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1
00:00:39,217 --> 00:00:42,050
Dear Jamie, when we're together,
2
00:00:42,050 --> 00:00:45,508
I feel like we're
not in high school,
3
00:00:45,508 --> 00:00:48,758
but in our own little
Chris-andJamie world.
4
00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:51,133
Whether we're watching
"Party of Five"
5
00:00:51,133 --> 00:00:53,675
or practicing our cheers,
6
00:00:53,675 --> 00:00:56,842
I feel like I can
just be myself.
7
00:00:56,842 --> 00:01:01,175
Jamie, we've been friends
for a really long time,
8
00:01:01,175 --> 00:01:03,175
but I want to be more than that.
9
00:01:03,175 --> 00:01:05,633
I don't think so.
10
00:01:08,175 --> 00:01:10,217
Hoping to be your boyfriend.
11
00:01:10,217 --> 00:01:12,217
Sincerely, Chris Brander.
12
00:01:12,217 --> 00:01:13,883
BFF!
13
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,550
- Get out of my room!
- Mom!
14
00:01:45,550 --> 00:01:48,717
Stupid! Anybody ever hear
of privacy around here?!
15
00:02:00,092 --> 00:02:01,800
Jamie!
16
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,592
Yeah, I signed your yearbook.
17
00:02:03,592 --> 00:02:06,092
You feel the same way about me?
18
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:07,717
You want a kiss?
19
00:02:09,717 --> 00:02:12,217
Jamie, I signed your yearbook.
20
00:02:12,217 --> 00:02:14,175
Jamie, I'm opening your gate.
21
00:02:31,592 --> 00:02:33,425
What's up, guys?
22
00:02:33,425 --> 00:02:35,425
Class of '95.
23
00:02:35,425 --> 00:02:38,758
Hey, what's up, Leon, Trevor?
Great season. Great.
24
00:02:42,258 --> 00:02:44,258
I love you.
25
00:02:44,258 --> 00:02:47,217
- Hey, guys.
- Chris Brander, ladies and gentlemen!
26
00:02:47,217 --> 00:02:49,425
- Happy graduation, Chris.
- What's going on?
27
00:02:49,425 --> 00:02:51,467
I thought it was supposed to be
just the four of us.
28
00:02:51,508 --> 00:02:53,175
The Palaminos decided
to throw Jamie
29
00:02:53,175 --> 00:02:55,758
- a surprise graduation party.
- That's just great!
30
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:58,467
- Tonight's the night.
- Where is she?
31
00:02:58,467 --> 00:03:01,175
I think I saw her go in the garage
with the football team.
32
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:05,008
- Sweet.
- Hey. No fear, Chris? This is your
33
00:03:05,175 --> 00:03:07,967
- chance to get out of the "friend zone."
- Yeah.
34
00:03:07,967 --> 00:03:09,925
Okay.
35
00:03:17,425 --> 00:03:19,925
Jamie.
36
00:03:19,925 --> 00:03:23,008
- Chris!
- Yay!
37
00:03:23,008 --> 00:03:26,633
You came, finally! I'm so happy.
38
00:03:26,633 --> 00:03:29,717
Oh, come on, come on!
39
00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:39,967
Oh my God, we graduated!
40
00:03:43,675 --> 00:03:44,883
- God.
- Yeah.
41
00:03:44,883 --> 00:03:47,300
What's up?
42
00:03:47,300 --> 00:03:50,342
There's something I've been
meaning to say to you.
43
00:03:50,342 --> 00:03:52,592
Jamie! There you are.
44
00:03:52,592 --> 00:03:55,175
- Hey, Tim.
- Shut up, chubs.
45
00:03:55,175 --> 00:03:57,592
Funny guy!
46
00:03:57,592 --> 00:03:59,925
Jamie...
47
00:03:59,925 --> 00:04:03,217
- will you sign my yearbook, please?
- Can I do it later, Tim?
48
00:04:03,217 --> 00:04:05,967
Can I do you later?
49
00:04:09,342 --> 00:04:10,925
I need a beer!
50
00:04:11,092 --> 00:04:13,550
I can't believe...
51
00:04:13,550 --> 00:04:15,383
- I went out with him.
- You went out with him.
52
00:04:15,425 --> 00:04:18,175
Jinx! 1-2-34-5-6-7, can't say
a thing till I say...
53
00:04:24,008 --> 00:04:26,425
Come in.
54
00:04:28,717 --> 00:04:31,383
- Hi. Hi, Jamie.
- Hey, Dusty.
55
00:04:32,633 --> 00:04:34,883
I was hoping I'd find you here.
56
00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,633
I didn't know you played guitar.
57
00:04:36,633 --> 00:04:38,633
I really...
58
00:04:38,633 --> 00:04:41,592
I really want to be a famous musician.
59
00:04:41,592 --> 00:04:44,467
And I wrote you a song.
60
00:04:44,467 --> 00:04:47,842
He wrote me a song!
That's so cute.
61
00:04:47,842 --> 00:04:49,592
It's called "Jamie Smiles."
62
00:04:57,133 --> 00:04:58,508
Hold on.
63
00:05:05,675 --> 00:05:07,300
He's crazy.
64
00:05:09,258 --> 00:05:12,258
God damn it! Come on, Dusty!
65
00:05:12,258 --> 00:05:15,883
Dusty, come here.
66
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:18,008
Maybe you should come back
another time when you're...
67
00:05:18,008 --> 00:05:20,258
- Oh, no, I got it.
- You can come back
68
00:05:20,258 --> 00:05:22,258
and then play it
for us later, okay?
69
00:05:22,258 --> 00:05:24,383
- I really... I've got it. It's beautiful.
- Yeah.
70
00:05:24,383 --> 00:05:26,175
- It is.
- Bye, Dusty.
71
00:05:27,925 --> 00:05:29,675
Jesus.
72
00:05:29,675 --> 00:05:31,300
Yeah.
73
00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:33,467
I almost forgot.
74
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:36,717
I got you a little
something right here.
75
00:05:36,717 --> 00:05:38,717
Okay. Now I know
it's a little dorky,
76
00:05:38,717 --> 00:05:40,717
but I had to do it.
77
00:05:40,717 --> 00:05:42,717
So look at it.
78
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,717
Will you put it on for me?
79
00:05:44,717 --> 00:05:46,592
- Now?
- Please, please? Put it on.
80
00:05:46,592 --> 00:05:49,133
- Okay. Quickly.
- Okay okay okay okay.
81
00:05:49,133 --> 00:05:50,883
- I think it's gonna fit.
- Yeah.
82
00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:53,092
- Let's see.
- Okay.
83
00:05:53,092 --> 00:05:54,967
- Here we go.
- Okay.
84
00:05:59,842 --> 00:06:01,633
It's a little snug.
85
00:06:01,633 --> 00:06:04,133
Oh my God, isn't that so cute?
86
00:06:04,133 --> 00:06:06,133
"Shakes come and go,
87
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,800
but friends are furrr-ever!"
88
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,967
That's adorable!
Let's go show my mom.
89
00:06:09,967 --> 00:06:12,050
She'll love it. Let's go
show her. Come on.
90
00:06:12,050 --> 00:06:14,342
- Let's not. No no. Come on.
- Chris, she's gonna love it!
91
00:06:14,342 --> 00:06:15,383
Just... just wait.
92
00:06:15,383 --> 00:06:18,508
- Just... we're busy!
- Chris, are you okay?
93
00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:20,800
Yes, I'm fine. I just...
94
00:06:22,092 --> 00:06:23,758
I signed your yearbook.
95
00:06:26,383 --> 00:06:29,092
Read it... please.
96
00:06:29,092 --> 00:06:30,175
Okay.
97
00:06:34,342 --> 00:06:36,967
Please, God.
98
00:06:36,967 --> 00:06:40,550
"Stud muffin, getting it on
in your love truck was hot!"
99
00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:42,925
Wait! That's not what I wrote!
100
00:06:42,925 --> 00:06:44,842
This is Tim's yearbook.
101
00:06:46,425 --> 00:06:49,050
- Chris?
- Oh my God!
102
00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:51,508
Listen to this. Listen to this.
103
00:06:51,508 --> 00:06:53,342
"When we're together, I feel"...
104
00:06:53,342 --> 00:06:55,383
- Gimme!
- "Like we're not in high school, but we're
105
00:06:55,383 --> 00:06:58,133
- "in our own Chris-andJamie little world."
- Tim... okay.
106
00:06:58,133 --> 00:07:00,258
Okay.
107
00:07:00,258 --> 00:07:02,592
- "You're my best friend..."
- Please, don't read that.
108
00:07:02,592 --> 00:07:04,592
"But I want to be
more than that"?
109
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:08,217
"Hoping to be your boyfriend.
110
00:07:08,217 --> 00:07:11,717
Sincerely, Chris Brander, BFF."
111
00:07:11,717 --> 00:07:14,758
It's a joke! That's a joke
between me and Jamie!
112
00:07:14,925 --> 00:07:16,675
Holy shit! Check out his shirt!
113
00:07:24,758 --> 00:07:26,925
He's gonna cry.
114
00:07:26,925 --> 00:07:28,633
See ya!
115
00:07:29,842 --> 00:07:31,675
G'bye, fatty!
116
00:07:32,967 --> 00:07:34,550
Chris!
117
00:07:34,550 --> 00:07:37,008
Try a salad!
118
00:07:37,008 --> 00:07:38,883
- Chris!
- Leave me alone!
119
00:07:39,050 --> 00:07:41,300
Don't worry about it.
It happens to everybody.
120
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:44,633
Chris! We need to talk
about what you wrote.
121
00:07:44,633 --> 00:07:46,633
Is that really how you feel?
122
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,217
I don't know. Maybe. Why?
123
00:07:49,217 --> 00:07:52,175
Because that's the nicest thing
anyone's ever written me.
124
00:07:52,175 --> 00:07:54,342
It was?
125
00:07:54,342 --> 00:07:55,758
Yes.
126
00:07:55,758 --> 00:07:57,842
I love you, Chris...
127
00:08:00,925 --> 00:08:03,383
like a brother.
128
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:07,175
- We're friends, right?
- For sure!
129
00:08:09,258 --> 00:08:11,258
You pussy!
130
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,758
Shut up, Tim!
131
00:08:15,050 --> 00:08:17,758
Don't you people have anything
better to do?!
132
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,717
God! Just leave him alone!
133
00:08:21,592 --> 00:08:23,717
You jerks!
134
00:08:23,883 --> 00:08:25,717
I'll show you!
135
00:08:25,717 --> 00:08:28,133
I'll show all of you!
136
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:31,092
This town is full of losers
137
00:08:31,092 --> 00:08:32,842
and I'm pulling out to win!
138
00:08:32,842 --> 00:08:35,050
Chris! Chris, come back!
139
00:08:35,050 --> 00:08:38,508
- My name is Chris Brander!
- Chris, let's talk!
140
00:08:38,508 --> 00:08:40,925
You remember that name!
'Cause I'm gonna be somebody!
141
00:09:06,967 --> 00:09:08,633
I don't know what to say.
142
00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:11,092
I mean, the sex is good,
143
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,800
but I'm a person too.
144
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,050
I mean, I have
feelings and needs
145
00:09:15,050 --> 00:09:16,467
other than just physical!
146
00:09:16,467 --> 00:09:19,508
Don't you have anything
to say for yourself?
147
00:09:20,883 --> 00:09:22,883
I think you've pretty much
said it all.
148
00:09:22,883 --> 00:09:25,883
You know what?
This just isn't working out.
149
00:09:25,883 --> 00:09:28,550
Have a great life,
'cause Athena's out!
150
00:09:31,425 --> 00:09:33,592
I don't know why you
just don't take me serious!
151
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:41,758
I guess Athena's out.
152
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,383
God, can you believe that?
153
00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:46,383
I get dumped four days
before Christmas.
154
00:09:46,383 --> 00:09:48,383
- I saw.
- Yeah, and yet, you did nothing.
155
00:09:48,383 --> 00:09:50,133
Technically, that makes you
an accomplice.
156
00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:51,633
Guilty as charged.
157
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:54,342
You know, in some cultures
they'd spank you for that.
158
00:09:54,342 --> 00:09:56,342
I love to travel.
159
00:09:57,675 --> 00:09:59,800
- Chris Brander.
- I'm Mandy.
160
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,550
Of course you are. You know,
I know a song called "Mandy."
161
00:10:05,758 --> 00:10:07,467
He shoots, he scores.
162
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,050
- Nice, nice!
- Yeah, Brander! Great job, Brander!
163
00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:17,342
You're the bad bunny.
No. No, that's you.
164
00:10:17,342 --> 00:10:19,633
You're the bad bunny. Yeah.
165
00:10:19,633 --> 00:10:21,425
Okay, that's enough out of you.
166
00:10:21,425 --> 00:10:23,508
Next time you call me,
you call me collect.
167
00:10:23,508 --> 00:10:25,550
Okay. Bye-bye.
168
00:10:25,550 --> 00:10:28,258
- So how'd it go last night?
- Home by 10:00.
169
00:10:28,258 --> 00:10:30,633
Pants off in front
of the computer by 10:01.
170
00:10:30,633 --> 00:10:33,133
Nice. What about Sheila?
Are you making any headway?
171
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,092
We'll see. I'm taking her
to lunch today...
172
00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:37,258
Don't... don't do that.
173
00:10:37,258 --> 00:10:39,008
- Okay? Don't do lunch.
- Why?
174
00:10:39,008 --> 00:10:41,217
That's like the express lane
to the friend zone.
175
00:10:41,217 --> 00:10:43,592
What the hell's the friend zone?
176
00:10:43,592 --> 00:10:45,800
See when a girl decides
that you're her friend,
177
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,425
you're no longer
a dating option.
178
00:10:47,425 --> 00:10:49,967
You become a complete
non-sexual entity in her eyes,
179
00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:51,800
like her brother. Or a lamp.
180
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,425
I don't want to be a lamp.
181
00:10:53,425 --> 00:10:55,592
Yeah. Well, then don't be
her friend, okay?
182
00:10:55,592 --> 00:10:58,800
Take that guy, for example.
183
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,925
- You mean that couple?
- No no no.
184
00:11:00,925 --> 00:11:03,550
No, I mean the guy that
wishes they were a couple.
185
00:11:03,550 --> 00:11:05,383
- What is your point?
- My point is...
186
00:11:05,383 --> 00:11:08,258
call Sheila, Ray.
Call her right now.
187
00:11:08,258 --> 00:11:10,175
Move your day date to tonight.
188
00:11:10,175 --> 00:11:13,133
Play the entire thing aloof and no matter
what you do, kiss her at the end.
189
00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:16,467
- 'Cause friends don't kiss.
- All right. "Aloof."
190
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:18,925
Hi.
191
00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:24,383
Straight to voicemail.
192
00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:27,050
Hope you're not too late.
You may already be girlfriends.
193
00:11:27,050 --> 00:11:30,467
- Really? How will I know?
- Look. It doesn't matter, okay?
194
00:11:30,467 --> 00:11:34,342
If you feel yourself
going there, walk away.
195
00:11:34,342 --> 00:11:36,092
Where'd you come up
with this theory?
196
00:11:36,092 --> 00:11:38,925
Some chick f'd me up
in high school bad.
197
00:11:38,925 --> 00:11:41,300
Excuse me. Excuse me.
198
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,842
Excuse you!
199
00:11:42,842 --> 00:11:44,508
I saw you flirting
with me out there.
200
00:11:44,508 --> 00:11:46,758
How could you do
that to your boyfriend?
201
00:11:46,758 --> 00:11:49,050
Who, him? We're just friends.
202
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,633
Oh, no no no, I never said that, Lindsay. I
wouldn't do that.
203
00:11:54,633 --> 00:11:56,800
No, I'm driving
through a tunnel.
