All language subtitles for Vicious S01E06 - Anniversary

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,960 # Is it so? 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,040 # I don't want to let you go 3 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:10,200 # No, never can say goodbye, boy 4 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:14,240 # Oooh, no, no 5 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,880 # I never can say goodbye 6 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:17,640 # No, no, no 7 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,680 # No, no, no # 8 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,640 (PHONE RINGS) 9 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,120 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 10 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,160 Hello? 11 00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,520 Hello? 12 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,000 Freddie? 13 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,040 Stuart? 14 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:43,480 Hello? 15 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,760 I'm not sure where Stuart is. 16 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,520 This is Ash, his neighbour. 17 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,560 Oh, is this Stuart's mum? 18 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,360 Nice to meet you. 19 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,400 No, I'm not a girl. 20 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,000 Ash is also a boy's name. 21 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,800 Yeah, it is. 22 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:05,360 I suppose I'll be seeing you at the party tonight, Mrs Bixby. 23 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,600 At the big party for Freddie and Stuart. 24 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,120 Yes, the actor. 25 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,560 Didn't you know about it? 26 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,160 Great, I'll see you tonight. 27 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,840 Yes, I'm positive I'm a boy. 28 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:22,080 Ash, what have you done? 29 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,760 Violet, you're back. Yes, and just in time I see. 30 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,920 Was that Stuart's mother you were talking to? 31 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:31,080 Yeah, why? And you told her about the anniversary party? 32 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,800 The party for her son and his partner? 33 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,400 The party that's tonight? 34 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:39,240 Yeah. The son she doesn't know the truth about yet. 35 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,720 She doesn't know he's gay? 36 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:44,600 Oh, you're joking. 37 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,960 I'm afraid not. Now think very carefully. 38 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,600 Exactly what did you say? 39 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,840 I don't remember. Think very hard, Ash. 40 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,760 You're scaring me! 41 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,840 Don't worry. We're in this together. 42 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,800 Oh, God, what are they going to do when they find out? 43 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:01,840 Find out what? Aghh! 44 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,200 What the hell is wrong with you two? 45 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,920 Hello, darling, I'm back. 46 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,200 Oh! 47 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,480 I had nothing to do with it. It was all him. 48 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,920 Ash, you remember our friend Violet. 49 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,600 Hi. 50 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,280 I should be leaving. 51 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,760 Not until somebody tells me what's going on. 52 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,480 Why are you both here? 53 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,080 Is Stuart dead? 54 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,720 Oh! 55 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:29,760 Oh, shit. 56 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,560 Happy anniversary to you, too 57 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:36,320 Oh, is that today? I knew there was a reason I woke up vomiting. 58 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,600 Well, happy anniversary. I should get home and unpack. 59 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:46,080 I am so sorry that it didn't work out with your boyfriend in Buenos Aires, Vi. 60 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,040 Well, it was all terribly romantic at the start. 61 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:52,320 And the fact that he stole from me proved he really did care. 62 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:58,360 Now do tell me, what were you both going on about? 63 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,400 It was nothing. 64 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,480 We were just talking about the party tonight 65 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,120 and how much fun it's going to be 66 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,120 and how I maybe invited your mother. 67 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,160 You did what? 68 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,120 You tell me exactly what happened! 69 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,120 Well, I walked in and the phone was ringing 70 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:17,520 and there was no-one was here, so I answered it. 71 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,560 And she was really sweet. 72 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,400 Oh, I don't think that's Stuart's mother, Ash. 73 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,120 And she said that I sounded like a girl. 74 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:27,240 Oh, no, it was her. 75 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,800 Can I have a glass of water? It's really hot in here. Is anybody else hot? 76 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:32,800 Oh, you're doing fine, darling. 77 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,600 I already told you I had nothing to do with what this lunatic did, right? 78 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,320 Continue, Ash. 79 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,880 I asked her if I was going to see her at the party tonight. 80 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:44,000 And she said, 'What party? and I said, 'Freddie and Stuart's party.' 81 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,720 She said, 'The actor?' I said, 'Yeah.' 82 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,120 I don't remember if I said it was an anniversary party 83 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,760 but I guess I invited her and she said she's coming. Bye! 84 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,840 I cannot believe it! 85 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,880 He answered our phone? 86 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:05,200 Hello, Judi, it's Freddie Thornhill again. 