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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,373
[ whistling sprightly tune ]
2
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:13,347
Starring andy griffith...
3
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:15,616
With ronny howard...
4
00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:18,352
Also starring don knotts.
5
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,758
Sheriff taylor?
6
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,360
Oh, morning, miss biggs.
7
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,396
I won't waste words, sheriff,
But I just had
8
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:30,464
The most frightening experience
Of my life.
9
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:32,133
What in the world happened?
10
00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,501
I was driving along highway 6
11
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,269
Within the speed limit of 35
12
00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:37,838
When a car doing at least 45,
50, passed me
13
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,373
And almost ran me off the road.
14
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,808
Almost ran me off the road,
Sheriff.
15
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,510
It was going so fast.
16
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,645
Take it easy, miss biggs.
Let's get all the facts now.
17
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,247
Did you get his license number?
18
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,382
Well, it was a woman.
That's what it was.
19
00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:50,184
It was a woman
Driving that car.
20
00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,452
Good. Good. Good.
21
00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,454
Now, what about
The license number?
22
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:56,090
She was wearing a green hat
Trimmed with pink baby roses
23
00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:58,759
And a beige cloth coat with
Buttons with fur.
24
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,362
Like my sister tilly has
On her jacket.
25
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,264
-you know my sister, don't you?
-no, ma'am.
26
00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:04,732
The tall woman
With the long teeth.
27
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,601
You know, that all started
With a gum condition.
28
00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,537
You know how she got
That gum condition?
29
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,839
Well, daddy took down to this
Dentist in nashville,
30
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,107
And he wasn't any good.
31
00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:14,508
He wasn't any good at all.
32
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:16,810
He had an office
In the back of a store.
33
00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:18,379
Now, would you trust a dentist
34
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,680
That has an office in the back
Of a store?
35
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,615
No, ma'am. Now --
36
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:24,118
And poor tilly, she's been
Suffering all these years
37
00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:25,586
With these long teeth.
38
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,288
You know what they used to call
Her in school?
39
00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:28,589
No, ma'am.
40
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:29,857
-the beaver.
-oh, I'm sorry.
41
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,792
Now, what about
This woman's speed?
42
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,627
Oh, the way that woman drove.
43
00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:36,464
Why, there ought to be a law
Against that.
44
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,699
There is, miss biggs. There is.
And we'll --
45
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,501
Imagine wearing a green hat
And a beige coat.
46
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:41,669
She's got to be insane.
47
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,671
People can't drive
These days.
48
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,173
Oh, barney, I just had the most
Frightening experience
49
00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:46,440
Of my life.
50
00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:47,808
I'll tell him about it,
Miss biggs.
51
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,410
It was a woman speeder.
52
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,878
She was wearing a coat
Like my sister tilly,
53
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,313
You know, tilly the beaver.
54
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,448
Yes, ma'am.
Thank you for coming.
55
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:55,816
Bye.
56
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:58,319
What was that all about?
57
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,721
A speeder up on highway 6.
58
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,523
Oh, yeah?
59
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,192
Want me to take the squad car
And get out on the stretch
60
00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:05,259
And just take a look-see?
61
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,527
No. I need the car.
62
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,229
I got to go up
To the millstone farm.
63
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,264
You know, that ain't the first
Complaint we've had
64
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:11,565
About that stretch
On highway 6.
65
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:12,933
We ought to do something
About it.
66
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,535
What can we do?
67
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,870
We ought to have a constant
Highway patrol,
68
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,307
Somebody to regularly cruise
The area.
69
00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:20,874
Well, we only got the one car.
70
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,676
I'd be glad to do it.
71
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:25,646
Set up a checkpoint, nip this
Speeding right in the bud.
72
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,581
Yeah, but we just got
The one car.
73
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:30,218
Just a few miles out, set up
A checkpoint chickie,
74
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:31,752
And just nail them.
75
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:34,622
Barney, are you listening?
We've only got one car.
76
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,558
[ sighs ] Boy, it's the same
The world over.