204
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,342
Okay. One second here.
Hey, Francine, you look great.
205
00:11:59,342 --> 00:12:02,758
- Thanks.
- That color really brings out your legs.
206
00:12:02,758 --> 00:12:05,800
Hey, I don't even know you.
Yeah..
207
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,467
That's great. Merry Christmas.
208
00:12:07,467 --> 00:12:09,675
I can still see it.
I can still... rub harder!
209
00:12:09,675 --> 00:12:11,383
Don't dab at it! Rub it.
210
00:12:11,383 --> 00:12:13,592
Rub, rub it, rub it!
211
00:12:13,592 --> 00:12:15,842
Look, honestly, these pants
make me look fat?
212
00:12:15,842 --> 00:12:17,675
- Well...
- You're fired!
213
00:12:17,675 --> 00:12:19,592
- What?
- I'm kidding.
214
00:12:19,592 --> 00:12:22,217
Who's got a Christmas present?
215
00:12:22,217 --> 00:12:23,842
I do.
216
00:12:23,842 --> 00:12:25,842
How you doing, boss?
Merry Christmas.
217
00:12:25,842 --> 00:12:27,842
- I look fat in these pants?
- Hell no.
218
00:12:27,842 --> 00:12:29,883
Excellent! So you're
seeing your family
219
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,092
- for the holidays.
- Well, as a matter of fact...
220
00:12:32,092 --> 00:12:33,467
- Wait. You want anything?
- No.
221
00:12:33,633 --> 00:12:36,425
Go! Wait.
222
00:12:36,425 --> 00:12:38,383
- Family.
- Parents are separated.
223
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,675
- Jersey's not my idea of a good time, so...
- Fabulous.
224
00:12:40,675 --> 00:12:42,467
- Check this out.
- Yeah. Great. Good.
225
00:12:42,467 --> 00:12:45,467
First up tonight, you've seen
her in the pages of magazines,
226
00:12:45,467 --> 00:12:47,467
and well, the opening
of practically anything,
227
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,717
but what what you may not
know about this "it" girl...
228
00:12:49,717 --> 00:12:51,508
is her humanitarian side.
229
00:12:51,508 --> 00:12:53,133
Hey, everyone.
I'm Samantha James
230
00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:54,633
and I'm here
with Mr. Cluck Cluck
231
00:12:54,633 --> 00:12:56,675
and my new best friend Wafoofi
232
00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:59,008
and we're part of a kick-ass
humanitarian effort
233
00:12:59,008 --> 00:13:01,717
to help promote vegetarianism
in third world countries,
234
00:13:01,717 --> 00:13:03,467
which is really really
important.
235
00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:06,508
Okay, and speaking of
really really important...
236
00:13:06,508 --> 00:13:09,175
I have some good news.
237
00:13:09,175 --> 00:13:10,967
I've been recording
for my new album
238
00:13:10,967 --> 00:13:12,967
which I hope to have out
early next...
239
00:13:14,467 --> 00:13:17,300
- I want that album.
- What?!
240
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:18,800
- Samantha James?
- Yeah.
241
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,883
No no no no. Listen to me
very carefully now.
242
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,175
Samantha James
is a crazy person.
243
00:13:23,175 --> 00:13:25,342
Hey, you're the one that
used to diddle her, not me.
244
00:13:25,342 --> 00:13:28,425
It was one date!
And I ended up in the hospital.
245
00:13:28,425 --> 00:13:31,008
Have you seen this poster?
Have you seen...
246
00:13:31,008 --> 00:13:32,842
- this poster?
- Yeah, with the fruit.
247
00:13:32,842 --> 00:13:35,550
This is the hottest-selling
poster in the United States.
248
00:13:35,550 --> 00:13:37,633
People love her. They love her!
249
00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:39,550
Who loves her?
250
00:13:39,550 --> 00:13:42,133
MTV just got her a new
reality show next year.
251
00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:45,717
We time the CD release with the show,
we got a guaranteed hit
252
00:13:45,717 --> 00:13:47,217
plus free promotion.
253
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:49,800
- She's recording over...
- I know where she's recording.
254
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:53,092
Good. Good. Make me happy.
255
00:13:53,092 --> 00:13:54,925
Go away. Wait. Not you.
256
00:13:54,925 --> 00:13:56,842
Wait!
257
00:13:56,842 --> 00:13:59,883
You don't make me happy, I'm gonna
find somebody else to make me happy.
258
00:13:59,883 --> 00:14:02,300
Loud and clear. Yeah.
Clear as a bell.
259
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,300
- Good.
- Okay.
260
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,842
What are you still doing here?
261
00:14:04,842 --> 00:14:06,092
Go! Go get me lobster!
262
00:14:06,092 --> 00:14:07,800
Go! Run! Lobster!
263
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,717
Run away! Run!
Daddy want a fish!
264
00:14:54,425 --> 00:14:57,342
Cut! Cut!
265
00:14:58,883 --> 00:15:01,967
Okay, Ron, which jokester
changed the key on me?
266
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,758
No one, Samantha.
267
00:15:03,758 --> 00:15:06,258
It's been the same key
for the last 43 takes.
268
00:15:06,258 --> 00:15:09,883
Well, something's off then,
because I'm just not feeling it, okay?
269
00:15:09,883 --> 00:15:11,758
God, I need my guitar.
270
00:15:11,758 --> 00:15:14,467
- We need to mix the tracks separately.
- No!
271
00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:18,967
My lyrics say "dancing free
with my guitar," Ron.
272
00:15:18,967 --> 00:15:21,175
So, I'm gonna be real, okay?
273
00:15:21,175 --> 00:15:23,633
I'm not gonna let you
and Hong Kong Phooey up there
274
00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:27,300
turn me into some poppy
bubblegum wannabe.
275
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,300
Okay? I need to transcend!
276
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,133
Are you guys
even listening to me?
277
00:15:39,133 --> 00:15:41,092
She's all yours.
278
00:15:41,092 --> 00:15:43,258
Chris!
279
00:15:47,175 --> 00:15:49,883
Hey!
280
00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:53,175
I can't hear you, Samantha.
I can't hear you, Samantha.
281
00:15:54,258 --> 00:15:55,425
Can't hear you.
282
00:15:55,425 --> 00:15:59,258
Light bulb. There you go.
283
00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:04,675
Oh my God, I don't believe it!
284
00:16:04,675 --> 00:16:06,800
God, I've missed you.
285
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,717
Okay.
286
00:16:12,592 --> 00:16:15,508
Wait a minute. Are you here
because you miss me,
287
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:18,217
or are you just here because your
boss wants to sign me?
288
00:16:20,008 --> 00:16:22,092
Both?
289
00:16:22,092 --> 00:16:24,842
That's cool.
Guess I missed you too.
290
00:16:26,092 --> 00:16:28,175
God, I want to lick
your skin off!
291
00:16:28,175 --> 00:16:30,300
- I prefer you didn't.
- But I want to.
292
00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:32,633
Don't.
293
00:16:35,967 --> 00:16:38,633
You're gonna get it.
You're gonna get it, baby.
294
00:16:38,633 --> 00:16:42,050
- I don't want it.
- Bad kitty. Meow, meow.
295
00:16:42,050 --> 00:16:44,217
- Okay.
- Listen, what're you doing
296
00:16:44,217 --> 00:16:46,675
- over the holidays?
- I'm going to Santa Barbara...
297
00:16:46,675 --> 00:16:47,925
'Cause Paris is throwing
a Christmas bash in Paris.
298
00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:49,508
Okay, Paris isn't
gonna work for...
299
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,675
I'm gonna call my assistant
and we're gonna go tonight.
300
00:16:51,675 --> 00:16:54,008
We can work and play. Mreow.
301
00:16:54,008 --> 00:16:56,258
Oh my God! I just wrote a new song.
You have to hear it!
302
00:16:59,925 --> 00:17:01,758
This one's called "Forgiveness."
303
00:17:42,092 --> 00:17:44,383
So what did you you think?
304
00:17:46,550 --> 00:17:49,342
I mean, my God!
305
00:17:49,342 --> 00:17:51,383
Oh my God, you're sweet.
306
00:17:52,758 --> 00:17:55,342
- What is that?
- This is a taser gun.
307
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,842
My publicist gave it to me
to ward off stalkers.
308
00:17:57,842 --> 00:18:00,092
Bam!
309
00:18:00,092 --> 00:18:03,675
Ahi tuna.
310
00:18:03,675 --> 00:18:06,508
- You want some? Yummy yummy.
- I'll pass.
311
00:18:06,508 --> 00:18:08,883
Ahi!
312
00:18:08,883 --> 00:18:11,717
I'm so glad
KC got us back together.
313
00:18:11,717 --> 00:18:13,592
Yeah, you're awful.
314
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:16,175
Hey, I have a great idea.
315
00:18:16,175 --> 00:18:18,508
What if on our way to Paris
we stop off in Ireland
316
00:18:18,508 --> 00:18:20,383
and find out where U2 lives?
317
00:18:20,383 --> 00:18:23,258
What if we got someone
like Bono to sing backup?
318
00:18:28,758 --> 00:18:30,800
Wouldn't that be amazing?
319
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,550
What if I added more vibrato?
320
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,425
Okay. Who's the genius
behind this?
321
00:18:56,425 --> 00:18:58,758
The container said
"microwavable."
322
00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:00,342
But the aluminum foil wasn't.
323
00:19:00,342 --> 00:19:02,925
Well, I'm not supposed to worry
about stuff like that.
324
00:19:02,925 --> 00:19:04,425
I'm the talent.
325
00:19:04,425 --> 00:19:06,842
Daddy, we're down.
326
00:19:06,842 --> 00:19:08,842
Not exactly warm
out here, is it?
327
00:19:08,842 --> 00:19:11,925
- How long till we're airborne again?
- Nice plane!
328
00:19:11,925 --> 00:19:14,592
- Not till tomorrow.
- Terrific. Where are we?
329
00:19:14,592 --> 00:19:16,217
Not happy!
330
00:19:16,217 --> 00:19:19,050
We're on a private field
an hour outside of Trenton.
331
00:19:19,050 --> 00:19:22,050
Jersey? We're in New Jersey?
332
00:19:22,050 --> 00:19:25,092
Hey, wait a minute.
Am I being Punk'd?
333
00:19:25,092 --> 00:19:27,050
Where's Ashton?
334
00:19:27,050 --> 00:19:28,092
Ashton!
335
00:19:28,092 --> 00:19:30,092
My God!
336
00:19:30,092 --> 00:19:32,092
You totally got me!
337
00:19:32,092 --> 00:19:33,842
Ashton?
338
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,675
I love it that you're taking me home
to meet your mom.
339
00:19:38,675 --> 00:19:40,633
Was this one of your
clever little plans?
340
00:19:40,633 --> 00:19:42,883
Yes. I planned you
setting the plane on fire.
341
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,925
Surprise!
342
00:19:51,592 --> 00:19:54,092
Oh, my little boy.
343
00:19:57,925 --> 00:19:59,800
Be right down.
344
00:20:47,425 --> 00:20:49,800
I do not remember
Jersey being this cold.
345
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,342
Well, it's been uncommonly
cold this month.
346
00:20:52,342 --> 00:20:55,675
We've gone through
seven bags of rock salt.
347
00:20:55,675 --> 00:20:57,425
Your house is just
so quaint, Mrs. Brander,
348
00:20:57,425 --> 00:20:59,967
I mean, Chris, you never told me
you were so provincial.
349
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:02,342
It's like a true
rags to riches story,
350
00:21:02,342 --> 00:21:05,008
but I've always found the middle class to
be just so much more real.
351
00:21:06,342 --> 00:21:08,717
I mean, isn't Chris great?
352
00:21:08,717 --> 00:21:10,717
Yeah, he is a nice boy.
353
00:21:10,717 --> 00:21:14,050
You know, he usually
flies us out to Los Angeles.
354
00:21:14,050 --> 00:21:16,050
It's been...
355
00:21:16,050 --> 00:21:18,425
nine, 10...
356
00:21:18,425 --> 00:21:20,633
- It's 10 years. Yeah.
- 10?
357
00:21:20,633 --> 00:21:23,008
10 years since he's been home.
358
00:21:23,008 --> 00:21:25,508
- All right. Good job, Dougie.
- Hi, honey!
359
00:21:28,592 --> 00:21:30,342
Oh my God.
360
00:21:30,342 --> 00:21:33,342
- Mikey.
- Oh my God!
361
00:21:34,967 --> 00:21:38,258
- Is that my Christmas present?
- Sam, my younger brother Mike.
362
00:21:38,258 --> 00:21:40,967
- Samantha James.
- Samantha James.
363
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:43,342
Mike Brander. It is an honor.
364
00:21:43,342 --> 00:21:45,633
I have your poster on my wall,
365
00:21:45,633 --> 00:21:48,883
- but you are way hotter in person.
- I know!
366
00:21:49,050 --> 00:21:51,592
- You have her poster on your wall?
- Yeah.
367
00:21:51,592 --> 00:21:53,717
I slapped the ham
to it like an hour ago.
368
00:21:53,717 --> 00:21:55,758
What ham did you slap?
369
00:21:55,758 --> 00:21:58,342
Not the ham that I just bought?
370
00:21:58,342 --> 00:22:01,467
Oh, Mrs. Brander, do you have
anything else besides ham?
371
00:22:01,467 --> 00:22:03,258
Because I'm on
the Perricone diet
372
00:22:03,258 --> 00:22:05,133
and I need salmon like now.
373
00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:08,675
I love salmon. It's the prettiest
color for bedrooms.
374
00:22:08,675 --> 00:22:11,758
- So relaxing.
- I'm gonna start drinking.
375
00:22:11,758 --> 00:22:13,758
Does anybody want anything?
Some coffee?
376
00:22:13,925 --> 00:22:15,592
Maybe some salmon or something?
377
00:22:15,592 --> 00:22:17,592
Just gonna...
378
00:22:17,592 --> 00:22:19,300
yeah.
379
00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:21,008
Mike! Good to be home.
380
00:22:29,175 --> 00:22:32,883
Oh, boy. Okay.
381
00:22:32,883 --> 00:22:36,425
Hi. Yes, I know, very exciting.
382
00:22:36,425 --> 00:22:39,092
Hi. Hi.
383
00:22:39,092 --> 00:22:41,092
Chris, let's get it to go.
384
00:22:41,092 --> 00:22:43,133
People are staring at me.
385
00:22:44,717 --> 00:22:46,717
Oh my God... plastic menus!
386
00:22:46,717 --> 00:22:49,508
Well, this isn't gonna work,
is it now, Chris?
387
00:22:49,508 --> 00:22:50,467
Chris?
388
00:22:53,592 --> 00:22:55,633
Excuse me, but I was
wondering if you think
389
00:22:55,633 --> 00:22:57,758
America will ever switch
to the metric system?
390
00:22:57,758 --> 00:22:59,508
Well, that's
a very interesting...
391
00:23:01,175 --> 00:23:04,800
- Oh my God! Chris!
- I don't believe this!
392
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,050
- God, you look great!
- I don't... you look great!
393
00:23:08,050 --> 00:23:10,592
- Well, thank you! How you been?
- We're married.
394
00:23:10,592 --> 00:23:12,758
- You're married!
- Married?
395
00:23:12,758 --> 00:23:15,383
- Oh, yeah, we're married, we got a kid. TJ.
- We have a son. TJ.
396
00:23:15,383 --> 00:23:17,592
- TJ!
- He looks like me. He's got Clark's eyes...
397
00:23:17,592 --> 00:23:19,633
Oh my God!
Where does the time go?
398
00:23:19,633 --> 00:23:22,592
He's like the creative mind kid, he's like,
brilliant and you can meet him.
