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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:05,773 What? No soap? 2 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:06,882 Ugh! 3 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,653 C'mon. Oh! 4 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,280 Where are the towels? 5 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,181 Come on! 6 00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:17,726 Ugh! 7 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,749 Ugh! What happened with all my face wash? 8 00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,626 You have toilet paper on your face. 9 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,794 Yeah, 'cause my towel's also gone. 10 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,880 And I know it's not you because you're very particular, 11 00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,965 but could you please tell Lexi to stop using my stuff? 12 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,800 Nope. Can't do it. Why? 13 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,427 Our relationship is purely sexual, 14 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,929 and that falls outside the purview of our dynamic. 15 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,847 But you could talk to her. 16 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:38,973 Mm. And while you are, 17 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,308 would you please ask her to not use 18 00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:41,643 my sushi knife to cut her bread? No. 19 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,645 She's your 20 00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,522 whatever she is. 21 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,359 I just want my Cetaphil and my space. 22 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,652 I understand. 23 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:51,802 Well, see you later. 24 00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,828 Oh, my God. What are you doing in here? 25 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,038 Oh, I hope you don't mind. 26 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,581 I just needed some space. 27 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,375 Uh, Edward just went to work. 28 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,793 You could always use his room. 29 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,670 Oh, but his mattress is so flat 30 00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,380 from all of our robust sexing. 31 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,923 Yours is like new. 32 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:14,425 Still so plush and fluffy. 33 00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:17,762 Thank you. So now that our liaisons 34 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,180 are out in the open, 35 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,473 I guess I'm not sure what 36 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,808 Edward and I are to one another. 37 00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:24,560 Are we courting? Am I his boo? 38 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,604 Either way, I'd like to get him a token of my admiration. 39 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,273 And I need your help. Oh, yeah, 40 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,941 I-I-I'd prefer not to chime in, 41 00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:31,693 because, you know, you're my boss. 42 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,403 But you know him so well, 43 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,220 and he only knows my bathing suit area. 44 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,907 Oh, I could get him a razor 45 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,201 or a wallet. Shoot. 46 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,744 Got to get to work. Of course. 47 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:42,870 We'll continue this later. 48 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,414 Wa... We will? 49 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,832 We work together, silly. 50 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,816 We have all day to discuss this. 51 00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:51,820 Captions by VITAC... 52 00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:59,595 And so, another workday draws to a close. 53 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,724 As you return to your tiny apartments, 54 00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:05,751 just know that you have done an adequate job. 55 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,062 Oh, my. 56 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,605 Oh, I am so sorry, Mr. Rhodes. 57 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:10,898 I really need to watch where I'm going. 58 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,483 Geez, I'm a menace. 59 00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:13,860 Dennis the Menace. 60 00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,320 You do realize that we have 61 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:17,655 a very strict drug policy here, right? 62 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,616 Oh, God. No, I-I-I'm not on... 63 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,117 You on the booger sugar? 64 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,702 No? You're not? No. Absolutely not. 65 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,580 No. Never. Okay. Relax around me. 66 00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:27,415 Okay? Okay. Thank you, sir. 67 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:28,666 Boo. 68 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,209 Okay. 69 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,544 Yeah. 70 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,421 That was very funny, Mr. Rhodes. 71 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,340 Wow. 72 00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:36,716 How bad was that? 73 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,468 Why are you so nervous around him? 74 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:39,636 I don't know, because he owns the paper 75 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,471 and he's built like a redwood. 76 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,681 Dennis, Duncan is no more than a egotistical, 77 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,266 out-of-touch narcissist. 78 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,018 There's no reason to be intimidated by him. 79 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,895 Dennis, we've got breaking news. 80 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,480 A big fire on the 5 Freeway. 81 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,482 But I was just about to head out. 82 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,150 Okay, I'll call them and tell them 83 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,777 to keep it lightly burning 84 00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:56,778 until it's a better time for you. 85 00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,821 It's a fire, Dennis! 86 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,282 Fine. Send Kevin to the scene and I'll get a comment 87 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,534 from the fire chief. All right. 