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1
00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:20,345
Alex, take a look at this.
2
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:23,748
I have a date with the
girl in the suntan oil ad.
3
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:24,949
Her name is randi. Oh...
4
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:26,385
She's agreed to go out with me,
5
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,997
but she wants me to
bring somebody else along
6
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,299
to go out with her older sister.
7
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,989
What do you say?
Oh, I don't know, Tony.
8
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Come on, do one for me,
9
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,092
please, please, please. No, I...
10
00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:35,427
Oh, all right, okay.
11
00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:36,595
Oh, great, Alex.
12
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:37,763
We're meeting them at 8:30,
13
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:39,598
at this French place
in the village.
14
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:42,067
La belle chateau.
15
00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:45,504
Oh, French food!
16
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:48,140
Sounds like a terrific evening.
17
00:01:48,175 --> 00:01:49,641
It's gonna be a great
evening, Jim.
18
00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:52,478
Oh, la la la la la!
19
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:56,881
Ah, la cuisine française
est magnifique.
20
00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:59,551
C'est la plus bonne de monde.
21
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:02,054
Hey, Jim,
you're speaking French.
22
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,788
Moi?
23
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:10,429
All right, attention,
cabbies, attention here.
24
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:13,698
All right, yesterday,
25
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:16,768
latka gravas was
test driving a cab
26
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:20,805
when suddenly,
the engine burst into flames.
27
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:23,775
Our latka got out of the cab
28
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:26,378
and beat the flames
out with his jacket,
29
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:29,648
risking life and limb
to save that vehicle.
30
00:02:31,451 --> 00:02:34,953
Therefore,
I am pleased to present latka
31
00:02:34,989 --> 00:02:37,155
with the employee
of the month award.
32
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:40,492
Latka, would you like to say
33
00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:42,594
a few words to the cabbies?
34
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:47,899
Thank you very much.
35
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,934
I am a dope.
36
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:05,717
Madame, I can seat you now.
37
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,753
Will you be dining... uh...?
38
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:11,189
Uh, are you, uh... alone?
39
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,958
Is that what you're
trying to say?
40
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,893
Yes, I will be dining alone.
41
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,594
No one else is coming.
42
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,697
We're all here.
43
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:22,567
Uh, excuse me,
this is my first time dining alone,
44
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:24,970
so I just wanted to
ask you one thing.
45
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:26,972
Where are lonely,
desperate women
46
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,374
usually seated in the
better restaurants?
47
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,409
Table four.
48
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:40,352
Hey...
now, this is a classy place.
49
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:41,953
I know, I came here years ago
50
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:44,656
when they only had
one brick wall.
51
00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:46,491
Oh, my god.
52
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:48,160
Uh, waiter, waiter!
53
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:49,327
Waiter! Oh, madame...
54
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:50,795
Something is wrong?
55
00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,563
Yes,
my ex-husband just walked in.
56
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,600
Is there a side door
57
00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:57,369
or a meat locker
I could hide in?
58
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,137
I'm sorry.
59
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,606
I don't know why I let you
talk me into this, Tony.
60
00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:03,775
Come on! Oh, dear.
61
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:06,979
Alex!
62
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:09,046
Huh? Tony: There she is!
63
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,616
Oh. Isn't she beautiful?
64
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:15,953
Alex, there she is again!
65
00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:20,225
Hi, Tony. Tony: Hi.
66
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,860
I'd like you to meet my
sister, candi.
67
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,362
Hi, candi. Randi, candi,
68
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:24,896
I'd like you to meet my
friend, Alex.
69
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,064
Hi. Hi.
70
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,365
Hi!
71
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:31,470
Uh, how long have
you two been twins?
72
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,676
I feel silly, right,
but I love feeling silly.
73
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,518
Sorry I'm late.
74
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:48,553
What do you mean late?
75
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:49,988
What are you doing here?
76
00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:51,656
I assumed I was invited.
77
00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:52,891
You weren't!
78
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:54,959
Well, you're lucky
I made that mistake,
79
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,128
or I never would've gotten here.
