Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,740
I will never sell this company.
A buyout is not an option.
2
00:00:07,742 --> 00:00:09,208
You know what "buyout" means?
3
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:11,310
- They buy us, we're out.
- Okay,
4
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:13,012
just listen to me. The Hamasaki people...
5
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:14,480
they promise that nothing's gonna change.
6
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:16,081
L... They're a very
7
00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:19,018
- ethical corporation.
- Ethical corporation? That's like saying
8
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:21,553
a pro-choice Republican
or a partial circumcision.
9
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:22,921
They don't exist.
10
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:25,124
Sydney, we want to know
11
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:27,593
- what you think.
- Yeah, let's hear what my daughter has to say.
12
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:28,760
Okay, um,
13
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:30,629
well, I... I see both sides of it.
14
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,664
You know, a big corporation
would give us leverage
15
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:35,067
and... and open certain
doors. But, on the other hand,
16
00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:36,717
I'd be worried about
our creative autonomy...
17
00:00:36,718 --> 00:00:38,494
Okay, you know what, you're
not even an equity partner.
18
00:00:38,504 --> 00:00:41,206
- She doesn't get to vote.
- Yeah, why'd we even ask her?
19
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:42,407
Simon, do you understand what kind
20
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:43,709
of money we're talking about?
21
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,510
This is "make your own species" money.
22
00:00:45,512 --> 00:00:47,112
I want one of those tiny giraffes
23
00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:48,613
like the guy has on the commercial.
24
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,515
Well, we all want that,
Gordon, but at what price?
25
00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:52,584
What price, Gordon? All right,
you know what? You give me
26
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:55,220
- no choice. I'm gonna call a meeting...
- What?
27
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:56,855
With the board.
28
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,225
You monster.
29
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:00,508
- That's right.
-Why is Simon so scared of the board?
30
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:01,960
Because the board's made up of people
31
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:03,195
who only care about money.
32
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:04,596
And my mother.
33
00:01:20,555 --> 00:01:22,182
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
34
00:01:22,603 --> 00:01:24,269
Hey, Allie, Maytag can't make the meeting.
35
00:01:24,271 --> 00:01:25,704
Do you mind canceling my reservation?
36
00:01:25,706 --> 00:01:28,440
- Sure, I'll take care of it.
- Thanks.
37
00:01:28,442 --> 00:01:31,223
Oh, Andrew, guess what? I got
us reservations at Joe Port's.
38
00:01:31,228 --> 00:01:33,745
All you can eat shrimp buffet. Splash.
39
00:01:35,648 --> 00:01:37,849
Did you just... take my reservation?
40
00:01:37,851 --> 00:01:39,784
Is that okay? It's
just, you didn't want it,
41
00:01:39,786 --> 00:01:41,219
so I kind of just swooped in.
42
00:01:41,221 --> 00:01:42,787
Yeah, of course you did.
43
00:01:42,789 --> 00:01:44,823
Are you sure? 'Cause it seems like you...
44
00:01:44,825 --> 00:01:46,124
you're having second thoughts.
45
00:01:46,126 --> 00:01:48,493
I know sometimes I have
something and I think I don't
46
00:01:48,495 --> 00:01:50,862
want it and then once it's gone,
I realize I made a big mistake.
47
00:01:50,864 --> 00:01:52,730
Do you think you're making
a big mistake, Sydney?
48
00:01:52,732 --> 00:01:55,466
Just take him. It. The. Reser...
49
00:01:55,468 --> 00:01:58,603
vation for... Eat. Food.
50
00:01:59,705 --> 00:02:01,873
Simon, your ex-wife is on her way up.
51
00:02:01,875 --> 00:02:03,775
I had a feeling Paige was
here. My body temperature
52
00:02:03,777 --> 00:02:05,843
dropped three degrees. Everyone.
53
00:02:05,845 --> 00:02:07,879
It's on its way up,
54
00:02:07,881 --> 00:02:09,313
so don't make any sudden movements.
55
00:02:09,315 --> 00:02:12,150
Just play dead until it leaves
with half of everything you own.
56
00:02:12,152 --> 00:02:13,985
Hello, hello, hello.
