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1
00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:05,773
What? No soap?
2
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:06,882
Ugh!
3
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,653
C'mon. Oh!
4
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,280
Where are the towels?
5
00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,181
Come on!
6
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:17,726
Ugh!
7
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,749
Ugh! What happened
with all my face wash?
8
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,626
You have toilet
paper on your face.
9
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,794
Yeah, 'cause my
towel's also gone.
10
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,880
And I know it's not you
because you're very particular,
11
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:30,965
but could you please tell
Lexi to stop using my stuff?
12
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,800
Nope. Can't do it. Why?
13
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,427
Our relationship
is purely sexual,
14
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,929
and that falls outside the
purview of our dynamic.
15
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,847
But you could talk to her.
16
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:38,973
Mm. And while you are,
17
00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,308
would you please
ask her to not use
18
00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:41,643
my sushi knife to
cut her bread? No.
19
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,645
She's your
20
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:45,522
whatever she is.
21
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:49,359
I just want my
Cetaphil and my space.
22
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,652
I understand.
23
00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:51,802
Well, see you later.
24
00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,828
Oh, my God. What are
you doing in here?
25
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,038
Oh, I hope you don't mind.
26
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,581
I just needed some space.
27
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,375
Uh, Edward just went to work.
28
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,793
You could always use his room.
29
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,670
Oh, but his mattress is so flat
30
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,380
from all of our robust sexing.
31
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,923
Yours is like new.
32
00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:14,425
Still so plush and fluffy.
33
00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:17,762
Thank you. So now
that our liaisons
34
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,180
are out in the open,
35
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:20,473
I guess I'm not sure what
36
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,808
Edward and I are to one another.
37
00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:24,560
Are we courting? Am I his boo?
38
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,604
Either way, I'd like to get
him a token of my admiration.
39
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,273
And I need your help. Oh, yeah,
40
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,941
I-I-I'd prefer not to chime in,
41
00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:31,693
because, you know,
you're my boss.
42
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:33,403
But you know him so well,
43
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,220
and he only knows my
bathing suit area.
44
00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,907
Oh, I could get him a razor
45
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,201
or a wallet. Shoot.
46
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,744
Got to get to work. Of course.
47
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:42,870
We'll continue this later.
48
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:44,414
Wa... We will?
49
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,832
We work together, silly.
50
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,816
We have all day to discuss this.
51
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:51,820
Captions by VITAC...
52
00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:59,595
And so, another workday
draws to a close.
53
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,724
As you return to
your tiny apartments,
54
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:05,751
just know that you have
done an adequate job.
55
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,062
Oh, my.
56
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,605
Oh, I am so sorry, Mr. Rhodes.
57
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:10,898
I really need to
watch where I'm going.
58
00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,483
Geez, I'm a menace.
59
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:13,860
Dennis the Menace.
60
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,320
You do realize that we have
61
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:17,655
a very strict drug
policy here, right?
62
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,616
Oh, God. No, I-I-I'm not on...
63
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,117
You on the booger sugar?
64
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,702
No? You're not?
No. Absolutely not.
65
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,580
No. Never. Okay.
Relax around me.
66
00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:27,415
Okay? Okay. Thank you, sir.
67
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:28,666
Boo.
68
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,209
Okay.
69
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,544
Yeah.
70
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,421
That was very funny, Mr. Rhodes.
71
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,340
Wow.
72
00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:36,716
How bad was that?
73
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,468
Why are you so
nervous around him?
74
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:39,636
I don't know, because
he owns the paper
75
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,471
and he's built like a redwood.
76
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,681
Dennis, Duncan is no
more than a egotistical,
77
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,266
out-of-touch narcissist.
78
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,018
There's no reason to
be intimidated by him.
79
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,895
Dennis, we've got breaking news.
80
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,480
A big fire on the 5 Freeway.
81
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,482
But I was just
about to head out.
82
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,150
Okay, I'll call
them and tell them
83
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,777
to keep it lightly burning
84
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:56,778
until it's a better
time for you.
85
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,821
It's a fire, Dennis!
86
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,282
Fine. Send Kevin to the
scene and I'll get a comment
87
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:03,534
from the fire chief. All right.
