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1
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,260
[upbeat pop music playing]
2
00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:14,889
- [music fades]
- [loudly] Please rise
3
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,975
- for an American hero!
- [audience laughs]
4
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,601
Ah, I don't know about hero.
5
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,478
A god among men? Definitely.
6
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:23,231
- [audience laughs]
- Not you, Dad. Him!
7
00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:24,774
- Aw, that's cute!
- [audience coos]
8
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,193
When I was your age,
my class had a hamster, too.
9
00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:30,905
- Please, this isn't some street rodent.
- [audience laughs]
10
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,615
He's from the smart kid class.
11
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:35,076
His name is Captain La Mont Periwinkle,
12
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,454
- [audience laughs]
- and he's been to space... twice.
13
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:40,373
He's seen things you can't even imagine.
14
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,916
I don't know, I once saw
15
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,127
The Undertaker deliver a baby
in the Superdome.
16
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,480
- It was beautiful.
- [audience laughs]
17
00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:48,757
Wow, you look nice.
Are you going to court or something?
18
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,050
[audience laughs]
19
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,260
What? No, I just got a new top.
20
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,345
Guys, look what he sent me.
21
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:55,889
[Mandy and JJ] Aw!
22
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,808
What did, uh... What did who send you?
23
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:00,559
[audience laughs]
24
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,902
- Oh... I don't like that.
- [audience laughs]
25
00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:05,231
Is Mom still at the gym?
26
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:08,193
Yes. And that's good, 'cause, actually,
I want to talk to you guys.
27
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:09,444
Okay, [sighs]
28
00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:12,363
getting fired
has been really tough on her,
29
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,699
so she might be acting a little weird.
30
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,786
But don't worry about it,
it's just the process.
31
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:18,869
The process?
32
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,288
Yeah, whenever she hits a setback,
33
00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:22,874
she goes through ten specific stages,
which I've named.
34
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:24,876
Right now, she's on stage one,
35
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,437
- Darkening Clouds,
- [audience laughs]
36
00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:27,796
when she's really down.
37
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,090
- Woo-hoo! [laughing] Yes!
- [audience laughs]
38
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,883
I had the best morning.
39
00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:34,094
I set a new record on the leaderboard
at spin class
40
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,470
and made the old winner cry.
41
00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:37,597
Suck it, Fit Mom 29!
42
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:38,765
[audience laughs]
43
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:41,351
- Being fired is amazing.
- [audience laughs]
44
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,396
She's a real mess, Dad. [chuckles]
45
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,523
[audience laughs]
46
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,359
Oh, hey,
47
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:50,902
that top is so cute.
48
00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:52,105
[hushed] He's gonna love it.
49
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,029
- You think so?
- Yeah.
50
00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:55,532
BT Dubs, he just told me
he wants to go to an Escape Room.
51
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:56,950
You're obsessed with those.
52
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:57,909
He is, too!
53
00:01:57,992 --> 00:02:00,537
He already looked up the record time,
and we're gonna crush it.
54
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,498
Oh, my God, that is so cute.
You're both terrifyingly competitive.
55
00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:04,499
I know, right?
56
00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:05,582
[audience laughs]
57
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,854
- Okay, what... What's going on?
- [door closes]
58
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,797
Are all the women in this house
planning a coup?
59
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:11,881
[audience laughs]
60
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,008
- No...
- I mean, just be honest,
61
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,009
'cause I just need
62
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,094
a five-minute head start.
63
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:18,763
No, Lola has been hanging out
with a new boy at school,
64
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:20,324
- and he asked her out.
- That's great.
65
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:21,975
- Yep.
- [stammers] What's his name?
66
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:23,268
Uh, Greg Turbo.
67
00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:25,019
Whoa. Cool name.
68
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,146
[audience laughs]
69
00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:28,314
That kind of name,
you gotta own a jet boat.
70
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,315
[audience laughs]
71
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:30,835
- Why didn't she tell me?
- You know,
72
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:33,899
it's her first date since moving here.
I guess she's worried you might freak.
73
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,238
[strained] What? That's crazy!
74
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,240
- [scoffs]
- I'm not some old-school dad
75
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,993
that's gonna meet the kid at the door
with a loaded shotgun.
76
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,744
- [audience laughs]
- I'm a cool dad.
77
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:42,912
Oh, really?
78
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,747
You might wanna tell that
to your collection
79
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:45,874
of fanny packs.
80
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:48,251
- [audience laughs]
- Hey, six is barely a collection!
81
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,377
[audience laughs]
82
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:50,646
- Love you. [kisses]
- [kisses]
83
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,713
[audience laughs]
84
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,506
[bells ding]
85
00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,049
[upbeat pop opening credits playing]
86
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,096
- [music fades]
- Lola's dating?
87
00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:01,890
- Already?
- [sighs]
88
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,850
Man, honestly, I thought we had more time.
89
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,268
We? They're my daughters.
90
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,551
- But they're my emergency contacts.
- [audience laughs]
91
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,484
Man, slide out here
so I can get some reps, bro.
92
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,899
You sure? This is a lot of weight.
93
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,942
Please. I'm stronger than I look.
94
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,360
I don't think that's true.
95
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:15,486
[audience laughs]
96
00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:18,656
Okay, what's this cat's name?
97
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,533
Greg Turbo.
98
00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:22,075
- For real?
- Yeah.
