I
drove in with David in the car?

You said I looked young
enough to be his sister.

- Well, yes.
You did.

- I was so pleased, I baked you
a blueberry pie for dessert.

I should have thrown it at you.

[laughter]

- Gee, Mom, it's the truth.

Lots of kids have mentioned
how young you look.

- Really?
- Well, sure.

Especially with your
hair cut short like that,

it looks great.

- It looks great.

[laughter]

- Oh, thank you, dear.

- Now, you see
what I mean, Dave?

Not that your mother isn't
young and attractive looking,

but all women just love
that kind of stuff.

- Will you speak
up a little louder?

I can't hear you.

[laughter]

- I better come in
there, or you'll never

get those dishes off the table.

[laughter]

- Can't seem to get this
badminton net untangled.

I want to make sure it's OK.

- I'm sure it's all right, Pop.

It's never been used.

- I know.

It's been laying up in the attic
there for about three years.

- Afraid there might
be some holes in it?

[laughter]

- Yeah, in the wrong places.

- Hi, fellas!

- Oh, hi.

- Hi.

Hey, look, here's a Christmas
card that came with it.

- Who gave you
this thing anyway?

- You did.
Don't you remember?

Dave and I wanted a
motorcycle, and you

said we'd have more fun
with a badminton set.

- Oh, of course, that
was a few years ago.

I could get away with that
sort of stuff in those days.

- What are you guys doing here?

- We're just opening
Christmas presents.

[laughter]

- Christmas presents?

- Remember this badminton set
we gave the boys for Christmas

a couple of years ago?

If I ever get it untangled,
I'm going to put it up here.

- Wouldn't it be better
over there with the fence?

- Well, no.

See, we've got the lights for
the basketball court here,

and I figured they could either
play basketball or badminton

and use the same light.

- You mean at the party tonight?

- Yeah, in case things
started to get dull.

- I don't think it'll get
dull if I bring my drums

and record player downstairs.

- Look, Rick, this
is David's party now,

David and his
fraternity brothers.

- You mean I'm not invited,
his own flesh and blood?

[laughter]

- I'm certain you're invited.

I'm sure he'd be happy to
have you put in an appearance,

but he doesn't want you to
take over the whole evening

with your drums and stuff.

Do you know where
the basketball is?

- It's in the hall closet.
You want me to get it?

Yeah, would you please?

- Do you want anything else.

No, just the basketball.

Hey, Harriet, didn't
we used to have

an old "Pin the Tail on
the Donkey" set around here

someplace?

I know it's a kid's game,
but it's a lot of fun.

- Oh, for goodness'
sakes, dear, you just

finished telling Ricky not
to take over the party,

and here you are lining up a
regular schedule of events.

[laughter]

- I'm just trying to
have something in reserve

in case the party
starts to lay a bomb.

That's all.

- Well, I just don't think
we ought to project ourselves

into the middle of everything.

David's old enough to think
things out for himself.

- I'm not going to do anything
David doesn't want me to.

What the heck have you got here?
- Food.

Plenty of it.

There's one thing I'm sure
those kids want to do tonight,

and that's eat.

- Harriet, you heard
David distinctly say, all

I wanted was some
Cokes and potato chips.

Now who's trying to
take over the party?

- Hey, Pop, will you help me
carry my drums downstairs?

- Ricky, leave those
drums where they are.

They may not want
to dance tonight.

- Don't you think I
ought to have them

down there just in case?

- Where is the basketball?

I thought you were going to
bring the basketball down here?

- Leave it where it is.

I'm sure they don't
want to play basketball

in their good clothes.

Come on, dear, let's get
these groceries in the house.

- Harriet, this is ridiculous.

You heard David say he
didn't want any food tonight,

and you've got enough
stuff here to feed an army.

- Who's going to help
me with my drums?

[laughter]

- Get David to help you and
come down here and finish

putting up the badminton set.

