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1
00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,085
Okay, there's
a strong possibility
2
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,187
I could end up naked with Josh
in the very near future.
3
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,789
I need you to look at my body
and be brutally honest.
4
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:58,726
Ooh, I like
the landing strip.
5
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:00,461
Nice choice.
6
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,296
It's like the little black dress
of pubic hair.
7
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,997
But what about the skin
above my knees?
8
00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:05,766
And I think I'm getting
a cleavage wrinkle.
9
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,468
- Right here.
10
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,902
It's from sleeping on my side
all these years.
11
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:10,171
You know that you're
an insane person?
12
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,140
A cleavage wrinkle?
13
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:13,674
With everything that women have
to be paranoid about,
14
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:14,842
we don't need to be
making up new stuff.
15
00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:16,144
You look amazing.
16
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:17,845
Don't look at me
with best friend eyes.
17
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,313
I need your artist eye.
18
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,848
Josh is an artist.
Oh, my God.
19
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:21,982
He's a tattoo artist.
20
00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,317
All he does
is look at skin all day.
21
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,718
Taut, young skin!
22
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:26,454
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
what is going on with you?
23
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:27,988
I don't know!
I just--I don't--
24
00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:29,757
I don't know if I can
have sex with someone
25
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,392
who's barely old enough
to rent a car.
26
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:32,826
Liza, if you don't want
to sleep with him--
27
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,262
Oh, no, no, I want
to have sex with him.
28
00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:37,064
It's just,
I don't know if--
29
00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:39,667
I can't say this out loud,
but...
30
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,435
I haven't had sex
in two years.
31
00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,070
Oh.
32
00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:45,673
Okay, well, uh, it's not like
you forgot how.
33
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:47,175
You just need to relax.
34
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:48,176
- Right.
- Yeah.
35
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:49,243
How do I do that?
36
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,311
Take one of my Xanax.
37
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:51,379
Isn't it illegal
to take
38
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:52,980
someone else's
prescription medicine?
39
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,184
You're so cute.
Maybe just take half.
40
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:07,395
*
41
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:09,363
You've got mail.
42
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,199
Oh, I love that movie.
43
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,100
I mean, I love watching
44
00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:15,203
old movies on my iPad.
45
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:16,204
Streaming them.
46
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,206
I'm a huge--I'm a big streamer.
47
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:19,373
I'm gonna go back to work now.
48
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:20,641
No, stay.
49
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,210
This is going to be
a real treat for you.
50
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,111
- God, no, it's for me.
51
00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:25,546
But you get to be
the first to see it.
52
00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:30,584
It's Judith Leiber,
made to order.
53
00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,823
Just cobra
and stingray
54
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,124
with antiqued
gold hardware.
55
00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:38,792
Hematite,
Austrian crystal,
56
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,728
and onyx stone inlay.
57
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,630
It's gorgeous, Diana.
58
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,232
I just wish men
appreciated bags
59
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:45,633
as much as women.
60
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,000
Men are visual.
61
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:48,502
They respond
to the whole picture,
62
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,037
even if they don't know why.
63
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,372
I'm telling you,
men are gonna love that purse
64
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:52,606
without even realizing
they saw it.
65
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:56,344
Let me ask you
a question.
66
00:02:58,979 --> 00:02:59,880
Do you think I should change
67
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,282
my profile photo?
68
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:03,317
Maybe do one
with the Leiber?
69
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:04,852
Uh, absolutely.
70
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:07,255
Would
you mind...
71
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,789
taking
a few photos?
72
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,891
Sure.
73
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,294
Oh, no, not with that.
74
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:15,263
Use this.
75
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:17,865
And run it though one of those
fancy Instagram filters.
76
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:22,736
Guess who has a reading
77
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:23,604
tomorrow night
78
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:24,938
at the Swedish consulate?
79
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,307
Bjornberg?
80
00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:27,675
I finished
the translation you gave me.
81
00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:28,976
You're right;
he's incredible.
82
00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:29,743
His agent wants him
83
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:30,811
to sign with Knopf.
84
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:31,812
But I'm gonna get him
85
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:32,880
to change his mind.