77
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:40,394
Police departments
Are the lowest-budgeted
78
00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:42,830
Underdog public servants
Of them all.
79
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,632
But it's thank you,
Johnny shafto,
80
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,200
When the guns begin to shoot.
81
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:51,205
Well, we do the best we can.
I'll see ya.
82
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:54,242
[ door opens, closes ]
83
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,817
Hi, ope.
84
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,419
Hi, pa.
85
00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:07,555
Where is barney?
86
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:08,722
I don't know, pa.
87
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,891
He ain't been here
Since I come in.
88
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,427
Is that the wood-burning set
You got for your birthday?
89
00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:16,364
Uh-huh.
90
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:18,566
-ope?
-in a minute, pa.
91
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,568
I'm just now coming around
The top of my "E."
92
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,670
You're filling the office
With smoke.
93
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,805
I'll be finished in just
A minute, pa.
94
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,874
Look.
95
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,277
I'm gonna put my name
And the date on here.
96
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:31,645
And years from now when
We're all dead and gone
97
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:32,913
And mayberry is a big city,
98
00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:34,882
People will know
That I burned my name
99
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,950
Into a piece of wood
On this here day.
100
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,786
Hmm.
101
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:41,955
Will it say you made your pa's
Eyes all red and irritated?
102
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,724
Gee, pa, I'm sorry.
103
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,327
You better take your
Wood-burning work on home, ope.
104
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,861
I got a lot to do today.
105
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:48,996
-okay, pa.
-there you are.
106
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,498
-don't burn yourself.
-I won't.
107
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,600
Okay.
108
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,003
-abyssinia. [I'll be seeing ya]
-see you samoa. [some more]
109
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,406
-hi, barney.
-hi, ope.
110
00:03:58,439 --> 00:03:59,673
[ door closes ]
111
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:00,974
Hi, barney.
112
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,981
I just got rid of opie
And his toys.
113
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,550
Now here you come with yours.
114
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,951
What is all that junk?
115
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,787
I went to the war surplus
Auction in mt. Pilot.
116
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,356
This is only part of it.
117
00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,024
Just wait till you see.
Wait till you see.
118
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,826
Barney, I'm up to my ears
In work.
119
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:21,529
Come on. Come on outside.
I want to show you something.
120
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,731
Come on. Come on.
Come on.
121
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,800
What do you got out there?
More junk?
122
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,403
Will you reserve judgment
Just this one time?
123
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:30,771
Will you reserve judgment?
124
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,706
[ crowd murmuring ]
125
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,875
All right, men!
Move it away from there!
126
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,544
Come on! Let's go!
Break it up!
127
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,979
Come on!
128
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,482
What in the world is that?
129
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,717
Is this the answer to our
Problems or isn't it?
130
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,319
Huh?
131
00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:47,588
This mechanically perfect
Rj 300 motorcycle --
132
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,757
That's official
Army nomenclature --
133
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,759
Is, as of now,
An official part
134
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,094
Of the mayberry sheriff
Department's rolling stock.
135
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:55,796
-what?
-well, don't you get it?
136
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,498
Now I can cover highway 6.
137
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,967
You know, nail them speeders,
Checkpoint chickie.
138
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,502
Now wait a minute.
139
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:02,936
You said yourself we don't
Patrol enough
140
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,905
Because we only have
The one squad car.
141
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,674
I know.
142
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:09,076
With you busy with the squad car
On the other side of town,
143
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,711
-I can cover highway 6.
-barney.
144
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,413
To say nothing
Of the other odd jobs
145
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,014
That can be taken care of
Around town.
146
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,116
What's the sidecar for?
147
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,785
Are you kidding?
148
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,087
That's to carry fire-fighting
Equipment,
149
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,655
Guns and ammunition.
150
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,791
Room for another deputy
In case of a raid.
151
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,860
Going back and forth
To the store.
152
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,529
Uh-huh.
153
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,063
Besides, that's the way it came.
154
00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:31,899
Well, barney, I don't think --
155
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:35,469
Look, I promise I'm not going to
Make a big thing out of this.