88
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:04,869
Girl, you are so lucky
89
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,245
you're just the
Lifestyle editor.
90
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:08,706
Yeah.
91
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,291
Just the Lifestyle editor.
92
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,293
Whoa! Hey, hey, hey!
93
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,795
Shh! What are you... What? What?
94
00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:15,421
What?
95
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,465
I've been working
in here all day.
96
00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,633
Baby, I told you not to eat that
97
00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,051
vending machine tuna salad.
98
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:22,261
No, I'm hiding from Lexi.
99
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,013
Ever since I found
out what's going on
100
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,264
between her and
Edward, she's been
101
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:27,350
asking me relationship
questions.
102
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,726
Go easy on her, okay?
103
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,728
She hasn't dated
in like 15 years.
104
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:31,896
This is really hard for her.
105
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,273
It's really hard for me, too.
106
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,401
Yesterday, she came
into the bathroom
107
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,069
while I was going.
108
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,779
Brah, do you know how invasive
109
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,280
that is?
110
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,157
Yes, I do.
111
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,266
Oh.
112
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,787
Cheryl's not a hand washer. Ugh!
113
00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,163
Good to know. Trust me,
114
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,331
I know Lexi can be a lot,
115
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,707
but it can't be that bad.
116
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,584
She used my lipliner
to do her Sudoku.
117
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,336
Yeah, we got to get you out.
This is disgusting. Thank you.
118
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,546
Let's go. Has anyone seen
119
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:57,863
Nell Serrano?
120
00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:00,925
Go!
121
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:01,760
Go, go, go, go, go. Go left.
122
00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:02,761
Left. Left.
123
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:03,762
Your other left.
124
00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:05,179
Your oth...
125
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,597
Your other left.
126
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,349
Go straight.
127
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,434
Now go around that desk.
128
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,185
About 5'3"? Disheveled?
129
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:13,187
Straight. Straight.
130
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,188
Take a right.
131
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,731
Take a right.
132
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,775
Down. Well, this is a problem.
133
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,485
Lower. I need to know
where she is at all times.
134
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,636
Get lower. We should be
putting trackers on her.
135
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,701
Oh. Hey, you.
136
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:29,245
Hey, Lara Croft. Hey.
137
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,663
Sorry, uh...
138
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,540
Lexi's sorta dating my roommate,
139
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,292
and I'm just, uh, trying
not to get involved.
140
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:35,418
Sounds sorta complicated.
141
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,086
Ah.
142
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,754
Instead of dive rolling,
have you thought
143
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:41,924
of maybe setting some
boundaries with her?
144
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,509
Set boundaries with my boss?
145
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,428
No.
146
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,430
I mean, if I say something
that offends her,
147
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,640
she might, you know, make me
an obituary writer forever.
148
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,559
I'll just stick to
hiding. In that case,
149
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,728
there's a clear path to the...
150
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,545
Bye... Elevator.
151
00:04:57,631 --> 00:05:00,526
Murmur, murmur, murmur.
152
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,862
Oh! Nell! There you are!
153
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,364
Huh? Lexi. Where have you been?
154
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,866
I've been thinking on
the gift for Edward,
155
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:07,826
and I've decided to purchase him
156
00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:09,619
a new cellphone case.
157
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,204
Can't you just talk
to Sam about this?
158
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,914
No. She doesn't know
Edward like you do.
159
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,457
And she frequently
forgets his name
160
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,334
and refers to him
as "Scrawny Johnny."
161
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:18,419
Please, Nell, I need your help.
162
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,087
Yeah, it's ju... All
right, listen up, people.
163
00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,964
Huh? Got a freeway fire,
164
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:23,716
a mountain lion
loose in Altadena,
165
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,010
and now a state senator
caught taking bribes.
166
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,804
Call your families, tell
them you will not be
167
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,347
coming home for dinner tonight.
168
00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,414
We got ourselves
a news-valanche.
169
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,185
News-valanche. Bummer.
170
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,353
Okay. Good night.
171
00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:36,938
Nell, hold up. Huh?
172
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,314
It's gonna be a busy
night for you, also.
173
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,982
Why? Two
ambulance-chasing lawyers
174
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,734
were on their way
to the freeway fire
175
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,970
when, ironically, they crashed
into an ambulance and died.