399
00:23:22,633 --> 00:23:24,842
- That's great!
- God, look at those teeth!
400
00:23:24,842 --> 00:23:26,800
Those are some nice veneers
you got, my friend.
401
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:28,842
- Don't tell me that you're a dentist.
- A dentist?
402
00:23:28,842 --> 00:23:32,633
- I totally sold out, dude.
- Hey, you and me both, buddy.
403
00:23:32,633 --> 00:23:35,508
Hey, lover, aren't you
gonna introduce me?
404
00:23:35,508 --> 00:23:37,175
Yes!
405
00:23:37,175 --> 00:23:38,967
Samantha, these are
my old friends.
406
00:23:38,967 --> 00:23:41,217
This is Clark, this is Darla.
407
00:23:41,217 --> 00:23:44,300
Your names are
"Clark" and "Darla"?
408
00:23:44,300 --> 00:23:45,508
Yeah.
409
00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:48,258
Oh my God, that is so cute!
410
00:23:48,258 --> 00:23:50,258
I just wanna eat you both up!
411
00:23:52,092 --> 00:23:55,050
Okay, I am gonna go
to the little girl's room.
412
00:23:55,050 --> 00:23:57,008
- Good.
- And then we're outie.
413
00:23:57,008 --> 00:23:59,842
- Okay.
- Okay.
414
00:23:59,842 --> 00:24:02,800
She's... incoming.
415
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,675
Oh my God.
416
00:24:04,675 --> 00:24:07,050
Check out that girl's ass. Huge!
417
00:24:08,508 --> 00:24:10,508
It was so nice meeting you.
418
00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:15,758
Darla.
419
00:24:19,633 --> 00:24:21,800
She's adorable.
420
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,133
- And affectionate.
- Christ sakes.
421
00:24:24,133 --> 00:24:27,217
- Chris Brander, ladies and gentlemen!
- Yes! You guys, so good...
422
00:24:27,217 --> 00:24:29,592
Chris Brander? Chris Brander?
423
00:24:29,592 --> 00:24:31,217
Holy...
424
00:24:31,217 --> 00:24:34,883
I saw you at the Grammys
sitting next to P. Diddy!
425
00:24:35,967 --> 00:24:37,717
It's me Tim. You remember?
426
00:24:37,717 --> 00:24:39,092
How could I forget you, Tim?
427
00:24:39,092 --> 00:24:41,092
Hey, you got $5
428
00:24:41,092 --> 00:24:43,175
that I can, like, have?
429
00:24:44,258 --> 00:24:46,300
Yeah.
430
00:24:46,300 --> 00:24:48,092
You keep living the dream, Tim.
431
00:24:48,092 --> 00:24:49,050
Done!
432
00:24:49,050 --> 00:24:50,258
Buh-bye now.
433
00:24:50,258 --> 00:24:53,300
- Class of '95!
- Class of '95!
434
00:24:53,300 --> 00:24:55,092
Here's your money, bitch!
435
00:24:55,092 --> 00:24:57,383
- He looks good.
- Man, I can't believe...
436
00:24:57,383 --> 00:24:59,592
wha... like what happened?
Where did you go?
437
00:24:59,592 --> 00:25:02,425
Hey, you know...
just migrated west.
438
00:25:02,633 --> 00:25:05,217
You know, I'm living
the dream out there, I guess.
439
00:25:05,217 --> 00:25:07,342
I just stayed with my dad
for awhile, and...
440
00:25:07,342 --> 00:25:10,758
yeah, hocked my soul
for a record executive job...
441
00:25:10,758 --> 00:25:13,925
and started...
I mean I had an internship first
442
00:25:13,925 --> 00:25:15,300
- a couple of years.
- Right.
443
00:25:17,842 --> 00:25:20,133
Jamie.
444
00:25:24,217 --> 00:25:25,633
Jamie?
445
00:25:27,050 --> 00:25:29,717
- Chris, hi!
- Hi!
446
00:25:29,717 --> 00:25:32,675
What are you doing down there?
447
00:25:32,675 --> 00:25:35,633
I'm just busted!
448
00:25:35,633 --> 00:25:39,217
How are you? Oh, shit. Hold on.
449
00:25:42,342 --> 00:25:44,133
Look at you!
450
00:25:44,133 --> 00:25:45,800
Oh my God,
451
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,133
I can put my arms around you.
452
00:25:49,967 --> 00:25:52,633
- You look so great! Look at this body!
- Thank you.
453
00:25:52,633 --> 00:25:54,425
- You're like a new man!
- Yeah.
454
00:25:54,425 --> 00:25:57,425
These arms and your belly,
455
00:25:57,425 --> 00:25:59,508
and look at... pecs, and...
456
00:25:59,508 --> 00:26:02,133
Chris Brander.
457
00:26:02,133 --> 00:26:04,967
God. Jamie Palamino.
458
00:26:08,175 --> 00:26:11,092
So... so how long
are you in town for?
459
00:26:11,092 --> 00:26:13,300
Just the night, actually.
460
00:26:13,300 --> 00:26:15,592
Just one night, really?
You can't stay any longer?
461
00:26:15,592 --> 00:26:18,842
No. I wish I could, but I...
462
00:26:18,842 --> 00:26:20,758
Let's go, Chris.
There's pee on the floor.
463
00:26:23,550 --> 00:26:27,175
- Yeah.
- Okay...
464
00:26:27,175 --> 00:26:29,842
all right, well...
465
00:26:29,842 --> 00:26:33,467
- it's really great to see you again.
- You too.
466
00:26:40,717 --> 00:26:42,633
Just give me a call sometime.
467
00:26:42,633 --> 00:26:44,758
I'm living with my parents.
468
00:26:44,758 --> 00:26:47,633
I know.
I'm living with my parents.
469
00:26:49,050 --> 00:26:50,717
Okay, bye.
470
00:26:52,050 --> 00:26:53,967
- Bye.
- Bye.
471
00:26:56,467 --> 00:26:59,633
Jamie Pal.
472
00:26:59,633 --> 00:27:01,133
She's like a box of fine wine.
473
00:27:01,133 --> 00:27:03,925
You would know.
474
00:27:03,925 --> 00:27:06,633
You know, in high school
you'd never get a girl like that.
475
00:27:06,633 --> 00:27:08,592
And now you get
whoever you want.
476
00:27:10,717 --> 00:27:13,467
I bet you could
definitely hit Jamie Pal.
477
00:27:13,467 --> 00:27:15,925
- Definitely.
- Okay. Okay.
478
00:27:20,842 --> 00:27:22,592
- Excuse me.
- Oh yeah.
479
00:27:22,592 --> 00:27:24,883
You go!
480
00:27:24,883 --> 00:27:27,217
- Hey!
- Hey!
481
00:27:27,217 --> 00:27:30,592
Look, there is a chance that my
flight might be delayed an extra day.
482
00:27:30,592 --> 00:27:33,092
- What are you doing tomorrow?
- Nothing.
483
00:27:33,092 --> 00:27:35,883
- Do you want to meet for lunch?
- You mean like a day date?
484
00:27:35,883 --> 00:27:37,883
Yeah.
485
00:27:37,883 --> 00:27:39,383
Great!
486
00:27:39,383 --> 00:27:41,383
Chris! Chris!
487
00:27:41,383 --> 00:27:43,967
- I'll pick you up at noon.
- Chris! Chris!
488
00:27:43,967 --> 00:27:47,217
- Chris! Chris! Chris!
- Awesome, I'm really...
489
00:27:47,217 --> 00:27:50,508
- I'm busy!
- I'm busy! Stupid dick!
490
00:27:50,508 --> 00:27:53,217
- That sounds awesome. I'll see you then.
- Bye.
491
00:27:55,592 --> 00:27:57,383
Let's go.
492
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:00,842
- What was that all about?
- Nothing.
493
00:28:00,842 --> 00:28:02,467
It's just an old
friend saying hi.
494
00:28:02,467 --> 00:28:04,467
Yeah, well, let's
keep it that way.
495
00:28:04,467 --> 00:28:07,467
- It's not a handball.
- My handball.
496
00:28:07,467 --> 00:28:09,800
Meow. Meow.
497
00:29:11,175 --> 00:29:12,550
Hey! Dumb-ass.
498
00:29:13,633 --> 00:29:14,883
Wake up.
499
00:29:14,883 --> 00:29:16,883
Hey, wake up.
500
00:29:16,883 --> 00:29:18,467
Morning.
501
00:29:21,467 --> 00:29:23,050
What?
502
00:29:23,050 --> 00:29:24,717
I need you to do me a favor.
503
00:29:24,717 --> 00:29:26,717
What do you want from me?!
504
00:29:26,717 --> 00:29:28,467
I ran into Jamie Palomino
last night.
505
00:29:28,467 --> 00:29:30,550
Here we go again.
506
00:29:30,550 --> 00:29:32,883
I'm not the same person
I was in high-school, pal.
507
00:29:32,883 --> 00:29:34,592
You'll always be fat
to me, Chris.
508
00:29:34,592 --> 00:29:36,883
What do you want from me?!
509
00:29:36,883 --> 00:29:39,425
I need you to detain Samantha.
510
00:29:39,425 --> 00:29:40,967
I could do that.
511
00:29:41,342 --> 00:29:44,717
- Chris, wait!
- It's a beautiful day.
512
00:29:44,717 --> 00:29:46,842
What about Paris?
513
00:29:46,842 --> 00:29:49,675
Look, Paris can wait. This is important.
You don't wanna be
514
00:29:49,675 --> 00:29:51,842
- out of touch with your audience, do you?
- No.
515
00:29:51,842 --> 00:29:53,842
No, well then, you need
to connect with your audience,
516
00:29:53,842 --> 00:29:55,217
you need to feed off their energy.
517
00:29:55,217 --> 00:29:57,675
After all, they're the ones who're
gonna be buying your album.
518
00:29:57,675 --> 00:29:59,717
The problem is where
in New Jersey are we gonna find
519
00:29:59,717 --> 00:30:01,842
a proper cross-section
of your fans?
520
00:30:03,175 --> 00:30:05,300
- The mall?
- A mall!
521
00:30:05,300 --> 00:30:06,758
That's a great idea!
522
00:30:08,425 --> 00:30:10,383
- We have so much in common!
- I know!
523
00:30:10,383 --> 00:30:12,383
- God.
- Let's do it to it!
524
00:30:12,383 --> 00:30:14,217
I am not going with him!
525
00:30:14,217 --> 00:30:17,383
Look, what better way to relate
to your fans than to go with one?
526
00:30:17,383 --> 00:30:19,383
In we go.
527
00:30:19,383 --> 00:30:21,925
Hey! You're not coming with me?
528
00:30:21,925 --> 00:30:24,342
No, sweetie. You need to do this alone.
529
00:30:24,342 --> 00:30:26,092
- I can't be your crutch.
- But I...
530
00:30:26,092 --> 00:30:27,550
Watch your face!
531
00:30:27,550 --> 00:30:29,342
Buckle up!
532
00:30:35,592 --> 00:30:37,633
Great. That's good.
533
00:30:37,633 --> 00:30:39,133
That's looking good.
534
00:30:42,842 --> 00:30:45,717
Great, guys. Really good.
535
00:30:47,842 --> 00:30:50,258
Mr. Palamino, how you doing?
536
00:30:50,258 --> 00:30:52,133
Well well well,
537
00:30:52,133 --> 00:30:55,383
if it isn't Mr. Valentine's Day!
538
00:30:55,383 --> 00:30:58,758
This guy, every Valentine's Day,
he'd buy Jamie like a dozen roses.
539
00:30:58,758 --> 00:31:01,633
Used to drive all
her boyfriends nuts!
540
00:31:01,633 --> 00:31:04,592
Till we explained, of course,
it was just her little friend Chris.
541
00:31:04,592 --> 00:31:06,633
Yeah, I remember that.
542
00:31:06,633 --> 00:31:09,092
You prick.
543
00:31:09,092 --> 00:31:12,050
I see you still have the best
Christmas display in town, sir.
544
00:31:12,050 --> 00:31:14,258
- Hey! In the state!
- Hey, Chris!
545
00:31:14,258 --> 00:31:16,008
I'll be right out.
546
00:31:16,008 --> 00:31:18,925
So, how'd you
lose all that weight?
547
00:31:18,925 --> 00:31:21,592
Like that retard from Subway?
548
00:31:21,592 --> 00:31:22,967
It was great
talking to you, sir.
549
00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:27,467
Are you kidding me?
550
00:31:27,467 --> 00:31:29,425
I rented the nicest Porsche
in New Jersey.
551
00:31:29,425 --> 00:31:31,217
I'm just gonna play
this whole thing aloof
552
00:31:31,217 --> 00:31:33,717
and she's gonna be eating out
of the palm of my hand in no time.
553
00:31:33,758 --> 00:31:35,758
Gotta go.
554
00:31:35,758 --> 00:31:37,592
Hey.
555
00:31:37,592 --> 00:31:41,133
Porsche. Girls must love this.
556
00:31:41,133 --> 00:31:43,842
I hate this stupid thing too.
It's a rental.
557
00:31:43,842 --> 00:31:46,842
So ostentatious.
It's all they had left.
558
00:31:52,092 --> 00:31:55,133
- God, this place hasn't changed a bit.
- I know.
559
00:31:55,133 --> 00:31:57,258
Are you sure that you don't want
to go someplace else?
560
00:31:57,258 --> 00:32:00,300
- No, we can't leave. We have history here.
- History.
561
00:32:00,467 --> 00:32:04,342
Oh my goodness,
I remember you two.
562
00:32:04,342 --> 00:32:07,592
You're not
a chubby bunny anymore.
563
00:32:07,592 --> 00:32:10,633
- Oh, my personal space.
- I'll be right back.
564
00:32:10,633 --> 00:32:13,592
I've got a little
surprise for you.
565
00:32:13,592 --> 00:32:15,925
Can't wait.
566
00:32:15,925 --> 00:32:17,467
Chubby bunny!
567
00:32:17,467 --> 00:32:20,217
Thanks for
reminding me I was fat.
568
00:32:22,175 --> 00:32:24,217
So why did you disappear
on me 10 years ago?
569
00:32:25,467 --> 00:32:27,758
Listen, about that...
570
00:32:27,758 --> 00:32:29,383
Where you that mad at me?
571
00:32:29,383 --> 00:32:32,800
Come on, Jamie. It was like
100 years ago, all right?
572
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,175
I'm not that pathetic
little dweeb anymore.
573
00:32:35,175 --> 00:32:38,967
You were never a dweeb, Chris.
574
00:32:38,967 --> 00:32:42,008
- So, tell me about your job.
- Oh my God.
575
00:32:42,008 --> 00:32:44,425
You know, once you get over
all the glamour, you know, it's...
576
00:32:44,467 --> 00:32:46,258
it's nothing but total insanity.
577
00:32:46,258 --> 00:32:49,008
You know, if it's not Pink calling
you, then you got Good Charlotte...
578
00:32:49,050 --> 00:32:52,217
it's Jay Z's birthday party, you know, and
I'm totally name-dropping right now
579
00:32:52,217 --> 00:32:54,800
and I'd really like to stop.
Mick Jagger. How 'bout you?
580
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,550
You know, what happened to you?
How'd you end up working at The Maple?
581
00:32:57,592 --> 00:32:59,467
I don't work at The Maple.
582
00:32:59,467 --> 00:33:02,092
I mean, I work at The Maple
but I don't really work at The Maple.
583
00:33:02,092 --> 00:33:03,717
- Yeah.
- I'm studying to be a teacher
584
00:33:03,717 --> 00:33:05,300
so I'm living at home
and I'm working...
585
00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:07,508
It's the coast. Be right back.
586
00:33:10,675 --> 00:33:12,758
What happened to him?
