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1
00:00:23,010 --> 00:00:24,967
[person 1] Make sure
I'm in the frame.
2
00:00:25,002 --> 00:00:26,936
Make sure you get my head.
I want to see my hair.
3
00:00:26,971 --> 00:00:28,839
[person 2]
All right, all right.
[person 1] Janis, hurry up!
4
00:00:28,874 --> 00:00:30,313
[Janis] It's not easy
making a movie.
5
00:00:30,348 --> 00:00:31,545
[person 1] You better not
drop my phone.
6
00:00:32,350 --> 00:00:33,646
You got it?
7
00:00:33,681 --> 00:00:35,615
Yep. Yep. Yep.
Okay, here we go.
8
00:00:35,650 --> 00:00:37,353
Hey... Oh, Lord.
[Janis] Shit.
9
00:00:37,388 --> 00:00:39,487
[person 1]
We're Cloverfielding.
Pick it up.
10
00:00:39,522 --> 00:00:41,654
[Janis] Give me a minute.
[person 1] Make sure
I'm in the frame, girl.
11
00:00:41,689 --> 00:00:44,690
Give me a minute!
Am I in the frame?
12
00:00:44,725 --> 00:00:46,021
I'm in there?
[Janis] Yes.
13
00:00:46,056 --> 00:00:47,363
Get me in the frame?
Yeah.
14
00:00:47,398 --> 00:00:48,562
You got my head in there?
Yeah.
15
00:00:48,597 --> 00:00:50,894
Boom, let's go.
16
00:00:50,929 --> 00:00:53,303
♪ It's a cautionary tale ♪
17
00:00:53,338 --> 00:00:55,239
♪ Of fear and lust and pride ♪
18
00:00:55,274 --> 00:00:59,507
♪ Based on actual events
Where people died ♪
19
00:00:59,542 --> 00:01:00,904
No one died.
20
00:01:00,939 --> 00:01:02,114
♪ But how far
Would you go ♪
21
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:04,644
♪ To be popular and hot? ♪
22
00:01:04,679 --> 00:01:07,284
♪ Would you resist temptation? ♪
23
00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:08,747
♪ No, you would not! ♪
24
00:01:08,782 --> 00:01:10,716
♪ Just admit it sometimes ♪
25
00:01:10,751 --> 00:01:15,688
♪ Mean is what you are
Mean is easier than nice ♪
26
00:01:15,723 --> 00:01:18,691
♪ And though mean
Can take you far ♪
27
00:01:18,726 --> 00:01:22,024
♪ Maybe this will
Make you think twice ♪
28
00:01:22,059 --> 00:01:24,026
Spin. Clicker. Fosse!
29
00:01:24,061 --> 00:01:27,502
♪ This is a cautionary tale ♪
30
00:01:28,670 --> 00:01:31,033
♪ About corruption
And betrayal ♪
31
00:01:31,068 --> 00:01:33,541
♪ And getting hit by a bus! ♪
32
00:01:33,576 --> 00:01:36,742
♪ You can't buy integrity ♪
[vocalizing]
33
00:01:36,777 --> 00:01:41,780
♪ At the mall
It's not for sale ♪
34
00:01:41,815 --> 00:01:42,946
Truth.
35
00:01:42,981 --> 00:01:46,653
♪ This is a cautionary ♪
36
00:01:46,688 --> 00:01:52,824
♪ Tale! ♪
37
00:02:03,573 --> 00:02:05,606
[birds chirping]
38
00:02:10,041 --> 00:02:11,711
[person] ♪ I used
To think I would spend ♪
39
00:02:11,746 --> 00:02:14,450
♪ Every second I have ♪
40
00:02:15,420 --> 00:02:17,849
♪ Right where my story began ♪
41
00:02:20,117 --> 00:02:21,820
♪ I'd be happy here ♪
42
00:02:21,855 --> 00:02:24,658
♪ Every day, month
Year of my life ♪
43
00:02:24,693 --> 00:02:28,761
♪ But now I'm wishing
For whatever comes
After goodbye ♪
44
00:02:29,764 --> 00:02:32,534
♪ On every star in the sky ♪
45
00:02:34,703 --> 00:02:39,035
♪ And I'm dreaming of
What I could become ♪
46
00:02:39,070 --> 00:02:42,313
♪ This is where home will be ♪
47
00:02:42,348 --> 00:02:45,910
♪ As long as my lungs
Can breathe ♪
48
00:02:45,945 --> 00:02:49,683
♪ But my heart is dyin'
To leave ♪
49
00:02:49,718 --> 00:02:52,389
♪ 'Cause I know there's more
To me ♪
50
00:02:52,424 --> 00:02:54,688
♪ I don't want to live with
What ifs... ♪
51
00:02:54,723 --> 00:02:56,151
[Mom] Cady?
52
00:02:56,186 --> 00:02:58,087
I've been thinking
about what you said.
53
00:02:58,122 --> 00:03:00,958
About being frustrated
by my decision
54
00:03:00,993 --> 00:03:02,597
and feeling
a little stuck here,
55
00:03:02,632 --> 00:03:03,829
just me and you.
56
00:03:03,864 --> 00:03:05,193
I'm sorry I yelled.
57
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:07,437
But you have a point.
58
00:03:07,472 --> 00:03:08,801
Maybe I've been
a little selfish,
59
00:03:08,836 --> 00:03:10,407
putting my research ahead
60
00:03:10,442 --> 00:03:12,442
of your social
and emotional development.
61
00:03:12,477 --> 00:03:14,477
I called the people
from Northwestern back.
62
00:03:14,512 --> 00:03:15,709
I took the job.
63
00:03:16,580 --> 00:03:17,909
What?
64
00:03:17,944 --> 00:03:19,812
But they need me
to start on September 9th.
65
00:03:19,847 --> 00:03:23,387
♪ I don't want to live
With what ifs, might haves ♪
66
00:03:23,422 --> 00:03:27,050
♪ Could have been if I had ♪
Cady?
67
00:03:27,085 --> 00:03:31,560
♪ Only tried, not held back
Oh, no ♪
68
00:03:31,595 --> 00:03:33,694
♪ That's not a part of my plan ♪
69
00:03:33,729 --> 00:03:37,027
♪ That's not the me that I
That's not the me that I am ♪
70
00:03:37,062 --> 00:03:39,535
♪ This time
There's no lookin' back ♪
71
00:03:40,868 --> 00:03:44,540
♪ I'm crossing things
Off my list ♪
72
00:03:44,575 --> 00:03:48,280
♪ Don't want to run out of time
Before I wake up and find ♪
73
00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:50,612
♪ There was a life
That I missed ♪
74
00:03:51,780 --> 00:03:54,451
♪ My limit doesn't exist ♪
75
00:03:57,786 --> 00:03:59,852
[students laughing, chattering]
76
00:04:01,592 --> 00:04:03,592
[school bell ringing]
77
00:04:04,562 --> 00:04:06,188
I'll pick you up at 3:00.
78
00:04:06,223 --> 00:04:07,464
[chuckles]
79
00:04:12,229 --> 00:04:16,198
♪ I don't want to live
With what ifs, might haves ♪
80
00:04:16,233 --> 00:04:19,938
♪ Could have been if I had ♪
81
00:04:19,973 --> 00:04:24,206
♪ Only tried, not held back
Oh, no ♪
82
00:04:24,241 --> 00:04:27,418
♪ That's not a part of my plan
That's not the me that I am ♪
83
00:04:27,453 --> 00:04:30,619
♪ No what ifs, regrets ♪
84
00:04:30,654 --> 00:04:34,282
♪ Wear my strengths
And weakness ♪
85
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:38,759
♪ I won't hide my feelings
Oh, no ♪
86
00:04:38,794 --> 00:04:41,729
♪ That's not a part of my plan
That's not the... ♪
87
00:04:41,764 --> 00:04:43,599
[gasps]
Bitch, move.
88
00:04:45,603 --> 00:04:47,339
[bubble pops]
[chewing]
89
00:04:49,739 --> 00:04:50,771
[garbage bin thumps]
90
00:04:53,105 --> 00:04:54,643
[principal] Hope you all
had a good summer.
91
00:04:54,678 --> 00:04:56,106
Mine was pretty good.
92
00:04:56,141 --> 00:04:58,581
I worked
in my brother-in-law's
93
00:04:58,616 --> 00:05:00,385
golf pro shop.
94
00:05:00,420 --> 00:05:03,278
Did not make a lot of money,
so of course I am back
95
00:05:03,313 --> 00:05:06,149
to help shepherd you all
into the future.
96
00:05:06,184 --> 00:05:07,425
[snoring]
97
00:05:09,759 --> 00:05:10,791
[gasps]
98
00:05:11,860 --> 00:05:13,695
May I have everyone's
attention, please?
99
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:16,225
Eyes to the front of the room.
100
00:05:16,260 --> 00:05:19,327
You may notice
we have a new student
joining us today.
101
00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:20,867
She just moved here
from Kentucky.
102
00:05:20,902 --> 00:05:21,967
Kenya.
103
00:05:22,002 --> 00:05:24,442
Kenya. Her name is Caddy.
104
00:05:24,477 --> 00:05:26,334
It's Cady. Cady Heron.
105
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:28,908
My apologies.
I will commit that to memory.
106
00:05:28,943 --> 00:05:32,813
Cady, like the Canadian
songstress k.d. lang,
107
00:05:32,848 --> 00:05:36,146
and Heron,
like the illegal street drug.
108
00:05:37,116 --> 00:05:39,083
Thank you, Caddy.
It's Cady.
109
00:05:39,118 --> 00:05:41,822
Cady, hi. I'm Ms. Norbury.
I'll be your homeroom teacher.
110
00:05:41,857 --> 00:05:43,252
This is your roster.
111
00:05:43,287 --> 00:05:45,023
I see I also have you
for A.P. Calculus.
112
00:05:45,058 --> 00:05:47,223
You must have had excellent
teachers at your old school.
113
00:05:47,258 --> 00:05:49,027
Oh, I was homeschooled.
Homeschooled?
114
00:05:49,062 --> 00:05:51,799
Oh, that's a fun way
to take jobs from my union.
115
00:05:51,834 --> 00:05:53,328
No, I'm joking. It's fine.
Ah.
116
00:05:53,363 --> 00:05:55,297
Um, do you think you can
follow this schedule?
117
00:05:55,332 --> 00:05:57,035
Yeah, I think so.
Okay, you're gonna be moving
118
00:05:57,070 --> 00:05:58,707
from class to class
with each...
119
00:05:58,742 --> 00:06:00,368
[school bell rings]
120
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:01,237
That's it.
121
00:06:02,174 --> 00:06:03,547
[teacher] Everybody find a seat.
122
00:06:04,209 --> 00:06:05,076
Please.
123
00:06:09,016 --> 00:06:10,983
This is first period:
124
00:06:11,018 --> 00:06:12,721
American Literature.
125
00:06:12,756 --> 00:06:14,492
[rapping]
♪ My name is Mister Rapp ♪
126
00:06:14,527 --> 00:06:16,626
♪ And I take no...? ♪
127
00:06:18,696 --> 00:06:21,191
♪ My name is Mister Rapp
And I take no...? ♪
128
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:23,358
"...care of myself"?
129
00:06:23,393 --> 00:06:27,967
"Crap."
Correct answer was "crap."
130
00:06:29,267 --> 00:06:30,673
Find a seat.
131
00:06:30,708 --> 00:06:32,400
I don't want you
to think of me
132
00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:34,006
as just any other teacher.
133
00:06:34,041 --> 00:06:35,546
I prefer to think of myself
134
00:06:35,581 --> 00:06:37,548
as a time traveler.
[school bell rings]
135
00:06:37,583 --> 00:06:41,079
Maintenant nous choisissons
nos noms français.
136
00:06:41,917 --> 00:06:43,653
Cady. Comment tu t'appelles?
137
00:06:43,688 --> 00:06:45,853
Je m'appelle Cady.
Incorrecte!
138
00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:48,383
You have to pick
a French name.
139
00:06:48,418 --> 00:06:49,758
All the French people I know
140
00:06:49,793 --> 00:06:52,024
just call me Cady.
[chuckles]
141
00:06:52,059 --> 00:06:53,696
Just say Marie.
142
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,501
Um... Marie?
143
00:06:56,536 --> 00:06:58,195
[in French pronunciation] Marie.
144
00:06:58,230 --> 00:07:00,703
J'anice.
J'anice.
145
00:07:00,738 --> 00:07:03,332
Chanel.
Non.
146
00:07:03,367 --> 00:07:04,872
Fantine.
Non.
147
00:07:04,907 --> 00:07:06,170
Celine Dion?
148
00:07:06,205 --> 00:07:07,171
Non.
149
00:07:07,778 --> 00:07:09,140
Beyoncé.
150
00:07:09,175 --> 00:07:11,076
Quais. Mais non.
151
00:07:11,111 --> 00:07:13,012
[laughing]
152
00:07:13,047 --> 00:07:15,784
Welcome to "Health
and Human Sexuality."
153
00:07:15,819 --> 00:07:18,215
Now, this fall
we'll be getting
154
00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:21,559
into the state-mandated unit
on Abstinence.
155
00:07:21,594 --> 00:07:23,187
Of course then followed by,
in the spring,
156
00:07:23,222 --> 00:07:25,222
Condoms and Choking.
157
00:07:25,257 --> 00:07:27,796
Where do you think
you're going there, hotshot?
158
00:07:27,831 --> 00:07:29,534
I need to urinate.
159
00:07:29,569 --> 00:07:30,799
No way, José.
160
00:07:30,834 --> 00:07:32,394
Uh, it's Cady.
161
00:07:32,429 --> 00:07:33,802
Well, Cady,
162
00:07:33,837 --> 00:07:35,903
first thing you need to do
is ask permission.
163
00:07:35,938 --> 00:07:37,465
But the second thing
you'll need
164
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,643
is this lavatory pass
165
00:07:39,678 --> 00:07:41,645
that is shaped
like a sperm whale.
166
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:42,745
Get it?
167
00:07:43,308 --> 00:07:44,714
[Cady] Um...
168
00:07:44,749 --> 00:07:46,782
May I please have
the lavatory pass?
169
00:07:46,817 --> 00:07:49,081
No, you may not.
You may go sit back down.
170
00:07:49,116 --> 00:07:51,886
You can go at lunch.
Nice try, kiddo.
171
00:07:51,921 --> 00:07:53,415
All right,
let's jump into this!
172
00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:55,626
This won't be awkward at all,
I swear to God.
173
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,597
[students chattering]
174
00:08:34,128 --> 00:08:35,996
[toilet flushing]
175
00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:43,366
This one. [clears throat]
176
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,305
Are you okay in there?
177
00:08:48,340 --> 00:08:49,944
[Cady] Uh, yes.
178
00:08:49,979 --> 00:08:51,539
'Cause you've been in there
a very long time.
179
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:52,980
We're concerned
you're either doing drugs
180
00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:54,212
or having a toilet baby.
181
00:08:57,019 --> 00:08:58,689
Hi. I'm Janis.
182
00:08:58,724 --> 00:09:00,350
And je m'appelle Sasha Fierce.
183
00:09:00,385 --> 00:09:01,593
This is Damian.
184
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,056
He is almost too gay
to function.
185
00:09:03,091 --> 00:09:05,355
But I push through.
I manage.
186
00:09:05,390 --> 00:09:06,829
Hi.
187
00:09:06,864 --> 00:09:07,962
[Damian] We've been
watching you all day.
188
00:09:07,997 --> 00:09:09,458
You're a mess.
189
00:09:09,493 --> 00:09:13,704
So we volunteer to amplify
your lunch experience.
190
00:09:13,739 --> 00:09:16,707
Yeah, what Damian is saying is
we will help you, Caddy.
191
00:09:16,742 --> 00:09:20,777
Thanks so much.
Um... it's Cady.
192
00:09:20,812 --> 00:09:22,746
Yeah.
I'm gonna call you Caddy.
193
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:24,847
Get out of the toilet!
194
00:09:24,882 --> 00:09:26,574
Mkay.
195
00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:29,511
You just need to find
your clique and commit to it.
196
00:09:29,546 --> 00:09:31,051
You have your Jocks.
197
00:09:31,086 --> 00:09:32,855
[shouting]
198
00:09:32,890 --> 00:09:35,451
Your Corny Horny Band Freaks.
199
00:09:38,929 --> 00:09:40,258
Your Classic Burnouts.
200
00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:42,095
[growls]
201
00:09:42,130 --> 00:09:43,393
Do any of these feel
like your people?
202
00:09:43,428 --> 00:09:45,362
I don't think so.
[Damian] Hmm...
203
00:09:45,397 --> 00:09:47,364
You know what might
be cute for her?
204
00:09:47,399 --> 00:09:48,739
[Janis] What, Grade Grubbers?
205
00:09:48,774 --> 00:09:50,609
[Damian] No, I was gonna say
Theater Mess.
206
00:09:56,606 --> 00:09:58,507
And who's at that table?
207
00:09:58,542 --> 00:10:00,916
[indistinct chatter]
[Damian] Oh, no, no, no.
208
00:10:00,951 --> 00:10:02,511
We call them the Plastics
209
00:10:02,546 --> 00:10:04,249
'cause they're shiny,
fake and hard.
210
00:10:04,284 --> 00:10:05,855
Yeah, that's Gretchen Wieners.
211
00:10:05,890 --> 00:10:08,121
She knows everything
about everybody.
212
00:10:08,156 --> 00:10:09,826
[Damian] That's why
her hair's so big.
213
00:10:09,861 --> 00:10:11,553
[whispering]
It's full of secrets.
214
00:10:11,588 --> 00:10:13,093
And that's Karen Shetty.
215
00:10:13,128 --> 00:10:14,831
She's the dumbest person
you'll ever meet.
216
00:10:14,866 --> 00:10:18,197
I once saw her put a D
in the word "orange."
217
00:10:18,232 --> 00:10:19,770
[bubbling]
218
00:10:20,905 --> 00:10:23,070
Could I just sit
with you guys?
219
00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:25,402
I actually don't know.
220
00:10:25,437 --> 00:10:26,777
We've never been asked
that question before.
221
00:10:26,812 --> 00:10:27,976
Could she?
222
00:10:28,011 --> 00:10:30,275
We are very exclusive,
223
00:10:30,310 --> 00:10:33,751
but I think we can make
an exception.
224
00:10:33,786 --> 00:10:35,951
[electricity crackles]
225
00:10:35,986 --> 00:10:38,151
What was that?
Oh, Lord, it's the Queen Bee.
Don't look her in the eye!
226
00:10:38,186 --> 00:10:41,286
[footsteps approaching]
227
00:10:51,331 --> 00:10:56,103
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
228
00:10:57,172 --> 00:11:02,142
♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
229
00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:05,640
♪ Fear me, love me ♪
230
00:11:05,675 --> 00:11:09,347
♪ Stand and stare at me ♪
231
00:11:09,382 --> 00:11:11,646
♪ And these? ♪
232
00:11:11,681 --> 00:11:13,648
♪ These are real ♪
233
00:11:13,683 --> 00:11:17,157
♪ I've got money and looks ♪
234
00:11:18,864 --> 00:11:23,328
♪ I am, like, drunk with power ♪
235
00:11:23,363 --> 00:11:28,938
♪ This whole school
Humps my leg ♪
236
00:11:28,973 --> 00:11:32,535
♪ Like a Chihuahua ♪
237
00:11:32,570 --> 00:11:37,848
♪ I'm the prettiest poison
You've ever seen ♪
238
00:11:37,883 --> 00:11:43,018
♪ That filter you use
Looks just like me ♪
239
00:11:43,053 --> 00:11:47,891
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
240
00:11:47,926 --> 00:11:52,830
♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
241
00:11:52,865 --> 00:11:57,659
♪ I don't care who you are ♪
242
00:11:57,694 --> 00:12:00,233
♪ I don't care ♪
243
00:12:00,268 --> 00:12:07,240
♪ How you feel ♪
244
00:12:07,275 --> 00:12:08,538
You.
245
00:12:08,573 --> 00:12:10,111
Yeah, you. Come here.
246
00:12:19,254 --> 00:12:20,616
Why don't I know you?
247
00:12:20,651 --> 00:12:23,553
I'm new. I just moved here
from Kenya.
248
00:12:23,588 --> 00:12:24,961
Shut up.
249
00:12:25,623 --> 00:12:26,831
Shut up!
250
00:12:26,866 --> 00:12:28,591
I didn't say anything.
251
00:12:28,626 --> 00:12:29,966
You're, like, really pretty.
252
00:12:31,365 --> 00:12:33,431
Thanks.
So you agree?
253
00:12:33,466 --> 00:12:34,663
You think
you're really pretty?
254
00:12:36,007 --> 00:12:37,600
Oh, I don't know.
255
00:12:37,635 --> 00:12:40,735
You're an international
student. That is so fetch.
256
00:12:40,770 --> 00:12:42,044
What is "fetch"?
257
00:12:42,079 --> 00:12:44,948
It's like slang
from an old movie.
258
00:12:44,983 --> 00:12:48,116
Juno, I think.
[sighs]
259
00:12:48,151 --> 00:12:49,579
Have you ever touched a tiger?
260
00:12:49,614 --> 00:12:52,120
Uh, no, those aren't
indigenous to Kenya.
261
00:12:52,155 --> 00:12:54,650
'Cause that's one
of my life goals.
262
00:12:54,685 --> 00:12:57,191
To not touch a tiger.
263
00:12:57,226 --> 00:12:59,292
Hey, new girl!
You want to see a trick?
264
00:12:59,327 --> 00:13:00,898
I can guess
any girl's bra size.
265
00:13:00,933 --> 00:13:02,790
All you got to do
is jump one time.
266
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,968
Ew, Jason!
Do me.
267
00:13:05,003 --> 00:13:06,563
Oh, my God, Jason.
268
00:13:06,598 --> 00:13:09,599
You do not come to a party
at my house with Gretchen
269
00:13:09,634 --> 00:13:11,436
and then skeeze on the new girl
right in front of me.
270
00:13:11,471 --> 00:13:13,471
Do you want to have sex
with him?
271
00:13:13,506 --> 00:13:15,770
Oh, uh... no, thank you.
272
00:13:15,805 --> 00:13:17,079
Okay, then it's settled.
273
00:13:17,114 --> 00:13:18,410
Jason, no one thinks
you're funny.
274
00:13:18,445 --> 00:13:19,741
Okay? And this thing
you're doing
275
00:13:19,776 --> 00:13:21,083
where you lower your voice
when you talk
276
00:13:21,118 --> 00:13:22,480
is making people really sad.
277
00:13:22,515 --> 00:13:24,482
Excuse me, anyone
who would like Jason Weems
278
00:13:24,517 --> 00:13:26,484
to go back
to his normal speaking voice,
279
00:13:26,519 --> 00:13:27,452
please raise your hand.
280
00:13:31,821 --> 00:13:32,996
Yeah.
281
00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:34,965
Bitch.
282
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,560
Wow.
283
00:13:36,595 --> 00:13:38,496
You're really gonna
get noticed around here.
284
00:13:39,334 --> 00:13:40,531
We should help you.
285
00:13:42,469 --> 00:13:44,271
Can you give us some privacy
for a sec?
286
00:13:44,306 --> 00:13:46,339
Oh. Yeah, sure.
287
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,980
[both mouthing words]
288
00:13:50,015 --> 00:13:52,147
[softly] I have your lunch!
289
00:13:53,381 --> 00:13:55,414
All right.
290
00:13:55,449 --> 00:13:57,515
So, we never really
do this, but...
291
00:13:57,550 --> 00:13:58,989
...you're invited
to eat lunch with us
292
00:13:59,024 --> 00:14:01,222
for the rest of the week.
Oh. Um...
293
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,521
That's okay.
On Wednesdays,
we wear pink.
