All language subtitles for Andy Griffith S08E11 Andys Investment.DVDRip.HI.cc.eng.EN

(WHISTLING)

Aunt Bee.

Knowledge is...

Knowledge is...

Hi, Aunt Bee.
Andy, what's knowledge?

What?
Is...

I've started this
and I can't finish it.
Knowledge is...

Oh, for that.
Uh, um, ahem...
Hmm.

Let's see. Well...
Knowledge is power.

No, that sounds too military.

Well, how 'bout, um,

knowledge is the tool of life.

Good, Andy, good.

Knowledge is the tool of life.

Who said it?
Me.

Oh, I thought maybe
it might be somebody
like Shakespeare.

No, I beat him to it this time.

What is that?

That is a collegiate dictionary

for Louise Spooner's boy,
Willis, from Hartford,
remember?

Oh, yeah, Willis,
the one with the adenoids.

He had them taken out
and Louise says he talks
like anybody else now.

Good. What college
is he going to?

He's going to a small college
in Connecticut that
has very low requirements.

I mean,
Louise didn't write that.

I got that from
Harriet Cleaver
in South Bend.

Oh.

Oh, I wish
he were going to Yale.

It's so nearby
and it's such
a lovely campus.

Saw it in
a Jack Oakie movie once.

All the boys
in their college sweaters

and their white duck
pants I don't know.

Somehow Willis
never seemed like
the Yale type to me.

Well, it would have done him
a world of good.

There seemed to be
such a feeling
of friendliness.

The boys were always standing
in front of the fireplace,

singing "Boola Boola."

You know, I was just thinking.

We'll be going through
this same thing
with Opie pretty soon.

Opie? College?

Yeah. He graduates
junior high, then high school,
and then he's off.

He's still such a child.

Hmm.

Hi, Aunt Bee.
Hi, Paw.
Oh, hi, Ope.

(SIGHING)

Is something wrong?
Oh, no, no, Opie.

We were just talking
about your going to college.

Oh, yeah.

Arnold and I were talking
about that just the other day.

He wants to be a doctor
like his father.

I don't know what
I want to be yet.

Well, you got plenty of time
to decide that.

Yeah.
Hmm.

Many guys in your class
planning to go to college?

About half and half.
Hmm.

Some of the kids' fathers
already told them they
can't afford to send 'em.

I guess it's kind
of expensive. Well, I got
to do my homework.

Well, um...

I wonder how expensive it is.

I don't know.

I never gave that part
of it much thought.
It seemed so far away.

Helen would know about it.

Yeah, that's a good idea.
Maybe I'll talk to her

and find out how much
a college education
costs these days.

How much?

Around $15,000
for the four-year course.

$15,000!

Well, that's impossible.

How many parents can afford
that kind of money?

Well, that's about
what it costs at many
of the private colleges.

Uh, of course,
it varies a little.

I had no idea it was that much.

Well, of course,
that includes everything,
Andy.

And you said private colleges.

How about one of
the state colleges?

The University
of North Carolina
at Chapel Hill?

Well, that would be
a lot less expensive.
About half.

There's practically
no tuition.
Oh...

Well, he could stay
at his Aunt Martha's.

She's always begging him
to come up there.

That's it.
That's the answer.

Well, he'd have
to be accepted first.

So?

Well, Andy, the requirements
at a lot of the state colleges

are even higher than at many
of the private institutions.

Uh, I mean right now,
it's a B average

and in a few years
when Opie's ready to go
it could even be a B-plus.

Oh.

And his work's
just about average,
a little better, C-plus.

(STAMMERING)
Isn't it possible
he could do better

by the time he gets
to high school?

Well, of course it's possible,
but high school's
even more difficult.

Oh.

Of course, I know
it's a long ways off.

$15,000.

You know how much I...
Everybody in town knows
how much I make.

I can't bank that kind of money.

I... I could afford
part of it, but...

Yeah, I know, I know
that some children
can't go to college.

Opie's not going
to be one of them.

Hi, Andy.
ANDY: Oh, hi, Howard,
Emmett.

