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1
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,267
Latka!
2
00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:43,133
Oh, Louie, hello.
3
00:01:44,434 --> 00:01:46,667
Just the man I'm looking for.
4
00:01:46,701 --> 00:01:48,634
Do you have the correct time?
5
00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:50,100
My watch stopped.
6
00:01:50,133 --> 00:01:52,434
The correct time is
you're eight minutes late.
7
00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:53,501
Oh, thank you.
8
00:01:53,534 --> 00:01:54,834
Hold it, here, hold it.
9
00:01:54,868 --> 00:01:55,968
This is serious.
10
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,868
I hope you got a good
excuse why you're late.
11
00:01:57,901 --> 00:02:00,734
Well, do you think
that helping someone
12
00:02:00,767 --> 00:02:03,734
who was almost killed in
an automobile accident
13
00:02:03,767 --> 00:02:05,434
is a good excuse?
14
00:02:05,467 --> 00:02:06,200
No.
15
00:02:06,234 --> 00:02:09,300
Then you're going to hate mine.
16
00:02:09,334 --> 00:02:10,300
Hold it, hold it.
17
00:02:10,334 --> 00:02:11,801
I'll let you off
the hook this time
18
00:02:11,834 --> 00:02:13,367
'cause you're not usually late,
19
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:14,434
but get to work!
20
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:15,434
Okay.
21
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:17,934
Hey, latka, is everything okay?
22
00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:19,868
Oh, yeah, everything is fine.
23
00:02:19,901 --> 00:02:23,067
The reason I was late
is because I was dancing
24
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:25,267
around my apartment with joy.
25
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:27,434
Oh, yeah? Hey, what happened?
26
00:02:27,467 --> 00:02:29,667
My beloved grandmother died.
27
00:02:29,701 --> 00:02:31,267
That's good news?
28
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:33,300
No, that's terrible news.
29
00:02:33,334 --> 00:02:36,334
Bobby,
what kind of a person are you?
30
00:02:36,367 --> 00:02:37,567
No.
31
00:02:37,601 --> 00:02:39,567
The-the reason it's good news
32
00:02:39,601 --> 00:02:42,701
is because she left me
something very valuable
33
00:02:42,734 --> 00:02:43,701
in her will.
34
00:02:43,734 --> 00:02:45,267
Oooh.
35
00:02:45,300 --> 00:02:46,601
What? What?
36
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,868
Cookies.
37
00:02:52,033 --> 00:02:54,067
She left you cookies?
38
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:56,133
But not just any cookies.
39
00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:58,901
See, people used to
come from miles around
40
00:02:58,934 --> 00:03:00,868
just to eat her cookies.
41
00:03:00,901 --> 00:03:03,868
And so last night I
go to the post office
42
00:03:03,901 --> 00:03:05,901
and I pick up the recipe
43
00:03:05,934 --> 00:03:08,767
and the package
with the ingredients
44
00:03:08,801 --> 00:03:11,200
and I baked a batch.
45
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:13,033
You want to try?
46
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,567
Yeah.
47
00:03:14,601 --> 00:03:16,367
I love grandmothers' cookies.
48
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:17,701
I love them.
49
00:03:17,734 --> 00:03:19,767
Dig in, I hope you enjoy them.
50
00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,467
Well, enjoy.
51
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,834
Well?
52
00:03:47,868 --> 00:03:49,267
What do you say?
53
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:52,934
Well, they're, uh, not bad.
54
00:03:52,968 --> 00:03:54,467
Did you swallow yet?
55
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,434
Did you swallow?
56
00:03:59,467 --> 00:04:02,934
Mine seems to be getting larger.
57
00:04:02,968 --> 00:04:06,100
I feel like I'm going to be
chewing for the rest of my life.
58
00:04:06,133 --> 00:04:08,868
You mean, you don't like them?
59
00:04:08,901 --> 00:04:10,033
Well...
60
00:04:10,067 --> 00:04:12,234
It's just...