80
00:04:57,164 --> 00:05:00,899
Uh, Jim ignatowski,
this is candi and randi moratta.
81
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,367
Oh. Our dates...
82
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:03,502
Mine and Alex's.
83
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:04,703
Ours, ours.
84
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,037
How do?
85
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,039
How's it going?
86
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:10,208
Egg split in the womb, huh?
87
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:12,744
Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim...
88
00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:14,045
Jim.
89
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,714
Alex? Huh?
90
00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:18,249
I got a real problem here.
91
00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:19,751
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
92
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:21,085
Would you ladies excuse us?
93
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,732
Uh, we have something
to straighten out here.
94
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,289
I'm having a great time
here, Alex.
95
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:27,959
Yeah, yeah, yeah, listen, Jim...
96
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,661
Oh, my god.
97
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:32,597
Oh, my god, my ex-wife.
98
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:34,032
Uh, Jim, uh, would you tell them
99
00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:35,667
to excuse me for
just a few minutes?
100
00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:38,369
See,
I'm coming in handy already.
101
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:39,405
Yeah.
102
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,821
Phyllis. Oh, hi, Alex.
103
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,788
You, uh, you look terrific.
104
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:00,493
You've lost weight.
105
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,060
Yeah, 35 pounds.
106
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,294
Wow, how'd you do that?
107
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:05,397
The grief diet.
108
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,399
Your husband divorces you
109
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:10,368
and then you cry and
vomit for three months.
110
00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:13,971
No, I mean, uh, i'm,
I'm really sorry to hear
111
00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,618
that your second marriage
didn't work out, Phyllis.
112
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,542
Well, hey, you
know, I'll survive.
113
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,043
Look at me.
114
00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:21,012
I'm back in circulation already.
115
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,613
Oh, who're you with?
116
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,749
Him.
117
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,050
You know, he's always
118
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,352
so interested that other people
119
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,555
are having a good time.
120
00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:35,026
Hey, come on, Phyllis,
you're dining alone, right?
121
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,862
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
122
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,097
Well, I'm not ashamed.
123
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,965
I mean, I'm really glad
to be dining alone.
124
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,167
Could I just ask you one
thing, though? What?
125
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:46,872
Is it rude to talk to
yourself with your mouth full?
126
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,673
Alex, we're still over here!
127
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,175
Come on over here.
128
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,244
Uh, listen, Phyllis, i'm,
i'm neglecting my company, uh...
129
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:56,247
Oh, right, listen,
go back to them.
130
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:57,748
I mean,
131
00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:00,551
I can see you got a pretty
big night ahead of you, huh?
132
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,788
No, no, no, it's not a big
night, it's not a big night.
133
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,263
Oh, it's not a big night?
No, no, no.
134
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:05,568
Oh, well,
then what is a big night?
135
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:06,691
Triplets?
136
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,331
Well, it was really nice
seeing you again, Phyllis.
137
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,233
Alex, before you go, don't go.
138
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,667
But, Phyllis, I have to, uh...
139
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:17,869
Alex, please.
140
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:21,405
I'm gonna be staying
at the mayflower hotel
141
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,909
through next Tuesday, and I just...
I just thought
142
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,846
it would be really good if we
spent some of that time together.
143
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,780
Yeah.
Or most of that time together.
144
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,782
Or every waking
moment of that time...
145
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:34,885
Look, Phyllis, Phyllis, look,
if-if-if you want to talk,
146
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:36,388
just give me a call, okay?
147
00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:37,822
Please.
Listen, Alex, no, really,
148
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,758
I understand that you
have to be running along
149
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,527
to your little pagan ritual,
150
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:46,431
but I just want to ask you
one thing right now, okay?
151
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,033
I mean,
even after all this time,
152
00:07:49,068 --> 00:07:51,469
is there still something there?
153
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,407
Sure, sure, sure.
154
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:56,941
Of course there's
something there.
155
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,644
I mean, uh,
if you were walking down the street
156
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:02,514
and a safe was about to fall on
you, I would yell, "look out".
157
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:07,419
Me, too.
158
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:09,788
Phyllis, not wanting to
see you get pulverized
159
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,424
is a far cry from
a reconciliation.