Say, Andy, you want
to go bowling tonight?
We got an alley.

Gee, not tonight.
I don't think so.
Not in the mood.

What?
Anything wrong,
Andy?

I got a few problems.

I'm trying to figure a way
to send Opie through college.

Hey, what does
a thing like that
run these days?

About $15,000.

Wow.
$15,000! For what?

So a kid can learn
to jitterbug and wear his hair
over his eyes?

Oh, now.
Come on, Emmett.

I'd say that's
a mighty poor appraisal
of a college education.

You know, I often wonder
where I'd be today
if I hadn't gone

to an institution
of higher learning.

What institution
did you ever go to?

I happened to have attended
Bradbury Business College.

You mean that place
over in Mt. Pilot

up on the third floor
of the Essex Bank building?
That's right.

You call that a college?
You know the place, Andy.

Yeah, I've heard of it.

Their campus is
wall-to-wall linoleum.

Emmett, the important thing
is not where a college
is located,

it's what you come
away with. Knowledge

and warm friendships.

You graduated
from Bradbury, did you?
Oh, yeah.

Took the full
year-and-a-half course.

Know who else graduated
from Bradbury? Cyrus Whitley.

He's now doing five years
in prison for embezzlement.

HOWARD: Oh, Emmett.
EMMETT: He probably learned
how to embezzle in college.

Emmett, there's a bad apple
in every barrel

but you can't knock
a college education,

particularly in this age
of specialization.
It puts a kid way ahead.

Oh, I question that.

A kid gets out of high school,
he learns a trade.
I say he's just as far ahead

and he saves
his hard-working father
a lot of money.

Well, that's another way
of looking at it, yes.

But I want Opie
to go to college.

Well, it's your boy.
You don't want
to go bowling tonight?

No.
Okay. I'll see you.

Okay.

You know, Andy,
it would be
a great thing for Opie

if you could possibly
swing it.
Yeah.

But it looks like
I'm gonna have to fall into
a gold mine or something.

You ever thought of taking
on another job maybe?
A sideline of some kind.

Well, Howard,
being a sheriff's
a 24-hour job.

Yeah, I know.

Gee, there ought to be
some way you could work up
a little extra income.

Maybe start a small
business of some kind, huh?

I don't know
what it would be.
Yeah.

Well, if I get any
flashes, I'll call you.
Okay. Thanks, Howard.

Here you are.
Thank you.

Anything promising in there?

Oh, not yet.
Most of them
just aren't

the type of thing
I'm suited for.

Well, Andy, you
have to be flexible.

Okay.

"Be a pink lady.
Sell our line of cosmetics
door-to-door."

Now, I'm not that flexible.

Here's another one.

"Sell the Encyclopedia Europa

"and work your way
through summer camp
the easy way."

Anything in there for men?

Oh, sure.

"Take orders for suits
tailored in Hong Kong."

See, the trouble there,
I'd be known
as "Tailor Taylor."

Something in there
must make sense.

Well, yeah, but they all require

devoting a lot of time
to the business

and I can't even
think about those.

Hmm.

Something interesting?

Yeah, this part of it
makes sense.

"Business that operates
by itself.

"A few hours a week
of your time.

"Minimum investment,
maximum profits."

It's one of those franchises.
One of those coin-operated,

self-service laundries,
you know?

Yes. Yes, that's
worth investigating.

"Laundercoin, Incorporated."

I've never heard of that one,

but they have two
coin-operated laundries
in Mt. Pilot

and they're
jammed night and day.

Huh.

Hmm.

Gee, I don't know, though...

My getting involved
in a thing like this.

Well, I think one would go
in Mayberry.

There are several
empty stores
on Main Street.

Lots of people don't
have washing machines.

You'll be almost like
a public service.

Mmm-hmm.

Maybe, maybe, but, gee, I...

I just don't know.
OPIE: Paw!

Paw?

I was just talking
to Arnold about college.

I'm getting
real excited about it.
Oh, good, good.

And do you know
what we were saying?
No.

Well, Arnold's going to be
a doctor and I was thinking
maybe I'd be a dentist.

