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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,373
[ whistling sprightly tune ]
2
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,147
Starring andy griffith...
3
00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:15,516
With ronny howard...
4
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:18,386
Also starring don knotts.
5
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:26,294
Uh-oh.
6
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,629
What's the matter?
7
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:32,300
Ain't chicken
Spelled "I-n"?
8
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,535
No, he's got it right.
9
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,137
You sure?
10
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,139
Uh-huh.
11
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,741
"I" before "E"
Except after "C"
12
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:43,277
And "E" before "N"
In "Chicken."
13
00:00:43,311 --> 00:00:44,578
[ fingers snap ]
14
00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:45,713
Yeah.
15
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:48,349
I always
Forget that rule.
16
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,419
Can't you see
A man's doin'
17
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,554
A delicate piece
Of artistic work here?
18
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:54,588
Go around in back.
19
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:02,163
I believe that's
Briscoe darling's truck.
20
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,331
Barney:
Huh?
21
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:04,432
Briscoe darling.
22
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:05,533
Come on.
23
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,236
Man at work here!
Man at work.
24
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,446
Howdy, mr. Darling.
25
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,314
What in the world
Brings you down
26
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:21,549
Out of the mountains?
27
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,217
Trouble, sheriff.
28
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:24,618
We got, uh...
29
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:27,388
Is it all right
To talk in front of him?
30
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,556
Oh, sure.
31
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,258
This is my deputy,
Barney fife.
32
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,292
Briscoe darling.
33
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:32,426
Howdy.
34
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:33,894
I married
Mr. Darling's
Daughter
35
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:34,895
To dud wash.
36
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:35,896
You did?
37
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,265
Oh, yeah,
That's right.
38
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:38,799
It was when
You and your mother
39
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,701
Was on that bus
Trip to charlotte.
40
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:41,835
Say you
Got trouble?
41
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,204
It's a sight.
42
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:44,838
Well, what in the
World's the matter?
43
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:48,642
Well, there's this fella
Up home -- ernest t. Bass.
44
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:52,446
He just don't take to dud
And charlene bein' married.
45
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,215
Well, it was all legal.
46
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,750
I gave you a copy
Of the marriage certificate
47
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,152
And kept a copy here.
48
00:01:58,186 --> 00:01:59,587
I know that.
49
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,856
But that don't signify
With ernest t. Bass.
50
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:07,395
He keeps botherin' charlene,
Yellin' in the night,
51
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,330
Throwin' rocks
Through the windows.
52
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:11,465
Can't you
And your boys handle him?
53
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:14,202
Well, we thought
About killin' him.
54
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,136
Kinda hated to go that far.
55
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,173
Well, uh,
It's a wise man
56
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,441
That knows
It's illegal
57
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,510
To take the law
Into one's own hands.
58
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:25,246
Is he arguin' with me?
59
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,915
No, he's
Agreein' with you.
60
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:31,885
Just so's I know where I stand.
61
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,255
Do you s'pose you could
Find the time
62
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:35,389
To come on up there
63
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:37,458
And straighten
This thing out for us?
64
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,659
Well, sure.
65
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,428
We'll come up
There tomorrow.
66
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:41,462
Good.
67
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,566
Oh, uh...
68
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,568
You better travel
By daylight.
69
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,203
It gets kind of rough
70
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:52,306
After you cross
The robert e. Lee
Natural bridge.
71
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,574
We'll get a early start.
72
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,243
I won't even
Go home tonight.
73
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,410
I'll sleep
Right here.
74
00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:57,911
I'll expect
You tomorrow.
75
00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:58,912
We'll see you.
76
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:01,315
Adios, amigo.
77
00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:02,850
He one o' ours?
78
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,253
Sure.
79
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,221
More power to you.
80
00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:09,423
I'll see you.
81
00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:13,994
Robert e. Lee
Natural bridge?
82
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,730
I don't believe I
Ever heard of that.
83
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,299
It's a oak tree
84
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,601
That fell across
The shallow spot
In the creek.
85
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,906
[ snoring ]
86
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,248
Barney.
87
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,987
Barney!
88
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,792
Uh...
89
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:53,367
[ alarm ringing ]
90
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:01,675
[ ringing continues ]
91
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:02,876
[ ringing stops ]
92
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,545
[ clears throat ]
93
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:05,613
Barney.