57
00:02:13,987 --> 00:02:17,155
I got everyone mittens from Greenland.
58
00:02:17,157 --> 00:02:18,856
your mom seems kind of fun.
59
00:02:18,858 --> 00:02:20,324
Yup, that's the problem.
60
00:02:20,326 --> 00:02:22,460
My therapist refers to
her as the lighthouse.
61
00:02:22,462 --> 00:02:24,228
When her light shines on you, it's great.
62
00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:27,198
And then, when it's off you,
you're just left in the dark
63
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,934
to crash on the rocks
of childhood neuroses.
64
00:02:29,936 --> 00:02:31,802
Mother.
65
00:02:31,804 --> 00:02:35,339
Oh, honey, you look
66
00:02:35,341 --> 00:02:37,274
wonderful. Give me a big...
67
00:02:37,276 --> 00:02:40,011
Oh, Zach, no, not the red ones.
68
00:02:40,013 --> 00:02:41,278
You look much better in blue.
69
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:42,913
- No. Oh.
- What? Paige said.
70
00:02:42,915 --> 00:02:45,282
Okay.
71
00:02:45,284 --> 00:02:47,051
- Hello, Simon.
- Paige.
72
00:02:47,053 --> 00:02:50,220
Have you gotten shorter or
have you just lost more hair?
73
00:02:50,226 --> 00:02:52,490
I didn't recognize you with
so much face behind your ears.
74
00:02:56,094 --> 00:02:57,228
Allie Cat.
75
00:02:57,230 --> 00:03:00,364
- Oh. Hi.
- Ah, Mega-tron. Hi.
76
00:03:00,366 --> 00:03:02,603
This is my BFF, Megan.
77
00:03:02,614 --> 00:03:03,667
- The one I told you about.
- Andrew.
78
00:03:03,669 --> 00:03:05,269
- Hi.
- Champion gymnast in high school.
79
00:03:05,271 --> 00:03:07,471
Ooh. She can still put
both legs behind her head.
80
00:03:07,473 --> 00:03:08,806
Three, two, one.
81
00:03:08,808 --> 00:03:11,008
Hi.
82
00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:13,344
I'm... I'm Zachary. I'm
sort of Andrew's BFF.
83
00:03:13,346 --> 00:03:14,812
Although we don't usually put it like that
84
00:03:14,814 --> 00:03:17,781
- because we're adult males.
- And F is a long, long time.
85
00:03:17,783 --> 00:03:18,490
It sure is.
86
00:03:18,491 --> 00:03:20,577
Okay, well, we are gonna go
grab some coffee downstairs.
87
00:03:20,653 --> 00:03:22,920
- It was nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
88
00:03:25,590 --> 00:03:28,392
Did you see that? With the
laughing and the touching
89
00:03:28,394 --> 00:03:30,961
- on the arm?
- Yeah, Fonzie, she totally wants it.
90
00:03:30,963 --> 00:03:33,163
Yeah. Maybe she was just being polite.
91
00:03:33,165 --> 00:03:34,087
Do you ever consider that?
92
00:03:34,088 --> 00:03:35,717
I mean, she's Allie's best friend...
93
00:03:35,768 --> 00:03:38,502
she probably... she probably
feels an obligation to...
94
00:03:38,504 --> 00:03:41,705
- No, she wants to be fixed up with you.
- Nice. Okay, let's craft a reply.
95
00:03:41,707 --> 00:03:42,839
Something that says I'm interested but
96
00:03:42,841 --> 00:03:43,974
not jumping out of my seat.
97
00:03:43,976 --> 00:03:46,910
"He... says... no." Send.
98
00:03:46,912 --> 00:03:49,179
Uh, that was maybe a
little too standoffish,
99
00:03:49,181 --> 00:03:52,249
- 'cause...
- Look, I love you like a brother but you are a dog.
100
00:03:52,251 --> 00:03:54,217
And I think that's great.
But Megan and Allie...
101
00:03:54,219 --> 00:03:55,318
they... they're best friends.
102
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,356
This could only end up
biting me in the ass.