- David's asleep.

He's taking a nap.

- Well, wake him up.

This is a fine thing.

David's supposed to be
giving a party tonight,

and we're the ones
doing all the work.

[laughter]

[music playing]

- You sure look beautiful, Mom.

Everybody will think
you're my sister for sure.

- Well, thank you, dear.

Are you just saying that
or you practicing up

for Cathy's mother?

- Are you kidding?

I don't think I'd have the
nerve to say anything like that

to a girl's mother.

- Oh, and don't worry
about tonight, Dave.

- Oh, I'm not.

I'm sure everybody
will have a good time.

- No, I mean about your
father and Ricky and me.

Just as soon as we
meet all your friends,

we'll get right out of the way
and let you have your own party

just the way you want it.

- Oh, gee, Mom, you don't
have to rush right off.

After all, this is your house.

- Well, it's your house,
too, and it's your party.

- Look, I don't
mean to rush you,

but hadn't you better get going?

- Yeah, I was just
looking for my plaid vest.

Have you seen anywhere around?

- Oh, it was in your
closet this afternoon.

I saw it.

- Yeah, I know.
it's not there now.

I saw it too.

Wonder what happened to it.

[laughter]

- Has anybody seen my
brown cashmere coat?

- Well, yeah, Pop, I
have it right here.

- Oh, thanks, Dave.

- I was kind of wondering if
I could borrow it for tonight.

- Oh, yeah.

Sure.

Gee, something the matter?

- Well, yeah.

I was kind of figuring on
wearing my plaid vest with it.

[laughter]

- Oh.

Oh, OK, son.

- Sure hate to do
this to you, Pop.

- Oh, that's all right.

I think my gray suit would
be more appropriate anyway.

- I got to go pick up my date.

Sure hope her mother likes me.

I need to break up the
party at 11 o'clock.

- But you know
what I said, Dave.

When you meet her mother, just
tell her how young she looks.

Never fails.

- I don't know.

I don't think I'd have enough
nerve to say that, Pop.

- Well, see you later.

- OK, son.

Gee, I hope my gray
suit is pressed.

- Now remember, dear,
this is David's party.

- You keep saying that.

You're the one who wants to fix
all the food, you know, not me.

- Only if they want it.

And I want you to
promise me that you

won't try to organize
a bunch of games,

and that you won't start
tackling practice in the living

room.

[laughter]
- That's right.

There'll be a lot of football
players here tonight.

- Yes, and they get
all the practice

they need on the field.

- I have no intention
of starting a football

game in our living room.

- And no card tricks.

[laughter]

- Card tricks?

I may be corny,
Harriet, but I'm not

that corny for goodness' sakes.

- Pop, did you want
these for something?

- What's that, Dave?

- Well, this deck of cards, they
were in the pocket of my vest

here.

[laughter]

- That's all right, son.

Just put them any place at all.

[music playing]

Harriet?

- What do you want?

- Better come down.

The crowd's starting to arrive.

- Hey, Pop, would you give me a
hand with these drums, please?

[laughter]

- Take these upstairs, will you?

You know what David said.

- I'm trying to,
but they're stuck.

[doorbell]

- Just a second.

[doorbell]

Be right there.

Careful with the banister.

Oh, hi, Don.
Come on in.

- Hi, Mr. Nelson.

I don't know if you
met everybody or not.

- Well, they all look familiar.
Nice to see you.

How's your kid brother
with the measles?

- Swell, thanks.

- Don't give me the Kappa
Sig grip by mistake, fellas.

I'm not a member.
[laughter]

- Hey, Rick.

We're going to have some music?

- Oh, I was just taking
my drums upstairs.

- Oh, you're kidding.
Come on.

Let's get them down here.
I'll give you a hand.

- Do you have a record player?
- Yes.

Right there in the den.

- Oh, maybe we'll have
some dancing later.

- Great!
- Oh, come on in.