294
00:14:04,293 --> 00:14:05,292
[chuckles]
295
00:14:06,658 --> 00:14:08,592
They want me to have lunch
with them all week.
296
00:14:08,627 --> 00:14:10,363
[chuckles]
That is tits!
297
00:14:10,398 --> 00:14:12,002
She means "that's great."
298
00:14:12,037 --> 00:14:14,037
I don't really get why
you guys hate them so much.
299
00:14:14,072 --> 00:14:16,138
Regina seems kind of cool.
No, no... [chuckles]
300
00:14:16,173 --> 00:14:17,832
Regina George is not cool.
301
00:14:17,867 --> 00:14:19,702
She's a scum-sucking
life ruiner.
302
00:14:19,737 --> 00:14:22,342
Janis hates Regina
because when we were
in sixth grade,
303
00:14:22,377 --> 00:14:24,509
she told everybody
that she was--
Hey, Damian!
304
00:14:24,544 --> 00:14:25,576
What?
305
00:14:25,611 --> 00:14:26,742
Shall we not?
306
00:14:26,777 --> 00:14:28,183
[Damian]
I am providing context.
307
00:14:28,218 --> 00:14:29,349
Caddy?
308
00:14:29,384 --> 00:14:31,153
You should have lunch
with them
309
00:14:31,188 --> 00:14:33,056
and then report back
and tell us
310
00:14:33,091 --> 00:14:35,223
every stupid, moronic thing
they said.
311
00:14:35,258 --> 00:14:37,654
Spy on them? That's bad.
312
00:14:37,689 --> 00:14:39,095
No! Look at us.
313
00:14:40,395 --> 00:14:43,000
Would we ever ask you
to do something bad?
314
00:14:43,035 --> 00:14:44,628
Uh...
315
00:14:47,270 --> 00:14:48,973
Okay.
Yes!
316
00:14:49,008 --> 00:14:51,008
Do you have a pink shirt
I can borrow?
317
00:14:51,043 --> 00:14:53,175
No!
Yes! What shade?
318
00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:55,507
Welcome to A.P. Calculus.
319
00:14:55,542 --> 00:15:00,743
Congratulations.
You know more math
than 85% of Americans.
320
00:15:00,778 --> 00:15:03,845
But you will not rest
on your laurels this year.
321
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,254
I plan to push you.
322
00:15:06,289 --> 00:15:07,651
So let's get started.
323
00:15:07,686 --> 00:15:10,786
Chapter One, "Limits
and Their Properties."
324
00:15:10,821 --> 00:15:12,326
What the heck are limits,
you say?
325
00:15:12,361 --> 00:15:13,855
If I write out the equation,
326
00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:16,891
"The limit as x approaches two
of [x + 1],"
327
00:15:16,926 --> 00:15:18,761
the function is what
we're taking the limit of.
328
00:15:18,796 --> 00:15:20,631
I don't expect you to know
how to do this yet.
329
00:15:20,666 --> 00:15:21,896
The limit equals three.
330
00:15:22,536 --> 00:15:24,074
That's right.
331
00:15:24,109 --> 00:15:25,537
Let's try another one.
332
00:15:25,572 --> 00:15:27,374
Find the value of k
333
00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:29,574
for which the following
limit exists.
334
00:15:29,609 --> 00:15:31,873
K equals negative three.
Damn, girl!
335
00:15:33,646 --> 00:15:34,909
Wow.
336
00:15:36,154 --> 00:15:38,748
Are you trying to make
the rest of us feel dumb?
337
00:15:38,783 --> 00:15:41,949
No, I... I'm not trying to.
It's just, uh, happening.
338
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:45,821
Oh, okay, it's like that.
All right, um, well...
339
00:15:46,890 --> 00:15:48,263
challenge accepted.
340
00:15:54,469 --> 00:15:55,897
[chuckles]
341
00:15:55,932 --> 00:15:57,965
♪ When I was nine ♪
342
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,571
♪ I fell in love ♪
343
00:15:59,606 --> 00:16:01,309
♪ This Peace Corps guy ♪
344
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,775
♪ I waited hours
Inside his tent with flowers ♪
345
00:16:05,810 --> 00:16:08,316
♪ Which made him laugh
Which made me cry ♪
346
00:16:08,351 --> 00:16:09,977
♪ By 13 I gave up trying ♪
347
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:13,123
♪ I decided I would be
A mathematician ♪
348
00:16:13,158 --> 00:16:14,751
♪ 'Cause math is real ♪
349
00:16:14,786 --> 00:16:16,687
♪ I memorized a lot of pi ♪
350
00:16:16,722 --> 00:16:19,327
♪ Because addition
And subtraction and division ♪
351
00:16:19,362 --> 00:16:22,825
♪ Would never make me feel
So stupid with love ♪
352
00:16:22,860 --> 00:16:24,266
♪ I didn't get it ♪
353
00:16:24,301 --> 00:16:27,368
♪ I didn't get it, somehow ♪
354
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:30,470
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
355
00:16:30,505 --> 00:16:34,441
♪ I didn't get it
I didn't get it till now ♪
356
00:16:35,774 --> 00:16:38,445
♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪
357
00:16:40,009 --> 00:16:42,680
♪ So thank you, math
For being there ♪
358
00:16:42,715 --> 00:16:44,814
♪ To bring me joy ♪
359
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,982
♪ And thank you, math ♪
360
00:16:48,017 --> 00:16:51,161
♪ 'Cause now you've brought me
This cute boy ♪
361
00:16:51,196 --> 00:16:53,460
♪ He's like someone from TV ♪
362
00:16:53,495 --> 00:16:56,529
♪ He's like that guy
Who gives out roses
To those women ♪
363
00:16:56,564 --> 00:16:58,300
♪ His clothes, his grooming ♪
364
00:16:58,335 --> 00:17:00,401
♪ And he's a foot away from me ♪
365
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,799
♪ With swoopy hair
And shiny eyes
That I could swim in ♪
366
00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:04,339
♪ He's live and in the room! ♪
367
00:17:04,374 --> 00:17:05,967
[sniffs]
368
00:17:06,002 --> 00:17:07,969
[Ms. Norbury lecturing]
[exhales deeply]
369
00:17:10,941 --> 00:17:14,547
♪ And I'm stupid with love
I want to get it ♪
370
00:17:14,582 --> 00:17:17,715
[group vocalizing]
♪ I want to get it, but how? ♪
371
00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:21,015
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
372
00:17:21,050 --> 00:17:25,294
♪ I want to get it
I didn't get it till now ♪
373
00:17:25,329 --> 00:17:28,429
[vocalizing continues]
[indistinct chattering]
374
00:17:30,961 --> 00:17:32,730
[laughing]
375
00:17:33,964 --> 00:17:37,108
♪ I'm astounded and nonplussed ♪
376
00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:40,067
♪ I am filled with calcu-lust ♪
377
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:43,279
♪ Does this guy work out?
He must ♪
378
00:17:43,314 --> 00:17:46,381
♪ All sweaty at the gym ♪
379
00:17:46,416 --> 00:17:49,483
♪ Could that image
Be more hot? ♪
380
00:17:49,518 --> 00:17:52,486
♪ Let me just enjoy
That thought ♪
381
00:17:52,521 --> 00:17:55,456
♪ School was rough
But now it's not ♪
382
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,755
♪ 'Cause now there's him ♪
383
00:17:57,790 --> 00:18:01,231
♪ Stupid with love
I didn't get it ♪
384
00:18:01,266 --> 00:18:04,366
♪ I didn't get it, somehow ♪
385
00:18:04,401 --> 00:18:07,435
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
386
00:18:07,470 --> 00:18:10,834
♪ I didn't get it
I didn't get it till now ♪
387
00:18:10,869 --> 00:18:12,341
[horn blares]
[screams]
388
00:18:14,312 --> 00:18:16,070
[Cady panting]
389
00:18:17,447 --> 00:18:18,413
I'm okay.
390
00:18:18,448 --> 00:18:19,876
[panting]
391
00:18:24,586 --> 00:18:27,290
Mom, you can't
pick me up like this.
392
00:18:27,325 --> 00:18:28,555
It's embarrassing.
393
00:18:31,461 --> 00:18:33,230
You can't wear a tank top
two days in a row
394
00:18:33,265 --> 00:18:36,431
and you can
only wear your hair
in a ponytail once a week.
395
00:18:36,466 --> 00:18:38,059
So I guess
you've chosen today.
396
00:18:38,094 --> 00:18:42,063
Oh! And we only wear sweats
or track pants on Fridays.
397
00:18:42,098 --> 00:18:43,900
If you break any
of these rules,
398
00:18:43,935 --> 00:18:45,176
you can't sit with us.
399
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,068
I mean, not just you,
like, any of us.
400
00:18:47,103 --> 00:18:48,740
Like if I wore sweatpants today,
401
00:18:48,775 --> 00:18:50,137
I'd have to
go sit over there...
402
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:51,809
[whispering]
...with the Art Freaks.
403
00:18:52,812 --> 00:18:53,877
[Damian chuckles]
404
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,077
That seems fair.
405
00:18:56,112 --> 00:18:58,618
120 calories
and 48 calories from fat.
406
00:18:58,653 --> 00:18:59,685
What percent is that?
407
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,149
Um, 48 into 120?
408
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:03,887
There's no way of knowing.
409
00:19:04,791 --> 00:19:06,461
It's 40%.
410
00:19:06,496 --> 00:19:07,990
42 over 120
411
00:19:08,025 --> 00:19:10,124
equals x over 100,
and then you cross-multiply
412
00:19:10,159 --> 00:19:11,664
to get the value of x.
413
00:19:12,337 --> 00:19:14,205
Hmm.
414
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,965
Whatever.
Um, I'm getting cheese fries.
415
00:19:20,279 --> 00:19:22,169
[chuckles]
416
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,974
So, have you seen any guys
you think are cute yet?
417
00:19:26,615 --> 00:19:30,782
Oh, um, well, actually,
there's this one guy
in my Calculus class.
418
00:19:30,817 --> 00:19:34,819
Ooh, a senior! Who is it?
Uh, Aaron Samuels.
419
00:19:34,854 --> 00:19:37,987
You can't like Aaron Samuels!
That is Regina's ex-boyfriend!
No. No. Bad. Bad. Danger.
420
00:19:39,430 --> 00:19:42,189
Wait. I thought she
dumped him for Shane Oman.
421
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,564
Irregardless!
422
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:45,027
Ex-boyfriends are
off-limits for friends.
423
00:19:45,062 --> 00:19:46,699
That's just, like,
the rules of feminism!
424
00:19:50,969 --> 00:19:52,199
Don't worry.
425
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:54,674
I will never tell Regina
what you said.
426
00:19:54,709 --> 00:19:56,544
I am very trustworthy.
427
00:19:56,579 --> 00:19:58,975
Karen's had sex with 11 people
and I've never told anyone.
428
00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:01,780
Yo, Golf Bird.
429
00:20:01,815 --> 00:20:04,013
Those fractions were tight.
What?
430
00:20:04,048 --> 00:20:07,324
"Caddy Heron." "Golf Bird."
431
00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,018
I don't like it.
I don't get it.
432
00:20:09,053 --> 00:20:12,021
I'm Kevin Ganatra.
I'm from your Calc class.
433
00:20:13,189 --> 00:20:14,991
I sit diagonally from you.
434
00:20:15,026 --> 00:20:17,191
I'm also captain
of the North Shore Mathletes.
435
00:20:17,226 --> 00:20:21,129
We're a very chill, dope,
extracurricular option.
436
00:20:21,164 --> 00:20:22,702
You know,
serve your college rezzy
437
00:20:22,737 --> 00:20:24,836
and your thirst for knolly.
Don't say "knolly."
438
00:20:24,871 --> 00:20:27,003
Also Ms. Norbury says
we get twice as much funding
439
00:20:27,038 --> 00:20:29,236
if we had a girl on the team,
so think about joining,
440
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:31,007
because we'd love
to get jackets.
441
00:20:31,042 --> 00:20:32,910
Okay, yeah, sure.
Where do I...
442
00:20:32,945 --> 00:20:34,142
No, no,
you cannot join Mathletes.
443
00:20:34,177 --> 00:20:35,418
That is, like,
socially ruinous!
444
00:20:35,453 --> 00:20:38,355
Ew, no.
Why is he by our table?
445
00:20:38,390 --> 00:20:39,851
I can hear you, by the way.
446
00:20:39,886 --> 00:20:41,424
Can you hear me now?
447
00:20:41,459 --> 00:20:43,888
[softly] Bye.
448
00:20:43,923 --> 00:20:47,122
Uh, anyways,
uh, just take my card
in case you change your mind?
449
00:20:50,534 --> 00:20:51,566
[sighs]
450
00:20:53,768 --> 00:20:56,472
God, you are so lucky
you have us to guide you.
451
00:20:56,507 --> 00:20:58,705
What are you doing
after school today?
452
00:20:58,740 --> 00:21:00,443
I want to give you some shoes.
453
00:21:00,478 --> 00:21:02,236
[chuckles]
[school bell rings]
454
00:21:03,074 --> 00:21:04,744
What kind of shoes?
455
00:21:04,779 --> 00:21:07,450
I have no idea. I guess, um,
something fancier than these?
456
00:21:07,980 --> 00:21:09,980
She's so rude!
457
00:21:10,015 --> 00:21:12,620
I mean, maybe
she's just being generous.
458
00:21:12,655 --> 00:21:14,820
Maybe we can have
a commensal relationship.
459
00:21:14,855 --> 00:21:17,185
What is that? I want one.
460
00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:20,925
[chuckles] So, in nature,
okay, so lions,
461
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,795
they're the apex predators, right?
462
00:21:22,830 --> 00:21:23,961
They're the top
of the food chain.
463
00:21:23,996 --> 00:21:26,370
They can kill anything
they want.
464
00:21:26,405 --> 00:21:28,570
But if you're a hyena, well,
465
00:21:28,605 --> 00:21:31,639
then you follow them around
and you eat the carcasses
that they leave behind.
466
00:21:31,674 --> 00:21:33,300
Whoa.
Gretchen Wieners is a hyena.
467
00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:34,411
Got it.
[chuckles]
468
00:21:34,446 --> 00:21:36,413
No, I did not say that.
469
00:21:36,448 --> 00:21:38,646
I'm just saying, if you're
on Regina's good side...
470
00:21:38,681 --> 00:21:40,109
Whoa, Caddy! No, no, no.
471
00:21:40,144 --> 00:21:42,309
Regina George does not have
a good side, okay?
472
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:43,948
If you go over
to her house today...
473
00:21:43,983 --> 00:21:45,180
I am not joking,
474
00:21:46,117 --> 00:21:47,622
be careful.
475
00:21:49,989 --> 00:21:51,989
[roaring, chittering]
476
00:21:58,470 --> 00:22:00,437
[Janis]
♪ Don't be fooled by the pink ♪
477
00:22:00,472 --> 00:22:02,472
♪ She is not playing dolls ♪
478
00:22:02,507 --> 00:22:06,443
♪ She is stalking the halls
For the thrill of the kill ♪
479
00:22:06,478 --> 00:22:10,447
♪ Every person in school
Is aware of her stare ♪
480
00:22:10,482 --> 00:22:14,451
♪ When she tosses her hair
They go perfectly still ♪
481
00:22:14,486 --> 00:22:18,455
♪ All their eyes say
"Don't attack me" ♪
482
00:22:18,490 --> 00:22:22,459
♪ Watch them sweat
And pant and shake ♪
483
00:22:22,494 --> 00:22:26,826
♪ Every food chain
Has its acme ♪
484
00:22:26,861 --> 00:22:29,862
♪ Regina George eats steak ♪
485
00:22:29,897 --> 00:22:34,603
♪ She's the queen of beasts
She can smell your fear ♪
486
00:22:34,638 --> 00:22:38,409
♪ In this biosphere
She's the apex predator ♪
487
00:22:38,444 --> 00:22:40,510
[Damian] ♪ Like a lioness ♪
488
00:22:40,545 --> 00:22:44,272
♪ Only with less fur
Do not mess with her ♪
489
00:22:44,307 --> 00:22:46,175
[Janis]
♪ She's the apex predator ♪
490
00:22:48,883 --> 00:22:51,422
Jason is crotch-sitting
Taylor Wedell.
491
00:22:52,414 --> 00:22:54,458
Absolutely not.
492
00:22:54,493 --> 00:22:56,350
♪ At the watering hole ♪
493
00:22:56,385 --> 00:22:58,187
♪ See the girls
Who weren't nice ♪
494
00:22:58,222 --> 00:23:00,387
♪ Have to scatter like mice ♪
[chittering]
495
00:23:00,422 --> 00:23:02,664
♪ From a jungle cat ♪
496
00:23:02,699 --> 00:23:06,327
♪ And though Janis is great
She does not have this power ♪
497
00:23:06,362 --> 00:23:08,637
♪ People literally cower ♪
[roars]
498
00:23:08,672 --> 00:23:10,232
♪ Janis can't do that ♪
499
00:23:10,267 --> 00:23:14,511
♪ See her mark her territory ♪
500
00:23:14,546 --> 00:23:17,415
♪ As they follow in her train ♪
501
00:23:18,715 --> 00:23:22,882
♪ They were victims
In their stories ♪
502
00:23:22,917 --> 00:23:26,457
[Damian, Janis]
♪ Now they shake their mane ♪
503
00:23:26,492 --> 00:23:30,219
♪ She's the queen of beasts
And you're in her pride ♪
504
00:23:30,254 --> 00:23:32,287
♪ You have hitched a ride ♪
505
00:23:32,322 --> 00:23:34,597
♪ With the apex predator ♪
506
00:23:34,632 --> 00:23:38,601
♪ And it's kind of fun
When she bares her claws ♪
507
00:23:38,636 --> 00:23:40,394
[Damian, Janis] ♪ You think
You're safe because ♪
508
00:23:40,429 --> 00:23:42,165
♪ You're with
The apex predator ♪
509
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:44,398
Do you think she'll be mad
if I like Aaron?
510
00:23:44,433 --> 00:23:46,741
Samuels? Are you unwell?
You can't like
Aaron Samuels!
511
00:23:46,776 --> 00:23:47,841
Okay, okay!
512
00:23:47,876 --> 00:23:49,876
I'll be careful. I promise.
513
00:23:52,584 --> 00:23:56,212
[Damian] ♪ Do not think
You'll be protected ♪
514
00:23:56,247 --> 00:24:00,084
♪ By your new exotic pet ♪
515
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:04,451
♪ Not a chance
If she suspected ♪
516
00:24:04,486 --> 00:24:07,960
♪ You were any kind
Of reproductive threat ♪
517
00:24:07,995 --> 00:24:10,061
♪ But she doesn't know yet ♪
518
00:24:10,096 --> 00:24:12,426
♪ She doesn't know yet! ♪
519
00:24:12,461 --> 00:24:16,540
♪ She's the queen of beasts
At this beastly school ♪
520
00:24:16,575 --> 00:24:20,269
♪ Got to keep things cool
With the apex predator! ♪
521
00:24:30,116 --> 00:24:31,181
Get in, loser.
522
00:24:34,483 --> 00:24:36,758
♪ With the apex predator! ♪
523
00:24:36,793 --> 00:24:40,795
♪ Will she braid your hair?
Will she eat your heart? ♪
524
00:24:40,830 --> 00:24:44,832
♪ How can you outsmart ♪
525
00:24:44,867 --> 00:24:46,603
[Damian] ♪ The apex predator? ♪
526
00:24:49,003 --> 00:24:50,607
♪ The apex predator? ♪
527
00:24:50,642 --> 00:24:52,543
[Damian, Janis]
♪ The apex predator! ♪
528
00:24:53,502 --> 00:24:56,712
You guys! Hey...
529
00:24:57,682 --> 00:25:00,276
Happy hump day, besties!
530
00:25:00,311 --> 00:25:03,147
Hi, Mrs. George.
531
00:25:03,182 --> 00:25:04,654
This is Cady.
532
00:25:04,689 --> 00:25:06,623
I just moved here.
From Kenya.
533
00:25:06,658 --> 00:25:11,122
Welcome, Cady from Kenya.
[chuckles]
534
00:25:11,157 --> 00:25:14,994
We haven't had any new meat
in our little lady taco
in so long.
535
00:25:15,029 --> 00:25:16,259
Mom, go make snacks.
536
00:25:16,294 --> 00:25:18,063
For sure.
For sure, Regina, yeah.
537
00:25:18,098 --> 00:25:19,768
Thank you so much,
Mrs. George.
538
00:25:19,803 --> 00:25:21,704
You have a beautiful mansion.
539
00:25:21,739 --> 00:25:25,499
Just slay, queens.
Slay like no one's watching.
540
00:25:25,534 --> 00:25:28,304
But everybody's watching.
Because you're gorgeous!
541
00:25:33,476 --> 00:25:35,619
Wow, your room is really nice.
542
00:25:35,654 --> 00:25:39,150
Thanks.
It used to be my parents',
but I made them trade me.
543
00:25:47,127 --> 00:25:50,524
Cady! I made you
a Spotify playlist
544
00:25:50,559 --> 00:25:52,801
to help you catch up
on culture.
545
00:25:52,836 --> 00:25:56,068
Karen, come here.
I want to fix your eyebrows.
546
00:25:56,103 --> 00:25:57,201
Can I still have two?
547
00:25:57,236 --> 00:25:59,709
Gretchen, move.
Sorry.
548
00:25:59,744 --> 00:26:02,470
God, my hips are so wide.
549
00:26:02,505 --> 00:26:04,109
God, my pores are huge!
550
00:26:04,144 --> 00:26:06,078
I want skin like Cady's.
551
00:26:07,147 --> 00:26:09,213
My B.O. smells like crayons.
552
00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:15,186
Um, me, too! I'm ugly, too.
553
00:26:15,221 --> 00:26:17,661
[chuckles]
Oh, my God, I love her.
She's like a Martian.
554
00:26:17,696 --> 00:26:19,553
Who's hungry?
555
00:26:19,588 --> 00:26:21,027
Now, Cady,
556
00:26:21,062 --> 00:26:24,558
this is a very American snack
called guac.
557
00:26:24,593 --> 00:26:26,934
Is it okay or are you vegan?
558
00:26:26,969 --> 00:26:28,969
Oh, no, I'm an omnivore.
559
00:26:29,004 --> 00:26:31,037
Yum-yum-yum. Okay, come here!
560
00:26:31,072 --> 00:26:33,908
I need you
to tell me everything.
561
00:26:33,943 --> 00:26:37,010
Have you seen any boys
that you think are cute yet?
562
00:26:37,045 --> 00:26:40,310
Oh. Uh, well, I...
[Gretchen coughing]
563
00:26:40,345 --> 00:26:41,949
No.
564
00:26:41,984 --> 00:26:44,413
Well, don't worry.
It's just a matter of time.
565
00:26:44,448 --> 00:26:48,219
You know, I always say
that this school district
has the highest taxes,
566
00:26:48,254 --> 00:26:50,859
but the hottest boys.
That's disgusting.
567
00:26:50,894 --> 00:26:53,356
Oh, Regina!
You're never gonna believe
what I found
568
00:26:53,391 --> 00:26:54,764
in your closet this morning.
569
00:26:54,799 --> 00:26:56,359
Why were you in my closet?
570
00:26:56,394 --> 00:26:58,229
Because I'm doing
that Japanese organizing thing
571
00:26:58,264 --> 00:27:00,902
where you take a little nap
in the closet.
572
00:27:00,937 --> 00:27:02,398
[Mrs. George gasps]
573
00:27:02,433 --> 00:27:05,566
I found your Burn Book!
574
00:27:05,601 --> 00:27:08,470
Cady, this is just, like,
the funniest thing
575
00:27:08,505 --> 00:27:09,944
that the girls used to do.
