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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,960
# Is it so?
2
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,040
# I don't want to let you go
3
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:10,200
# No, never can say goodbye, boy
4
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:14,240
# Oooh, no, no
5
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,880
# I never can say goodbye
6
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:17,640
# No, no, no
7
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,680
# No, no, no #
8
00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,640
(PHONE RINGS)
9
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,120
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
10
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,160
Hello?
11
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,520
Hello?
12
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,000
Freddie?
13
00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,040
Stuart?
14
00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:43,480
Hello?
15
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,760
I'm not sure where Stuart is.
16
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,520
This is Ash, his neighbour.
17
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,560
Oh, is this Stuart's mum?
18
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,360
Nice to meet you.
19
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,400
No, I'm not a girl.
20
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,000
Ash is also a boy's name.
21
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,800
Yeah, it is.
22
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,360
I suppose I'll be seeing you
at the party tonight, Mrs Bixby.
23
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,600
At the big party
for Freddie and Stuart.
24
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,120
Yes, the actor.
25
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,560
Didn't you know about it?
26
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,160
Great, I'll see you tonight.
27
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,840
Yes, I'm positive I'm a boy.
28
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,080
Ash, what have you done?
29
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,760
Violet, you're back.
Yes, and just in time I see.
30
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,920
Was that Stuart's mother
you were talking to?
31
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:31,080
Yeah, why? And you told her about
the anniversary party?
32
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,800
The party for her son
and his partner?
33
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,400
The party that's tonight?
34
00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,240
Yeah. The son she doesn't know the
truth about yet.
35
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,720
She doesn't know he's gay?
36
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:44,600
Oh, you're joking.
37
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,960
I'm afraid not.
Now think very carefully.
38
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,600
Exactly what did you say?
39
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,840
I don't remember.
Think very hard, Ash.
40
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,760
You're scaring me!
41
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,840
Don't worry. We're in this together.
42
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,800
Oh, God, what are they going
to do when they find out?
43
00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,840
Find out what?
Aghh!
44
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,200
What the hell is wrong
with you two?
45
00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,920
Hello, darling, I'm back.
46
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,200
Oh!
47
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,480
I had nothing to do with it.
It was all him.
48
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,920
Ash, you remember our friend Violet.
49
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,600
Hi.
50
00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,280
I should be leaving.
51
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,760
Not until somebody tells me
what's going on.
52
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,480
Why are you both here?
53
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,080
Is Stuart dead?
54
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,720
Oh!
55
00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:29,760
Oh, shit.
56
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,560
Happy anniversary to you, too
57
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:36,320
Oh, is that today? I knew there was
a reason I woke up vomiting.
58
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,600
Well, happy anniversary.
I should get home and unpack.
59
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:46,080
I am so sorry that it didn't work
out with your boyfriend
in Buenos Aires, Vi.
60
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,040
Well, it was all terribly romantic
at the start.
61
00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:52,320
And the fact that he stole
from me proved he really did care.
62
00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:58,360
Now do tell me,
what were you both going on about?
63
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,400
It was nothing.
64
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,480
We were just talking
about the party tonight
65
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,120
and how much fun it's going to be
66
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,120
and how I maybe invited your mother.
67
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,160
You did what?
68
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,120
You tell me exactly what happened!
69
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,120
Well, I walked in and the phone
was ringing
70
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,520
and there was no-one was here,
so I answered it.
71
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,560
And she was really sweet.
72
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,400
Oh, I don't think
that's Stuart's mother, Ash.
73
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,120
And she said that I sounded like
a girl.
74
00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:27,240
Oh, no, it was her.
75
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,800
Can I have a glass of water?
It's really hot in here.
Is anybody else hot?
76
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,800
Oh, you're doing fine, darling.
77
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,600
I already told you I had nothing
to do with what this
lunatic did, right?
78
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,320
Continue, Ash.
79
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,880
I asked her if I was going
to see her at the party tonight.
80
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:44,000
And she said, 'What party? and
I said, 'Freddie and Stuart's party.'
81
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,720
She said, 'The actor?'
I said, 'Yeah.'
82
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,120
I don't remember if I said it
was an anniversary party
83
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,760
but I guess I invited her
and she said she's coming. Bye!
84
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,840
I cannot believe it!
85
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,880
He answered our phone?