160
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:13,725
Will you excuse me?
161
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:17,629
Oh, Alex... huh?
162
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:20,899
When I'm reaching
out to you like this,
163
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:25,737
when I'm this vulnerable,
when I'm this manipulative,
164
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,540
I just don't believe that you
can get up from this table
165
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:32,343
and just walk away
from me like this.
166
00:08:32,378 --> 00:08:35,179
Uh, look, uh, uh, Phyllis, look,
167
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:38,249
the best thing that I can
do for you right now is,
168
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:42,053
uh, to be as honest and
as clear as I know how.
169
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:46,223
We're...
170
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:50,528
We're simply just not involved
in each other's lives anymore.
171
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,496
Understand?
172
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,970
So, I just put an end to things
173
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,204
right then and there.
174
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,740
I think I did the right thing.
175
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,174
You think I did the right thing?
176
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,643
I'm sure I did the right thing.
177
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,277
Aren't you sure I
did the right thing?
178
00:09:06,312 --> 00:09:07,712
Yes, you did the right thing.
179
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:08,880
How could you say that?
180
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,047
The woman is all alone.
181
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:13,317
Alex,
you can't make it easy for her.
182
00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:14,719
All you can do
183
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:16,955
is you can help her
postpone all the stuff
184
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,357
that she's gonna have to
eventually deal with anyway.
185
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:22,460
The only way you can help
your ex-wife is if you care,
186
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:25,563
I mean, really care enough to
get involved with her again.
187
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,164
Do you?
188
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,533
No!
189
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,068
Well,
then you were absolutely right
190
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,503
in being as rotten as you were.
191
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:34,338
Oh, Elaine, come on,
don't do that to me.
192
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,674
No, really, I did the right
thing, didn't I?
193
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,343
Yes, you did. Oh...
194
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,812
Don't touch me.
195
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,353
Personally...
196
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:54,091
I love divorced women.
197
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:57,862
I love women who just
broke up with guys.
198
00:09:57,897 --> 00:10:01,232
I live on the rebound.
199
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,167
I love the rebound.
200
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:04,703
I am the rebound.
201
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,872
Now, come here,
come here, come here,
202
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:08,908
come here, come here.
203
00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,076
Look, I don't,
I don't tell this to anybody
204
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:15,180
because I don't want
anybody to find out.
205
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,482
You want desperate women?
206
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:20,652
Desperate, desperate, women?
207
00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:24,289
I know where to go
where there are girls
208
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:27,825
who just failed their bar exam.
209
00:10:31,330 --> 00:10:35,266
You look like a lawyer to
me, honey.
210
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,802
The greatest date I ever had
211
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:41,072
was with a girl who
flunked the police academy
212
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:44,943
because she couldn't
do 12 push-ups.
213
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,945
At least, not on the exam.
214
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,986
Thanks for sharing that with
me, Louie.
215
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,088
Excuse me,
I have to go boil my ears now.
216
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,526
Pearls.
217
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,273
Hello?
218
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,708
Is Alex reiger here?
219
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:20,111
Nah, he's working. He's working.
220
00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:26,451
You...
you're not his ex-wife, are you?
221
00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:28,519
Yes, I am.
222
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:29,954
I was just in the neighborhood,
223
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:32,090
and I thought I just
might catch him in.
224
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:35,659
You know, to say hello.
225
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:39,363
Well, he's, uh, out on the road.
226
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,632
He won't be back for 12 hours.
227
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:44,736
I'll wait.
228
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:58,616
Uh, I,
I know it's none of my business,
229
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:01,552
but I just want, uh, to tell you
230
00:12:01,588 --> 00:12:03,454
that I feel for you,
231
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,458
what with your life
in shreds and all.
232
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,392
Oh, thank you.
233
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:15,232
Whoever are you?
234
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:17,568
My name's Louie de palma.
235
00:12:17,603 --> 00:12:18,736
Oh.
236
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,537
I'm a real close friend of Alex.
237
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,773
Oh.
238
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:24,308
Yeah. Yeah,
I-I guess he's told you all about me?