576
00:27:09,979 --> 00:27:11,407
Please leave.
[Mrs. George] You got it, baby.
577
00:27:11,442 --> 00:27:13,178
But, girls, I'm gonna be
right downstairs
578
00:27:13,213 --> 00:27:15,081
if you need to talk to me
about anything.
579
00:27:15,116 --> 00:27:19,118
I mean it. Deep stuff
or boy troubles or blackheads
580
00:27:19,153 --> 00:27:21,450
or alcohol poisoning.
581
00:27:21,485 --> 00:27:23,617
You know, I have
been through it all.
582
00:27:23,652 --> 00:27:26,290
Honey, I am not a regular mom.
583
00:27:26,325 --> 00:27:29,260
I'm @coolmom with six O's.
584
00:27:29,295 --> 00:27:31,427
Hashtag AgingHotly. Hashtag...
585
00:27:31,462 --> 00:27:33,462
Get out.
[Mrs. George] Okay.
586
00:27:33,497 --> 00:27:35,937
Girls, just have so much fun.
587
00:27:35,972 --> 00:27:40,304
[chuckles] Remember,
these are the best days
of your life.
588
00:27:41,472 --> 00:27:43,538
It does not get better.
589
00:27:46,312 --> 00:27:49,720
I remember this.
It was the week they took
all of our phones away.
590
00:27:52,318 --> 00:27:55,451
[Gretchen] "Trang Pham is
a grotsky little byotch."
591
00:27:55,486 --> 00:27:56,925
[laughs]
Still true.
592
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,961
"Dawn Schweitzer
is a horny shrimp."
593
00:27:59,996 --> 00:28:01,655
Well, she's taller now.
594
00:28:01,690 --> 00:28:05,395
[Gretchen] Oh, my God.
"Janis 'Imi'ike, Pyro-Lez."
595
00:28:05,430 --> 00:28:06,869
I forgot about that.
596
00:28:06,904 --> 00:28:08,497
Oh, my God, she is so weird.
597
00:28:08,532 --> 00:28:10,532
She is? She's in my homeroom.
598
00:28:10,567 --> 00:28:13,568
Oh, well, watch out,
'cause she's violent.
599
00:28:13,603 --> 00:28:15,812
Yeah, people think
she's really good at art,
600
00:28:15,847 --> 00:28:17,979
but it's just 'cause
she had to do art therapy.
601
00:28:18,014 --> 00:28:20,674
Yeah, Regina tried
to be friends with her
in middle school.
602
00:28:20,709 --> 00:28:22,214
Oh, my God,
she was obsessed with me.
603
00:28:22,249 --> 00:28:24,645
And then when I got
my first boyfriend, Kyle,
604
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,680
she lit my backpack on fire.
605
00:28:28,255 --> 00:28:29,650
[Karen] Who's that?
606
00:28:29,685 --> 00:28:32,026
[Regina] Mmm...
That's that kid Damian.
607
00:28:32,061 --> 00:28:34,490
Oh, yeah, he's almost too gay
to function.
608
00:28:34,525 --> 00:28:36,195
[laughing]
609
00:28:36,230 --> 00:28:38,164
No, I didn't... I didn't
mean that in a bad way.
610
00:28:38,199 --> 00:28:40,265
No, that's funny.
Put that in there.
611
00:28:40,300 --> 00:28:41,398
Um...
612
00:28:42,599 --> 00:28:44,500
No, I don't...
Oh! No, no.
613
00:28:44,535 --> 00:28:46,634
Don't worry, Cady,
we only write stuff
about randos in here.
614
00:28:46,669 --> 00:28:49,879
Friends are, like,
very deserving of respect.
615
00:28:49,914 --> 00:28:52,376
Gretchen... she gets it.
616
00:28:53,082 --> 00:28:54,147
Go find the shoes.
617
00:28:54,952 --> 00:28:56,248
[chuckles]
618
00:28:56,283 --> 00:28:58,580
The shoes we're giving
to Cady.
619
00:28:58,615 --> 00:29:01,990
Oh, my God, you are literally
being so annoying.
620
00:29:03,752 --> 00:29:04,619
Sorry.
621
00:29:14,367 --> 00:29:15,663
Are you okay?
622
00:29:15,698 --> 00:29:17,731
No... uh, totally.
623
00:29:17,766 --> 00:29:19,634
Regina's just joking.
624
00:29:19,669 --> 00:29:21,438
These are cute. Try 'em.
625
00:29:23,706 --> 00:29:26,212
Once I processed that Regina's
love language is anger,
626
00:29:26,247 --> 00:29:27,312
it's been much...
627
00:29:28,678 --> 00:29:31,118
Aw.
628
00:29:31,153 --> 00:29:33,989
It's the music box
I gave Regina
that my abuelito gave me.
629
00:29:36,928 --> 00:29:39,258
[music box playing gentle music]
630
00:29:43,759 --> 00:29:46,430
♪ Tell me
What's wrong with me ♪
631
00:29:46,465 --> 00:29:49,004
♪ My body, face, my hair ♪
632
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,767
♪ Tell me all my many faults ♪
633
00:29:53,802 --> 00:29:55,637
♪ Tell me like you care ♪
634
00:29:55,672 --> 00:29:58,981
♪ When we both
Know you're cruel ♪
635
00:29:59,016 --> 00:30:02,314
♪ And we both know
You're right ♪
636
00:30:02,349 --> 00:30:05,581
♪ I could listen to you ♪
637
00:30:05,616 --> 00:30:08,683
♪ Like a fool all night ♪
638
00:30:08,718 --> 00:30:11,785
♪ What's wrong with me? ♪
639
00:30:11,820 --> 00:30:14,821
♪ How I speak?
How I dress? ♪
640
00:30:14,856 --> 00:30:18,363
♪ What's wrong with me? ♪
641
00:30:18,398 --> 00:30:21,938
♪ You keep me guessing ♪
642
00:30:21,973 --> 00:30:27,108
♪ Mama called me "beautiful"
Don't believe her anymore ♪
643
00:30:27,143 --> 00:30:30,639
♪ Now I'm listening to you ♪
644
00:30:30,674 --> 00:30:33,983
♪ What do I do that for? ♪
645
00:30:34,018 --> 00:30:39,890
♪ Please don't ignore me ♪
646
00:30:40,783 --> 00:30:43,256
[humming]
647
00:30:45,095 --> 00:30:46,325
[Regina] Gretchen!
648
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:47,964
What are you doing in there?
649
00:30:47,999 --> 00:30:49,493
I'm... I'm gonna go.
650
00:30:49,528 --> 00:30:51,693
Yep. Be right there!
651
00:30:54,005 --> 00:30:56,698
[cranking music box]
[gentle music resumes]
652
00:30:56,733 --> 00:30:58,975
♪ What's wrong with me?
What can I do? ♪
653
00:30:59,010 --> 00:31:01,703
♪ What's wrong with me?
Could it be you? ♪
654
00:31:01,738 --> 00:31:03,309
♪ It's probably me ♪
655
00:31:03,344 --> 00:31:06,147
♪ See that? You see? ♪
656
00:31:06,182 --> 00:31:09,315
♪ What's wrong with me? ♪
657
00:31:09,350 --> 00:31:11,680
[humming]
658
00:31:22,594 --> 00:31:25,166
They have this book,
this "Burn Book,"
659
00:31:25,201 --> 00:31:27,300
where they write mean things
about girls in our grade.
660
00:31:27,335 --> 00:31:29,434
Ooh, ooh! What does
it say about me?
661
00:31:30,272 --> 00:31:32,371
Um... you're not in it.
662
00:31:32,901 --> 00:31:34,340
Those bitches!
663
00:31:34,375 --> 00:31:35,902
What is this, by the way?
It's terrible.
664
00:31:35,937 --> 00:31:37,607
Oh, it's a Kälteen bar.
665
00:31:37,642 --> 00:31:39,840
Here, my mom used to give them
to elderly people in Kapedo
666
00:31:39,875 --> 00:31:42,117
to help them
gain weight.
Mmm.
667
00:31:42,152 --> 00:31:43,987
I can feel it working.
668
00:31:44,022 --> 00:31:46,418
We should, like, crush this up
and put it in Regina's food!
669
00:31:46,453 --> 00:31:47,914
[Cady] What?
Oh.
670
00:31:47,949 --> 00:31:49,487
No. No, no.
671
00:31:49,522 --> 00:31:51,357
I will keep having
lunch with them, that's it.
672
00:31:51,392 --> 00:31:54,525
Also, we feel bad
we yelled at you
673
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,230
about liking Aaron.
[groans]
674
00:31:56,265 --> 00:31:58,562
You should go
for what you want.
675
00:31:58,597 --> 00:32:00,894
Hetero allyship.
Oh, okay.
676
00:32:00,929 --> 00:32:03,699
[Cady] It's so dumb. I only
ever see him in Calc anyway.
677
00:32:03,734 --> 00:32:07,406
Oh. You're definitely
safe in Calc.
678
00:32:07,441 --> 00:32:09,276
Regina will never set foot
in there.
679
00:32:22,753 --> 00:32:24,819
New shoes?
Uh, yeah.
680
00:32:24,854 --> 00:32:26,557
Regina gave them to me.
681
00:32:26,592 --> 00:32:29,230
Huh. I didn't know
you guys were friends.
682
00:32:29,265 --> 00:32:31,067
[Ms. Norbury]
Okay, let's get back into it.
683
00:32:31,102 --> 00:32:32,761
Continuity.
Removable discont...
684
00:32:32,796 --> 00:32:34,103
Cady? Eyes up front, please.
685
00:32:35,469 --> 00:32:37,733
Let's get back
into where we were Thursday.
686
00:32:37,768 --> 00:32:39,801
Who was awake Thursday?
Who was still awake?
687
00:32:41,508 --> 00:32:43,376
[Cady] I like your jacket.
688
00:32:43,411 --> 00:32:44,740
Thanks, I made it.
689
00:32:44,775 --> 00:32:46,610
But why do you sew
on top of your drawings?
690
00:32:46,645 --> 00:32:49,481
It's... like the drawings
are facts
691
00:32:49,516 --> 00:32:50,911
and the threads are feelings.
692
00:32:50,946 --> 00:32:53,089
It's so cool. [chuckles]
693
00:32:55,654 --> 00:32:58,424
So, you talk to your man yet?
694
00:32:58,459 --> 00:33:00,195
[chuckles]
695
00:33:00,230 --> 00:33:02,131
[Cady] I mean, I don't even
know what to say to him.
696
00:33:02,166 --> 00:33:05,266
I always come off sounding
like a lunatic.
697
00:33:05,301 --> 00:33:07,202
Do you like gum?
Sure.
698
00:33:08,469 --> 00:33:10,964
Oh, I don't have any.
I was just...
699
00:33:10,999 --> 00:33:13,241
Oh. [chuckles lightly]
700
00:33:15,872 --> 00:33:19,775
[chuckles] What?
Why did you say that?
701
00:33:19,810 --> 00:33:23,152
Maybe just try to have
one successful interaction
per day?
702
00:33:26,157 --> 00:33:28,454
I like your shirt.
Thanks.
703
00:33:28,489 --> 00:33:30,687
It smells like sausage
from the last time I wore it.
704
00:33:32,130 --> 00:33:33,162
[both chuckle]
705
00:33:34,198 --> 00:33:36,022
Dear God, woman.
706
00:33:36,057 --> 00:33:39,399
Have you successfully been
a functioning human being
even once?
707
00:33:41,172 --> 00:33:44,668
On October 3rd,
he asked me what day it was.
708
00:33:44,703 --> 00:33:47,374
What day is it?
It's October 3rd.
709
00:33:47,409 --> 00:33:51,444
♪ October 3rd ♪
710
00:33:51,479 --> 00:33:53,083
That was two weeks ago.
711
00:33:54,449 --> 00:33:55,976
But today I kind of...
712
00:33:56,011 --> 00:33:57,318
I don't know,
I tried something
713
00:33:57,353 --> 00:34:00,189
and it just came to me
instinctively.
714
00:34:02,017 --> 00:34:03,522
I said I was lost.
715
00:34:03,557 --> 00:34:06,195
I'm totally lost.
Can you help me?
716
00:34:07,198 --> 00:34:08,692
But I wasn't lost.
717
00:34:08,727 --> 00:34:10,463
I knew exactly what
Ms. Norbury was talking about.
718
00:34:10,498 --> 00:34:14,060
[softly] It's the derivative
of the natural log function.
719
00:34:14,095 --> 00:34:16,766
You just take the reciprocal
of the ln.
720
00:34:18,473 --> 00:34:19,373
Thanks.
721
00:34:20,607 --> 00:34:22,673
You're so smart.
[chuckles]
722
00:34:24,776 --> 00:34:25,907
He was wrong.
723
00:34:25,942 --> 00:34:27,645
Wait, wait. Hold up.
724
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,581
Guys, pause!
Oh.
725
00:34:29,616 --> 00:34:30,648
[music stops]
726
00:34:32,388 --> 00:34:34,190
You pretended to be dumb
727
00:34:34,225 --> 00:34:36,720
so you could keep talking
to a guy?
728
00:34:36,755 --> 00:34:39,591
Uh... Yeah. It worked.
729
00:34:39,626 --> 00:34:41,428
'Cause that shit
always works, Caddy.
730
00:34:41,463 --> 00:34:43,056
It doesn't mean
that it's not evil.
731
00:34:43,091 --> 00:34:46,136
Fracking "works."
Red-lining "works."
732
00:34:46,171 --> 00:34:48,138
Gasoline and rags...
733
00:34:48,173 --> 00:34:50,569
Aren't you worried
Regina will eat your face
if she finds out?
734
00:34:50,604 --> 00:34:52,373
No, she won't find out.
735
00:34:52,408 --> 00:34:55,739
It's just my little
Calculus class secret.
736
00:34:55,774 --> 00:34:58,379
Oh, um...
737
00:34:58,414 --> 00:35:01,283
So its h prime of x
equals five.
738
00:35:01,318 --> 00:35:03,252
You just forgot
the Product Rule.
739
00:35:03,287 --> 00:35:04,979
I don't get any of this.
740
00:35:06,587 --> 00:35:07,685
Nice job, Cady.
741
00:35:07,720 --> 00:35:09,522
It sure seems like you get it.
742
00:35:11,152 --> 00:35:12,459
[school bell rings]
743
00:35:15,266 --> 00:35:19,961
Hey, my friend Chris is, uh,
having a Halloween party.
744
00:35:19,996 --> 00:35:21,666
Would you want
to come to that?
745
00:35:21,701 --> 00:35:24,097
It's like a costume party.
People get pretty into it.
746
00:35:24,132 --> 00:35:25,868
Grool.
747
00:35:25,903 --> 00:35:28,772
I meant to say "great," and
then I started to say "cool."
748
00:35:28,807 --> 00:35:29,971
Okay.
749
00:35:30,677 --> 00:35:31,874
Grool.
750
00:35:34,384 --> 00:35:35,647
[chuckles]
751
00:35:35,682 --> 00:35:36,846
[dings]
752
00:35:37,519 --> 00:35:38,881
Hi.
753
00:35:38,916 --> 00:35:40,421
♪ If I could change the world ♪
754
00:35:40,456 --> 00:35:44,491
♪ I'd make it Halloween ♪
755
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,495
♪ Every single day ♪
756
00:35:48,530 --> 00:35:51,993
♪ And also have world peace ♪
757
00:35:52,028 --> 00:35:55,128
♪ Maybe world peace
Should be first ♪
758
00:35:55,163 --> 00:35:57,801
♪ World peace
And then Halloween ♪
759
00:35:57,836 --> 00:35:59,275
Wait, let me start over.
760
00:36:01,543 --> 00:36:02,443
[pings]
761
00:36:02,478 --> 00:36:03,774
Hi.
762
00:36:03,809 --> 00:36:05,171
♪ If I could change the world ♪
763
00:36:05,206 --> 00:36:09,648
♪ I'd make us have world peace ♪
764
00:36:09,683 --> 00:36:13,586
♪ And also Halloween ♪
765
00:36:13,621 --> 00:36:16,017
♪ Every single day ♪
766
00:36:16,052 --> 00:36:17,656
♪ On Halloween ♪
767
00:36:17,691 --> 00:36:21,693
♪ You can pretend
To be someone else ♪
768
00:36:21,728 --> 00:36:24,465
♪ It's like the Internet ♪
769
00:36:24,500 --> 00:36:30,471
♪ Only in person
And with candy ♪
770
00:36:30,506 --> 00:36:33,540
Wait. Mama,
use the back camera.
771
00:36:33,575 --> 00:36:37,104
It's prettier 'cause science.
772
00:36:37,139 --> 00:36:38,941
♪ When you are
The hot one ♪
773
00:36:38,976 --> 00:36:40,712
♪ It's a full-time gig ♪
774
00:36:40,747 --> 00:36:43,814
♪ Lookin' like what people
Want to see ♪
775
00:36:43,849 --> 00:36:47,620
♪ Once a year I'm not
I dress up and dream big ♪
776
00:36:47,655 --> 00:36:49,820
♪ Disguised as someone else
Who is not me ♪
777
00:36:49,855 --> 00:36:51,426
♪ But is still hot! ♪
778
00:36:51,461 --> 00:36:52,724
♪ I can be ♪
779
00:36:52,759 --> 00:36:55,331
♪ Who I want to be and sexy! ♪
780
00:36:55,366 --> 00:36:58,697
♪ I can be
Who I want to be and hot! ♪
781
00:36:58,732 --> 00:37:02,404
♪ Don't like who you are
Then hit that costume shop ♪
782
00:37:02,439 --> 00:37:06,199
♪ Rock a new
And different sexy look ♪
783
00:37:06,234 --> 00:37:09,510
♪ Why be so downhearted?
Blast some trashy pop ♪
784
00:37:09,545 --> 00:37:12,810
♪ And drop it to this hot
And sexy hook ♪
785
00:37:12,845 --> 00:37:17,012
♪ I can be
Who I want to be and sexy! ♪
786
00:37:17,047 --> 00:37:20,587
♪ I can be
Who I want to be and hot! ♪
787
00:37:20,622 --> 00:37:23,722
♪ Be somebody new ♪
788
00:37:23,757 --> 00:37:27,891
♪ Do a total transformation ♪
789
00:37:27,926 --> 00:37:31,367
♪ Animal or mineral, too ♪
790
00:37:31,402 --> 00:37:35,437
♪ Or even vegetation! ♪
791
00:37:35,472 --> 00:37:37,197
I give you sexy corn.
792
00:37:37,232 --> 00:37:40,475
♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
793
00:37:40,510 --> 00:37:43,445
♪ And sexy! ♪
794
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:45,876
[upbeat dance music
playing over speakers]
795
00:37:49,112 --> 00:37:51,112
[teenagers scream]
[music stops]
796
00:37:54,216 --> 00:37:55,886
Why are you dressed so scary?
797
00:37:55,921 --> 00:37:57,250
It's Halloween.
798
00:37:57,285 --> 00:37:58,889
Cady,
if you don't dress slutty,
799
00:37:58,924 --> 00:38:00,594
that is slut-shaming us.
800
00:38:05,964 --> 00:38:09,438
Um, it's just,
like, traditionally,
801
00:38:09,473 --> 00:38:11,198
girls had to be witches
or clowns
802
00:38:11,233 --> 00:38:14,201
and we've worked really hard
to progress past that.
803
00:38:14,236 --> 00:38:16,005
[Cady] That makes sense.
804
00:38:18,482 --> 00:38:20,548
I'm gonna go find Aaron.
805
00:38:20,583 --> 00:38:21,615
Okay.
806
00:38:22,519 --> 00:38:23,980
[mouths]
807
00:38:24,015 --> 00:38:26,719
♪ A sexy Quint
From sexy Jaws ♪
808
00:38:26,754 --> 00:38:28,424
♪ Catching sexy sharks ♪
809
00:38:28,459 --> 00:38:31,988
♪ Sexy Eleanor Roosevelt
Or sexy Joan of Arc ♪
810
00:38:32,023 --> 00:38:35,761
♪ I can be a sexy pirate
Or a sexy ballet dancer ♪
811
00:38:35,796 --> 00:38:40,601
♪ I can be a sexy doctor
And cure some sexy cancer! ♪
812
00:38:40,636 --> 00:38:42,636
That's not right,
is it?
No.
813
00:38:43,705 --> 00:38:45,606
I can sexy cure some cancer?
814
00:38:45,641 --> 00:38:47,102
No.
815
00:38:47,137 --> 00:38:49,236
I can cure sex cancer!
816
00:38:49,271 --> 00:38:51,304
Sex cancer doesn't exist.
817
00:38:51,339 --> 00:38:53,614
[gasps] I did it.
818
00:38:53,649 --> 00:38:54,615
Dance break.
819
00:38:54,650 --> 00:38:56,111
[dubstep music playing]
820
00:38:56,685 --> 00:38:57,882
[vocalizing]
821
00:39:06,728 --> 00:39:08,497
[all] ♪ Happy Halloween! ♪
822
00:39:12,063 --> 00:39:15,966
♪ This is
Modern feminism talkin' ♪
823
00:39:16,001 --> 00:39:19,541
♪ Watch me as I run the world
In shoes I cannot walk in ♪
824
00:39:19,576 --> 00:39:22,973
♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
825
00:39:23,008 --> 00:39:26,614
♪ And sex... sex ♪
826
00:39:26,649 --> 00:39:30,717
♪ Sexy! ♪
827
00:39:32,182 --> 00:39:35,018
I'm a sexy mouse. Duh!
828
00:39:35,053 --> 00:39:36,888
[electronic music
playing over speakers]
829
00:39:36,923 --> 00:39:38,527
[teenagers chattering]
830
00:39:38,562 --> 00:39:40,023
Hey.
Hi.
831
00:39:40,058 --> 00:39:41,354
[Aaron] Cady!
832
00:39:41,389 --> 00:39:43,026
[Karen yelps]
Hi!
833
00:39:43,061 --> 00:39:45,358
[Karen] Ow.
Hey. [screams playfully]
834
00:39:45,393 --> 00:39:47,063
[chuckles]
I like your costume.
835
00:39:47,098 --> 00:39:48,966
Different
from everyone else's.
836
00:39:49,001 --> 00:39:51,837
[chuckles] I didn't know
I was supposed to...
837
00:39:51,872 --> 00:39:53,036
[both chuckle]
838
00:39:53,071 --> 00:39:54,741
I'm such a weird
foreign loser.
839
00:39:54,776 --> 00:39:56,369
No. It's great.
840
00:39:57,680 --> 00:39:58,910
You want a drink?
841
00:39:58,945 --> 00:40:00,978
Thanks.
Uh, do they have juice?
842
00:40:02,443 --> 00:40:04,245
I can check. Wait here.
843
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,888
I think you and Aaron
would be a really cute couple.
844
00:40:09,923 --> 00:40:11,219
Really?
Yeah.
845
00:40:11,254 --> 00:40:12,759
I just said so.
Don't be thirsty.
846
00:40:12,794 --> 00:40:15,993
You know, I could talk
to him for you. If you want.
847
00:40:16,028 --> 00:40:18,259
See if he likes you back.
848
00:40:18,294 --> 00:40:20,602
You would do that for me?
Mm-hmm.
849
00:40:20,637 --> 00:40:23,198
Trust me. I know exactly
how to play it.
850
00:40:26,907 --> 00:40:29,402
I need to talk to you.
Me?
851
00:40:29,437 --> 00:40:31,206
I thought you were done
talking to me
852
00:40:31,241 --> 00:40:32,944
when you started talking
to Shane last summer.
853
00:40:32,979 --> 00:40:36,277
Shut up. 'Cause you know
that homeschooled girl, Cady?
854
00:40:37,412 --> 00:40:38,917
Yeah, I invited her tonight.