156
00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:37,938
It's just an extra vehicle
To get me around
157
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,840
When you're busy
With the squad car.
158
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,643
No fuss.
No big deal.
159
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,345
You won't even know I'm in town.
160
00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,984
I'll know all right.
161
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:12,139
[ laughter ]
162
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:14,742
Get a horse, barney.
163
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,810
Oh, why don't you...
164
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,888
Mounted patrol checking in.
165
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,824
[ chuckling ]
166
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,727
Well, how you doing,
Baron von richthofen?
167
00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,529
Come on, ange.
168
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,566
I can expect that from them
Ignorant laypersons outside
169
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:39,800
But not from you.
170
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:42,670
Well, you got to admit
That that outfit
171
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:45,773
Ain't exactly what you
Call inconspicuous.
172
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,174
Do you have to wear all that?
173
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,977
Andy, every piece of equipment
And wardrobe
174
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,612
Has a specific function.
175
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:52,880
Helmet -- anti-crash.
176
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,516
Goggles -- anti-foreign objects
In eyes.
177
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,084
That is, gravel and/or bugs.
178
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,620
I see.
179
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,155
What's them leather
Gauntlets for?
180
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,558
To protect you from dogs
That think you look funny?
181
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,065
I'm sorry, barney.
I'm sorry.
182
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,635
I guess all that stuff
Is necessary
183
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:17,137
On a high-speed
Motorcycle like that.
184
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,673
Good-looking helmet.
185
00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:22,643
What do you think?
186
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,478
What do you think?
187
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:32,119
Don't wear my hat, ange.
188
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,854
What?
189
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,188
Don't wear my hat.
190
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,758
Well, I was just trying it on.
191
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,026
I can't stand to wear a hat
192
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,094
After it's been
On somebody else's head.
193
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,597
Oh. I'm sorry.
194
00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:44,898
My mother was the same way.
195
00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:46,233
She just couldn't stand
To wear a hat
196
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,035
After it's been
On somebody else's head.
197
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,170
I remember that
About your mother.
198
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:53,173
I just wanted a few days
To prove to you
199
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,643
How valuable this
Motorcycle can be to us.
200
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:58,812
Yeah, well, all right.
All right.
201
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:01,281
To show you
There's no hard feelings,
202
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,818
I'll tell what you I'll do,
I'll take you to lunch.
203
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,587
-tell what you I'll do --
-no, no, no, no.
204
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:09,657
-I'll get the tip, too.
-that's not what I meant.
205
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,925
-I'm going to drive us there.
-no, you're not.
206
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:15,696
Big fellow, you're going
Sidecar express to the diner.
207
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,631
Well --
208
00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:21,969
Oh.
209
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,103
What's the matter?
210
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,072
I don't know.
I just --
211
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:29,142
I don't have a jacket or a
Helmet or goggles or anything.
212
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,779
You'll be in the sidecar.
Who's gonna know?
213
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,587
-howdy, boys.
-hi, sheriff.
214
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:43,023
Hey.
That's nice sign work.
215
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,125
Charlie phelps copied it
Off the squad car.
216
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:46,727
That's good.
217
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,862
Say, sheriff, if you fill it up
With water,
218
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,864
You can take a bath
Along the way.
219
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:53,634
I guess so.
220
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:57,605
[ engine sputters ]
221
00:08:57,638 --> 00:09:00,841
[ engine turns over ]
222
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,342
You ready?!
223
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,177
Let her rip!
224
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:07,881
[ laughter ]
225
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,863
All right!
Beat it! Beat it!
226
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,165
I'm within my rights to give
Each and every one of you
227
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,100
A ticket for loitering,
Illegal assembly,
228
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:28,936
And tampering
With official equipment.
229
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:31,304
Now break it up
And beat it! Go on!
230
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:34,975
Barney?
231
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,109
No-good loafers.
232
00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:37,845
Barney, if you keep this cycle,
233
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:40,213
I'm afraid you're in
For a lot more of that.