88 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:04,869 Girl, you are so lucky 89 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,245 you're just the Lifestyle editor. 90 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:08,706 Yeah. 91 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,291 Just the Lifestyle editor. 92 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,293 Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! 93 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,795 Shh! What are you... What? What? 94 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:15,421 What? 95 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,465 I've been working in here all day. 96 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,633 Baby, I told you not to eat that 97 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,051 vending machine tuna salad. 98 00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:22,261 No, I'm hiding from Lexi. 99 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,013 Ever since I found out what's going on 100 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,264 between her and Edward, she's been 101 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:27,350 asking me relationship questions. 102 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,726 Go easy on her, okay? 103 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,728 She hasn't dated in like 15 years. 104 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:31,896 This is really hard for her. 105 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,273 It's really hard for me, too. 106 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,401 Yesterday, she came into the bathroom 107 00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,069 while I was going. 108 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,779 Brah, do you know how invasive 109 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,280 that is? 110 00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,157 Yes, I do. 111 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,266 Oh. 112 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,787 Cheryl's not a hand washer. Ugh! 113 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,163 Good to know. Trust me, 114 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,331 I know Lexi can be a lot, 115 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,707 but it can't be that bad. 116 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,584 She used my lipliner to do her Sudoku. 117 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,336 Yeah, we got to get you out. This is disgusting. Thank you. 118 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,546 Let's go. Has anyone seen 119 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:57,863 Nell Serrano? 120 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:00,925 Go! 121 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:01,760 Go, go, go, go, go. Go left. 122 00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:02,761 Left. Left. 123 00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:03,762 Your other left. 124 00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:05,179 Your oth... 125 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,597 Your other left. 126 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,349 Go straight. 127 00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,434 Now go around that desk. 128 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,185 About 5'3"? Disheveled? 129 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,187 Straight. Straight. 130 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,188 Take a right. 131 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,731 Take a right. 132 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,775 Down. Well, this is a problem. 133 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,485 Lower. I need to know where she is at all times. 134 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,636 Get lower. We should be putting trackers on her. 135 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,701 Oh. Hey, you. 136 00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:29,245 Hey, Lara Croft. Hey. 137 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,663 Sorry, uh... 138 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,540 Lexi's sorta dating my roommate, 139 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,292 and I'm just, uh, trying not to get involved. 140 00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:35,418 Sounds sorta complicated. 141 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,086 Ah. 142 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,754 Instead of dive rolling, have you thought 143 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:41,924 of maybe setting some boundaries with her? 144 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,509 Set boundaries with my boss? 145 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,428 No. 146 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,430 I mean, if I say something that offends her, 147 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,640 she might, you know, make me an obituary writer forever. 148 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,559 I'll just stick to hiding. In that case, 149 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,728 there's a clear path to the... 150 00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,545 Bye... Elevator. 151 00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,526 Murmur, murmur, murmur. 152 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,862 Oh! Nell! There you are! 153 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,364 Huh? Lexi. Where have you been? 154 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,866 I've been thinking on the gift for Edward, 155 00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:07,826 and I've decided to purchase him 156 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:09,619 a new cellphone case. 157 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,204 Can't you just talk to Sam about this? 158 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,914 No. She doesn't know Edward like you do. 159 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,457 And she frequently forgets his name 160 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,334 and refers to him as "Scrawny Johnny." 161 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:18,419 Please, Nell, I need your help. 162 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,087 Yeah, it's ju... All right, listen up, people. 163 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,964 Huh? Got a freeway fire, 164 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,716 a mountain lion loose in Altadena, 165 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,010 and now a state senator caught taking bribes. 166 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,804 Call your families, tell them you will not be 167 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,347 coming home for dinner tonight. 168 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,414 We got ourselves a news-valanche. 169 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,185 News-valanche. Bummer. 170 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,353 Okay. Good night. 