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1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:03,450
(WHISTLING)
2
00:00:27,540 --> 00:00:31,980
We were now deep
into the Mato Grosso jungle.
3
00:00:33,510 --> 00:00:37,410
An almost impenetrable maze
of vines and trees,
4
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:41,120
behind which lurked
we knew not what.
5
00:00:41,190 --> 00:00:42,850
Savages, wild beasts,
6
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:46,420
just waiting to hurl
their vengeance upon us.
Hmm?
7
00:00:46,490 --> 00:00:47,760
I ain't never going there.
8
00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:50,360
There's obviously
an element of danger.
9
00:00:50,430 --> 00:00:54,560
We had sent runners ahead
10
00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:55,970
to try to determine
11
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,740
if there were any
unfriendly natives
in the area.
12
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,970
But due to the almost total
lack of communications
13
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,840
we were forced
to proceed anyway.
14
00:01:03,910 --> 00:01:06,680
When suddenly,
as if from nowhere,
15
00:01:08,050 --> 00:01:12,050
this spear came hurtling
out of the underbrush,
16
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,920
missing my head
by just a matter
of a very few inches.
17
00:01:14,990 --> 00:01:17,190
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
This very spear!
18
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,560
Must have been
one of those savages.
19
00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:22,930
That'd be my guess.
20
00:01:22,990 --> 00:01:24,660
Fortunately,
21
00:01:24,730 --> 00:01:28,800
most of the natives we met
in the interior of Brazil
were friendlier.
22
00:01:28,870 --> 00:01:30,900
Still, whenever I was
invited to dinner,
23
00:01:30,970 --> 00:01:34,870
I never knew whether
I was the guest or the entree.
24
00:01:34,940 --> 00:01:36,310
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
25
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,540
That was a good one.
26
00:01:39,610 --> 00:01:42,810
Well, I see I've been
rambling on here
for a couple of hours.
27
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,510
You've been
a most attentive audience.
28
00:01:44,580 --> 00:01:45,880
Now, if you'd like...
29
00:01:45,950 --> 00:01:47,680
I'm finished with the spear,
Miss Edwards.
30
00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:49,220
Certainly, Professor.
31
00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:51,620
I was about to say,
now, if you'd like,
32
00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:53,960
we could have
a question and answer period.
33
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:55,590
If there are
any questions at all
34
00:01:55,660 --> 00:01:57,030
you have about South America
35
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,310
I would be happy to answer them
36
00:01:58,330 --> 00:02:00,460
to the very best of my ability.
37
00:02:00,530 --> 00:02:03,200
There are many
interesting facts
about South America
38
00:02:03,270 --> 00:02:05,840
that I've been able to, uh...
To... I... I...
39
00:02:05,910 --> 00:02:08,110
The... The...
The limit, uh...
40
00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:09,870
Oh, allow me.
41
00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:11,210
Oh, thank you, Professor.
42
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,540
Allow me, Miss Edwards.
43
00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:16,710
(LAUGHING)
There we are.
44
00:02:16,780 --> 00:02:18,120
Thank you.
45
00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:24,000
Now, then.
Are there any questions?
46
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:26,720
Oh, yes?
47
00:02:26,790 --> 00:02:29,460
I was, uh, very interested
in your early reference
48
00:02:29,530 --> 00:02:31,560
to the flora and fauna
of South America.
49
00:02:31,630 --> 00:02:33,630
Did I...
Did I understand you to say
50
00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:36,200
that orchids grow wild
down there?
51
00:02:36,270 --> 00:02:37,870
In profusion.
52
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:42,410
Pink, blue, yellow, purple,
all colors, just beautiful.
53
00:02:42,470 --> 00:02:45,010
Oh, my, that must be glorious.
54
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,310
And I'll bet that's one place
they don't cost $5 apiece,
either.
55
00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:49,980
(ALL LAUGHING)
56
00:02:51,550 --> 00:02:52,550
(CLEARS THROAT)
57
00:02:54,420 --> 00:02:56,650
Are there any other questions?
58
00:02:58,520 --> 00:02:59,820
Oh, yes, Miss Edwards?
59
00:02:59,890 --> 00:03:03,560
Professor, of all the wildlife
you've ever encountered,
60
00:03:03,630 --> 00:03:06,160
which would you say
was the most dangerous?
61
00:03:06,230 --> 00:03:08,630
Well, Miss Edwards,
I would say that was a toss-up
62
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:13,500
between a wounded leopard
and a lovely girl.
63
00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:14,640
Oh.