94
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,448
It's 4:00 in the morning.
95
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:08,949
Yeah.
96
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,418
Come on, barney.
97
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:11,885
We got a long drive
Ahead of us.
98
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,687
Up you go.
99
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:16,924
For heaven's sakes,
Barney, will you wake up?
100
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,326
Yeah, I'm awake.
101
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,064
[ snoring ]
102
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,567
Barney.
103
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,035
Barney!
104
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,737
Barney.
105
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,472
Barney, listen.
106
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:32,673
Barney?
Huh?
107
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:33,674
Barney?
108
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,675
Huh?
109
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,009
Will you listen to me?
110
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,578
It's 4:00 in the morning.
111
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,913
We got to get going
Up in the mountains.
112
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,850
[ snoring ]
113
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,285
[ sighs ]
114
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:49,923
Boy, you sure are
A hard one to wake up.
115
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,825
Will you wake up?!
116
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,327
I'm awake.
117
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:55,295
Okay.
118
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,701
Wake up!
119
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,870
[ snoring ]
120
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:10,378
[ whistle blows ]
121
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,779
[ snoring ]
122
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:19,653
[ fingers snap ]
123
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,822
Hi, andy.
Got a little trip?
124
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,457
Are you awake?
125
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:26,326
Yeah, all you got to do is
[fingers snap] And I'm up.
126
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,452
It ought to be close
By here somewhere.
127
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,887
[ bluegrass band playing ]
128
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,823
Listen.
129
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,992
Sounds like
That one up there.
130
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,661
[ music continues ]
131
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,663
Come on.
132
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:29,490
[ music continues ]
133
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,952
Good!
Extra good!
134
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:01,221
Mr. Darling,
Boys, good!
135
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,556
Howdy, sheriff.
136
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:03,824
Glad to see
You made it.
137
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,092
Oh, sure--
Howdy, charlene.
138
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,093
Hi.
139
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,427
Howdy, boys.
140
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,732
Boys are talkative today.
141
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,468
They all keyed up.
142
00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:16,036
I don't believe
Y'all ever met
143
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,471
My deputy,
Barney fife.
144
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:20,007
Charlene darling,
Now mrs. Dud wash.
145
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,108
Howdy, ma'am.
146
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,142
And the boys...
147
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,777
Barney:
Boys.
148
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:26,680
Well, mr. Darling,
What do you think we ought to...
149
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:27,781
Well,
Howdy, dud!
150
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:28,916
Howdy, sheriff.
151
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,618
My deputy,
Barney fife,
Dud wash.
152
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,019
Sure proud you
Could see fit
153
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,153
To intervene,
Sheriff.
154
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,122
Oh, it's
A pleasure, dud.
155
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,190
There's my darlin' person.
156
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:39,627
Dud, don't!
157
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:40,894
Aw, come on.
158
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,162
Briscoe:
Dud!
159
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:45,499
We got more important
Things to tend to.
160
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:47,801
Try to curb them hot flashes.
161
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,203
Did you tell
Ernest t. Bass
162
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,540
The sheriff was
Lookin' for him?
163
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,675
Well, I couldn't
Find him, mr. Darling.
164
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,944
His cousin said he
Went off into the woods
165
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,111
To kill a mockingbird.
166
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:01,615
Don't sound like
A very nice person.
167
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,083
One of the worst we got.
168
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,185
Maybe we ought
To look for him.
169
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,587
Oh, he's a pestilence
170
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,188
And the pestilence'll
Find you.
171
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,023
You just wait --
He'll be along.
172
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,559
Hey, how about
If I fix you
173
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,293
And your gun hand
A mouthful to eat?
174
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,662
Uh, well...
175
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:15,929
Charlene:
I could heat up
176
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:18,298
Some nice
Hogback bone
177
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,833
Or some
Fish muddle.
178
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:20,934
Uh, no, tha...
179
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,203
I don't believe
We'll have some.
180
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:26,106
Well, you'll probably be a while
181
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:29,109
Before ernest t. Bass
Comes along.
182
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,579
You bring your stringin'
Instrument, sheriff?
183
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:34,047
Oh, I didn't
Think we'd have
Time for any music.
184
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:37,951
Got time to breathe,
You got time for music.
185
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,987
How many strangs you used to?