We could have our offices
together and everything.

Well, dentistry's
a wonderful profession, Opie.

You'd be in a position
to spare so many people

so much pain.
I know.

And I've got a steady hand, too.

You know how it is
when I use
your electric drill, Paw.

Oh, yeah. Real good.
Oh, we'd be so proud
of you, Opie.

Of course, that'd mean
I'd have to go to college
for four more years at least.

Four years regular
and four years dentistry.

Would that be too much
to spend for you, Paw?

Oh, oh, no, no.
I could swing that.
Good.

I'll see you. Arnold and I
were just talking about
where we want our offices.

(SIGHS)

Eight years.

I think maybe I better look
into this laundry business.

It's a dandy little store
and it's a dandy
little location.

(CHUCKLES)
Oh, well.

Now, you say it wouldn't
take much time?
Now, that's very important.

Well, figure it out yourself.

In the mornings all you do
is set out the bleaches
and the detergents

and check
the coin-changing machine
to see that it's full.

Time? 10 minutes.

And then in the evening,
you empty the coin boxes.
That's another 10 minutes.

And I'm sure that even
a busy sheriff like yourself

can afford
a couple of minutes a day
to earn an extra $200 a month.

$200.

You know, this is starting
to sound more and more

(CHUCKLING)
like the kind of thing
I'm looking for.

Now, why don't we
check this contract
and then

if there's anything in it
that you want explained,
why, I'd be happy to do it?

You see. Right here is...

(CHATTERING)

Uh, uh, ahem.
Well, listen, uh,
listen I, uh,

I, uh, appreciate all of you
coming out like this
on our first day.

(ALL LAUGHING)
It makes it kind of a
celebration, doesn't it?

You got a real great-looking
place here, Andy.
Oh, thanks.

All the luck
in the world, Andy.
Thanks, Howard.

(CHUCKLING)
That's all right.

Well, anyways, uh, Aunt Bee here

has asked to be
the first customer

and she's got the number one
machine all loaded,

so, Aunt Bee,
anytime you're ready.

HELEN: Go on.
WOMAN: All right.

(CLINKING)

(MACHINE HUMMING)

Well, it looks like
we're off and running

and uh...
Oh, I just, I just want
to point out one thing.

This little business here
isn't going to interfere

with, uh, with the, uh,
with my job at all.

You see, I'll still be
right on duty the whole time
just like, just like always

and you just
bring your laundry in
anytime that you, uh...

Uh, feel...

Has anybody got a wrench?

Andy?
Got those accident reports
you wanted.

Oh, good, Howard.
I've been wanting
to go over those with you.

Get everything
straightened out
over at the laundry?

(CHUCKLING)
Aunt Bee put in
too much soap.

Oh, well, that can happen.

Is everything classified?
Yeah. Yeah, as
you can see here,

most of the accidents
occurred because...

All right Andy,
what are you going
to do about it?

What am I going
to do about what?

My shirt, just look at it.
Well, I'm looking at it.
What about it?

Nothing, except
it used to be white
before I took it over

to that laundry of yours.
A white shirt?

Pure white. Cost me
$3.95 at Sneedley's,
and I only wore it once.

Gonna make good, or ain't you?

Emmett, a white shirt
just doesn't turn purple.
What did you do to it?

Look, college boy, this
is between Andy and me.

Well, Emmett, you must have
some idea of how it happened.

Well, I know how it happened.
My purple sweater ran.

You mean you
washed them together?

Well, why not?
Emmett, anybody knows

that you don't wash
a white shirt
with a purple sweater.

We've even got signs
with instructions.

You have?
Well, yes.

Now, that's not my fault.
It's your fault.
It's definitely not my fault.

It's not my fault.
Well, it's not my fault.

It's my wife's fault.

I told her the laundry
was her department.

Well, Emmett, we're
kind of busy here.

Yeah, we'll see you, Emmett.

All right.

I guess I can always wear it
with my faded purple sweater.

Andy Taylor,
what do you think
you're doing?

Oh, I'm... I'm writing out
a parking ticket
for you, Mrs. Larch.