64
00:03:14,710 --> 00:03:16,490
(ALL LAUGHING)
65
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,090
It looks like Clara's
got quite a case
on the Professor.
66
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,130
Well, he's got everything
she likes in a man,
he's single.
67
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:27,820
And now, if there are
no further questions,
68
00:03:27,890 --> 00:03:31,690
I will simply say,
"Kongo molo, bolo,"
69
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:34,190
which means,
"Good night and thank you."
70
00:03:34,260 --> 00:03:36,530
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
71
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:40,000
Now, for those of you
who would care to purchase
a copy of my book,
72
00:03:40,070 --> 00:03:42,130
I Know South America,
73
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:43,610
if you'll just step
right over here
74
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,560
I'll be very happy
to autograph it for you.
75
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,690
You know, Andy,
I was wondering...
76
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,540
I understand
the Professor's going to
stay over till tomorrow.
77
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:54,640
Don't you think as Sheriff
78
00:03:54,660 --> 00:03:56,510
you ought to invite him
for dinner?
79
00:03:56,530 --> 00:03:57,830
Okay, I'll go ask him.
80
00:03:57,900 --> 00:03:59,570
Excuse me.
81
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:02,700
Oh, that should be
very educational for Opie,
to meet a man like that.
82
00:04:02,770 --> 00:04:04,000
Yes.
83
00:04:04,070 --> 00:04:07,210
Oh, a fascinating evening,
wasn't it?
84
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,840
It certainly brought
South America to Mayberry.
85
00:04:09,910 --> 00:04:12,590
I just want to wait
till they all get
their books.
86
00:04:12,610 --> 00:04:17,020
I think it's my duty
to invite him to stay
for dinner tomorrow night.
87
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,130
Oh, Clara...
What's the matter?
88
00:04:19,150 --> 00:04:22,260
Well, Andy's over there now
inviting him to our house
for dinner.
89
00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:25,160
Why, that's a violation
of protocol.
90
00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:27,030
Andy happens to be Sheriff.
91
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,200
Well, I'm Chairman
of the Hospitality Committee.
92
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,130
I think that takes care
of the matter completely.
93
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,770
Uh, well...
I'm sorry, Clara.
94
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:39,840
Well, if you come over
to our house for dinner,
won't that solve everything?
95
00:04:39,910 --> 00:04:43,110
Oh... Well... Well, all right.
96
00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:45,050
7:00-ish?
Fine.
97
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,220
That was fast thinking.
98
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:50,450
I never would have heard
the end of it.
99
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,720
Come on, let's stand outside.
100
00:04:54,510 --> 00:04:56,240
There we are.
101
00:04:56,310 --> 00:04:58,490
Thank you, Sheriff.
I would be very happy
to come to dinner.
102
00:04:58,510 --> 00:05:00,140
Oh, good, good.
103
00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:03,650
Oh... Who is that lady
in the blue dress?
104
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:07,920
That's my aunt.
105
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:12,160
Oh.
106
00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:17,790
Now, Opie, only one helping
of chicken tonight.
I cooked it in wine.
107
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:19,440
And don't either of you
slam any doors.
108
00:05:19,460 --> 00:05:21,330
I don't want my souffle to fall.
109
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,570
If fell last time
when we didn't
slam anything.
110
00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,750
You want to take
that sweater upstairs?
111
00:05:25,770 --> 00:05:29,340
Oh, I do hope
the evening proves
a success for Clara.
112
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:32,010
Oh, she certainly
is pointing for
the professor.
113
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,740
Betty said
she spent three hours
in the beauty parlor today.
114
00:05:34,810 --> 00:05:36,810
Oh, dear,
I hope they hit it off.
115
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:39,060
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Well, I better get
upstairs and tidy up.
116
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,960
Uh, answer that,
Andy, will you?
Oh, yeah.
117
00:05:46,330 --> 00:05:48,560
Andy.
Well, Clara.
118
00:05:48,630 --> 00:05:50,760
Clara, how nice you look.
119
00:05:50,830 --> 00:05:52,330
Oh, why, thank you, Helen.
120
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:56,070
I just reached into my closet
and grabbed the first thing.
121
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,170
Hello, Opie.
Hi, Miss Edwards.
122
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,140
Gee, that's the dress I saw
on Madam Olga's window
this morning.
123
00:06:03,210 --> 00:06:05,550
Oh.
Oh, uh,
shall we sit down?
124
00:06:05,580 --> 00:06:07,240
Wonderful idea.