61
00:04:12,267 --> 00:04:13,400
It's just...
62
00:04:13,434 --> 00:04:15,267
It's just the first taste.
63
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:18,000
I mean, maybe tomorrow we
could have another bite.
64
00:04:18,033 --> 00:04:20,000
You don't like them.
65
00:04:20,033 --> 00:04:21,701
No, no, no. Latka.
66
00:04:21,734 --> 00:04:24,100
You know, tastes vary.
67
00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:26,934
Tastes very what?
68
00:04:26,968 --> 00:04:28,000
No, no, no.
69
00:04:28,033 --> 00:04:29,710
Latka, what I'm trying to say is
that, you know,
70
00:04:29,734 --> 00:04:30,701
maybe the people
71
00:04:30,734 --> 00:04:31,877
in your country would love them,
72
00:04:31,901 --> 00:04:33,376
but they might not taste
the same to the people
73
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,701
in our country.
74
00:04:34,734 --> 00:04:36,443
I mean, that's perfectly
understandable, don't you think?
75
00:04:36,467 --> 00:04:38,834
I think that the
people in America
76
00:04:38,868 --> 00:04:40,400
will love my cookies.
77
00:04:40,434 --> 00:04:42,801
And I think I am going to
sell them in the stores.
78
00:04:42,834 --> 00:04:44,367
That's it, latka.
79
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,934
I told you to get back to
work, you foreign dog.
80
00:04:47,968 --> 00:04:49,767
Now get back to work.
81
00:04:49,801 --> 00:04:51,434
What? Foreign dog?
82
00:04:51,467 --> 00:04:54,267
I don't have to
take this from you.
83
00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:56,234
I don't even need this job.
84
00:04:56,267 --> 00:04:58,067
I have the cookies.
85
00:04:58,100 --> 00:05:00,968
And I am going to
be rich and famous
86
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,133
just like the famous Amos...
87
00:05:03,167 --> 00:05:05,934
The chocolate chip
cookie tycoon.
88
00:05:05,968 --> 00:05:08,200
Oh, yeah?
Latka, I'm warning you.
89
00:05:08,234 --> 00:05:10,133
No, Louie, I'm warning you.
90
00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:12,934
You're warning me
when I'm warning you?
91
00:05:12,968 --> 00:05:14,367
I am warning you.
92
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,400
Yeah? You're warning me?
93
00:05:16,434 --> 00:05:18,067
Yes. I am quitting.
94
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,167
Oh, no, you're not, latka.
You're not going to quit,
95
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,501
because I'm going to fire you.
96
00:05:22,534 --> 00:05:24,701
You cannot fire me if
I am going to quit.
97
00:05:24,734 --> 00:05:27,167
No, no, no. You can't quit
because I'm firing you!
98
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,501
But you cannot fire
me if I quit first.
99
00:05:29,534 --> 00:05:30,868
I quit! You're fired!
100
00:05:30,901 --> 00:05:32,234
I said it first.
101
00:05:32,267 --> 00:05:33,000
No, you didn't.
102
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,067
I quit! You're fired!
103
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,400
I said it first again.
104
00:05:35,434 --> 00:05:37,701
It doesn't matter
who says it first.
105
00:05:37,734 --> 00:05:39,300
It's who says it loudest.
106
00:05:39,334 --> 00:05:40,634
You're fired!
107
00:05:40,667 --> 00:05:42,667
You're fired! You're fired!
You're fired!
108
00:05:42,701 --> 00:05:43,934
I quit! I quit! I quit!
109
00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:46,434
I can't hear you.
You're fired! You're fired!
110
00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:48,300
I can't hear you. I quit!
I quit! I quit!
111
00:05:48,334 --> 00:05:51,200
You're fired! You're fired!
You're fired!
112
00:05:51,234 --> 00:05:53,534
Okay.
113
00:05:53,567 --> 00:05:54,968
But I quit.