99
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,454
That's cool.
That's a name of a professional assassin.
100
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:25,681
- [audience laughs]
- Point is,
101
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,874
we gotta lay down the law right away
with this dude.
102
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,709
Eh... I just want to support Lola.
103
00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:32,003
- [chuckles] That's so stupid.
- [audience laughs]
104
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,464
Okay, here's the deal, Show.
105
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,883
You are the old silverback,
106
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,342
and Turbo...
107
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:40,553
God, that name is tight.
108
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:41,637
[audience laughs]
109
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,516
...is the young gorilla coming up
in your house beating his chest.
110
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,060
If you don't establish dominance,
111
00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,853
you gonna have big trouble.
112
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:51,356
Eh, I don't think that's true.
I think you're overreacting.
113
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:52,523
Oh, am I? [chuckles]
114
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:55,360
You got two more daughters, my friend.
115
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,987
If you don't nip this in the bud
right away,
116
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,406
you're gonna have boyfriends
running all over your business
117
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,574
for the rest of your life.
118
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:02,658
[yelling] Bring it on!
119
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,220
- [audience laughs]
- [Big Show grunts]
120
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:05,745
[Terry struggles]
121
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:07,932
- You know, you might be right.
- [continued struggling]
122
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,290
Who does this kid think he is?
123
00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,167
[yelling] I'm the silverback!
124
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,543
[strained] I'm in trouble, Show.
125
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:13,503
[audience laughs]
126
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,004
[breathes shakily] A little help!
127
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,589
- [audience laughs]
- A lot of help!
128
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,550
- Thought you said you were strong.
- [screaming] All the help, Show!
129
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,028
- [audience laughs]
- [Terry exhales]
130
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,112
- [bar clanks]
- [both pant]
131
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,136
[upbeat music playing]
132
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,101
- [music fades]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
133
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:30,645
- Why has everything moved around?
- Isn't it great?
134
00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:32,939
I was watching Queer Eye
and I suddenly realized
135
00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:35,102
- the flow in here was all wrong.
- [audience laughs]
136
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,192
But, Mom,
137
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,945
- I have things in very specific places.
- [audience laughs]
138
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:40,905
Yeah! Yeah, honey, I found the cash.
139
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,408
- Great job saving your allowance.
- And the euros?
140
00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:44,367
- What?
- Nothing.
141
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,450
[audience laughs]
142
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:47,870
- What's that?
- Oh!
143
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:50,665
This is how we are going to crush
Hamster Week.
144
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:53,584
Mom, every week is Hamster Week
if you're a hamster.
145
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:55,688
- [audience laughs]
- Look, when your classmate Jenna
146
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:57,512
had the hamster,
her mom went above and beyond
147
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,027
and built a maze to make him smarter.
148
00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,633
Well, I am going above
149
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:04,095
"above and beyond"
and making him Instagram famous.
150
00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:05,263
Check it out.
151
00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:06,973
[audience laughs]
152
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,268
- He's Maverick from Top Gun.
- [audience laughs]
153
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:11,853
The whole thing is weird,
154
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:13,938
but he does make
that tiny bomber jacket work.
155
00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:15,565
I have done a bunch of these.
156
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,026
Ooh! Just wait until you see the one
where he's at Coachella
157
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:20,229
- breaking up with Kendall Jenner.
- [audience laughs]
158
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:25,992
Oof. I picked the wrong week
to quit drinking Capri Sun.
159
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,160
[audience laughs]
160
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:28,286
[upbeat music playing]
161
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:30,038
[music fades]
162
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:31,456
Hey, Mom's been acting super...
163
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:33,099
Oh, my God! What happened to your hair?
164
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,124
[audience laughs]
165
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:35,335
Mom happened!
166
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,045
I just wanted my hair braided.
167
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:39,023
- [whooshing]
- [grunts] How's that? Tight enough?
168
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:41,257
- You know what? I think we can go tighter.
- No!
169
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,176
- [whooshing]
- I just wanted a simple braid,
170
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:44,469
and she went nuts.
171
00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:46,929
And now, my hair is so angry.
172
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,116
- [audience laughs]
- We have to do something about Mom.
173
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,140
I know.
174
00:05:50,224 --> 00:05:51,893
I'm a little worried about her.
175
00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:54,257
She's obviously deflecting her feelings
about being fired.
176
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:57,106
She has to face her emotions
in order to get past them.
177
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,275
Whoa. Where did you get all that?
178
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,818
I got it from my friend, Jen.
179
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:03,654
She and her family go to therapy
because her sister eats paper.
180
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,138
- [audience laughs]
- [phone chimes]
181
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,950
Cool. How does that help us?
182
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,370
'Cause Jen showed me
the therapy technique.
183
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,181
- [phone chimes]
- I can totally do it on Mom!
184
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,499
Okay, but didn't Dad say something
185
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,084
about a process or whatever?
186
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,378
Yeah, but Dad doesn't know everything.
187
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:21,005
He told me that I don't need a bra
until next year.
188
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,257
- You don't.
- [yelling] Yes, I do!
189
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:24,693
- [audience laughs]
- [Mandy groans]
190
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,469
[upbeat music plays, then fades]
191
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:30,723
Um... Why are you wearing that?
192
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:33,226
- What? This championship belt?
- [audience laughs]
193
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:35,561
That's holding up my championship pants?;
194
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,897
- [audience laughs]
- Okay, who told you about my date?