855
00:40:40,250 --> 00:40:41,920
Yeah, well, be careful.
856
00:40:41,955 --> 00:40:43,658
'Cause she has
a huge crush on you.
857
00:40:43,693 --> 00:40:46,452
[laughs]
Really?
858
00:40:46,487 --> 00:40:48,058
Don't be gross.
859
00:40:48,698 --> 00:40:50,566
She's my friend and...
860
00:40:50,601 --> 00:40:54,295
[sighs] ...she's, like, really
inexperienced and, um...
861
00:41:00,006 --> 00:41:02,402
Wow, sorry.
862
00:41:02,437 --> 00:41:04,470
I didn't think this
would be so hard for me.
863
00:41:04,505 --> 00:41:05,746
What?
864
00:41:05,781 --> 00:41:07,275
I don't know,
I guess I just...
865
00:41:07,310 --> 00:41:10,476
just have, like, a lot
of, like, unresolved trauma
866
00:41:10,511 --> 00:41:12,247
from how things ended with us.
867
00:41:12,282 --> 00:41:13,754
Give me a break.
868
00:41:15,186 --> 00:41:16,251
[scoffs]
869
00:41:17,628 --> 00:41:18,660
Regina.
870
00:41:20,829 --> 00:41:22,631
Regina.
Leave me alone.
871
00:41:22,666 --> 00:41:24,567
G, why are you upset?
872
00:41:24,602 --> 00:41:25,799
Please.
873
00:41:25,834 --> 00:41:28,967
[Aaron] What do you mean,
please? G!
874
00:41:29,002 --> 00:41:31,200
[ominous intro music playing]
875
00:41:41,619 --> 00:41:44,620
[Regina] ♪ Yes, I look perfect ♪
876
00:41:44,655 --> 00:41:47,084
♪ Ice Queen
That's what you see ♪
877
00:41:47,119 --> 00:41:50,483
♪ It's what they all expect
From me ♪
878
00:41:50,518 --> 00:41:53,420
♪ But it's all show ♪
879
00:41:53,455 --> 00:41:56,258
♪ Face it, you used me ♪
880
00:41:56,293 --> 00:41:59,063
♪ You saw the sexy clothes ♪
881
00:41:59,098 --> 00:42:02,902
♪ My supermodel pose ♪
882
00:42:02,937 --> 00:42:05,201
♪ What did you know? ♪
883
00:42:05,236 --> 00:42:08,369
♪ Was I a game to you? ♪
884
00:42:08,404 --> 00:42:11,207
♪ Was I a way to be cool? ♪
885
00:42:11,242 --> 00:42:14,507
♪ I truly cared ♪
886
00:42:14,542 --> 00:42:17,345
♪ Was I the fool? ♪
887
00:42:17,380 --> 00:42:19,952
♪ It's fine for you ♪
888
00:42:19,987 --> 00:42:23,153
♪ It's fine to flirt ♪
889
00:42:23,188 --> 00:42:28,158
♪ It's fine ♪
890
00:42:28,193 --> 00:42:29,731
♪ Till someone gets hurt ♪
891
00:42:29,766 --> 00:42:31,733
[rustling]
892
00:42:35,596 --> 00:42:38,069
♪ Feel my heart beating? ♪
893
00:42:38,104 --> 00:42:41,204
♪ I'm just like her or you ♪
894
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:44,372
♪ People forget I'm human, too ♪
895
00:42:44,407 --> 00:42:46,539
♪ Yes, they do that ♪
896
00:42:47,850 --> 00:42:50,576
♪ This is performance ♪
897
00:42:50,611 --> 00:42:53,689
♪ This is all self-defense ♪
898
00:42:53,724 --> 00:42:56,824
♪ I thought you had the sense ♪
899
00:42:56,859 --> 00:42:59,354
♪ To see through that ♪
900
00:42:59,389 --> 00:43:02,258
♪ Was I too proud with you? ♪
901
00:43:02,293 --> 00:43:05,668
♪ Was I too cold
And forbidding? ♪
902
00:43:05,703 --> 00:43:08,869
♪ You chose her over me
Well ♪
903
00:43:08,904 --> 00:43:11,366
♪ Are you kidding? ♪
904
00:43:11,401 --> 00:43:13,940
♪ It's fine for you ♪
905
00:43:13,975 --> 00:43:16,305
♪ It's fine to flirt ♪
906
00:43:17,176 --> 00:43:22,047
♪ It's fine ♪
907
00:43:22,082 --> 00:43:24,082
♪ Till someone gets hurt ♪
908
00:43:24,117 --> 00:43:26,183
[intense rock music playing]
909
00:43:28,286 --> 00:43:33,553
♪ Till someone gets hurt! ♪
910
00:43:35,425 --> 00:43:37,095
♪ Poor little me ♪
911
00:43:37,130 --> 00:43:41,099
♪ I'm trapped
In this fabulous show ♪
912
00:43:41,134 --> 00:43:43,970
♪ You could set me free ♪
913
00:43:44,005 --> 00:43:48,777
♪ But if you're going, go ♪
914
00:43:51,276 --> 00:43:54,376
♪ It's fine for you ♪
915
00:43:54,411 --> 00:43:57,148
♪ It's fine to flirt ♪
916
00:43:57,183 --> 00:44:00,415
♪ And, God, you're hot! ♪
917
00:44:00,450 --> 00:44:03,385
♪ Why do you even
Wear a shirt? ♪
918
00:44:03,420 --> 00:44:07,422
♪ No, it's fine ♪
919
00:44:07,457 --> 00:44:09,556
♪ Damn, you're fine! ♪
920
00:44:09,591 --> 00:44:14,803
♪ And it's fine ♪
921
00:44:14,838 --> 00:44:16,101
♪ Till someone gets... ♪
922
00:44:16,136 --> 00:44:18,972
[gasps]
[intense outro music playing]
923
00:44:30,150 --> 00:44:32,447
[suspenseful music
playing over TV]
924
00:44:42,162 --> 00:44:43,194
[screams]
925
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:47,968
She took him back.
She took Aaron back.
926
00:44:48,003 --> 00:44:49,937
Of course she did.
927
00:44:49,972 --> 00:44:52,698
It's because Regina's
a life ruiner!
928
00:44:52,733 --> 00:44:54,304
When we were in sixth grade,
she told everybody
929
00:44:54,339 --> 00:44:55,877
that Janis was...
Damian!
930
00:44:55,912 --> 00:44:57,978
Okay. She does not need
to hear that right now.
931
00:44:58,013 --> 00:45:00,178
No, I know the story.
932
00:45:00,213 --> 00:45:02,851
You lit a fire 'cause Regina
got a boyfriend.
933
00:45:02,886 --> 00:45:04,446
[Damian] She said what?
934
00:45:04,481 --> 00:45:05,821
Oh, hell no.
935
00:45:05,856 --> 00:45:09,286
Damian...
No! The truth
will be told.
936
00:45:09,321 --> 00:45:10,518
Stay with me, Cady.
937
00:45:15,030 --> 00:45:18,427
Like all history,
this is emotionally layered
and culturally dense.
938
00:45:22,268 --> 00:45:24,873
Janis and Regina were
best friends in middle school.
939
00:45:24,908 --> 00:45:29,141
And at that time, females
expressed their identities
through collectible plushies.
940
00:45:29,176 --> 00:45:30,879
I don't know what those...
941
00:45:30,914 --> 00:45:35,180
It's these bastards.
And they were everywhere.
942
00:45:35,215 --> 00:45:38,744
Regina gave Janis a BFF set
for her birthday.
943
00:45:38,779 --> 00:45:41,021
Janis put a rainbow patch
on hers.
944
00:45:41,056 --> 00:45:42,858
This is how she came out
to her friend.
945
00:45:42,893 --> 00:45:44,288
And Regina put one
on hers, too,
946
00:45:44,323 --> 00:45:47,093
out of allyship because
she used to be human.
947
00:45:47,128 --> 00:45:52,065
Cut to eight months later,
Regina becomes obsessed
with this gross boy. Kyle!
948
00:45:52,100 --> 00:45:54,463
Your scale is
completely off.
Hush!
949
00:45:56,434 --> 00:45:58,698
One night, they were
all playing spin the bottle...
950
00:45:58,733 --> 00:46:01,701
And Regina was worried
that Kyle liked Karen more.
951
00:46:01,736 --> 00:46:05,078
So when she spun
and got Janis,
952
00:46:05,916 --> 00:46:07,443
Regina put on a little show.
953
00:46:10,019 --> 00:46:11,018
[dolls gasp]
954
00:46:11,053 --> 00:46:12,481
And Kyle was like "boing"!
955
00:46:12,516 --> 00:46:13,922
And Regina was like...
956
00:46:13,957 --> 00:46:15,352
[as Regina]
..."I knew she would let me!
957
00:46:15,387 --> 00:46:17,827
She's, like,
obsessed with me!"
958
00:46:17,862 --> 00:46:19,257
[in normal voice] Not okay.
959
00:46:19,292 --> 00:46:21,226
Please put this all back
in its box.
960
00:46:21,261 --> 00:46:23,063
They got into a huge fight.
961
00:46:23,098 --> 00:46:25,032
Regina started avoiding Janis
at school,
962
00:46:25,067 --> 00:46:26,902
but did she give back
that plush animal?
963
00:46:26,937 --> 00:46:29,762
Oh, no.
She took it everywhere.
964
00:46:29,797 --> 00:46:32,600
She named her "Sissy Liz"
and she made everyone say
965
00:46:32,635 --> 00:46:33,975
"good morning" to it
every day,
966
00:46:34,010 --> 00:46:35,372
and it was very weird
and boring.
967
00:46:35,407 --> 00:46:36,637
Fast forward.
968
00:46:36,672 --> 00:46:38,573
[Damian] One day in Science,
969
00:46:38,608 --> 00:46:41,279
Regina was making everyone
say hi to Sissy Liz.
970
00:46:41,314 --> 00:46:43,281
And Janis finally heard it.
971
00:46:43,316 --> 00:46:45,888
"Sissy Liz" was short
for "Obsessed Lesbian."
972
00:46:45,923 --> 00:46:48,990
Regina had been making fun
of Janis this entire time
973
00:46:49,025 --> 00:46:50,321
and everyone but her knew it.
974
00:46:51,357 --> 00:46:53,489
So, and this is regrettable...
975
00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:57,295
Janis took
her Bunsen burner...
976
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:01,827
and torched the doll.
977
00:47:01,862 --> 00:47:04,137
And Regina's backpack
caught on fire a little bit
978
00:47:04,172 --> 00:47:07,338
and Janis was kicked
out of school
for the remainder of the year.
979
00:47:07,373 --> 00:47:09,835
And the adults
didn't know why.
980
00:47:09,870 --> 00:47:12,211
Janis just seemed crazy.
981
00:47:14,578 --> 00:47:16,512
I'm really sorry
that happened.
982
00:47:18,483 --> 00:47:20,054
It's worse than my thing.
983
00:47:21,552 --> 00:47:23,255
Caddy, don't be sorry.
984
00:47:23,290 --> 00:47:26,621
Now you know Regina George
is not your friend.
985
00:47:26,656 --> 00:47:28,425
We are your friends.
986
00:47:28,460 --> 00:47:29,932
And we're gonna
make her pay.
987
00:47:31,793 --> 00:47:33,793
[backup singers singing]
988
00:47:33,828 --> 00:47:35,036
[Janis]
♪ You know what friends do? ♪
989
00:47:35,071 --> 00:47:37,038
♪ They got your back ♪
990
00:47:37,073 --> 00:47:39,975
♪ And they are fun
To be around ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
991
00:47:40,010 --> 00:47:42,175
♪ When someone hurts you
Then they attack ♪
992
00:47:42,210 --> 00:47:44,705
♪ And grind your foe
Into the ground! ♪
993
00:47:44,740 --> 00:47:46,608
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
994
00:47:46,643 --> 00:47:49,149
[Janis] ♪ Imagine a party
With dresses and cake ♪
995
00:47:49,184 --> 00:47:52,119
♪ And singing and dancing
And cake ♪
996
00:47:52,154 --> 00:47:55,485
♪ And there's a magic act
That saws Regina in half ♪
997
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:59,093
♪ And this time
It'll take ♪
[screaming]
998
00:47:59,128 --> 00:48:03,328
Now that's a party!
♪ It's a revenge party
A party that ends ♪
999
00:48:03,363 --> 00:48:05,561
♪ With somebody's head
On a spike ♪
1000
00:48:05,596 --> 00:48:09,532
♪ It's a revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
1001
00:48:09,567 --> 00:48:12,271
♪ It's like a party
With revenge
Is what it's like ♪
1002
00:48:13,769 --> 00:48:15,208
Caddy, in order
for this to work,
1003
00:48:15,243 --> 00:48:16,803
you need to act
like a huge phony.
1004
00:48:16,838 --> 00:48:18,277
Can you do it?
1005
00:48:18,312 --> 00:48:19,476
I... I think so.
1006
00:48:19,511 --> 00:48:21,346
Practice.
1007
00:48:21,381 --> 00:48:24,382
Regina wanted me to tell you
that she tried
to talk to Aaron,
1008
00:48:24,417 --> 00:48:27,583
but he just wanted her back,
and that's not Regina's fault.
1009
00:48:27,618 --> 00:48:29,321
Of course. Oh, my gosh.
1010
00:48:30,225 --> 00:48:31,686
Love ya. See you at lunch.
1011
00:48:31,721 --> 00:48:34,590
Perfect!
On to phase two.
1012
00:48:34,625 --> 00:48:36,999
♪ I'll bring
The glow sticks ♪
1013
00:48:37,034 --> 00:48:40,002
♪ I'll bring balloons
And we'll have
Chocolate ice cream cones ♪
1014
00:48:40,037 --> 00:48:41,729
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
1015
00:48:41,764 --> 00:48:44,237
♪ I'll be the DJ
Spinnin' the tunes ♪
1016
00:48:44,272 --> 00:48:47,306
♪ On a turntable made
Of her bones ♪
1017
00:48:47,341 --> 00:48:50,606
[Janis] ♪ We'll get a piñata
'Cause that would be fun ♪
1018
00:48:50,641 --> 00:48:52,179
♪ And play dress up
And Barbies ♪
1019
00:48:52,214 --> 00:48:53,807
♪ And tag ♪
[chainsaw whirring]
1020
00:48:53,842 --> 00:48:55,248
♪ And we'll roll on the grass ♪
1021
00:48:55,283 --> 00:48:57,085
♪ And stare up at the sun ♪
1022
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:59,945
♪ Then we'll stuff her remains
In a bag ♪
1023
00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:01,749
♪ And throw 'em in the river! ♪
1024
00:49:01,784 --> 00:49:05,060
[Janis] ♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪
1025
00:49:05,095 --> 00:49:07,755
♪ With entrails
All over the lawn ♪
1026
00:49:07,790 --> 00:49:11,033
[Damian, Janis]
♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
1027
00:49:11,068 --> 00:49:13,563
♪ And I end up with Aaron
When she's gone ♪
1028
00:49:13,598 --> 00:49:15,763
♪ Yes, bitch! ♪
1029
00:49:17,338 --> 00:49:19,701
I end up with Aaron
when she's gone.
1030
00:49:20,308 --> 00:49:21,637
Yes, bitch.
1031
00:49:26,446 --> 00:49:27,346
[gasps]
1032
00:49:31,187 --> 00:49:32,582
I think I need a tutor.
1033
00:49:32,617 --> 00:49:34,848
I could tutor you,
if you want.
1034
00:49:36,357 --> 00:49:38,423
♪ What's Regina doin'? ♪
1035
00:49:38,458 --> 00:49:39,820
♪ What's Regina wearin'? ♪
1036
00:49:39,855 --> 00:49:42,064
♪ Is she back with Aaron? ♪
1037
00:49:42,099 --> 00:49:45,826
♪ Regina! Regina!
She has everything
She gets everything ♪
1038
00:49:47,467 --> 00:49:49,269
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1039
00:49:50,272 --> 00:49:51,469
[Gretchen]
What is that?
1040
00:49:51,504 --> 00:49:53,141
Ugh, I'm so fat
and disgusting.
1041
00:49:53,176 --> 00:49:54,472
I'm not having anything
1042
00:49:54,507 --> 00:49:56,276
but Kälteen bars
until I lose weight.
1043
00:49:56,311 --> 00:49:57,838
Well, I need
to lose three pounds.
1044
00:49:57,873 --> 00:49:59,004
How many calories from fat?
1045
00:49:59,039 --> 00:50:00,280
Zero.
1046
00:50:00,315 --> 00:50:02,117
You cross-multiply x
over a thousand
1047
00:50:02,152 --> 00:50:03,943
and divide it by 0.5
because it's in kilograms.
1048
00:50:03,978 --> 00:50:06,517
Whatever.
Bring me a whole box.
1049
00:50:06,552 --> 00:50:08,684
No, um, bring me two.
1050
00:50:09,819 --> 00:50:11,654
[marching band music playing]
1051
00:50:15,726 --> 00:50:18,991
♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪
1052
00:50:19,026 --> 00:50:21,796
♪ With somebody crushed
And alone ♪
♪ And ugly-crying! ♪
1053
00:50:21,831 --> 00:50:24,997
♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
1054
00:50:25,032 --> 00:50:27,505
♪ It's like a party
With revenge
Is what we're throwin'! ♪
1055
00:50:27,540 --> 00:50:29,177
[screams]
1056
00:50:29,212 --> 00:50:30,706
[marching band
playing upbeat music]
1057
00:50:30,741 --> 00:50:34,006
[yelping]
[spectators clamor]
1058
00:50:38,650 --> 00:50:40,716
[mouthing]
1059
00:50:41,983 --> 00:50:44,357
[camera shutter clicking]
1060
00:50:44,392 --> 00:50:46,326
♪ What's Regina eating? ♪
1061
00:50:46,361 --> 00:50:48,097
♪ God, look at her figure ♪
1062
00:50:48,132 --> 00:50:50,858
♪ Did her boobs get bigger?
Regina! Regina! ♪
1063
00:50:50,893 --> 00:50:52,662
♪ She has everything! ♪
[camera shutter clicks]
1064
00:50:52,697 --> 00:50:54,862
♪ She gets everything! ♪
[camera shutter clicking]
1065
00:50:54,897 --> 00:50:57,403
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1066
00:51:01,442 --> 00:51:04,377
Six weeks and all we've done
is make Regina hotter
and revive the wet look.
1067
00:51:04,412 --> 00:51:06,313
We have to pivot.
1068
00:51:06,348 --> 00:51:08,909
If we can make
Gretchen Wieners think
that Regina is mad at her...
1069
00:51:08,944 --> 00:51:10,812
No, no, no.
Gretchen is fragile.
1070
00:51:10,847 --> 00:51:12,748
Exactly!
1071
00:51:12,783 --> 00:51:14,552
If we crack her open,
maybe she'll spill
something we can use.
1072
00:51:14,587 --> 00:51:16,422
[French teacher
clears throat]
1073
00:51:22,430 --> 00:51:24,397
♪ Party ♪
1074
00:51:24,432 --> 00:51:26,927
Hey, girl, you sending
any candy canes this year?
1075
00:51:26,962 --> 00:51:29,897
Oh. [chuckles]
I don't send them.
I just get them.
1076
00:51:31,439 --> 00:51:33,934
Um, stop pulling it down.
1077
00:51:33,969 --> 00:51:36,112
Your hair looks so sexy
pushed back.
1078
00:51:37,181 --> 00:51:38,906
Cady, would you
please tell him
1079
00:51:38,941 --> 00:51:41,007
that his hair looks sexy
pushed back?
1080
00:51:42,648 --> 00:51:44,681
Your hair looks sexy
pushed back.
1081
00:51:44,716 --> 00:51:45,748
Oh...
1082
00:51:51,327 --> 00:51:52,392
Thanks.
1083
00:51:56,332 --> 00:51:58,365
I'll, uh, see you in Calc.
1084
00:52:00,468 --> 00:52:03,205
♪ At every party
There might be a low ♪
1085
00:52:03,240 --> 00:52:06,802
♪ Where the energy dips ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
1086
00:52:06,837 --> 00:52:13,710
♪ You might be thinking
"It's late, we should go
And they ran out of chips" ♪
1087
00:52:13,745 --> 00:52:17,483
♪ No! I can't even watch
When she touches his hair ♪
1088
00:52:17,518 --> 00:52:20,189
♪ And I've watched a snake
Eat a cow ♪
1089
00:52:20,224 --> 00:52:23,819
♪ Regina needs to be toppled
Sorry, Gretchen, I swear ♪
1090
00:52:23,854 --> 00:52:26,954
♪ We'll get our party now! ♪
1091
00:52:26,989 --> 00:52:29,022
One candy cane, please!
1092
00:52:31,499 --> 00:52:34,929
♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪
1093
00:52:34,964 --> 00:52:37,129
♪ With lions in a Roman arena ♪
1094
00:52:37,164 --> 00:52:39,967
♪ She has everything!
She gets everything! ♪
1095
00:52:41,311 --> 00:52:43,102
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1096
00:52:43,137 --> 00:52:44,873
Ho, ho, ho!
1097
00:52:44,908 --> 00:52:47,139
Candy Cane Gram
for Shane Oman!
1098
00:52:47,174 --> 00:52:48,580
♪ She has everything! ♪
1099
00:52:48,615 --> 00:52:50,648
[Damian]
And one for Cady Heron.
1100
00:52:50,683 --> 00:52:52,012
♪ She gets everything! ♪
1101
00:52:52,047 --> 00:52:54,080
Four for Glenn Cocco?
1102
00:52:54,115 --> 00:52:55,983
You go, Glenn Cocco!
1103
00:52:56,018 --> 00:52:58,018
♪ Glenn Cocco!
Glenn Cocco! Glenn Cocco! ♪
1104
00:52:59,329 --> 00:53:02,990
And... none
for Gretchen Wieners, bye.
1105
00:53:03,729 --> 00:53:04,827
Who sent that?
1106
00:53:04,862 --> 00:53:06,125
Oh, it's from...
1107
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:08,270
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1108
00:53:08,305 --> 00:53:11,537
"Thanks for being
such a great best friend."
1109
00:53:11,572 --> 00:53:12,538
Aw.
1110
00:53:13,409 --> 00:53:14,672
Oh.
1111
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:16,905
Okay.
1112
00:53:18,381 --> 00:53:20,249
If you and Regina are
"best friends" now,
1113
00:53:20,284 --> 00:53:23,142
then you can be in charge of
keeping all her secrets, okay?
1114
00:53:23,177 --> 00:53:26,178
For example, she gave you
those high-heel shoes
just to make fun of you
1115
00:53:26,213 --> 00:53:29,258
because she knew
you wouldn't be able
to walk in them. Sorry!
1116
00:53:29,293 --> 00:53:32,118
Also, she says
she has a nose job,
1117
00:53:32,153 --> 00:53:33,691
but that's just to distract
from the fact
1118
00:53:33,726 --> 00:53:36,188
that she had one
of her ears moved!
1119
00:53:36,223 --> 00:53:38,894
Also, she totally cheats
on Aaron.
1120
00:53:38,929 --> 00:53:41,864
Yeah. Every Tuesday,
she says she has College Prep,
1121
00:53:41,899 --> 00:53:43,536
but really she's hooking up
with Shane Oman
1122
00:53:43,571 --> 00:53:45,373
in the third-floor
janitorial closet
1123
00:53:45,408 --> 00:53:48,200
on the bags of sawdust
that they use for barf!
1124
00:53:48,235 --> 00:53:50,378
[over cell phone]
And I never told anyone
1125
00:53:50,413 --> 00:53:52,578
because I'm such
a good friend!
1126
00:53:52,613 --> 00:53:54,547
[exclaims]
1127
00:53:54,582 --> 00:53:57,418
And I'm only telling you
because you're such
a good friend.
