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♪ Here's the story ♪
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♪ Of a lovely lady ♪
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♪ Who was bringing up ♪
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♪ Three very lovely girls ♪
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♪ All of them had hair of gold ♪
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♪ Like their mother ♪
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♪ The youngest one in curls ♪
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♪ It's the story of a
man named Brady ♪
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♪ Who was busy with
three boys of his own ♪
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♪ They were four
men living all together ♪
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♪ Yet they were all alone ♪
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♪ Till the one day when
the lady met this fellow ♪
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♪ And they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ♪
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♪ That this group must
somehow form a family ♪
15
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♪ That's the way we all
became the Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ The Brady Bunch ♪
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♪ That's the way we
became the Brady Bunch. ♪
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Mom! Alice!
20
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Greg! Marcia!
21
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Peter, Peter, what's the matter?
22
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Is something wrong?
23
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No, I've got great news.
24
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Oh, that's a relief.
25
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Well, come on, tell us the news.
26
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You know the school paper? Yeah?
27
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They needed a new reporter.
28
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A lot of guys tried out for it,
29
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but who do you
think they picked?
30
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Oh, I'll take a
wild guess... You!
31
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Yeah! How did you know?
32
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Woman's intuition.
33
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I'm not just going to
be an ordinary reporter.
34
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I'm going to have my own column!
35
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Your own column...
That's terrific!
36
00:01:53,763 --> 00:01:55,363
Congratulations, Peter.
37
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Thanks.
38
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And I know just what
I'm going to call it...
39
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"The Whole Truth,"
by... "Scoop" Brady.
40
00:02:03,907 --> 00:02:06,174
"Scoop"?! All
right, that's great!
41
00:02:06,243 --> 00:02:07,854
I'm going to write a column
42
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that'll stand Fillmore
Junior High on its ear.
43
00:02:10,447 --> 00:02:12,747
Then I'm gonna write
one for my high school,
44
00:02:12,816 --> 00:02:13,965
then for college.
45
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,735
I might become
a famous reporter!
46
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Maybe I'll win a Pulitzer prize!
47
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But first, I'd better
do something.
48
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What's that?
49
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Learn how to type.
50
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Jan, did you take my pencils?
51
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Nope.
52
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I had three pencils in
this drawer; they're gone.
53
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:42,789
Check with Scoop Brady.
54
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Oh, no.
55
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First, he takes my carbon paper,
56
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then my erasers
and now my pencils.
57
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Mine, too.
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Did either one of you take
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00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,865
the pencils from my desk? No.
60
00:02:51,889 --> 00:02:53,488
Well, somebody did.
61
00:02:53,556 --> 00:02:55,390
Check with Scoop Brady.
62
00:02:55,458 --> 00:02:56,825
Oh, for crying out loud.
63
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First he takes my carbon paper,
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then my erasers
and now my pencils.
65
00:03:01,397 --> 00:03:02,464
Did you call me, honey?
66
00:03:02,532 --> 00:03:04,411
Sweetheart, have you
seen my typewriter?
67
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:05,745
It was in here this morning.
68
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:07,703
Oh, I forgot to tell
you... Power of the press.
69
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:08,837
Scoop Brady borrowed it.
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00:03:08,905 --> 00:03:09,838
You're kidding?
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First he takes my carbon paper,
72
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then my erasers, then my pencils
73
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now my typewriter?
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Well, he said he
was a little short
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00:03:15,845 --> 00:03:17,145
on the tools of his trade.
76
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:21,133
Oh, well, I guess it's
all pretty exciting for him.
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I'll put my notes on
my tape recorder.
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00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:25,248
Um, listen, by the way, honey,
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don't go looking for
your old brown hat.
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My old brown hat?
81
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"The... whole..."
82
00:03:56,053 --> 00:03:58,819
Peter, why are you
wearing Dad's old hat?
83
00:03:58,888 --> 00:04:01,000
Because that's how
us reporters look
84
00:04:01,024 --> 00:04:02,351
in the newspaper game.
85
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,854
And the name isn't
Peter, it's Scoop.
86
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,994
Scoop? You mean "stoop."
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Very funny.
88
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,584
I think we saw this one already.
89
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,402
No, they all look the same.
90
00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,851
Will you guys
turn that thing off?
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I'm trying to think.
92
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,494
Hey, what are you
doing? We were watching!
93
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,679
I told you, I can't think.
94
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,219
Well, that's nothing new.
95
00:04:31,288 --> 00:04:32,849
Hey, will you guys knock
it off; I'm trying to work.
96
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,305
You'd better knock it off.
97
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:36,641
There are two of us
and only one of you.
98
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,063
Hold it.
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00:04:42,132 --> 00:04:44,198
Wait a minute!