103
00:03:57,358 --> 00:04:00,223
Hey, listen, I can be a good guy.
104
00:04:00,225 --> 00:04:03,827
I promise. I will be a perfect gentleman.
105
00:04:05,530 --> 00:04:08,031
All right. I'm gonna so regret this.
106
00:04:08,033 --> 00:04:10,834
Yes. Andrew, you are my BF. Possibly for F.
107
00:04:10,836 --> 00:04:13,203
It's important that you B in me.
108
00:04:13,205 --> 00:04:16,973
"B" is believe. I meant believe.
109
00:04:16,975 --> 00:04:20,176
Let's not ask ourselves what we
gain when we sell the company.
110
00:04:20,204 --> 00:04:22,872
Let's ask ourselves what we lose.
111
00:04:22,874 --> 00:04:24,774
I believe we lose our freedom.
112
00:04:24,776 --> 00:04:27,510
As Braveheart said to us
in blue face and a mullet,
113
00:04:27,512 --> 00:04:29,211
"We must tell our enemies"
114
00:04:29,213 --> 00:04:31,647
they may take our lives...
115
00:04:31,649 --> 00:04:34,817
but they'll never take our freedom."
116
00:04:34,819 --> 00:04:37,186
And I believed him, but that
was before the anti-Semitic rants
117
00:04:37,188 --> 00:04:38,888
and trying to kill his mail-order bride.
118
00:04:38,890 --> 00:04:41,924
I'd like to leave you with
the words of Albert Camus.
119
00:04:41,926 --> 00:04:45,494
"Without freedom, there is no art."
120
00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:49,331
Okay.
121
00:04:57,140 --> 00:05:00,542
$47 million.
122
00:05:03,513 --> 00:05:04,580
How did the vote go?
123
00:05:04,582 --> 00:05:06,215
It was a tie.
124
00:05:06,217 --> 00:05:08,550
What... how is that possible?
There are nine board members.
125
00:05:08,552 --> 00:05:10,652
Mm, I guess I'm the deciding vote.
126
00:05:10,654 --> 00:05:13,222
And you know how much I hate
being the center of attention.
127
00:05:13,224 --> 00:05:15,691
So, what are you gonna do?
You gonna side with the man who
128
00:05:15,693 --> 00:05:18,627
stole your youth or go with
the non-threatening gay guy
129
00:05:18,629 --> 00:05:20,262
who always tells you how young you look?
130
00:05:20,264 --> 00:05:21,997
Mom, you have to leave
personal stuff out...
131
00:05:21,999 --> 00:05:24,066
I'm saying this to the woman
that fought for the beach house
132
00:05:24,068 --> 00:05:25,867
in the divorce and then
sold it for a dollar
133
00:05:25,869 --> 00:05:26,902
just to piss my dad off.
134
00:05:26,904 --> 00:05:28,670
- What?
- Did I never tell you that?
135
00:05:28,672 --> 00:05:29,805
Kind of defeats the purpose.
136
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:32,007
Well, I can imagine your pain.
137
00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:39,938
You're as hairy as a lowland gorilla.
138
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,424
Heredity's not been kind
to me. I can't dispute that.
139
00:05:42,439 --> 00:05:43,942
You're an average driver. At best.
140
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,377
- Lauren, please. I know you're...
- Yeah.
141
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:46,912
trying to help, but you need to hit harder.
142
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,513
I need to become immune to Paige's attacks.
143
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,749
- But I feel terrible.
- I know this pains you.
144
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,784
But I need you to hit me with the worst.
145
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,019
Break out...
146
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,454
the nuclear option.
147
00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:01,727
"Simon Roberts.
148
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,495
You left Sydney at the mall.
149
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:05,797
- You know it's not true. Uh-huh.
- "She had to sit there alone at
150
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:08,033
Spencer's Gifts next to the dancing cactus.
151
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,101
Every time she cried, it
would just dance harder."
152
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:14,239
"* You live at the mall
now, you live at the... *"
153
00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:15,707
I have never left Sydney at the mall.
154
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,543
You did. That's why you'll never admit
155
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,212
that the hairy alcoholic in this family
156
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:21,980
is the more responsible parent.