186
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,789
There are six
On my guitar.
187
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,191
Well, here's
One with five.
188
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:47,327
Just kinda let
That thumb hang free
189
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,196
And enjoy the music.
190
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,764
How about playin'
191
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:53,266
"Never hit your grandma
With a great, big stick?"
192
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,868
No, dud,
That makes me cry.
193
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,236
Well, how
About "Dooley"?
194
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,138
Oh, that's a good'un.
195
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,073
A one, a two and away we go.
196
00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:03,010
[ music starts ]
197
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,652
* now, dooley was
A good old man *
198
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,721
* he lived
Below the mill *
199
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,055
* dooley had
Two daughters *
200
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,857
* and a 40-gallon still
201
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:20,594
* one gal watched the boiler,
The other watched the spout *
202
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,095
* and mama corked the bottles
203
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:23,931
* when old dooley
Fetched them out *
204
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,999
* dooley, slippin'
Up the holler *
205
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,101
* dooley, tryin'
To make a dollar *
206
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,003
* dooley, give
Me a swaller *
207
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,939
* and I'll pay
You back someday *
208
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:36,043
* the revenuers came for him,
A-slippin' through the woods *
209
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:39,613
* dooley kept behind them all
And never lost his goods *
210
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:43,183
* now, dooley was a trader
When into town he'd come *
211
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:46,887
* sugar by the bushel
And molasses by the drum *
212
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,357
* now, I remember very well
The day old dooley died *
213
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,892
* the womenfolk looked sorry
214
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,061
* and the men
Stood around and cried *
215
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:57,765
* now dooley's on the mountain,
He lies there all alone *
216
00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:01,301
* they put a jug beside him
And a barrel for a stone *
217
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,370
* dooley,
Slippin' up the holler *
218
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:06,039
* dooley,
Tryin' to make a dollar *
219
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,808
* dooley,
Give me a swaller *
220
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,910
* and I'll pay
You back some day *
221
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:13,113
* and I'll pay
You back some day *
222
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,114
Good!
223
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,115
Extra good!
224
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,616
I believe
The boys...
225
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,886
What's that?
226
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,889
That's him --
Ernest t. Bass.
227
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,893
You better watch out,
Ernest t. Bass!
228
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,661
We got the law in here now!
229
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:36,403
"Charlene, I still
Love you and want you.
230
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:39,372
Ernest t. Bass."
231
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:41,675
I'm gonna go have
A talk with him.
232
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,145
[ chickens clucking ]
233
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:56,690
I don't see him.
234
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:57,858
There he is.
235
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:11,038
Ernest t. Bass,
You come out of there.
236
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,840
The sheriff wants
To talk to you.
237
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,775
Ernest:
I can hear him
From here.
238
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:17,444
You better do as
You're told, fella.
239
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,279
Barney:
This is the
Law speakin'!
240
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,987
Ernest:
Just leave the gun
Be, mister.
241
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,195
Now, look here, mr. Bass.
242
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,731
I'm the justice
Of the peace in mayberry,
243
00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:39,399
And I married
Charlene and dud,
244
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:42,770
And I got a copy
Of the marriage
Certificate here.
245
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,104
You a preacher?
246
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,138
Andy:
No.
247
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,007
Then they ain't rightly married.
248
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,508
I ought to have a chance
249
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,344
To sweet-talk and woo
And charm her with my ways.
250
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,180
Take a shot at him, sheriff.
251
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,082
You got a legal right.
252
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,884
Now, wait a minute,
Mr. Darling.
253
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:57,918
We can handle this
254
00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,452
Without anybody
Gettin' hurt.
255
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:00,487
Ernest t.?
256
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:01,989
I hear you.
257
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,757
Andy:
Here's what
We're gonna do.
258
00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:06,393
We're gonna get
Charlene and dud married
259
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,761
By a preacher.
260
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,129
Tomorrow bein' sunday,
261
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,131
The circuit
Preacher'll be by.
262
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,232
Good.
263
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,001
We'll have them
Married tomorrow.
264
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,302
Tomorrow?
265
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,271
Hey, that gives me 24 hours
To court her.
266
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:19,506
Now, you just hold on.
267
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:20,841
24 hours!
268
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,210
I still
Got a chance!
269
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,078
[ cackling ]
270
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:29,850
Yippee!