100
00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:48,102
What's the matter?
101
00:04:48,171 --> 00:04:49,304
Hi, Dad.
102
00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,873
Big shot "stoop"
won't let us watch TV.
103
00:04:51,941 --> 00:04:53,642
They can watch TV upstairs.
104
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:54,809
I'm trying to work.
105
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,055
Why can't you work upstairs?
106
00:04:56,079 --> 00:04:57,107
Dad, a newspaperman
107
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,441
has to be near the phone.
108
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,044
You never know when
a big story might break.
109
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,383
Well, that's a point.
110
00:05:02,452 --> 00:05:05,336
Why can't you kids
watch television upstairs?
111
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,823
That's just a dinky
little set up there, Dad.
112
00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:09,090
What if we get hungry?
113
00:05:09,159 --> 00:05:11,326
This is right next
to the kitchen. Yeah.
114
00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,555
Look, kids, when one
person is doing something
115
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:15,113
that's important to him,
116
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:19,017
sometimes the others have
to accept a little inconvenience.
117
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He means we got
to watch upstairs.
118
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I know what he means.
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Thanks, Dad.
120
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:25,824
You're welcome.
121
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,603
How's the column coming, Scoop?
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00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:30,127
Writing's sure a lot
tougher than I thought.
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00:05:30,196 --> 00:05:31,830
"The Whole Truth."
124
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That's all you got?
125
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,066
That's all I could think of.
126
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,490
I bet that's another guy
127
00:05:37,521 --> 00:05:38,832
with a hot flash for my column.
128
00:05:38,856 --> 00:05:40,956
Scoop Brady talking.
129
00:05:41,024 --> 00:05:42,624
Oh. For you, Dad.
130
00:05:42,693 --> 00:05:43,837
Mm-hmm. Thank you.
131
00:05:43,861 --> 00:05:45,141
Dad? Yes?
132
00:05:45,195 --> 00:05:46,689
Would you mind
keeping it a little short?
133
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:48,479
You never know when
a big story might break.
134
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,798
Sure thing, Scoop.
135
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,229
All right, children,
time for exercises.
136
00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,652
Not again!
137
00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:55,820
We hate them!
138
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,321
Oh, come on, now.
139
00:05:57,391 --> 00:06:00,492
One, two, one...
Come on, come on.
140
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:01,926
Hey, what's going on here?
141
00:06:03,162 --> 00:06:04,429
Those are really cute!
142
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,476
This is Miss Crocker,
our gym teacher.
143
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,810
Oh, how do you do, Miss Crocker?
144
00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:09,812
How do you do? One, two, one...
145
00:06:09,836 --> 00:06:11,703
What are they for?
146
00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:12,832
Well, we're doing a skit
147
00:06:12,856 --> 00:06:14,100
on our teachers
on Jamboree Night.
148
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,656
You know, rib them a little.
149
00:06:15,725 --> 00:06:17,286
Well, that's the best
time to rib them...
150
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:18,488
After your final grades.
151
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:19,589
And, speaking of grades,
152
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:20,990
you two have finals this week.
153
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,324
I finished all my studying, Mom.
154
00:06:22,348 --> 00:06:23,582
So did I.
155
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,327
That's why I'm helping
Marcia with these puppets.
156
00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:26,813
I'm Mrs. Sanders...
157
00:06:26,837 --> 00:06:27,768
Marcia's English teacher.
158
00:06:27,838 --> 00:06:29,854
Oh, hello.
159
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,123
And this is Mr. Price,
the science teacher.
160
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,669
And now, students,
161
00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:35,660
we take up the
study of chlorophyll.
162
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:37,340
"Chlorophyll" is a Greek word.
163
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,631
"Chloro" means green,
and I guess "phyll"
164
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is the guy who discovered it.
165
00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,279
Hey, you got
Mr. Price down perfect.
166
00:06:43,303 --> 00:06:45,448
He's the toughest
teacher I've ever had.
167
00:06:45,472 --> 00:06:47,133
You have him this
term, don't you, Peter?
168
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,456
I sure do.
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00:06:48,525 --> 00:06:50,220
Well, just remember,
Scoop Brady,
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you have finals, too.
171
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:52,855
So don't neglect your studies
172
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,495
because of that column.
173
00:06:54,564 --> 00:06:56,914
Don't worry, Mom,
everything's real cool.
174
00:06:56,983 --> 00:06:58,967
Well, just make sure
it doesn't warm up.
175
00:06:59,036 --> 00:07:01,948
One, two, one... Is
that your column?
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00:07:01,972 --> 00:07:03,071
Yeah.
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00:07:03,139 --> 00:07:04,072
Can we read it?
178
00:07:04,140 --> 00:07:06,357
Well... Come on.