157
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:24,282
- Okay. Maybe we just...
- Yeah. Let's try that again.
158
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:25,984
- Go through that again. Okay?
- Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
159
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,886
- Don't do the mall thing again, I mean, don't do the...
- Okay.
160
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,955
I was thinking I should
take you away this weekend.
161
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:32,590
We could spend a fortune on fancy clothes,
162
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:36,528
go to Vegas, return everything on Monday.
163
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,329
Come on, it'll be fun, I promise.
164
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:40,331
Yeah, I... I don't know.
I mean, you say that,
165
00:06:40,398 --> 00:06:42,699
and then somehow you wind up
in Tangiers with your trainer
166
00:06:42,701 --> 00:06:44,968
and I'm left standing on a
street corner waiting for you
167
00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:47,170
- in a bandage dress and hooker boots, and that...
- Yeah,
168
00:06:47,172 --> 00:06:49,472
I get it. We've had some miscommunications.
169
00:06:52,009 --> 00:06:54,510
All right. It's none of my business,
170
00:06:54,512 --> 00:06:55,878
but, um...
171
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,847
can I tell you the most
important thing I've learned
172
00:06:57,849 --> 00:06:59,849
in my 29 years on this planet?
173
00:06:59,851 --> 00:07:02,919
You only regret the things you didn't do.
174
00:07:02,921 --> 00:07:05,088
Are you telling me you
actually regret something?
175
00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:07,490
Not spending more time with
you when I had the chance.
176
00:07:07,492 --> 00:07:11,027
And saying no to a romantic
evening with Loni Anderson.
177
00:07:12,297 --> 00:07:13,696
Or was it Louie Anderson?
178
00:07:13,698 --> 00:07:16,399
Well, either way it would
have been a fine story.
179
00:07:16,401 --> 00:07:19,569
Let's talk about it more
over a cup of scotch.
180
00:07:19,571 --> 00:07:22,038
- Come on.
- Don't you mean coffee?
181
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,440
No.
182
00:07:24,442 --> 00:07:28,811
And this is me doing
the splits at nationals.
183
00:07:28,813 --> 00:07:30,146
The trick is to...
184
00:07:30,148 --> 00:07:33,215
completely relax your pelvic bone.
185
00:07:33,217 --> 00:07:35,484
You know, I could show
you later if you want.
186
00:07:35,486 --> 00:07:38,521
Sports... are so great.
187
00:07:38,523 --> 00:07:40,756
It's just... good clean fun.
188
00:07:40,758 --> 00:07:43,559
You need to relax.
189
00:07:43,561 --> 00:07:44,894
You know what you need?
190
00:07:45,830 --> 00:07:47,196
You need to...
191
00:07:50,668 --> 00:07:51,867
I...
192
00:07:51,869 --> 00:07:53,569
have butter.
193
00:07:53,571 --> 00:07:55,204
I'm gonna get you a refill.
194
00:07:55,206 --> 00:07:56,405
- Okay.
- Andrew,
195
00:07:56,407 --> 00:07:57,973
can I talk to you for a second?
196
00:07:57,975 --> 00:08:00,643
- Let me top you up.
- Okay.
197
00:08:02,045 --> 00:08:03,412
This girl is crazy.
198
00:08:03,414 --> 00:08:05,848
She told me that she wants
to go home with me and... and
199
00:08:05,850 --> 00:08:07,750
- do things.
- This is unbelievable.
200
00:08:07,752 --> 00:08:10,177
You made me a promise. Tonight's
about being a gentleman.
201
00:08:10,178 --> 00:08:11,887
I know. That's why I brought you over here
202
00:08:11,889 --> 00:08:14,556
because I need your strength.
I need you to talk me down
203
00:08:14,558 --> 00:08:16,959
because, listen... listen to
me, this is what she wants to do.
204
00:08:16,961 --> 00:08:18,627
Come here. She wants to...
205
00:08:21,698 --> 00:08:23,165
No, you have to do that.
206
00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:25,834
But afterwards, you are a gentleman, okay?