587
00:33:20,717 --> 00:33:22,467
This is gonna be a great song.
"Mall People."
588
00:33:22,508 --> 00:33:24,217
"Mall people,
they come and go...
589
00:33:24,383 --> 00:33:26,425
small people,
they just don't know."
590
00:33:26,425 --> 00:33:29,050
- How's it goin'?
- Fantastic.
591
00:33:29,050 --> 00:33:30,925
- How's it going with Jamie?
- Treating her like
592
00:33:30,967 --> 00:33:32,967
- every boyfriend she's ever had.
- You da man!
593
00:33:32,967 --> 00:33:35,342
- So I wanna run an idea by you.
- No.
594
00:33:35,342 --> 00:33:38,717
Since you're trying to hook up with Jamie,
what if I went to Paris with Samantha
595
00:33:38,717 --> 00:33:40,508
- instead of you? That way you...
- No.
596
00:33:40,508 --> 00:33:42,300
- You haven't heard the whole thing yet!
- No.
597
00:33:42,342 --> 00:33:44,842
You know what, just... just think
about it and get back to me.
598
00:33:48,758 --> 00:33:51,633
- Oh my God!
- I gotta go.
599
00:33:57,967 --> 00:34:00,258
- So, how's the coast?
- Super.
600
00:34:00,425 --> 00:34:02,800
Here we go!
601
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,508
One grilled cheese
with ranch on the side
602
00:34:05,508 --> 00:34:09,717
and one Sugar Mountain Supreme
for the chubby bunny.
603
00:34:09,717 --> 00:34:12,383
Excuse me,
604
00:34:12,383 --> 00:34:14,550
this-this... this isn't
gonna work for me.
605
00:34:14,550 --> 00:34:17,258
But this is what
you always order.
606
00:34:17,258 --> 00:34:20,258
Yeah. 10 years ago,
when I was a whale.
607
00:34:20,258 --> 00:34:23,092
The pancakes are fine.
He's just kidding.
608
00:34:23,092 --> 00:34:24,633
What?
609
00:34:26,342 --> 00:34:29,383
- Be more rude!
- She's rude! She's rude!
610
00:34:29,383 --> 00:34:31,800
I haven't had sweets
in 10 years, okay? Do you know
611
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,300
- what this would do to my stomach?
- Relax, little girl.
612
00:34:34,300 --> 00:34:37,258
I'll have the pancakes and you
can have my sandwich, okay?
613
00:34:38,508 --> 00:34:40,842
I'll just enjoy
this glass of water.
614
00:34:43,758 --> 00:34:45,467
I'm stuffed.
615
00:34:51,633 --> 00:34:54,550
Good times. Good times!
616
00:34:54,550 --> 00:34:56,092
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
617
00:34:56,092 --> 00:34:58,133
- Thanks again for lunch.
- I'll get your door.
618
00:34:58,133 --> 00:35:00,217
Okay.
619
00:35:00,217 --> 00:35:01,592
Shit.
620
00:35:06,883 --> 00:35:08,800
Yeah.
621
00:35:11,175 --> 00:35:13,633
Well, it was great
seeing you again.
622
00:35:13,633 --> 00:35:15,133
You too.
623
00:35:15,133 --> 00:35:16,633
Yeah, glad I ran
into you last night.
624
00:35:16,633 --> 00:35:18,633
Yeah, it was a surprise.
625
00:35:18,633 --> 00:35:20,633
Big surprise. Yeah.
626
00:35:20,633 --> 00:35:22,258
It's cold out here.
627
00:35:22,258 --> 00:35:24,300
Yeah, it is.
It's like the South Pole.
628
00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:27,133
It's like the deep South Pole
if there was one.
629
00:35:27,133 --> 00:35:28,925
There isn't, though.
630
00:35:28,925 --> 00:35:30,675
Thanks for walking
me to my door.
631
00:35:30,675 --> 00:35:33,592
Yeah. Again, it was
great seeing you...
632
00:35:33,592 --> 00:35:34,592
again.
633
00:35:34,592 --> 00:35:36,467
- You, too.
- Yeah.
634
00:35:36,467 --> 00:35:38,758
Take care.
635
00:35:38,758 --> 00:35:40,967
Yeah, you too.
636
00:35:43,550 --> 00:35:45,383
That's good.
637
00:35:49,175 --> 00:35:51,508
- Take care.
- You too.
638
00:36:15,967 --> 00:36:19,300
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
639
00:36:19,300 --> 00:36:21,092
What the hell?!
640
00:36:24,175 --> 00:36:26,092
God!
641
00:36:30,633 --> 00:36:32,467
Oh my God!
642
00:36:32,467 --> 00:36:35,175
It's the South Pole!
It's the deep South Pole?
643
00:36:35,175 --> 00:36:37,217
It's the South Pole.
The deep South Pole!
644
00:36:37,217 --> 00:36:39,342
I don't think there is one,
but if there was one
645
00:36:39,342 --> 00:36:41,342
I bet it would be in the south!
646
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,842
I left my gloves in the car.
647
00:37:00,592 --> 00:37:01,967
- There you go.
- Thanks.
648
00:37:14,258 --> 00:37:16,133
Hey, look who's here!
What's up, Hollywood?
649
00:37:16,133 --> 00:37:17,883
- How the big date go?
- It was terrible.
650
00:37:17,883 --> 00:37:20,258
I went in for a kiss,
but she wants a hug, okay?
651
00:37:20,258 --> 00:37:22,883
Then I get caught in a sort
of kiss-hug limbo type thing.
652
00:37:22,883 --> 00:37:26,842
I don't know what that is, then I
ended up shaking her entire body.
653
00:37:26,842 --> 00:37:29,633
So y-you gave her a body shake?
654
00:37:29,633 --> 00:37:32,967
Oh, God! I should've just kissed her!
What am I doing?
655
00:37:33,133 --> 00:37:35,717
It looks like you picked up right
where you left off.
656
00:37:35,717 --> 00:37:37,258
You're back in the friend zone.
657
00:37:38,342 --> 00:37:39,758
Oh, F...
658
00:37:54,425 --> 00:37:56,425
What?
659
00:37:56,425 --> 00:37:58,133
Little problem.
660
00:37:58,467 --> 00:38:01,217
Okay, she's got
a bit of a headache.
661
00:38:01,217 --> 00:38:03,342
It's not that bad.!
662
00:38:05,217 --> 00:38:06,342
Oh my God!
663
00:38:06,342 --> 00:38:08,800
What the hell happened to her?
664
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,300
Long story short, she fell.
665
00:38:11,300 --> 00:38:13,175
Samantha, are you okay?
666
00:38:13,175 --> 00:38:14,925
I'm gonna make bubble.
667
00:38:14,925 --> 00:38:16,717
Dude, she's fine!
668
00:38:16,717 --> 00:38:19,592
Look at her. She's having a good time.
She's got her toothpaste.
669
00:38:19,592 --> 00:38:22,550
All you had to do was watch her for a few
hours. What did you do to her?
670
00:38:22,550 --> 00:38:25,342
Nothing! She's just all
loopy from all the Vicodin.
671
00:38:25,342 --> 00:38:27,592
Where did you get the Vicodin?
672
00:38:27,592 --> 00:38:29,633
Mom.
673
00:38:29,633 --> 00:38:31,508
Blueberry!
674
00:38:31,508 --> 00:38:33,967
Okay. I'm gonna kill you.
675
00:38:33,967 --> 00:38:35,758
What?! You said detain her!
676
00:38:35,758 --> 00:38:37,717
- You're a dead man, Mike!
- She's detained!
677
00:38:41,175 --> 00:38:42,592
My balls!
678
00:38:44,758 --> 00:38:47,175
You're dead.
679
00:38:47,175 --> 00:38:49,175
No, Chris! No!
680
00:38:49,175 --> 00:38:51,175
Chris...
681
00:38:51,175 --> 00:38:52,883
Chris, no!
682
00:38:54,592 --> 00:38:56,300
- My boss! Truce!
- Truce!
683
00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:57,925
- Truce!
- Okay.
684
00:38:57,925 --> 00:38:58,883
- Hello?
- Nyah!
685
00:38:59,050 --> 00:39:00,925
Hey, Chrissy!
686
00:39:00,925 --> 00:39:02,925
How's my future star doing?
687
00:39:02,925 --> 00:39:04,675
Great. She's doing great, sir.
688
00:39:04,675 --> 00:39:06,967
So let me... let me...
let me say hi to her.
689
00:39:06,967 --> 00:39:09,175
She's a little incapacitated
at the moment.
690
00:39:09,175 --> 00:39:12,383
A little incapacitated,
that's my baby, that's my boy!
691
00:39:12,383 --> 00:39:16,217
Look, when you two get back, I've got this
incredible marketing campaign
692
00:39:16,217 --> 00:39:18,925
lined up for the spring quarter.
Our number one priority:
693
00:39:18,925 --> 00:39:22,258
- Samantha James!
- Awesome.
694
00:39:22,258 --> 00:39:25,050
Three two, one!
695
00:39:28,050 --> 00:39:31,467
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Merry Christmas!
696
00:39:31,467 --> 00:39:33,592
It's a Palamino Christmas!
697
00:39:33,592 --> 00:39:35,550
Again!
698
00:39:38,383 --> 00:39:40,383
- Hello?
- Jamie.
699
00:39:40,383 --> 00:39:42,633
- Hey.
- What's up?
700
00:39:42,633 --> 00:39:45,592
Listen, you're never gonna believe this,
but I can't get a flight out.
701
00:39:45,592 --> 00:39:47,925
I'm stuck here another day.
702
00:39:47,925 --> 00:39:49,467
I want to apologize for earlier.
703
00:39:49,467 --> 00:39:51,133
- Let me make it up to you.
- I taste good.
704
00:39:51,175 --> 00:39:53,050
Do you want to go ice skating?
705
00:39:53,050 --> 00:39:55,633
- I thought you hated ice skating.
- I used to,
706
00:39:55,633 --> 00:39:58,633
but you know, I'm actually
pretty damn good now.
707
00:39:58,633 --> 00:39:59,967
I'm the MVP
in my league, in fact.
708
00:39:59,967 --> 00:40:02,133
Come on, it'll be
like old times.
709
00:40:03,675 --> 00:40:06,675
- Hello, Joyce?
- Mom? I'm on the phone.
710
00:40:06,675 --> 00:40:10,467
Well, Chris, what are you
doing over at Joyce's?
711
00:40:10,467 --> 00:40:13,342
No, Mom. I'm in the living room,
10 feet away from you
712
00:40:13,342 --> 00:40:15,258
and I'm on the phone.
713
00:40:15,258 --> 00:40:16,758
Well, you know, I was wondering
714
00:40:16,758 --> 00:40:19,550
while I have you on the phone,
what would you like for dinner?
715
00:40:19,550 --> 00:40:23,300
We-we have a choice between chicken
chow mein or pot roast.
716
00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:25,425
Mom. Please.
717
00:40:25,425 --> 00:40:27,592
Mom!
718
00:40:27,592 --> 00:40:30,175
- Mom!
- What is it, peanut?
719
00:40:30,175 --> 00:40:31,425
Where are my ice skates?
720
00:40:31,425 --> 00:40:34,175
Oh, honey, I gave
those away years ago.
721
00:40:34,175 --> 00:40:36,175
Are you serious? I need them.
722
00:40:36,175 --> 00:40:39,425
Well, honey, why would I keep them?
You're never here.
723
00:40:39,425 --> 00:40:42,008
Besides, you-you weren't
terribly good at ice skating.
724
00:40:42,008 --> 00:40:44,008
Well, I'm good now!
725
00:40:44,008 --> 00:40:46,467
And I need my skates
to show off my talents.
726
00:40:46,467 --> 00:40:49,967
Well, honey,
I'm sure you can rent a pair.
727
00:40:49,967 --> 00:40:52,592
Besides, you don't have
to show off for Jamie.
728
00:40:52,592 --> 00:40:55,050
Just... just be yourself.
729
00:41:02,967 --> 00:41:06,342
Now, come on! Mikey and I are
making snow angels!
730
00:41:08,008 --> 00:41:09,925
I don't want to be myself.
731
00:41:12,300 --> 00:41:13,967
My snow globe collection.
732
00:41:26,217 --> 00:41:29,050
Stupid rental skates.
733
00:41:29,050 --> 00:41:31,967
You know what?
You're a lot better than before.
734
00:41:31,967 --> 00:41:34,925
- I'm wearing figure skates from the '30s.
- Here, let me help you.
735
00:41:34,925 --> 00:41:37,092
Okay, I can do it myself, okay?
I'm good. I'm good now.
736
00:41:37,092 --> 00:41:39,425
Hey.
737
00:41:41,092 --> 00:41:42,925
- So...
- So...
738
00:41:42,925 --> 00:41:47,050
- How's the love life?
- Lame.
739
00:41:47,050 --> 00:41:50,842
- Marty and I broke up a year ago.
- Another jerk?
740
00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:52,925
- "Another jerk?"
- I'm kidding...
741
00:41:52,925 --> 00:41:54,925
I'm just saying you
dated a lot of jerks
742
00:41:54,925 --> 00:41:56,883
back in high school, that's all.
743
00:41:56,883 --> 00:42:00,633
So how about you? You in love
with anyone besides yourself?
744
00:42:00,633 --> 00:42:03,842
No.
745
00:42:03,842 --> 00:42:06,675
I've really just
been dating, you know?
746
00:42:06,675 --> 00:42:09,050
Just trying to look
for my soulmate.
747
00:42:09,050 --> 00:42:10,300
You didn't buy that, did you?
748
00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:12,508
Maybe you should try harder.
749
00:42:12,508 --> 00:42:15,633
Or I could try this.
750
00:42:19,967 --> 00:42:22,675
Hey guys, it's Miss Palamino!
751
00:42:22,842 --> 00:42:24,925
Yay!
752
00:42:24,925 --> 00:42:27,050
Hi, guys.
753
00:42:27,050 --> 00:42:30,008
Sarah and Joey and Brett. Hi!
754
00:42:30,008 --> 00:42:32,883
- What, you... you know these kids?
- Yeah, I substitute teach
755
00:42:32,883 --> 00:42:35,592
- their class.
- Hey, we're having a pickup game.
756
00:42:35,592 --> 00:42:38,217
We could use some more bodies.
You guys play?
757
00:42:38,217 --> 00:42:40,883
You know Chris is a great player,
but he has rentals.
758
00:42:40,883 --> 00:42:44,383
- A good skater can skate in anything.
- Yeah!
759
00:42:44,383 --> 00:42:46,175
I'm in.
760
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:52,092
Okay, guys. Keep it clean.
761
00:42:52,092 --> 00:42:53,342
Shoot it!
762
00:42:53,342 --> 00:42:55,925
Get it in! And goal!
763
00:42:58,008 --> 00:43:01,175
- What was that?!
- You're pathetic!
764
00:43:01,175 --> 00:43:03,175
I'm sorry, okay?
765
00:43:03,175 --> 00:43:05,467
It's just these damn
rental skates.
766
00:43:05,467 --> 00:43:08,633
It's fine. Just don't cuss in front
of the children.
767
00:43:08,633 --> 00:43:10,342
Potty mouth.
768
00:43:11,925 --> 00:43:14,633
Get him, Terry!
769
00:43:17,008 --> 00:43:19,133
He hacked me!
770
00:43:19,133 --> 00:43:20,842
Wanna fight, punk?
771
00:43:20,842 --> 00:43:23,425
- What, are you kidding me?
- Fight!
772
00:43:23,425 --> 00:43:26,050
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
773
00:43:26,050 --> 00:43:29,258
All right, all right,
break it up, break it up.
774
00:43:29,258 --> 00:43:32,092
What is your problem?
She's just a child.
775
00:43:32,092 --> 00:43:34,467
- That's a girl?