86
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:05,200
Hello, Judi,
it's Freddie Thornhill again.
87
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:09,160
Just checking to see that you got
my messages concerning the party
this evening.
88
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,200
It would be lovely to see you.
89
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,560
Oh, please don't tell me you were
calling Judi Dench again.
90
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,560
She's a very dear old friend.
Why shouldn't I be ringing her?
91
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,880
Because you haven't seen each other
in over 40 years.
92
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,760
What nonsense.
We saw her just the other day.
93
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,080
Yes,
in the latest James Bond film.
94
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,760
You do realise
she can't see us back.
95
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,240
Well, any way we used
to be very close.
96
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:44,200
Need I remind you we once appeared
on television as young sweethearts?
97
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:48,640
Oh, in that Smarties commercial
you did 50 years ago?
98
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,320
That very well-regarded
Smarties commercial.
99
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,160
>Some even called it Hitchcockian.
100
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,160
And why are you always lurking
in doorways?
101
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,040
Isn't there a counter
that needs wiping down?
102
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,880
Oh, no, I don't need any
help at all preparing for the party.
103
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,440
Thank you so much
for offering, you big bitch!
104
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,680
I'm coming, aren't I?
105
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,360
That should be enough.
106
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,040
I was hoping you'd show
a little more enthusiasm.
107
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:23,040
After all, it's been 49 years.
108
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,640
49 years of what?
109
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,840
I have absolutely no idea
at this point.
110
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,880
I have made a decision
about something, Freddie.
111
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,440
Well, are you going to tell me
112
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,240
or are we waiting for a messenger
to deliver a scroll?
113
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,680
It's something you've wanted me
to do for a long time.
114
00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,000
You're finally ready
to have an open relationship?
115
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,040
No!
116
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,960
I'm going to tell my mother
about us...
117
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,560
..tonight.
118
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,280
It's time, don't you think?
119
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,760
I do.
120
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,520
This is delightful.
Mmmm, yes.
121
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,400
Tell me whose flat is this?
122
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,000
Freddie and Stuart's.
123
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,920
Right. It looks like they're
getting ready to have a party.
124
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,320
Maybe we should leave.
125
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,040
We're at the party, dear.
126
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,800
Of course.
127
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,600
What fun!
128
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,120
Sorry to keep you waiting.
129
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,320
We're putting all the anniversary
gifts over there.
130
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,640
Where did you leave yours?
131
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,800
At the store.
132
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,840
Hello, Penelope.
133
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,880
Happy birthday, Steven!
134
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,960
Everything you just said was wrong.
135
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,640
What a glorious evening for erm...
136
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,840
Oh. Is it just the two of them?
137
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,600
So far.
138
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,280
I'll come down again
when there are more people.
139
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,400
(DOORBELL)
Can I pour myself a drink?
140
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,560
When we get our gift
you get your drink.
141
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,440
Oh!
Happy anniversary, darling!
142
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,280
Thank you, Violet.
143
00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,320
Let me take that from you.
144
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,760
It's so light.
145
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,360
It's just a box.
146
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,960
I wanted to make a festive entrance.
147
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,520
What is wrong with you people?
148
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,360
How many now?
Oh, for God's sake!
149
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,760
Just come down!
Fine.
150
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,920
Hello, Violet.
151
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,200
I was hoping to make an entrance
for Judi.
152
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,400
Who's Judi?
Judi Dench!
153
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,440
Who else is Judi?
154
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,920
The check-out girl
at my Tesco is Judi.
155
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:05,440
Well, it's not her! We did not
invite the bloody check-out girl
from Tesco to our anniversary party.
156
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,560
We invited Dame Judi...
157
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,600
..Dench!
158
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:13,120
Is Judi Dench coming tonight?
159
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,240
We're hoping.
Freddie has invited her.
160
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,280
(No.)
161
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,440
We worked together long ago.
162
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,720
The 12 hours
we spent eating chocolates
163
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,880
was one of the highlights
of my career.
164
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,040
Yes, of course,
the Smarties commercial!
165
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,240
That she remembers!
166
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,520
I see your mother's not here yet,
Stuart.
167
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,600
No, not yet.
168
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:40,640
You'll know she's arrived
when you hear the gates of
hell creaking open.
169
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,280
Have you decided
what you're going to do?