195
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:40,608
Doesn't matter.
I know all about Greg Turbo.
196
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:41,775
Baller name, by the way.
197
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:42,944
[audience laughs]
198
00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:43,861
And I wanna meet him.
199
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:45,905
Fine, just promise you won't be weird.
200
00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:47,824
- [doorbell rings]
- Or at least, any weirder.
201
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:48,907
[audience laughs]
202
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,375
- Hey, Lola! You look great.
- [crickets chirp]
203
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,704
Thanks, so do you.
204
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,582
- Does she?
- [door slams]
205
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:57,834
[audience laughs]
206
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,130
Does she look "great"?
207
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:03,589
- [audience laughs]
- Lola, [sighs]
208
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,216
why don't you introduce me
209
00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:07,009
to your tiny breakable friend?
210
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,177
[audience laughs]
211
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,637
Greg Turbo.
212
00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:11,407
- [paper tearing]
- [grunts]
213
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,974
- [audience laughs]
- [paper rustles]
214
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:17,478
Where did you even get a phonebook?
215
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,188
Old man Jacobs next door.
216
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:22,900
I just sit and drink buttermilk with him
while he told me about the Korean war.
217
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,277
[audience laughs]
218
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,903
Your Dad's the Big Show?
219
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,655
[stammers] I'm a huge fan.
220
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,574
Lola, no wonder you're so awesome.
221
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:32,285
- [chuckles] That's kinda nice.
- [audience laughs]
222
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:34,620
Good, you know me,
so you know what I do to my enemies.
223
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,582
Yeah! You give them the choke-slam, boom!
224
00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:40,501
Only the single greatest signature move
in professional wrestling.
225
00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:42,545
- I at least make a few lifts.
- [audience laughs]
226
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,338
Dad, can I talk to you?
227
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:48,342
Are you intimidating him
or planning a sleepover?
228
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,928
- I'm sorry, he's really charming.
- [audience laughs]
229
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,680
And that smile, are you kidding me?
230
00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:53,639
[audience laughs]
231
00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,057
Okay, I'll dial it back.
232
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,853
Oh, man. Shannon and Mark
are bailing on the Escape Room.
233
00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:01,939
They broke up cause Mark said
Lizzo's music just wasn't for him.
234
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,693
Wow! And after she supported him
through quitting Diet Coke.
235
00:08:05,776 --> 00:08:06,776
[audience laughs]
236
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:08,219
What's worse is they were our ride.
237
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:09,405
Hey, I can give you a ride.
238
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:10,906
Thanks!
239
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:14,202
Hey, if you're driving, why don't you
just do the Escape Room with us?
240
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,996
You know, we have two spots
and you're like the size of two people.
241
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:18,372
[audience laughs]
242
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:19,999
- No offense.
- Ah, none taken.
243
00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:22,126
Literally, it's true, you know? I'm in!
244
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,253
If it's okay with Lola.
245
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,546
Um, well...
246
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,590
If your Dad's half as cool as you,
247
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:28,922
it could be a great night.
248
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:30,718
- Okay.
- [audience coos]
249
00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,678
You've made it impossible to say no.
250
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:33,763
- Let's do it.
- Yay!
251
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:36,140
- [audience laughs]
- Do you have, like, a giant car?
252
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:37,744
[deepens voice] Yes, I do, Greg Turbo.
253
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:38,643
Yes, I do.
254
00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:39,810
[audience laughs]
255
00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,730
You don't have to use his full name
every time.
256
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:43,893
[deepened voice] Yes, I do.
257
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,358
[audience laughs]
258
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,652
[upbeat music playing]
259
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,197
[music fades]
260
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,659
- Whoa.
- [audience laughs]
261
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,786
I had a flu dream like this once,
262
00:08:56,994 --> 00:08:58,579
except Ed Sheeran was there
263
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:01,415
and he was genuinely concerned
about my hydration.
264
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:02,500
[audience laughs]
265
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:03,626
- What's up, Mom?
- Oh!
266
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,586
I'm putting together some Sklerves.
267
00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:08,130
That does not make things clearer.
268
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,466
- [audience laughs]
- They're shoe towers from Ikea.
269
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,719
Tan France form Queer Eye says
you should treat your shoes like royalty
270
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:14,845
and keep them in a tower.
271
00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,097
[audience laughs]
272
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,974
Don't you see what these Sklerves are?
273
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,935
Yeah, Scandinavian garbage furniture.
274
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:22,144
- [audience laughs]
- No!
275
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,189
Mom is using this project
to avoid her feelings about being fired.
276
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,608
I have to do that therapy thing.
277
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,610
- [awestruck] Sklerve.
- [audience laughs]
278
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,822
Yes, Mom needs our help.
279
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,239
Do it.
280
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,075
[drawn out] Hey,
281
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:37,577
- Mom!
- [audience laughs]
282
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:39,620
Can you please sit across from me,
283
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:42,999
touching knees
and looking straight into my eyes?
284
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,917
That's weirdly specific, but okay.
285
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,877
- [audience laughs]
- [Cassy clears her throat]
286
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,462
[gently] Mom,
287
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,424
we all have feelings,
and feelings can be scary.
288
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:55,303
But if we don't look at them,
they get scarier.
289
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:56,304
So the best thing
290
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,680
to do is to face them.