125
00:06:07,310 --> 00:06:08,550
(DOORBELL RINGING)
126
00:06:08,610 --> 00:06:10,710
Whoops, that's bound to be
the guest of honor.
127
00:06:10,780 --> 00:06:12,850
Now, stand up straight.
128
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:17,050
Oh, Professor, come in.
Sheriff.
129
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,630
Did you have any trouble
finding the place?
130
00:06:18,660 --> 00:06:21,890
No, no, I just took
a fix on the North Star
and here I am.
131
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,230
(BOTH LAUGHING)
132
00:06:23,290 --> 00:06:25,560
Oh, Miss Edwards,
what a pleasant surprise.
133
00:06:25,630 --> 00:06:28,200
I thought we were just ships
that passed in the night.
134
00:06:28,270 --> 00:06:31,400
(CHUCKLING)
But apparently
on the same course.
135
00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:33,200
Uh, this is Miss Crump.
136
00:06:33,270 --> 00:06:36,270
Ah, to further decorate
the festive ball, eh?
137
00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:38,090
(ALL LAUGHING)
Well, how do you do?
138
00:06:38,110 --> 00:06:41,010
And my son Opie.
Professor St. John.
139
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:42,680
Hi.
Hello, Opie.
140
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:45,170
What grade are you in?
Eighth.
141
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,010
We already finished
South America.
142
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,180
Oh, we have a lot in common.
I've finished with it, too.
143
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,640
(CHUCKLING)
144
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:54,470
And how did you
spend your day
in Mayberry, Professor?
145
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:57,580
Well, exploring, as usual,
Miss Edwards.
146
00:06:57,650 --> 00:07:01,360
I came across
a marvelously quaint
little spot, Myers Lake.
147
00:07:01,430 --> 00:07:02,920
(ANDY CHUCKLING)
148
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:07,090
Oh, yes. It's a very
popular rendezvous with the,
uh,
149
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,990
picnickers.
150
00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:12,040
(CHUCKLING) Oh.
Well, I'll have to
keep that in mind...
151
00:07:12,060 --> 00:07:13,530
Miss Edwards.
152
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,300
Oh.
153
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,990
Ah, the lady of the house.
154
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:22,190
Professor, I'd like you
to meet my Aunt Bee.
155
00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:24,250
Miss Taylor,
Professor St. John.
156
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,760
I'm most happy
to meet you, Miss Taylor.
157
00:07:26,830 --> 00:07:28,720
So nice of you to come.
158
00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:34,630
Well... Oh, Clara,
what a beautiful dress.
159
00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:37,520
It's brand-new.
She just got it today.
160
00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:41,500
I'm really most happy
to meet you, Miss Taylor.
161
00:07:42,410 --> 00:07:43,710
Thank you. Um...
162
00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:46,240
Well, uh, dinner'll be ready
in just a minute.
163
00:07:46,310 --> 00:07:48,110
Why don't we have
some elderberry wine.
164
00:07:48,180 --> 00:07:50,010
It's Andy's own recipe.
165
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:51,410
Excuse me.
166
00:07:53,620 --> 00:07:55,080
Uh, Professor.
167
00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:57,750
My phone simply hasn't
stopped ringing all day.
168
00:07:57,820 --> 00:08:00,720
Nothing but compliments
for my having
brought you here.
169
00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:02,990
Oh, well,
that's very nice to hear.
170
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:06,430
Bee. That's the diminutive
for Beatrice, isn't it?
171
00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:10,500
Oh, well, I haven't
been called Beatrice
since I was a little girl.
172
00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:13,100
Pity. It's such
a classic name.
173
00:08:13,170 --> 00:08:16,610
In Latin, it means
"she who makes happy."
174
00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:20,040
Oh? How nice.
175
00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:25,820
There we are.
176
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,650
Well, I guess
I'd better
see about dinner.
177
00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,190
I'll... I'll give her a hand.
178
00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,780
Is there anything wrong
with the way I look?
179
00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:42,280
You look just fine to me.
180
00:08:42,350 --> 00:08:45,150
Well, why does he keep
staring at me like that?
181
00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:47,320
Well, I think you've
got yourself an admirer.
182
00:08:47,390 --> 00:08:49,460
Nonsense. No.
183
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:53,060
It's the way
he stares at me
that has me puzzled.
184
00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:55,610
Like he's staring
right through me.
185
00:08:55,630 --> 00:08:57,800
Well, Aunt Bee, I'm just
an innocent bystander,
186
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,930
but I think he's just
very interested in you.
187
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:05,140
No, no... There's
more to it than that.