86
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:33,947
And how are you going
to do that?
87
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,048
I don't know.
88
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:36,750
But I'm not above yodeling.
89
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:37,885
That's Swiss.
90
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:39,353
Swedes are more
into free childcare,
91
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,354
herring,
and depression.
92
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,024
Check this out.
93
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,493
It's a tattoo Josh did.
94
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:46,660
Wow.
95
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,161
It says,
"You have to see it IRL."
96
00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,497
What's IRL?
97
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:50,831
In real life.
98
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:51,899
When you were in India,
99
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:52,900
were you living under
100
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,167
an actual rock?
101
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:56,003
No, but I did spend
one monsoon season
102
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:58,005
in a cave IRL.
103
00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:00,308
Bam.
Used it right there.
104
00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,080
Last time I was in New Jersey,
105
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,549
it was illegal
to pump your own gas.
106
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,318
- It still is.
107
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,585
So same-sex marriage
is legal,
108
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,321
but pumping your own gas
isn't?
109
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,323
- Yup.
- I like New Jersey.
110
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,559
Will you check that
for me?
111
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,394
Ooh, hotty hotpants alert.
112
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:21,629
It's from Josh.
113
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:26,500
Oh, nice.
114
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,668
What should I text back?
115
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,637
How about "the escrow
116
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,339
"on my suburban
New Jersey home is closed,
117
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:34,207
and I'm on my way to tag
everything for the movers."
118
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:35,609
Why not throw in the fact
that I'm 40
119
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:36,844
and a baby's head
came out of my Frida?
120
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,346
You call it your Frida?
121
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:39,347
Yeah, what do you
call it?
122
00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:40,648
The entertainment center.
123
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:42,616
I wish I had
your confidence.
124
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,352
Good, 'cause I'm sending
some of it to Josh.
125
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,387
I request
final text approval.
126
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:50,123
Ah, that's good.
127
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,596
No!
That is not approved.
128
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,498
Too late.
I hit "send."
129
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,803
I thought we were just here
to tag stuff.
130
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,037
Why is there
a moving van here?
131
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,739
The more important
question is,
132
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,376
why is my
soon
133
00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,480
David!
134
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,382
Liza, what are you--
I didn't know you'd be here.
135
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:15,616
Wow, you look great.
136
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,385
Did you do something different
with your--
137
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,753
She just dropped
180 pounds of dead weight.
138
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,054
Great to see you,
Maggie...
139
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,390
As always.
Still single?
140
00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:23,957
Still stripping
the blackjack dealer?
141
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,058
David, what's going on?
142
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,394
Uh, listen,
I got a great
143
00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:27,795
last-minute deal
on these movers,
144
00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:29,830
so I figured I'd have
everything put into storage.
145
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:32,032
And that way, you could
just go get your stuff
146
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,567
whenever it's convenient
for you.
147
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,403
I'm having a consignment guy
come tomorrow.
148
00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:37,471
I wanted him to see
the furniture in the house.
149
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:40,073
Fine.
150
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,009
I'm an ass.
151
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:43,777
- Take it all.
152
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,746
Yeah, I screwed this up.
Take everything.
153
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,047
- No.
- Take it, Liza.
154
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:49,450
Yeah, and maybe someday
you'll look back on this
155
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:52,686
and say, "Hey, you know,
David wasn't so bad.
156
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:55,055
Sure, he made a mistake,
but he was a good person."
157
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:58,726
See you around.
158
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,897
Maybe I'm too hard on him.
159
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:06,934
Who's paying for this?
160
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:18,045
*
161
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,613
Wow.
162
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,881
You look--wow.
163
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:24,885
I'm going straight to
Bjornberg's reading after work.
164
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,887
- Come with me.
- I can't.
165
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,221
I'm seeing Josh tonight.
166
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,357
Oh, my God, I checked out
his Instagram.
167
00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:32,993
He is, like,
disturbingly hot.
168
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,228
Are you two still busy
braiding friendship bracelets,
169
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:36,697
or are you ready
to come back to work?
170
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:37,731
Uh...
171
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:38,932
We were actually
just discussing what--
172
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,469
Shh.