87 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:09,160 Just checking to see that you got my messages concerning the party this evening. 88 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,200 It would be lovely to see you. 89 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,560 Oh, please don't tell me you were calling Judi Dench again. 90 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,560 She's a very dear old friend. Why shouldn't I be ringing her? 91 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,880 Because you haven't seen each other in over 40 years. 92 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,760 What nonsense. We saw her just the other day. 93 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,080 Yes, in the latest James Bond film. 94 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,760 You do realise she can't see us back. 95 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,240 Well, any way we used to be very close. 96 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:44,200 Need I remind you we once appeared on television as young sweethearts? 97 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:48,640 Oh, in that Smarties commercial you did 50 years ago? 98 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,320 That very well-regarded Smarties commercial. 99 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,160 >Some even called it Hitchcockian. 100 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,160 And why are you always lurking in doorways? 101 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,040 Isn't there a counter that needs wiping down? 102 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:07,880 Oh, no, I don't need any help at all preparing for the party. 103 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,440 Thank you so much for offering, you big bitch! 104 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,680 I'm coming, aren't I? 105 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,360 That should be enough. 106 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,040 I was hoping you'd show a little more enthusiasm. 107 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:23,040 After all, it's been 49 years. 108 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,640 49 years of what? 109 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,840 I have absolutely no idea at this point. 110 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,880 I have made a decision about something, Freddie. 111 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,440 Well, are you going to tell me 112 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,240 or are we waiting for a messenger to deliver a scroll? 113 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,680 It's something you've wanted me to do for a long time. 114 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,000 You're finally ready to have an open relationship? 115 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,040 No! 116 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,960 I'm going to tell my mother about us... 117 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,560 ..tonight. 118 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,280 It's time, don't you think? 119 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,760 I do. 120 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,520 This is delightful. Mmmm, yes. 121 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,400 Tell me whose flat is this? 122 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,000 Freddie and Stuart's. 123 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,920 Right. It looks like they're getting ready to have a party. 124 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,320 Maybe we should leave. 125 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,040 We're at the party, dear. 126 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,800 Of course. 127 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,600 What fun! 128 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,120 Sorry to keep you waiting. 129 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:48,320 We're putting all the anniversary gifts over there. 130 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,640 Where did you leave yours? 131 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,800 At the store. 132 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,840 Hello, Penelope. 133 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,880 Happy birthday, Steven! 134 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,960 Everything you just said was wrong. 135 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,640 What a glorious evening for erm... 136 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,840 Oh. Is it just the two of them? 137 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,600 So far. 138 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,280 I'll come down again when there are more people. 139 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,400 (DOORBELL) Can I pour myself a drink? 140 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,560 When we get our gift you get your drink. 141 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,440 Oh! Happy anniversary, darling! 142 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,280 Thank you, Violet. 143 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,320 Let me take that from you. 144 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,760 It's so light. 145 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,360 It's just a box. 146 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,960 I wanted to make a festive entrance. 147 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,520 What is wrong with you people? 148 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,360 How many now? Oh, for God's sake! 149 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,760 Just come down! Fine. 150 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,920 Hello, Violet. 151 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,200 I was hoping to make an entrance for Judi. 152 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,400 Who's Judi? Judi Dench! 153 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,440 Who else is Judi? 154 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,920 The check-out girl at my Tesco is Judi. 155 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:05,440 Well, it's not her! We did not invite the bloody check-out girl from Tesco to our anniversary party. 156 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,560 We invited Dame Judi... 157 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,600 ..Dench! 158 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:13,120 Is Judi Dench coming tonight? 159 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,240 We're hoping. Freddie has invited her. 160 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,280 (No.) 161 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,440 We worked together long ago. 162 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,720 The 12 hours we spent eating chocolates 163 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,880 was one of the highlights of my career. 164 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,040 Yes, of course, the Smarties commercial! 165 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,240 That she remembers! 166 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,520 I see your mother's not here yet, Stuart. 167 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,600 No, not yet. 168 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:40,640 You'll know she's arrived when you hear the gates of hell creaking open. 169 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,280 Have you decided what you're going to do? 170 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:47,280 Oh, yes. I'm going to tell her the truth about myself and Freddie. 171 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,120 Finally. 