188
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:06,970
I can just feel it.
189
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,880
(ALL CHATTERING)
190
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,950
I'm amazed at how
long you stay away
191
00:09:17,020 --> 00:09:19,000
on these jungle trips
of yours, Professor.
192
00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:21,070
It must get very lonely for you.
193
00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:22,820
Well, really...
194
00:09:22,890 --> 00:09:24,370
I suppose it would be different
195
00:09:24,390 --> 00:09:28,030
if there was somebody
at home waiting for you.
196
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,330
Well, actually, I...
197
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,630
Uh, some more chicken,
Professor?
198
00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:33,280
Hubert.
199
00:09:33,350 --> 00:09:34,520
Hubert.
200
00:09:34,590 --> 00:09:36,120
No, no, thank you.
201
00:09:36,190 --> 00:09:39,590
I want to save a little room
for your Nesselrode pie.
202
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,210
Oh.
203
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:44,510
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
Opie...
204
00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:46,380
Poor Opie hasn't been able
to get a word in.
205
00:09:46,410 --> 00:09:49,680
Opie, don't you have something
you want to ask our guest?
206
00:09:49,750 --> 00:09:55,290
Uh... Uh... Yeah. Uh, yeah.
207
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:59,130
Professor St. John,
is it true that Bogota
208
00:09:59,190 --> 00:10:01,290
is still
the capital of Colombia?
209
00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:02,800
Yes, yes, Opie.
210
00:10:02,860 --> 00:10:05,660
And Quito is still
the capital of Ecuador.
211
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:08,100
Oh, well, what do you know?
212
00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:10,270
We learn something every day,
don't we?
213
00:10:12,810 --> 00:10:15,480
Well, how long do you expect
to grace our fair city,
Professor?
214
00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:17,980
Well, I had planned
to leave tomorrow,
215
00:10:18,010 --> 00:10:21,250
but I may change my plans.
216
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,890
There are certain
things in Mayberry
217
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,560
that I find more interesting
218
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:27,350
than anything else I've seen
anywhere else in the world.
219
00:10:30,290 --> 00:10:31,760
Oh, dear.
220
00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:33,930
Oh, Clara, is there
something wrong?
221
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,960
I've just developed
the most dreadful headache.
222
00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:40,500
I'm so sorry, Hubert,
but I'll simply have to
go home.
223
00:10:40,570 --> 00:10:42,150
Hubert, you don't mind?
224
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:45,350
Oh, not at all.
You run along, my dear.
225
00:10:45,420 --> 00:10:48,120
Well, I was planning
to drop you off at the hotel.
226
00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:50,780
Oh, don't worry about it.
I'll enjoy the walk.
227
00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:53,000
Oh... Very well.
228
00:10:53,060 --> 00:10:55,670
Oh, Clara.
229
00:10:55,730 --> 00:10:59,370
Clara, I'm sorry
you don't feel well.
230
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,680
Don't be so naive.
I never met such
a bore in my life.
231
00:11:02,710 --> 00:11:05,140
I don't know how
you can stand him.
232
00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:12,750
And that brings us up to 1959
233
00:11:12,820 --> 00:11:15,080
when I moved in
with Andy and Opie.
234
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:16,650
Fascinating.
235
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,460
You're staring at me again.
236
00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:20,760
No, no, I'm not staring.
237
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:22,800
I'm just waiting
for another plate.
238
00:11:22,830 --> 00:11:24,390
Oh. Oh, this is awful,
239
00:11:24,460 --> 00:11:26,730
a distinguished guest
washing dishes.
240
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,800
But you insisted, Hubert.
241
00:11:28,870 --> 00:11:31,880
Correct. But tomorrow
things are going to
be different.
242
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,940
Tomorrow we're going to
eat from paper plates.
243
00:11:35,010 --> 00:11:37,240
We're going on a little picnic.
244
00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:39,440
You and I?
245
00:11:39,510 --> 00:11:40,890
Is it a date?
246
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,500
(CHUCKLING) Oh.
247
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,300
Yes, all right.
248
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:46,830
Good.
249
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:50,240
Well, I don't want to
wear out my welcome.
250
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:53,040
Guess I'd better be
running along, huh?
251
00:11:53,110 --> 00:11:54,440
Very well.
252
00:11:56,210 --> 00:11:57,640
Hello, Son.
253
00:11:57,710 --> 00:11:58,910
Did I wake you?
254
00:11:58,980 --> 00:12:01,010
(LAUGHING)
Oh, it doesn't matter.