171 00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:36,938 Nell, hold up. Huh? 172 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,314 It's gonna be a busy night for you, also. 173 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,982 Why? Two ambulance-chasing lawyers 174 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,734 were on their way to the freeway fire 175 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,970 when, ironically, they crashed into an ambulance and died. 176 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,390 Try not to make it funny. Okay. 177 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,035 Well, this is perfect. Yeah. 178 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,495 This means that you and I are going to be together 179 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,830 all night. 180 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,331 Yay! 181 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,707 Yay! Yay! 182 00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:57,774 Yay! 183 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,381 What the hell is a news-valanche? 184 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,757 Oh, every once in a while, 185 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:05,925 several big news stories break all at once, 186 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:06,843 and we have to cover them all 187 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,261 for the morning edition. 188 00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,679 It's an avalanche of news 189 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,931 or, if you will, a "news-valanche." 190 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,433 So you think the kid really has enough backbone 191 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,060 to run this thing? Oh, yeah, 192 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,437 a news-valanche is where Dennis really shines. 193 00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,772 Cheryl, I still need a comment 194 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,357 on the bribery scandal. On it, Boss. 195 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,734 Mason, where are we with the pizzas? 196 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,236 Well, I-I... "I-I-I..." 197 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,696 What are you, an optometrist? 198 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,155 Get us the pizzas here, I don't care 199 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,907 if you have to bake them yourself. 200 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,534 Hmm. Not bad. All right, come on, people. 201 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,994 Let's see some hustle. 202 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,954 If you wanted a job with short work hours, 203 00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,289 you should have become a DJ. 204 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,480 Finally. Thank you. 205 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,209 So, who are these obituaries for? 206 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,377 Partners at a law firm. 207 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,587 Jerry Grady and Greg Blitt. 208 00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:44,422 Oh, I know their commercials. 209 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,882 ♪ Call injury attorneys Grady and Blitt ♪ 210 00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:50,636 ♪ We'll get you a settlement lickety-split ♪ 211 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,388 Your name just had to go before mine, didn't it? 212 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,015 It's a jingle. Has to rhyme, dumb-ass. 213 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,349 You're the dumb-ass, dumb-ass. 214 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,851 Oh, you are so lucky you get to go home. 215 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,811 Oh, I'm not leaving. Last news-valanche I left 216 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:01,230 because they didn't need the Lifestyle editor, 217 00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,523 and I missed all the excitement. 218 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,442 Not to mention the inside jokes. 219 00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,943 I mean, I still don't know why 220 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,427 they call Steve "Wet Steve." 221 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,741 I totally forgot about "Wet Steve"! 222 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,410 That was the great... that... You didn't... 223 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,996 Pbht. You didn't miss nothing. 224 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:17,748 All right, I'm gonna go see if Dennis 225 00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:18,914 needs me for anything. 226 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,666 Okay. Bye. 227 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,586 Okay. Let's get these obits done. 228 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,171 Be sure to mention that when he hit that ambulance, 229 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:26,547 he was looking at the car radio. 230 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,548 Yeah, because I didn't want to listen 231 00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:28,591 to the Goo Goo Dolls, 232 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,925 unlike some wusses I work with. 233 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,594 Their music is very uplifting! 234 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,971 Okay, I need some coffee for this. 235 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,265 Hey, little buddy, color me impressed 236 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,476 with the way you're running the ship here. 237 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,478 I'm not a journalist, per se. 238 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:44,190 I purchased the paper just to fill out my vast portfolio. 239 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,608 But I have to say, it's so fun 240 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,652 watching everyone scurry around. 241 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,570 Dennis, Wet Steve got the copier 242 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,322 all wet and now it's broken. 243 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,782 Oh, damn it, Wet Steve. 244 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,200 You know, I used to be a repairman 245 00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,285 before I built my lightbulb empire. 246 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,912 I could probably fix that. 247 00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,538 Great. Yes, just do that. 248 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:00,665 I charge 80 bucks an hour. 249 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:01,707 Fine. 250 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,251 I'm kidding. 251 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,735 I'm a katrillionaire. 252 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,714 Ah! 253 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,508 Come on. 254 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,259 Ugh! 255 00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,011 Please, please step aside, sir. 256 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,763 You see, the trick is 257 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:18,474 to give it a good whack on the right side. 258 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,518 Right about... 259 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,645 Hey! Oh! 260 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,231 That's a score. 