271
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,518
[ cackling ]
272
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:44,331
[ cackling continues ]
273
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:46,066
If you
Were to ask me,
274
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,402
This ernest t. Bass
Is a strange and
Weird character.
275
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:53,040
Just plain ornery
Is what he is.
276
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:55,909
I think he's a nut!
277
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:04,051
[ men snoring ]
278
00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:14,995
[ loud snoring ]
279
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,160
Hey, andy!
280
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,329
Hmm?
281
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,398
Are you asleep?
282
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,066
Are you kidding?
283
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:56,603
Did you ever hear anything
Like it in your life?
284
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,008
Because they're all sleeping
On their backs.
285
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:04,444
Suppose if we turn them over
On their sides it'd help?
286
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:07,547
It's worth a try.
287
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,449
[ snoring continues ]
288
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:16,256
Come on, come on.
289
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:17,324
Get on over.
290
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,458
Come on.
291
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,198
Okay.
292
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,906
[ snoring stops ]
293
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,443
What do you know --
It worked!
294
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,378
Mmm.
295
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,512
Night.
296
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,648
Good night.
297
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,463
[ sighs ]
298
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:06,106
[ snoring resumes ]
299
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,949
Barney:
What was that?
300
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:19,252
Ernest t. Bass is paying us
Another visit looks like.
301
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,362
Ernest t. Bass!
302
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,364
Ernest: in person.
303
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:35,002
You're a lowdown,
Pesky buzzard.
304
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,536
Doggone you!
305
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:39,106
Sticks and stones
Will break my bones,
306
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:41,308
But names can't
Never touch me.
307
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:42,675
Ernest t. Bass,
308
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:45,578
You better quit throwing
Rocks through this window.
309
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,447
Now, this is
The sheriff talking.
310
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,650
I'm going to have to arrest you
If you don't go on home.
311
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,686
You're disturbing the peace
Keeping these folks awake.
312
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,755
Well, tell them
All to go to sleep.
313
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,724
Just charlene
I wants to talk to.
314
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,661
You listen to me
Out there!
315
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,131
This is deputy fife
Speaking and I'm armed.
316
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,598
Now, if you don't go away,
317
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,101
I'm just liable to take
A shot out this window.
318
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:11,038
[ window shatters ]
319
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,739
You cut that out!
320
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,407
[ window shatters ]
321
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,543
Better stop
That deputy of yours.
322
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,311
He'll get us stoned to death.
323
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,549
What are we going to do?
324
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,184
Only one thing to do.
325
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:28,455
Let him speak his piece
And maybe he'll go on home.
326
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,689
Ernest t.?
327
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,191
Ernest:
I'm still here.
328
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,392
Listen a minute!
329
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,094
Keep on talking.
330
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:35,362
What do you got in mind?
331
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,596
I told you.
332
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,399
I've come to plight
My troth to charlene.
333
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,034
Dud:
She's been plighted!
334
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,570
Charlene, come over here
And let him talk to you.
335
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:44,771
Dud:
Now, wait a minute.
336
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,339
Let him talk to her.
337
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,241
Maybe he'll get it
Out of his system
338
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:50,477
And go on home and
We can get some sleep.
339
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,245
Go on, charlene.
340
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,314
I'm here.
341
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,615
What do you want?
342
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,450
Charlene, this here is
343
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,119
Ernest t. Bass here.
344
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,487
I'm declaring
For you.
345
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,355
Yeah?
346
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:06,059
Charlene? Look out here.
347
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:08,328
Can you see me?
348
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:12,232
I see you.
349
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:15,102
Good!
350
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:18,405
Charlene, you ain't never give
Me a chance to court you proper
351
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,640
To prove to you
That I'm the man for you.
352
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:24,211
First off,
I wants to serenade you.
353
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,117
Okay, ernest t.,
Serenade away.
354
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:33,653
All right, listen.
355
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,422
[ humming ]
356
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,358
[ humming ]
357
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,294
[ hums ]
358
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:47,200
* "Old leg" briar
Jump in the fire *
359
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,202
* fire too hot,
Jump in the pot *
360
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:50,703
* pot too black --
Jump in the crack *
361
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,672
* crack too high --
Jump in the sky *
362
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:54,474
* sky too blue --
Jump in canoe *
363
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,743
* canoe too shallow --
Jump in the tallow *
364
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,745
* tallow too soft --
Jump in the loft *
365
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,880
* loft too rotten --
Jump in the cotton *
366
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,450
* cotton so white
She stayed there all night *
367
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,256
Tell him
It was good.