234
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:43,016
Now, why don't you make life
Easier for you and me
235
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,284
And just get rid of it?
236
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:45,853
No!
237
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,821
Every thinking pioneer
And inventor
238
00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:49,923
Has suffered the same
Kind of ridicule.
239
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:52,225
It's right there
In your history books, andy.
240
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,827
Take alexander graham bell,
241
00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:56,163
People laughed at him
Right over the telephone.
242
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,031
Wilbur and orville.
243
00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,033
People practically laughed them
Right off wright air force base.
244
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:03,370
They have to be shown!
245
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,072
Barney?
246
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,908
Do yourself a favor
And just get rid of it now.
247
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,678
Andy, you promised.
You promised.
248
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:14,114
All right.
I promised.
249
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,917
But don't spend too much time
In town.
250
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,652
Go way out on highway 6
251
00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:20,988
And look for a green hat
With pink roses on it.
252
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,823
Mounted patrol,
Wilco and out.
253
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,357
We're not talking on the radio.
254
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,193
Well, we're going to get one
One of these days.
255
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,961
I'm going to another auction
Next week.
256
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:30,898
Well, until we do, how about
Just saying, "Okay, andy"?
257
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:31,999
10-4.
258
00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:58,692
What's wrong?
259
00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,260
Let me see your operator's
License, please.
260
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,428
What did I do?
261
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:03,296
Operator's license.
262
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:06,199
[ sniffs ]
263
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:08,802
Edgar j. Masters, huh?
264
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:11,872
Now will you please tell me
What I did wrong?
265
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:15,008
Well, eddie, I watched you doing
40 miles per hour
266
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,343
In a 35-mile zone.
267
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,178
Now, subtracting the latter
From the former,
268
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,013
That would leave you
With a violation
269
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,481
Of about 5 miles per hour,
Right?
270
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,116
Right. I can't deny that.
271
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:24,985
But we've always had
An understanding about it.
272
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,788
We need that extra 5 miles an
Hour to get over turner's grade.
273
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,757
-uh-huh.
-well, I'll tell you, eddie,
274
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:32,960
I let do you 40 today,
You'll do 45 tomorrow.
275
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:36,229
I let do you 45 tomorrow,
You do 50 the day after that.
276
00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:38,031
You do 50 the day after that,
277
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,433
You'll do 55 the day
After that.
278
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,269
Then if you can do 55 --
279
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,404
All right.
I get the idea.
280
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,406
Well, this is intended
As a warning.
281
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,209
Don't let it happen again
Or you might risk a citation.
282
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,745
This is merely to let you know
That from now on
283
00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:53,847
This road is under
Constant surveillance.
284
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,983
-yes, sir.
-okay, eddie, move her out.
285
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,919
Wait! Hold it!
286
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,796
Welcome to checkpoint checkie.
287
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,136
Hey, barn.
288
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:18,005
Ange.
289
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,377
Mounted patrol checking in.
290
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:27,014
Hmm.
291
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:29,282
You know, ange,
It's a great feeling
292
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:31,118
When you get out on that cycle
293
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,153
And go racing down
The highway.
294
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:37,090
You know, it's just me
And the wind and the wheel.
295
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:38,926
It's really something.
296
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,228
[ sighs ]
297
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,063
You know something I found out?
298
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,866
If you ride into the wind
With your mouth open
299
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:48,969
And you put your tongue up
On the roof of your mouth,
300
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,537
It's impossible
301
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,439
To pronounce a word that starts
With the letter "S."
302
00:12:56,977 --> 00:13:00,547
You didn't let anybody see you
Riding around on that thing
303
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,149
With your mouth open?
304
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:06,386
Nobody saw me. You think
I'm crazy or something?
305
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,088
Where you been?
306
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,290
I was out on highway 6.
307
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:13,160
Gave out 11 speed warnings.
308
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,128
Who is doing all the speeding?
309
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,830
-el truckos.
-what?
310
00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:19,432
Yeah, every one of them was
Exceeding set speed limit
311
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,534
By from 3 to 5
Miles per hour.