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00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:08,760
All it says is,
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00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,606
"The Whole Truth
by Scoop Brady."
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00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:12,080
Well, I haven't finished it yet.
182
00:07:12,148 --> 00:07:13,664
It isn't even started.
183
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,500
That's the whole
trouble, getting it started.
184
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,080
Before I became a writer,
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I could think of a million
things to write about.
186
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:20,005
Now I can't think of one.
187
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:21,985
Come on, there's
lots to write about.
188
00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,274
Oh, yeah? Name one.
189
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:25,321
Well, how about
my Jamboree Night?
190
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:27,695
And the girls' basketball
team... Undefeated.
191
00:07:27,764 --> 00:07:29,525
And so is the debating team.
192
00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:30,982
Hey, that's real good stuff.
193
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:33,317
And the drama club is
doing three one-act plays.
194
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:34,814
And there's a
charity... Okay, okay.
195
00:07:34,838 --> 00:07:36,103
You're getting me confused.
196
00:07:36,172 --> 00:07:37,939
I'll get on it right away.
197
00:07:38,007 --> 00:07:41,142
I say, that Scoop is
some reporter, I say.
198
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,589
Yes, he is some
reporter, indeed.
199
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:48,182
Well, what do you think?
200
00:07:48,252 --> 00:07:50,518
Uh, well, it's-it's, um...
201
00:07:50,587 --> 00:07:53,154
it's not a, uh,
bad column, Pete.
202
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,323
Boy, the typing
is real neat, Peter.
203
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,175
You think it's rotten.
204
00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:58,493
Not at all.
205
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,762
The items are fine.
206
00:08:00,830 --> 00:08:03,698
The way you wrote
it, it's a little, um...
207
00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:05,633
dull, right, Alice?
208
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:07,813
Well, you could
jazz it up a little.
209
00:08:07,837 --> 00:08:08,837
How?
210
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:10,838
Well, take the pie sale.
211
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,019
You said, "14 apple
pies were baked."
212
00:08:13,043 --> 00:08:14,453
Eh. Couldn't you
say something like,
213
00:08:14,477 --> 00:08:16,789
"What sweet young
thing in the eighth grade
214
00:08:16,813 --> 00:08:19,191
bakes the wildest
apple pies in town?"
215
00:08:19,215 --> 00:08:22,984
Hey, I get it... make
it more personal.
216
00:08:23,053 --> 00:08:25,086
Right. The girls'
basketball item...
217
00:08:25,155 --> 00:08:27,088
You didn't mention
a single name.
218
00:08:27,157 --> 00:08:29,607
Kids like to see their
names in the paper
219
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,142
and to read about themselves.
220
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,272
Particularly, if you
appeal to their vanity.
221
00:08:33,296 --> 00:08:35,046
Vanity? What's vanity?
222
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:38,133
Vanity is what makes
women with size-12 feet
223
00:08:38,201 --> 00:08:39,734
wear size-eight shoes.
224
00:08:39,803 --> 00:08:41,419
She means flatter them.
225
00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:44,956
Names, and flatter them, huh?
226
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,224
Boy, will I ever!
227
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,292
Thanks!
228
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:06,911
Peter. Peter.
229
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:07,980
Hi, Iris.
230
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,358
I just wanted to thank you.
231
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,060
They picked me
to be yell leader,
232
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,295
and I owe it all to you.
233
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,834
Why me?
234
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:15,448
Because of all the things you
wrote about me in your column.
235
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,289
I'm glad it helped.
236
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:19,135
Maybe we can have a
malt together after school.
237
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:20,258
Swell.
238
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,607
And I'm paying;
239
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:23,494
you're my guest, Peter.
240
00:09:27,117 --> 00:09:29,500
Hey, Peter, you're the greatest.
241
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,980
You mean the item in the column.
242
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,804
I've never been so
popular with girls.
243
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:34,772
They really believe
that stuff you wrote
244
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,274
about me being a great dancer.
245
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:37,637
Well, you are, compared to me;
246
00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:38,941
I can't dance at all.
247
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:40,928
Here. It's only some candy bars,
248
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,930
but I just wanted to
show my appreciation.
249
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,279
Thanks.
250
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,812
Hey, if you can
think of anything else
251
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,101
to say about me,
252
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,937
I've got an uncle who
owns a pizza place.
253
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,006
See you later.
254
00:09:55,578 --> 00:09:58,179
Peter! I've been
looking all over for you.
255
00:09:58,248 --> 00:10:00,093
Well, it looks
like you found me.
256
00:10:00,117 --> 00:10:01,716
Thanks for the great item
257
00:10:01,785 --> 00:10:03,851
in your column about my singing.
258
00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:08,206
Mrs. Meredith asked me to
do a solo on Jamboree Night!