114
00:05:56,734 --> 00:05:58,634
You're fired.
115
00:06:05,734 --> 00:06:06,934
I'm fired.
116
00:06:06,968 --> 00:06:08,133
You quit!
117
00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:09,667
Thank you very much.
118
00:06:18,300 --> 00:06:20,701
How you doing, Jeff?
119
00:06:20,734 --> 00:06:22,501
The engine's back together.
120
00:06:22,534 --> 00:06:24,868
Got a few pieces left over.
121
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:30,868
Close enough.
122
00:06:30,901 --> 00:06:33,434
I'll give this cab to Wheeler.
123
00:06:34,968 --> 00:06:36,234
Louie.
124
00:06:36,267 --> 00:06:38,968
I don't know what I'm doing.
125
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,868
It's only temporary...
Just until I can find somebody
126
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,601
who will work as cheap
as the guy I fired.
127
00:06:44,634 --> 00:06:46,334
He quit!
128
00:06:50,901 --> 00:06:52,634
Hey, Lou, want to have
129
00:06:52,667 --> 00:06:54,167
one of latka's cookies?
130
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,801
I don't want any of
his crummy cookies
131
00:06:56,834 --> 00:07:00,234
and I don't his name mentioned
in this garage again.
132
00:07:00,267 --> 00:07:01,501
Why, Lou?
133
00:07:01,534 --> 00:07:03,067
You miss him?
134
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:06,067
I had gas I miss more
than the guy I fired.
135
00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:07,801
He quit!
136
00:07:12,334 --> 00:07:15,968
You know,
I'm really starting to like these.
137
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,934
I don't actually like them,
but they're fun to chew.
138
00:07:19,968 --> 00:07:21,534
Yeah, I know what you mean.
139
00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,234
They kind of grow on you.
140
00:07:23,267 --> 00:07:25,534
And they last forever
in your mouth.
141
00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:28,267
I put one on the
bedpost last night.
142
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:30,534
Started on it
again this morning.
143
00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:32,734
Grandma gravas'
cookies might catch on.
144
00:07:32,767 --> 00:07:36,033
I understand there are four
stores willing to try them out.
145
00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:38,234
Hmm? Yeah.
146
00:07:38,267 --> 00:07:40,000
Can you imagine latka rich?
147
00:07:43,601 --> 00:07:44,934
I'm back!
148
00:07:44,968 --> 00:07:47,400
Hey, Jim!
149
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:50,634
Hey, Jim, welcome back.
150
00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:52,567
So how was your trip?
151
00:07:52,601 --> 00:07:53,868
Ah, great.
152
00:07:53,901 --> 00:07:57,033
Omaha is lovely
this time of year.
153
00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:59,801
I thought you were
hitchhiking to Washington.
154
00:07:59,834 --> 00:08:03,601
I did too,
but I ended up in Omaha.
155
00:08:03,634 --> 00:08:07,300
I must have used
the wrong thumb.
156
00:08:07,334 --> 00:08:10,400
All right, let's get some
cabs on the road here.
157
00:08:10,434 --> 00:08:12,367
Nardo, 316!
158
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,400
Yeah, just a second.
159
00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:17,367
Wheeler, 441!
160
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,567
Banta, 221!
161
00:08:19,601 --> 00:08:21,234
Rieger, 544!
162
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:23,400
See you guys.
163
00:08:23,434 --> 00:08:24,934
Hey, Jim.
164
00:08:24,968 --> 00:08:25,968
Uh-huh?
165
00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:34,067
It's great to be back!
166
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:39,567
Well, boss...
167
00:08:39,601 --> 00:08:42,067
I'm back from my vacation.
168
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,067
You didn't happen to
run into your brains
169
00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:46,200
while you were out
there, did you?
170
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:49,100
No, but I wasn't really looking.
171
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:53,901
Well, I'll have a cab for you
172
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,400
in a minute, gulliver.
173
00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:56,767
Okay.