1128
00:54:04,251 --> 00:54:06,119
[Janis]
♪ It's a revenge party ♪
1129
00:54:06,154 --> 00:54:07,857
♪ A party that ends ♪
1130
00:54:07,892 --> 00:54:10,563
♪ With somebody's head
On a spike! ♪
1131
00:54:10,598 --> 00:54:13,599
[Damian, Janis]
♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
1132
00:54:13,634 --> 00:54:17,306
♪ It's like a party
With revenge
Is what it's like ♪
1133
00:54:36,283 --> 00:54:38,360
♪ A party with revenge
Is what it's like ♪
1134
00:54:39,561 --> 00:54:42,694
[Janis] ♪ A party with revenge ♪
1135
00:54:42,729 --> 00:54:46,797
[Damian] ♪ With revenge ♪
1136
00:54:46,832 --> 00:54:48,128
[Damian, Janis]
♪ Is what it's like! ♪
1137
00:54:55,940 --> 00:54:57,511
[school bell rings]
1138
00:55:00,846 --> 00:55:03,748
Hey, do you have time to go
over derivatives for a minute?
1139
00:55:04,487 --> 00:55:06,652
Oh, um... no, not today.
1140
00:55:09,316 --> 00:55:10,359
Cady?
1141
00:55:12,660 --> 00:55:14,495
Um...
1142
00:55:14,530 --> 00:55:16,827
You've failed
your last five quizzes.
Is everything okay?
1143
00:55:16,862 --> 00:55:19,467
I'm... I'm sorry.
I'll just try harder.
1144
00:55:19,502 --> 00:55:21,260
Okay, because
if you need extra help,
1145
00:55:21,295 --> 00:55:23,328
there's a Mathletes meeting
starting in a couple minutes.
1146
00:55:23,363 --> 00:55:25,671
I can't. I'm sorry.
I have to go
to my friend Regina's house.
1147
00:55:25,706 --> 00:55:27,739
We're doing a dance
in the talent show.
1148
00:55:27,774 --> 00:55:30,137
"Rockin' Around
the Pole"?
Yeah, how did you know?
1149
00:55:30,172 --> 00:55:32,106
They do it every year.
It's like a...
1150
00:55:32,141 --> 00:55:33,844
Tradition?
Recurring nightmare.
1151
00:55:35,045 --> 00:55:37,617
Okay, I could probably
get Kevin to tutor you.
1152
00:55:37,652 --> 00:55:39,553
Well, Aaron's tutoring me now,
so...
1153
00:55:39,588 --> 00:55:42,281
Oh, he's tutoring you?
Sure, okay, well,
1154
00:55:42,316 --> 00:55:44,657
let Aaron know that the weird
thing with your quizzes
1155
00:55:44,692 --> 00:55:47,858
is that all the work is right
and only the answers are wrong.
1156
00:55:47,893 --> 00:55:50,256
Huh.
Huh.
1157
00:55:50,291 --> 00:55:53,226
Cady, I am not gonna
stop pushing you,
because I'm a pusher.
1158
00:55:53,261 --> 00:55:55,470
And I know you're smarter
than this.
1159
00:55:55,505 --> 00:55:59,837
Maybe I should just push
your seat away from Aaron's.
1160
00:55:59,872 --> 00:56:02,807
Ugh! And she was like,
"I'm a pusher, Cady.
I'm a pusher."
1161
00:56:02,842 --> 00:56:05,172
Wait, what does she even mean,
she's a "pusher"?
1162
00:56:05,207 --> 00:56:09,649
Like a drug pusher?
I don't know.
She's so weird.
1163
00:56:09,684 --> 00:56:12,454
Let it all out, honey.
Put it in the book.
1164
00:56:15,184 --> 00:56:17,349
[shouts] Look at this thing!
1165
00:56:18,858 --> 00:56:21,958
I can't even see it.
It's sexy,
like a face breast.
1166
00:56:21,993 --> 00:56:25,533
It happens to me, too.
It's just the Kälteen bars
flushing your toxins.
1167
00:56:25,568 --> 00:56:27,029
Huh. Okay.
1168
00:56:27,064 --> 00:56:29,097
Well, this skin stuff
you gave me sucks!
1169
00:56:29,737 --> 00:56:31,066
Where did you get it?
1170
00:56:32,608 --> 00:56:34,102
[Damian chuckling]
1171
00:56:38,779 --> 00:56:39,778
[dings]
1172
00:56:40,517 --> 00:56:41,714
The Paris airport.
1173
00:56:41,749 --> 00:56:43,045
Oh, "the Paris airport."
1174
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:44,915
Well, it's garbage.
And so are you.
1175
00:56:47,755 --> 00:56:50,349
She's just grouchy
because Aaron
broke up with her.
1176
00:56:50,384 --> 00:56:51,889
He did?
1177
00:56:51,924 --> 00:56:53,462
Someone told him
about Shane.
1178
00:56:54,355 --> 00:56:56,025
Do you think it was Santa?
1179
00:56:57,127 --> 00:56:59,094
Oh...
1180
00:56:59,129 --> 00:57:01,899
Also,
all that she's been eating
are those Kälteen bars,
1181
00:57:01,934 --> 00:57:04,033
and I don't think she's pooped
in, like, two weeks.
1182
00:57:04,068 --> 00:57:05,672
Uh...
1183
00:57:05,707 --> 00:57:07,542
Hey, G, we've practiced
a bunch with Cady.
1184
00:57:07,577 --> 00:57:08,741
You want to run it once?
1185
00:57:08,776 --> 00:57:10,875
Why? I'm perfect every year.
1186
00:57:10,910 --> 00:57:12,338
Mm-hmm.
1187
00:57:12,373 --> 00:57:14,549
Yeah, but it's,
uh, Cady's first time
1188
00:57:14,584 --> 00:57:16,551
and there's a bunch
of traffic patterns...
1189
00:57:16,586 --> 00:57:19,411
Stop playing with
that stupid babyish book!
1190
00:57:19,446 --> 00:57:20,555
[yelps]
1191
00:57:22,086 --> 00:57:23,624
[button clicks]
1192
00:57:23,659 --> 00:57:24,757
[inhales deeply]
[piano music plays]
1193
00:57:24,792 --> 00:57:26,385
[singing in French]
1194
00:58:04,359 --> 00:58:06,568
[mic feedback]
Uh, that was
Damian Hubbard singing...
1195
00:58:06,603 --> 00:58:09,065
[Janis cheering]
...the iCarly theme song
1196
00:58:09,100 --> 00:58:10,704
in French for extra credit.
1197
00:58:10,739 --> 00:58:11,804
Yeah!
1198
00:58:13,434 --> 00:58:15,874
Our next act describes
their music
1199
00:58:15,909 --> 00:58:19,273
as "Like a sine wave,
they don't stop."
1200
00:58:19,308 --> 00:58:22,716
Please welcome Kevin G
and the Power of Three.
1201
00:58:22,751 --> 00:58:24,949
[applause]
[Kevin G] Uh. Yeah.
1202
00:58:24,984 --> 00:58:27,215
♪ All you ♪
1203
00:58:27,250 --> 00:58:29,382
♪ Suckah emcees
Ain't got nothin' on me ♪
1204
00:58:29,417 --> 00:58:31,692
♪ From my grades to my rhymes
You can't touch Kevin G ♪
1205
00:58:31,727 --> 00:58:32,957
♪ I'm a Mathlete ♪
1206
00:58:32,992 --> 00:58:34,926
♪ So good under pressure ♪
1207
00:58:34,961 --> 00:58:36,763
♪ I'ma find acute angles
To prioritize your pleasure ♪
1208
00:58:36,798 --> 00:58:39,128
♪ I'm a Model UN rep
Out in these streets ♪
1209
00:58:39,163 --> 00:58:41,361
♪ But I'm a overachiever
Under the sheets ♪
1210
00:58:41,396 --> 00:58:44,001
♪ She be like
"Uhhhh, Kevin G!" ♪
1211
00:58:44,036 --> 00:58:45,497
[principal] Inappropriate.
1212
00:58:45,532 --> 00:58:47,004
Kevin, we talked about this.
1213
00:58:47,039 --> 00:58:49,501
Well,
happy holidays, everybody.
1214
00:58:49,536 --> 00:58:51,679
[audience applauds, cheers]
1215
00:58:51,714 --> 00:58:54,209
[groans]
Why is this so tight?
1216
00:58:54,244 --> 00:58:55,980
You've had it
since the sixth grade.
1217
00:58:56,015 --> 00:58:58,015
You're probably maturing.
1218
00:58:58,050 --> 00:59:00,853
[Gretchen] Um, do you just,
like, want to run it one time
real quick?
1219
00:59:00,888 --> 00:59:04,186
Gretchen,
literally no one cares.
1220
00:59:04,221 --> 00:59:06,320
Mm-hmm. No, totally.
1221
00:59:06,355 --> 00:59:08,553
Um, do you just want
to run the acro?
1222
00:59:08,588 --> 00:59:10,731
Because none of us really does
gymnastics anymore
1223
00:59:10,766 --> 00:59:12,964
and when we made up this dance,
we all weighed, like, 70 pounds,
1224
00:59:12,999 --> 00:59:16,165
so maybe we should
just make sure everyone's
center of gravity is still...
1225
00:59:16,200 --> 00:59:17,331
Still what?
1226
00:59:18,565 --> 00:59:19,608
Nothing.
1227
00:59:19,643 --> 00:59:20,675
[muffled music playing]
1228
00:59:24,945 --> 00:59:26,912
[music ends]
[audience applauding]
1229
00:59:26,947 --> 00:59:30,685
[principal] Thank you,
Shelby and Timmy, for tapping.
1230
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:32,687
Also, if anyone finds
a retainer
1231
00:59:32,722 --> 00:59:35,987
in a bright aqua case,
that is mine.
1232
00:59:36,022 --> 00:59:37,483
Please return it.
1233
00:59:37,518 --> 00:59:39,595
My insurance won't cover
a replacement.
1234
00:59:40,895 --> 00:59:42,730
Karen, I can see your bra.
1235
00:59:42,765 --> 00:59:44,633
It's on purpose.
I'm going for a look.
1236
00:59:44,668 --> 00:59:46,492
[chuckles] Is it "girl
who slept with 11 people"?
1237
00:59:46,527 --> 00:59:47,702
'Cause you're nailing it.
1238
00:59:49,563 --> 00:59:52,531
I think your top is fetch.
Gretchen!
1239
00:59:52,566 --> 00:59:54,566
Stop trying
to make "fetch" happen.
1240
00:59:54,601 --> 00:59:57,437
It's not going to happen.
1241
01:00:01,146 --> 01:00:03,883
[principal] Okay,
please welcome Santa's Helpers
1242
01:00:03,918 --> 01:00:05,852
doing "Rockin'
Around the Pole."
1243
01:00:05,887 --> 01:00:07,084
[audience applauding]
1244
01:00:07,119 --> 01:00:09,053
[festive music
playing over speakers]
1245
01:00:15,798 --> 01:00:18,194
♪ We're gonna
Take a Christmas train ♪
1246
01:00:18,229 --> 01:00:20,262
♪ To where Santa lives ♪
1247
01:00:20,297 --> 01:00:23,331
♪ Up through the sleet
And snow ♪
1248
01:00:23,366 --> 01:00:26,741
♪ Then we'll hop and bop
Straight to the top ♪
1249
01:00:26,776 --> 01:00:29,436
♪ Last stop the North Pole ♪
1250
01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:34,980
♪ And we'll be rock, rock
Rockin' around the pole ♪
1251
01:00:35,015 --> 01:00:37,983
♪ Where the northern lights
Are bright ♪
1252
01:00:38,018 --> 01:00:41,690
♪ Rock, rock, rockin'
Around the pole ♪
1253
01:00:41,725 --> 01:00:44,825
♪ We'll rock that pole
All night ♪
1254
01:00:44,860 --> 01:00:48,026
♪ And we'll be sing, sing
Singin' a Christmas tune ♪
1255
01:00:48,061 --> 01:00:49,588
Thank you, next!
1256
01:00:51,295 --> 01:00:55,033
♪ Yeah, we'll be rock
Rock, rockin' up on that pole ♪
1257
01:00:55,068 --> 01:00:58,003
♪ Rockin' till the break
Of day ♪
1258
01:00:58,038 --> 01:01:01,039
♪ Yeah, we'll be rockin'
Stuffin' a stockin' ♪
1259
01:01:01,074 --> 01:01:04,207
♪ And they'll be talkin'
About us in town ♪
1260
01:01:04,242 --> 01:01:06,473
♪ Yeah, we'll be rockin' ♪
[audience gasps]
1261
01:01:06,508 --> 01:01:08,343
♪ And rollin' and lockin'
And strollin' ♪
[laughing]
1262
01:01:08,378 --> 01:01:11,984
♪ Till the North Pole police
Come shut us down ♪
1263
01:01:12,019 --> 01:01:14,052
[music slows down]
1264
01:01:21,831 --> 01:01:24,194
[audience distorted laughter]
1265
01:01:31,401 --> 01:01:33,698
[music stops]
1266
01:01:33,733 --> 01:01:36,844
So, I went
to the Christmas show
and it was a mess, y'all.
1267
01:01:36,879 --> 01:01:38,670
Regina ate total shit.
1268
01:01:38,705 --> 01:01:40,375
I think people saw her nipple.
1269
01:01:40,410 --> 01:01:41,706
It's just unprofessional.
1270
01:01:41,741 --> 01:01:43,312
This was kind of hilarious.
1271
01:01:43,347 --> 01:01:45,479
[thudding]
[audience gasping]
1272
01:01:45,514 --> 01:01:47,151
[laughs]
[vlogger 1] I've watched
1273
01:01:47,186 --> 01:01:50,550
this video a thousand times.
Gretchen piledrived Regina.
1274
01:01:50,585 --> 01:01:52,222
Regina really should be
lifting through her glutes.
1275
01:01:52,257 --> 01:01:54,290
Regina challenge!
1276
01:01:54,325 --> 01:01:55,896
[vlogger 2] You know
what that bitch gets?
1277
01:01:55,931 --> 01:01:57,293
Not my sympathy.
1278
01:01:57,328 --> 01:01:58,723
It's not like
we like Regina anyway.
1279
01:01:58,758 --> 01:02:00,626
She's such a bitch.
She's so spoiled.
1280
01:02:00,661 --> 01:02:02,870
[vlogger 3]
Regina always wanted
to be the center of attention.
1281
01:02:02,905 --> 01:02:05,070
[vlogger 4]
Girl, we all see you.
1282
01:02:05,105 --> 01:02:07,138
Regina got what she deserves.
1283
01:02:07,173 --> 01:02:08,975
But you know, that Cady girl
was kind of cute.
1284
01:02:09,010 --> 01:02:10,042
You know, she stayed,
she waved.
1285
01:02:10,077 --> 01:02:12,407
She ate, like, house down.
1286
01:02:12,442 --> 01:02:14,277
Cady Heron was the only one
that acted normal.
1287
01:02:14,312 --> 01:02:15,850
[vlogger 5] Oh, yeah.
[vlogger 6]
I think she salvaged
1288
01:02:15,885 --> 01:02:17,544
the worst tradition
of the year.
1289
01:02:17,579 --> 01:02:19,513
[vlogger 7] Period.
She was... She's kind of hot.
1290
01:02:19,548 --> 01:02:21,515
She might even be hotter
than Regina George.
1291
01:02:21,550 --> 01:02:24,386
No zits. Gum health.
American Eagle.
1292
01:02:24,421 --> 01:02:26,025
Cady doesn't even have
to wear deodorant.
1293
01:02:26,060 --> 01:02:27,587
I'm thinking of going red.
1294
01:02:27,622 --> 01:02:29,061
Okay, so, somebody sent me
this look, and I was like,
1295
01:02:29,096 --> 01:02:31,030
"Hot girls,
we are going back to red!
1296
01:02:31,065 --> 01:02:32,834
Y2K fire-crotch is back!"
1297
01:02:32,869 --> 01:02:34,660
Thank you, Cady Heron.
1298
01:02:34,695 --> 01:02:36,332
[vlogger 6]
Cady was looking good.
1299
01:02:37,841 --> 01:02:39,137
[Janis] Caddy!
1300
01:02:40,107 --> 01:02:41,766
Did you hear me?
1301
01:02:41,801 --> 01:02:44,340
What?
We did it.
1302
01:02:44,375 --> 01:02:45,770
Regina lost
her hot boyfriend.
1303
01:02:45,805 --> 01:02:47,244
She lost her status
over everyone.
1304
01:02:47,279 --> 01:02:48,883
She popped her blemish
against the stage floor.
1305
01:02:48,918 --> 01:02:50,214
That's rock bottom.
[chuckles]
1306
01:02:51,118 --> 01:02:53,250
We can stop. We're even.
1307
01:02:53,285 --> 01:02:55,120
Finally you don't have
to talk to them anymore.
1308
01:02:55,155 --> 01:02:57,419
[Damian] We can finally
have lunch together tomorrow.
1309
01:02:57,454 --> 01:02:58,992
I'm getting dumplings.
1310
01:02:59,027 --> 01:03:00,829
Unless they have pizza bagels,
then I might get both.
1311
01:03:00,864 --> 01:03:02,457
[Janis] So good.
I can't.
1312
01:03:04,692 --> 01:03:06,593
I need one more lunch.
1313
01:03:12,535 --> 01:03:14,601
[students chattering]
1314
01:03:30,322 --> 01:03:33,026
I'm sorry, Regina.
You can't sit with us.
1315
01:03:35,294 --> 01:03:36,788
What?
1316
01:03:38,033 --> 01:03:40,660
You're wearing sweatpants.
It's Thursday.
1317
01:03:41,696 --> 01:03:43,465
Whatever.
Those rules aren't real.
1318
01:03:43,500 --> 01:03:45,005
They were real
that day I wore a vest.
1319
01:03:45,040 --> 01:03:46,633
Yeah, because that vest
was disgusting!
1320
01:03:46,668 --> 01:03:49,075
You can't sit with us!
1321
01:03:49,110 --> 01:03:50,703
[students stop talking]
1322
01:04:01,881 --> 01:04:04,255
These sweatpants
are all that fit me right now.
1323
01:04:07,722 --> 01:04:08,963
What do you think, Cady?
1324
01:04:16,005 --> 01:04:19,732
Sorry, Regina.
Rules are rules.
1325
01:04:21,802 --> 01:04:22,834
Fine.
1326
01:04:25,212 --> 01:04:28,081
[student] Oh. [laughs mockingly]
1327
01:04:30,415 --> 01:04:32,382
Take a picture, losers.
It'll last longer.
1328
01:04:41,030 --> 01:04:42,755
And that...
...was the beginning...
1329
01:04:42,790 --> 01:04:43,690
...of the...
...mother******á
1330
01:04:43,725 --> 01:04:45,230
[trilling]
...end.
1331
01:04:48,862 --> 01:04:50,400
Hello,
may I have your attention
1332
01:04:50,435 --> 01:04:51,907
for this morning's
announcements?
1333
01:04:53,405 --> 01:04:55,108
In honor
of Women's History Month,
1334
01:04:55,143 --> 01:04:58,705
the cafeteria is offering
vegan "Confident Joannes"
1335
01:04:58,740 --> 01:05:01,213
which are Sloppy Joes
made of beans.
1336
01:05:03,415 --> 01:05:05,250
Secondly, we want
to wish good luck
1337
01:05:05,285 --> 01:05:07,648
to junior, Janis 'Imi'ike...
[student snoring]
1338
01:05:07,683 --> 01:05:09,089
...who is a finalist
1339
01:05:09,124 --> 01:05:11,652
in the Illinois Art Expo
this Saturday.
1340
01:05:11,687 --> 01:05:14,160
Go, Lions! Even for Art.
1341
01:05:14,195 --> 01:05:15,920
Art, art, art!
[Mr. Duvall] Next up,
1342
01:05:15,955 --> 01:05:18,362
the Students Activities
Committee voted,
1343
01:05:18,397 --> 01:05:20,133
and the theme for
this year's Spring Fling...
1344
01:05:20,168 --> 01:05:22,663
What's that lip color?
Oh, it's e.l.f. O Face in...
1345
01:05:22,698 --> 01:05:24,104
No, amazing, yeah.
1346
01:05:24,139 --> 01:05:25,831
I was just making sure
your ears still worked.
1347
01:05:25,866 --> 01:05:30,473
And finally, the nominees for
Spring Fling King and Queen
1348
01:05:30,508 --> 01:05:31,903
are as follows:
1349
01:05:31,938 --> 01:05:34,048
For King, Aaron Samuels,
1350
01:05:34,083 --> 01:05:37,051
Christian Wiggins
and Shane Oman.
1351
01:05:37,086 --> 01:05:39,086
And Damian Hubbard. What?
1352
01:05:40,122 --> 01:05:41,550
For Queen...
1353
01:05:41,585 --> 01:05:43,024
...Regina George...
1354
01:05:43,059 --> 01:05:45,587
...Karen Shetty
and Gretchen Wieners.
1355
01:05:45,622 --> 01:05:47,820
Same old, same old.
[Mr. Duvall] And Caddy Heron.
1356
01:05:47,855 --> 01:05:49,459
[gasps]
1357
01:05:50,792 --> 01:05:52,099
Wow.
1358
01:05:52,134 --> 01:05:53,034
Wait, my mistake.
1359
01:05:55,665 --> 01:05:57,005
Cady Heron.
1360
01:05:57,931 --> 01:05:58,974
[chuckles]
1361
01:06:01,275 --> 01:06:02,736
Oh, my God.
1362
01:06:02,771 --> 01:06:06,146
Oh, my God,
so many people are texting me.
1363
01:06:06,181 --> 01:06:08,775
Should I, um, text Aaron
and congratulate him?
1364
01:06:08,810 --> 01:06:10,084
[Damian, Janis] No.
1365
01:06:10,119 --> 01:06:11,910
Hey, do you want a lift
this weekend?
1366
01:06:11,945 --> 01:06:13,978
'Cause Damian's borrowing
his grandma's Jazzy.
1367
01:06:14,013 --> 01:06:15,518
A lift to what?
1368
01:06:17,060 --> 01:06:19,621
My art show.
Didn't you just hear
Mr. Duvall talking about it?
1369
01:06:19,656 --> 01:06:22,459
Oh, that's this weekend?
Yeah.
1370
01:06:22,494 --> 01:06:26,397
Oh, shoot.
I have tickets to this thing
in Madison with my mom.
1371
01:06:26,432 --> 01:06:27,629
Uh, I'm sorry.
1372
01:06:29,666 --> 01:06:32,436
Yeah, you seem
super sad about it.
1373
01:06:32,471 --> 01:06:35,043
[camera shutter clicking]
1374
01:06:35,078 --> 01:06:37,342
So, what are we doing
this weekend?
1375
01:06:37,377 --> 01:06:39,146
Why is everyone asking me
about the weekend?
1376
01:06:39,181 --> 01:06:40,609
It's Tuesday.
1377
01:06:40,644 --> 01:06:44,184
Yeah, the weekend is only...
several days away.
1378
01:06:44,219 --> 01:06:46,549
I have to go to this thing
in Madison with my mom.
1379
01:06:46,584 --> 01:06:48,353
Your mom is going away?
You should have people over.
1380
01:06:48,388 --> 01:06:50,124
No, I'm going with her.
1381
01:06:50,159 --> 01:06:53,160
Well, if you have people over,
you can invite Aaron.
1382
01:06:56,528 --> 01:06:58,099
Huh.
1383
01:06:58,134 --> 01:06:59,793
Yeah, I guess
I could get out of it.
1384
01:06:59,828 --> 01:07:01,960
[both chuckle]
But, like,
1385
01:07:01,995 --> 01:07:05,337
we would keep it small, right?