312
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,036
I warned them.
313
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:26,173
I wish you hadn't done that.
314
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,441
Andy, I know what
You're gonna say --
315
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,578
"Give them the extra 5.
Let them go 40 in a 35 zone."
316
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:34,214
But you and I both know
What will happen.
317
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:37,317
You give them 40, they'll go 45.
You give them 45 --
318
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:40,053
Barney, it's just that truck
Drivers have a little trouble
319
00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:41,288
Getting over turner's grade
320
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,090
If they don't get a fair run
At it.
321
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:45,893
Now, we've always taken that
Into consideration.
322
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:48,896
I wish you hadn't jumped all
Over them with warnings.
323
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:52,199
Andy, that stretch of highway
Is posted with big 35s.
324
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:55,635
Now, if you don't want me to
Uphold the law, just say so.
325
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,604
No. No.
It's just that I --
326
00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:00,273
Well, I wish you'd do things
In moderation.
327
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:03,610
Now, we've always given the
Truck drivers the extra 5 miles.
328
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,279
And I wish that
You'd just give it to them.
329
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,581
All right.
You know what will happen?
330
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,951
You give them 40,
They'll take 45.
331
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,552
You give them 45, they'll --
332
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,070
Pa?
333
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,905
Huh?
334
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,140
You asleep?
335
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:36,376
Now and then.
336
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,378
-me too.
-andy.
337
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,580
Those trucks are going to keep
The whole town awake.
338
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,615
I expect so, aunt bee.
339
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:45,218
They sure are making a terrible
Lot of noise, pa.
340
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:47,020
How come?
341
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:49,156
I have a feeling it's their way
Of saying hello to barney
342
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,323
And his new motorcycle.
343
00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:52,059
Goodness.
344
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:55,228
Yep. I expect things are going
To be a little different
345
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,529
For the next few days.
346
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,298
[ horn honks ]
347
00:14:58,331 --> 00:14:59,366
[ engine revs ]
348
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,201
Good night, andy!
349
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,079
Yeah, I expect things are gonna
Be a little different.
350
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:55,088
Give me that stick!
Give me that stick!
351
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:02,095
Don't you know enough
To stick your hand out
352
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,263
When you move out in traffic?
353
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,431
What's the matter with you?
354
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,468
[ screaming ]
355
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,370
What is the matter with you?!
356
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,372
Jaywalking.
You were jaywalking, aunt bee.
357
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,007
Now, I seen you.
Now watch it.
358
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:16,276
Jaywalking?!
359
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,412
[ all yelling at once ]
360
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:22,249
Hold it!
Hold it!
361
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,350
Now we're not going to get
Anywhere
362
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:24,717
If everybody talks at once.
363
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:27,320
Andy, you just got to do
Something. You got to.
364
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,522
That barney is making
Our life miserable
365
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,491
Since he got that darn
Motorcycle.
366
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,793
He's gonna kill somebody
One of these days.
367
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,329
He's a menace, andy.
A menace.
368
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,331
Now wait a minute.
Wait!
369
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:40,167
[ engine revving ]
370
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,635
There goes that phantom deputy.
371
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:43,703
Well, do something.
372
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:45,105
[ all yelling at once ]
373
00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:47,507
Y'all go on home.
374
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,409
I'll take care
Of the motorcycle.
375
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:52,412
Go on. Oh, jay,
Go on home.
376
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,216
Andy, you got to do something
About barney.
377
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,584
I know, aunt bee.
378
00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,786
Let me help you home
With your groceries.
379
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:02,255
Andy, this has gone way
Beyond --
380
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,624
Will you stop telling me
To take it easy?
381
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,693
You got to take it away
From him.
382
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:10,130
You know that he nearly ran me
Over with that silly thing?
383
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:14,734
You know, I'm in mind to take
The motorcycle away from him
384
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,204
And leave him with a sidecar
385
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,471
And fill it up with sand
386
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:19,839
And give him a bucket
And a shovel
387
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,608
And let him play in it
On weekends.