174
00:08:58,801 --> 00:09:01,100
What's all these cookies?
175
00:09:01,133 --> 00:09:03,934
They were baked
by a guy I fired.
176
00:09:03,968 --> 00:09:05,434
He quit!
177
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,701
Ooh!
178
00:09:12,734 --> 00:09:17,534
They got a nice little
surprise inside.
179
00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:20,067
What are you talking about?
180
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:22,634
Well, I could be wrong...
181
00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:25,167
But I detect something in here
182
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,634
that's a lot more
powerful than oatmeal.
183
00:09:30,534 --> 00:09:32,667
What's in them? What's in them?
184
00:09:32,701 --> 00:09:35,501
Well, let's check this out here.
185
00:09:47,501 --> 00:09:49,167
Coca leaves.
186
00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:52,033
Coca leaves?
187
00:09:52,067 --> 00:09:53,634
Uh-huh.
188
00:09:53,667 --> 00:09:55,343
You mean,
the stuff they make cocaine out of?
189
00:09:55,367 --> 00:09:57,467
Yeah.
190
00:09:57,501 --> 00:10:00,133
Yeah, from, uh...
191
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,567
South America.
192
00:10:16,534 --> 00:10:18,534
Peru, I believe.
193
00:10:27,701 --> 00:10:29,534
Southern Peru.
194
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,234
'74, before the rains.
195
00:10:45,167 --> 00:10:48,067
Poignant, but not overbearing.
196
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,000
Are you telling me
197
00:10:53,033 --> 00:10:55,734
that latka is selling
cookies with drugs in them?
198
00:10:55,767 --> 00:10:56,868
Yeah.
199
00:11:00,601 --> 00:11:03,801
Well, my duty as a
citizen is clear-cut.
200
00:11:03,834 --> 00:11:04,834
Yeah. Jeff?
201
00:11:04,868 --> 00:11:07,033
Get the police on the phone.
202
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,868
What do these, uh,
Coca leaves do to you?
203
00:11:09,901 --> 00:11:12,300
Well,
if you chew them for a while
204
00:11:12,334 --> 00:11:16,367
you get a feeling of euphoria,
205
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,901
increased energy,
206
00:11:17,934 --> 00:11:19,701
strength and stamina.
207
00:11:21,501 --> 00:11:26,400
It's also rumored to
heighten your sexual desires.
208
00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:30,634
And it makes you see beauty
209
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:33,901
in the most repulsive things.
210
00:11:50,934 --> 00:11:53,200
Did anyone ever tell you
211
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:56,968
that you have the
most adorable ear?
212
00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:05,267
Police are on the phone, Louie.
213
00:12:05,300 --> 00:12:08,167
Tell them to mind
their own business.
214
00:12:34,300 --> 00:12:36,400
Oh, Elaine?
215
00:12:38,567 --> 00:12:40,100
She's not here.
216
00:12:40,133 --> 00:12:41,300
What you got there, Lou?
217
00:12:41,334 --> 00:12:42,534
Ah, nothing.
218
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:49,200
Hey, Lou!
219
00:12:49,234 --> 00:12:51,801
Have you been noticing anything
strange about me lately?
220
00:12:51,834 --> 00:12:53,534
Uh... strange?
221
00:12:53,567 --> 00:12:54,868
Yeah.
222
00:12:54,901 --> 00:12:56,601
No, no, no.
223
00:12:56,634 --> 00:12:57,868
Nothing strange.
224
00:12:57,901 --> 00:12:59,133
I don't know.
225
00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:02,467
Feel like i'm sort of... happy.
226
00:13:02,501 --> 00:13:04,901
I got all this energy, you know?
227
00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:06,133
Uh-huh.
228
00:13:06,167 --> 00:13:07,667
So last night
229
00:13:07,701 --> 00:13:09,634
I had a little trouble
falling asleep,
230
00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:11,133
so I wrote an opera.
231
00:13:14,501 --> 00:13:16,501
An-an opera?