Well, if that isn't
gratitude for you.

I happen to have been
in your laundry.

Oh. Well, I appreciate
the business,

but we still have our
parking regulations
and there are a lot

of places around here
you can park
as long as you want.

Oh, do you expect me
to carry my laundry
from two blocks away?

I'm sorry, Mrs. Larch
but there's... there's nothing
I can do about that.

Well, I can see you're
not much of a businessman.
Well, I'm a sheriff first.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Larch.

Well, I can assure you
that this is the last time
you'll get any of my business.

Well, I hate for
you to say that.

Try to do something nice
for somebody and that's
the thanks you get.

Oh, don't pay any attention
to Mrs. Larch.
She's only one person.

And it is making money,
isn't it?

Yes, but it's... it's
interfering with my job.

Oh, it'll all work out.
You'll see.

I didn't show you this, Paw.
I was drilling
some holes today.

Just fooling around.

Oh, that's... That's
mighty clean, Ope.

You know, Paw, I really think
I'm going to make
a good dentist.

Well, sure you will.

I saw Dr. Burnside
on the street today

and I told him
what I was going to do.

Yeah?

He said he'd be looking
for somebody

to take over his practice
when he gets older.

Oh, that... that's wonderful.

Now that I know
all about my future
I can relax a little.

Sure.

You can relax a
little, too, Paw,

because I know how fathers
are always worried about

what their sons are going to do.

Oh, no problems from here on in.

Right. Well, night, Paw.

Night, Aunt Bee.
Good night, Opie.

Well,

we certainly set
things in motion

with that college talk,
didn't we?
Yeah.

Eight years.

It may not be dentistry, but
he'll specialize in something

and it'll take
at least seven or eight years.

That's a bunch of laundry.

Well, this is Mayberry.
Yes, sir, Inspector.

Probably one of
the best-policed communities
in this part of the state.

Taylor, you said?
Andy Taylor.

He's got a great record.

I gathered that
in going over the reports.

Well, shall we go in?
Yes, sir.

LEROY: Andy?

Andy?

Well, he's probably out
on his rounds.

We can go to Siler City
if you want to
and hit Mayberry another day.

No. I want
to meet this Taylor.

Come on, now...

Oh! Excuse me!
Is Sheriff Taylor in?

No, ma'am, he's out somewhere.

Oh, well, he'll know
what to do with this.

Just tell him to call
Alpha Porter, if you would.

Sure will, ma'am.
PORTER: Thank you.
All right, now.

Looks like laundry.

Yeah. Well, that's
Taylor for you.

Everybody knows
that he'll take care
of their problems.

The human touch.
Exactly, sir.

Shall we go out
and maybe we can find him?
Fine.

You mean you can't tell me
if this is going to
shrink or not?

Well, I'm sorry,
Mrs. Le Grande.

I... I just don't know that much
about the different materials.

Well, you're in the
laundry business,
aren't you?

Well, yes.

Uh... I imagine
that some things shrink
and some don't.

Well, I don't mind if
it shrinks a little

because I have lost
a few pounds lately.

Oh, that's nice.

I've been on a low-calorie diet.

Nothing but meat,
chicken, fish
and steamed vegetables.

That's wonderful.

Yes, I suppose it is
if you don't have
to be on it.

Certainly a clean little town.

Yes, sir. Uh,
shall we keep walking?

Might as well.
That fellow said Taylor was
walking in the same direction.

Right, sir.

I'm just wondering how
much it could shrink.

Andy, hold it up, would you?

Mrs. Le Grande...
Just hold it up, Andy,
please, so I can see.

A little higher.

Now, you're about a
foot taller than I am,

so I want to see where
the hem comes on you.

Mrs. Le Grande.
They're wearing
dresses shorter now

so if it should shrink
about two inches...

Yes, that might be fine.

Oh, hello, Leroy.

Hello, Andy.
Andy, I'd like you
to meet Mr. Rogers.

He's the head
of the State Bureau
of Investigation.

Mr. Rogers.
Uh, I was just, uh...