172 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,160 I'm very proud of you. 173 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,320 Tonight? Are you sure? 174 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,400 Perhaps Ash never mentioned it was an anniversary party. 175 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,880 We can just say we're celebrating some other event. 176 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,120 It was actually my birthday yesterday. 177 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,360 So what? 178 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,160 We wouldn't be having a party for that. 179 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,720 No, I've decided, I'm going to tell her. 180 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,760 Damn the consequences. 181 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,000 (DOORBELL) Oh! That could be her. 182 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:22,160 Look out of the window first. Check if you see any flying monkeys. 183 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,080 Oh. It's just Ash. 184 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:28,920 Oh, Ash, you are looking very handsome this evening. 185 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,920 Very...tapered 186 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,960 and slim. Very stylish. 187 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,000 Very well-groomed. 188 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,440 I'm still straight. 189 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,560 Will you let us know if that ever changes? 190 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,680 I've brought you a gift. Oh, thank you, Ash. 191 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,920 How thoughtful. And it's not even empty. 192 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,440 Stuart, I'm really sorry about mentioning the party to your mum. 193 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,440 No, I'm actually glad you did, Ash. 194 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,800 I've been putting it off for far too long. 195 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:04,040 If you waited any longer we'd have to dig her up to tell her 196 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:08,960 Ash, you know Penelope and Mason. 197 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,920 And you remember our friend Violet. 198 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,280 You're joking, right? 199 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,320 Excuse me? 200 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,040 Nothing, it's just... 201 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,760 Just what? 202 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,800 Well, it's kind of... 203 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,920 Kind of, you know... 204 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,600 What's he talking about? 205 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,440 Is he having a seizure? You have to hold his tongue. 206 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:41,000 It's kind of crazy, don't you think, that you always say to me, 'You remember our friend Violet?' 207 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,080 I mean, I've only met her a thousand times. 208 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:47,720 We've all had dinners together. We've gone to pubs together. 209 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,800 We even went to bloody Stonehenge! 210 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,560 Of course I remember Violet! 211 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:56,000 She practically gives me a hand job every time she says hello! 212 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,760 Well, about time. Welcome to the family. 213 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,880 I didn't even realise I was saying it. 214 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,960 Did you? Not at all. 215 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,000 And I only touched his penis twice. 216 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,200 By accident. 217 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,480 Wow, it feels really good to say what you think. 218 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,040 I'm going to try it more often. 219 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,680 Please don't try it on me, dear. 220 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,560 Because it's already horrible enough coming here. 221 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,760 How heartwarming. 222 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:42,400 You're both going to turn that sweet boy into a gargoyle like you. 223 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,600 Yes. I think we just might. 224 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,440 (DOORBELL) 225 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:49,400 Oh, my God, it's her. 226 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,440 Or Judi. It could also be Judi. 227 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,000 Judi Dench. 228 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,160 Not Judi from Tesco. 229 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,240 Hello, Mother. 230 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,280 Hello, Stuart. 231 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,920 Please, come in. 232 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,960 Hello, Mildred. You're looking... 233 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,200 ..alive. 234 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,480 Kind of. 235 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:17,120 Who's he? 236 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,080 That's Freddie, my flatmate. 237 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,080 You know, the actor. 238 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,080 And this is Ash 239 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,600 and Penelope and Mason. 240 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,400 And Violet of course. 241 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:29,440 Oh, yes. The slut. 242 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,960 Lovely seeing you, too, Mildred. 243 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,680 Now tell me, is this your birthday party? 244 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,720 Yes, it is. No, it's not! 245 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,040 Don't you know when my birthday is? 246 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,560 April? 247 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:48,800 Freddie, tell her when my birthday is! 248 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,560 July? 249 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,640 It was mine yesterday. 250 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,000 Happy birthday to me. 251 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,480 My birthday is in October! 252 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,680 And this party, Mother, 253 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:09,040 is celebrate our 49th anniversary! 254 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,840 Yes. That's right, 255 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,760 Freddie and I... 256 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,800 ..are partners. 257 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,120 Well? 258 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,880 I told you not to say anything. 259 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,000 Are you sure she's all right, Freddie? 