Did you hear that?
173
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:44,705
Hear what?
174
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,942
Excuse me.
175
00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:56,684
Is everything okay?
176
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:57,718
I got a hit.
Look.
177
00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:02,289
Ooh, he's handsome.
178
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:06,093
And he's a tenured professor
at Columbia Medical School.
179
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:08,261
He likes rock climbing;
his Australian shepherd, Ben;
180
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,497
and Sundays at The Frick.
181
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:10,998
- You love The Frick.
- I love The Frick.
182
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,399
He writes, "I see
from your profile
183
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:13,634
"that you are a member
184
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,235
"of the East Side
Chamber Music Society.
185
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,304
"I am a member of the West Side
Chamber Music Society.
186
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:19,006
Could we ever bridge
this bitter rivalry?"
187
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,040
Adorable.
188
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,208
Stop cheerleading
and help me.
189
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:22,375
What should I write back?
190
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:27,314
How about,
"Some rivalries are fated.
191
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:29,650
"Two households,
both alike in dignity,
192
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:30,818
in fair Verona."
193
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,119
Shakespeare?
194
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:33,721
Won't that make me sound
a tad musty?
195
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:35,422
Well, he's into museums
and chamber music.
196
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:37,024
I think Shakespeare's
a safe bet.
197
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,626
Okay, press "send."
198
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,096
You always hope there's
someone like this out there.
199
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:44,532
I know what you mean.
200
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,333
No, you don't.
You're 26 years old.
201
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:47,901
You have no idea
what it's like out there
202
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,269
for a woman my age.
203
00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:50,337
It's a tundra.
204
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:53,206
Oh!
205
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,142
"Quoting the bard.
How intriguing.
206
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,410
Normally, this website
is so fatiguing."
207
00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:58,912
He's rhyming.
Rhyme back.
208
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:00,313
Oh, okay.
Uh...
209
00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:03,450
"The bard isn't hard
to quote by memory.
210
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:06,987
How did you enjoy
your college years at Emory?"
211
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,589
Finally,
something you're good at.
212
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:09,890
I'll take that as a "thank you."
213
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,291
Oh.
214
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,060
"Those times were fun.
There's much to tell.
215
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,762
Let's continue
this chat IRL."
216
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:16,029
Where's IRL?
217
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,364
Is that Long Island City?
Queens?
218
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,799
It stands for
"in real life."
219
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:19,967
Ah.
Yes, yes, yes!
220
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,301
Type "yes."
Yes. Yes!
221
00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:25,338
He's won countless awards,
222
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:30,110
including this year's Swedish
Literary Society's Grand Prize.
223
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:33,313
He's quite simply
a national treasure.
224
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:38,118
Please welcome the incomparable
Anton Bjornberg.
225
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:41,922
Thank you.
226
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,801
The whole thing's in Swedish?
227
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,302
Shh!
228
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,449
*
229
00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:11,418
Well, to first times.
230
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,053
Okay.
231
00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:16,389
Sorry, I'm just
a little nervous.
232
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:17,725
I love that about you.
233
00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:19,226
What, my nervousness?
234
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,394
No, no, your--
your honesty.
235
00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,764
And also the way
your right eyebrow's
236
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:27,134
always just a little bit higher
than your left one.
237
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,036
Makes you always seem
a little amused.
238
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,303
Well, you're amusing.
239
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:33,974
Well, what exactly
makes me so amusing?
240
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,909
You know, you're this...
241
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:39,479
cool, sexy
tattoo artist guy.
242
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:43,550
And you're this cool, sexy
book publishing girl.
243
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:44,918
You pay attention.
244
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,453
I do pay attention.
245
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:51,124
And for certain people,
I lavish my attention.
246
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:52,826
Lavish?
247
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,728
Yeah, lavish.
248
00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,897
Josh.
249
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:58,666
Hey.
How are you?
250
00:09:58,699 --> 00:09:59,800
I'm good.
251
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,468
Look how great
the new tattoo healed.
252
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,236
Oh, sick.
253
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,972
Yeah, that line
turned out great.
254
00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:07,808
Liza,
this is Dacia.