- Pussy!
776
00:43:40,217 --> 00:43:43,467
- Yeah!
- All right!
777
00:43:47,717 --> 00:43:50,092
Okay, listen. We're getting
creamed out there.
778
00:43:50,092 --> 00:43:52,633
- It's his fault.
- You suck, Brander.
779
00:43:52,633 --> 00:43:55,008
- Hey.
- I brand you "Suckster."
780
00:43:55,008 --> 00:43:56,883
- Oh my... that's enough.
- Hey.
781
00:43:56,883 --> 00:43:59,383
Now Chris is trying
his best here.
782
00:43:59,383 --> 00:44:02,008
Sorry, Miss Palamino,
but he's just so terrible.
783
00:44:02,008 --> 00:44:05,300
- I'm not terrible.
- Suckster! Suckster! Suckster! Suckster!
784
00:44:05,300 --> 00:44:07,675
- Maybe you should call it a day.
- No, I can do this!
785
00:44:07,675 --> 00:44:10,217
- Suckster! Suckster. Suckster! Suckster...
- Hey!
786
00:44:10,217 --> 00:44:12,050
I'm a really good skater,
little girl!
787
00:44:12,050 --> 00:44:15,550
Watch! You might
learn something!
788
00:44:15,550 --> 00:44:17,258
I'm taking this one.
789
00:44:21,217 --> 00:44:23,592
Me?
790
00:44:31,133 --> 00:44:33,800
Chris, no!
791
00:44:45,592 --> 00:44:48,967
No!
792
00:44:50,675 --> 00:44:53,300
No slap shots!
793
00:45:05,050 --> 00:45:06,967
Suckster! Suckster!
794
00:45:06,967 --> 00:45:10,133
Suckster! Suckster! Suckster!
795
00:45:10,133 --> 00:45:12,258
Suckster! Suckster!
796
00:45:12,258 --> 00:45:15,842
- What a schmuck.
- Don't worry, Chris. You're gonna be fine.
797
00:45:23,300 --> 00:45:25,425
Well, it looks like I was
798
00:45:25,425 --> 00:45:28,175
- in the right place at the right time, Miss...
- Yeah.
799
00:45:28,175 --> 00:45:31,133
Palamino? Jamie Palamino.
800
00:45:31,133 --> 00:45:33,925
- Dusty Dinkleman?
- Yeah.
801
00:45:33,925 --> 00:45:36,508
Actually, I go by
"Dusty Lee" now, but yeah.
802
00:45:36,508 --> 00:45:39,300
- "Dutty Nee?"
- Thanks for saving me.
803
00:45:39,300 --> 00:45:41,800
Yay, Dusty!
804
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,050
- You remember Chris Brander?
- Eeh.
805
00:45:44,050 --> 00:45:46,425
- Boo...
- Oh, yeah.
806
00:45:46,425 --> 00:45:49,133
Seen better days, I guess, pal?
807
00:45:49,133 --> 00:45:51,467
Hey, listen, I don't
want to make this weird,
808
00:45:51,467 --> 00:45:53,425
but you look incredible.
809
00:45:53,425 --> 00:45:56,258
- So do you.
- Really glad you dropped in.
810
00:46:05,342 --> 00:46:07,217
Cool...
811
00:46:09,258 --> 00:46:12,592
Sorry about that, buddy.
812
00:46:12,592 --> 00:46:14,425
Here we go.
813
00:46:16,467 --> 00:46:18,508
Late '20s. Male Caucasian
814
00:46:18,508 --> 00:46:21,758
with multiple lacerations on lower
mandible and possible concussion.
815
00:46:21,758 --> 00:46:23,508
Transport en route, over.
816
00:46:23,508 --> 00:46:25,633
- 104.
- So, Jamie,
817
00:46:25,633 --> 00:46:28,383
- you still living in town?
- Oh, yeah, I just moved back.
818
00:46:28,383 --> 00:46:30,425
Oh, really? Me too.
819
00:46:30,425 --> 00:46:32,883
- It's a small world.
- No kidding.
820
00:46:32,883 --> 00:46:34,217
Jeez, you know,
821
00:46:34,217 --> 00:46:37,092
I cannot get over
how great you look.
822
00:46:37,092 --> 00:46:39,800
Me? Look at you!
823
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,050
Yeah, I guess my skin cleared up
824
00:46:42,050 --> 00:46:43,758
and I lost my stammer,
825
00:46:43,758 --> 00:46:45,925
but I still play a mean guitar.
826
00:46:45,925 --> 00:46:48,550
I'm actually only doing this part-time
till I can make it in music.
827
00:46:48,592 --> 00:46:51,675
You know, Chris is in the music business
too. He could probably help you.
828
00:46:51,675 --> 00:46:54,508
Hey. Easy there, Gretzky.
829
00:46:56,883 --> 00:47:00,425
You know, we should hang out,
you know, have lunch sometime?
830
00:47:01,508 --> 00:47:04,342
I would love to have lunch.
831
00:47:04,342 --> 00:47:06,175
Where can I give you
my phone number?
832
00:47:06,175 --> 00:47:07,633
Just write it on this.
833
00:47:12,425 --> 00:47:14,717
Jamie Palamino.
834
00:47:14,717 --> 00:47:16,383
This is bullshit!
835
00:47:16,383 --> 00:47:17,967
You haven't aged a peep.
836
00:47:21,883 --> 00:47:25,675
What do you know
about Dusty Dinkleman?
837
00:47:25,675 --> 00:47:27,050
- You mean Dusty Lee?
- Yeah.
838
00:47:27,050 --> 00:47:29,092
Works in the building,
drives ambulance. Why?
839
00:47:29,092 --> 00:47:32,675
Well check this out.
So I'm out with Jamie again...
840
00:47:32,675 --> 00:47:34,467
Another day date?
841
00:47:34,467 --> 00:47:36,967
Yes. Anyway,
842
00:47:36,967 --> 00:47:38,675
we're having a great time
843
00:47:38,675 --> 00:47:41,050
and then Dusty shows up
out of nowhere,
844
00:47:41,050 --> 00:47:43,550
and then Jamie
gives him her number.
845
00:47:43,550 --> 00:47:46,967
Hey, didn't Dusty have like
a huge crush on Jamie?
846
00:47:46,967 --> 00:47:49,425
Yeah, you got some
847
00:47:49,425 --> 00:47:51,800
competition there, Chris.
I mean, Dusty is a really nice guy.
848
00:47:51,842 --> 00:47:54,383
Yeah, well Jamie
doesn't date nice guys.
849
00:47:54,383 --> 00:47:56,050
She puts them in the friend zone
850
00:47:56,050 --> 00:47:58,008
and then tortures
the shit out of them.
851
00:47:58,008 --> 00:48:00,508
I don't know. Jamie's come
a long way since high school.
852
00:48:00,508 --> 00:48:03,175
I think she might be maturing.
853
00:48:03,175 --> 00:48:04,675
Maturing?
854
00:48:06,383 --> 00:48:08,342
So that's why
she went with Dusty.
855
00:48:08,342 --> 00:48:10,300
She wants a sensitive guy...
856
00:48:10,300 --> 00:48:12,300
more like the old me.
857
00:48:12,300 --> 00:48:14,133
Well, if she wants Mr. Rogers,
858
00:48:14,133 --> 00:48:16,133
then I'm going to show her
859
00:48:16,133 --> 00:48:18,092
the biggest pussy
she's ever seen.
860
00:48:18,092 --> 00:48:20,008
Yeah.
861
00:48:20,008 --> 00:48:22,300
Okay, we're done. Now...
862
00:48:22,300 --> 00:48:24,758
you're gonna need to wear this
for the next few days
863
00:48:24,758 --> 00:48:27,842
until those stitches
are ready to come out.
864
00:48:27,842 --> 00:48:30,508
And here you go.
Just like your old yearbook picture.
865
00:48:35,842 --> 00:48:38,050
Come in!
866
00:48:38,050 --> 00:48:40,717
- Can I come in?
- I just said that.
867
00:48:42,967 --> 00:48:45,133
I brought magazines.
868
00:48:45,133 --> 00:48:47,175
These are old.
869
00:48:47,175 --> 00:48:50,300
- Flowers?
- Those are daisies.
870
00:48:50,300 --> 00:48:53,633
- How about snacks?
- Carbs? Are you kidding me?
871
00:48:53,633 --> 00:48:55,133
I can't eat that crap.
872
00:48:55,133 --> 00:48:57,425
I'm just trying to be helpful.
873
00:48:57,425 --> 00:49:01,133
Well you're not. So vamoose.
874
00:49:01,133 --> 00:49:04,550
- I guess I'll just leave you now.
- No, wait wait.
875
00:49:04,550 --> 00:49:07,175
I'm sorry I'm being
such a biatch.
876
00:49:07,175 --> 00:49:09,717
It's just that I'm supposed
to be in Paris and I'm not,
877
00:49:09,717 --> 00:49:12,842
and I'm going out of my mind
with boredom!
878
00:49:12,842 --> 00:49:15,800
I mean, my Sidekick
broke and I...
879
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:20,050
I haven't had sex
in, like, forever.
880
00:49:20,050 --> 00:49:21,758
And I'm so horny.
881
00:49:21,758 --> 00:49:24,800
I'm horny.
882
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,133
Wait a minute.
883
00:49:28,425 --> 00:49:32,342
- How old are you?
- I'm 22... 20... 19...
884
00:49:32,342 --> 00:49:34,258
I'm... I'm 18.
885
00:49:34,258 --> 00:49:36,133
Eighteen.
886
00:49:38,758 --> 00:49:41,883
So do you really have
my poster on your wall?
887
00:49:41,883 --> 00:49:45,383
- Yeah.
- Do you ever like...
888
00:49:45,383 --> 00:49:47,383
All the time.
889
00:49:47,383 --> 00:49:49,175
How many times in a day?
890
00:49:49,175 --> 00:49:51,800
- Eight.
- Eight?!
891
00:49:56,217 --> 00:49:58,467
Eight? Oh my God, that's hot.
892
00:49:58,467 --> 00:50:01,842
- You're hot.
- I know, I know.
893
00:50:04,717 --> 00:50:07,633
Are you okay?
894
00:50:07,633 --> 00:50:09,717
Oh, my back is killing me.
895
00:50:09,717 --> 00:50:12,258
I could give you a massage.
896
00:50:12,258 --> 00:50:14,592
Would you mind?
897
00:50:14,592 --> 00:50:17,592
Not at all.
898
00:50:17,592 --> 00:50:21,258
- Oopsie, I'm naked.
- You're naked.
899
00:50:21,258 --> 00:50:23,342
Do you have any oil?
900
00:50:23,342 --> 00:50:25,842
Right back.
901
00:50:30,592 --> 00:50:31,967
What took you so long?
902
00:50:35,175 --> 00:50:37,800
- Show me what you've got, baby.
- Okay.
903
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:39,800
Baby!
904
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:41,675
More more!
905
00:50:44,217 --> 00:50:45,883
- Okay, enough. Enough!
- Okay.
906
00:50:45,883 --> 00:50:48,342
Oh, yeah.
907
00:50:52,883 --> 00:50:54,592
Hey hey.
Merry Christmas, neighbor.
908
00:50:59,300 --> 00:51:01,050
Gee... hey!
909
00:51:01,050 --> 00:51:03,050
- Yeah.
- Mikey likey,
910
00:51:03,050 --> 00:51:06,592
- Mikey likey, Mikey likey, Mikey likey...
- Yeah...
911
00:51:08,467 --> 00:51:10,550
Where the hell have you been?!
912
00:51:10,550 --> 00:51:12,383
I was getting you food.
913
00:51:12,383 --> 00:51:14,675
- Are you wearing braces?
- It's not braces.
914
00:51:14,675 --> 00:51:17,550
It's a retainer
and it's not that bad.
915
00:51:17,550 --> 00:51:21,133
- You look like a doofus!
- Doofus!
916
00:51:22,342 --> 00:51:24,800
Doofus! Doofus!
917
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:27,883
Doofus! Doofus! Doof...
918
00:51:29,633 --> 00:51:31,342
Chris?
919
00:51:31,342 --> 00:51:34,050
Mommy.
920
00:51:34,050 --> 00:51:36,925
So pretty.
921
00:51:36,925 --> 00:51:40,133
Honey, look what
just came for you.
922
00:51:40,133 --> 00:51:42,842
It's a "Get well soon"
card from Jamie.
923
00:51:46,175 --> 00:51:48,758
- Boo.
- Oh yeah?
924
00:51:48,758 --> 00:51:50,342
What do you think of that?
925
00:51:50,342 --> 00:51:53,175
It's hugs and kisses, dude.
Mom writes that on my cards.
926
00:51:53,175 --> 00:51:56,383
That's because
I love you both so much.
927
00:51:57,883 --> 00:51:59,675
Thanks, Mommy.
928
00:52:08,258 --> 00:52:10,300
Oh, God.
929
00:52:17,467 --> 00:52:19,883
Truce!
930
00:52:21,092 --> 00:52:23,133
Total pussy.
931
00:52:23,133 --> 00:52:26,175
You're the biggest pussy
on planet Earth.
932
00:52:26,175 --> 00:52:28,175
It's you.
933
00:52:31,300 --> 00:52:34,175
- Hello?
- Jamie!
934
00:52:34,175 --> 00:52:37,342
- Chris! How are you feeling?
- So much better.
935
00:52:37,342 --> 00:52:39,050
Listen, I know
it's Christmas Eve,
936
00:52:39,050 --> 00:52:42,217
- but do you have any plans tonight?
- No.
937
00:52:42,217 --> 00:52:44,050
Well...
938
00:52:44,050 --> 00:52:46,092
the revival theater in town
939
00:52:46,092 --> 00:52:48,175
is showing Nicholas Sparks's
"The Notebook."
940
00:52:50,342 --> 00:52:53,342
- Hello? I'm on the phone.
- Really you want to see "The Notebook"?
941
00:52:53,342 --> 00:52:55,717
Yes, because I love
sentimental tear-jerkers.
942
00:52:55,717 --> 00:52:57,675
I'm gonna friggin' puke.
943
00:52:57,675 --> 00:52:59,383
Just a second.
944
00:53:04,133 --> 00:53:06,758
- You are so dead. Do you hear me?
- Whatever, dude.
945
00:53:06,758 --> 00:53:08,967
- What're you doing over there?
- Faggot.
946
00:53:08,967 --> 00:53:10,842
- Nothing.
- That's my call-waiting. One second.
947
00:53:10,883 --> 00:53:12,258
- So, anyway...
- Hello?
948
00:53:12,258 --> 00:53:14,717
- Hey, Jamie. It's Dusty.
- Hey, Dusty.
949
00:53:14,717 --> 00:53:15,842
Hey, listen, just...
950
00:53:17,717 --> 00:53:19,383
Dude, I think
she left you hanging.
951
00:53:19,383 --> 00:53:22,717
It's probably just an important
business call. Get off the phone.
952
00:53:22,717 --> 00:53:25,925
- What, the bar ran out of curly fries?
- Get off the phone.
953
00:53:25,925 --> 00:53:28,050
Dude, are you gonna
boink Jamie tonight?
954
00:53:28,050 --> 00:53:30,008
Yes. Are you happy now?
955
00:53:30,175 --> 00:53:33,050
All right.
956
00:53:33,050 --> 00:53:36,133
- Dude, "The Notebook" 's so gay.
- Get off the phone!
957
00:53:36,133 --> 00:53:39,675
- Sorry about that.
- That's okay.
958
00:53:39,675 --> 00:53:41,925
- So anyway, what do you say?
- About what?
959
00:53:41,925 --> 00:53:43,925
Going to a movie tonight?
Then maybe later
960
00:53:43,925 --> 00:53:47,383
we can go for some herbal tea.