261 00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,732 A twofer. 262 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,401 Wow. Two? What am I gonna do with two? 263 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,736 Milady? 264 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:31,821 Stop! Yeah. 265 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,781 Funyuns for dinner? 266 00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,324 You betcha. 267 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,492 What are you still doing here? 268 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,119 Well, it's March Madness, 269 00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,621 the Miami Open, and the Gold Cup. 270 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:41,872 It's what we call 271 00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:44,583 a "sports-nado." Sports-nado. 272 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,419 How's the situation with Lexi? It's stressful, 273 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,629 but work seems to be keeping her busy. 274 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,756 Oh, Nell, I texted Edward to find out what he'd like, 275 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,633 but he hasn't gotten back to me, and it's been 10 minutes. 276 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,260 What should I do? Do I send him an "e-mo-zhi"? 277 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,637 Uh, L-Lexi? 278 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,597 Um... 279 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,433 I think we should set some boundaries 280 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:01,600 to keep our work life 281 00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,561 and our personal life separate. 282 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,563 Maybe there's someone else you can talk to about this. 283 00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,022 Quit your begging. Yes, I'll help you 284 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,691 with your love life. Oh, I don't think 285 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,359 you're the person I need to be... Lexi. 286 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,819 I've had more boos, baes, and zaddies 287 00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,446 than you can imagine. Is she serious? 288 00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,239 I've seen her HR file. Oh. 289 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,907 Hey, if you wanna keep getting ghosted, 290 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,534 it's no skin off my back. 291 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,536 But if you want to hook that marlin, come with me. 292 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,872 I guess I'm going deep sea fishing with Tina. 293 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,707 Oh. Oh. 294 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,625 Hey, Jared, there's no "u" in "inferno." 295 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,669 Anything I can do to help? Right now, 296 00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,504 all of the reporters are on crunch time, but thank you. 297 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,131 I'm a reporter. I mean, I went to journalism school. 298 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:33,841 Yes, I know. This is an emergency, 299 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,134 not a fashion emergency. 300 00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,510 But, hey, if that mountain lion shows up 301 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,720 in culottes, I will let you know. 302 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:38,929 How's it going, Boss? 303 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,389 I call you "Boss" ironically, 304 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,725 because, well, obviously I'm your boss. 305 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,394 So I rolled up the old shirt sleeves, 306 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,855 handmade in "Barthelona," 307 00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,815 and, uh, got under the hood of that copier. 308 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,442 Yes. Great, great. So then it's fixed. 309 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,278 Oh, no, no, it isn't. It's a... It's a mess. 310 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,447 No. No, no. No. 311 00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,324 It's funny, when I started in the lightbulb biz, 312 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,367 things were built to last. 313 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:01,577 You know what they used to do? 314 00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,412 They would... They would coat the bulb 315 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,789 in a silica and... 316 00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,832 Cram your bulbs, Duncan! 317 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,024 What? 318 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,463 If you want to be a team player, 319 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,381 I need you to start acting like it. 320 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:17,092 I need your loyalty. I need your expertise. 321 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:20,054 Right now, our light table is broken, 322 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,555 and if we do not fix it, 323 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:25,518 we do not get to lay out the morning edition. 324 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:28,711 Can I count on you to fix it? 325 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,736 You got it, Boss. 326 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,679 And that time I meant it. 327 00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:39,658 Sam, go with him. 328 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,408 Oh. What now? 329 00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:44,036 So, tell me how you guys met. 330 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,621 Oh, you mean the worst day of my life 331 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:46,622 including today, when I died 332 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,082 in a massive fireball? 333 00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,709 And here we go. I wanted to help people 334 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,920 by being a pro bono defense attorney. 335 00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,713 But then he talked me into personal injury law, 336 00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,257 and now our faces are on billboards 337 00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,383 and urinal cakes. 338 00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:58,717 I've texted Edward 26 times, 339 00:10:58,741 --> 00:10:59,678 and he still hasn't responded. 340 00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:00,970 Normally, I would fire him, 341 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,471 but that doesn't feel applicable here. 342 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,640 Trust me. Keep texting him. Really? 