259
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,340
That's great!
260
00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:11,309
And, Peter, I'm going to have
261
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:12,943
a super party soon,
262
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:16,847
and you're the first
name on my guest list.
263
00:10:24,006 --> 00:10:25,873
I know you're studying, Eddie,
264
00:10:25,942 --> 00:10:27,975
but I need an
item for my column.
265
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:31,479
Yeah, something real
snappy... A little gossip or...
266
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:34,482
Have you got the whole thing
about osmosis right now, Eddie?
267
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,816
Yeah, I know...
268
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,319
that science class
isn't too easy.
269
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,889
Okay, let me know if
you're stuck again. Bye.
270
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:45,388
Well, did you get him
squared away on osmosis?
271
00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:46,811
Yep.
272
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,058
Yeah, well, that makes
me feel a little bit better.
273
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:50,348
How do you mean?
274
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:51,560
Well, with all the time
275
00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:53,396
you've been spending
on your column
276
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,164
and all the parties
you've been invited to,
277
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:57,133
your mother and I have
been a little bit afraid
278
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,734
you've been neglecting
your schoolwork.
279
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:01,192
Nah. I'm going to do some
more studying right now.
280
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:02,338
You are? Yeah.
281
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,962
Hey, that's good.
282
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:07,598
Turn out the lights
when you're through.
283
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,134
Osmosis... osmosis...
284
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:12,203
I'd better find out what
in heck osmosis is...
285
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:13,905
or does!
286
00:11:17,527 --> 00:11:19,447
We both had
Mr. Price for science,
287
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:22,113
and we know what kind
of final exams he gives.
288
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,425
I'm sure we can help.
289
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:26,033
Thanks. I just
hope it's not too late.
290
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:28,114
The easiest way to
remember things is
291
00:11:28,138 --> 00:11:30,249
by making up little
rhymes about them...
292
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:33,007
Like, "a vertebrate has
a back that's straight."
293
00:11:33,076 --> 00:11:35,343
A vertebrate has a
back that's straight.
294
00:11:35,411 --> 00:11:36,778
Hey, that's a great idea.
295
00:11:36,847 --> 00:11:38,346
Do you know what a primate is?
296
00:11:38,414 --> 00:11:40,648
Primate... primate... primate...
297
00:11:40,717 --> 00:11:44,652
let's see... I don't think I do.
298
00:11:44,721 --> 00:11:46,971
On second thought,
I'm sure I don't.
299
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:49,174
You can remember it like this.
300
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,842
"A primate has
the size and shape
301
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:54,312
of a monkey, a
man or any old ape."
302
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:57,015
A primate has the size and shape
303
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,183
of a monkey, a
man or any old ape.
304
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,319
Hey, that's a great system!
305
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,468
Hey, it worked for me.
306
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:03,802
Me, too.
307
00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:05,884
Hey, I just thought of
another rhyme. What?
308
00:12:05,908 --> 00:12:07,804
"Next year's
going to be so nice;
309
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,127
I won't have to worry
about Mr. Price."
310
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:14,966
Pete, you better hit
the book and read it.
311
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:19,103
Mr. Price, have
pity on my brother.
312
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:21,438
Mr. Price?
313
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:22,757
Yes, Peter.
314
00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:24,125
I was wondering...
315
00:12:24,194 --> 00:12:25,426
that exam we took on Friday:
316
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,628
Have you finished
grading all the papers yet?
317
00:12:27,697 --> 00:12:28,975
Not all of them.
318
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:30,031
Oh.
319
00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:32,016
As is my customary procedure,
320
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,929
I grade the papers
alphabetically,
321
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,486
according to student names.
322
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,872
I'm presently up to, um, "L."
323
00:12:37,941 --> 00:12:41,208
"L"? Then you're past "B."
324
00:12:41,277 --> 00:12:43,160
A keen analytical deduction.
325
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:45,073
Keener than most
of your deductions
326
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,081
in the examination,
I'm afraid, Peter.
327
00:12:47,149 --> 00:12:49,350
That sounds like I
didn't do so good.
328
00:12:49,419 --> 00:12:52,136
You didn't do so well, either.
329
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:55,156
I'm quite disappointed
in you, Peter.
330
00:12:55,225 --> 00:12:57,436
For the first half
of the semester,
331
00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:58,738
you received a "B."
332
00:12:58,762 --> 00:13:00,172
I thought you would be
333
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,596
one of my better students.
334
00:13:02,665 --> 00:13:05,900
Is this test going to have a
big effect on my report card?
335
00:13:05,969 --> 00:13:09,270
Final examinations
usually do, Peter.
336
00:13:10,306 --> 00:13:12,106
Thank you, sir.
337
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:27,087
"D." A big, fat "D."