Like five or six people?
1386
01:07:05,372 --> 01:07:06,800
Yes!
Sure!
1387
01:07:06,835 --> 01:07:09,407
Why are you doing this to me?!
1388
01:07:09,442 --> 01:07:12,344
I promised my friend Janis
I'd go to her art show!
1389
01:07:12,379 --> 01:07:14,709
But, binti, we've had
these tickets for months.
1390
01:07:14,744 --> 01:07:16,216
You love Neil deGrasse Tyson.
1391
01:07:16,251 --> 01:07:17,349
Mom!
1392
01:07:17,384 --> 01:07:19,780
Janis is my best friend!
1393
01:07:19,815 --> 01:07:21,584
Do you not want me
to be a good friend?!
1394
01:07:21,619 --> 01:07:23,047
No! Yes! What?
1395
01:07:23,082 --> 01:07:27,194
You can, uh, stay home
on your own, I guess.
1396
01:07:27,229 --> 01:07:29,526
Hey. I'm having
a small get-together
1397
01:07:29,561 --> 01:07:32,661
at my house tomorrow night.
My mom's away, so...
1398
01:07:32,696 --> 01:07:33,992
Is Regina going?
1399
01:07:34,027 --> 01:07:36,632
No! Do you think
I'm an idiot? No.
1400
01:07:36,667 --> 01:07:38,667
It's just gonna be
a few cool people,
1401
01:07:38,702 --> 01:07:40,405
and you better be
one of them, byotch.
1402
01:07:41,573 --> 01:07:43,441
Okay. I'll be there.
1403
01:07:46,743 --> 01:07:49,040
[upbeat music playing
over speakers]
1404
01:07:51,550 --> 01:07:53,814
[camera shutter clicking]
1405
01:08:01,560 --> 01:08:02,955
No, no, no!
1406
01:08:02,990 --> 01:08:04,957
[grunts]
[vase shatters]
1407
01:08:06,532 --> 01:08:07,993
[cheering]
1408
01:08:14,507 --> 01:08:16,342
Have you seen Aaron?
1409
01:08:16,377 --> 01:08:18,102
[Gretchen] What?
Aaron!
1410
01:08:18,137 --> 01:08:19,642
Karen?
1411
01:08:20,876 --> 01:08:21,908
Hi.
1412
01:08:26,288 --> 01:08:28,255
Whoo!
[coughing]
1413
01:08:30,457 --> 01:08:32,292
[muffled upbeat music
playing over speakers]
1414
01:08:32,327 --> 01:08:33,656
[chuckles softly]
1415
01:08:34,263 --> 01:08:35,526
[Cady gasps]
1416
01:08:35,561 --> 01:08:37,055
I've been looking for you.
1417
01:08:37,893 --> 01:08:39,497
Me as well.
1418
01:08:39,532 --> 01:08:42,335
I like your costume.
I mean, um, your dress.
1419
01:08:43,734 --> 01:08:45,602
Is this you holding
a crocodile?
1420
01:08:45,637 --> 01:08:48,473
Oh, my God,
don't look at that.
That is so embarrassing.
1421
01:08:48,508 --> 01:08:50,838
No, it's not. It's awesome.
1422
01:08:51,808 --> 01:08:53,104
You miss Kenya?
1423
01:08:53,139 --> 01:08:54,413
Yes.
1424
01:08:54,448 --> 01:08:56,008
No. I mean, I...
1425
01:08:57,110 --> 01:08:58,978
Well, I miss...
1426
01:08:59,013 --> 01:09:01,420
I could see
a lot more sky there.
1427
01:09:01,455 --> 01:09:02,817
At night.
1428
01:09:02,852 --> 01:09:05,853
My mom and I used
to map the constellations.
1429
01:09:06,658 --> 01:09:08,020
The stars.
1430
01:09:09,826 --> 01:09:11,628
[treadmill humming]
1431
01:09:16,998 --> 01:09:18,800
You still on
the treadmill, honey?
1432
01:09:18,835 --> 01:09:20,472
No, I'm over there.
1433
01:09:21,838 --> 01:09:25,213
You got any plans tonight?
It's Saturday.
1434
01:09:25,248 --> 01:09:27,677
Mom, don't bother me.
1435
01:09:27,712 --> 01:09:30,944
I know you're not
feeling your best
about your body right now,
1436
01:09:30,979 --> 01:09:35,080
but remember that real beauty
comes from the face.
1437
01:09:35,115 --> 01:09:38,721
Don't ever talk about my body!
1438
01:09:38,756 --> 01:09:40,723
Okay, okay.
1439
01:09:44,366 --> 01:09:47,895
Wait, honey, why are
you eating Kälteen bars?
1440
01:09:47,930 --> 01:09:50,271
These are what
we gave Nana Joan
1441
01:09:50,306 --> 01:09:51,932
when we needed her
to gain weight.
1442
01:09:56,235 --> 01:09:57,839
[breathing heavily]
1443
01:10:08,181 --> 01:10:10,148
[screaming]
1444
01:10:15,760 --> 01:10:17,694
I am drinking
1445
01:10:17,729 --> 01:10:19,762
not juice tonight.
[chuckles]
1446
01:10:19,797 --> 01:10:21,632
I know. I can tell.
1447
01:10:22,569 --> 01:10:23,832
We should go downstairs.
1448
01:10:23,867 --> 01:10:26,406
No, no, no, sit down.
I'm amazing.
1449
01:10:26,441 --> 01:10:27,473
[chuckles]
1450
01:10:32,909 --> 01:10:36,240
I think you should wear
your hair however you want.
1451
01:10:36,275 --> 01:10:38,913
I think it looks good
both ways.
1452
01:10:40,752 --> 01:10:42,686
[chuckles]
1453
01:10:42,721 --> 01:10:45,656
Thank you
for inviting me tonight.
1454
01:10:45,691 --> 01:10:48,527
I think
I've spent too much time
being pissed at Regina.
1455
01:10:48,562 --> 01:10:50,089
Yeah, you really have.
1456
01:10:50,124 --> 01:10:53,092
No more liars.
I would never lie to you.
1457
01:10:54,700 --> 01:10:57,030
I mean,
I did lie to you once.
1458
01:10:57,065 --> 01:10:59,571
But you are totally
gonna laugh when I tell you.
1459
01:10:59,606 --> 01:11:01,001
Tell me what?
[door opens]
1460
01:11:01,036 --> 01:11:02,904
[laughing]
We're in here!
1461
01:11:03,808 --> 01:11:05,379
[laughs]
1462
01:11:05,414 --> 01:11:06,611
[chuckles]
1463
01:11:08,208 --> 01:11:11,275
I pretended
to be bad at math
1464
01:11:11,310 --> 01:11:13,915
to get you to help me,
but I'm not bad at math.
1465
01:11:13,950 --> 01:11:16,588
I'm actually... I'm actually
really good at math.
1466
01:11:16,623 --> 01:11:20,493
You're the one who's only
kind of okay at math.
1467
01:11:20,528 --> 01:11:22,792
Anyways, um,
now I'm failing.
1468
01:11:22,827 --> 01:11:26,796
So isn't that so dumb?
That is dumb, yeah.
1469
01:11:27,931 --> 01:11:29,469
Why wouldn't you
just talk to me?
1470
01:11:29,504 --> 01:11:31,438
Because of Regina.
'Cause you were her property.
1471
01:11:31,473 --> 01:11:33,473
Her property?
Shut up. Not her property.
1472
01:11:33,508 --> 01:11:34,771
Don't tell me to shut up.
1473
01:11:36,445 --> 01:11:38,808
[Cady]
What? Aaron, sit down.
1474
01:11:38,843 --> 01:11:40,612
You are a clone of Regina.
1475
01:11:40,647 --> 01:11:42,515
[upbeat music
playing over speakers]
1476
01:11:43,419 --> 01:11:45,045
No. No, no, no!
1477
01:11:45,080 --> 01:11:47,520
What are you thinking about?
1478
01:11:47,555 --> 01:11:48,785
Chicken wings later.
1479
01:11:48,820 --> 01:11:50,248
Do you ever think about me?
1480
01:11:50,283 --> 01:11:53,020
Sometimes.
When I'm looking right at you.
1481
01:12:01,503 --> 01:12:03,338
Cady, Cady, Cady!
No, no, no.
1482
01:12:07,509 --> 01:12:09,003
Aaron! [panting]
1483
01:12:09,038 --> 01:12:11,511
Aaron, wait! [yelps]
1484
01:12:11,546 --> 01:12:13,106
[teenagers laughing]
1485
01:12:17,948 --> 01:12:19,783
You dirty little liar.
1486
01:12:20,786 --> 01:12:22,280
I... I can explain.
1487
01:12:22,315 --> 01:12:24,051
Explain how you're supposed
to be out of town
1488
01:12:24,086 --> 01:12:25,492
but there are
60 different people
1489
01:12:25,527 --> 01:12:27,285
posting pictures
from your party?
1490
01:12:27,320 --> 01:12:28,759
You know
I couldn't invite you.
1491
01:12:28,794 --> 01:12:30,662
I... I have to act
like I don't know you.
1492
01:12:30,697 --> 01:12:32,763
You are full of lies!
1493
01:12:32,798 --> 01:12:34,633
Janis, I cannot stop
this Jazzy.
1494
01:12:34,668 --> 01:12:35,865
You know I have a curfew!
1495
01:12:35,900 --> 01:12:37,834
You would hate this party.
1496
01:12:37,869 --> 01:12:39,539
[in high-pitched voice]
Why? Aren't you having
an amazing time
1497
01:12:39,574 --> 01:12:41,035
with your amazing friends?
1498
01:12:41,070 --> 01:12:43,004
Janis, I can't spend
every minute with you.
1499
01:12:43,039 --> 01:12:45,072
It's not my fault you're like
obsessed with me or something!
1500
01:12:45,107 --> 01:12:46,238
[brakes screech]
1501
01:12:48,143 --> 01:12:51,716
What?
Oh, no, she didn't.
1502
01:12:51,751 --> 01:12:54,147
See, this is the problem
with you Plastics.
1503
01:12:54,182 --> 01:12:56,215
You think everyone
is obsessed with you
1504
01:12:56,250 --> 01:12:58,052
when actually
everybody hates you.
1505
01:12:58,087 --> 01:12:59,988
You made me like this.
1506
01:13:00,023 --> 01:13:02,221
It was your idea for me
to pretend to be Plastic!
1507
01:13:02,256 --> 01:13:03,959
Buddy, it's not pretend!
1508
01:13:03,994 --> 01:13:05,697
♪ You are as plastic
As they come ♪
1509
01:13:05,732 --> 01:13:07,325
♪ You think
Your shit don't stink ♪
1510
01:13:07,360 --> 01:13:08,898
♪ You think
The rest of us are dumb ♪
1511
01:13:08,933 --> 01:13:10,669
♪ I hate Regina's guts ♪
1512
01:13:10,704 --> 01:13:11,967
♪ But here's what
You don't comprehend ♪
1513
01:13:12,002 --> 01:13:13,507
♪ At least she has the guts ♪
1514
01:13:13,542 --> 01:13:15,707
♪ To not pretend
To be my friend! ♪
1515
01:13:17,073 --> 01:13:17,940
Here.
1516
01:13:18,910 --> 01:13:22,142
Have this. It won an award.
Janis.
1517
01:13:22,177 --> 01:13:25,343
♪ No, it's fine ♪
1518
01:13:25,378 --> 01:13:28,412
♪ Really fine ♪
1519
01:13:28,447 --> 01:13:34,319
♪ Go be fine! ♪
1520
01:13:34,354 --> 01:13:35,529
[music stops]
1521
01:13:35,564 --> 01:13:37,498
And I want my pink shirt.
1522
01:13:37,533 --> 01:13:38,565
[horn honks]
1523
01:13:49,270 --> 01:13:50,709
[distant laughter from party]
1524
01:14:16,099 --> 01:14:20,475
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1525
01:14:21,577 --> 01:14:26,844
♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
1526
01:14:26,879 --> 01:14:32,685
♪ I will grind you to sand ♪
1527
01:14:32,720 --> 01:14:37,954
♪ Beneath my Louboutin-ed heel ♪
1528
01:14:37,989 --> 01:14:42,728
♪ This is what I get
For helping ♪
1529
01:14:42,763 --> 01:14:47,931
♪ Helping someone lame fit in ♪
1530
01:14:47,966 --> 01:14:50,428
♪ Cady Heron ♪
1531
01:14:50,463 --> 01:14:55,202
♪ Enjoy your temporary win ♪
1532
01:14:58,680 --> 01:15:02,715
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1533
01:15:03,850 --> 01:15:09,249
♪ "This girl is a fugly cow" ♪
1534
01:15:09,284 --> 01:15:11,691
♪ Hey, Cady ♪
1535
01:15:11,726 --> 01:15:18,797
♪ How you like me now? ♪
1536
01:15:20,328 --> 01:15:22,702
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1537
01:15:22,737 --> 01:15:25,606
♪ I brought the gasoline ♪
1538
01:15:25,641 --> 01:15:27,641
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1539
01:15:27,676 --> 01:15:30,974
♪ And everyone get mean ♪
1540
01:15:31,009 --> 01:15:33,471
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1541
01:15:33,506 --> 01:15:35,682
♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1542
01:15:35,717 --> 01:15:38,212
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1543
01:15:38,247 --> 01:15:41,787
♪ And everyone get ♪
1544
01:15:41,822 --> 01:15:46,055
♪ Mean ♪
1545
01:16:02,502 --> 01:16:05,503
♪ Cady, time to
Watch your back ♪
1546
01:16:05,538 --> 01:16:08,011
♪ Cady, time to turn and cough ♪
1547
01:16:08,046 --> 01:16:10,783
♪ Because you took me down ♪
1548
01:16:10,818 --> 01:16:15,722
♪ But you didn't finish me off ♪
1549
01:16:15,757 --> 01:16:17,251
[laughing]
1550
01:16:18,485 --> 01:16:21,090
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1551
01:16:21,125 --> 01:16:23,697
♪ And in case
You're keeping score ♪
1552
01:16:23,732 --> 01:16:26,062
♪ Cady may have won the battle ♪
1553
01:16:26,097 --> 01:16:28,801
♪ But I will win the war ♪
1554
01:16:28,836 --> 01:16:30,561
[crying]
1555
01:16:30,596 --> 01:16:33,839
I'm just so upset, Mr. Duvall.
1556
01:16:33,874 --> 01:16:35,368
We found it in the hallway.
1557
01:16:35,403 --> 01:16:37,876
I mean, the things
it says about me?
1558
01:16:37,911 --> 01:16:39,405
The things it says
about all of us?
1559
01:16:39,440 --> 01:16:41,242
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1560
01:16:41,277 --> 01:16:43,783
♪ Trang Pham
Is a grotsky byotch! ♪
1561
01:16:43,818 --> 01:16:45,785
[laughing]
1562
01:16:45,820 --> 01:16:49,756
"Rachel Hamilton fills
her inhaler with vodka"?
1563
01:16:49,791 --> 01:16:52,088
I mean... does that work?
1564
01:16:54,422 --> 01:16:55,828
[Regina] ♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1565
01:16:55,863 --> 01:16:57,522
[chorus] ♪ Ms. Norbury's ♪
1566
01:16:57,557 --> 01:16:58,963
♪ A drug pusher! ♪
No, no, no. No!
1567
01:16:58,998 --> 01:17:02,098
"Ms. Norbury is a sad,
old drug pusher"?
1568
01:17:03,805 --> 01:17:06,707
"Haley Fralenger has" ...what?
1569
01:17:06,742 --> 01:17:07,972
What's this?
Hairy nips.
1570
01:17:08,007 --> 01:17:09,677
[laughing]
1571
01:17:09,712 --> 01:17:11,602
Good Lord.
1572
01:17:11,637 --> 01:17:14,638
[Regina] ♪ Mmm, I want
To make the world burn ♪
1573
01:17:14,673 --> 01:17:17,146
♪ Janis is a pyro-lez! ♪
1574
01:17:17,181 --> 01:17:19,544
Don't you worry.
We're gonna find out
who did this.
1575
01:17:19,579 --> 01:17:22,217
There's only three girls
in the whole school
who aren't in it.
1576
01:17:22,252 --> 01:17:24,956
[chorus]
♪ Regina is a fugly cow! ♪
1577
01:17:24,991 --> 01:17:27,420
♪ Regina is a fugly cow! ♪
1578
01:17:27,455 --> 01:17:29,290
♪ You wrote this ♪
1579
01:17:29,325 --> 01:17:32,656
[Regina]
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa! ♪
1580
01:17:32,691 --> 01:17:35,164
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1581
01:17:35,199 --> 01:17:37,771
♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1582
01:17:37,806 --> 01:17:40,169
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1583
01:17:40,204 --> 01:17:43,139
♪ And everyone turn ♪
1584
01:17:43,174 --> 01:17:47,781
♪ Mean... Mean ♪
1585
01:17:47,816 --> 01:17:53,281
♪ Mean! ♪
1586
01:17:53,316 --> 01:17:55,481
"Damian Hubbard
is too gay to function"?
1587
01:17:55,516 --> 01:17:57,087
That is only okay
when I say it.
1588
01:17:57,122 --> 01:17:58,517
Only Cady could
have written that.
1589
01:18:00,455 --> 01:18:01,894
[yelping]
1590
01:18:03,326 --> 01:18:08,593
[Regina] ♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1591
01:18:08,628 --> 01:18:12,806
♪ I want to make
The world turn ♪
1592
01:18:12,841 --> 01:18:18,207
♪ So mean! ♪
1593
01:18:18,242 --> 01:18:20,110
Oh, hell no!
1594
01:18:20,145 --> 01:18:24,048
I did not go
to graduate school for this.
1595
01:18:24,083 --> 01:18:29,284
[fire alarm ringing]
♪ I want to watch
The world burn! ♪
1596
01:18:29,319 --> 01:18:34,960
All junior girls report
to the gymnasium immediately!
1597
01:18:34,995 --> 01:18:36,588
Immediately!
1598
01:18:41,331 --> 01:18:43,364
[students whispering]
1599
01:18:49,174 --> 01:18:52,340
Never in my 31 years
as an educator
1600
01:18:52,375 --> 01:18:54,177
have I seen such behavior.
1601
01:18:54,212 --> 01:18:57,279
I have half a mind to cancel
your Spring Fling dance!
1602
01:18:57,314 --> 01:18:59,380
No!
I object.
1603
01:18:59,415 --> 01:19:01,151
[students clamoring]
1604
01:19:01,186 --> 01:19:02,515
But we're not gonna do that
1605
01:19:02,550 --> 01:19:04,220
because we've already paid
the DJ.
1606
01:19:04,255 --> 01:19:08,961
But I am taking
this "Burn Book" seriously.
1607
01:19:08,996 --> 01:19:10,930
Now who has something
to say about this?
1608
01:19:19,600 --> 01:19:20,907
Someone wrote in that book
1609
01:19:20,942 --> 01:19:22,172
that I'm lying
about being a virgin
1610
01:19:22,207 --> 01:19:24,878
because I use
super-jumbo tampons.
1611
01:19:24,913 --> 01:19:27,177
But I can't help it
if I have a heavy flow
1612
01:19:27,212 --> 01:19:28,816
and a wideset vagina.
1613
01:19:28,851 --> 01:19:32,578
Okay. Thank you.
Hold that thought.
1614
01:19:33,812 --> 01:19:36,252
Sharon, you need
to run this.
Oh, come on.
1615
01:19:36,287 --> 01:19:37,891
I need to be able
to tell parents
1616
01:19:37,926 --> 01:19:40,124
that we fixed this,
and honestly,
1617
01:19:40,159 --> 01:19:41,895
you need to prove
whoever called you
1618
01:19:41,930 --> 01:19:45,129
a drug pusher
was just joking.
1619
01:19:45,164 --> 01:19:47,032
Okay, fine,
but you are walking the dogs
1620
01:19:47,067 --> 01:19:49,067
every morning
for the rest of the week.
1621
01:19:49,102 --> 01:19:50,695
Thank you. I love you.
1622
01:19:50,730 --> 01:19:52,268
I love you, too.
1623
01:19:55,108 --> 01:19:56,140
[Ms. Norbury sighs]
1624
01:19:57,638 --> 01:19:59,011
[singing off-key] ♪ Well ♪
1625
01:19:59,046 --> 01:20:00,672
[music stops]
[clears throat]
Excuse me.
1626
01:20:02,247 --> 01:20:05,952
Well, okay, hotshots,
1627
01:20:06,779 --> 01:20:08,284
who wrote all this junk?
1628
01:20:10,959 --> 01:20:11,925
Cady?
1629
01:20:12,851 --> 01:20:14,455
Any ideas?
1630
01:20:16,855 --> 01:20:17,821
No.
1631
01:20:17,856 --> 01:20:19,460
Interesting.
1632
01:20:19,495 --> 01:20:21,165
Um, can I just say,
1633
01:20:21,200 --> 01:20:23,299
I don't think we have a clique
problem at this school?
1634
01:20:23,334 --> 01:20:25,598
And some of us
shouldn't have to participate
1635
01:20:25,633 --> 01:20:27,567
in whatever this is,
1636
01:20:27,602 --> 01:20:29,536
um, just because
of a few bad people.
1637
01:20:29,571 --> 01:20:31,912
"A few bad people."
Mm-hmm.
1638
01:20:31,947 --> 01:20:35,839
[Ms. Norbury] Okay.
Well, let's unpack that.
1639
01:20:35,874 --> 01:20:38,149
I want everybody
to close your eyes.
1640
01:20:40,417 --> 01:20:41,812
And I want you
to raise your hand
1641
01:20:41,847 --> 01:20:43,781
if you have ever had
a girl say something bad
1642
01:20:43,816 --> 01:20:45,057
about you behind your back.
1643
01:20:47,028 --> 01:20:49,226
Open your eyes.
1644
01:20:52,330 --> 01:20:54,165
Now close them again.
1645
01:20:54,200 --> 01:20:56,563
This time I want you
to raise your hand
1646
01:20:56,598 --> 01:20:58,598
if you have ever said
something bad
1647
01:20:58,633 --> 01:21:00,336
about a friend
behind her back.
1648
01:21:09,314 --> 01:21:10,808
Open your eyes.
1649
01:21:14,220 --> 01:21:15,483
Hmm.
1650
01:21:15,518 --> 01:21:17,221
Seems like maybe
we could take a break
1651
01:21:17,256 --> 01:21:20,191
from being victims
in this situation
1652
01:21:20,226 --> 01:21:22,028
and start taking
responsibility
1653
01:21:22,063 --> 01:21:23,997
for our own actions.
1654
01:21:24,032 --> 01:21:26,395
Okay, we're gonna write out
some apologies
1655
01:21:26,430 --> 01:21:28,661
to people that we've hurt
in our lives.
1656
01:21:28,696 --> 01:21:30,069
Everybody up.
1657
01:21:32,766 --> 01:21:35,041
[softly]
I'm gonna kill you.
1658
01:21:35,076 --> 01:21:37,901
'Cause one thing
I know for sure, guys:
1659
01:21:37,936 --> 01:21:41,872
Calling someone "ugly" is not
gonna make you better looking.
1660
01:21:41,907 --> 01:21:45,480
Calling somebody else "stupid"
does not make you any smarter.
1661
01:21:45,515 --> 01:21:48,153
And we as women have
to be able to trust
1662
01:21:48,188 --> 01:21:50,749
and support each other.
1663
01:21:50,784 --> 01:21:51,849
Like this.
1664
01:21:53,853 --> 01:21:55,556
[exhales]
[students gasp]
1665
01:21:55,591 --> 01:21:57,228
Okay, that was good.
That was really good.
1666
01:21:57,263 --> 01:21:59,560
That could have
really backfired.