Taylor, I wonder
if we could go
back to the courthouse

and have a little chat.

Well, certainly. Certainly.
No, I'm sorry,
he can't go now.

He's holding up
my dress.
Mrs. Le Grande...

LE GRANDE: Stand still.
I can't tell how it's going
to look if it does shrink

if you move
around like that.
Well, Mrs. Le Grande...

Now, where's your waist?
Mrs. Le Grande...

Are you in the laundry
business or not?

I don't have to tell you
what a sheriff makes,

so I just had to look for
some outside investments.

Investments, yeah, but that
looks like a whole career.

Well, you just happened
to come in on the worst.

Though I will admit
it's taking up more time
than I anticipated.

How long
you had the place,
Andy?

A week, just a week.

Oh, excuse me, Paw.
I didn't mean to butt in.

Anything important, Ope?
It can wait.

That's the college boy, huh?
Yeah.

Fine-looking lad.

Thanks, Inspector.

ROGERS: Don't think
I'm not aware
of your problem, Taylor.

I've got a couple of
kids of my own.

They're both in college now.

ANDY:
How'd you manage
to swing it?

ROGERS: Well, fortunately,
their grades were good enough

for them to get
into a state college.

That, of course,
was a big saving.

ANDY: I see.

Now, I'm not trying
to tell you what to do,
Taylor. It is commendable.

But in our business
it just doesn't work out.

We've only got time for one job.

ROGERS: And, you know,
election time
does come up.

You don't want people
starting to wonder
whether you're a sheriff

or in the laundry business.

Yeah, I know.

I'd just hate to see
you jeopardize your job here.

Yeah.

HOWARD: Hi, Ope.
Oh, hi, Mr. Sprague.

Hey, your dad tells me
you're going to college
and take up dentistry, huh?

Uh, yeah. Maybe.

Gee, what's the matter?
You don't sound
too enthusiastic.

Well, you know how it is.

I'll see you,
Mr. Sprague.

See you.

Well, Andy, I just can't
keep up with you.

You say you sold the place?

To Charlie Johnson.

He's had his eye on it
ever since I opened up
and he paid me

just what I paid for it.
It's a moneymaker,
no doubt about that,

but it'll just...
It'll take somebody
that can devote

a lot more time to it
than I can.

Yes, but what about
the reason for it all?

It seemed
so important to you,
the money and everything.

Well, I'll just have to
figure... figure out
something else.

Hi, Paw.
Hi, Aunt Bee.
BEE: Hi, Opie.

ANDY: Oh, hi, Ope.

You know, Paw, I've been
doing a lot of thinking
about my college career.

You know, what college I
want to go to and all that?

Oh, you have?
And I decided I want to go
to a state college.

OPIE: The University
of North Carolina.

The University
of North Carolina?

Yeah. It's a great school
and it's not too far away.

Well, sure, it's a great school

but you have to have
mighty fine grades
to get in there.

I mean, above average.

I know. That's why
I'm going to start to study
real hard now.

What you got there?

Biology, Latin... Algebra.

Those are high school subjects.

Yeah, well,
I figure, why wait
until the last minute?

I want to start
looking 'em over.

(DOOR CLOSING)

Do you suppose
he knew anything
about that money problem?

Guess he just
sensed it.
Hmm.

You know, there's something
awful special about that boy.

And I think he's going
to make a very fine dentist.

(HUMMING)

Boy, I'm glad
Opie's doing better
in school.

Oh, and practically
overnight.
Yeah.

He's taken on
a real dedication
to his schoolwork.

Well, I always felt
he was capable of it.

Well, if he keeps up
at this rate
he'll be at least

a B student
in high school.
Oh, boy,

that could solve
a lot of problems.

(ANDY HUMMING)

Oh, Helen.
Have some more cake.

Good old walnut.

(HUMMING)
Okay.

Oh!
What's the matter, Helen?

Oh, I think I bit into
a nutshell or something.

Oh, I'm sorry.

My back tooth is so sensitive.

Well, if you can hold off
for a while, I know a kid
who can do a fine job for you.

(HUMMING)