255
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,880
Uh, listen, I have to stay over
256
00:12:02,950 --> 00:12:04,750
for a little while in Mayberry.
257
00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:07,920
Yes, I have a very
important picnic tomorrow.
258
00:12:07,990 --> 00:12:09,420
Listen, Jonathan,
259
00:12:09,490 --> 00:12:12,220
something very strange
has happened.
260
00:12:12,290 --> 00:12:14,930
Well, I met
the most marvelous woman.
261
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,800
Her name is Beatrice Taylor,
and really, if I...
262
00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:21,840
Well, I'll tell you
what's so marvelous
about her.
263
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:26,370
She is the carbon copy
of your sainted mother.
264
00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:38,080
Well.
265
00:12:38,150 --> 00:12:39,890
Andy.
266
00:12:39,950 --> 00:12:41,820
How was the picnic?
267
00:12:41,890 --> 00:12:44,570
I can't remember
when I've had a more
glorious afternoon.
268
00:12:44,590 --> 00:12:47,130
Oh, well, that's Myers Lake
for you.
269
00:12:47,190 --> 00:12:49,370
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
Well, see you
at 7:00, Andy.
270
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,760
Uh... Are you
coming to dinner?
271
00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:53,430
No, no.
Taking her to dinner.
272
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:54,780
Oh.
See you.
273
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,500
(CHUCKLING)
274
00:13:02,530 --> 00:13:04,260
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
275
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,670
Well...
276
00:13:11,140 --> 00:13:14,540
I hear you had yourself
quite an afternoon.
277
00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:17,770
Hmm, quite an afternoon.
278
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,510
What's the matter?
You look like
you just saw a ghost.
279
00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:23,680
I didn't see a ghost.
I am a ghost.
280
00:13:26,150 --> 00:13:27,920
Well, what happened?
281
00:13:28,650 --> 00:13:29,850
Well...
282
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,970
I don't want to talk about it.
283
00:13:32,990 --> 00:13:36,030
Oh. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to pry.
284
00:13:36,090 --> 00:13:37,340
Well, aren't you
going to even ask me
285
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,720
what I don't want to talk about?
286
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,440
Okay, what don't you want
to talk about?
287
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:46,440
Well... No, I just
can't talk about it.
288
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:51,250
I'll tell you. Uh, Andy...
(CLEARS THROAT)
289
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,140
I discovered what
my fatal charm is.
290
00:13:54,210 --> 00:13:57,110
I remind him
of his late wife, Ethel.
291
00:13:57,180 --> 00:13:59,020
Oh, so that's it.
292
00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:00,860
I look like Ethel.
I talk like Ethel.
293
00:14:00,890 --> 00:14:04,320
I crinkle my nose when I laugh
like Ethel.
294
00:14:04,390 --> 00:14:07,570
I even bake Nesselrode pie
like Ethel.
295
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,380
Well, that is a coincidence.
296
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,710
I'm not so sure I like it.
297
00:14:11,780 --> 00:14:15,450
Well, everybody reminds
somebody of somebody.
298
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,150
I know, but it's very annoying.
299
00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:21,350
Well, look at it this way.
300
00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:23,520
The fine qualities
he saw in his late wife,
301
00:14:23,590 --> 00:14:25,530
he now finds in you.
302
00:14:25,590 --> 00:14:28,460
I know, but I like
to be liked as Bee Taylor,
303
00:14:28,530 --> 00:14:31,310
not as
Ethel Montgomery St. John.
304
00:14:31,380 --> 00:14:34,450
Aunt Bee, I guarantee you
that before he knows it
305
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,190
that unique personality
that is Bee Taylor
306
00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:39,520
will come shining through.
307
00:14:39,590 --> 00:14:41,010
You think so?
308
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,440
I'm sure of it.
309
00:14:42,510 --> 00:14:44,380
Now why don't you run upstairs
310
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:47,010
and rest up
for your big date tonight.
311
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:50,530
How was the picnic, Aunt Bee?
312
00:14:50,550 --> 00:14:51,580
Fine.
313
00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:52,950
Are you gonna marry him?
314
00:14:53,020 --> 00:14:55,450
Oh, Opie, what a thing to ask.
315
00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:59,860
Was that such a stupid question?
316
00:14:59,930 --> 00:15:03,060
Well, let's say it was
just a little premature,
317
00:15:03,130 --> 00:15:04,560
if you know what I mean.
318
00:15:04,630 --> 00:15:07,130
Yeah, well,
I'll ask again tomorrow.