338
00:13:35,364 --> 00:13:37,448
Don't I know you from somewhere?
339
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,495
But yes, mon cheri.
340
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,886
I have been chasing you
341
00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:45,272
to the four corners
of the world.
342
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,654
I'll bet you say
that to all the girls.
343
00:13:48,678 --> 00:13:51,496
Oh, Charles, you
mad, impetuous fool.
344
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:52,797
Kiss me.
345
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:56,712
Oh, uh... Hi, kids.
346
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,714
I was, uh...
347
00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:01,506
Well, don't just stand
there like a dummy.
348
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,708
Get me out of this.
349
00:14:19,843 --> 00:14:20,986
Hi, Peter. Hi, Mom.
350
00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:22,259
Hey, what's your hurry?
351
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,344
Come here a minute.
352
00:14:23,413 --> 00:14:25,112
I've got a lot of things to do.
353
00:14:25,181 --> 00:14:26,564
How did you do on your finals?
354
00:14:26,633 --> 00:14:28,448
Uh, most of them went okay.
355
00:14:28,518 --> 00:14:30,117
How was your science final?
356
00:14:30,186 --> 00:14:31,914
Was Mr. Price as
tough as they say?
357
00:14:31,938 --> 00:14:34,238
Mr. Price said he
hasn't finished grading
358
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:35,656
all the test papers yet.
359
00:14:35,725 --> 00:14:37,235
Well, how do you think you did?
360
00:14:37,259 --> 00:14:38,793
I'm sure I didn't get an "A."
361
00:14:38,861 --> 00:14:41,341
Well, I'll settle
for an A-minus.
362
00:14:43,599 --> 00:14:46,050
Boy, so would I.
363
00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:54,659
Hi, Pete.
364
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,205
What do you think you're doing?
365
00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,328
We're going to watch TV.
366
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,329
Why don't you watch TV
367
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,542
down in the family room?
368
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,499
We can't. You got us kicked out
369
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:02,767
of the family room, dumbhead.
370
00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,196
Well, I'm kicking you back in.
371
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:05,536
The way you're
kicking us around,
372
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:06,904
you must think we're footballs.
373
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:09,100
I've got to do a lot of
heavy thinking up here.
374
00:15:09,124 --> 00:15:10,269
If you don't think too loud,
375
00:15:10,293 --> 00:15:11,403
you won't bother us.
376
00:15:11,427 --> 00:15:13,522
Look, if you both go
watch TV downstairs,
377
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:14,824
I'll give you a candy bar, okay?
378
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:16,848
Me, too? You, too.
379
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,217
Wow, you got a whole box!
380
00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:21,619
Where'd you get all that candy?
381
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:22,932
From a guy at school.
382
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,600
I wrote some nice things
about him in my column.
383
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,407
You mean people
give you things for that?
384
00:15:26,476 --> 00:15:28,909
Sure, they like to read nice
things about themselves.
385
00:15:28,978 --> 00:15:31,006
They give you candy
bars, pizzas, sodas,
386
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:33,430
and passes to the movies.
387
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:37,551
And maybe... maybe
even a good grade.
388
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:38,620
Yeah!
389
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:39,987
"Yeah," what?
390
00:15:40,056 --> 00:15:42,467
Never mind. You'll miss
your movie. Hurry up.
391
00:15:42,491 --> 00:15:44,491
I've got a special
column to write.
392
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,011
Say, any hot flashes
393
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,702
to shake the world with, Scoop?
394
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:13,238
What?
395
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,418
I said I'm almost finished.
396
00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,687
Greg, what's a way of saying
397
00:16:17,711 --> 00:16:20,155
somebody's the best at his job?
398
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:21,395
"Outstanding."
399
00:16:21,464 --> 00:16:23,809
No, I've already used that one.
400
00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:25,767
"Super." "Terrific."
401
00:16:25,835 --> 00:16:27,969
No. I used them, too.
402
00:16:28,037 --> 00:16:30,015
"Head and shoulders
above the crowd."
403
00:16:30,039 --> 00:16:31,739
Hey, that's great.
404
00:16:36,613 --> 00:16:39,480
"There have been many
great men in our country...
405
00:16:39,548 --> 00:16:42,783
"Washington, Lincoln... But
we have a man in our school
406
00:16:42,852 --> 00:16:44,852
who is just as
great: Mr. Price."
407
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,470
Mr. Price?!
408
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:47,819
The science teacher?
409
00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:49,540
Yeah. Here's the carbon copy
410
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:51,058
if you want to read it.
411
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:53,511
Are you kidding?
412
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:55,913
When I had him, we
called him "Mr. Sourpuss."
413
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,682
That's just the way you see him.
414
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,951
I've got to get this column
over to my editor right away.