232
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:19,067
Yeah. I never thought about
writing an opera before,
233
00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:20,534
but it sounded like
it would be fun.
234
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,267
It was. I'm going to
write another one tonight.
235
00:13:26,934 --> 00:13:28,701
It just looks like, to me
236
00:13:28,734 --> 00:13:30,968
that you're in a good mood.
237
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,100
Yeah, well, maybe.
238
00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:34,367
I wonder if any of the
others are feeling this way?
239
00:13:50,234 --> 00:13:52,167
I haven't noticed anything.
240
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,701
Hi, guys.
241
00:13:58,033 --> 00:14:00,434
Hey, Bob!
242
00:14:00,467 --> 00:14:01,634
What are you doing?
243
00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:02,767
Huh?
244
00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,434
What are you doing?
245
00:14:04,467 --> 00:14:06,067
Afternoon of the faun.
246
00:14:09,667 --> 00:14:12,767
There is definitely something
weird going on here.
247
00:14:12,801 --> 00:14:14,334
Hello.
248
00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:15,534
Oh, Elaine.
249
00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:16,734
Listen, uh...
250
00:14:16,767 --> 00:14:18,634
Uh... nardo.
251
00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:19,934
Have a cookie?
252
00:14:19,968 --> 00:14:22,300
Oh, yes, thank you.
253
00:14:22,334 --> 00:14:23,467
I've run out.
254
00:14:23,501 --> 00:14:25,067
Louie, I've been having
255
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:27,534
the most incredible
perceptions today.
256
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:31,367
Do you realize the entire human
experience of the universe
257
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,901
can be summed up
in one sentence?
258
00:14:33,934 --> 00:14:35,501
Do I! Hold that thought.
259
00:14:35,534 --> 00:14:38,934
Why don't you come
on into my cage here
260
00:14:38,968 --> 00:14:41,200
and we'll talk about that...
261
00:14:41,234 --> 00:14:42,801
And sit right there...
262
00:14:42,834 --> 00:14:47,400
And we'll have some cookies...
263
00:14:47,434 --> 00:14:49,400
And a touch of the bubbly
264
00:14:49,434 --> 00:14:53,734
to wash them down your
pretty little gullet.
265
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,300
No, no, no, Louie.
266
00:14:55,334 --> 00:14:56,634
Louie, I'm serious.
267
00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:59,334
I don't know why I
never saw it before.
268
00:14:59,367 --> 00:15:02,334
I have verifiable proof
of the existence of god.
269
00:15:02,367 --> 00:15:04,968
Later, later...
This stuff gets flat.
270
00:15:14,033 --> 00:15:17,200
Damn it, I'm telling you
there's something wrong here.
271
00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:20,601
Bobby Wheeler is turning
into a gazelle...
272
00:15:20,634 --> 00:15:23,567
Elaine nardo is in the
chamber of horrors...
273
00:15:23,601 --> 00:15:25,767
Here's the weirdest
thing of all.
274
00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:28,968
I'm standing here in the
garage on my day off.
275
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,567
And I came in here just
because I wanted, uh...
276
00:15:31,601 --> 00:15:34,534
Some more cookies...
277
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,367
Hey, Lou!
278
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,868
There's something wrong
with these cookies.
279
00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:40,767
Rieger,
you're being a real drip.
280
00:15:40,801 --> 00:15:42,701
No, I'm telling you,
Lou, it's the cookies;
281
00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:44,334
They're doing something to us.
282
00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:47,367
No, everybody's just
having a good time.
283
00:15:49,634 --> 00:15:51,400
Look at banta, here.
284
00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:52,701
He's eaten a billion of them.
285
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:53,976
There's nothing the
matter with him.
286
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,367
Tony, how you feeling?
287
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:56,467
I'm fine.
288
00:15:56,501 --> 00:15:58,000
Eh!
289
00:15:58,033 --> 00:16:00,000
Ah, well, maybe you're right.