319
00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:21,200
(LAUGHING)
Why do they always
have slippery forks
320
00:15:21,270 --> 00:15:23,130
in Italian restaurants?
321
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,080
(LAUGHING) You know,
Ethel had exactly
the same problem.
322
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,580
I think if we lived in Italy,
323
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,750
she would have starved to death.
324
00:15:28,770 --> 00:15:31,590
Here, Beatrice,
let me show you.
May I?
325
00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:34,310
See, it is all in
the wrist movement.
326
00:15:34,380 --> 00:15:35,710
Like that, Beatrice.
327
00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:37,310
Let me try.
328
00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:41,270
No, I think I've had enough.
329
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:44,170
Oh, well, at least have
another glass of Chianti, eh?
330
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,240
No, no, no. One is enough.
331
00:15:46,310 --> 00:15:47,710
The second glass always...
332
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,650
Makes you feel a little giddy?
333
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,590
Yes. How did you know?
334
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:54,210
Ethel was exactly the same way.
335
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,930
You know, I could
remember once...
336
00:15:55,950 --> 00:16:00,270
Hubert, what do you think
about the situation in Asia?
337
00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:02,100
The situation...
338
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,210
Now, really,
I... I'd much rather
talk about you.
339
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,480
Well, I'm very flattered.
340
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:10,160
But I'm, you know,
running out of material.
341
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:13,330
When you get up
in the morning,
are you grumpy
342
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,940
or do you jump out of bed
and start singing like a bird?
343
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:19,120
Is that interesting to you?
344
00:16:19,190 --> 00:16:21,620
Everything about you
is interesting to me.
345
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:22,890
Oh.
346
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,130
Well, I... I don't
sing like a bird
347
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:29,250
but I am disgustingly cheerful
in the morning.
348
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,720
You know, I would have made
a bet on that.
349
00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:35,140
(SIGHING) Ethel?
350
00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:37,260
Exactly.
351
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,890
(LAUGHING)
352
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:46,800
(INAUDIBLE)
353
00:16:57,910 --> 00:16:59,550
Oh, hoo-hoo.
354
00:16:59,610 --> 00:17:02,620
Clara.
Oh, well, hello,
Miss Gadabout.
355
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:04,090
I'm surprised that
you can break away
356
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,560
at the height of
the picnic season.
357
00:17:05,590 --> 00:17:07,550
Oh, this town has big ears.
358
00:17:07,620 --> 00:17:09,820
Well, Beulah Albright's
son Harold
359
00:17:09,890 --> 00:17:12,490
just happened to be
fishing at Myers Lake.
360
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,190
And does Beulah know
where we had dinner
last night?
361
00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:17,210
Well, it's no concern of mine,
362
00:17:17,230 --> 00:17:19,310
but, frankly,
I've always thought
363
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,670
Italian cooking
didn't agree with you.
364
00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:24,640
Neither does idle gossip.
365
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:28,640
Well, I do want you to know,
Bee, how happy I am for you.
366
00:17:28,710 --> 00:17:31,680
Well, there's no need to be.
367
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:33,510
Oh?
368
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,840
Well...
369
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:43,510
Clara, are you my best friend
or aren't you?
370
00:17:43,590 --> 00:17:46,530
Why, of course I am, Bee,
and anything you tell me
371
00:17:46,590 --> 00:17:49,280
I'll try to keep
from going any further.
372
00:17:50,710 --> 00:17:52,480
Well, to be
perfectly honest, Clara,
373
00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:55,980
there's a big stumbling block
in my relationship
with Hubert.
374
00:17:56,070 --> 00:17:57,700
What? What? What?
375
00:17:59,410 --> 00:18:00,570
His wife.
376
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,810
You mean he's still married?
377
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,610
No, no.
He lost her ten years ago.
378
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,210
And she showed up again.
379
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:08,950
No. Not the way you think.
380
00:18:09,020 --> 00:18:11,320
I'm the image of his late wife.
381
00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:14,890
Oh, you poor thing.
382
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,320
You poor, poor thing.
383
00:18:17,390 --> 00:18:20,830
Everything about me
reminds him
of his darling Ethel.
384
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,460
I'm a homebody like Ethel.
385
00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:23,900
I'm quiet like Ethel.
386
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:26,700
I'm everything like Ethel.
387
00:18:26,770 --> 00:18:28,920
Down to her Nesselrode pie.
388
00:18:28,990 --> 00:18:30,820
Oh, you poor thing.
389
00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:33,240
You poor, poor thing.
390
00:18:33,310 --> 00:18:35,540
Well, Andy says it'll pass.