291
00:09:58,264 --> 00:09:59,640
Oh, my God! Yes!
292
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:00,850
You're welcome!
293
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:01,767
No, no, no!
294
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,644
While you were talking
about... whatever,
295
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,438
I just realized that I can make
296
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,565
a tiny Sklerve out of these extra parts
297
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:09,108
for Captain Periwinkle!
298
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:10,359
[audience laughs]
299
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:14,572
Wow, Mom is super invested
in that hamster.
300
00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:16,735
- [audience laughs]
- [gasps] That's it! The hamster!
301
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,367
That'll fix Mom!
302
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:21,537
[laughs menacingly] I love you,
you evil genius.
303
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,539
- [audience laughs]
- I am not an evil genius.
304
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:25,958
I'm obviously talking about myself.
305
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:26,959
Try to keep up.
306
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,043
[audience laughs]
307
00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:30,588
[upbeat pop music playing]
308
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:34,967
- [music fades]
- [seagulls cawing]
309
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:36,862
- [low energy] Arg.
- [audience laughs]
310
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,763
I be the ghost of Stabby Pete.
311
00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:41,140
You have 30 minutes
to find your way out of me ship
312
00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:42,391
before the briny sea
313
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,475
floods the room.
314
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,895
And if you get stuck,
don't worry, I can totally help.
315
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:48,189
- [takes a deep breath] Yee.
- [audience laughs]
316
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:49,607
Your adventure begins now.
317
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:50,566
[clicks remote]
318
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:51,942
[adventurous music playing]
319
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:54,654
Wow, that kid has a lot to learn
about staying in character.
320
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:57,192
I've been dying to do
this pirate-themed Escape Room.
321
00:10:57,239 --> 00:10:58,239
That's why I booked it.
322
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,212
You know,
we should check the grog bottles.
323
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:01,118
That's obviously...
324
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,722
[together]...where the first clue is.
325
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:05,081
No, we need to turn those sconces.
326
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,582
That'll open a secret passage.
327
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,293
Dad, it's a strip mall Escape Room,
not Hogwarts.
328
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:10,252
[audience laughs]
329
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,336
You'll see.
330
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:12,922
You wanna fly, Greg Turbo?
331
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,325
[awed] More than almost anything!
332
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:15,382
[audience laughs]
333
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:19,303
- [keyboard clacking]
- This is a normal first date thing, right?
334
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,180
I don't know. They seem happy.
335
00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:22,556
[audience laughs]
336
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:25,226
[Lola] Hey, you guys!
337
00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:26,227
Check this out!
338
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:27,478
So I told Mankind,
339
00:11:27,561 --> 00:11:28,896
“If that's how you truly feel,
340
00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:30,779
then you don't have to come
to my pool party.”
341
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:31,732
How did he take it?
342
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:32,983
There were some tears.
343
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:34,819
- [audience laughs]
- [Lola scoffs]
344
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,195
Hey! What are you doing?
345
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:38,864
You know, escaping,
'cause we're kinda running out of time.
346
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,410
You're annoyed. I get it.
347
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:46,038
I got a little starstruck with your dad,
but I'm here now. Can I help?
348
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,665
- [seagulls cawing]
- Sure.
349
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:49,917
So these bones all have numbers on them.
350
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:53,416
- Maybe if we put them together...
- We'll get the combo for the escape lock!
351
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,506
- [bones tap]
- We make a good team.
352
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:58,402
- [excited exhale] We sure do!
- [audience laughs]
353
00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,260
Look what I found!
354
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:01,463
I found the key to the escape door!
Come on, let's go.
355
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,805
[audience laughs]
356
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:04,348
The key won't fit.
357
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,058
- It's a combo lock.
- Try harder!
358
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,059
It's a combo lock.
359
00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:09,186
The room is gonna flood,
we're running out of time!
360
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:12,189
- [audience laughs]
- Not on my watch, Greg Turbo. [roars]
361
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:13,353
- [door shatters]
- [grunts]
362
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,442
[audience laughs]
363
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:18,487
Sorry.
364
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,656
Dude, that's our seventh door this month.
365
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,700
God, Tampa has too many wrestlers.
366
00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:23,909
[audience laughs]
367
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:25,786
[upbeat music playing]
368
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:28,164
- [music fades]
- [Mandy and JJ giggle]
369
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,250
Okay, what are you two up to?
370
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:32,460
- Nothing.
- [Cassy screams]
371
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:34,837
That doesn't sound like nothing.
372
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,630
[footsteps thudding] No, no, no, no, no!
373
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:37,757
Babe, are you okay?
374
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,924
[exhales] No!
375
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:42,636
I lost Captain Periwinkle.
I must have left the cage open!
376
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,847
- Mom! How could you?
- My hamster!
377
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,825
- That's so terrible!
- I can't believe it's gone!
378
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,160
- [audience laughs]
- [Cassy sighs]
379
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,184
I know.
380
00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:50,519
I'm the worst.
381
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,188
[inhales sharply] I can't keep a job,
382
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:54,064
[stammers] I can't sell a haunted house,
383
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:56,233
and now I can't even take care
of a space hamster.
384
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:58,420
- [audience laughs]
- He flew to the stars on a rocket,
385
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,654
[crying] and I lost him
in a cul-de-sac in Tampa.
386
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:01,738
[audience laughs]
387
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,843
- At least you faced your feelings.