1667
01:21:59,595 --> 01:22:01,199
Alyssa,
1668
01:22:01,234 --> 01:22:03,003
I'm sorry I said you look
like you comb your hair
1669
01:22:03,038 --> 01:22:04,070
with a chicken bone.
1670
01:22:05,898 --> 01:22:07,942
I know you're vegetarian.
1671
01:22:09,605 --> 01:22:11,539
[yelps]
1672
01:22:11,574 --> 01:22:14,608
Gretchen, I'm sorry I
laughed at you that time
you got diarrhea
1673
01:22:14,643 --> 01:22:16,775
on the Ferris wheel.
1674
01:22:16,810 --> 01:22:18,909
And I'm sorry
for repeating it now.
1675
01:22:18,944 --> 01:22:21,054
And I'm sorry to the people
who were below us.
1676
01:22:21,089 --> 01:22:22,220
[students snicker]
1677
01:22:23,124 --> 01:22:24,189
[students gasp]
1678
01:22:24,224 --> 01:22:25,454
Soona,
1679
01:22:25,489 --> 01:22:27,258
I'm sorry I said
you were dragging
1680
01:22:27,293 --> 01:22:29,392
during "Revenge Party."
1681
01:22:29,427 --> 01:22:31,229
There was just, like,
so much pressure on us
1682
01:22:31,264 --> 01:22:33,066
to move the story forward
through montage.
1683
01:22:33,101 --> 01:22:34,166
Like, you know how it is.
1684
01:22:34,201 --> 01:22:36,630
What is going on?
1685
01:22:36,665 --> 01:22:37,961
Don't worry about it.
1686
01:22:37,996 --> 01:22:40,073
I just wish
we could all get along
1687
01:22:40,108 --> 01:22:42,273
like we used to
in elementary school.
1688
01:22:42,308 --> 01:22:44,737
[cries] I wish
I could bake a cake
1689
01:22:44,772 --> 01:22:48,114
made out of rainbows
and smiles.
1690
01:22:48,149 --> 01:22:50,710
Then we could all eat it
and be happy.
1691
01:22:50,745 --> 01:22:53,020
She don't even go here!
1692
01:22:54,254 --> 01:22:55,946
Do you go to this school?
1693
01:22:55,981 --> 01:22:58,619
I'm here for a track meet.
1694
01:22:58,654 --> 01:23:00,951
I just have a lot of feelings!
[crying]
1695
01:23:00,986 --> 01:23:02,986
Okay, sweetheart,
you got to go home.
1696
01:23:03,021 --> 01:23:05,131
Okay. [crying]
1697
01:23:05,166 --> 01:23:06,693
Come on, we're gonna...
[student] Oh, thank you.
1698
01:23:06,728 --> 01:23:08,299
...we're gonna call
your grown-up.
1699
01:23:08,994 --> 01:23:10,565
[Janis] My turn, I guess.
1700
01:23:10,600 --> 01:23:12,534
Watch, this is either gonna be
some really crappy art
1701
01:23:12,569 --> 01:23:13,964
or really good fire.
1702
01:23:13,999 --> 01:23:15,669
[students laughing]
1703
01:23:21,380 --> 01:23:23,215
Okay, sure.
1704
01:23:23,250 --> 01:23:25,052
I have an apology.
1705
01:23:26,484 --> 01:23:28,484
My friend and I thought
it would be fun
1706
01:23:28,519 --> 01:23:31,355
to mess up
Regina George's life.
1707
01:23:31,390 --> 01:23:33,621
So we got
these candy-bar things
1708
01:23:33,656 --> 01:23:35,293
to make her gain weight...
[students gasp]
1709
01:23:35,328 --> 01:23:38,131
...and we told her lard
was face cream.
1710
01:23:38,166 --> 01:23:39,495
[students laughing]
1711
01:23:39,530 --> 01:23:42,564
And we turned her best friends
against her.
1712
01:23:43,567 --> 01:23:45,303
And then my friend Cady...
1713
01:23:45,338 --> 01:23:47,866
Yeah, you all know
my friend Cady.
1714
01:23:47,901 --> 01:23:52,970
She got Regina's boyfriend
to dump her!
1715
01:23:53,005 --> 01:23:54,675
[students] Oh!
[Janis chuckles]
1716
01:23:54,710 --> 01:23:56,039
And it turns out,
1717
01:23:56,074 --> 01:23:57,909
Cady's actually
just as selfish
1718
01:23:57,944 --> 01:24:00,615
and phony as Regina George.
1719
01:24:02,256 --> 01:24:04,289
So this apology is to myself.
1720
01:24:05,589 --> 01:24:07,391
Because I should've
known better.
1721
01:24:09,054 --> 01:24:10,658
♪ So your best friend
Screwed you over ♪
1722
01:24:10,693 --> 01:24:12,396
♪ Acted nice when
She's not nice ♪
1723
01:24:12,431 --> 01:24:14,332
♪ Well, I have some advice ♪
1724
01:24:14,367 --> 01:24:16,301
♪ 'Cause it's happened
To me twice ♪
1725
01:24:16,336 --> 01:24:19,568
♪ Here's my secret strategy
It always works because ♪
1726
01:24:19,603 --> 01:24:22,505
♪ The world doesn't end
It just feels like it does ♪
1727
01:24:22,540 --> 01:24:25,706
♪ Just raise your right finger ♪
1728
01:24:25,741 --> 01:24:30,040
♪ And solemnly swear ♪
1729
01:24:30,075 --> 01:24:33,252
♪ Whatever they say about me ♪
1730
01:24:33,287 --> 01:24:36,717
♪ I don't care ♪
1731
01:24:36,752 --> 01:24:38,653
♪ I won't twist in knots
To join your game ♪
1732
01:24:38,688 --> 01:24:40,721
♪ I will say
"You make me mad" ♪
1733
01:24:40,756 --> 01:24:43,691
♪ And if you treat me bad
I'll say, "You're bad" ♪
1734
01:24:43,726 --> 01:24:45,627
♪ If I eat alone
From this moment on ♪
1735
01:24:45,662 --> 01:24:47,563
♪ That's just what I'll do ♪
1736
01:24:47,598 --> 01:24:50,731
♪ 'Cause I'd rather be me
I'd rather be me ♪
1737
01:24:50,766 --> 01:24:53,305
♪ I'd rather be me ♪
1738
01:24:53,340 --> 01:24:55,736
♪ Than be with you ♪
1739
01:25:01,315 --> 01:25:03,040
♪ We're supposed
To all be ladies ♪
1740
01:25:03,075 --> 01:25:04,910
♪ And be nurturing and care ♪
1741
01:25:04,945 --> 01:25:06,549
♪ Is that really fair? ♪
1742
01:25:06,584 --> 01:25:08,353
♪ Boys get to fight
We have to share ♪
1743
01:25:08,388 --> 01:25:09,552
♪ Here's the way that
That turns out ♪
1744
01:25:09,587 --> 01:25:11,686
♪ We always understand ♪
1745
01:25:11,721 --> 01:25:14,689
♪ How to slap someone down
With our underhand ♪
1746
01:25:14,724 --> 01:25:18,462
♪ So here is my right finger ♪
1747
01:25:18,497 --> 01:25:22,026
♪ To how girls should behave ♪
1748
01:25:22,061 --> 01:25:25,601
♪ 'Cause sometimes
What's meant to break you ♪
1749
01:25:25,636 --> 01:25:28,967
♪ Makes you brave ♪
1750
01:25:29,002 --> 01:25:32,278
♪ So I will not act all innocent
I won't fake apologize ♪
1751
01:25:32,313 --> 01:25:34,071
♪ Let's just fight
And then make up ♪
1752
01:25:34,106 --> 01:25:35,974
♪ Not tell these lies ♪
1753
01:25:36,009 --> 01:25:37,745
♪ Let's call our damage even ♪
1754
01:25:37,780 --> 01:25:39,780
♪ Clean the slate
Till it's like new ♪
1755
01:25:39,815 --> 01:25:43,047
♪ It's a new life for me
Where I'd rather be me ♪
1756
01:25:43,082 --> 01:25:45,522
♪ I'd rather be me ♪
1757
01:25:45,557 --> 01:25:47,722
♪ Than be with you ♪
1758
01:25:49,561 --> 01:25:51,363
♪ I'll say, "No" ♪
♪ No! ♪
1759
01:25:51,398 --> 01:25:52,925
♪ I'll say, "Knock it off
With your notes ♪
1760
01:25:52,960 --> 01:25:55,268
♪ And your rules
And your games" ♪
1761
01:25:55,303 --> 01:25:57,160
♪ And those sycophants
Who follow you
I'll remember all their names ♪
1762
01:25:57,195 --> 01:26:00,471
♪ And when they drag you down
Like they inevitably do ♪
1763
01:26:00,506 --> 01:26:02,275
♪ I will not laugh along
With them ♪
1764
01:26:02,310 --> 01:26:03,639
♪ And approve
Their palace coup ♪
1765
01:26:03,674 --> 01:26:05,311
♪ 'Cause that's not me ♪
1766
01:26:07,480 --> 01:26:09,073
♪ I don't need
Their good opinions ♪
1767
01:26:09,108 --> 01:26:11,218
♪ I've got plenty of opinions ♪
1768
01:26:11,253 --> 01:26:14,452
♪ Every asshole has opinions
But it doesn't make 'em true ♪
1769
01:26:14,487 --> 01:26:17,884
♪ What's true is being me
And I'd rather be me ♪
1770
01:26:17,919 --> 01:26:20,425
♪ I'd rather be me ♪
1771
01:26:20,460 --> 01:26:22,823
♪ Than be with you ♪
[camera shutter clicks]
1772
01:26:24,464 --> 01:26:28,191
♪ So raise 'em high
'Cause playing nice and shy ♪
1773
01:26:28,226 --> 01:26:32,668
♪ Is insulting my IQ ♪
1774
01:26:32,703 --> 01:26:36,133
♪ I'd rather be me
I'd rather be me ♪
1775
01:26:36,168 --> 01:26:39,543
♪ I'd rather be me
Than be with you ♪
1776
01:26:39,578 --> 01:26:41,248
Walk away, turd.
1777
01:26:41,283 --> 01:26:44,042
Regina, I'm so sorry!
I didn't mean to hurt you!
1778
01:26:44,077 --> 01:26:46,550
You are
a lowlife version of me...
1779
01:26:46,585 --> 01:26:50,048
♪ I'd rather be me
I'd rather be me ♪
1780
01:26:50,083 --> 01:26:55,394
♪ I'd rather be me
Than be with ♪
1781
01:26:55,429 --> 01:26:58,991
♪ You! ♪
1782
01:26:59,026 --> 01:27:00,861
[students screaming]
1783
01:27:07,100 --> 01:27:10,002
And that's how
Regina George died.
1784
01:27:10,037 --> 01:27:13,709
Again, no one died!
1785
01:27:13,744 --> 01:27:16,448
I mean, technically, Regina
did die for, like, 15 seconds
1786
01:27:16,483 --> 01:27:18,384
but then she was revived.
1787
01:27:18,419 --> 01:27:21,585
And of course,
the rumor mill
started going insane.
1788
01:27:21,620 --> 01:27:24,082
[student 1] I just saw
Regina get hit by a bus.
1789
01:27:24,117 --> 01:27:26,491
[student 2] An artery come out
of her neck and her head
went all the way around!
1790
01:27:26,526 --> 01:27:28,020
[student 3] Guys, street safety
is so important.
1791
01:27:28,055 --> 01:27:29,791
I'm just sad, like,
that's all I can say.
1792
01:27:33,929 --> 01:27:35,731
We are sending
our love and prayers...
1793
01:27:35,766 --> 01:27:38,162
Link in bio to my GoFundMe
page to raise money.
1794
01:27:38,197 --> 01:27:39,405
Regina, we knew
you would pull through.
1795
01:27:39,440 --> 01:27:41,000
How do I get this
off my algorithm?
1796
01:27:41,035 --> 01:27:42,870
[student 1] I'm not one
to spread rumors,
1797
01:27:42,905 --> 01:27:45,037
but I'm pretty sure I saw Cady
push her right in front of it.
1798
01:27:45,072 --> 01:27:46,973
On my life, Cady pushed her.
1799
01:27:47,008 --> 01:27:49,514
I literally saw Cady
push Regina.
1800
01:27:49,549 --> 01:27:51,417
Don't fill up my comments,
but... karma.
1801
01:27:51,452 --> 01:27:54,552
Girls are made deranged
by what's called hormones.
1802
01:27:54,587 --> 01:27:55,883
Hormones.
1803
01:27:55,918 --> 01:28:00,294
W-H-O-R...
[laughing]
1804
01:28:06,225 --> 01:28:08,434
F that bitch.
[student 3] F that wench.
1805
01:28:09,503 --> 01:28:11,932
[students chattering]
1806
01:28:15,839 --> 01:28:17,410
[Mr. Duvall] All right.
1807
01:28:17,445 --> 01:28:21,447
Ms. Norbury is on a, uh,
temporary leave of absence.
1808
01:28:21,482 --> 01:28:23,108
Jail.
Hey.
1809
01:28:23,143 --> 01:28:25,814
I heard that, Miss Rockwell.
1810
01:28:25,849 --> 01:28:28,487
Anyways, we're not sure
who your substitute...
1811
01:28:28,522 --> 01:28:30,324
[breath trembles] I did it.
1812
01:28:32,658 --> 01:28:35,659
I wrote that Ms. Norbury is
a drug pusher, and it's a lie.
1813
01:28:40,501 --> 01:28:42,292
[students whispering]
1814
01:28:46,166 --> 01:28:49,134
Three-week suspension.
[sighs]
1815
01:28:49,169 --> 01:28:52,478
This is not
who I know you to be.
1816
01:28:52,513 --> 01:28:53,479
I know.
1817
01:28:57,716 --> 01:28:59,243
Where is my Ndebele vase?
1818
01:28:59,278 --> 01:29:02,279
What?
[Ms. Heron]
What do you mean, what?
1819
01:29:02,314 --> 01:29:05,084
You know, the colorful vase
that's always in that window.
1820
01:29:05,119 --> 01:29:06,459
Where is it?
1821
01:29:07,319 --> 01:29:09,396
[teenagers clamoring]
1822
01:29:10,960 --> 01:29:13,829
I had some friends over
when you were away.
1823
01:29:13,864 --> 01:29:15,127
Go.
1824
01:29:15,162 --> 01:29:16,766
Go do your homework!
1825
01:29:16,801 --> 01:29:18,735
Um, also...
1826
01:29:20,266 --> 01:29:22,640
I need you to sign
my Calculus test,
1827
01:29:22,675 --> 01:29:23,872
'cause I'm failing.
1828
01:29:53,838 --> 01:29:54,771
[knocking on door]
1829
01:29:54,806 --> 01:29:56,608
Hey.
1830
01:29:56,643 --> 01:29:59,578
I guess you'll need this back
to set an alarm for tomorrow.
1831
01:30:00,372 --> 01:30:02,042
Don't want it.
1832
01:30:02,077 --> 01:30:04,275
You only have one message.
1833
01:30:04,310 --> 01:30:06,948
From someone named Karen,
who says:
1834
01:30:06,983 --> 01:30:10,116
"Donut worry.
I am still your freend."
1835
01:30:14,529 --> 01:30:16,727
How bad is it gonna
be tomorrow?
1836
01:30:16,762 --> 01:30:18,498
I was thinking maybe
I should go back
1837
01:30:18,533 --> 01:30:20,159
to being homeschooled.
1838
01:30:20,194 --> 01:30:21,259
[Ms. Heron] Sweetie, no.
1839
01:30:21,294 --> 01:30:22,997
It's too small, me and you.
1840
01:30:23,032 --> 01:30:24,933
And I think
you're learning things now
1841
01:30:24,968 --> 01:30:26,803
that I don't know
how to teach.
1842
01:30:33,075 --> 01:30:34,481
Good night.
1843
01:30:35,550 --> 01:30:37,275
Mom?
Hmm?
1844
01:30:39,015 --> 01:30:43,116
Can you sit with me
till I fall asleep?
1845
01:30:43,921 --> 01:30:44,920
Mm-hmm.
1846
01:30:56,329 --> 01:30:58,472
Oh, sweetie.
[crying]
1847
01:31:00,069 --> 01:31:01,233
[sniffles]
1848
01:31:06,009 --> 01:31:07,976
[breath trembling]
1849
01:31:18,791 --> 01:31:21,286
Oh, hi. Did you want
to buy some drugs?
1850
01:31:21,321 --> 01:31:24,091
No, I was just handing
my quiz back.
1851
01:31:24,126 --> 01:31:26,896
You know, when the police
tore apart my house
1852
01:31:26,931 --> 01:31:28,601
looking for imaginary heroin,
1853
01:31:28,636 --> 01:31:31,494
I found this old calculator
that I thought I lost, so...
1854
01:31:31,529 --> 01:31:33,034
totally worth it.
1855
01:31:33,905 --> 01:31:35,201
I'm really sorry.
1856
01:31:35,236 --> 01:31:36,939
Thank you.
1857
01:31:36,974 --> 01:31:38,809
But I know you didn't write
that whole book yourself.
1858
01:31:38,844 --> 01:31:40,206
You gonna tell Mr. Duvall
who did?
1859
01:31:41,506 --> 01:31:42,879
No.
1860
01:31:42,914 --> 01:31:44,980
Trying this new thing
where I don't talk
1861
01:31:45,015 --> 01:31:46,509
about people
behind their backs.
1862
01:31:46,544 --> 01:31:49,721
Getting hit by a bus seems
like enough punishment.
1863
01:31:51,054 --> 01:31:53,384
100.
Welcome back, nerd.
1864
01:31:55,355 --> 01:31:57,795
Will you be attending
the Spring Fling this weekend?
1865
01:31:57,830 --> 01:32:00,127
No. Everyone hates me.
1866
01:32:00,162 --> 01:32:02,360
Perfect, because
I figured out a way for you
1867
01:32:02,395 --> 01:32:03,702
to earn some extra credit.
1868
01:32:03,737 --> 01:32:05,495
Hey, Bird,
you ready to suit up
1869
01:32:05,530 --> 01:32:07,574
and show off
your math schquills?
1870
01:32:07,609 --> 01:32:09,609
Kev, stop trying
to make "schquills" happen.
It's not gonna happen.
1871
01:32:09,644 --> 01:32:12,678
Jacob, get off my dick.
Hey! PG-13, please.
1872
01:32:14,374 --> 01:32:17,815
[instruments tuning]
1873
01:32:24,087 --> 01:32:26,351
[drumroll]
1874
01:32:26,386 --> 01:32:27,957
[guitar strums]
1875
01:32:28,993 --> 01:32:30,388
[cymbal crashes]
1876
01:32:30,423 --> 01:32:33,028
Welcome to the ICMT
State Math Championships.
1877
01:32:33,063 --> 01:32:34,898
Sponsored by SeatGeek.
1878
01:32:34,933 --> 01:32:36,559
Yeah, SeatGeek!
1879
01:32:36,594 --> 01:32:38,198
Tonight will be
the culmination
1880
01:32:38,233 --> 01:32:41,135
of all you've worked for.
[playing soulful tune]
1881
01:32:41,170 --> 01:32:43,203
Each right answer
will be worth two points.
1882
01:32:43,238 --> 01:32:46,910
The highest score at the end
of 40 minutes of play wins.
1883
01:32:46,945 --> 01:32:49,781
As always, no calculators.
1884
01:32:51,081 --> 01:32:54,016
Question one.
Two, three, four!
1885
01:32:54,051 --> 01:32:56,183
[rock music playing]
1886
01:32:59,089 --> 01:33:02,057
Determine the equation of
the tangent line to the graph.
1887
01:33:02,092 --> 01:33:03,322
[buzzer buzzes]
1888
01:33:03,357 --> 01:33:05,522
The answer is B.
[moderator] Correct.
1889
01:33:05,557 --> 01:33:08,525
Solve the equation above
using prime numbers.
1890
01:33:08,560 --> 01:33:10,637
[buzzer buzzes]
[Marymount captain]
Prime factor 41.
1891
01:33:10,672 --> 01:33:12,199
[moderator] Correct.
1892
01:33:12,234 --> 01:33:13,937
Please solve for x.
[buzzer buzzes]
1893
01:33:13,972 --> 01:33:16,236
x = 2?
[moderator] Incorrect.
1894
01:33:16,271 --> 01:33:17,941
x is greater
than the value of y.
1895
01:33:17,976 --> 01:33:19,679
Correct.
1896
01:33:21,243 --> 01:33:23,507
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1897
01:33:23,542 --> 01:33:26,246
♪ I didn't get it ♪
1898
01:33:26,281 --> 01:33:30,547
♪ I didn't get it, somehow ♪
1899
01:33:30,582 --> 01:33:34,485
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
1900
01:33:34,520 --> 01:33:36,619
♪ I didn't get it ♪
1901
01:33:36,654 --> 01:33:37,862
[buzzer buzzes]
Negative two!
1902
01:33:37,897 --> 01:33:38,929
[moderator] Correct.
1903
01:33:38,964 --> 01:33:40,667
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1904
01:33:42,594 --> 01:33:44,836
♪ Whoa-oa-oa
Stupid with love ♪
[buzzer buzzes]
1905
01:33:44,871 --> 01:33:47,498
Function [x] = mx + c.
Correct.
1906
01:33:47,533 --> 01:33:49,467
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1907
01:33:51,306 --> 01:33:52,910
♪ Whoa-oa-oa
Stupid with love ♪
1908
01:33:52,945 --> 01:33:54,472
Both polynomials
are second degree,
1909
01:33:54,507 --> 01:33:56,078
so the asymptote is at y = 5.
1910
01:33:56,113 --> 01:33:57,783
[moderator] Excellent.
1911
01:33:57,818 --> 01:33:59,411
[band] ♪ I feel my brain
Begin to rust ♪
1912
01:33:59,446 --> 01:34:01,578
♪ I am filled with calcu-lust ♪
1913
01:34:01,613 --> 01:34:03,547
♪ Does this guy work out?
He must ♪
1914
01:34:03,582 --> 01:34:05,791
♪ All sweaty at the gym ♪
1915
01:34:05,826 --> 01:34:10,092
♪ Could that image be more hot?
Let me just enjoy
That thought ♪
1916
01:34:10,127 --> 01:34:11,324
♪ School was rough ♪
[Regina groans in pain]
1917
01:34:11,359 --> 01:34:12,457
♪ But now it's not ♪
1918
01:34:12,492 --> 01:34:13,491
[buzzer buzzes]
Negative four?
1919
01:34:13,526 --> 01:34:14,899
[buzzer buzzes]
True.
1920
01:34:14,934 --> 01:34:16,098
[buzzer buzzes]
29?
1921
01:34:16,133 --> 01:34:17,264
[buzzer buzzes]
The slope is zero.
1922
01:34:17,299 --> 01:34:18,595
Incorrect.
[buzzer buzzes]
1923
01:34:18,630 --> 01:34:20,102
The slope
of the tangent line is four.
1924
01:34:20,137 --> 01:34:22,940
Excellent.
[music halts]
1925
01:34:22,975 --> 01:34:25,602
Well, this has only ever
happened once before.
1926
01:34:25,637 --> 01:34:28,781
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a tie.
1927
01:34:28,816 --> 01:34:30,948
[rock music resumes]
1928
01:34:30,983 --> 01:34:32,411
In the event of a tie,
1929
01:34:32,446 --> 01:34:35,018
we move into a one-on-one
sudden-death round
1930
01:34:35,053 --> 01:34:37,086
where each team
may choose their opponent.
1931
01:34:43,655 --> 01:34:45,160
We pick the girl.
1932
01:34:46,900 --> 01:34:48,559
We pick the girl, too.