388
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:24,711
You know, I saw
In a war picture once
389
00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:28,548
These nazis riding around
On their motorcycles.
390
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:33,120
And these guerillas strung a
Wire across the road so high
391
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:36,423
And when these nazis came
Roaring through
392
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,358
On their motorcycles --
393
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:42,495
Aunt bee,
We don't want to kill him.
394
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,565
Like to can hurt him a little,
But we don't want to kill him.
395
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:46,799
You have to do something.
396
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,835
I wish we had a psychiatrist
In town.
397
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,770
I bet barney would
Be a real study.
398
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,505
You could get him off
The motorcycle.
399
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:55,575
Maybe we can get the doctor
To ride along with him.
400
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,844
Kind of a ride-along
Psychiatrist.
401
00:17:57,877 --> 00:17:59,412
That's not a bad idea.
402
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,314
[ sniffing ]
403
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:04,684
That smells familiar.
404
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:07,420
Oh, that's opie. He's burning us
A new house number.
405
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:11,191
On a separate piece of wood,
I hope.
406
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,293
Oh, I don't know.
407
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,233
Hold it. Hold it.
Hold it. Hold it.
408
00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:22,469
Hi, pa.
Looks swell, don't it?
409
00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:25,538
Oh, ope, you shouldn't have
Burned it right into the house.
410
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,907
You should put it
On a separate piece of wood.
411
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,543
That way we can nail it up
In a prominent place.
412
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,812
Don't you see, pa?
This way it's permanent.
413
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,282
Nobody can come along
And take our number
414
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,916
And put it on another house.
415
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,786
I don't recall us having a
Number thief around for ages.
416
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:43,890
Put it on a separate
Piece of wood.
417
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:47,460
I have to admit, though,
It looks kind of nice.
418
00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:48,828
Right professional.
419
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,530
You keep it up,
I wouldn't be surprised
420
00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:52,365
If you make money at it
Sometime.
421
00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:54,667
-wouldn't that be great?
-oh, yeah.
422
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:58,538
Somebody wants his name done
Or a "Out to lunch" sign
423
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:01,441
Or a "Dentist will be back soon"
Sign.
424
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,643
How about a "Look out
For the dogs" sign?
425
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:06,213
If I had a mean dog,
I'd buy one.
426
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,380
Stay right with it.
427
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:08,548
[ horn honks ]
428
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,950
Hi, andy!
429
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,852
Hi, barney!
430
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:28,235
Good morning, barn.
431
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,470
Oh, hi, ange.
What you got there, oilcloth?
432
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,339
Yeah.
433
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,341
What are you going to do, cover
Some of opie's schoolbooks?
434
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,608
No, actually, this is for you.
435
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:36,876
Huh?
436
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:39,579
Well, I got to thinking,
If the cycle
437
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:43,250
Is going to be a permanent piece
Of our rolling stock,
438
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:46,519
And I'm gonna have to ride in it
Once in a while,
439
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:50,457
I thought we might
Just fix her up a little bit.
440
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,993
This cushion's all torn
And stained and everything.
441
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,862
And, well, here.
442
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:58,598
Why don't you cover it up and
Give me a clean place to sit?
443
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:01,834
[ laughs ] You really fool
A guy, you know that?
444
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,437
I didn't know what you thought
Of the cycle
445
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:05,738
Until this very minute.
446
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,974
Well, my face don't let on.
447
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:11,411
Now cover it around
There good and snug.
448
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,679
All right.
449
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,414
Do it right
Or don't do it at all.
450
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,716
Right.
451
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:20,653
Hey, barn? Barn?
452
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:23,256
Did you see this?
453
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:24,357
What?
454
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:27,594
Down here where the cushion was.
455
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:30,630
Kind of a plaque or inscription
Or something.
456
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:31,931
Lookee there --
457
00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,734
"First motorcycle to cross
The marne river.
458
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:40,607
Battle of chateau tierry,
June 12, 1918."
459
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:41,974
For pete's sake.
460
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:44,677
"Passenger, black jack pershing.