- [Cassy sniffles]
388
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:05,993
Don't you feel better?
389
00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:06,911
What?
390
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,704
No! I feel worse!
391
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:12,249
I mean, this is just proof
that the only thing that I am useful for
392
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:13,876
is being useless.
393
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:14,959
[Cassy yelps]
394
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,798
[stern] Explain now, quickly.
395
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:21,300
- I was only lightly involved.
- Not true!
396
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:23,010
Mandy said we needed to fix Mom,
397
00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:24,553
but I think we broke her instead.
398
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:28,349
We hid Captain Periwinkle
to try to help Mom face her feelings.
399
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:30,267
Mm. Come here.
400
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,438
Look, I told you guys Mom has a process.
401
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:37,066
She should be at stage three,
Building Fury,
402
00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:39,360
but thanks to you amateur psychiatrists,
403
00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:41,362
she's now at stage six,
404
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:42,446
[audience laughs]
405
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:43,405
Breaking Wind.
406
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:44,949
JJ, don't laugh at that.
407
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:46,283
[audience laughs]
408
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:47,701
We're sorry, Dad.
409
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:48,994
[sighs heavily] Come here.
410
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,831
It's okay, I know how to fix it.
411
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:55,334
I'll just get her six pints of ice cream
and a value pack of Lactaid.
412
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,086
[audience laughs]
413
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,629
[upbeat music playing]
414
00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,298
[music fades]
415
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,801
So, in order to solve for the X intercept,
416
00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:05,386
just set Y to equal zero.
417
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,429
Oh. Thank you.
418
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:11,475
You know, I love Mr. Hornsby,
but his math rap is so confusing.
419
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:12,852
It's kinda catchy though.
420
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,186
♪ When A is big ♪
421
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,396
♪ B equals C ♪
422
00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:16,480
♪ Your triangle becomes ♪
423
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:17,773
♪ Isosceles ♪
424
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:18,899
♪ Isosceles ♪
425
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,234
♪ Isosceles ♪
426
00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:21,318
♪ Check out these ♪
427
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:22,695
♪ Isosceles ♪
428
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:23,612
♪ Math ♪
429
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:24,864
[audience laughs]
430
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:26,824
[audience oohs]
431
00:14:26,907 --> 00:14:28,075
Were you about to kiss me?
432
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:29,785
I was thinking about it.
433
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:31,245
[Big Show yelling] Oh!
434
00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,830
Dang! Look who's in the house!
435
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:34,790
You better fasten your seat belts
436
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,750
'cause we gonna have some Turbo-lence!
437
00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:37,668
[audience laughs]
438
00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:39,753
Must be because of the Show-storm!
439
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,922
[together] Whoop! [yelling uproariously]
440
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,090
[audience laughs]
441
00:14:43,173 --> 00:14:46,302
Whatever that was
will haunt me for a long time.
442
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:47,928
Bro, look what I found.
443
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:49,470
This...
444
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:50,848
is a collector's item,
445
00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:52,349
and I want you to have it.
446
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:53,684
[audience laughs]
447
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:56,061
Whatever you do, don't wear it in France.
448
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,313
[audience laughs]
449
00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,315
They will straight up mug you for it.
450
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,441
[audience laughs]
451
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:03,652
This is dope!
452
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,570
Wow.
453
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:06,238
My eyes bring out your eyes.
454
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,323
[audience laughs]
455
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:08,907
Let you get back to it.
456
00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:11,660
- [mouths "wow"]
- [audience laughs]
457
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,414
So about that kiss thing?
458
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,626
Nope! Not gonna work.
459
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,003
- My dad's staring right at me.
- [audience laughs]
460
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:22,713
[upbeat music playing]
461
00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:25,215
Dad is stealing my boyfriend!
462
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:28,302
Ooh... So Greg is your boyfriend now?
463
00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:29,803
I don't know, maybe.
464
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,014
He has long eyelashes
and he laughs at my jokes.
465
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,409
- I've seen relationships built on worse.
- [audience laughs]
466
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:35,953
I'm trying to see if anything's there,
467
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,812
but Dad keeps getting in the middle
before I can figure it out.
468
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:39,939
I need to talk to Cassy.
469
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,690
Uh, yeah, that's not gonna work.
470
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:42,608
Why?
471
00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,818
[Cassy strums guitar]
♪ Bennett, you lied ♪
472
00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:47,029
♪ That's when I cried ♪
473
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:47,947
[knocks guitar]
474
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,949
♪ And now I'm gonna have to ♪
475
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:51,659
[hitting high note] ♪ Hide ♪
476
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:54,203
- [audience laughs]
- She's been doing that all day,
477
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:55,871
and the dogs in the neighborhood
478
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,581
- are going crazy.
- [audience laughs]
479
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,625
Well, I guess I have to deal with Dad
on my own.
480
00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:02,294
And since you guys broke Cassy,
you need to fix her.
481
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:03,420
We tried earlier.
482
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,214
It did not go well.
483
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,841
- [whooshing]
- Good news! We found Captain Periwinkle.
484
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,176
[giggles] You didn't lose him.
485
00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:11,887
Nice try,
but I bet that's not even the Captain.
486
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,390
I've done the old
"replace a dead pet" trick on you girls,
487
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:15,933
like, so many times.
488
00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:17,142
[audience laughs]
489
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,269
- [whooshing]
- I still can't believe
490
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:21,021
she replaced Lady Finsworthy.