207
00:08:25,836 --> 00:08:28,437
You sleep over. She wants to
have brunch, you have brunch.
208
00:08:28,439 --> 00:08:30,939
She wants to go to a museum,
you go to the museum, okay?
209
00:08:30,941 --> 00:08:33,675
There's a lot riding on this.
This is not just about you.
210
00:08:33,677 --> 00:08:35,644
Hey. N... no, this is not... this is...
211
00:08:35,646 --> 00:08:38,747
I'm gonna be thinking
about you the entire time.
212
00:08:42,887 --> 00:08:45,922
I hope you're in the mood
for my chicken parmigiana.
213
00:08:45,924 --> 00:08:48,291
Sounds delicious.
214
00:08:48,293 --> 00:08:50,093
Speaking of Italians,
215
00:08:50,095 --> 00:08:53,029
remember how hard I had to
fight you for that Maserati?
216
00:08:53,031 --> 00:08:55,498
- The one you parked in Lake Michigan?
- Yeah.
217
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:56,366
I'm fun.
218
00:08:56,368 --> 00:08:58,935
Big... fun.
219
00:08:59,937 --> 00:09:01,037
New necklace?
220
00:09:01,039 --> 00:09:03,506
- Yeah, Gordon gave it to me.
- Really?
221
00:09:03,508 --> 00:09:05,341
How randomly generous of him.
222
00:09:05,343 --> 00:09:07,343
This place is so adorable.
223
00:09:07,345 --> 00:09:09,179
- Oh, thanks.
- See?
224
00:09:09,181 --> 00:09:10,613
Aren't you glad I got the big house
225
00:09:10,615 --> 00:09:12,215
on the North Shore in the divorce?
226
00:09:12,217 --> 00:09:14,771
- Oh, yeah.
- I mean, this place is so much easier to manage.
227
00:09:14,778 --> 00:09:16,886
I should've thanked you for that years ago.
228
00:09:16,888 --> 00:09:19,522
- Oh, you were so much angrier then.
- Yeah.
229
00:09:19,524 --> 00:09:21,291
Remember you always used to make that face.
230
00:09:21,293 --> 00:09:22,225
What face?
231
00:09:22,227 --> 00:09:23,026
That face.
232
00:09:24,295 --> 00:09:25,328
Remember how mad you'd get
233
00:09:25,330 --> 00:09:27,063
every time I mentioned that terrible day
234
00:09:27,065 --> 00:09:28,431
you left Sydney in the mall?
235
00:09:28,433 --> 00:09:31,034
Who likes to be reminded of
their own negligence, you know?
236
00:09:35,140 --> 00:09:36,372
Gazpacho?
237
00:09:36,374 --> 00:09:37,440
No, I hate your soup.
238
00:09:37,442 --> 00:09:39,008
You know, I really love
239
00:09:39,010 --> 00:09:40,076
the new Simon.
240
00:09:40,078 --> 00:09:42,345
- Thanks.
- Finally taking responsibility.
241
00:09:42,347 --> 00:09:45,381
Can I let you in on a
little secret about the vote?
242
00:09:45,383 --> 00:09:46,215
Please do.
243
00:09:46,217 --> 00:09:48,517
I'm leaning your way.
244
00:09:51,289 --> 00:09:52,955
That was incredible.
245
00:09:52,957 --> 00:09:56,926
That was like having a front row
seat at a gymnastics tournament.
246
00:09:56,928 --> 00:09:58,928
So, um...
247
00:09:58,930 --> 00:10:01,097
what do you want to do now?
248
00:10:01,099 --> 00:10:03,299
I'm, uh, open to cuddling.
249
00:10:08,071 --> 00:10:10,372
Yeah, that's right. I offered to cuddle.
250
00:10:10,374 --> 00:10:13,442
I wish Andrew could see this.
251
00:10:13,444 --> 00:10:15,211
I'm really proud of you, bud.
252
00:10:15,213 --> 00:10:16,845
Thanks, man.
253
00:10:16,847 --> 00:10:18,981
- Why am I dressed like Ebenezer Scrooge?
- You know,
254
00:10:18,983 --> 00:10:21,317
I don't know. I guess I just
figured that's how you slept.