290
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:02,634
Maybe I am imagining it.
291
00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:04,234
Anybody want any coffee?
292
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:05,868
Yeah, I'll have some.
293
00:16:53,367 --> 00:16:55,033
Whoo!
294
00:17:05,367 --> 00:17:06,667
Sixteen.
295
00:17:10,934 --> 00:17:12,567
Come in.
296
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,300
Latka...
297
00:17:19,334 --> 00:17:20,634
Hello, Alex.
298
00:17:20,667 --> 00:17:21,767
How are you?
299
00:17:21,801 --> 00:17:23,100
Fine. Lat...
300
00:17:24,801 --> 00:17:26,367
About 24 bags by tomorrow...
301
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:29,634
Supermarket, you know...
Look, latka...
302
00:17:29,667 --> 00:17:31,834
Isn't it wonderful
how so much success
303
00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:33,743
I'm having with these cookies?
Everyone loves them so much!
304
00:17:33,767 --> 00:17:36,133
You know,
and I'm going to be rich and famous
305
00:17:36,167 --> 00:17:37,467
like famous Amos, you know,
306
00:17:37,501 --> 00:17:39,200
but, you know,
I would trade it all
307
00:17:39,234 --> 00:17:42,167
if I would only stop
talking for one minute.
308
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,400
Latka, latka, stop.
309
00:17:45,434 --> 00:17:46,801
Latka, listen to me.
310
00:17:46,834 --> 00:17:48,167
There's a drug in those cookies.
311
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:52,334
No...
312
00:17:52,367 --> 00:17:53,667
No.
313
00:17:53,701 --> 00:17:55,300
No... Now, latka,
314
00:17:55,334 --> 00:17:57,133
Jim says there's
Coca leaves in them.
315
00:17:57,167 --> 00:17:58,133
What?
316
00:17:58,167 --> 00:17:59,133
Coca leaves.
317
00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:01,167
Coca leaves?
318
00:18:03,601 --> 00:18:06,901
Oh... that must be
the secret ingredient.
319
00:18:06,934 --> 00:18:08,100
Right.
320
00:18:08,133 --> 00:18:10,501
That means it's
going to ruin me.
321
00:18:10,534 --> 00:18:12,834
I will not be able to
sell my cookies anymore.
322
00:18:12,868 --> 00:18:14,234
Well, I'm sorry about that.
323
00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:16,400
Now I cannot do it
and my dream is gone.
324
00:18:16,434 --> 00:18:17,767
Oh. No.
325
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,968
This explains why my
grandmother's cookies
326
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,901
were so popular with
musicians in my country.
327
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,734
Latka,
you think your grandmother knew
328
00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:40,968
that there was a drug
in these cookies?
329
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,834
Oh, no, no, no.
She would not know that.
330
00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:45,467
She was a very good woman, Alex.
331
00:18:45,501 --> 00:18:47,968
A very busy, good woman.
332
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,300
She was always knitting
doilies, you know?
333
00:18:50,334 --> 00:18:52,000
A doily here,
a doily there, yeah.
334
00:18:52,033 --> 00:18:53,367
Doilies everywhere.
335
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,300
"Merry Christmas, latka.
Here is a doily for you."
336
00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:58,100
Oh, everywhere you
look is doilies.
337
00:18:58,133 --> 00:19:00,200
I'd like to give you a
doily, you old bag!
338
00:19:00,234 --> 00:19:01,334
I'll give you a doily!
339
00:19:01,367 --> 00:19:03,234
I'll give you a doily!
340
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,234
Latka, latka, latka, calm down.
Calm down.
341
00:19:05,267 --> 00:19:08,701
Oh, oh, oh,
but what is happening to me, Alex?
342
00:19:08,734 --> 00:19:11,534
I used to be such a sweet man.
343
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,667
I used to be so cute
you could eat me up.
344
00:19:14,701 --> 00:19:15,868
Yes, yes, yes.