176
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,390
Try not to make it funny. Okay.
177
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:51,035
Well, this is perfect. Yeah.
178
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,495
This means that you and I
are going to be together
179
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,830
all night.
180
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,331
Yay!
181
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,707
Yay! Yay!
182
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:57,774
Yay!
183
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,381
What the hell is
a news-valanche?
184
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,757
Oh, every once in a while,
185
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:05,925
several big news stories
break all at once,
186
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:06,843
and we have to cover them all
187
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,261
for the morning edition.
188
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:09,679
It's an avalanche of news
189
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,931
or, if you will,
a "news-valanche."
190
00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,433
So you think the kid
really has enough backbone
191
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,060
to run this thing? Oh, yeah,
192
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,437
a news-valanche is where
Dennis really shines.
193
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,772
Cheryl, I still need a comment
194
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,357
on the bribery
scandal. On it, Boss.
195
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,734
Mason, where are
we with the pizzas?
196
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,236
Well, I-I... "I-I-I..."
197
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,696
What are you, an optometrist?
198
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,155
Get us the pizzas
here, I don't care
199
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,907
if you have to
bake them yourself.
200
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,534
Hmm. Not bad. All
right, come on, people.
201
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,994
Let's see some hustle.
202
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,954
If you wanted a job
with short work hours,
203
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,289
you should have become a DJ.
204
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,480
Finally. Thank you.
205
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,209
So, who are these
obituaries for?
206
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,377
Partners at a law firm.
207
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,587
Jerry Grady and Greg Blitt.
208
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:44,422
Oh, I know their commercials.
209
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,882
♪ Call injury attorneys
Grady and Blitt ♪
210
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:50,636
♪ We'll get you a
settlement lickety-split ♪
211
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,388
Your name just had to go
before mine, didn't it?
212
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,015
It's a jingle. Has
to rhyme, dumb-ass.
213
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,349
You're the dumb-ass, dumb-ass.
214
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,851
Oh, you are so lucky
you get to go home.
215
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,811
Oh, I'm not leaving.
Last news-valanche I left
216
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:01,230
because they didn't need
the Lifestyle editor,
217
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,523
and I missed all the excitement.
218
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,442
Not to mention the inside jokes.
219
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:05,943
I mean, I still don't know why
220
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,427
they call Steve "Wet Steve."
221
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,741
I totally forgot
about "Wet Steve"!
222
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,410
That was the great...
that... You didn't...
223
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,996
Pbht. You didn't miss nothing.
224
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:17,748
All right, I'm gonna
go see if Dennis
225
00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:18,914
needs me for anything.
226
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,666
Okay. Bye.
227
00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,586
Okay. Let's get
these obits done.
228
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,171
Be sure to mention that
when he hit that ambulance,
229
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:26,547
he was looking at the car radio.
230
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:27,548
Yeah, because I
didn't want to listen
231
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:28,591
to the Goo Goo Dolls,
232
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,925
unlike some wusses I work with.
233
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,594
Their music is very uplifting!
234
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,971
Okay, I need some
coffee for this.
235
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,265
Hey, little buddy,
color me impressed
236
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,476
with the way you're
running the ship here.
237
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,478
I'm not a journalist, per se.
238
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:44,190
I purchased the paper just to
fill out my vast portfolio.
239
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,608
But I have to say, it's so fun
240
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,652
watching everyone scurry around.
241
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,570
Dennis, Wet Steve got the copier
242
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,322
all wet and now it's broken.
243
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,782
Oh, damn it, Wet Steve.
244
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,200
You know, I used
to be a repairman
245
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:56,285
before I built my
lightbulb empire.
246
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,912
I could probably fix that.
247
00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,538
Great. Yes, just do that.
248
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:00,665
I charge 80 bucks an hour.
249
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:01,707
Fine.
250
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,251
I'm kidding.
251
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,735
I'm a katrillionaire.
252
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,714
Ah!
253
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,508
Come on.
254
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,259
Ugh!
255
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,011
Please, please step aside, sir.
256
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,763
You see, the trick is
257
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:18,474
to give it a good whack
on the right side.
258
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,518
Right about...