255
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:09,142
Hi.
It's nice to meet you.
256
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:10,744
It's a great...line.
257
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:11,779
Thanks.
258
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:12,780
Dacia,
is this Josh?
259
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:13,814
Oh, yeah.
260
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,382
You have to do me too.
261
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,284
I was thinking
of a Smith & Wesson revolver,
262
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,152
like, right here.
263
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:20,721
Yeah, yeah,
that's hot.
264
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:21,922
I know, right?
265
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:23,556
We should go to your studio
266
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,492
and do it right now.
267
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:26,860
Yes.
268
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,830
Uh, I--I should probably
get going anyways.
269
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,598
What?
Why?
270
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:33,600
Well, you've got work to do.
271
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,502
Hey, hey.
272
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:38,638
I want to be here with you,
all right?
273
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,107
And when we get home,
274
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:43,110
the only thing
that I want to work on
275
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,545
is your hot little...
276
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:17,845
Excuse me.
277
00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:19,412
Some people
from the Finnish consulate
278
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,914
are getting pretty rowdy
at the bar.
279
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,282
The Finns are here?
280
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:23,283
Mm.
281
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:24,785
Pardon me.
282
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,987
Are there really Finns
at the bar?
283
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:30,190
No.
I just got creative.
284
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:31,925
Well, that certainly worked.
285
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,160
Kelsey Peters.
286
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:34,494
I'm an editor
at Empirical.
287
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:36,029
Hey, Anton.
288
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:38,631
Sorry,
I don't speak Swedish.
289
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:41,434
- No.
290
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,603
Then why are you
at a Swedish reading?
291
00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:46,573
Well, I read a translation
of your book, In Galleries.
292
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,108
I'm a huge fan.
293
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,509
I think you're a genius.
294
00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:51,344
I want to sign you.
295
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,346
Oh.
That's quite forward.
296
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:56,483
I just need five minutes
of your time.
297
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:59,186
You know what,
Kelsey Peters?
298
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:01,554
Let's get out of here.
299
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,123
Let's go and have a drink
300
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,026
somewhere with fewer
rowdy Finns.
301
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:07,627
Great.
302
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,863
* You got me all worked up
303
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:12,065
* I'm digging all your stuff
304
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:14,201
* You got that thing I want
305
00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:16,369
* Give it to me now
306
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,806
* You got me on my knees
307
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:22,309
What's so funny?
308
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,111
Nothing.
It's just--
309
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,514
Wait. I'm sorry.
I'm just a little ticklish.
310
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,850
You just need to relax
a little bit.
311
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:31,318
Yes, you're right.
312
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,921
I do. I do.
I need to relax.
313
00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,555
Can I use your bathroom?
314
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:36,824
Unrelated to relaxing.
315
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,826
I plan to relax elsewhere
other than the bathroom.
316
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:39,827
First door on your right.
317
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:40,828
Thank you.
318
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:42,162
* You got me all worked up
319
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,297
* I'm digging all your stuff
320
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:46,333
* You got that thing I want
321
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,835
* Give it to me now
322
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:49,336
Okay.
323
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:53,040
Just relax.
324
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:13,426
*
325
00:13:24,737 --> 00:13:26,739
Oh, my lord.
326
00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:30,743
Is that a Zahara stingray
and cobra Judith Leiber bag?
327
00:13:30,878 --> 00:13:32,079
Yes, it is.
328
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,414
I thought so.
Look at the onyx stone inlay.
329
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:35,548
It's extraordinary.
330
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,051
You know a lot
about purses.
331
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,686
Oh, I'm a huge Leiber fan.
332
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:40,888
I have a YouTube channel.
333
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,355
So far,
I've reviewed 38 bags,
334
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:45,058
but I've never seen
a Zahara stingray and cobra.
335
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,726
If I were you, I'd keep it
in a museum case.
336
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:49,162
No, no, fashion
is for enjoyment.
337
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:50,730
I plan on taking it
everywhere with me,
338
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:53,666
to galleries
and restaurants and...
339
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:54,667
The Frick.
340
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,337
How do you know I go to--
341
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,440
Oh, shit.