961
00:53:47,383 --> 00:53:49,758
Okay, sure.
962
00:53:49,758 --> 00:53:52,175
You know what?
You're on my way to the theater.
963
00:53:52,175 --> 00:53:53,758
Why don't I pick you up
at like 7:30?
964
00:53:53,758 --> 00:53:55,258
- It's a date.
- Homo.
965
00:53:55,258 --> 00:53:56,925
- Bye for now.
- Bye.
966
00:54:00,633 --> 00:54:03,842
Mom! Mom! Truce!
967
00:54:05,758 --> 00:54:10,050
Paris, here we come!
968
00:54:10,342 --> 00:54:13,550
- But I'm not ready to play a gig.
- Of course you are.
969
00:54:13,550 --> 00:54:16,550
No. No.
970
00:54:16,550 --> 00:54:18,092
No!
971
00:54:18,092 --> 00:54:22,550
- This is a bad idea, Chris.
- God, I'm so stupid!
972
00:54:22,550 --> 00:54:25,967
- No you're not, baby.
- Here I am, trying to nurture this artist,
973
00:54:25,967 --> 00:54:30,050
yet you're this
pop bubblegum sensation,
974
00:54:30,050 --> 00:54:33,092
and that's okay.
975
00:54:33,092 --> 00:54:34,967
Paris, here we come!
976
00:54:36,592 --> 00:54:39,383
But I am an artist.
I am an artist!
977
00:54:39,383 --> 00:54:42,175
Hey! I am an artist!
978
00:54:42,175 --> 00:54:44,967
- Let's go do this.
- Are you ready for this?
979
00:54:44,967 --> 00:54:47,842
I was born ready, bitch.
980
00:54:47,842 --> 00:54:50,133
- I'm really excited about this.
- Yeah, me too.
981
00:54:50,133 --> 00:54:52,467
- Yeah.
- Okay, let's do this.
982
00:54:52,467 --> 00:54:56,217
Yeah.
983
00:54:56,217 --> 00:54:59,383
- Hey! Wait! You're not coming with me?
- Of course I am.
984
00:54:59,383 --> 00:55:01,133
Mike's just giving you
a ride to the gig.
985
00:55:01,133 --> 00:55:03,550
I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna do
some administrative work
986
00:55:03,550 --> 00:55:05,217
and I'm gonna meet you there.
987
00:55:05,217 --> 00:55:06,925
It's open mic night
at The Coffee House.
988
00:55:06,925 --> 00:55:09,342
Coffee House is lame, dude.
Come on...
989
00:55:09,342 --> 00:55:11,008
all right!
990
00:55:11,008 --> 00:55:13,008
Think fast. Boop!
991
00:55:36,508 --> 00:55:38,467
Showtime.
992
00:55:49,425 --> 00:55:51,758
Come on! How long does it...
993
00:55:54,092 --> 00:55:56,133
- Mistletoe.
- Hello.
994
00:55:56,133 --> 00:55:58,842
- Oh my God!
- Jamie! How are you?
995
00:55:58,842 --> 00:56:02,133
You've grown into such
a beautiful young woman,
996
00:56:02,133 --> 00:56:04,383
hasn't she, Chris?
997
00:56:07,425 --> 00:56:09,050
Ding-dong.
998
00:56:10,675 --> 00:56:13,175
Dusty. Hey. Why?
999
00:56:13,175 --> 00:56:15,717
Are you kidding, man?
I love "The Notebook".
1000
00:56:15,717 --> 00:56:17,467
I mean, listen,
I know it might sound
1001
00:56:17,467 --> 00:56:19,467
a little corny,
maybe even a little femme,
1002
00:56:19,467 --> 00:56:21,217
but I find something
so resplendent
1003
00:56:21,217 --> 00:56:24,050
in the simplicity of Nicholas Sparks'
writing, you know what I mean?
1004
00:56:24,050 --> 00:56:27,508
Nice outfit, by the way.
Rock and roll.
1005
00:56:27,508 --> 00:56:29,383
Carol?
1006
00:56:29,383 --> 00:56:32,050
Oh my God.
1007
00:56:32,050 --> 00:56:34,258
- Carol...
- Dusty, oh my goodness.
1008
00:56:34,258 --> 00:56:37,050
- This is old-home week.
- Oh, absolutely.
1009
00:56:37,050 --> 00:56:41,175
- Is it okay that Dusty came?
- It's awesome that Dusty came.
1010
00:56:41,175 --> 00:56:43,258
- Thank you.
- Okay.
1011
00:56:43,258 --> 00:56:45,050
- In the hospital. We got...
- Dust!
1012
00:56:45,050 --> 00:56:47,592
Hey, let's hit the road.
1013
00:56:47,592 --> 00:56:49,258
Well, you kids have fun.
1014
00:56:49,258 --> 00:56:51,008
Carol, why don't
you come join us?
1015
00:56:51,008 --> 00:56:54,092
She's vacuuming.
1016
00:56:54,092 --> 00:56:57,550
W- well, I'd love to, but I...
I wouldn't want to impose.
1017
00:56:57,550 --> 00:57:01,717
- Oh, no imposition at all!
- No.
1018
00:57:01,717 --> 00:57:03,842
We'd love to have you,
wouldn't we, Chris?
1019
00:57:03,842 --> 00:57:07,050
Yeah, rad. Awesome.
1020
00:57:07,050 --> 00:57:08,800
Mom's coming. That's good.
1021
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:11,258
- There's a group now.
- Yes!
1022
00:57:11,258 --> 00:57:13,967
- It was us. It was us.
- Oh, my darling.
1023
00:57:13,967 --> 00:57:16,592
Oh my sweetheart.
1024
00:57:16,592 --> 00:57:19,050
I love you so much.
1025
00:57:25,675 --> 00:57:29,842
- How much time do we have?
- I'm not sure.
1026
00:57:29,842 --> 00:57:32,258
Last time it was no more
than five minutes.
1027
00:57:34,175 --> 00:57:36,467
I love you, angel.
1028
00:57:38,967 --> 00:57:40,675
What happened to me?
1029
00:57:40,675 --> 00:57:42,675
This is so gay.
1030
00:57:50,300 --> 00:57:53,967
Oh, Dusty...
1031
00:57:57,258 --> 00:58:01,592
Son of a bitch!
1032
00:58:01,592 --> 00:58:04,633
Peanut.
1033
00:58:08,425 --> 00:58:11,383
Oh, no.
1034
00:58:17,467 --> 00:58:19,383
Show us your tits!
1035
00:58:22,717 --> 00:58:23,967
Forgive this!
1036
00:58:25,092 --> 00:58:27,092
Dusty, what kind of car is this?
1037
00:58:27,092 --> 00:58:30,467
Carol, this little Japanese princess
here is called the Prius.
1038
00:58:30,467 --> 00:58:32,217
I think it's so neat
that you kids
1039
00:58:32,217 --> 00:58:34,217
care about the environment.
1040
00:58:34,217 --> 00:58:37,883
- I love the environment.
- But honey, don't you drive
1041
00:58:37,883 --> 00:58:40,842
a Range Rover? Aren't those bad?
1042
00:58:40,842 --> 00:58:43,008
Well, I had a really
nice time tonight,
1043
00:58:43,008 --> 00:58:44,675
and I hope we can
do it again soon.
1044
00:58:44,675 --> 00:58:46,842
Hey, Dusty, thanks for comin'.
1045
00:58:46,842 --> 00:58:49,050
Listen, man, it was
my pleasure, really.
1046
00:58:49,050 --> 00:58:52,092
Thank you all for having me.
It was so nice.
1047
00:58:52,092 --> 00:58:54,217
And hey, before I forget,
make sure
1048
00:58:54,217 --> 00:58:56,592
that you rinse that thing
at least twice a day, okay?
1049
00:58:56,592 --> 00:58:59,675
Your mouth is
a disgusting open cesspool
1050
00:58:59,842 --> 00:59:02,175
with germs and bacteria.
Now put that back!
1051
00:59:02,175 --> 00:59:04,258
- Christopher, put that back.
- Put it back!
1052
00:59:06,008 --> 00:59:07,550
Thanks.
1053
00:59:07,550 --> 00:59:09,633
Hey, anyone want some cocoa?
1054
00:59:09,633 --> 00:59:12,550
Oh, Carol, you are so sweet!
1055
00:59:12,550 --> 00:59:15,508
And I would love to do that,
except I volunteered at the hospital
1056
00:59:15,508 --> 00:59:17,675
so that Paul could spend
Christmas Eve with his family.
1057
00:59:17,675 --> 00:59:20,383
So, I kinda gotta get going.
1058
00:59:20,383 --> 00:59:22,217
That's a drag. God!
1059
00:59:22,217 --> 00:59:24,008
Hey, Jamie, what about you?
1060
00:59:26,008 --> 00:59:28,425
- Ready?
- Give me a Cougar roar. Cougar roar!
1061
00:59:31,508 --> 00:59:35,300
Cookie Monster says
the Cougars are
1062
00:59:35,300 --> 00:59:38,508
great big cookies
1063
00:59:38,508 --> 00:59:40,675
at the top of the jar.
1064
00:59:40,675 --> 00:59:43,633
Ladies and Gentleman,
the amazing Chris Brander.
1065
00:59:43,633 --> 00:59:45,633
Oh my gosh, I remember this.
1066
00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:50,217
He juggles three tennis balls,
but gets bored very quickly
1067
00:59:50,217 --> 00:59:52,633
and wants something else.
1068
00:59:52,633 --> 00:59:56,133
Clear!
1069
00:59:56,133 --> 00:59:58,883
Clear!
1070
00:59:58,883 --> 01:00:01,133
No kissing!
1071
01:00:01,133 --> 01:00:03,550
That's right, Jamie Palamino,
1072
01:00:03,550 --> 01:00:05,675
you're my best friend!
1073
01:00:05,675 --> 01:00:07,633
I love you, Chris Brander. Mwha!
1074
01:00:07,633 --> 01:00:10,508
Mwha, mwha, mwha!
1075
01:00:10,508 --> 01:00:14,300
Your mom's car.
You see, this is more like you.
1076
01:00:14,300 --> 01:00:17,342
Yeah, I'm gonna take it
back to I.A.
1077
01:00:20,925 --> 01:00:23,550
- What?
- Guess what I found?
1078
01:00:23,550 --> 01:00:27,217
- No, the tape I made you?
- 1995.
1079
01:00:27,217 --> 01:00:29,717
- "The Summer of Like."
- Put it in.
1080
01:00:45,258 --> 01:00:47,592
Oh, God.
1081
01:00:47,592 --> 01:00:49,633
My God,
1082
01:00:49,633 --> 01:00:51,717
I just peed a little.
1083
01:00:51,717 --> 01:00:55,217
- Good night, guys.
- Good night, Chris.
1084
01:00:59,050 --> 01:01:01,300
What's up?
1085
01:01:01,300 --> 01:01:03,258
- Little problem.
- Where are you?
1086
01:01:03,258 --> 01:01:05,175
- The Metal Shop.
- What?!
1087
01:01:05,175 --> 01:01:08,175
Hey! Hey!!
1088
01:01:08,175 --> 01:01:10,258
- That's it, bitch. It's on!
- Come on!
1089
01:01:10,258 --> 01:01:13,925
I'm gonna kill you!
Not so funny now, bitch?!
1090
01:01:13,925 --> 01:01:15,842
- Not so funny now?!
- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
1091
01:01:18,842 --> 01:01:20,967
Kudos on the
Christmas cookies, Mom.
1092
01:01:20,967 --> 01:01:23,217
Thanks, pumpkin.
I'll be back in an hour.
1093
01:01:38,133 --> 01:01:40,425
- What's up, Dude?
- Quiet, she's sleeping.
1094
01:01:40,425 --> 01:01:42,175
I'm going over to Jamie's.
1095
01:01:42,175 --> 01:01:44,050
- Did you boink her yet?
- Shut it.
1096
01:01:44,050 --> 01:01:46,133
If she wakes up,
tell her I went to meet Bono.
1097
01:01:46,133 --> 01:01:48,800
- You're gonna meet Bono? I wanna come.
- No, you walking void,
1098
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:51,633
it's a lie, but if she wakes up
just tell her I'll be back in a bit.
1099
01:01:51,633 --> 01:01:53,592
- Fine!
- Fine!
1100
01:01:55,008 --> 01:01:56,592
- I love you.
- I love you too.
1101
01:02:13,425 --> 01:02:16,175
Oh, God!
1102
01:02:25,758 --> 01:02:27,842
This is pathetic!
1103
01:02:59,383 --> 01:03:01,383
Thank you, guys. Thank you.
1104
01:03:01,383 --> 01:03:03,383
Encore! Encore! Encore!
1105
01:03:03,383 --> 01:03:05,383
Okay, all right, one more time.
1106
01:03:05,383 --> 01:03:07,925
- One more time. Okay.
- Oh yeah!
1107
01:03:07,925 --> 01:03:11,800
Here we go. You guys, you know,
1108
01:03:11,800 --> 01:03:13,467
Christmas is the time
for giving.
1109
01:03:13,467 --> 01:03:15,842
And the most precious gift
that you can give...
1110
01:03:15,842 --> 01:03:19,092
is your heart.
1111
01:03:19,092 --> 01:03:21,550
Jamie Palamino,
this is my gift to you.
1112
01:04:06,342 --> 01:04:09,092
- Where's Chris?!
- I'll never tell you anything!
1113
01:04:09,092 --> 01:04:12,175
Oh yeah?
1114
01:04:27,967 --> 01:04:30,467
Dude, Jamie's outside.
What are you doing up here?
1115
01:04:30,467 --> 01:04:32,592
I'm getting my butt
kicked by Dinkleman,
1116
01:04:32,592 --> 01:04:34,133
that's what I'm doing up here.
1117
01:04:34,133 --> 01:04:37,717
You see him play that guitar?
It's like he has 15 fingers.
1118
01:04:37,717 --> 01:04:41,175
Everybody loves him.
I can't compete with this guy.
1119
01:04:41,175 --> 01:04:44,717
You can't compete with this...
are you kidding me?
1120
01:04:44,717 --> 01:04:47,842
You're Chris Brander!
You're Hollywood. You date models!
1121
01:04:47,842 --> 01:04:50,550
He's Jersey.
He skis in his jeans!
1122
01:04:50,550 --> 01:04:52,300
It's Dinkleman.
1123
01:04:52,300 --> 01:04:54,592
It's Dusty Dinkleman.
1124
01:04:56,008 --> 01:04:58,717
- Dinkleman.
- Dinkleman.
1125
01:04:58,717 --> 01:05:01,592
- Dinkleman.
- Dinkleman!
1126
01:05:01,592 --> 01:05:04,675
- Dinkleman.
- Dinkleman's going down.
1127
01:05:04,675 --> 01:05:07,342
Dinkleman... Is going way down.
1128
01:05:07,342 --> 01:05:09,133
Atta boy.
1129
01:05:09,133 --> 01:05:11,592
Now you get out there
and you tell Jamie how you feel!
1130
01:05:11,592 --> 01:05:14,592
- Let's do this.
- Atta boy.
1131
01:05:14,592 --> 01:05:18,133
Good ol' Chris Brander,
ladies and gentlemen!
1132
01:05:34,092 --> 01:05:36,050
What the...
1133
01:05:43,675 --> 01:05:45,883
The jig is up! Run!
1134
01:05:45,883 --> 01:05:47,925
You son of a bitch!
1135
01:05:47,925 --> 01:05:51,508
Samantha! You're here! Shit!
1136
01:05:51,508 --> 01:05:53,675
There she is.
There's the little slut
1137
01:05:53,675 --> 01:05:55,550
you've been
banging behind my back!
1138
01:05:55,550 --> 01:05:57,883
- Me?