260 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,760 Yes, unfortunately. 261 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,800 Just a fainting spell. 262 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,360 You think she could have at least broken a hip. 263 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,040 I can't help but feel it might have put a damper on the party 264 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,080 if Stuart's mother had died. 265 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,600 I don't know. I think it would have perked things up a bit. 266 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,600 Erm, did anybody lose a set of teeth? 267 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:03,800 They must be Mildred's. 268 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,840 Oh, yes. You can tell from the fangs. 269 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,440 How is she, darling? She's resting peacefully. 270 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,040 With God? 271 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,760 I don't think she even remembers what happened. 272 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,080 Oh, did anybody find teeth? 273 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,560 I did. They have bits of stuff from the floor all over them. 274 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,600 They need to be rinsed off. No, they're fine. 275 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:25,280 I'll just shove them back in while she's asleep. 276 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:29,080 So she didn't mention anything at all about your news? 277 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,000 Not a thing. 278 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,680 Oh, she did apologise for breaking wind after she collapsed. 279 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,720 I told you that was her! 280 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,920 I stand corrected. 281 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,520 This time. 282 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,120 Well, hats off, it was another glorious evening. 283 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:52,440 This party's isn't over yet. There are still more guests to arrive. 284 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,280 Freddie, I don't think udi Dench is going to come. 285 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,600 Of course she's going to come. 286 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,160 It's early still. 287 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,240 We're supposed to be having fun, so let's have fun for Christ sake! 288 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:04,960 Now you, sit down! 289 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,840 Do as he says. Everybody, please, just do as he says! 290 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,720 Well, I think I'm going to have another drink. 291 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,760 Anybody else like one? 292 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:18,480 I think if we're going to get through this night, we'll each need our own bottle. 293 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:22,960 All right, settle down. 294 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:28,720 This isn't quite as I imagined our 49th anniversary. 295 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,560 Really? Because this is exactly how I imagined it. 296 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,280 Uncomfortable and tense with very little food. 297 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:40,120 Oh, isn't it as grand as your anniversary parties? 298 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,040 Oh, wait, that's right! You've never been married. 299 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,240 Well if you'll excuse me, 300 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,480 I think I'm going to say hello to the dog. 301 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,400 He's somewhat better company. 302 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,880 What's wrong with her? 303 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,520 I have no idea. Suddenly people can't take jokes any more 304 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,400 You all know we're joking with you, right? 305 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,720 Right! 306 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,760 Yeah. Yes, of course. 307 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,920 Are you all right, Violet? 308 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,960 Yes, yes, I'm fine. 309 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,040 >I'm just being silly, that's all. 310 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,120 Do you want to talk about it? 311 00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,160 With you? Yeah. With me. 312 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:28,600 Oh, Ash, I don't want you to think I'm feeling sorry for myself. 313 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:30,640 It's just... When is it my turn? 314 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,000 When am I going to meet somebody? 315 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,200 I don't want to be alone any more. 316 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:41,040 I guess I had a dream my life would be so different 317 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,080 from this hell I'm living. 318 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:47,800 Now life has killed the dream I dreamed. 319 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,520 Isn't that from Les Mis? 320 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,600 Yes, but it holds true in this situation too. 321 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,920 I think you're a wonderful woman, Violet. 322 00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,560 You do? 323 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,920 I do. And any man would be lucky to have you. 324 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,880 He's out there. I promise. 325 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,400 (CHEERING AND LAUGHTER) 326 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,400 Oh, sorry. 327 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,720 Thank you. 328 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,760 I feel much better. 329 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,360 OK, well, 330 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,880 I'm going to go into the other room now. 331 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:43,040 What was that? 332 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,720 Just two friends sharing a moment. 333 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,960 >Oh. Because it looked like you were trying to eat his face. 334 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,800 I didn't mean to hurt your feelings just now. 335 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,560 I sometimes... 336 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:56,800 I know, darling. It's all right. 337 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,280 You know, I actually feel kind of fabulous. 338 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,440 Stuart, get in here. It's back! 339 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,080 God help us. 340 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,800 Mother, how are you feeling? 341 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,440 Like there's something very strange stuck to my teeth. 342 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,640 A button. 343 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,160 You're old. You're eating buttons. 