415
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:06,390
Washington, Lincoln...
and Mr. Price?!
416
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,208
Good morning, Mr. Price.
417
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,578
What is so good
about it, may I ask?
418
00:17:10,646 --> 00:17:11,790
No, Marcia.
419
00:17:11,814 --> 00:17:13,759
I can still see your lips move.
420
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:16,650
It's not easy to talk
with your mouth closed.
421
00:17:16,719 --> 00:17:18,129
Marcia, Jan, you
got to read this.
422
00:17:18,153 --> 00:17:19,587
You won't believe it.
423
00:17:22,257 --> 00:17:23,924
Mr. Price?!
424
00:17:23,993 --> 00:17:25,359
Peter's flipped.
425
00:17:25,427 --> 00:17:28,780
I'm Mr. Price, and
even I don't believe it.
426
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,281
I don't blame you.
427
00:17:30,349 --> 00:17:31,449
It gets better.
428
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:32,450
There you are.
429
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:33,684
Say, listen, Hi, Dad.
430
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:34,997
I thought you were
going to take care
431
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,031
of that back lawn
this afternoon.
432
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,122
Oh, yeah, I will,
Dad. Right away.
433
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:40,792
What's so funny?
434
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:42,170
Look, look. This
is. Look, read it.
435
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:44,239
It's Scoop Brady's
latest column.
436
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:47,131
You mean we got an Art
Buchwald in the family?
437
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:49,133
I'm not sure. Look, look.
438
00:17:51,020 --> 00:17:53,670
I don't think I've gotten
to the funny part yet.
439
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,773
It's all funny if you
know Mr. Price.
440
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,057
He's the dullest.
441
00:17:57,126 --> 00:17:58,636
I'm not going to have
him until next year,
442
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,172
but everybody in the
whole school knows
443
00:18:00,196 --> 00:18:01,996
how dull Mr. Price is.
444
00:18:02,064 --> 00:18:03,314
He's the kind of guy, Dad,
445
00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:05,082
who tells the
class jokes in Latin.
446
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:07,050
And, all semester,
only one kid laughed,
447
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,120
and he was Italian.
448
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:13,090
Come on. I think you're
being a little hard on Mr. Price.
449
00:18:13,159 --> 00:18:14,419
It's not that he's
a bad teacher.
450
00:18:14,443 --> 00:18:15,520
He just has a little trouble
451
00:18:15,544 --> 00:18:16,621
getting through to the kids.
452
00:18:16,645 --> 00:18:17,756
According to this,
453
00:18:17,780 --> 00:18:19,174
he seems to have
gotten through to Peter.
454
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:21,616
Listen, don't forget
the lawn, okay?
455
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:24,084
I won't. I won't. Okay.
456
00:18:24,153 --> 00:18:25,297
Do you think Peter
457
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:26,632
actually thinks he's great?
458
00:18:26,656 --> 00:18:28,088
Are you kidding?
459
00:18:28,157 --> 00:18:29,290
He's got to have some reason
460
00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:30,424
for writing that column.
461
00:18:35,631 --> 00:18:37,264
A "D"?
462
00:18:37,332 --> 00:18:38,577
What's that, Mrs. Brady?
463
00:18:38,601 --> 00:18:40,500
Look what I found
in Peter's jacket.
464
00:18:40,570 --> 00:18:41,769
It's his science test.
465
00:18:41,837 --> 00:18:43,314
I thought it hadn't
even been graded yet.
466
00:18:43,338 --> 00:18:44,605
Oh, my.
467
00:18:44,674 --> 00:18:47,641
And "D" sure doesn't
stand for "dandy."
468
00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:51,011
No wonder he was
being so evasive about it.
469
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,025
Well, I'm not
excusing Peter, honey,
470
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,126
but it isn't easy
to tell your parents
471
00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:56,194
about a bad grade.
472
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,417
He's a good student.
473
00:18:57,486 --> 00:18:59,186
I'll bet he didn't study at all.
474
00:18:59,254 --> 00:19:00,832
You know, it's really ironic.
475
00:19:00,856 --> 00:19:01,856
How do you mean?
476
00:19:01,924 --> 00:19:03,201
Well, because Peter wrote
477
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,870
a whole column about Mr. Price.
478
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,504
He made him sound like a cross
479
00:19:06,528 --> 00:19:08,991
between Albert Einstein
and Albert Schweitzer.
480
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:10,080
Yeah, well, I'll bet
481
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,749
that was before he got the "D."
482
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:14,338
No. As a matter of fact, he...
483
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:17,555
he wrote it after.
484
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,390
How did you find my test?
485
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:20,738
Well, you left it
486
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,905
in the pocket of your jacket.
487
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:23,929
Oh.