170
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:47,280
Oh, yes. I'm going to tell her
the truth about myself and Freddie.
171
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,120
Finally.
172
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,160
I'm very proud of you.
173
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,320
Tonight? Are you sure?
174
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,400
Perhaps Ash never mentioned
it was an anniversary party.
175
00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,880
We can just say we're celebrating
some other event.
176
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,120
It was actually
my birthday yesterday.
177
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,360
So what?
178
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,160
We wouldn't be having a party
for that.
179
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,720
No, I've decided,
I'm going to tell her.
180
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,760
Damn the consequences.
181
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,000
(DOORBELL)
Oh! That could be her.
182
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:22,160
Look out of the window first.
Check if you see any flying monkeys.
183
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,080
Oh. It's just Ash.
184
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:28,920
Oh, Ash, you are looking
very handsome this evening.
185
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,920
Very...tapered
186
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,960
and slim. Very stylish.
187
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,000
Very well-groomed.
188
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,440
I'm still straight.
189
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,560
Will you let us know
if that ever changes?
190
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,680
I've brought you a gift.
Oh, thank you, Ash.
191
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,920
How thoughtful.
And it's not even empty.
192
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,440
Stuart, I'm really sorry about
mentioning the party to your mum.
193
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,440
No, I'm actually glad you did, Ash.
194
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,800
I've been putting it off
for far too long.
195
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:04,040
If you waited any longer
we'd have to dig her up to tell her
196
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:08,960
Ash, you know Penelope and Mason.
197
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,920
And you remember our friend Violet.
198
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,280
You're joking, right?
199
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,320
Excuse me?
200
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,040
Nothing, it's just...
201
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,760
Just what?
202
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,800
Well, it's kind of...
203
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,920
Kind of, you know...
204
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,600
What's he talking about?
205
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,440
Is he having a seizure?
You have to hold his tongue.
206
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:41,000
It's kind of crazy, don't you think,
that you always say to me,
'You remember our friend Violet?'
207
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,080
I mean, I've only met her
a thousand times.
208
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:47,720
We've all had dinners together.
We've gone to pubs together.
209
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,800
We even went to bloody Stonehenge!
210
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,560
Of course I remember Violet!
211
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:56,000
She practically gives me a hand job
every time she says hello!
212
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,760
Well, about time.
Welcome to the family.
213
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,880
I didn't even realise
I was saying it.
214
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,960
Did you?
Not at all.
215
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,000
And I only touched his penis twice.
216
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,200
By accident.
217
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,480
Wow, it feels really good
to say what you think.
218
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,040
I'm going to try it more often.
219
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,680
Please don't try it on me, dear.
220
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,560
Because it's already
horrible enough coming here.
221
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,760
How heartwarming.
222
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:42,400
You're both going to turn that sweet
boy into a gargoyle like you.
223
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,600
Yes. I think we just might.
224
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,440
(DOORBELL)
225
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:49,400
Oh, my God, it's her.
226
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,440
Or Judi. It could also be Judi.
227
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,000
Judi Dench.
228
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,160
Not Judi from Tesco.
229
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,240
Hello, Mother.
230
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,280
Hello, Stuart.
231
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,920
Please, come in.
232
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,960
Hello, Mildred. You're looking...
233
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,200
..alive.
234
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,480
Kind of.
235
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,120
Who's he?
236
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,080
That's Freddie, my flatmate.
237
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,080
You know, the actor.
238
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,080
And this is Ash
239
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,600
and Penelope and Mason.
240
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,400
And Violet of course.
241
00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,440
Oh, yes. The slut.
242
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,960
Lovely seeing you, too, Mildred.
243
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,680
Now tell me,
is this your birthday party?
244
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,720
Yes, it is.
No, it's not!
245
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,040
Don't you know when my birthday is?
246
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,560
April?
247
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:48,800
Freddie,
tell her when my birthday is!
248
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,560
July?
249
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,640
It was mine yesterday.
250
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,000
Happy birthday to me.
251
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,480
My birthday is in October!
252
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,680
And this party, Mother,
253
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:09,040
is celebrate our 49th anniversary!
254
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,840
Yes. That's right,
255
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,760
Freddie and I...
256
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,800
..are partners.
257
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,120
Well?
258
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,880
I told you not to say anything.