259
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,645
Hey! Oh!
260
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,231
That's a score.
261
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,732
A twofer.
262
00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,401
Wow. Two? What am I
gonna do with two?
263
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,736
Milady?
264
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:31,821
Stop! Yeah.
265
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,781
Funyuns for dinner?
266
00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,324
You betcha.
267
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,492
What are you still doing here?
268
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,119
Well, it's March Madness,
269
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,621
the Miami Open,
and the Gold Cup.
270
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:41,872
It's what we call
271
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:44,583
a "sports-nado." Sports-nado.
272
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,419
How's the situation with
Lexi? It's stressful,
273
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,629
but work seems to
be keeping her busy.
274
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,756
Oh, Nell, I texted Edward
to find out what he'd like,
275
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,633
but he hasn't gotten back to
me, and it's been 10 minutes.
276
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,260
What should I do? Do I
send him an "e-mo-zhi"?
277
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,637
Uh, L-Lexi?
278
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,597
Um...
279
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,433
I think we should
set some boundaries
280
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:01,600
to keep our work life
281
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,561
and our personal life separate.
282
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,563
Maybe there's someone else
you can talk to about this.
283
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,022
Quit your begging.
Yes, I'll help you
284
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,691
with your love life.
Oh, I don't think
285
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,359
you're the person I
need to be... Lexi.
286
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,819
I've had more boos,
baes, and zaddies
287
00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,446
than you can imagine.
Is she serious?
288
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,239
I've seen her HR file. Oh.
289
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,907
Hey, if you wanna
keep getting ghosted,
290
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,534
it's no skin off my back.
291
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,536
But if you want to hook
that marlin, come with me.
292
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,872
I guess I'm going deep
sea fishing with Tina.
293
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,707
Oh. Oh.
294
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,625
Hey, Jared, there's
no "u" in "inferno."
295
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,669
Anything I can do
to help? Right now,
296
00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:30,504
all of the reporters are on
crunch time, but thank you.
297
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,131
I'm a reporter. I mean, I
went to journalism school.
298
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:33,841
Yes, I know. This
is an emergency,
299
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,134
not a fashion emergency.
300
00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,510
But, hey, if that
mountain lion shows up
301
00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,720
in culottes, I
will let you know.
302
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:38,929
How's it going, Boss?
303
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,389
I call you "Boss" ironically,
304
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,725
because, well,
obviously I'm your boss.
305
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,394
So I rolled up the
old shirt sleeves,
306
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,855
handmade in "Barthelona,"
307
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,815
and, uh, got under the
hood of that copier.
308
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,442
Yes. Great, great.
So then it's fixed.
309
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,278
Oh, no, no, it isn't.
It's a... It's a mess.
310
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,447
No. No, no. No.
311
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,324
It's funny, when I started
in the lightbulb biz,
312
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,367
things were built to last.
313
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:01,577
You know what they used to do?
314
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,412
They would... They
would coat the bulb
315
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,789
in a silica and...
316
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,832
Cram your bulbs, Duncan!
317
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,024
What?
318
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,463
If you want to be a team player,
319
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,381
I need you to start
acting like it.
320
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:17,092
I need your loyalty.
I need your expertise.
321
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:20,054
Right now, our light
table is broken,
322
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:21,555
and if we do not fix it,
323
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:25,518
we do not get to lay
out the morning edition.
324
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:28,711
Can I count on you to fix it?
325
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,736
You got it, Boss.
326
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,679
And that time I meant it.
327
00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:39,658
Sam, go with him.
328
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,408
Oh. What now?
329
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:44,036
So, tell me how you guys met.
330
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,621
Oh, you mean the
worst day of my life
331
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:46,622
including today, when I died
332
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,082
in a massive fireball?
333
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:50,709
And here we go. I
wanted to help people
334
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,920
by being a pro bono
defense attorney.
335
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,713
But then he talked me
into personal injury law,
336
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,257
and now our faces
are on billboards
337
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,383
and urinal cakes.
338
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:58,717
I've texted Edward 26 times,
339
00:10:58,741 --> 00:10:59,678
and he still hasn't responded.
340
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:00,970
Normally, I would fire him,
341
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,471
but that doesn't
feel applicable here.