342
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,943
You're the Columbia
professor?
343
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,811
I'm sorry, okay?
344
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:06,947
I just really wanted
to see the bag.
345
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,082
Someone like you
would never agree to meet me.
346
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,683
What do you mean,
someone like me?
347
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,652
Well, you're this
high-powered executive,
348
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,321
and you've got
such fierce style,
349
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:15,822
and you're so cultured,
350
00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,224
and you have
this amazing life.
351
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,691
That's what you think of me?
352
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:22,195
It's not what I think;
it's just the straight-up truth.
353
00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:25,798
Well, it's not so great.
Believe me.
354
00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:27,700
Well, I bet you don't get
beat up at school.
355
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,003
And people don't call you
"Little Miss Bag Fag."
356
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:34,674
Sit down.
What are you drinking?
357
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,944
Grey Goose martini,
two olives.
358
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:39,980
Club soda
with a splash of grenadine.
359
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,314
Excellent choice.
360
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,383
Now, if you are
very, very gentle...
361
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:46,987
You may hold it.
362
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,790
Would you like me to take
a picture of you with it?
363
00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:52,359
God, yes.
364
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,963
Smile pretty.
365
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,131
Well, that's the one.
366
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:02,970
I know I don't have
as much experience
367
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:04,504
as an older editor
368
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:06,339
and I don't have a roster
full of heavyweights,
369
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:07,874
but that's also
my strength.
370
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:10,610
I have the time.
I have the energy.
371
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:13,246
I am wild about your book.
372
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,482
So what do you think
the book is about?
373
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,484
I've thought about that
a lot.
374
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:18,785
Mm-hmm.
375
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,988
I think the book
is about indignity.
376
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:24,091
We start life
getting our ass wiped.
377
00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:26,126
We end life
getting our ass wiped.
378
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:27,995
And in between,
we're just chasing money.
379
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:30,230
And here I thought
I was writing a book
380
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:31,564
about my miserable childhood.
381
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,001
But I like the way
you see it.
382
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,235
Really.
383
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:38,838
So will you come in
Monday morning for a meeting
384
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:40,907
and meet
the rest of the team?
385
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:43,410
Oh, that's very American.
386
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,012
Already closing the deal.
387
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,748
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be pushy.
388
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:50,450
I'm just--I'm excited.
389
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,819
I'm excited too.
390
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:54,587
Good.
391
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,861
It's my boyfriend.
392
00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:04,397
It's my wife.
393
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:07,667
Hey.
394
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:12,439
* Tempted by the fruit
of another *
395
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:14,941
* Tempted, but the truth
is discovered *
396
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,044
I love this song.
397
00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:19,112
What year was this?
398
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,613
1981, I think?
399
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:24,284
Oh, wow, 1981.
400
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,219
When I wasn't even born.
401
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,854
What?
402
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:28,855
What?
403
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:31,058
Wait.
404
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,460
I love that you listen
to old record albums.
405
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,395
Yeah.
406
00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:38,965
I love vinyl.
It's the best.
407
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:41,801
Do you love it love it,
or do you love it ironically?
408
00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:45,305
For real.
I love it.
409
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:47,607
I love all types
of old stuff.
410
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:57,084
I'm gonna try again.
411
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,252
You are a little bit drunk.
412
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,353
No.
413
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:01,821
It's okay.
414
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:03,156
I'm gonna go
make you some coffee.
415
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,457
I'm not drunk.
416
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,259
No, I'm not drunk.
I'm not.
417
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,860
I'm just chillaxin'.
418
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,896
* What's been going on
419
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,631
* Now that you have gone
420
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:17,970
* Tempted by the fruit
of another *
421
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:21,974
* Tempted, but the truth
is discovered *
422
00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:23,143
*
423
00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:27,947
* Tempted by the fruit
of another *
424
00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:29,882
* Tempted, but the truth
is discovered *
425
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,224
It was so embarrassing.
426
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,126
I completely passed out.
427
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:41,928
Then I snuck out this morning
before he woke up.
428
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,863
You realize
you roofied yourself.
429
00:17:43,963 --> 00:17:46,133
Maggie, I don't think I can
actually get back on the horse
430
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,300
with such a young guy.