- Not you, wrinkles. Her!
1139
01:05:57,883 --> 01:06:00,467
Who are you?
1140
01:06:00,467 --> 01:06:03,300
- I'm Samantha James, bitch!
- Don't shove me!
1141
01:06:03,300 --> 01:06:06,133
- You're a whore! Santa's little whore!
- Get off!
1142
01:06:06,133 --> 01:06:08,050
- Santa's little whore!
- Cat fight!
1143
01:06:09,717 --> 01:06:11,842
- Get out!
- You're gonna pay for this.
1144
01:06:11,842 --> 01:06:13,467
I'm gonna get you fired!
1145
01:06:13,467 --> 01:06:16,008
Hope you enjoy
unemployment, dickweed!
1146
01:06:16,008 --> 01:06:17,842
Get off me, God boy!
1147
01:06:17,842 --> 01:06:21,133
But Samantha, What about the words
to your song? "Forgiveness"!
1148
01:06:21,133 --> 01:06:23,800
Forgive this, asshole.
1149
01:06:26,467 --> 01:06:29,175
I hate this town!
1150
01:06:29,175 --> 01:06:31,717
Call me.
1151
01:06:41,175 --> 01:06:42,800
- Chris?
- Yeah.
1152
01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:46,217
Little problem.
1153
01:06:47,342 --> 01:06:49,008
Duck!
1154
01:06:52,467 --> 01:06:56,092
No! Not Santa!
1155
01:07:11,258 --> 01:07:13,342
Flaming reindeer.
1156
01:07:18,467 --> 01:07:21,925
You don't see that every day.
1157
01:07:24,508 --> 01:07:27,092
Hey Chris, it's Samantha.
I just talked to my sponsor
1158
01:07:27,092 --> 01:07:29,050
and I owe you an apology.
1159
01:07:29,050 --> 01:07:30,758
It's Samantha... Call me...
1160
01:07:30,758 --> 01:07:32,550
It's Samantha!
1161
01:07:32,550 --> 01:07:35,467
Hello, Joyce?
1162
01:07:35,467 --> 01:07:38,133
Joyce?
1163
01:07:44,467 --> 01:07:46,467
Go away.
1164
01:07:46,467 --> 01:07:48,592
Go away!
1165
01:07:50,342 --> 01:07:52,592
Mom, I said I have a tummy ache.
1166
01:07:54,925 --> 01:07:56,967
Well that was
an interesting Christmas.
1167
01:07:56,967 --> 01:07:59,758
I'm sorry. I'll pay
for everything.
1168
01:07:59,758 --> 01:08:01,592
I'm not here to collect.
1169
01:08:01,592 --> 01:08:03,258
What are you doing here?
1170
01:08:03,258 --> 01:08:06,092
I want to talk to the guy
who wrote me this.
1171
01:08:11,425 --> 01:08:15,758
- Want some more?
- No. Gallon's my limit.
1172
01:08:15,758 --> 01:08:18,133
Excuse me if I'm not
one of your stick models.
1173
01:08:18,133 --> 01:08:21,008
"I'm Chris Brander. I hang out
with Good Charlotte and Pink.
1174
01:08:21,008 --> 01:08:23,592
- "I go to Jay Z's birthday party..."
- Okay, okay. All right.
1175
01:08:23,592 --> 01:08:26,300
- Thank you very much. I get it. I was lame.
- Yeah.
1176
01:08:26,300 --> 01:08:30,133
Actually, I was nervous,
but more importantly,
1177
01:08:30,133 --> 01:08:32,092
does this hat make me look fat?
1178
01:08:36,800 --> 01:08:39,425
So...
1179
01:08:39,425 --> 01:08:42,467
is your life everything
you'd hoped it'd be?
1180
01:08:42,467 --> 01:08:45,550
I always thought that
if I had a huge career
1181
01:08:45,550 --> 01:08:47,883
and famous clients
and tons of money
1182
01:08:47,883 --> 01:08:49,967
that I'd be happy.
1183
01:08:49,967 --> 01:08:52,092
And the truth is...
1184
01:08:52,092 --> 01:08:54,092
I was right.
1185
01:08:54,092 --> 01:08:56,508
I love it. Especially the money.
1186
01:08:56,508 --> 01:08:59,758
You're so bad!
1187
01:08:59,758 --> 01:09:01,592
What about you?
1188
01:09:01,592 --> 01:09:03,258
Let's put you in the hot seat?
1189
01:09:03,258 --> 01:09:05,050
Where do you see
yourself in 10 years?
1190
01:09:06,217 --> 01:09:09,758
Well, I see myself teaching.
1191
01:09:09,758 --> 01:09:13,175
And I see myself getting married
1192
01:09:13,175 --> 01:09:14,758
and raising a family.
1193
01:09:17,383 --> 01:09:18,800
What?
1194
01:09:22,008 --> 01:09:24,508
It's gettin' late.
1195
01:09:24,508 --> 01:09:26,925
Why don't I take you home?
1196
01:09:26,925 --> 01:09:28,925
Or...
1197
01:09:28,925 --> 01:09:30,842
I could sleep over
like old times.
1198
01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:50,467
God.
1199
01:09:55,592 --> 01:09:58,342
Hi.
1200
01:10:07,300 --> 01:10:09,008
- Here we are.
- Yeah.
1201
01:10:09,008 --> 01:10:11,633
Yeah.
1202
01:10:22,508 --> 01:10:24,175
This is it.
1203
01:10:24,175 --> 01:10:27,217
You're finally gonna have sex
with Jamie Palamino.
1204
01:10:27,217 --> 01:10:31,592
Oh God, look at that face.
Look at that body.
1205
01:10:31,592 --> 01:10:34,925
Why are you smiling
like a friggin' idiot?
1206
01:10:34,925 --> 01:10:37,300
Go on, make a move.
1207
01:10:37,300 --> 01:10:39,425
Make a move!
1208
01:10:41,508 --> 01:10:43,508
What's on your mind?
1209
01:10:43,508 --> 01:10:45,342
Bush.
1210
01:10:46,550 --> 01:10:49,592
President Bush,
The First Family, really.
1211
01:10:57,342 --> 01:11:00,258
Dude, you're killing me!
1212
01:11:00,258 --> 01:11:03,467
This is the girl of your
dreams. Ravish her!
1213
01:11:03,467 --> 01:11:05,675
But what if she doesn't
want to be ravished?
1214
01:11:05,675 --> 01:11:08,300
What if she wants to stay friends? Friends
don't ravish each other?
1215
01:11:08,342 --> 01:11:10,550
Friends watch
"New Year's Rockin' Eve."
1216
01:11:10,550 --> 01:11:12,342
I wonder who's
hosting this year?
1217
01:11:12,342 --> 01:11:15,633
Chris, can you put your feet on mine?
They're freezing.
1218
01:11:15,633 --> 01:11:17,383
Yeah.
1219
01:11:17,383 --> 01:11:19,550
Hell yeah.
Her feet aren't even cold.
1220
01:11:19,550 --> 01:11:21,467
This is it.
1221
01:11:21,467 --> 01:11:24,717
Don't even think about
how weird tomorrow's gonna be.
1222
01:11:27,967 --> 01:11:32,133
- Chris.
- Oh, God. Oh, God.
1223
01:11:32,133 --> 01:11:34,717
What're you doing?
Where're you going?
1224
01:11:34,717 --> 01:11:37,133
- Is everything all right?
- Everything's fine.
1225
01:11:37,133 --> 01:11:39,925
Yeah. You okay? You need
another blanket or anything?
1226
01:11:39,925 --> 01:11:41,633
No, I'm fine.
1227
01:11:41,633 --> 01:11:44,800
You're not gonna make
a move, are you?
1228
01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:47,508
- Good night, Jamie.
- Good night, Chris.
1229
01:11:47,508 --> 01:11:50,258
You don't deserve a penis.
1230
01:11:52,592 --> 01:11:54,383
God, and we had this great night
1231
01:11:54,383 --> 01:11:56,508
and we were laughing
1232
01:11:56,508 --> 01:11:59,008
and we were showing each other
old pictures and...
1233
01:11:59,008 --> 01:12:00,967
- Did he try anything?
- No!
1234
01:12:00,967 --> 01:12:04,425
- Did you try anything?
- No, but I put myself out there.
1235
01:12:04,425 --> 01:12:06,800
I mean, I wore
the sexy white shirt
1236
01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:10,425
and I did the whole cold-feet move
and we slept in the same bed.
1237
01:12:10,425 --> 01:12:13,217
What the hell is wrong with you?
I mean, why didn't you sleep with her?
1238
01:12:13,258 --> 01:12:15,133
- I know. I had her.
- I mean, are you two
1239
01:12:15,133 --> 01:12:17,217
on the same menstrual
cycle yet or what?
1240
01:12:17,217 --> 01:12:20,925
I don't know,
I don't know, I don't know.
1241
01:12:20,925 --> 01:12:23,383
Maybe I just don't compare
to these I.A. Girls.
1242
01:12:23,383 --> 01:12:25,675
Look, the timing just
wasn't right, you know?
1243
01:12:25,675 --> 01:12:30,133
I'm... I'm laying there.
I'm about to make my move
1244
01:12:30,133 --> 01:12:32,592
and then suddenly
it just hits me.
1245
01:12:32,592 --> 01:12:34,592
Where's this going?
1246
01:12:34,592 --> 01:12:36,675
What happens after
we sleep together?
1247
01:12:36,675 --> 01:12:38,758
Does she move to I.A.?
Do I move back here?
1248
01:12:38,758 --> 01:12:41,758
Jesus, Dude. I thought you just
wanted to sleep with her.
1249
01:12:41,758 --> 01:12:44,425
Maybe he just wants
to be friends.
1250
01:12:44,425 --> 01:12:47,175
Maybe he's gay.
1251
01:12:47,175 --> 01:12:49,758
I can't just sleep with Jamie Palamino.
We have a history.
1252
01:12:49,758 --> 01:12:51,967
- We're... we're... we're... we're...
- Friends.
1253
01:12:53,967 --> 01:12:55,967
God damn it!
1254
01:12:55,967 --> 01:12:58,217
I'm right back in high school again,
you know?
1255
01:12:58,217 --> 01:13:01,967
I gotta follow my own advice.
I gotta just walk away.
1256
01:13:01,967 --> 01:13:03,467
No, put me on the 3:00.
1257
01:13:03,467 --> 01:13:05,467
The sooner I get out
of here, the better.
1258
01:13:05,467 --> 01:13:08,258
- You sure about this?
- No.
1259
01:13:27,258 --> 01:13:29,592
Hey listen. I gotta hang out
1260
01:13:29,592 --> 01:13:31,467
with my friends
over there, okay?
1261
01:13:31,467 --> 01:13:34,342
I'll talk to you tonight.
1262
01:13:36,133 --> 01:13:39,467
- What's up, homies?
- You tell me.
1263
01:13:39,467 --> 01:13:41,342
- What's with the nurse?
- Oh, Janice.
1264
01:13:41,342 --> 01:13:43,842
Another bee
in the hive, my friend,
1265
01:13:43,842 --> 01:13:46,967
- just another bee.
- Well, what about Jamie?
1266
01:13:46,967 --> 01:13:48,758
What about her? I mean, hey,
1267
01:13:48,758 --> 01:13:51,342
it's great, right? Two biggest
geeks back in the day
1268
01:13:51,342 --> 01:13:53,758
now finally have a shot with the hottest
chick in high school?
1269
01:13:53,758 --> 01:13:56,592
- You can't write that stuff, my friend.
- Hey, are you kidding me?
1270
01:13:56,592 --> 01:13:59,092
Oh, come on, man.
Cut the nice guy routine.
1271
01:13:59,092 --> 01:14:01,342
I know what you're up to
and I am all for it.
1272
01:14:01,342 --> 01:14:03,800
I mean it is gonna be
sweet revenge on Jamie Palamino
1273
01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:05,842
for keeping us in the friend zone
all those years.
1274
01:14:05,842 --> 01:14:08,550
Oh, yeah, you wish you were
in the friend zone.
1275
01:14:08,550 --> 01:14:10,883
I was in the friend zone.
Friend zone's mine.
1276
01:14:10,883 --> 01:14:13,842
- Dusty, popcorn's ready.
- Copy that, I'm mobile.
1277
01:14:13,842 --> 01:14:15,675
- Listen, I gotta run.
- The man's juice!
1278
01:14:15,675 --> 01:14:17,758
You guys have a nice time.
It's been nice seeing you.
1279
01:14:17,758 --> 01:14:20,967
Have fun with Jamie. I know I will.
Clark, always a pleasure.
1280
01:14:20,967 --> 01:14:22,883
- Dinkleman.
- Son of a bitch.
1281
01:14:24,925 --> 01:14:27,175
So we're looking at day cares.
1282
01:14:27,175 --> 01:14:29,758
And Darla's got this one picked
out for TJ and it's great.
1283
01:14:29,758 --> 01:14:32,383
And you know, don't get me wrong,
I want the best for my kid.
1284
01:14:32,383 --> 01:14:34,258
I mean he deserves the best
1285
01:14:34,258 --> 01:14:37,842
but Tiny Tots is just too...
oh, Mariah Carey!
1286
01:14:41,675 --> 01:14:43,675
What the hell are you doing?!
1287
01:14:43,675 --> 01:14:46,300
This is a Pontiac Grand Prix!
1288
01:14:46,300 --> 01:14:48,300
I'm sorry, okay?!
1289
01:14:48,300 --> 01:14:51,092
But I can't let Dinkleman
get away with this!
1290
01:14:51,092 --> 01:14:54,883
I refuse to sit back and let Jamie
get used by another asshole!
1291
01:14:54,883 --> 01:14:58,425
You could've asked!
I.A. Guys are so dramatic.
1292
01:14:58,425 --> 01:15:00,883
- I'm sorry!
- Okay.
1293
01:15:07,175 --> 01:15:10,217
You know, one good snowfall
and you won't see any of this.
1294
01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:19,925
Hi, Mr. Palamino. How are you?
1295
01:15:19,925 --> 01:15:22,300
Come to destroy
the rest of the house?
1296
01:15:22,300 --> 01:15:25,050
Look, I'm really sorry
about yesterday.
1297
01:15:25,050 --> 01:15:28,675
And that.
1298
01:15:28,675 --> 01:15:31,758
Look, I know you hate me, but I need
to speak with Jamie. Where is she?
1299
01:15:31,758 --> 01:15:34,717
- She's gone off with Mr. Lee.
- Dry cleaner?
1300
01:15:34,717 --> 01:15:38,050
- No. Dusty, you jackass.
- Where are they?
1301
01:16:12,217 --> 01:16:14,800
- Chris, what're you doing here?
- I need to talk to you.
1302
01:16:18,383 --> 01:16:19,425
Dusty!
1303
01:16:20,842 --> 01:16:21,883
Yes!
1304
01:16:24,342 --> 01:16:26,592
- I really need to speak with you!
- This next number
1305
01:16:26,592 --> 01:16:28,925
- is for your favorite teacher and mine.
- Let's go.
1306
01:16:28,925 --> 01:16:31,092
She put this wonderful concert
together for all of us.
1307
01:16:31,092 --> 01:16:34,133
Give a big round of applause
to Miss Jamie Palamino.
1308
01:16:45,258 --> 01:16:47,675
God, I still can't believe
he wrote me that song.
1309
01:16:47,675 --> 01:16:50,842
I can. He's been working on that song
since high school, remember?
1310
01:16:50,842 --> 01:16:52,675
It's like the stalker's
national anthem.
1311
01:16:52,675 --> 01:16:54,967
Not to mention I already heard
that song today,
1312
01:16:54,967 --> 01:16:57,092
only it was Janice's eyes
that made him smile.