342
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,640
Trust me. Keep
texting him. Really?
343
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,016
Mm-hmm. Okay.
344
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,060
Oh, I-I really
don't think that...
345
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,436
Nope, no, no, not
getting involved.
346
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,772
Those urinal cakes
paid for our boat.
347
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,108
It's your boat. I
would never buy a boat.
348
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,192
And if I did, I
wouldn't name it.
349
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,735
Hit It & Acquit It.
350
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,445
Should I send someone
to drive by his house?
351
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,447
Lexi, come on.
352
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,116
Of course that's the right
thing to do. I knew it.
353
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,743
Oh, my God, I have to go
work somewhere quieter,
354
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,620
like a Chuck E. Cheese.
355
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,730
Oh. It's, uh...
356
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:37,548
You know, when I started
out as a repairman,
357
00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:39,258
I was so broke, the
only thing I had
358
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:41,844
were my grandfather's tools
359
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:45,014
and this beat-up van
I used to sleep in.
360
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,516
I ate beans for every meal
361
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,518
for like eight months.
362
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,604
Hey, do you know what
the best dessert bean is?
363
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,856
Mnh-mnh. Pinto.
364
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,233
Wow. I had no idea.
365
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:59,069
The pinto is the
most versatile bean.
366
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,863
No, I mean, I had no idea
367
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,656
that you were a self-made man.
368
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:06,577
You just seem so... elitist.
369
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:08,746
Thank you.
370
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:10,289
All right, now,
371
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,416
let's see what we got here, huh?
372
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,584
Come on, baby.
373
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:16,670
Ha ha! Look at that.
374
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,464
All right, I guess
I'm just gonna go
375
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,633
tell everyone that
old man Rhodes
376
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,509
is still pretty useful.
377
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,011
Yeah. No, wait. Stop.
378
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:25,596
Actually, I can't
let you go out there,
379
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,473
'cause now I realize that
you are a human being
380
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:30,559
with something approximating
human emotions.
381
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,645
W-W-What do you mean? I
just fixed this bad boy.
382
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:35,689
Actually, um, we use a computer
to do all of our layouts.
383
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,858
We have since the '90s.
384
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:41,278
This is... an antique.
385
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,447
Like me.
386
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:45,282
Mm-hmm.
387
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,659
So I guess Dennis thinks
388
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:49,912
that I'm so useless that, uh
389
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:52,122
he has to give me
a babysitter, huh?
390
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:55,876
I'm so useless I need
to be your babysitter.
391
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,568
Mine's worse.
392
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:00,905
Hey. Hey.
393
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,759
Don't you have a sports-quake
394
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,010
to be working on?
395
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,554
Um, it's called a "sports-nado."
396
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,473
Oh.
397
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:11,308
And I'm on break. How you doing?
398
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,018
Okay. I came here to focus,
399
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,896
but all I can think about
is how annoying Lexi is.
400
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,272
You know, Edward is
not gonna respond well
401
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:18,482
to all those texts.
402
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:19,775
He gets upset when
there's, like,
403
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,902
too many marshmallows
in his cocoa.
404
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,821
I'm sure they'll work it out.
405
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,656
Yeah, but they're both
just so weird about dating
406
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,491
and they don't know
how to communicate.
407
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,410
I-I think I'm gonna get
involved just this one time.
408
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:30,560
Just...
409
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,710
Yello. Dude, why aren't you
410
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,628
responding to Lexi's texts?
411
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,588
I got overwhelmed after
three consistent texts,
412
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,132
so I muted my messages.
413
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,842
Well, just please respond
to your girlfriend.
414
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,343
Thank you. Bye.
415
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:50,139
See? Just needed a little nudge.
416
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,433
Problem solved.
417
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:53,892
Okay.
418
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,603
He's probably calling
me back to thank me.
419
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,772
Mm-hmm? My girlfriend?
420
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:00,399
Did she call herself that?
421
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,026
I mean, I don't...
422
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,318
I don't... I think maybe
Tina might have said it.
423
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,571
Tina? Who's Tina?
424
00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:06,822
Is Lexi talking to other people
425
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,323
about our relationship?