431
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,469
Of course you can.
432
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,138
Listen to me.
433
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,705
Your vagina just needs
a pep talk.
434
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,006
Excuse me?
435
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:55,908
Frida, now, I know
you've only been
436
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,310
with one penis
in the past 20 years.
437
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,678
22 years.
438
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,280
I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to Frida.
439
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,681
- That was Frida.
440
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,250
Come on. She needs,
like, an accent or something.
441
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,418
- If she's a Persian dude.
442
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:06,786
Anyway, the point is,
443
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:09,856
there is this
unbelievably exciting
444
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:12,759
sexual world out there
that you've been missing out on.
445
00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:14,361
It's time to come out,
girl, okay?
446
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,495
Uh...
447
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,530
Uh, I can come back.
448
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:18,865
- Oh, no.
- No, no, no, it's okay.
449
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,667
- Come on in, Trent.
- Okay.
450
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,170
So I took a look
in the truck.
451
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,338
I can give you $2,500
for all of it.
452
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,673
$2,500?
453
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:27,907
Uh, maybe
you didn't see it all.
454
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:29,376
Here.
No, show him.
455
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,544
I have photos here
from when the house was staged.
456
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:32,945
Everything
is in great condition.
457
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,247
We only had one girl,
458
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:36,015
so we were actually able
to have nice things,
459
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:37,450
unlike the boy families.
460
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,551
See this chair?
It's a Stickley.
461
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,420
And the dinette,
this was my mom's,
462
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,521
and it's genuine cherry.
463
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,223
Look, lady, I get it.
464
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,524
I saw it.
465
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:45,758
It's worth a couple grand.
466
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,294
I know the market here.
467
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,629
But it took me forever
to collect these things.
468
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,198
I mean, I know
some of it's sentimental,
469
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,732
but it's got to be worth
more than that,
470
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:53,933
even as firewood.
471
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:56,203
Okay, 3 grand.
Final offer.
472
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,804
You're not gonna do better.
473
00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,372
Wow.
474
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,274
You know what?
Let's go.
475
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:03,042
- Brooklyn.
476
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,644
- Yeah, Brooklyn.
477
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,446
Everybody's moving to Brooklyn.
478
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,884
*
479
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,052
It's so normcore.
480
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,255
So normcore,
totally suburban.
481
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:16,423
It's perfect.
482
00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:18,291
Enjoy it!
483
00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:19,426
We're cleaning up.
484
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:20,860
See, this stuff's
not worthless.
485
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:21,928
Brooklyn loves you.
486
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:25,732
Oh, my God,
look at this.
487
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,602
Ooh, this guy's
really into you.
488
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:31,070
I know.
489
00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:32,872
That's why I got
to tell him the truth.
490
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:34,040
It's only a number.
491
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:35,074
But it's a big one.
492
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:36,876
You'll be fine.
Go.
493
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:38,278
Frida deserves this.
494
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:44,016
See ya.
495
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:46,386
* I don't mind
if you're running around *
496
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:48,555
Josh, I know that you think
that we're the same age,
497
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:51,391
but, actually,
I'm four...teen.
498
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:54,060
That's right; I'm a minor,
and you're under arrest.
499
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,963
* I'm laying in bed
with a whole lot of wonder *
500
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,031
Did you know
Cameron Diaz is 40?
501
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,500
She's not gross, right?
502
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,801
* Midnight strikes
503
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:04,337
* I don't know
where you've been *
504
00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:06,973
* But I still want
to make love tonight *
505
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,875
* When you come stumbling in
506
00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:11,911
* Baby, come home to me
507
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:15,748
* Baby,
come home to me *
508
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,917
- Hi.
- Hi.
509
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:20,119
I am so sorry
I passed out last night.
510
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,323
I was just really nervous,
'cause--
511
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,792
There's something
that I need to tell you.
512
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,694
* Baby, come home to me
513
00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:30,363
* Baby,
come home to me *
514
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:33,466
* It's a half past
quarter to three *
515
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,335
Never mind.
516
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:38,170
* Baby, come home
34636
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