1313
01:16:57,092 --> 01:16:59,925
- Janice? Who's Janice?
- A nurse with really big boobs
1314
01:16:59,925 --> 01:17:03,425
that works at the medical center. A girl
I saw him kissing earlier tonight.
1315
01:17:03,425 --> 01:17:06,175
Dusty's a Jersey player, Jamie!
1316
01:17:06,175 --> 01:17:07,592
He's out for revenge on you
1317
01:17:07,592 --> 01:17:09,633
for putting him in the friend zone
in high school.
1318
01:17:09,633 --> 01:17:11,425
What are you talking about?
1319
01:17:11,425 --> 01:17:13,467
The guy's looking
for the anger bang!
1320
01:17:13,467 --> 01:17:16,425
Amazing! That's exactly
what he said about you.
1321
01:17:16,425 --> 01:17:18,550
- Don't you see what's happening here?
- I don't know.
1322
01:17:18,717 --> 01:17:20,967
The guy's just
out-playing me, that's all.
1323
01:17:20,967 --> 01:17:23,217
It's about you!
Now he's out-playing you!
1324
01:17:23,217 --> 01:17:25,217
- W-what am I, a game?
- No!
1325
01:17:25,217 --> 01:17:27,050
Would you guys like
to join us in a carol
1326
01:17:27,050 --> 01:17:29,675
- to celebrate the birth of our Lord?
- No!
1327
01:17:34,050 --> 01:17:37,925
My God, don't! Dusty! Don't!
1328
01:17:37,925 --> 01:17:40,175
- Dinkleman!
- What is the matter with you?
1329
01:17:40,175 --> 01:17:42,383
This is a Christmas
concert for children!
1330
01:17:42,383 --> 01:17:45,092
- You liar!
- Suckster's not your boyfriend, is he?
1331
01:17:45,092 --> 01:17:48,550
- No, he's not!
- 'Cause we like Dusty.
1332
01:17:48,550 --> 01:17:50,800
Dusty! Dusty! Dusty! Dusty!
1333
01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:52,592
Dusty! Dusty! Dusty...!
1334
01:17:54,425 --> 01:17:56,842
I'm being framed!
I'm being framed!
1335
01:17:58,133 --> 01:18:01,217
- Dusty!
- Dinkleman!
1336
01:18:01,217 --> 01:18:04,258
Man, when you come back to town,
you come back to town!
1337
01:18:04,258 --> 01:18:08,050
Look, don't sweat it.
1338
01:18:08,050 --> 01:18:10,175
We'll go to The Maple tonight
1339
01:18:10,175 --> 01:18:11,883
You can apologize to Jamie
1340
01:18:11,883 --> 01:18:15,425
and everything will be just...
just peachy.
1341
01:18:15,425 --> 01:18:17,758
Okay, yep, good.
Thanks, Clark, for everything.
1342
01:18:17,758 --> 01:18:20,133
See you in another 10 years.
Guess not.
1343
01:18:22,342 --> 01:18:24,842
How'd it go with Jamie last night?
You boink her?
1344
01:18:24,842 --> 01:18:27,258
That would be a no.
1345
01:18:27,258 --> 01:18:29,508
Raise you hand
if your brother's a homo!
1346
01:18:30,883 --> 01:18:33,217
All right. Keep in touch!
1347
01:18:37,717 --> 01:18:42,008
You believe that?
Not one taxi, not one.
1348
01:18:42,008 --> 01:18:44,592
Stupid town.
I gotta take the bus!
1349
01:18:44,592 --> 01:18:46,133
Dude, bus sucks!
1350
01:18:47,800 --> 01:18:50,758
Yes! I am outta here!
1351
01:18:52,675 --> 01:18:56,425
So long, Sucktown! Kiss my ass!
1352
01:18:58,133 --> 01:19:00,633
Hey, Mr. Bus Driver Man.
1353
01:19:00,633 --> 01:19:02,342
Hey...
1354
01:19:02,342 --> 01:19:05,842
pull my finger.
Come on, pull my finger.
1355
01:19:31,883 --> 01:19:35,383
- Great.
- Jamie!
1356
01:19:35,383 --> 01:19:38,092
- Whoa, miss, miss.
- What? What, what, wha...
1357
01:19:38,092 --> 01:19:40,425
- what, Chris? What do you want?
- I just want to apologize.
1358
01:19:40,467 --> 01:19:42,300
I'm sorry.
I was out of line, okay?
1359
01:19:42,300 --> 01:19:44,758
- You're an asshole.
- Oh, my... I was...
1360
01:19:44,758 --> 01:19:47,300
Hey, I'm gonna get you a cab
and take you home?
1361
01:19:47,300 --> 01:19:50,550
- She's so sensitive!
- You blew it. I'm winning.
1362
01:19:50,550 --> 01:19:52,883
- You're the Devil.
- So go ahead, just go sleep it off.
1363
01:19:52,883 --> 01:19:54,967
You'll be right as rain
in the morning, brother.
1364
01:19:54,967 --> 01:19:57,883
Chris, you're drunk! Go home!
1365
01:19:57,883 --> 01:20:00,342
I'm not drunk. What's this?
1366
01:20:01,467 --> 01:20:04,842
"Simply Dusty"
1367
01:20:04,842 --> 01:20:06,925
Is there any other kind?
That's adorable.
1368
01:20:06,925 --> 01:20:08,925
Do you know what else
is adorable? You two.
1369
01:20:08,925 --> 01:20:11,883
Hey! Stop bringing Dusty
into your problems, okay?
1370
01:20:11,883 --> 01:20:13,883
Dusty and I are fine.
1371
01:20:13,883 --> 01:20:16,508
- Dusty and I are friends.
- Right!
1372
01:20:16,508 --> 01:20:19,342
- Not for too long, I hope.
- Yeah...
1373
01:20:19,342 --> 01:20:20,883
Wait, what?
1374
01:20:20,883 --> 01:20:22,758
Slow down.
What did you just say?
1375
01:20:22,758 --> 01:20:25,050
Jamie, listen, I've been
meaning to talk to you.
1376
01:20:25,050 --> 01:20:27,050
I... about our relationship.
1377
01:20:27,050 --> 01:20:29,717
Maybe we could take
the next step or something?
1378
01:20:29,717 --> 01:20:31,217
Dusty, can I be honest with you?
1379
01:20:31,217 --> 01:20:33,967
- I think you're a really nice guy.
- Thank you.
1380
01:20:33,967 --> 01:20:36,258
I think you're funny
and charming and sweet,
1381
01:20:36,258 --> 01:20:39,342
and I just don't have
those feelings for you.
1382
01:20:39,342 --> 01:20:41,258
- You're kidding.
- No.
1383
01:20:45,758 --> 01:20:48,925
Okay, 'cause... cause I wrote you
that song and everything,
1384
01:20:48,925 --> 01:20:50,842
you know, and I worked
really hard on it
1385
01:20:50,842 --> 01:20:53,967
and what kind of girl would you be if you
didn't put out for the guy that wrote
1386
01:20:53,967 --> 01:20:55,925
you that song, you know what mean?
1387
01:20:57,592 --> 01:21:00,050
F- this. I'm mobile.
1388
01:21:05,675 --> 01:21:08,008
I'm gonna miss him!
1389
01:21:09,717 --> 01:21:12,133
What?
1390
01:21:14,758 --> 01:21:16,758
Get off me, Chris!
Why are you here?
1391
01:21:16,758 --> 01:21:18,342
Why do you keep
messing with my head?
1392
01:21:18,508 --> 01:21:20,592
I messed with your head
for three days.
1393
01:21:20,592 --> 01:21:23,633
You've been torturing me
since the sixth grade!
1394
01:21:23,633 --> 01:21:25,425
So that's what this is about?
1395
01:21:25,425 --> 01:21:28,258
Because I wouldn't screw you
in high school? Get over yourself!
1396
01:21:28,258 --> 01:21:31,675
After years of you
being the biggest tease,
1397
01:21:31,675 --> 01:21:34,342
trust me, I'm so over myself.
1398
01:21:34,342 --> 01:21:36,050
So now I'm the tease.
1399
01:21:36,050 --> 01:21:37,633
I practically
throw myself at you
1400
01:21:37,633 --> 01:21:39,300
the other night
and you did nothing!
1401
01:21:39,300 --> 01:21:42,925
And now you know how it feels.
1402
01:21:42,925 --> 01:21:44,883
I'm outta here.
1403
01:21:44,883 --> 01:21:47,217
Yeah, there you go.
Just walk away like you always do!
1404
01:21:47,217 --> 01:21:48,967
Oh, no no no.
I'm-I'm not walking away.
1405
01:21:48,967 --> 01:21:51,050
I'm running back
to my great life in I.A.!
1406
01:21:51,050 --> 01:21:53,592
- Great. Well, have fun.
- You have fun...
1407
01:21:53,592 --> 01:21:55,842
being the girl
who peaked in high school.
1408
01:21:55,842 --> 01:21:58,883
- Ooohh!
- You slap like a cheerleader.
1409
01:21:58,883 --> 01:22:00,925
Bye, Chris.
1410
01:22:02,842 --> 01:22:04,758
And stay out!
1411
01:22:09,842 --> 01:22:11,425
I've always wanted to say that.
1412
01:23:21,842 --> 01:23:23,425
How did you get in here?
1413
01:23:23,425 --> 01:23:25,758
My bodyguard let me in.
1414
01:23:25,758 --> 01:23:28,508
I was making cookies.
1415
01:23:28,508 --> 01:23:30,217
I was trying
to be all domesticated
1416
01:23:30,217 --> 01:23:32,467
like that skank you were
banging behind my back.
1417
01:23:32,467 --> 01:23:33,925
Please leave me alone.
1418
01:23:35,050 --> 01:23:37,050
No!
1419
01:23:37,050 --> 01:23:38,717
Hugs and kisses!
1420
01:23:38,717 --> 01:23:42,133
It's all good, baby,
it's all good.
1421
01:23:42,133 --> 01:23:45,217
By making me jealous on purpose
you inspire me to write the best songs,
1422
01:23:45,217 --> 01:23:47,050
you know,
full of angst and hate!
1423
01:23:47,050 --> 01:23:49,842
You like that.
You and I are gonna be
1424
01:23:49,842 --> 01:23:51,925
the greatest musical
manager team
1425
01:23:51,925 --> 01:23:54,300
since Jessica Simpson
and her father...
1426
01:23:54,300 --> 01:23:56,383
only we get to "mreow"
and they can't,
1427
01:23:56,383 --> 01:23:58,967
'cause it's illegal.
I looked it up.
1428
01:23:58,967 --> 01:24:02,550
This is the new and improved
"Forgiveness."
1429
01:24:15,633 --> 01:24:18,050
Are you sorry?
1430
01:24:24,425 --> 01:24:26,175
- No.
- No?
1431
01:24:26,175 --> 01:24:29,175
- No more.
- But I've forgiven you!
1432
01:24:29,175 --> 01:24:31,383
It's just like the song...
1433
01:24:31,383 --> 01:24:34,800
This isn't about you.
1434
01:24:34,800 --> 01:24:37,175
It's cool, you can have other girls.
I like girls.
1435
01:24:37,175 --> 01:24:39,050
Darla!
1436
01:24:39,050 --> 01:24:41,133
I don't want other girls.
1437
01:24:41,300 --> 01:24:42,842
I want one girl.
1438
01:24:44,258 --> 01:24:46,217
That's not you.
1439
01:24:51,883 --> 01:24:53,258
Look. I'll call...
1440
01:25:01,717 --> 01:25:04,133
- Why don't you like me?
- It's a little hard to answer
1441
01:25:04,133 --> 01:25:06,133
with a taser in my balls!
1442
01:25:06,133 --> 01:25:08,842
This is about Santa's
little whore, isn't it?
1443
01:25:12,550 --> 01:25:14,592
Yeah, it's go time.
1444
01:25:14,592 --> 01:25:15,925
Hey, hey, hey! It's not go time!
1445
01:25:15,925 --> 01:25:17,925
This isn't how it works,
Samantha.
1446
01:25:17,925 --> 01:25:21,508
You can't force or-or torture
someone into liking you.
1447
01:25:21,508 --> 01:25:23,133
The big speech.
1448
01:25:23,133 --> 01:25:24,925
No! You just have to put
yourself out there
1449
01:25:24,925 --> 01:25:26,217
and hope that they
like you back.
1450
01:25:26,217 --> 01:25:28,092
This isn't a game!
This is my life!
1451
01:25:28,092 --> 01:25:30,008
Oh, yeah, well, this is my life!
1452
01:25:30,008 --> 01:25:31,925
Okay? I'm sorry.
1453
01:25:31,925 --> 01:25:35,050
I'm not the most
boring person ever!
1454
01:25:35,050 --> 01:25:36,633
Okay? I'm sorry I'm not poor!
1455
01:25:37,717 --> 01:25:39,550
I'm sorry...
1456
01:25:39,550 --> 01:25:42,967
I'm sorry I don't
have a fat ass!
1457
01:25:42,967 --> 01:25:45,633
I'm sorry I'm not...
where're you going?
1458
01:26:02,758 --> 01:26:04,217
Hey! Hey, where is she?
1459
01:26:20,008 --> 01:26:22,008
Hi.
1460
01:26:22,008 --> 01:26:24,133
Jamie. Look, Jamie!
1461
01:26:26,050 --> 01:26:28,175
I said a lot of really crappy
things the other night
1462
01:26:28,175 --> 01:26:31,217
and I'm sorry about that.
1463
01:26:31,217 --> 01:26:33,800
I haven't been a very good friend
to you and I'm sorry, okay?
1464
01:26:33,800 --> 01:26:37,842
I just... the truth is
I'm-I'm afraid to be your friend
1465
01:26:37,842 --> 01:26:39,675
'cause I'm always
gonna want more.
1466
01:26:40,800 --> 01:26:42,550
But then I got
to thinking that-that
1467
01:26:42,550 --> 01:26:45,300
I'd rather have you in my life
as a friend than not at all.
1468
01:26:48,717 --> 01:26:50,633
You know what? That's a lie too.
1469
01:26:55,050 --> 01:26:56,842
Why are you back here?
1470
01:26:58,800 --> 01:27:00,592
Because I want
to take you on a date.
1471
01:27:02,633 --> 01:27:05,508
And I don't care if it's
in the day or at night
1472
01:27:05,508 --> 01:27:08,967
or whenever, as long
as it's a real date.
1473
01:27:08,967 --> 01:27:12,133
And I want to tell you how beautiful
I think you are inside and out.
1474
01:27:13,300 --> 01:27:15,592
And I want to have
babies with you
1475
01:27:15,592 --> 01:27:18,550
and I want to marry you
and I love you.
1476
01:27:20,008 --> 01:27:22,050
Jamie, I always have.
1477
01:27:28,258 --> 01:27:30,467
Sorry. Just...
1478
01:27:30,467 --> 01:27:32,383
20 years all at once!
1479
01:27:54,633 --> 01:27:55,758
Unbelievable!
1480
01:27:55,758 --> 01:27:57,842
Suckster's making out
with Mrs. P!
1481
01:27:57,842 --> 01:28:00,133
What is she thinking?
1482
01:28:00,133 --> 01:28:03,342
- Hey, Sarah, do you want my last cookie?
- Thanks, Brett!
1483
01:28:03,342 --> 01:28:05,550
Hey, Joey, do you want
some of my cookie?
1484
01:28:05,550 --> 01:28:07,217
Don't mind if I do.
1485
01:28:07,217 --> 01:28:10,508
- You're such a good friend, Brett.
- The bestest!
1486
01:28:11,842 --> 01:28:12,592
Oh, shit!
1487
01:28:13,842 --> 01:28:17,800
Blu-ray authoring:
Wojciech Janio and Agata Wactawiak
102712
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