255
00:10:21,319 --> 00:10:22,484
That's funny.
256
00:10:22,486 --> 00:10:23,686
- Hey.
- Hey.
257
00:10:23,688 --> 00:10:25,154
Do you want to go to a wedding?
258
00:10:25,156 --> 00:10:26,689
Excuse me?
259
00:10:26,691 --> 00:10:28,123
- Wouldn't that be freakin' nuts?
- I mean,
260
00:10:28,125 --> 00:10:31,560
maybe it's the alcohol talking
but I kind of want you to come.
261
00:10:31,562 --> 00:10:33,262
Huh.
262
00:10:33,264 --> 00:10:34,630
Okay.
263
00:10:34,632 --> 00:10:36,398
That's big, right?
264
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,167
Huge.
265
00:10:39,869 --> 00:10:41,904
A little over the top.
266
00:10:41,906 --> 00:10:43,439
Just the outfit. I got inspi...
267
00:10:43,441 --> 00:10:45,674
But, no, weddings, that's boyfriend stuff.
268
00:10:45,676 --> 00:10:47,576
It's too much, it's too soon.
269
00:10:47,578 --> 00:10:49,912
Not for Zach OS 7.
270
00:10:49,914 --> 00:10:51,914
Not for New Age Zach.
271
00:10:51,916 --> 00:10:55,517
Old Zach, he would've run
from this apartment really far.
272
00:10:55,519 --> 00:10:57,819
He would've waited two weeks and maybe
he would've Facebooked her roommate.
273
00:10:57,821 --> 00:11:00,622
Zach OS 7, he stays.
274
00:11:00,624 --> 00:11:02,858
He stays.
275
00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:05,027
I will go to this wedding.
276
00:11:05,029 --> 00:11:07,896
And I will not Facebook your roommate.
277
00:11:08,731 --> 00:11:10,766
Thank you.
278
00:11:17,127 --> 00:11:19,696
You don't think Allie's
high-waisted, do you?
279
00:11:19,698 --> 00:11:21,230
- Why?
- Well, your mom was just telling me
280
00:11:21,232 --> 00:11:22,999
how happy she was about my relationship,
281
00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:25,201
and then she offhandedly
mentioned that Allie's waist
282
00:11:25,203 --> 00:11:27,470
seemed like it was right below her armpits.
283
00:11:27,472 --> 00:11:30,339
And, uh, now I can't get
that image out of my mind.
284
00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:32,909
Well, I... long legs
are a good thing, right?
285
00:11:32,911 --> 00:11:36,612
Oh. Yeah. That's what I thought.
286
00:11:36,614 --> 00:11:38,414
Oh,
287
00:11:38,416 --> 00:11:39,315
you're in a good mood.
288
00:11:39,317 --> 00:11:40,550
I am.
289
00:11:40,552 --> 00:11:41,884
It's been nice having Mom around.
290
00:11:41,886 --> 00:11:43,452
I forgot how much fun she can be.
291
00:11:43,454 --> 00:11:44,687
Yeah. Did I tell you we went
292
00:11:44,689 --> 00:11:46,122
to an open house that
she was interested in?
293
00:11:46,124 --> 00:11:47,423
Did she go through the medicine cabinets?
294
00:11:47,425 --> 00:11:48,991
Yeah. But then afterwards she talked
295
00:11:48,993 --> 00:11:51,193
about maybe setting up
a home base in Chicago.
296
00:11:51,195 --> 00:11:52,995
Well, you know your mother...
everything's a fun idea,
297
00:11:52,997 --> 00:11:54,397
but I wouldn't read too much into it.
298
00:11:54,399 --> 00:11:56,465
- Dad, people can change. You know that.
- I know.
299
00:11:56,467 --> 00:11:58,401
Come on. Say one nice thing about her.
300
00:11:58,403 --> 00:12:00,069
She's leaning my way on the vote.
301
00:12:03,508 --> 00:12:04,707
Wait.
302
00:12:05,408 --> 00:12:06,742
Why are you whistling?