368
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:11,258
That's good, ernest t.
369
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:14,127
Now you want to hear me sing
"Eating goober peas"?
370
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:17,897
No, thanks. Good night.
371
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,299
Wait a minute.
372
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,800
Lookee here.
373
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,138
I can do 18 chin-ups.
374
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:27,274
That's good.
Good night.
375
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,242
I can do chin-ups.
376
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:31,478
I'm the best rock thrower
In the county,
377
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,580
And I'm saving up
For a gold tooth.
378
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,283
I'm the man for you,
Charlene, you know it.
379
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:39,452
Now can I come over there
And kiss you on the jaw?
380
00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:41,488
No, you can't,
Ernest t. Bass!
381
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,656
This here is
My plighted bride.
382
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:44,857
And tomorrow
We're having
383
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:47,160
A preacher wedding
Just to satisfy you.
384
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:48,495
Now, go on home!
385
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,830
You just think you're
Having a wedding.
386
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:51,831
Maybe you ain't.
387
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,433
What'd you say?
388
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,535
I don't chew my cabbage twice.
389
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:58,705
And you ain't heard the last
Of ernest t. Bass.
390
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:01,308
Everybody duck.
391
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:08,615
Well, I guess we can all
Get some sleep now.
392
00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:17,190
Now, just a second,
Just a second.
393
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:19,326
Hold still,
Mr. Darling!
394
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,760
Ever since
I saw a hanging,
395
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:24,564
I've been nervous about
Wearing one of these things.
396
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:42,415
You look just
Like your ma.
397
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,324
You look nice, charlene.
398
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:54,261
Andy:
Beautiful,
Charlene.
399
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:56,729
Don't she
Look pretty, boys?
400
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:02,802
Boys ain't much
On complimenting.
401
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,237
[ glass shatters ]
402
00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:05,638
Andy:
Not ernest t. Bass again!
403
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,974
Barney:
He said we ain't heard
The last of him.
404
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,843
This note says, "Maybe
You're going to have a preacher
405
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,313
"And maybe you're going
To have a altar
406
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,615
"But maybe you're not
Going to have a bride.
407
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:16,749
Did you ever think of that?"
408
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,251
What's he mean by that?
409
00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:20,487
Andy, you don't think
That nut will come here
410
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,622
And try to steal
The bride away, do you?
411
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:23,856
Wouldn't put it
Past him.
412
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,258
He's as mean
As a snake.
413
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:26,326
Let him just try.
414
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,827
I'll show him
A couple of things
415
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:28,995
I learned in the army.
416
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:30,463
First you take your hand
417
00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:32,265
And you yank him
Round the throat
418
00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:33,833
And then you take
The other hand
419
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:34,967
And yank on his nose.
420
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,336
Stop that, boy.
421
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:39,606
You want your face
To freeze thataway?
422
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:41,040
That won't
Be necessary, dud.
423
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,909
Well, I ain't gonna
Just stand by
424
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:44,644
And let ernest t. Bass
Make off
425
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:45,912
With my
Darling person.
426
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,514
Don't worry about it, dud.
427
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:49,616
I got a idea.
428
00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:51,951
Men ( harmonizing ):
* what have I to dread
429
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:53,786
* what have I to fear
430
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:57,590
* leaning on
The everlasting arms? *
431
00:20:57,624 --> 00:21:01,428
* I have blessed peace
With my lord so near *
432
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:04,931
* leaning on
The everlasting arms *
433
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:08,968
* leaning... On the arms,
Leaning on the arms *
434
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:12,739
* safe and secure
From all the harms *
435
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:16,576
* leaning on the arms,
Leaning on the arms *
436
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:23,616
* leaning on
The everlasting arms *
437
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:28,355
Dearly beloved,
We are gathered together
438
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:29,556
In this company
439
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:31,691
To join together
This man and this woman
440
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:32,692
In matrimony.
441
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:33,993
[ gunshot ]
442
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:36,696
Stop that wedding!
443
00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:38,898
Don't
Nobody move.
444
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:40,900
He's shooting,
He's actually shooting.