343 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,016 Mm-hmm. Okay. 344 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,060 Oh, I-I really don't think that... 345 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,436 Nope, no, no, not getting involved. 346 00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,772 Those urinal cakes paid for our boat. 347 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,108 It's your boat. I would never buy a boat. 348 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,192 And if I did, I wouldn't name it. 349 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,735 Hit It & Acquit It. 350 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,445 Should I send someone to drive by his house? 351 00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,447 Lexi, come on. 352 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,116 Of course that's the right thing to do. I knew it. 353 00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,743 Oh, my God, I have to go work somewhere quieter, 354 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,620 like a Chuck E. Cheese. 355 00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,730 Oh. It's, uh... 356 00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:37,548 You know, when I started out as a repairman, 357 00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:39,258 I was so broke, the only thing I had 358 00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:41,844 were my grandfather's tools 359 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:45,014 and this beat-up van I used to sleep in. 360 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,516 I ate beans for every meal 361 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,518 for like eight months. 362 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,604 Hey, do you know what the best dessert bean is? 363 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,856 Mnh-mnh. Pinto. 364 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,233 Wow. I had no idea. 365 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:59,069 The pinto is the most versatile bean. 366 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,863 No, I mean, I had no idea 367 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,656 that you were a self-made man. 368 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,577 You just seem so... elitist. 369 00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:08,746 Thank you. 370 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,289 All right, now, 371 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,416 let's see what we got here, huh? 372 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,584 Come on, baby. 373 00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:16,670 Ha ha! Look at that. 374 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,464 All right, I guess I'm just gonna go 375 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,633 tell everyone that old man Rhodes 376 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,509 is still pretty useful. 377 00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,011 Yeah. No, wait. Stop. 378 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,596 Actually, I can't let you go out there, 379 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,473 'cause now I realize that you are a human being 380 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:30,559 with something approximating human emotions. 381 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,645 W-W-What do you mean? I just fixed this bad boy. 382 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:35,689 Actually, um, we use a computer to do all of our layouts. 383 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,858 We have since the '90s. 384 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:41,278 This is... an antique. 385 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,447 Like me. 386 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:45,282 Mm-hmm. 387 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,659 So I guess Dennis thinks 388 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:49,912 that I'm so useless that, uh 389 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:52,122 he has to give me a babysitter, huh? 390 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:55,876 I'm so useless I need to be your babysitter. 391 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,568 Mine's worse. 392 00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,905 Hey. Hey. 393 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,759 Don't you have a sports-quake 394 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,010 to be working on? 395 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,554 Um, it's called a "sports-nado." 396 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,473 Oh. 397 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,308 And I'm on break. How you doing? 398 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,018 Okay. I came here to focus, 399 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,896 but all I can think about is how annoying Lexi is. 400 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,272 You know, Edward is not gonna respond well 401 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,482 to all those texts. 402 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:19,775 He gets upset when there's, like, 403 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,902 too many marshmallows in his cocoa. 404 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,821 I'm sure they'll work it out. 405 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,656 Yeah, but they're both just so weird about dating 406 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,491 and they don't know how to communicate. 407 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,410 I-I think I'm gonna get involved just this one time. 408 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:30,560 Just... 409 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,710 Yello. Dude, why aren't you 410 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,628 responding to Lexi's texts? 411 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,588 I got overwhelmed after three consistent texts, 412 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,132 so I muted my messages. 413 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,842 Well, just please respond to your girlfriend. 414 00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,343 Thank you. Bye. 415 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:50,139 See? Just needed a little nudge. 416 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,433 Problem solved. 417 00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:53,892 Okay. 418 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,603 He's probably calling me back to thank me. 419 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,772 Mm-hmm? My girlfriend? 420 00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:00,399 Did she call herself that? 421 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,026 I mean, I don't... 422 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,318 I don't... I think maybe Tina might have said it. 423 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,571 Tina? Who's Tina? 424 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:06,822 Is Lexi talking to other people 425 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,323 about our relationship? 426 00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:09,616 Uh... I could get past 427 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,784 the 47 text messages, 428 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:11,869 but the rest of this 429 00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:12,894 is very concerning. 