303
00:12:07,777 --> 00:12:10,479
This is the "Divas in
Terrible Movies" marathon.
304
00:12:10,481 --> 00:12:13,048
Now, we have Mahogany, Glitter...
305
00:12:13,050 --> 00:12:14,783
Burlesque...
306
00:12:14,785 --> 00:12:17,853
And we're gonna start
with Another Stakeout.
307
00:12:17,855 --> 00:12:19,722
Who's the diva in that?
308
00:12:19,724 --> 00:12:21,223
Richard Dreyfuss.
309
00:12:21,225 --> 00:12:23,592
This is fun.
310
00:12:23,594 --> 00:12:25,894
It is. Easy.
311
00:12:25,896 --> 00:12:27,930
And about the vote,
312
00:12:27,932 --> 00:12:30,165
I'm leaning your way.
313
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:31,633
She said she was leaning
my way on the vote.
314
00:12:31,635 --> 00:12:32,935
She's playing us both.
315
00:12:32,937 --> 00:12:33,969
That's ridiculous. She said she
was leaning my way on the vote.
316
00:12:33,971 --> 00:12:35,561
What happened to sisters sticking together?
317
00:12:35,873 --> 00:12:39,054
Was the whole message of
burlesque totally lost on her?
318
00:12:39,116 --> 00:12:41,470
Let's take the high road. Enough
prostituting our principles.
319
00:12:41,471 --> 00:12:42,471
Good.
320
00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:44,431
I guess you owe me a vote.
321
00:12:44,432 --> 00:12:46,280
You just wanna leave it on th nightstand?
322
00:12:46,293 --> 00:12:48,850
Oh, come on. We both wanted this to happen.
323
00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:49,750
Mmm.
324
00:12:49,951 --> 00:12:51,608
When was the last time we did this?
325
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,388
When you wanted the beach house.
326
00:12:54,558 --> 00:12:56,291
God, I love that beach house.
327
00:12:56,293 --> 00:12:57,926
When's the last time we did this?
328
00:12:57,928 --> 00:13:00,462
When you wanted me to vote for Clinton.
329
00:13:00,464 --> 00:13:02,998
God, she's gonna make a great president.
330
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,734
Ooh. When was the last time we did this?
331
00:13:05,736 --> 00:13:07,736
When you wanted me to vote for Clinton.
332
00:13:07,738 --> 00:13:09,337
Oh.
333
00:13:09,339 --> 00:13:13,008
Oh, God, that man can play the sax.
334
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:15,610
Oh, we got to stop doing this.
335
00:13:15,612 --> 00:13:17,779
What is it about hate
sex that's so appealing?
336
00:13:17,781 --> 00:13:19,181
Is there any other kind?
337
00:13:19,183 --> 00:13:20,615
I'm guessing this is yours.
338
00:13:20,617 --> 00:13:22,498
Morocco on $4,000 a Day.
339
00:13:22,657 --> 00:13:25,020
Carol called with this crazy idea.
340
00:13:25,022 --> 00:13:27,055
We're gonna do a year abroad.
341
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,823
Does Sydney know? Because
she mentioned something
342
00:13:28,825 --> 00:13:30,458
about an open house and you and she...
343
00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:33,595
Oh, no, no, no. She and I
were just having fun. Besides,
344
00:13:33,597 --> 00:13:35,764
their medicine cabinet was an abortion.
345
00:13:35,766 --> 00:13:38,466
Nothing but Q-tips and
two-year-old Benadryl.
346
00:13:38,468 --> 00:13:39,601
But you're gonna tell her, right, Paige?
347
00:13:39,603 --> 00:13:41,803
About, um, the year abroad and...
348
00:13:41,805 --> 00:13:44,239
You don't have to tell me
that. She's my daughter.
349
00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:45,640
You're right. Of course.
350
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,812
What the hell are you here to do?
351
00:13:50,814 --> 00:13:53,014
The bare minimum.
352
00:14:01,157 --> 00:14:03,576
You might want to come in,
the wedding's about to start.
353
00:14:03,578 --> 00:14:05,960
Oh, I'm just waiting on someone.
They should be here in a minute.