445
00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:42,001
Just don't move.
446
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:45,605
He's shooting again.
447
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:46,806
Stop worrying.
448
00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:48,708
He ain't gonna shoot
The woman he loves.
449
00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:50,643
You've had some
Ideas in your time,
450
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,011
But this one's
The worst.
451
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:53,012
Just hold still.
452
00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:55,047
Ernest:
Hands up, everybody.
453
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,653
Keep 'em up...Keep 'em up!
454
00:22:00,687 --> 00:22:02,589
Keep 'em up.
455
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,470
All right, let's go.
456
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:19,372
Charlene, come on.
457
00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:21,908
Hurry, reverend, before
Ernest t. Bass discovers
458
00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:23,109
Who his bride is.
459
00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:25,144
Dearly beloved,
We're gathered together
460
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:26,779
In the face
Of this company
461
00:22:26,813 --> 00:22:28,915
To join together
This man and this woman...
462
00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:30,049
You're mine.
463
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:31,551
You was meant
To be mine.
464
00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:33,386
You wi be mine.
465
00:22:33,420 --> 00:22:35,955
Charlene, I'll make you
A fine husband.
466
00:22:35,988 --> 00:22:38,791
I'm a little mean,
But I make up for it
467
00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:40,460
By being real healthy.
468
00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:41,828
Say you'll be mine.
469
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,963
Say you'll be
My "Belove-ded."
470
00:22:45,932 --> 00:22:49,436
I wouldn't marry you if you
Were the last man on earth.
471
00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:54,674
Do you promise to love,
Honor, and obey charlene
472
00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:56,409
As long as ye shall
Both live?
473
00:22:56,443 --> 00:22:57,677
I do.
474
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,412
By the authority
Vested in me,
475
00:22:59,446 --> 00:23:01,113
I now pronounce you
Man and wife.
476
00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:03,450
You can kiss her
Now, dud.
477
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,552
Well, it's done
To the satisfaction
478
00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:07,487
Of ernest t. Bass
And everybody.
479
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,721
Nice wedding, preacher.
480
00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:09,822
Thank you.
481
00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:10,923
Sure was.
482
00:23:10,957 --> 00:23:12,124
I'm kind of worried
483
00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:14,561
About that little
Fellow -- your deputy.
484
00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:16,696
Yeah, maybe I better
Go look for him.
485
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:18,698
Barney: andy!
486
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,533
Andy!
487
00:23:20,567 --> 00:23:22,869
Andy!
488
00:23:29,776 --> 00:23:33,780
All right, ernest t. Bass,
Shake dud's hand.
489
00:23:35,648 --> 00:23:37,183
Go on, shake.
490
00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:40,953
If I ever hear you ain't good
To her,
491
00:23:40,987 --> 00:23:42,955
I'm gonna call
That lady sheriff
492
00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:46,025
And you'll be in real
Trouble.
493
00:23:46,058 --> 00:23:48,060
Oh, I'll be good to her,
Ernest t.
494
00:23:48,094 --> 00:23:50,863
All right, let's get on
With the celebration.
495
00:23:50,897 --> 00:23:53,733
[ indistinct talking ]
496
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,468
Hey, paw, how about
Playin' something
497
00:23:55,502 --> 00:23:56,869
Me and dud can dance to?
498
00:23:56,903 --> 00:23:58,605
Yeah, something like
That anniversary waltz.
499
00:23:58,638 --> 00:24:00,106
All right.
500
00:24:00,139 --> 00:24:04,076
Let's do "Dance till your
Stockings are hot and raveling."
501
00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:06,579
A-one and a-two
And a-one and a-two.
502
00:24:06,613 --> 00:24:09,882
[ up-tempo music plays ]
503
00:24:24,864 --> 00:24:26,098
What are you doing?
504
00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:27,800
I'd appreciate for you
To dance with me.
505
00:24:27,834 --> 00:24:28,868
Get out of here!
506
00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:30,169
Andy!
I'm a good dancer.
507
00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:31,638
You're some kind of
A nut!
508
00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:32,639
But I'm a good dancer.
509
00:24:32,672 --> 00:24:33,806
I don't care
What you are.
510
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,141
Oh, come on!
Nut!
511
00:24:38,244 --> 00:24:41,581
[ whistling sprightly tune ]
33964
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