391
00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:38,240
What do men know?
392
00:18:38,310 --> 00:18:41,250
Do you want to live
in the shadow
of another woman?
393
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,630
No. No.
394
00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:48,370
Then break it off before
you torment yourself
to distraction.
395
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,770
I'm your best friend, Bee,
and I say break it off.
396
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,760
Break it off.
397
00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:01,430
Well, the way I see it.
398
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:03,640
There's nothing to break off.
399
00:19:03,700 --> 00:19:05,400
He's leaving tomorrow afternoon
400
00:19:05,470 --> 00:19:07,170
and he hasn't proposed.
401
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:08,540
Today isn't over yet
402
00:19:08,610 --> 00:19:10,940
and I have a feeling
it's coming.
403
00:19:12,780 --> 00:19:14,680
Well,
404
00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:17,550
I'll just have to tell him
I can't see him anymore.
405
00:19:17,620 --> 00:19:21,220
Hmm, I don't think
that would mean much
to the professor.
406
00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:24,560
It'd just make you
that much more desirable.
407
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:27,090
Yes. Forbidden fruit.
408
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,260
Aunt... I was just thinking...
409
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:33,670
Maybe there's a way
410
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:36,040
we could get him
to turn you down.
411
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:38,300
But to him I'm irresistible.
412
00:19:38,370 --> 00:19:40,670
Yeah, but you got
a pretty good idea
413
00:19:40,740 --> 00:19:43,480
of the kind of woman Ethel was.
414
00:19:43,540 --> 00:19:45,110
Have I.
415
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:47,450
Well, suppose
you suddenly became
416
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,050
the kind of woman Ethel wasn't.
417
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:53,520
Oh, Andy.
418
00:19:55,220 --> 00:19:57,190
What a wicked idea.
419
00:19:58,180 --> 00:19:59,280
Sorry.
420
00:20:00,580 --> 00:20:02,460
Will you help me?
421
00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:08,070
(DOORBELL RINGING)
422
00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:15,370
Oh, come in, Professor.
Come in.
423
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,680
My aunt will be down
in a few minutes.
424
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,310
Sit down over here.
425
00:20:19,380 --> 00:20:20,990
Thank you.
There we are.
426
00:20:21,010 --> 00:20:24,880
You know, I plan a rather
serious chat with your aunt.
427
00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:25,980
Is that right?
428
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,400
Yes. I'm very fond
of her, you know?
429
00:20:27,420 --> 00:20:29,050
Oh, well, she's a fine woman.
430
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:32,670
And I must admit
that not the least
important reason
431
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:35,230
is that she so closely resembles
432
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,130
my late wife Ethel.
433
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,060
Oh, is that right?
434
00:20:39,130 --> 00:20:41,370
Well, she must have been
quite a swinger.
435
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:42,450
What?
436
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,970
Oh, you said my aunt
resembles your late wife.
437
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:46,870
Yeah, I heard what you...
Swinger?
438
00:20:46,890 --> 00:20:49,300
Oh, Aunt Bee's
the kind of woman
you can't hold down.
439
00:20:49,330 --> 00:20:51,560
She's just always on the go.
440
00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:54,120
So your Ethel
must have been
quite a woman.
441
00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:56,130
Well, that's strange.
I had the impression
442
00:20:56,150 --> 00:20:59,670
that, uh, y-your aunt
was more of a homebody.
443
00:20:59,740 --> 00:21:01,670
Well, she is when you can
keep her at home,
444
00:21:01,740 --> 00:21:03,440
but she's always on the go.
445
00:21:03,510 --> 00:21:05,110
New York, Florida.
446
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:07,130
She just loves
the bright lights.
447
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,300
She doesn't enjoy, uh,
her... her home
448
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,890
and puttering around
the kitchen?
449
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,920
Well, she does it
when she has to,
450
00:21:13,980 --> 00:21:15,800
like, when we have company
or something,
451
00:21:15,820 --> 00:21:19,090
but it's... it's nothing
that really interests her.
452
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,420
Hi, Hubert.
453
00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:23,130
I've put on something dressy.
454
00:21:23,190 --> 00:21:25,310
They've opened up
a new nightclub
over in Mt. Pilot
455
00:21:25,330 --> 00:21:26,630
called the Bombo Pilot.
456
00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:28,980
How about doin'
a little swingin'?
457
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,870
Swinging?
Yes. Why not?
458
00:21:31,940 --> 00:21:33,840
Well, you know,
frankly, uh, Bee,
459
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:35,540
I had planned on
a more quiet evening.