488
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,663
Well, it was a tough test, Dad.
489
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:26,814
Ask any of the kids.
490
00:19:26,882 --> 00:19:28,599
I'm sure it was.
491
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,713
Look, Peter, your mother and I
492
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,715
wouldn't mind the "D" so much
493
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:35,606
if we thought you had
done your very best.
494
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,652
But you didn't, did you?
495
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:38,809
No.
496
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:39,988
No, you didn't.
497
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,489
You were spending too much time
498
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,025
being Scoop Brady, reporter,
499
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:44,143
not enough time being
500
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:46,145
Peter Brady, student, right?
501
00:19:46,169 --> 00:19:47,169
I'm sorry.
502
00:19:47,236 --> 00:19:48,236
Mmm.
503
00:19:48,304 --> 00:19:49,603
Listen...
504
00:19:49,672 --> 00:19:52,573
about this article you
wrote this afternoon
505
00:19:52,642 --> 00:19:53,740
about Mr. Price.
506
00:19:53,809 --> 00:19:55,154
You know about that, too?
507
00:19:55,178 --> 00:19:56,710
Yes, I do.
508
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,445
Now, was that,
like your article says
509
00:19:58,514 --> 00:20:00,181
"The Whole Truth,"
510
00:20:00,249 --> 00:20:03,350
or was that just
a snow job, huh?
511
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:04,785
In hopes of getting Mr. Price
512
00:20:04,853 --> 00:20:06,119
to give you a better grade
513
00:20:06,189 --> 00:20:07,688
on your report card?
514
00:20:07,756 --> 00:20:10,090
A snow job, I guess.
515
00:20:11,527 --> 00:20:15,262
Son, there is a thing
called "Power of the press."
516
00:20:15,331 --> 00:20:17,665
And, with the use of that power,
517
00:20:17,733 --> 00:20:19,300
comes responsibility.
518
00:20:19,369 --> 00:20:22,653
I guess I wasn't very
responsible, was I?
519
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,004
No, you weren't.
520
00:20:24,073 --> 00:20:27,058
Writing nice things
about your friends,
521
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:30,861
or about Mr. Price, just
to get personal reward
522
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:33,364
isn't exactly honest reporting.
523
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:34,898
But what can I do now?
524
00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:37,328
I've already turned
in the column.
525
00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:41,222
I'm sure you'll
think of something.
526
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:50,492
Yes, Peter?
527
00:20:50,516 --> 00:20:52,083
Good morning, Mr. Price.
528
00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:53,918
I guess I'm a little early.
529
00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:55,267
You are, indeed.
530
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:58,555
Your class doesn't occur
for another three hours.
531
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:01,492
Sir, I have to talk to
you about something.
532
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:02,571
Proceed.
533
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,528
I wrote a column about you,
534
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,697
it's coming out in the paper,
535
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,866
and some of the things I said
536
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,501
I didn't really mean.
537
00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:11,647
Oh?
538
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:12,671
Like, I said you were
539
00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:14,571
the greatest
teacher in the world.
540
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,307
I didn't really
mean the greatest.
541
00:21:17,376 --> 00:21:19,910
I meant fantastic.
542
00:21:22,581 --> 00:21:24,682
Not really fantastic.
543
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:26,733
More like terrific.
544
00:21:29,521 --> 00:21:32,022
Not terrific... I meant...
545
00:21:32,091 --> 00:21:34,659
I know what you meant, Peter.
546
00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:37,161
I believe this is the article
547
00:21:37,229 --> 00:21:38,996
to which you are referring.
548
00:21:39,065 --> 00:21:41,031
Yeah. How did you get it?
549
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:42,232
Newspaper procedure...
550
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:43,712
An editor has to
verify factual data
551
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:45,052
before it's printed.
552
00:21:45,121 --> 00:21:46,536
Oh.
553
00:21:46,605 --> 00:21:49,372
Peter, I've been
a teacher too long
554
00:21:49,441 --> 00:21:52,076
not to recognize
a soft-soap job.
555
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,243
Snow job, sir.
556
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,696
Snow job, soft soap, whatever.
557
00:21:55,765 --> 00:21:57,348
Your flattery was as transparent
558
00:21:57,416 --> 00:21:59,750
as the membranous
appendage of a lepidoptera.
559
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:01,085
A what?
560
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,553
The wing of a butterfly.
561
00:22:02,621 --> 00:22:05,389
"Lepidoptera" is the
scientific name for "butterfly."
562
00:22:05,457 --> 00:22:07,219
You should have
known that, Peter.
563
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:10,143
Oh. I thought I
was being subtle.
564
00:22:10,212 --> 00:22:12,780
Oh, I can read
between the lines.