426
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:09,616
Uh... I could get past
427
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,784
the 47 text messages,
428
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:11,869
but the rest of this
429
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:12,894
is very concerning.
430
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,793
It's all gonna be fine.
431
00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,778
Really? Oh. Definitely not.
432
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,009
Hey, fam!
433
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,761
So what's the sitch
on the texting, huh?
434
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,429
Did, uh, Edward hit you back?
435
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,472
Oh, I thought you didn't
want to be involved.
436
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,932
What? Naw, girl, I am all in.
437
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:35,684
Not like there's
anything to be in about.
438
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,394
Everything's totes
normal sauce over here.
439
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,104
Yes, it is totes normal sauce.
440
00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,773
As Edward just texted that
441
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,441
he's on his way to see me.
442
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,485
Isn't that great? It is.
443
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,986
You know what you should do?
444
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,946
You shouldn't be here
when he gets here.
445
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,657
You know, you want to
play it hard to get.
446
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,576
Maybe go home or use that bunker
447
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,619
that you've been talking about.
448
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:54,995
Really? Mm.
449
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,663
Tina suggested I coat
myself in olive oil
450
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,481
and serve myself up
like human sushi.
451
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,543
No. Um... What?
452
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:05,380
You want allure.
You want mystery.
453
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,424
Come on, let's get
you out of here.
454
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,426
Edward.
455
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,553
Lexi. What's wrong?
You look distressed.
456
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:12,888
Did you accidentally
eat a gluten?
457
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,264
Nell told me what's
been going on.
458
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,266
First you call yourself
my girlfriend...
459
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,684
That was my bad.
460
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:18,936
When we haven't had a discussion
461
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,687
about what we are yet.
462
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:23,273
And then I hear you're talking
to people in the office
463
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,900
about the status of
our relationship.
464
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,653
Just Tina. And who's she
gonna tell, her dolls?
465
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,488
And you're sending me
dozens and dozens of texts,
466
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,312
and it's starting to
make me feel overwhelmed.
467
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,744
Well, then, it seems we
have a lot to discuss.
468
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,603
Yes. We do.
469
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,628
You guys, look at them.
470
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,923
It's my fault. They're
gonna break up.
471
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:49,591
Isn't that what you wanted?
472
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,218
What?
473
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,637
No, I mean, not like this.
474
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,264
I-I just thought they'd
get annoyed with each other
475
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,224
like everyone else.
476
00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,434
So we had a very
long conversation,
477
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,353
and we've reached
an understanding.
478
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,938
Neither of us know what this is,
479
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,065
but we like each other,
and we're gonna go
480
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,401
on a formal date to
see where it may lead.
481
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:08,944
Hey, that's awesome.
482
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,737
Yes, but we do still
have a major issue
483
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,823
in our relationship.
484
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:15,450
I'm sure the two of you
can... It's you, Nell.
485
00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:17,035
Me? You got way too involved
486
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,745
in our relationship tonight.
487
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,247
What we're saying is
we're going to need you
488
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:21,790
to respect our boundaries.
489
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,584
That's all I've
been trying to do.
490
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:25,878
See, I told you she would
make it all about her.
491
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:29,464
No, no, I-I just want to
do my work and go home.
492
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:32,092
But no. I can't escape the
two of you and your drama.
493
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:33,635
It is not my fault
the two of you
494
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:34,761
do not know how to communicate.
495
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,597
Hey, slick. Yeah?
496
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:37,764
Can I borrow you
for a second? Yeah.
497
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:40,100
Ah!
498
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:43,854
♪ Oh, Duncan Boy ♪
499
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:49,878
♪ The bulbs, the
bulbs are dying ♪
500
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:53,572
Could your sadness just be,
like, a little less musical?
501
00:16:53,596 --> 00:16:55,407
Forgive me.
502
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:58,202
I just learned that
I'm a husk of a man
503
00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,995
with nothing left to offer.
504
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,498
I'm sorry. Are you
depressed right now?
505
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:07,544
You have money and
power and Scotch
506
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:10,088
that tastes like it was
made by baby angels.
507
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:13,425
If anybody gets to be
depressed right now, it is me.
508
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,910
Because nobody respects
the Lifestyle editor.
509
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,431
I'm gonna let you
in on a secret.