239
00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:26,077
No. Good.
240
00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:30,515
Well,
he's told me all about you.
241
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:34,652
How, uh, witty and charming
and intelligent you are.
242
00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:35,987
Oh.
243
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:39,524
And, uh,
if you don't mind my saying,
244
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:43,194
you're also really
easy on the blinkers.
245
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:50,134
How you talk... it...
246
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:53,037
So, listen, you want to go out?
247
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:56,173
Oh, I'm busy, uh...
But I didn't say when.
248
00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:58,543
Oh, say when.
249
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,611
Tonight.
250
00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:02,547
I'm busy.
251
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,649
All right, all right.
252
00:13:04,684 --> 00:13:06,751
I'm, i'm...
I'm sorry, uh, for being so forward.
253
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,219
It's... it's just that
this feeling came over me
254
00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:13,457
that, uh, this would be
my first and last chance
255
00:13:13,492 --> 00:13:16,293
to ever spend even a little time
256
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:19,430
with a really elegant woman.
257
00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:26,704
That was so well put.
258
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,005
Yeah.
259
00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,909
Well, you know,
this may be a sewer,
260
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:35,546
but that doesn't mean it
can't have its daisies.
261
00:13:39,318 --> 00:13:41,352
Well, like, uh,
262
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:44,321
uh, what do you suppose we'd do
263
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:46,324
together, you know?
264
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,726
Make for me a memory
265
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:52,664
that would haunt the
remainder of my days on earth.
266
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,567
You know,
either the fumes in this place
267
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:58,569
are affecting my judgment...
268
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:04,442
Or you're kind of cute.
269
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:14,152
I was afraid there for a
moment you wouldn't notice.
270
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,754
How about if I pick
you up at 8:00?
271
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:20,358
Why not?
272
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,627
I'm at the mayflower hotel.
273
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,696
Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.
274
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:30,134
What? What? What? What? What?
275
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,636
Oh, nothing, nothing, nothing.
Just, uh...
276
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,207
What? What? What? What?
277
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:37,374
Nothing!
278
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:43,448
Maybe I shouldn't do
this, you know?
279
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:45,416
I hope I'm not dreaming.
280
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,738
Bingo!
281
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:14,044
He's coming!
Here, you got to read this.
282
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,013
Oh, Louie, I...
yes, you got to do it.
283
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,393
You read this.
Louie, I don't want to do this.
284
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,882
You do it. You do it.
285
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,085
I don't want to do it.
It's stupid! It's not stupid.
286
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,420
You do...
you do it when he gets up...
287
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,791
There you go, Louie.
288
00:15:28,027 --> 00:15:29,694
"Say, Louie..."
289
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,629
Uh, yes, Jeff?
290
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,498
"I hear you have
a date tonight."
291
00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:36,333
Uh, yes, that-that's true.
292
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:40,304
Yes, as a matter of fact,
I've got a hot date tonight.
293
00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:46,978
She's got class,
beauty and experience.
294
00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:49,179
Here.
295
00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:50,714
"Would I know her, Louie?"
296
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,820
No, I don't believe you do,
297
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,788
but reiger might.
298
00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:00,691
I don't think he heard it.
299
00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:01,892
Wait a minute.
300
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:03,861
Whoa. Come on now.
We got to do it again.
301
00:16:03,897 --> 00:16:05,041
Come on. Hurry up.
Again?! Louie,
302
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,497
this is childish. Come on!
303
00:16:14,006 --> 00:16:15,940
"Say, Louie..."
304
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:19,444
Yes, Jeff?
305
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,612
"I hear you have
a date tonight."
306
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:22,780
Uh, yes, Jeff.
307
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,782
Well, I guess this
is where I came in.
308
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,551
Who have you got a
date with tonight?
309
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,519
Beat it. Beat it. Beat it.
310
00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:33,357
I'll give you a hint.
311
00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:35,793
The answer is right
under your nose,
312
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,829
but then again, what isn't?
313
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:43,134
All right,
I guess I should find out
314
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,469
how you feel about this
because, uh,
315
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:50,241
I remember once you got mad
316
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:52,043
because I used your comb.