460
00:21:35,610 --> 00:21:38,640
Oh, come on, Hubert,
that's for old folks.
461
00:21:38,710 --> 00:21:40,620
Live a little.
Live a little.
462
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,190
That's my motto, isn't it, Andy?
463
00:21:42,210 --> 00:21:44,950
That's what
you've always said.
Right.
464
00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:46,730
And I've got tomorrow
all planned.
465
00:21:46,750 --> 00:21:48,300
We're going to go to the races
466
00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:49,460
and after that, we're going
467
00:21:49,490 --> 00:21:51,760
to the delightful
little roadhouse
468
00:21:51,790 --> 00:21:54,720
called, uh, Patty's Place...
469
00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:57,260
(STAMMERING)
470
00:21:57,330 --> 00:21:58,760
I... I had no idea that, uh,
471
00:21:58,830 --> 00:22:01,130
those things meant
so much to you, Bee.
472
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:04,570
Oh, you sound disappointed,
Hubert.
473
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:08,170
Well, no. I, uh... (SIGHS)
474
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,470
I suppose the time has come
to speak frankly.
475
00:22:10,540 --> 00:22:15,540
Bee, I want you to know
that I still have
a very high regard for you.
476
00:22:15,610 --> 00:22:17,750
But the fact is
that we seem to be
477
00:22:17,810 --> 00:22:22,120
miles apart as far as
our personal interests
are concerned.
478
00:22:22,190 --> 00:22:24,190
I mean, Ethel was more...
479
00:22:28,030 --> 00:22:30,660
Then I suppose there's
nothing more to be said, eh?
480
00:22:30,730 --> 00:22:32,460
Better be running along.
481
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,730
(CLEARS THROAT)
Goodbye, Hubert.
482
00:22:42,470 --> 00:22:44,070
Goodbye, Bee.
483
00:22:48,610 --> 00:22:50,910
Oh.
484
00:22:50,980 --> 00:22:52,880
Do you think
we did the right thing?
485
00:22:52,950 --> 00:22:55,280
Aw, I felt kind of sorry
for him.
486
00:22:55,350 --> 00:22:58,120
Well, look at it this way.
487
00:22:58,190 --> 00:23:00,300
If he thought you
were a second Ethel,
488
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,290
somewhere out there
there's got to be a third.
489
00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:04,790
Hmm.
490
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,710
Professor.
Hmm?
491
00:23:09,380 --> 00:23:10,750
Are you leaving?
492
00:23:10,820 --> 00:23:13,150
Yes. I thought I'd leave
on the 5:00 train.
493
00:23:13,220 --> 00:23:16,420
Oh. Well,
that would give you
plenty of time
494
00:23:16,490 --> 00:23:19,730
to stop by my house
for a nice piece
of Nesselrode pie.
495
00:23:19,790 --> 00:23:22,140
Well...
Of course,
we could stop by the diner
496
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,730
but I'm just a homebody,
you know?
497
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,520
Well, I...
Oh.
498
00:23:29,970 --> 00:23:31,640
Now I feel better.
499
00:23:41,870 --> 00:23:44,800
Hello.
Oh, hello, Andy.
500
00:23:44,870 --> 00:23:47,700
Oh, Andy. I saw Clara today.
501
00:23:47,770 --> 00:23:50,570
Oh, did you?
Mmm-hmm.
502
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,980
How did that thing
work out between
Clara and the professor.
503
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,810
Well, I gather,
nothing came of it.
504
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,920
The professor left yesterday
on the 5:00 train.
505
00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:02,850
Aw, was she very upset?
506
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,950
No, you know Clara,
she bounces right back.
507
00:24:06,020 --> 00:24:08,960
(CHUCKLING) Yeah.
She's busy planning
her next lecture.
508
00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:10,240
Oh really?
Mmm-hmm.
509
00:24:10,260 --> 00:24:13,930
What's it gonna
be about?
Outer Mongolia.
510
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:18,300
You're kidding.
No, that's what
it's gonna be about.
511
00:24:18,370 --> 00:24:20,750
Well, I can...
I can understand
South America,
512
00:24:20,770 --> 00:24:24,070
but some guy talking
about Outer Mongolia...
513
00:24:24,140 --> 00:24:26,410
Why would she ever
hire a lecturer like that?
514
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:28,050
Well, he's the only one
she could dig up
515
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:29,410
that's not only single,
516
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,910
but he's never
been married before.
517
00:24:31,980 --> 00:24:33,120
Oh.
35507
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