510
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,558
I've been looking
at our circulation,
511
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:24,436
and people do not buy
this paper to read about
512
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:27,272
what's going on in the world.
513
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:31,259
They buy it for the
Lifestyle section.
514
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:34,196
Wow.
515
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,448
Mm. Thank you.
516
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:39,326
I really needed to hear that.
517
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,036
So does that mean I get a raise?
518
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,496
I can't help you with that.
519
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,564
Okay.
520
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:50,754
♪ From glen to glen ♪
521
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:53,006
Please tell me you do
not live on the roof
522
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,633
of the parking structure.
523
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,802
It's just a private
spot I like to go to
524
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:59,054
when I'm about to
go off on my boss.
525
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,807
Okay, I see where this is going.
526
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:03,475
I'm terrible at
setting boundaries.
527
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,894
No, you're great at
setting boundaries.
528
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,605
You just suck at keeping them.
529
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,732
Turns out when Nell Serrano
cares about somebody,
530
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,402
she can't help but get involved.
531
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,903
I hope I'm not
overstepping any boundaries
532
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,989
when I say I think you want
533
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:19,241
Edward and Lexi to be a couple.
534
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:22,369
What? No. Do I? Yes. Damn it.
535
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:23,829
Sorry.
536
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,289
I just... I want
them to be happy.
537
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:28,625
I do, and it seems
like they're happy.
538
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:32,087
But, you know, all
the robust sexing
539
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:36,091
and Lexi in my personal space,
540
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,093
it's gonna suck for me. Well
541
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,429
when you feel overwhelmed,
you can always come up here.
542
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,807
Here? Oh, but this
is your creepy nook.
543
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,934
It's creepy enough
for the both of us.
544
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:49,146
I don't know. And look.
545
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,213
We got beers. What?
546
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:55,610
Warm, and possibly expired.
547
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,655
Well, it never
stopped me before.
548
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,532
So when do you have to get back
549
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,826
to your sports-nado?
550
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,537
Oh, that ended a few hours ago.
551
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:08,624
Just want to stick around
and make sure you were okay.
552
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,441
That's incredibly sweet.
553
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:17,424
All right.
554
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:18,717
You can have the cold one.
555
00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:22,304
There was a cold
one this whole time?
556
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,640
Give me that!
557
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,475
Eyes up, team.
558
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:29,227
We have officially
made our deadline.
559
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,295
This news-valanche is over!
560
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,403
Hey, sport, you know,
I had my doubts,
561
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:41,406
but I got to admit, you
showed a lot of guts tonight.
562
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,200
I'm so tired. I just
want to see my family.
563
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,267
That's disappointing.
564
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:50,749
Oh, Sam, I am so sorry
I made you babysit him.
565
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:54,169
You are so much more
valuable than that.
566
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:55,545
Oh, yeah, I know that now.
567
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,488
Good.
568
00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:01,635
I'm gonna get in on this.
569
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,762
Yeah.
570
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,223
Hey!
571
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,581
Mm!
572
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,712
Guys.
573
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,400
Did you fall asleep
standing u... Oh!
574
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:19,552
Whoa. Oh, there's a lot
of dead weight here.
575
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,473
Ah!
576
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,789
Ugh.
577
00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:31,939
Nell, are you awake?
578
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,001
What can I do for you, Lexi?
579
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,378
I've done some reflection,
580
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:38,588
which is something that
I normally despise.
581
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:40,382
But I've realized
that Edward and I
582
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:41,633
take up space in your life.
583
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:44,553
Yes. Nighty night.
584
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,680
And after our
argument last night,
585
00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:49,516
we plan to have a lot of
vigorous sex this evening.
586
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:52,585
So I thought that you
deserved some quiet.
587
00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,818
Wha...
588
00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:02,612
A complimentary
night at the Waldorf?
589
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:05,157
Yes, and unlike a motel,
when you leave your room,
590
00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,575
you're still inside a building.
591
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,350
This is so nice.
592
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:13,498
I would have thought you'd
use this for you and Edward,
593
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,333
but for me?
594
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,210
Yes, that is a better
idea, isn't it?
595
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:18,628
Oh.
596
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,696
Edward, we're going
to the Waldorf!41617
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