345
00:19:15,901 --> 00:19:17,109
I know you were.
I know you were.
346
00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:20,501
But that's what happens to
you when you take that drug.
347
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:23,667
Really?
348
00:19:23,701 --> 00:19:25,367
That's why you got to kick it
349
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,033
right now, right tonight.
350
00:19:27,067 --> 00:19:28,701
You hear me?
You got to get rid of this.
351
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,367
How am I going to do it?
352
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:31,677
Well, look,
first of all we got...
353
00:19:31,701 --> 00:19:32,901
No more cookies. Yeah?
354
00:19:32,934 --> 00:19:35,067
We're going to get rid
of all these cookies.
355
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:36,067
That's a good idea.
356
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:37,200
We'll start with this one.
357
00:19:37,234 --> 00:19:39,033
No, no, no.
358
00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:41,033
Latka, sit down. Sit down.
359
00:19:41,067 --> 00:19:42,434
Listen to me. Look...
360
00:19:42,467 --> 00:19:46,634
It's going to be a very
tough night for you.
361
00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:47,976
I mean,
you're going to get nervous,
362
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,009
you're going to get anxious.
363
00:19:49,033 --> 00:19:50,067
You might even get sick.
364
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:54,067
You might even have
hallucinations, delirium.
365
00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:55,910
Latka, you're looking at the
worst night of your life.
366
00:19:55,934 --> 00:19:57,276
Now, I don't want you
to worry about it.
367
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:58,701
I'm going to be right here
368
00:19:58,734 --> 00:20:00,868
going through the
whole thing with you.
369
00:20:00,901 --> 00:20:02,767
Thank you very much.
370
00:20:02,801 --> 00:20:05,667
Alex, all my dreams are gone.
371
00:20:05,701 --> 00:20:08,567
I thought I was going
to be rich and famous
372
00:20:08,601 --> 00:20:10,567
like the famous Amos. See?
373
00:20:10,601 --> 00:20:12,033
But now is nothing.
374
00:20:12,067 --> 00:20:17,767
I thought I was going to
finally get out of the garage.
375
00:20:17,801 --> 00:20:19,567
You know,
I did not want to be rich
376
00:20:19,601 --> 00:20:22,033
for the same reasons that
other men want to be rich.
377
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:24,043
Oh, you mean not for the
houses, the cars or the women?
378
00:20:24,067 --> 00:20:28,100
Oh, maybe it was
the same reasons.
379
00:20:30,901 --> 00:20:33,067
But you know, I want to think...
380
00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,400
But... you know...
381
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:35,734
You know...
382
00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:37,043
Let's try to get some
sleep, all right?
383
00:20:37,067 --> 00:20:38,376
I'll try.
I don't know if I could.
384
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,834
I'm going to stay up and
watch you all night, okay?
385
00:20:41,868 --> 00:20:43,234
All right, thank you.
386
00:21:15,767 --> 00:21:17,434
Famous Amos.
387
00:21:18,601 --> 00:21:21,133
I... I don't believe it.
388
00:21:21,167 --> 00:21:24,434
What's happening, latka?
389
00:21:24,467 --> 00:21:25,801
I don't know.
390
00:21:25,834 --> 00:21:28,467
What's happening to you?
391
00:21:28,501 --> 00:21:31,067
Boy. Welcome to my home.
392
00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:35,167
Thank you,
but I'm not really here.
393
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:36,534
You're hallucinating.
394
00:21:36,567 --> 00:21:37,834
Oh...
395
00:21:37,868 --> 00:21:39,033
I'm only in your mind.
396
00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:41,133
Well, then welcome to my mind.
397
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:42,934
If I knew you were coming
398
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:45,133
I would have
cleaned it up a bit.
399
00:21:45,167 --> 00:21:49,934
Listen, man,
I heard what happened to your cookies.
400
00:21:49,968 --> 00:21:51,667
It's a tough break.