344 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,640 It happens 345 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,960 Is there anything you'd like to talk about 346 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,000 from earlier this evening, Mother? 347 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,440 You mean when I farted? 348 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,000 No, before that, dear. 349 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,520 When I told you my news. 350 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,200 No, I don't remember. 351 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,440 Well, then perhaps I should refresh your memory. 352 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,880 It's something that is very important to me and... 353 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,920 I said I don't remember 354 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:58,240 and I certainly don't want to talk about it, so do be quiet! 355 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,280 Of course, Mother. 356 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,520 Well, we are going to talk about it. 357 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,960 And you are going to listen! 358 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,440 Oh, good Lord. 359 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,000 Why don't they just bash her over the head and be done with it? 360 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,800 The man you are talking so disrespectfully to 361 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:19,640 is not only your son but my partner of 49 years! 362 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,680 Oh, they're a couple! 363 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,360 And I will have you know he is the most wonderful man in the world 364 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,400 and I am proud to call him my lover! 365 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,400 It's getting very graphic. 366 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,120 Yes, we have had a few minor differences over the years 367 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,440 but I can't imagine my life without him. 368 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:48,120 So when you talk to him, you talk to him with respect. 369 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,280 Oh, Freddie, I don't know what to say. 370 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,320 Shut up! 371 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,200 I'm not finished yet. 372 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,480 He cares very deeply about you 373 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,200 but unless you can accept him and our relationship 374 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,240 you are not welcome here. 375 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,040 Now I'm finished. 376 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,720 Thank you. 377 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,520 OK. 378 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,560 OK? Yes. Congratulations. 379 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,240 Call me tomorrow. And the food was awful. 380 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,920 I can't believe it. 381 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:33,680 After all these years my mother finally accepts me. 382 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,720 Oh, Stuart. 383 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,000 She really is a vile woman. 384 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,040 Dreadful. 385 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,360 That was amazing what you did, Freddie. 386 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,680 Not at all, Ash. I just stood up for the person I love. 387 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,200 You'll do that one day, too. 388 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,080 I hope I have your strength. 389 00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:52,120 I'm sure you will. 390 00:20:55,720 --> 00:21:01,560 Did Freddie Thornhill just use the word 'love'? 391 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,600 You're so desperate. 392 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,440 Clinging to any kind word tossed your way. 393 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:09,440 It's very unattractive, Stuart. 394 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:11,480 So why don't you get us some drinks 395 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,920 and stop standing there with your mouth gaping open 396 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,960 like a cheap Italian fountain? 397 00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:22,400 It must be so nice to have been in love with somebody 398 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,040 for 49 years. 399 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:28,600 Do let me know what that feels like. 400 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,000 Ah, this is the way it should be. 401 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,280 Now it feels like home. 402 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,920 So do you both sleep in the same bed? 403 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:42,600 Yes, Penelope. 404 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,640 Two men. 405 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,640 How extraordinary. 406 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,080 You know what? It's a gorgeous evening. 407 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,680 I suddenly feel like opening the curtains. 408 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,760 We are just so happy 409 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,120 that you are all here to share our anniversary. 410 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,160 You do know that we love you all very much, right? 411 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,560 >Right! 412 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,840 413 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,680 ANSWERMACHINE: Hello, Freddie, it's Judi Dench. 414 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,960 It's so wonderful to hear from you after all these years. 415 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,200 Yes, I'd love to come to your party 416 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,280 but you didn't leave me your address. 417 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,440 So if you could just ring back with that, that would be fantastic. 418 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,120 (END OF MESSAGE BEEP) 419 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:37,880 Hi, Freddie, it's Judi Dench. 420 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:39,600 I still haven't heard back from you. 421 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:43,080 I cancelled plans with Daniel Craig for this, so do phone back. 422 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:44,360 (END OF MESSAGE BEEP) 423 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,080 It's me again, Judi. It's ten o'clock 424 00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:49,040 and I still haven't heard from you. Right after I throw your gift out, 425 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,600 I'll be heading to sleep so don't bother ringing me back. 426 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,680 I've got an Oscar. I don't need this bullshit. 427 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,360 (PHONE LINE DIES) 29257

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