461
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:48,415
Driver, corporal
Nate jackson, a.E.F."
462
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,583
General pershing?
That's really something!
463
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,585
They probably did this
Right in combat
464
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,621
As soon as they got
On the other side.
465
00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,022
More than likely.
466
00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:58,325
What they probably did
Was to heat a bayonet
467
00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,959
And burn it in here
For posterity.
468
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,828
Yeah. Yeah.
469
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:04,764
I knew there was something
Special about the cycle
470
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,500
The first time I threw a leg
Over her saddle.
471
00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:10,002
You don't have an ordinary cycle
There, barn.
472
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,504
You got a monument
On your hands.
473
00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:13,306
Yeah.
474
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,342
You know, it probably ought to
Be on display someplace
475
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,577
Like there in that
Smith brothers institution
476
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:20,680
In washington, d.C., right along
With lindy's spirit of st. Louis
477
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,014
And all them other things.
478
00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:27,320
Barn, it really should be,
You know that?
479
00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:32,892
You mean you think I actually
Ought to give it to 'em?
480
00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:34,361
Not to them.
481
00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:37,397
Your first loyalty is
To your town.
482
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:38,898
What do you mean?
483
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:41,501
We got a lot of world war I
Veterans right here --
484
00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:44,837
Al, burt stevens, the milo boys.
485
00:21:44,871 --> 00:21:46,639
Actually, this cycle belongs
486
00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:48,875
Over at the national guard
Armory.
487
00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,344
We got the cannon
From the civil war,
488
00:21:51,378 --> 00:21:53,413
The jeep from world war ii.
489
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:55,682
This cycle belongs
Right between them.
490
00:21:55,715 --> 00:22:00,953
Kind of a shame to retire
It from police duty.
491
00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:04,357
It's only been on the job
A little over a week.
492
00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:09,462
Al, burt, the milo boys.
493
00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:12,999
It's theirs, barn.
494
00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:14,801
Yeah.
495
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,770
It belongs to the world
All right.
496
00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:20,773
Kind of like giving up
An old friend.
497
00:22:20,807 --> 00:22:23,910
It's for the best.
498
00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:26,479
Why don't you just run it
Over there?
499
00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:28,881
No.
500
00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:33,686
You do it, will you, ange?
501
00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:49,469
Don't look back.
502
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,047
Hi, pa.
503
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,749
Did you find out
Where barney went?
504
00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:05,184
Yeah, he went over
To the army surplus auction
505
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:06,853
In mt. Pilot again.
506
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:08,521
Gee, I hope he brings back
Something interesting.
507
00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:10,457
Bite your tongue.
508
00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:12,859
[ telephone rings ]
509
00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:15,194
Hello?
Sheriff's office.
510
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:18,998
What?!
You're not serious!
511
00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:22,469
Where'd you say?
Highway 6?
512
00:23:22,502 --> 00:23:23,770
I'll be right there.
513
00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:25,605
What it is, pa?
514
00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:28,441
Barney bought something at
The army surplus auction again.
515
00:23:28,475 --> 00:23:29,909
I'll put a stop to this.
516
00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:36,649
[ siren wailing ]
517
00:23:47,694 --> 00:23:49,929
Dadburn it, barney.
You've gone too far this time.
518
00:23:49,962 --> 00:23:51,130
Now, come out of there!
519
00:23:51,163 --> 00:23:52,899
What is the meaning of this,
Sheriff?
520
00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:55,167
I'm major hobart, 22nd division.
521
00:23:55,201 --> 00:23:58,538
We're on our way to a military
Display, and we're late now.
522
00:23:58,571 --> 00:24:01,841
Oh, I'm sorry, major.
523
00:24:01,874 --> 00:24:04,611
I thought you was my deputy.
524
00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:06,679
He bought this world war I
Motorcycle,
525
00:24:06,713 --> 00:24:08,881
And I thought he might have
Bought a tank.
526
00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:10,750
And well...
I'm sorry!
527
00:24:19,091 --> 00:24:22,094
[ whistling sprightly tune ]
38153
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