1933
01:34:51,399 --> 01:34:53,872
Ms. Krafft, Ms. Heron,
please step forward.
1934
01:34:53,907 --> 01:34:54,972
[camera shutter clicks]
1935
01:34:57,009 --> 01:34:58,206
[camera shutter clicks]
1936
01:35:00,441 --> 01:35:03,211
[cheerful rock music playing]
[band vocalizing]
1937
01:35:10,484 --> 01:35:13,485
Nice to meet you.
Whatever, slut.
1938
01:35:13,520 --> 01:35:16,994
Contestants, please find
the limit of this expression.
1939
01:35:21,693 --> 01:35:23,726
You know,
it's not me against you.
1940
01:35:23,761 --> 01:35:26,971
It's North Shore
versus Marymount.
1941
01:35:28,106 --> 01:35:30,073
A very wise teacher...
[buzzer buzzes]
1942
01:35:30,108 --> 01:35:31,569
The limit is negative one.
1943
01:35:33,078 --> 01:35:34,781
That answer is incorrect.
1944
01:35:37,280 --> 01:35:40,182
If Ms. Heron
can answer correctly,
we have a winner.
1945
01:35:40,217 --> 01:35:43,020
You got this, Golf Bird.
[Cady chuckles lightly]
1946
01:35:43,055 --> 01:35:46,023
Why can't I remember
anything about limits?
1947
01:35:46,058 --> 01:35:48,025
Honey, I don't know your life.
1948
01:35:49,688 --> 01:35:51,798
Why did you waste time
insulting me?
1949
01:35:51,833 --> 01:35:53,723
Why did I waste time
judging your hair?
1950
01:35:53,758 --> 01:35:55,428
This is not a competition.
1951
01:35:56,299 --> 01:35:58,167
It kind of is, though.
1952
01:35:58,202 --> 01:35:59,729
Right.
1953
01:36:00,600 --> 01:36:01,940
A math one.
1954
01:36:03,405 --> 01:36:05,240
♪ I was stupid ♪
1955
01:36:06,441 --> 01:36:08,243
♪ But now I get it ♪
1956
01:36:08,278 --> 01:36:12,346
♪ No what ifs, might haves
Could have been if I had ♪
1957
01:36:12,381 --> 01:36:14,711
♪ Only tried, not held back ♪
1958
01:36:14,746 --> 01:36:17,054
♪ That's not a part of my plan ♪
1959
01:36:17,089 --> 01:36:19,122
♪ I see the things
That I missed ♪
1960
01:36:19,157 --> 01:36:21,487
♪ No, that's not the me
That I am ♪
1961
01:36:21,522 --> 01:36:24,457
♪ The limit
It doesn't exist! ♪
[buzzer buzzes]
1962
01:36:25,493 --> 01:36:27,229
The limit does not exist.
1963
01:36:27,264 --> 01:36:30,232
Our new state champions,
the North Shore Mathletes.
1964
01:36:30,267 --> 01:36:31,629
[cheering, laughing]
1965
01:36:31,664 --> 01:36:33,136
[cheering]
1966
01:36:34,436 --> 01:36:35,908
Yeah, you like that,
Marymount?
1967
01:36:35,943 --> 01:36:38,306
Get some! Get some!
1968
01:36:38,341 --> 01:36:40,044
Don't hold me back!
Don't hold me back!
1969
01:36:40,079 --> 01:36:41,848
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1970
01:36:42,675 --> 01:36:44,477
♪ But now I get it ♪
1971
01:36:44,512 --> 01:36:46,809
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1972
01:36:46,844 --> 01:36:48,987
♪ But now I get it ♪
1973
01:36:49,022 --> 01:36:51,055
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1974
01:36:51,090 --> 01:36:54,124
♪ But now I get it
Stupid! ♪
1975
01:36:54,687 --> 01:36:55,928
Have you seen Jason?
1976
01:36:55,963 --> 01:36:57,996
Like right now
or like ever in life?
1977
01:36:58,031 --> 01:36:59,591
Ohhh, miss!
1978
01:36:59,626 --> 01:37:02,000
I'm supposed to hang
with my fallback in there
1979
01:37:02,035 --> 01:37:03,496
but, you know,
if you wanted to slip out,
1980
01:37:03,531 --> 01:37:05,663
meet in my Jeep or...
Jason!
1981
01:37:05,698 --> 01:37:07,137
It's me!
1982
01:37:07,172 --> 01:37:08,633
"Fallback"?
1983
01:37:08,668 --> 01:37:10,877
No, I... I know.
Yeah, I knew the whole time.
1984
01:37:10,912 --> 01:37:13,011
No, we are done!
1985
01:37:13,046 --> 01:37:14,243
Because you know what?
1986
01:37:14,278 --> 01:37:18,214
I have a 140 IQ,
very toned legs,
1987
01:37:18,249 --> 01:37:20,315
and my parents love me!
1988
01:37:20,350 --> 01:37:22,416
And you will regret this
when you're old
1989
01:37:22,451 --> 01:37:24,891
because I am fricking fetch!
1990
01:37:24,926 --> 01:37:27,586
That's how you use it.
Come on.
1991
01:37:28,193 --> 01:37:29,654
[chattering]
1992
01:37:29,689 --> 01:37:31,557
[Mr. Duvall on mic]
Okay, attention, everybody.
1993
01:37:32,560 --> 01:37:35,495
Whoo-hoo-hoo,
let's go!
1994
01:37:39,369 --> 01:37:40,401
[water running]
1995
01:37:42,834 --> 01:37:43,877
Regina!
1996
01:37:46,871 --> 01:37:48,409
You look pretty.
1997
01:37:50,809 --> 01:37:52,985
I'm wearing
a corrective neck collar.
1998
01:37:55,385 --> 01:37:56,846
[makeup clatters]
1999
01:37:59,488 --> 01:38:02,819
I'm sorry about the bus.
I feel like it's all my fault.
2000
01:38:02,854 --> 01:38:05,228
No... No, it's not your fault.
2001
01:38:05,263 --> 01:38:07,967
Cady, don't apologize for
things that aren't your fault.
2002
01:38:08,002 --> 01:38:10,464
But, yeah,
I forgive you, 'cause...
2003
01:38:12,369 --> 01:38:14,204
I'm on a lot
of pain medication right now.
2004
01:38:14,239 --> 01:38:16,976
You know I died
for 15 seconds?
2005
01:38:17,011 --> 01:38:18,043
Yeah.
2006
01:38:19,673 --> 01:38:23,675
Anyway, my mom was really
pumped to be on the news.
2007
01:38:23,710 --> 01:38:24,984
[both chuckle]
2008
01:38:25,019 --> 01:38:26,414
It's weird
when people treat you
2009
01:38:26,449 --> 01:38:27,712
like you're famous
or something.
2010
01:38:27,747 --> 01:38:30,088
It's amazing. [chuckles]
2011
01:38:30,123 --> 01:38:31,452
Until it's not.
2012
01:38:33,258 --> 01:38:37,194
[clears throat] Look, I...
I know I have to change.
2013
01:38:38,296 --> 01:38:40,461
And I was harsh.
2014
01:38:40,496 --> 01:38:42,232
And people say
that I'm a bitch.
2015
01:38:42,267 --> 01:38:44,861
You know what they would
call me if I was a boy?
2016
01:38:44,896 --> 01:38:47,831
Strong.
"Reginald."
2017
01:38:47,866 --> 01:38:51,736
That's what my mom was gonna
name me if I was a boy, so...
2018
01:38:51,771 --> 01:38:54,772
Honestly,
I would rather be "bitch."
2019
01:38:55,709 --> 01:38:57,082
[Regina laughs]
2020
01:39:00,648 --> 01:39:02,846
I like you.
2021
01:39:02,881 --> 01:39:05,717
But this medicine
makes me like everyone, so...
2022
01:39:05,752 --> 01:39:07,994
[Mr. Duvall] Okay,
do we have all of our nominees
2023
01:39:08,029 --> 01:39:10,656
for the Spring Fling
King and Queen onstage?
2024
01:39:10,691 --> 01:39:13,032
I just want to say
you're all winners.
2025
01:39:13,067 --> 01:39:18,235
And I am retiring as soon
as this evening is over.
2026
01:39:18,270 --> 01:39:19,566
[drumroll]
2027
01:39:19,601 --> 01:39:22,305
The winner
of the Spring Fling King is...
2028
01:39:22,340 --> 01:39:24,142
Shane Oman.
2029
01:39:24,177 --> 01:39:26,144
[all cheering]
2030
01:39:26,179 --> 01:39:27,805
Whoo! Yeah!
2031
01:39:31,184 --> 01:39:32,216
Hey.
2032
01:39:33,813 --> 01:39:35,813
Um, have you seen Janis?
2033
01:39:35,848 --> 01:39:38,090
Every day since 2009.
2034
01:39:38,125 --> 01:39:39,586
But she doesn't want
to see you.
2035
01:39:39,621 --> 01:39:42,193
[Mr. Duvall] And
your Spring Fling Queen...
2036
01:39:42,228 --> 01:39:44,987
Damian, I'm...
I'm really sorry.
2037
01:39:45,022 --> 01:39:47,330
[Mr. Duvall] Cady Heron.
[all gasp]
2038
01:39:47,365 --> 01:39:50,069
What?
I mean, of course she is.
2039
01:39:50,104 --> 01:39:52,434
[mathletes cheering]
[students applauding]
2040
01:39:52,469 --> 01:39:54,040
[Kevin G] Go, Cady!
2041
01:39:55,637 --> 01:39:56,867
Where is Cady?
2042
01:40:00,807 --> 01:40:02,873
[students whispering]
2043
01:40:11,422 --> 01:40:12,685
Congratulations.
2044
01:40:16,691 --> 01:40:17,723
Um...
2045
01:40:18,957 --> 01:40:20,891
I think people voted for me
2046
01:40:20,926 --> 01:40:22,431
because they think
I pushed someone
2047
01:40:22,466 --> 01:40:23,795
in front of a bus.
2048
01:40:23,830 --> 01:40:27,040
It's not your fault.
A bus pushed me.
2049
01:40:30,870 --> 01:40:34,146
But what is my fault is
2050
01:40:34,181 --> 01:40:35,708
the way I treated my friends.
2051
01:40:37,514 --> 01:40:40,548
I used you and I lied to you
and I'm... I'm so sorry.
2052
01:40:44,048 --> 01:40:46,686
I'm also sorry to everyone
2053
01:40:46,721 --> 01:40:48,754
whose feelings got hurt
from the Burn Book.
2054
01:40:48,789 --> 01:40:50,360
You know,
it's really not required
2055
01:40:50,395 --> 01:40:51,988
for you to make a speech.
2056
01:40:52,023 --> 01:40:54,100
Right. Almost done,
I promise. Um...
2057
01:40:55,268 --> 01:40:59,204
I think everyone looks
like royalty tonight.
2058
01:40:59,239 --> 01:41:04,770
It just seems weird
for one person to win this.
2059
01:41:07,412 --> 01:41:10,083
I mean,
it's just a chunk of plastic.
2060
01:41:12,351 --> 01:41:14,945
We could just share it.
2061
01:41:14,980 --> 01:41:16,749
[all gasp]
2062
01:41:18,918 --> 01:41:23,228
♪ Cheap, fake
Easy to break ♪
2063
01:41:23,263 --> 01:41:26,055
♪ That's how I used to be ♪
2064
01:41:26,090 --> 01:41:28,860
Here... Take it.
2065
01:41:28,895 --> 01:41:31,236
♪ Now I'm awake ♪
2066
01:41:31,271 --> 01:41:33,898
♪ I'll tell you what I see ♪
2067
01:41:33,933 --> 01:41:36,901
♪ Plastic don't shine
Glitter don't shine ♪
2068
01:41:36,936 --> 01:41:41,070
♪ Rhinestones don't shine
The way you do ♪
2069
01:41:41,105 --> 01:41:44,447
♪ You are so real
You are so rare ♪
2070
01:41:44,482 --> 01:41:47,076
♪ I see you there ♪
[piece clatters]
2071
01:41:47,111 --> 01:41:50,783
♪ I see you ♪
2072
01:41:50,818 --> 01:41:53,082
♪ I see stars ♪
2073
01:41:53,117 --> 01:41:56,459
♪ So many stars tonight ♪
2074
01:41:56,494 --> 01:42:00,694
♪ You could make diamonds dull ♪
2075
01:42:00,729 --> 01:42:04,335
♪ You are so beautiful ♪
2076
01:42:04,370 --> 01:42:07,239
♪ I see stars ♪
2077
01:42:07,274 --> 01:42:10,869
♪ You shine as bright as day ♪
2078
01:42:10,904 --> 01:42:14,037
♪ I will look out for you ♪
2079
01:42:14,072 --> 01:42:17,810
♪ We'll light each other's way ♪
2080
01:42:17,845 --> 01:42:21,979
♪ You're all stars ♪
2081
01:42:23,818 --> 01:42:25,521
All right,
have a good time, everyone.
2082
01:42:25,556 --> 01:42:26,588
No vaping.
2083
01:42:26,623 --> 01:42:27,820
Rachel Hamilton!
2084
01:42:27,855 --> 01:42:28,920
Give me that inhaler.
2085
01:42:43,673 --> 01:42:45,574
Are you still mad at me?
2086
01:42:45,609 --> 01:42:47,972
I don't know.
Are you still an asshole?
2087
01:42:48,843 --> 01:42:50,249
I don't think so?
2088
01:42:56,587 --> 01:42:58,015
Cute.
[chuckles]
2089
01:42:59,689 --> 01:43:02,294
[student]
♪ Wherever darkness falls ♪
2090
01:43:02,329 --> 01:43:07,497
♪ I'll be the light ♪
2091
01:43:07,532 --> 01:43:11,061
♪ To guide you home ♪
2092
01:43:11,096 --> 01:43:13,206
She sounds good.
2093
01:43:14,198 --> 01:43:16,671
But she does not
go here, y'all.
2094
01:43:16,706 --> 01:43:19,542
Would you look over there?
Oh, my gosh!
2095
01:43:21,876 --> 01:43:24,041
Do you want to dance?
Yeah.
2096
01:43:25,550 --> 01:43:26,747
[both chuckle]
2097
01:43:29,081 --> 01:43:31,950
Congrats on winning state.
The jacket looks, uh,
really good on you.
2098
01:43:31,985 --> 01:43:35,624
Thanks. It has a pocket inside
for a calculator.
2099
01:43:35,659 --> 01:43:36,889
What?
Yeah.
2100
01:43:36,924 --> 01:43:38,055
Grool.
2101
01:43:38,090 --> 01:43:39,430
[laughs]
2102
01:43:39,465 --> 01:43:40,794
Grool.
2103
01:43:43,469 --> 01:43:46,734
[student] ♪ You stars ♪
2104
01:43:46,769 --> 01:43:50,342
♪ So many stars tonight ♪
2105
01:43:50,377 --> 01:43:53,202
♪ I see stars ♪
2106
01:43:53,237 --> 01:43:54,874
[Damian] And that was
the first time in history
2107
01:43:54,909 --> 01:43:57,382
that Spring Fling
was actually fun.
2108
01:43:57,417 --> 01:44:02,046
[Janis] Ms. Norbury and
Mr. Duvall got wasted. JK, JK.
2109
01:44:02,081 --> 01:44:04,818
[Damian] Karen discovered
the safe joy
2110
01:44:04,853 --> 01:44:07,920
of dancing with theater boys.
[Karen yelps]
2111
01:44:07,955 --> 01:44:11,759
[Janis] And Plastics and Jocks
partied with math nerds.
2112
01:44:11,794 --> 01:44:13,365
[Damian] Janis danced
to a pop song
2113
01:44:13,400 --> 01:44:15,059
and didn't burst into flames.
2114
01:44:15,897 --> 01:44:17,864
[Regina] Ow. Ow. Ow!
2115
01:44:17,899 --> 01:44:20,834
[Janis] And everyone else
just kind of floated.
2116
01:44:23,300 --> 01:44:25,641
So the moral
of our story is thus:
2117
01:44:25,676 --> 01:44:28,039
Calling someone stupid
won't make you any smarter.
2118
01:44:28,074 --> 01:44:30,074
And even the people
you really don't like
2119
01:44:30,109 --> 01:44:32,582
are still people
who just want to coexist.
2120
01:44:32,617 --> 01:44:35,079
So get off their dicks!
2121
01:44:38,249 --> 01:44:40,216
[student] ♪ I see ♪
2122
01:44:40,251 --> 01:44:44,055
[all] ♪ Stars! ♪
2123
01:44:44,090 --> 01:44:46,189
[students cheering]
2124
01:44:46,224 --> 01:44:48,290
["Not My Fault" by Reneé Rapp
& Megan Thee Stallion plays]
2125
01:44:48,325 --> 01:44:49,995
♪ Where she at?
What she doing? ♪
2126
01:44:50,030 --> 01:44:52,030
♪ Who she with
And where she from? ♪
2127
01:44:52,065 --> 01:44:53,933
♪ Well, she's this
Oh, she's that ♪
2128
01:44:53,968 --> 01:44:56,232
♪ She's a flight risk
On the run ♪
2129
01:44:56,267 --> 01:44:58,036
♪ She's back, she's back ♪
2130
01:44:58,071 --> 01:44:59,906
♪ Yeah, I'm back, bitch
Are you done? ♪
2131
01:44:59,941 --> 01:45:03,811
♪ Excuse me
While I bite my tongue ♪
2132
01:45:03,846 --> 01:45:07,881
♪ I'm back on that same shit
From before ♪
2133
01:45:07,916 --> 01:45:11,522
♪ I can't take this pettiness
Now I'm bored ♪
2134
01:45:11,557 --> 01:45:15,790
♪ We can champagne
There's enough for us all ♪
2135
01:45:15,825 --> 01:45:18,793
♪ Told you who I am
And what it is
It's not my fault ♪
2136
01:45:18,828 --> 01:45:22,830
♪ It's not my fault
You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪
2137
01:45:22,865 --> 01:45:26,471
♪ It's not my fault
You've got to pay
For what I get for free ♪
2138
01:45:26,506 --> 01:45:28,671
♪ It's not my fault ♪
2139
01:45:28,706 --> 01:45:30,640
♪ You're like, you're like
You're like in love with me ♪
2140
01:45:30,675 --> 01:45:32,642
♪ It's not my fault
You're like in love with me ♪
2141
01:45:32,677 --> 01:45:34,974
♪ You're like in love with me ♪
2142
01:45:35,009 --> 01:45:38,549
♪ Get her number, get her name
Get a good thing
While you can ♪
2143
01:45:38,584 --> 01:45:42,850
♪ Kiss a blonde, kiss a friend
Can a gay girl get an amen? ♪
2144
01:45:42,885 --> 01:45:46,282
♪ I'm back on that same shit
From before ♪
2145
01:45:46,317 --> 01:45:50,154
♪ I can't take this pettiness
Now I'm bored ♪
2146
01:45:50,189 --> 01:45:54,257
♪ We can champagne
There's enough for us all ♪
2147
01:45:54,292 --> 01:45:56,468
♪ I told you who I am
And what it is ♪
2148
01:45:56,503 --> 01:45:58,998
♪ It's not my fault
It's not my fault ♪
2149
01:45:59,033 --> 01:46:01,297
♪ You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪
2150
01:46:01,332 --> 01:46:03,167
♪ It's not my fault ♪
2151
01:46:03,202 --> 01:46:05,939
♪ You've got to pay
For what I get for free ♪
2152
01:46:05,974 --> 01:46:09,305
♪ It's not my fault
You're like, you're like
You're like in love with me ♪
2153
01:46:09,340 --> 01:46:11,813
♪ It's not my fault
You're like in love with me ♪
2154
01:46:11,848 --> 01:46:13,815
♪ You're like in love with me ♪
2155
01:46:13,850 --> 01:46:15,685
♪ I mean, who wouldn't want
To be in love with me ♪
2156
01:46:15,720 --> 01:46:17,687
♪ I'm a mood board
Girls got to Pinterest me ♪
2157
01:46:17,722 --> 01:46:19,722
♪ I'm a stallion but they come
And f... me like Trojan ♪
2158
01:46:19,757 --> 01:46:22,021
♪ And it wouldn't be me
If I ain't cause commotion ♪
2159
01:46:22,056 --> 01:46:24,661
♪ I'm so bad
Dudes thought I was AI
I ballin' like AI ♪
2160
01:46:24,696 --> 01:46:27,158
♪ I stick to a whole lot
Of paper like a stapler
Stack like Jenga ♪
2161
01:46:27,193 --> 01:46:29,061
♪ And you basic bitch
Get stroke like a painter ♪
2162
01:46:29,096 --> 01:46:31,195
♪ It's funny how the mean girl
Open all the doors ♪
2163
01:46:31,230 --> 01:46:33,098
♪ I've been told y'all
I'm the black Regina George ♪
2164
01:46:33,133 --> 01:46:35,034
♪ Bikini top, booty shorts
Megan core ♪
2165
01:46:35,069 --> 01:46:36,838
♪ You was hating back then
Now you finna hate more ♪
2166
01:46:36,873 --> 01:46:38,807
♪ I got influence
They do anything I endorse ♪
2167
01:46:38,842 --> 01:46:41,073
♪ I run s...
To be a bad bitch is a sport ♪
2168
01:46:41,108 --> 01:46:43,746
♪ I woke up hotter
Than I was yesterday ♪
2169
01:46:43,781 --> 01:46:47,849
♪ Don't care about no rules
'Cause I always get my way ♪
2170
01:46:47,884 --> 01:46:49,686
♪ It's not my fault ♪
2171
01:46:49,721 --> 01:46:52,183
♪ You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪
2172
01:46:52,218 --> 01:46:55,725
♪ It's not my fault
You've got to pay
For what I get for free ♪
2173
01:46:55,760 --> 01:46:59,322
♪ It's not my fault
You're like, you're like
You're like in love with me ♪
2174
01:46:59,357 --> 01:47:02,358
♪ It's not my fault
You're like in love with me ♪
2175
01:47:02,393 --> 01:47:03,832
♪ You're like in love with me ♪
2176
01:47:03,867 --> 01:47:06,395
[cheers, applause]
2177
01:47:06,430 --> 01:47:08,639
[Karen] ♪ A sexy Quint
From sexy Jaws ♪
2178
01:47:08,674 --> 01:47:10,476
♪ Catching sexy sharks ♪
2179
01:47:10,511 --> 01:47:13,908
♪ Sexy Eleanor Roosevelt
Or sexy Joan of Arc ♪
2180
01:47:13,943 --> 01:47:17,780
♪ I can be a sexy pirate
Or a sexy ballet dancer ♪
2181
01:47:17,815 --> 01:47:22,147
♪ I can be a sexy doctor
And cure some sexy cancer! ♪
2182
01:47:34,227 --> 01:47:35,996
♪ Happy Halloween! ♪
2183
01:47:39,804 --> 01:47:43,267
♪ This is
Modern feminism talkin' ♪
2184
01:47:43,302 --> 01:47:46,908
♪ Watch me as I run the world
In shoes I cannot walk in ♪
2185
01:47:46,943 --> 01:47:50,307
♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
2186
01:47:50,342 --> 01:47:53,915
♪ And sex... sex ♪
2187
01:47:53,950 --> 01:47:58,755
♪ Sexy! ♪
2188
01:47:58,790 --> 01:48:00,988
I'm a sexy mouse. Duh!
2189
01:48:03,322 --> 01:48:05,531
["Let Me Go" by Nahscha playing]
2190
01:49:56,501 --> 01:49:59,106
["Someone Gets Hurt"
by Reneé Rapp playing]
2191
01:52:00,427 --> 01:52:01,899
You're next.
2192
01:52:01,934 --> 01:52:04,495
You could be really hot
if you change, like,
2193
01:52:04,530 --> 01:52:05,837
everything.
166276
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