I'm Dave's father.
- Hello.

- Nice to see you.
- How do you do, Mr. Nelson?

- How do you do.
Come right in.

Just leave your wraps over here.

Oh, this is Mrs. Nelson.
- How do you do?

- How do you do?

Come on in and make
yourselves at home.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Hi, Pop.
- Hi, Dave.

- Cathy, this is my mother.

Cathy Johnson.

- How do you do, Cathy?

- This is my father.
- Oh, how do you do?

It's nice to know you.

- We came in the back way.

I hope it's OK.
- It sure is.

Hello, Chuck.

- How have you
been, Mrs. Nelson?

- Fine, thank you.

- I think you know everybody.
- Hello.

- Yes, I think so, but don't
ask me to call off any names.

Do you girls want to put
your coats in the hall?

- Oh, thank you.

- I hope you don't mind,
but I couldn't help

but notice a lot of food as
I came through the kitchen.

Does that mean we're going
to eat tonight, I hope?

- It sure does.

- I thought you guys said you
just want a Cokes and potato

chips?
- Oh, not me.

I'm on a diet.

I can't eat potato chips.

Do you have any hamburgers?

- About 50 pounds of them.

- I'll take those.

[laughter]

- Leave your coats
over there, girls.

- What kind of tempo
would you like?

- Oh, anything soft and smooth.

How about the one that's
on there, "Cuban Fantasy"?

- Yeah, that's real good.

Turn it on, Susie.

[upbeat cuban music]

- Who'd like to dance with me?

- Don't look at me,
I'm playing the drums.

[laughter]

- You're elected.

- Yeah, that's it.

You see, the principle
of defensive end play

really hasn't changed
any in the last 25 years.

The idea is still to get
across the line of scrimmage

as fast as you can with
your hands in front of you.

Then you hesitate
just an instant

to see whether you want to
turn the play in or float out

with it.

- Tell them about the point
of weakness, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, I don't know
if you guys have ever

heard this or not before.

Ron, would you
hold the football?

No matter how strong
a position you take,

a guy can be pushed off
balance if you attack 'em

at his point of weakness.

Take a good strong
position, Bob.

- How's this?

- That's it.

Now, see, I can work on
Bob all day over here,

but that's his
point of strength.

But his point of weakness
is right over here.

Now, his two feet
are his positives.

If I draw a line
between his two feet,

a line perpendicular to that
line is his point of weakness,

and no matter how
much he resists,

I can push him off balance
with just two fingers.

- How about that?

I knew my geometry would come
in handy one of these days.

[laughter]

- Hey, come on in the den.

Ricky and Betty are
doing a terrific dance.

- Hey, let's go.

- I've seen this before.

[laughter]

- And they match the skirt
on your dressing table,

don't they?
- Yes, they do.

I'm so glad you like them.

- Uh, Mom?

- Oh, come in, Dave.

- I hate to interrupt
this, but some of the guys

were wondering when
we were going to eat.

- Oh, you put the coffee on.

I'll be right down.

[slow jazz music]

- It's awfully nice of you
to ask me to dance with you,

Cathy.

- Oh, I'm enjoying it.

You know, it's so hard
for me to think of you

as being David's father.

You look young enough
to be his brother.

[laughter]

- It's probably the
bow tie I'm wearing.

[laughter]

[music playing]

- Oh, Jerry.

Would you give me
the salt and pepper?

It's up in the cupboard there.

- Sure.

- Need any help, Mrs. Nelson?

- Now, wait a minute.

She has all the help she needs.
- What are you doing?

- I'm the official taster.
[laughter]

- Is the hamburger
ready, Mrs. Nelson?

- Coming right up.

- Oh, thank you.

Wow, Mrs. Nelson.

This is the best one yet.

[laughter]

- You can see.

- I cannot.

[laughter]

- Food, everybody!
[bell ringing]

Come and get it!