259
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,000
Are you sure she's all right,
Freddie?
260
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,760
Yes, unfortunately.
261
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,800
Just a fainting spell.
262
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,360
You think she could have
at least broken a hip.
263
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,040
I can't help but feel it might have
put a damper on the party
264
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,080
if Stuart's mother had died.
265
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,600
I don't know. I think it would have
perked things up a bit.
266
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,600
Erm, did anybody lose a set of teeth?
267
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:03,800
They must be Mildred's.
268
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,840
Oh, yes. You can tell
from the fangs.
269
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,440
How is she, darling?
She's resting peacefully.
270
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,040
With God?
271
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,760
I don't think
she even remembers what happened.
272
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,080
Oh, did anybody find teeth?
273
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,560
I did. They have bits of stuff
from the floor all over them.
274
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,600
They need to be rinsed off.
No, they're fine.
275
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:25,280
I'll just shove them back
in while she's asleep.
276
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:29,080
So she didn't mention anything
at all about your news?
277
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,000
Not a thing.
278
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,680
Oh, she did apologise for
breaking wind after she collapsed.
279
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,720
I told you that was her!
280
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,920
I stand corrected.
281
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,520
This time.
282
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,120
Well, hats off,
it was another glorious evening.
283
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:52,440
This party's isn't over yet. There
are still more guests to arrive.
284
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,280
Freddie, I don't think
udi Dench is going to come.
285
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,600
Of course she's going to come.
286
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,160
It's early still.
287
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,240
We're supposed to be having fun,
so let's have fun for Christ sake!
288
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:04,960
Now you, sit down!
289
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,840
Do as he says. Everybody,
please, just do as he says!
290
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,720
Well, I think I'm
going to have another drink.
291
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,760
Anybody else like one?
292
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:18,480
I think if we're going to get
through this night, we'll each need
our own bottle.
293
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:22,960
All right, settle down.
294
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:28,720
This isn't quite as I imagined
our 49th anniversary.
295
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,560
Really? Because this is exactly how
I imagined it.
296
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,280
Uncomfortable and tense
with very little food.
297
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:40,120
Oh, isn't it as grand as
your anniversary parties?
298
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,040
Oh, wait, that's right!
You've never been married.
299
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,240
Well if you'll excuse me,
300
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,480
I think I'm going to say
hello to the dog.
301
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,400
He's somewhat better company.
302
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,880
What's wrong with her?
303
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,520
I have no idea. Suddenly
people can't take jokes any more
304
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,400
You all know we're joking
with you, right?
305
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,720
Right!
306
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,760
Yeah.
Yes, of course.
307
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,920
Are you all right, Violet?
308
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,960
Yes, yes, I'm fine.
309
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,040
>I'm just being silly, that's all.
310
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,120
Do you want to talk about it?
311
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,160
With you?
Yeah. With me.
312
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:28,600
Oh, Ash, I don't want you to think
I'm feeling sorry for myself.
313
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,640
It's just... When is it my turn?
314
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,000
When am I going to meet somebody?
315
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,200
I don't want to be alone any more.
316
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,040
I guess I had a dream
my life would be so different
317
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,080
from this hell I'm living.
318
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,800
Now life has killed the dream
I dreamed.
319
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,520
Isn't that from Les Mis?
320
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,600
Yes, but it holds true
in this situation too.
321
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,920
I think you're a wonderful woman,
Violet.
322
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,560
You do?
323
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,920
I do. And any man
would be lucky to have you.
324
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,880
He's out there. I promise.
325
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,400
(CHEERING AND LAUGHTER)
326
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,400
Oh, sorry.
327
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,720
Thank you.
328
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,760
I feel much better.
329
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,360
OK, well,
330
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,880
I'm going to go
into the other room now.
331
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,040
What was that?
332
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,720
Just two friends sharing a moment.
333
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,960
>Oh. Because it looked like you
were trying to eat his face.
334
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,800
I didn't mean to hurt
your feelings just now.
335
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,560
I sometimes...
336
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,800
I know, darling. It's all right.
337
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,280
You know, I actually feel
kind of fabulous.
338
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,440
Stuart, get in here. It's back!
339
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,080
God help us.
340
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,800
Mother, how are you feeling?
341
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,440
Like there's something
very strange stuck to my teeth.
342
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,640
A button.