491
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:22,606
You never fed that fish.
492
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,608
How do you think she lived
for three years?
493
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:25,526
I don't know!
494
00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:27,695
I assumed she switched bodies
with a younger fish.
495
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:28,946
[audience laughs]
496
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:32,574
This feels like a longer conversation,
but I gotta go.
497
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:33,659
[audience laughs]
498
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:35,535
Let's get to work.
499
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:37,871
Wait, but Dad told us to butt out.
500
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,040
We should just let him handle this.
501
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,458
[Cassy] ♪ My heart is shaking ♪
502
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:42,793
♪ It's a life quake ♪
503
00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:45,379
- ♪ It's a life quake ♪
- [audience laughs]
504
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:47,423
Okay, what's the plan? Hurry.
505
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:48,716
Calm down.
506
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:49,675
I got this.
507
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:52,219
Just bring me Dad's iPad
and three Pixy Stix.
508
00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:53,137
Why Pixy Stix?
509
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,889
Because this machine
needs fuel to run, baby.
510
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:57,016
[audience laughs]
511
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,687
Ooh! I got a cool idea for you
and Greg's next date: batting cages.
512
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:04,290
You know, I love the batting cages,
but I'm not sure about Greg.
513
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:07,109
- Well, I texted him, and he said,
- [audience laughs]
514
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:09,111
“Yeah, I'll take out the trash.”
515
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,572
Then it was, “Oops, sorry.
That was for my mom,
516
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:13,925
- [audience laughs]
- but I'm super in,” so I think he's in.
517
00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:15,409
You guys are texting now?
518
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:17,828
- [animated] All day, everyday!
- Uh, okay.
519
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,706
But the batting cages,
it would be just us, right?
520
00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:22,166
Just us. Me, you and Turbs.
521
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:23,500
[audience laughs]
522
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:24,418
And then next week,
523
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,261
we're gonna go eat fondue
at the Melting Pot.
524
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,838
What I dip, you dip, we dip.
525
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:30,001
- [audience laughs]
- Okay, this has gone far enough.
526
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,529
I think I have to break up with Greg.
527
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:32,468
Why?
528
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:35,262
Because we just started dating,
and he's more into you than me.
529
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,765
You think? Why, did he say something?
530
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,391
- [audience laughs]
- Oh, my God!
531
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:41,602
How can you not see that this is weird?
532
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:44,125
Only thing weird is we'll be
at the batting cages without you.
533
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,356
Okay, let me tell you
how this is gonna go.
534
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,276
If I'm breaking up with him,
you have to, too.
535
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:50,861
- [huffs] Why?
- [audience laughs]
536
00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:52,112
That seems kinda harsh.
537
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,238
[audience laughs]
538
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:54,698
Okay,
539
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:55,782
I'll break up with him,
540
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,386
but I don't know
how we're gonna figure out the custody
541
00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,570
of our Yogurtland punch card.
542
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:00,954
[audience laughs]
543
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:04,500
I cannot believe
you are pretending to be Dad on Twitter!
544
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,168
I know. Pretty cool, right?
545
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,251
- [audience laughs]
- No!
546
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:08,921
It's catfishing!
547
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:11,381
That's an ugly word
for a victimless crime.
548
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:12,674
[audience laughs]
549
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,094
Besides, we're doing this to help Mom.
550
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,346
It's against everything that I stand for.
551
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:20,224
Um, you're secretly dating your opponent
for school president.
552
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:24,394
The ethics ship has sailed for you, babe.
553
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:25,771
[audience laughs]
554
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:26,897
[iPad chimes]
555
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,483
The fish has taken the bait.
556
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,111
They're in Miami, so this is perfect.
557
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:34,446
Now I just need to respond, and...
558
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:36,692
- [iPad jingles]
- it's done.
559
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,909
Wow, it's like you've done this before.
560
00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:41,036
I have. A bunch of times.
561
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,360
- [audience laughs]
- Seriously?
562
00:18:42,412 --> 00:18:44,414
Oh, come on!
Do you really think Hillary Clinton
563
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,125
just called you on your birthday?
564
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,877
- [audience laughs]
- Oh, my God.
565
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,172
Between this and Lady Finsworthy,
is nothing real?
566
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:53,465
[audience laughs]
567
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,801
- [mellow music plays]
- [keys jingle]
568
00:18:57,636 --> 00:18:59,721
- [music fades]
- [crickets chirping]
569
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,223
You're out late, Father.
570
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:02,866
- [Big Show screams]
- [audience laughs]
571
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:04,433
[light clicks on]
572
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:05,894
[upbeat] Oh, uh...
573
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,062
Hi.
574
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,136
What are you doing in the dark?
575
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,429
I could ask you the same thing.
576
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:11,918
- [ice taps]
- Where were you tonight?
577
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,582
Uh, you know, just... [scoffs]
walking the streets, fighting crime.
578
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:15,904
- [audience laughs]
- Oh, stop.
579
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,157
I know you were at the batting cages
with Greg.
580
00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:20,534
He posted your date all over social media.
581
00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:22,786
[sighs] Why can't he just
live in the moment?
582
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,151
- [audience laughs]
- Seriously?
583
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,497
That's your takeaway?
584
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,957
You didn't see this kid's face.
585
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,668
He's going through a real hard time.
He did just get dumped.