430 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,793 It's all gonna be fine. 431 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,778 Really? Oh. Definitely not. 432 00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,009 Hey, fam! 433 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,761 So what's the sitch on the texting, huh? 434 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,429 Did, uh, Edward hit you back? 435 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,472 Oh, I thought you didn't want to be involved. 436 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,932 What? Naw, girl, I am all in. 437 00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:35,684 Not like there's anything to be in about. 438 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,394 Everything's totes normal sauce over here. 439 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,104 Yes, it is totes normal sauce. 440 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,773 As Edward just texted that 441 00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,441 he's on his way to see me. 442 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,485 Isn't that great? It is. 443 00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,986 You know what you should do? 444 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,946 You shouldn't be here when he gets here. 445 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,657 You know, you want to play it hard to get. 446 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,576 Maybe go home or use that bunker 447 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,619 that you've been talking about. 448 00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:54,995 Really? Mm. 449 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,663 Tina suggested I coat myself in olive oil 450 00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,481 and serve myself up like human sushi. 451 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,543 No. Um... What? 452 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:05,380 You want allure. You want mystery. 453 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,424 Come on, let's get you out of here. 454 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,426 Edward. 455 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,553 Lexi. What's wrong? You look distressed. 456 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:12,888 Did you accidentally eat a gluten? 457 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,264 Nell told me what's been going on. 458 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,266 First you call yourself my girlfriend... 459 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,684 That was my bad. 460 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:18,936 When we haven't had a discussion 461 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,687 about what we are yet. 462 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:23,273 And then I hear you're talking to people in the office 463 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,900 about the status of our relationship. 464 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,653 Just Tina. And who's she gonna tell, her dolls? 465 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,488 And you're sending me dozens and dozens of texts, 466 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,312 and it's starting to make me feel overwhelmed. 467 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,744 Well, then, it seems we have a lot to discuss. 468 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,603 Yes. We do. 469 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,628 You guys, look at them. 470 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,923 It's my fault. They're gonna break up. 471 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,591 Isn't that what you wanted? 472 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,218 What? 473 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,637 No, I mean, not like this. 474 00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,264 I-I just thought they'd get annoyed with each other 475 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,224 like everyone else. 476 00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,434 So we had a very long conversation, 477 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,353 and we've reached an understanding. 478 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,938 Neither of us know what this is, 479 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,065 but we like each other, and we're gonna go 480 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,401 on a formal date to see where it may lead. 481 00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:08,944 Hey, that's awesome. 482 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,737 Yes, but we do still have a major issue 483 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,823 in our relationship. 484 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:15,450 I'm sure the two of you can... It's you, Nell. 485 00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:17,035 Me? You got way too involved 486 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,745 in our relationship tonight. 487 00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,247 What we're saying is we're going to need you 488 00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,790 to respect our boundaries. 489 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,584 That's all I've been trying to do. 490 00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:25,878 See, I told you she would make it all about her. 491 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:29,464 No, no, I-I just want to do my work and go home. 492 00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:32,092 But no. I can't escape the two of you and your drama. 493 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,635 It is not my fault the two of you 494 00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:34,761 do not know how to communicate. 495 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,597 Hey, slick. Yeah? 496 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:37,764 Can I borrow you for a second? Yeah. 497 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:40,100 Ah! 498 00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:43,854 ♪ Oh, Duncan Boy ♪ 499 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:49,878 ♪ The bulbs, the bulbs are dying ♪ 500 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:53,572 Could your sadness just be, like, a little less musical? 501 00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:55,407 Forgive me. 502 00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:58,202 I just learned that I'm a husk of a man 503 00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,995 with nothing left to offer. 504 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,498 I'm sorry. Are you depressed right now? 505 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:07,544 You have money and power and Scotch 506 00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:10,088 that tastes like it was made by baby angels. 507 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:13,425 If anybody gets to be depressed right now, it is me. 508 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,910 Because nobody respects the Lifestyle editor. 509 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,431 I'm gonna let you in on a secret. 510 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,558 I've been looking at our circulation, 511 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:24,436 and people do not buy this paper to read about 512 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:27,272 what's going on in the world. 