- Give me room, girls.
- Wait for me.

- Come on.
- Run interference!

- Hey, didn't you
have any dinner?

- Somebody pick up
my mother, will you?

[laughter]

- Good night, dearie.

- Good night, Bob.

- Good night, Bob.

- It was a wonderful
party, Mrs. Nelson.

- Thank you, Irene.

- It sure was.

I hate to admit it, Mrs. Nelson,
but I had seven hamburgers.

- You had 10, but
who's counting?

[laughter]

- You're pretty terrific
on those drums, Rick.

- Thank you.

- A wonderful party, Dave.

Thanks a lot for
helping out, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, it's fine.
It's a real pleasure.

- I had a very nice
time, Mr. Nelson.

- Well, thank you.
- Good night, Mrs. Nelson.

- Good night, Cathy.
- Good night.

Good night.
- Thanks again, Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, swell.
It's was nice having you.

- Good night, Don.
- Good night.

- Good night, Don.

- Chuck, you want to
pull the car around?

- OK.
- I'll be right there, Cathy.

- OK.

- Gee, Mom, Pop, I don't
know how to thank you.

Everybody said this is the best
party that Kappa Sig's ever

had.
- Oh, that's wonderful.

I'm glad everybody
had such a good time.

- That's fine, Dave.

- And you and Mom sure made
a big hit with everybody.

Even Ricky was less
obnoxious than usual.

- I thought I was
quite charming myself.

[laughter]

- You were wonderful, dear.

- Well, they sure are a
great bunch of kids, Dave.

And that little Cathy is just
about the nicest little girl

you've ever been out with.

- She certainly is.

- Well, thanks, I'm
glad you liked her.

- Well, you better
get her home, Dave.

You don't want to
keep her out too late.

- I don't have to
worry about that, Pop.

Her mother seemed to take
a liking to me right away.

- Oh?

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

- Yeah, I went to pick Cathy
up at her house tonight,

and her mother
answered the door.

And I said, "I'm David Nelson."

She said, "Hello,
I'm Cathy's mother."

And all of a sudden I
found myself saying, "Gee,

you look young enough
to be her sister."

[laughter]

It was really the truth, though.

She is very young looking.

- Oh, that's good.

I'm glad everybody
had such a good time.

- Yeah, so am I.
And even if you do

look young enough
to be my sister,

I'm glad you're my mother.

- Well, thank you, dear.

- Yeah, I think she's
pretty special too.

You know, Dave,
sometimes parents

like us are a little
reluctant to let you guys go.

So if we seem to hang
on to you, you just

got to be a little
understanding with us.

See, we want you to grow up
and get along without us,

and yet we hate to
lose our little boys.

Seems like yesterday when I'd
go into your bedroom at night,

two little towheaded guys
would be sleeping there,

and I'd go over and
kiss you good night.

Now, I have to shake hands.

- Yeah, I know
what you mean, Pop.

- Well, you better not keep
the others waiting, dear.

- OK.
Thanks again, Mom.

- Good night, dear.

- Good night, Dave.

- You wouldn't dare.

[laughter]

[music playing]

[applause]

- Let me get this straight now.

As I meet her mother I say,
"This can't be your mother,

it must be your sister."

- Yeah, that's right.

And believe me, it
works like a charm.

- How do you do?

You can't be Betty's mother.

You look more like her sister.

You don't look a day over 30.

[doorbell]

How do you-- oh, hi, Betty.

- Hi, Ricky.
Come on in.

I'll get my coat.

It'll only take me a minute.

- How do you do?

I'm Ricky Nelson.

- Hello, Ricky.

- This is impossible.

You can't be Betty's mother.

You look more like her sister.

You can't be a
day over 30 or 31.

- I am Betty's sister.

I'm 23 years old.

And if you don't get
her home by 11 o'clock,

I'll call the police.

[laughter]

[music playing]

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of Ozzie and Harriet"

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