586
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:30,751
Dad!
587
00:19:30,919 --> 00:19:33,422
- [audience laughs]
- Fine, I'll do it, I promise.
588
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,550
Not good enough.
This time, I'm gonna need proof.
589
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,444
- [Big Show sighs]
- [audience laughs]
590
00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:39,595
Hey, what's going on?
591
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,410
Dad's breaking up with my boyfriend.
592
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:43,074
- [audience laughs]
- What about you guys?
593
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:44,850
Catfishing a celebrity to help Mom.
594
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,935
Great. Then everything's normal.
595
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,395
- [audience laughs]
- [door opens]
596
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:55,235
It's done.
597
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,820
- [audience laughs]
- [Big Show sighs]
598
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,280
That looked hard.
599
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:00,573
I'm sorry, Dad.
600
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:01,825
I'm the one who's sorry.
601
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,589
I really messed things up
for you and Greg.
602
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,412
Yes, you did, but...
603
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,331
it's not really about Greg.
604
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:10,584
It's about you and me,
and actually, Mandy and JJ, too.
605
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,338
Dad, at some point,
we're all gonna be dating.
606
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:15,923
Aw, don't remind me.
607
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:18,884
I had a nightmare
about you dating a street magician.
608
00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:20,928
- [audience laughs]
- With a tattoo on his face.
609
00:20:21,261 --> 00:20:22,638
And he ruined Thanksgiving!
610
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,014
- [audience laughs]
- Calm down.
611
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,849
All I'm saying is,
612
00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:26,808
if this is gonna work,
613
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:29,812
you're gonna have to chill little bit
and let us figure it out on our own.
614
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:32,773
This is all new territory for me,
and you know how I am about change.
615
00:20:32,856 --> 00:20:35,901
- That's why you hate Doctor Who.
- Right? Stick with one Doctor, man!
616
00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:37,736
- [audience laughs]
- I was just nervous
617
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:40,423
about you dating for the first time,
and when Greg turned out to be
618
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,282
such a nice guy,
I overcompensated a little.
619
00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:43,200
A little?
620
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:45,511
You guys were talking
about going apple picking together.
621
00:20:45,535 --> 00:20:46,662
We were gonna make a tart.
622
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:47,871
[audience laughs]
623
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:51,333
Look, I just wanna find someone
who likes me
624
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:52,960
as much as Greg liked you.
625
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:54,043
And you will.
626
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,212
And when that happens,
627
00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:57,547
I promise I will stay
all the way out of it.
628
00:20:57,631 --> 00:20:59,383
- [doorbell rings]
- Turbs?
629
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:01,718
- [audience laughs]
- That's for us.
630
00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:04,888
[audience cheers]
631
00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,723
Good Lord.
632
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,059
You know, you can Google pictures,
633
00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:10,769
but it doesn't quite prepare you,
634
00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:11,687
does it?
635
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:13,248
- What's happening?
- [audience laughs]
636
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,691
Mr. Show, I'm Tan France from Queer Eye.
637
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:17,067
"Obvi." What are you doing here?
638
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:18,443
You reached out to me
639
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:21,154
on Twitter, and I am so glad you did.
640
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:23,991
- I've had my eye on you for years.
- [audience laughs]
641
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:27,369
I saw a picture of you
in your wrestling costume,
642
00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:28,870
and I was like, [gasps]
643
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,999
- “That's my Everest.”
- [audience laughs]
644
00:21:33,041 --> 00:21:35,210
Thank you for being so brave,
my love. [pats arm]
645
00:21:37,004 --> 00:21:39,357
- [clicks tongue] Don't make me ask again.
- [audience laughs]
646
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:40,716
Dad, I'm so sorry.
647
00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:43,343
We pretended to be you to get Tan here.
648
00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:45,554
But we didn't bring him here for you,
649
00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:47,097
we brought him here...
650
00:21:48,056 --> 00:21:49,056
for her.
651
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:51,351
- [audience laughs]
- [designers gasp]
652
00:21:51,977 --> 00:21:54,313
Uh, Jacobi, we do not get scared.
653
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,024
Actually, that is pretty scary.
654
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,317
Uh, is that a ghost?
655
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,360
'Cause that's a different show.
656
00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:01,820
[audience laughs]
657
00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:05,115
- [whooshing]
- Okay, you guys! What do you think?
658
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,826
- [Cassy chuckles]
- Wow, Cassy, you look amazing!
659
00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:08,994
Yeah, cute, right?
660
00:22:09,077 --> 00:22:12,497
- [Big Show] Wow.
- I am so glad to be out of those sweats.
661
00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,207
Good, because, uh, Fatima burned them
662
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:15,601
- in the fire pit.
- [Cassy laughs]
663
00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:16,811
- [audience laughs]
- Thank you.
664
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:18,915
- Oh, and, uh, I'm sorry about our girls.
- [Tan] Oh.
665
00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:22,549
They just really wanted to help their mom,
they went a little overboard.
666
00:22:22,632 --> 00:22:23,967
- It's fine.
- [stern] Right?
667
00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:25,093
Absolutely.
668
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:27,346
And if it makes you feel any better,
669
00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:30,682
the guilt of this incident will haunt me
for many years to come.
670
00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:31,892
[audience laughs]
671
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:33,893
JJ?
672
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:36,730
Yeah, me too, I'm haunted.