343
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,160
You're old. You're eating buttons.
344
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,640
It happens
345
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,960
Is there anything you'd
like to talk about
346
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,000
from earlier this evening, Mother?
347
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,440
You mean when I farted?
348
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,000
No, before that, dear.
349
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,520
When I told you my news.
350
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,200
No, I don't remember.
351
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,440
Well, then perhaps
I should refresh your memory.
352
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,880
It's something
that is very important to me and...
353
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,920
I said I don't remember
354
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:58,240
and I certainly don't want to
talk about it, so do be quiet!
355
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,280
Of course, Mother.
356
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,520
Well, we are going to talk about it.
357
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,960
And you are going to listen!
358
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,440
Oh, good Lord.
359
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,000
Why don't they just bash her
over the head and be done with it?
360
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,800
The man you are talking
so disrespectfully to
361
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:19,640
is not only your son
but my partner of 49 years!
362
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,680
Oh, they're a couple!
363
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,360
And I will have you know he is
the most wonderful man in the world
364
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,400
and I am proud to call him my lover!
365
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,400
It's getting very graphic.
366
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,120
Yes, we have had a few minor
differences over the years
367
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,440
but I can't imagine
my life without him.
368
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:48,120
So when you talk to him,
you talk to him with respect.
369
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,280
Oh, Freddie, I don't know
what to say.
370
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,320
Shut up!
371
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,200
I'm not finished yet.
372
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,480
He cares very deeply about you
373
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,200
but unless you can accept him
and our relationship
374
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,240
you are not welcome here.
375
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,040
Now I'm finished.
376
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,720
Thank you.
377
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,520
OK.
378
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,560
OK?
Yes. Congratulations.
379
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,240
Call me tomorrow.
And the food was awful.
380
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,920
I can't believe it.
381
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:33,680
After all these years
my mother finally accepts me.
382
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,720
Oh, Stuart.
383
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,000
She really is a vile woman.
384
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,040
Dreadful.
385
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,360
That was amazing
what you did, Freddie.
386
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,680
Not at all, Ash. I just stood
up for the person I love.
387
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,200
You'll do that one day, too.
388
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,080
I hope I have your strength.
389
00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:52,120
I'm sure you will.
390
00:20:55,720 --> 00:21:01,560
Did Freddie Thornhill
just use the word 'love'?
391
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,600
You're so desperate.
392
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,440
Clinging to any kind word
tossed your way.
393
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,440
It's very unattractive, Stuart.
394
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,480
So why don't you get us some drinks
395
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,920
and stop standing there
with your mouth gaping open
396
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,960
like a cheap Italian fountain?
397
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:22,400
It must be so nice to have
been in love with somebody
398
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,040
for 49 years.
399
00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,600
Do let me know what that feels like.
400
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,000
Ah, this is the way it should be.
401
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,280
Now it feels like home.
402
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,920
So do you both sleep
in the same bed?
403
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:42,600
Yes, Penelope.
404
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,640
Two men.
405
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,640
How extraordinary.
406
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,080
You know what?
It's a gorgeous evening.
407
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,680
I suddenly feel like
opening the curtains.
408
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,760
We are just so happy
409
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,120
that you are all here
to share our anniversary.
410
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,160
You do know that we love
you all very much, right?
411
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,560
>Right!
412
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,840
413
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,680
ANSWERMACHINE: Hello, Freddie,
it's Judi Dench.
414
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,960
It's so wonderful to hear
from you after all these years.
415
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,200
Yes, I'd love to come to your party
416
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,280
but you didn't leave me your address.
417
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,440
So if you could just ring back
with that, that would be fantastic.
418
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,120
(END OF MESSAGE BEEP)
419
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:37,880
Hi, Freddie, it's Judi Dench.
420
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,600
I still haven't heard back from you.
421
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:43,080
I cancelled plans with Daniel Craig
for this, so do phone back.
422
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:44,360
(END OF MESSAGE BEEP)
423
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,080
It's me again, Judi. It's ten o'clock
424
00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:49,040
and I still haven't heard from you.
Right after I throw your gift out,
425
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,600
I'll be heading to sleep
so don't bother ringing me back.
426
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,680
I've got an Oscar.
I don't need this bullshit.
427
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,360
(PHONE LINE DIES)
29257
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