317
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,514
What the hell are
you talking about?
318
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,749
Aha! Aha!
319
00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:01,285
Got your curiosity up
there, huh?
320
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:02,820
Oh, yes, oh, yes.
321
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,490
You're so sophisticated
and intelligent.
322
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,092
You go out with a
whole different class
323
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,461
of women than old Louie de
palma, huh?
324
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,699
Not necessarily.
325
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:17,401
This happens to be a woman
326
00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:19,870
that you've dated.
327
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:21,471
Louie, it's been a long day.
328
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:22,707
Will you cut the crap?
329
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:24,641
I've been out with
a lot of women,
330
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:25,876
and it's just possible
331
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,778
that you might have
dated one of them.
332
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,613
So, what's the big deal?
333
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,986
How big a deal would it be
334
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,322
if it was your ex-wife?
335
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,426
Hmm?
336
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,327
Phyllis?
337
00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:45,329
Hey, now, wait a minute!
338
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:46,764
Now, wait a minute! Whoa, whoa.
339
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:47,931
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
340
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,033
I don't want you to do
that, Louie.
341
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,402
Now, she's weak,
she's vulnerable,
342
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:53,871
and she might mistake
you for a human being.
343
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,038
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
344
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,206
Go easy, easy, easy.
345
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,541
Oh, what is going on here? Easy.
346
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,809
I'll tell you what's
347
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:00,422
going on here.
He's got a date with my ex-wife.
348
00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:03,214
Hey, Phyllis and I
are consenting adults,
349
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,383
and you have nothing
to say about it.
350
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,850
I am a busy man.
351
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:07,818
Jeff?
352
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:08,986
"Say, Louie,
353
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:10,154
I hear you have a date..."
354
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:11,855
No, no, no, no.
355
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:15,893
Oh, it sickens me to say this,
Alex, but, uh, he's right.
356
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,695
There's nothing you
can do about it.
357
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,146
Look, Phyllis...
Alex, what's wrong?
358
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:38,015
The doublemint sisters
kicked you out?
359
00:18:38,051 --> 00:18:41,185
Phyllis, you can't go
out with Louie de palma!
360
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:44,021
Alex,
what are you talking about?
361
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:46,023
I mean, Louie seems real nice.
362
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:49,560
I mean, I'll admit he won't
make anybody forget Paul Newman.
363
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:52,062
Phyllis... or Edwin Newman.
364
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:54,665
Phyllis... or Alfred e.
365
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:55,833
Phyllis!
366
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,968
Will you listen to me?
367
00:18:58,003 --> 00:19:00,103
Louie is a terrible,
rotten, low-life person,
368
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,872
and if you're using
Louie de palma
369
00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:03,719
to get over that Brazilian
ex-husband of yours,
370
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:04,975
then I shudder to think
371
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:07,210
who you're gonna use to
get over Louie de palma.
372
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,480
Alex, I don't know why
you're acting like this,
373
00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,248
but you're behaving
like a crazy person!
374
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,450
Phyllis,
everything I've said thus far
375
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,286
about Louie,
his mother would agree with.
376
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,587
In fact, I'm quoting her.
377
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,388
Alex, will you stop it now?
378
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:19,690
Just stop it.
379
00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,058
I'm a single person,
380
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:23,761
and there's a new
Phyllis to explore.
381
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:25,095
But-but-but phyl, but...
382
00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:26,831
Okay.
383
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,499
Now will you please save us
all any further embarrassment
384
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,302
and get into that bathroom
385
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:35,272
until my date and I have
left for our evening?
386
00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:37,708
You're right.
387
00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:38,909
I feel foolish.
388
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:40,744
I feel like I've
insulted my dignity.
389
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:43,280
I welcome the opportunity
to cower in your toilet.
390
00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,154
Hi, Phyllis.
391
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,388
Hi, Louie.
392
00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:52,957
I'll be ready in a minute.
393
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,424
Great!
394
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:57,561
'Cause have I got an
evening planned for us!