673
00:22:37,230 --> 00:22:38,899
- [audience laughs]
- [chuckles] Okay.
674
00:22:38,982 --> 00:22:42,069
You guys, I would watch that little one
real carefully.
675
00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:43,362
[together] We know.
676
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:45,864
- Thank you. You are amazing.
- You are so welcome. [kisses]
677
00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:47,199
- Bye.
- Bye.
678
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,620
- Wow! That was crazy! I mean,
- [Cassy laughs]
679
00:22:51,703 --> 00:22:53,997
it's always crazy around here,
but that was next level.
680
00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:56,583
Ah! Well, speaking of next level...
681
00:22:56,666 --> 00:22:58,251
[sighs] I was a wreck this week.
682
00:22:58,335 --> 00:23:00,837
You had a tough break.
You just had to go through your process.
683
00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:02,214
Ugh, I don't know.
684
00:23:02,339 --> 00:23:04,549
I mean,
I really loved selling real estate.
685
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:06,176
Honey, it was the one thing
686
00:23:06,259 --> 00:23:08,303
since the kids were born
that really felt like mine.
687
00:23:08,678 --> 00:23:12,057
Just guess I don't have what it takes
to compete with the Bennetts of the world.
688
00:23:12,182 --> 00:23:13,182
Anyway, [laughs]
689
00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:14,726
who's gonna hire me now?
690
00:23:15,602 --> 00:23:16,978
- No one.
- Exactly.
691
00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:17,896
Wait, what?
692
00:23:17,979 --> 00:23:19,815
No, you're supposed to be cheering me up.
693
00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,778
We are going
in the wrong direction here, buddy.
694
00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:22,817
Cassy,
695
00:23:23,151 --> 00:23:24,403
you are the most fierce,
696
00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:27,322
most determined person
I've ever met in my life...
697
00:23:27,406 --> 00:23:28,448
Aw...
698
00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:30,452
...and I got you something
to remind you of that.
699
00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:32,744
Girls, come on, let's go to the car.
700
00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:33,662
Come on.
701
00:23:33,745 --> 00:23:35,664
Come on. Ándale. Ándale. Ándale.
702
00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:36,665
Let's go. Let's go.
703
00:23:36,748 --> 00:23:37,916
Good knees. Good knees.
704
00:23:37,999 --> 00:23:39,126
[upbeat music playing]
705
00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:42,587
- [music fades]
- [laughing] Oh, my God!
706
00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:43,505
What... [stammers]
707
00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:45,424
I don't get it.
How did this happen?
708
00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:46,383
I ordered this
709
00:23:46,466 --> 00:23:48,194
- the day after you got fired.
- [Cassy sighs]
710
00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:50,095
I mean, you asked me who's gonna hire you.
711
00:23:50,178 --> 00:23:51,888
Well, here's your answer, you.
712
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:53,098
What are you talking about?
713
00:23:53,181 --> 00:23:55,142
I'm talking about you opening
your own agency
714
00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:57,825
and taking over the Tampa real estate game
[animated] like a boss.
715
00:23:57,853 --> 00:23:58,687
[audience laughs]
716
00:23:58,770 --> 00:24:01,481
I can do that. I can totally do that!
717
00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:02,565
Thank you!
718
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:03,858
[Cassy laughs]
719
00:24:04,401 --> 00:24:06,486
Hey, Cassy, let's go take a selfie
with the bench.
720
00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:07,570
Okay.
721
00:24:08,738 --> 00:24:10,490
You had this planned the whole time?
722
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,826
She just moved from "Shadow Walker"...
723
00:24:13,326 --> 00:24:14,619
to "Phoenix Rising."
724
00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:16,223
- [audience laughs]
- Process complete.
725
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:17,289
Dang!
726
00:24:17,497 --> 00:24:20,292
- Game respect game, Papa Smurf!
- [audience laughs]
727
00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:21,877
It's 'cause your Dad
728
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:22,794
is the man.
729
00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:23,920
Say it with me.
730
00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:26,089
[together] Dad is the...
731
00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:27,173
The bench has to go.
732
00:24:27,757 --> 00:24:28,592
What? Why?
733
00:24:28,675 --> 00:24:30,969
Look, honey, [stammers]
I love you so much for this,
734
00:24:31,052 --> 00:24:32,572
but the picture you used is all wrong.
735
00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:33,889
I mean, nobody's gonna buy
736
00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:35,682
a house from Lady Crazy Eyes.
737
00:24:35,765 --> 00:24:37,577
- I think it looks great!
- [Cassy] It does not.
738
00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:38,601
I'll get on it tomorrow.
739
00:24:38,643 --> 00:24:41,021
No, no, no, you'll get on it now
before anyone sees it.
740
00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:43,523
Now, Show!
741
00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:44,733
Get the bench, big guy.
742
00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:46,576
[stammers] Just tear it up
out of the ground.
743
00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:47,736
Right out of the ground?
744
00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:48,819
Right out of the ground!
745
00:24:48,862 --> 00:24:49,862
All right.
746
00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:52,657
- [Big Show groans]
- [bench snaps]
747
00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:53,742
[audience laughs]
748
00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:54,910
Move!
749
00:24:54,993 --> 00:24:57,013
- [Cassy] Okay, let's get going.
- [audience laughs]
750
00:24:57,037 --> 00:24:58,955
[upbeat pop closing credits playing]
751
00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:30,987
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