565
00:22:12,848 --> 00:22:15,949
I take it from this,
566
00:22:16,018 --> 00:22:18,786
that my students find
me somewhat remote
567
00:22:18,854 --> 00:22:20,654
and lacking in wit.
568
00:22:20,722 --> 00:22:23,357
Boy, you really can
read between the lines.
569
00:22:23,426 --> 00:22:25,526
Also, I take it I may have
570
00:22:25,595 --> 00:22:28,128
some problem of communication.
571
00:22:28,197 --> 00:22:29,891
Well, it's just with all those
572
00:22:29,915 --> 00:22:31,559
Greek and Latin words you use,
573
00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:34,535
the kids almost have to
be professors to understand.
574
00:22:34,604 --> 00:22:38,805
Well, perhaps we've
both learned something
575
00:22:38,874 --> 00:22:40,508
from this experience.
576
00:22:40,576 --> 00:22:41,775
Yes, sir.
577
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:48,665
Oh, Mr. Price.
578
00:22:48,735 --> 00:22:49,900
Could you give me a hint
579
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:52,169
to what my final grade
of the semester will be?
580
00:22:52,238 --> 00:22:55,505
You'll get exactly what
you deserve, Peter.
581
00:22:56,892 --> 00:22:59,926
That's what I was afraid of.
582
00:23:05,768 --> 00:23:06,800
Hi, Dad.
583
00:23:06,869 --> 00:23:08,129
Hello, Peter.
584
00:23:08,153 --> 00:23:09,436
I just want to tell you
585
00:23:09,505 --> 00:23:11,566
that I talked to Mr. Price,
and I told him what I did.
586
00:23:11,590 --> 00:23:13,023
Well, I'm glad, son.
587
00:23:13,092 --> 00:23:15,175
That took courage to do that.
588
00:23:15,244 --> 00:23:16,260
And, from now on,
589
00:23:16,328 --> 00:23:17,572
I'm not going to
take any candy bars
590
00:23:17,596 --> 00:23:18,963
or movie passes
or anything else,
591
00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:20,564
no matter what I
write in my column.
592
00:23:20,633 --> 00:23:21,882
That a boy.
593
00:23:21,950 --> 00:23:23,328
I bet you feel better
about that, don't you?
594
00:23:23,352 --> 00:23:24,701
I sure do.
595
00:23:24,770 --> 00:23:27,320
Especially about
Mr. Price, he was really nice.
596
00:23:27,389 --> 00:23:29,289
I feel better about that, too.
597
00:23:29,358 --> 00:23:30,685
You do? Uh-huh.
598
00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:31,791
That's great.
599
00:23:31,860 --> 00:23:32,959
Could you hold that feeling
600
00:23:33,028 --> 00:23:34,308
until my science
grade comes out?
601
00:23:49,478 --> 00:23:50,722
Are you almost through, honey?
602
00:23:50,746 --> 00:23:52,780
Yeah, sweetheart. I'm
down to my last signature.
603
00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:54,981
Boy, I bet I'm the only
parent in the neighborhood
604
00:23:55,050 --> 00:23:57,518
who gets writer's cramp
signing report cards.
605
00:23:57,586 --> 00:23:59,197
Well, the kids did all right,
606
00:23:59,221 --> 00:24:01,366
even counting Peter's
problem with Mr. Price.
607
00:24:01,390 --> 00:24:02,589
Oh, yeah.
608
00:24:02,658 --> 00:24:03,791
Well, he got a "C."
609
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:08,261
Altogether, I think
they got 12 A's, 29 B's,
610
00:24:08,330 --> 00:24:09,763
and only seven C's.
611
00:24:09,832 --> 00:24:11,175
Well, that's a good average.
612
00:24:11,199 --> 00:24:12,199
You betcha.
613
00:24:12,267 --> 00:24:13,567
Good night, honey.
614
00:24:16,672 --> 00:24:18,839
I'd give it a "C."
615
00:24:22,845 --> 00:24:24,612
Give what a "C"?
616
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,961
That kiss... I'd give it a "C."
617
00:24:28,851 --> 00:24:32,253
How about a chance to
improve my grade, Teach?
618
00:24:32,321 --> 00:24:34,622
That seems fair.
619
00:24:43,766 --> 00:24:48,034
Hmm... yes, that's
definitely a "B."
620
00:24:48,103 --> 00:24:49,336
Only a "B"?!
621
00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:50,685
Well, I'm sorry.
622
00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:52,551
I calls 'em as I feels 'em.
623
00:24:52,575 --> 00:24:55,643
How about another
chance for a willing pupil?
624
00:24:55,711 --> 00:24:57,951
Fire when ready, Gridley.
625
00:25:10,776 --> 00:25:13,143
Now, that's an "A."
40374
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