401
00:21:51,701 --> 00:21:54,267
Oh, that's nice of you to say.
402
00:21:54,300 --> 00:21:57,334
I came by because I
wanted to say that
403
00:21:57,367 --> 00:22:01,300
success, fame, fortune...
All that stuff...
404
00:22:01,334 --> 00:22:03,334
It's truly overrated.
405
00:22:03,367 --> 00:22:04,534
Oh.
406
00:22:04,567 --> 00:22:05,934
I wanted to tell you
407
00:22:05,968 --> 00:22:08,534
that the really
important things in life
408
00:22:08,567 --> 00:22:10,133
are the simple things.
409
00:22:10,167 --> 00:22:11,567
Oh, the simple things.
410
00:22:11,601 --> 00:22:13,234
A sunset. Yeah.
411
00:22:13,267 --> 00:22:16,200
The smelling of a flower. Mmm...
412
00:22:16,234 --> 00:22:19,767
I'd like to tell you all
of those things, latka,
413
00:22:19,801 --> 00:22:21,601
but I can't. Why?
414
00:22:21,634 --> 00:22:22,667
'Cause it's a crock.
415
00:22:22,701 --> 00:22:23,667
A crock?
416
00:22:23,701 --> 00:22:24,701
That's right, a crock.
417
00:22:24,734 --> 00:22:27,367
Hey, man, success is wonderful.
Yeah?
418
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,133
Cash is out of sight. Oh...
419
00:22:30,167 --> 00:22:32,701
Do whatever you can
to be successful
420
00:22:32,734 --> 00:22:34,000
'cause it's great. Great.
421
00:22:34,033 --> 00:22:38,167
And if it happens
overnight, it's even better.
422
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,567
Hey, your cookies went down the tubes...
big deal.
423
00:22:40,601 --> 00:22:41,567
Big deal.
424
00:22:41,601 --> 00:22:42,901
Try cupcakes.
425
00:22:42,934 --> 00:22:43,934
Try jelly rolls.
426
00:22:43,968 --> 00:22:45,534
Aluminum siding.
427
00:22:45,567 --> 00:22:46,734
Aluminum siding.
428
00:22:46,767 --> 00:22:47,934
What's the difference?
429
00:22:47,968 --> 00:22:49,667
Nothing at all.
430
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:52,434
Just get rich.
431
00:22:52,467 --> 00:22:54,267
These are wonderful words.
432
00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:55,743
Man, I just want to try to
help, you know?
433
00:22:55,767 --> 00:22:56,734
Well, thank you very much.
434
00:22:56,767 --> 00:22:57,767
Give me five.
435
00:22:59,968 --> 00:23:01,667
Keep the change.
436
00:23:14,467 --> 00:23:15,901
Bye-bye.
437
00:23:15,934 --> 00:23:18,234
Bye-bye, famous Amos.
438
00:23:18,267 --> 00:23:21,567
Thank you for the hallucination.
439
00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:23,234
It was wonderful.
440
00:23:23,267 --> 00:23:26,067
Maybe we do it again sometime.
441
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:27,267
Oh, boy.
442
00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:28,601
Alex. Alex, wake up.
443
00:23:28,634 --> 00:23:29,868
Alex, wake up. Hmm?
444
00:23:29,901 --> 00:23:32,200
I have something to tell you.
445
00:23:32,234 --> 00:23:35,868
I just found out something
very important about myself.
446
00:23:35,901 --> 00:23:38,367
Alex, I want to be
richer than anything.
447
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,901
I want to be richer
than the joneses.
448
00:23:40,934 --> 00:23:43,734
I want to make lots of
money, as much as I can.
449
00:23:43,767 --> 00:23:45,434
I want to be rolling in money.
450
00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:48,267
Alex...
451
00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:50,934
You know something?
452
00:23:50,968 --> 00:23:53,367
I just became an American.
453
00:24:31,167 --> 00:24:32,734
Night, Mr. Walters.
30148
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