395
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,602
I already called room service,
396
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:10,307
and they are sending
up champagne...
397
00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:14,278
Canapés... and oxygen.
398
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:38,302
It's nice to see someone not
caught up in the exercise fads.
399
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:45,443
I have my own form of exercise.
400
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:47,044
Ee-ee, ee-ee, ee-ee.
401
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,279
Oh,
402
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:49,914
Alex!
403
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:52,249
Reiger!
404
00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:54,385
What are you,
some kind of weirdo?
405
00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:04,094
And I thought you two
wouldn't hit it off.
406
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,998
Well, I'll just leave you
and your gentleman caller
407
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:09,500
to explore the new Phyllis.
408
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:11,001
Alex, you can't go.
409
00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:12,269
You can't go.
410
00:21:12,304 --> 00:21:13,504
Why?
411
00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:15,005
I'm in the way here.
412
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,641
I mean, I can take a hint.
413
00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:19,310
Alex, Alex!
Okay, you were right.
414
00:21:19,345 --> 00:21:21,011
I'm sorry. I apologize, okay?
415
00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:22,179
You were right.
416
00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:25,015
You were real... wait a minute.
417
00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:27,284
Did you put him up to this?
418
00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:30,921
Wait a minute here.
419
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:34,090
Is this something
that you two cooked up
420
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,460
in that little garage there
421
00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:39,063
so you would have to
come in and rescue me?
422
00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:43,400
No, of course not.
423
00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:44,668
Oh, come on!
424
00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:46,703
No real person acts like that.
425
00:21:48,574 --> 00:21:51,041
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
426
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:52,810
Hey, wait a minute here.
427
00:21:52,845 --> 00:21:55,746
What is there,
some kind of weird place in Manhattan
428
00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:58,849
where you rent out these guys?
429
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,788
I-I'm starting to feel a
little self-conscious here.
430
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:14,465
Uh...
431
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:17,601
Excuse me, but, uh,
did it ever occur to you
432
00:22:17,636 --> 00:22:19,803
that our date was over?
433
00:22:21,808 --> 00:22:24,208
This is your fault, reiger!
434
00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:27,645
Because I didn't do
anything wrong this time.
435
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,814
You said you didn't
want to get involved.
436
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:33,183
And you end up walking
out of the bathroom.
437
00:22:33,218 --> 00:22:35,285
I mean, now, what-what...
What's going on here?
438
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:36,787
I don't understand.
439
00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:39,623
You don't understand because
you've never been married.
440
00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,458
You've never been engaged.
441
00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:44,094
You've never been invited to
a wedding for that matter.
442
00:22:44,129 --> 00:22:46,196
Now there's something
that happens to people
443
00:22:46,231 --> 00:22:48,732
when, for six years,
they go to bed together
444
00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:50,334
and they get up together,
445
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:52,169
who have some kind
of a connection
446
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:54,772
because they were married
and because they had a child.
447
00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:56,073
And if that's not true,
448
00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:57,908
then something's wrong
with you or life.
449
00:22:57,943 --> 00:23:00,410
I mean, something's wrong.
450
00:23:00,445 --> 00:23:02,913
You want to go out
and eat with me?
451
00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:07,184
Oh, Alex, you're so sweet.
452
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:09,586
And I really know
that you're worried
453
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:11,956
about just even going
on a date with me
454
00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:13,224
'cause you're afraid
455
00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:14,892
that suddenly I'll
drive you crazy,
456
00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:18,162
and then I'll be neurotic,
and I'll be crazy, you know,
457
00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:20,130
be demanding and...
458
00:23:22,368 --> 00:23:25,302
I just really would like
to put your mind at ease.
459
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:28,539
But I can't.
460
00:23:30,209 --> 00:23:32,209
Uh, uh, Phyllis? Phyllis?
461
00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:34,110
What?!
462
00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:39,082
I'll call you next week.
463
00:23:48,327 --> 00:23:50,260
Am I crazy?
464
00:23:50,295 --> 00:23:52,329
I get a kick out of that guy.
465
00:24:28,767 --> 00:24:30,267
Good night, Mr. Walters!
32253
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