513 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:31,259 They buy it for the Lifestyle section. 514 00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:34,196 Wow. 515 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,448 Mm. Thank you. 516 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:39,326 I really needed to hear that. 517 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,036 So does that mean I get a raise? 518 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,496 I can't help you with that. 519 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,564 Okay. 520 00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:50,754 ♪ From glen to glen ♪ 521 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:53,006 Please tell me you do not live on the roof 522 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,633 of the parking structure. 523 00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,802 It's just a private spot I like to go to 524 00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:59,054 when I'm about to go off on my boss. 525 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,807 Okay, I see where this is going. 526 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:03,475 I'm terrible at setting boundaries. 527 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,894 No, you're great at setting boundaries. 528 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,605 You just suck at keeping them. 529 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,732 Turns out when Nell Serrano cares about somebody, 530 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,402 she can't help but get involved. 531 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,903 I hope I'm not overstepping any boundaries 532 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,989 when I say I think you want 533 00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:19,241 Edward and Lexi to be a couple. 534 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:22,369 What? No. Do I? Yes. Damn it. 535 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:23,829 Sorry. 536 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,289 I just... I want them to be happy. 537 00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:28,625 I do, and it seems like they're happy. 538 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:32,087 But, you know, all the robust sexing 539 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:36,091 and Lexi in my personal space, 540 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,093 it's gonna suck for me. Well 541 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,429 when you feel overwhelmed, you can always come up here. 542 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,807 Here? Oh, but this is your creepy nook. 543 00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,934 It's creepy enough for the both of us. 544 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:49,146 I don't know. And look. 545 00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,213 We got beers. What? 546 00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,610 Warm, and possibly expired. 547 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,655 Well, it never stopped me before. 548 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,532 So when do you have to get back 549 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,826 to your sports-nado? 550 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,537 Oh, that ended a few hours ago. 551 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:08,624 Just want to stick around and make sure you were okay. 552 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,441 That's incredibly sweet. 553 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:17,424 All right. 554 00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:18,717 You can have the cold one. 555 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:22,304 There was a cold one this whole time? 556 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,640 Give me that! 557 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,475 Eyes up, team. 558 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:29,227 We have officially made our deadline. 559 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,295 This news-valanche is over! 560 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,403 Hey, sport, you know, I had my doubts, 561 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:41,406 but I got to admit, you showed a lot of guts tonight. 562 00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,200 I'm so tired. I just want to see my family. 563 00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,267 That's disappointing. 564 00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:50,749 Oh, Sam, I am so sorry I made you babysit him. 565 00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:54,169 You are so much more valuable than that. 566 00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,545 Oh, yeah, I know that now. 567 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,488 Good. 568 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:01,635 I'm gonna get in on this. 569 00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,762 Yeah. 570 00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,223 Hey! 571 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,581 Mm! 572 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,712 Guys. 573 00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,400 Did you fall asleep standing u... Oh! 574 00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:19,552 Whoa. Oh, there's a lot of dead weight here. 575 00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,473 Ah! 576 00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,789 Ugh. 577 00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:31,939 Nell, are you awake? 578 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,001 What can I do for you, Lexi? 579 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,378 I've done some reflection, 580 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,588 which is something that I normally despise. 581 00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:40,382 But I've realized that Edward and I 582 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:41,633 take up space in your life. 583 00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:44,553 Yes. Nighty night. 584 00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,680 And after our argument last night, 585 00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:49,516 we plan to have a lot of vigorous sex this evening. 586 00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:52,585 So I thought that you deserved some quiet. 587 00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,818 Wha... 588 00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:02,612 A complimentary night at the Waldorf? 589 00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:05,157 Yes, and unlike a motel, when you leave your room, 590 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,575 you're still inside a building. 591 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,350 This is so nice. 592 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:13,498 I would have thought you'd use this for you and Edward, 593 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,333 but for me? 594 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,210 Yes, that is a better idea, isn't it? 595 00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:18,628 Oh. 596 00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,696 Edward, we're going to the Waldorf!41617

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