354
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,665
- Megan?
- Oh, my God. Zach.
355
00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:13,334
Did I invite you to my wedding?
356
00:14:13,336 --> 00:14:15,770
An invite to the wedding was communicated.
357
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,405
Some other important details
358
00:14:17,407 --> 00:14:19,173
fell through the cracks.
359
00:14:21,210 --> 00:14:22,810
It was her wedding?
360
00:14:22,812 --> 00:14:25,713
- Kind of an important detail.
- What... what was she thinking?
361
00:14:25,715 --> 00:14:28,115
I don't know. Why don't you
ask your girlfriend here?
362
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,718
- What are you implying?
- That she served me up to her friend
363
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,787
the week of her wedding.
Like I was a piece of meat
364
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,289
to be chewed up and digested
and released through the skin
365
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,359
in a pleasant smelling vapor.
In my world, girls don't poop.
366
00:14:38,361 --> 00:14:40,094
That is the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.
367
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:41,195
Why would she do that?
368
00:14:41,197 --> 00:14:43,097
Because Megan was looking
369
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:44,565
for some meaningless fun before the big day
370
00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:46,867
and I thought Zach would be
the perfect guy to do that with.
371
00:14:46,869 --> 00:14:48,769
- Unbelievable.
- Allie.
372
00:14:48,771 --> 00:14:51,172
Come on, Andrew, you're
always saying what a dog he is.
373
00:14:51,174 --> 00:14:53,908
- Dude, that is so not cool.
- Okay, in fairness, I say that to your face
374
00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:56,143
- all the time.
- Yeah, but telling her breaks the bro code,
375
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,411
if that's even still a thing.
376
00:14:57,413 --> 00:14:58,612
Okay, you're right. Dude, I... I'm sorry.
377
00:14:58,614 --> 00:15:00,881
And I am saying "dude"
because I want you to know
378
00:15:00,883 --> 00:15:01,982
how serious I am.
379
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,384
But, A... Allie, look,
380
00:15:03,386 --> 00:15:04,652
the other night I saw a man
381
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,153
trying to make a real connection.
382
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,389
- I did feel good about it.
- Yeah, you should feel good about it.
383
00:15:08,391 --> 00:15:10,791
I mean, he may not be there yet, but
384
00:15:10,793 --> 00:15:12,693
this guy... he's a keeper.
385
00:15:12,695 --> 00:15:14,266
Whoa, but not, like, around
the corner, right? I mean,
386
00:15:14,267 --> 00:15:15,609
- I still got some time.
- For sure. I mean,
387
00:15:15,611 --> 00:15:17,703
she's probably not even born yet.
Maybe she's just learning to read,
388
00:15:17,705 --> 00:15:19,410
but somewhere out there
is a girl who's waiting
389
00:15:19,412 --> 00:15:20,708
to grow up and become your somewhat
390
00:15:20,710 --> 00:15:22,287
inappropriately youthful soul mate.
391
00:15:22,371 --> 00:15:23,704
And you're gonna make her really happy,
392
00:15:23,706 --> 00:15:25,139
man, because you're my BFF.
393
00:15:26,275 --> 00:15:28,375
I B in you.
394
00:15:28,377 --> 00:15:31,779
"B" as in believe.
395
00:15:31,781 --> 00:15:33,514
Yeah.
396
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,649
I'm gonna walk away.
397
00:15:37,752 --> 00:15:41,088
Hey, do you think Allie's
got a sort of high waist?
398
00:15:41,090 --> 00:15:42,289
No.
399
00:15:42,291 --> 00:15:44,124
Right.
400
00:15:44,126 --> 00:15:46,327
Well, maybe.
401
00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:50,664
Well, Simon, looks like the vote's
402
00:15:50,666 --> 00:15:53,467
gonna go your way. Congrats.
403
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,585
Finally, the white straight guy wins.
404
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:57,120
You guys get all the
good wedding planner jobs,
405
00:15:57,122 --> 00:15:58,335
so it all evens out.
406
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,757
Timothy and I could've had
the yacht of our dreams,
407
00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:02,792
the SS I'm A Miranda.
408
00:16:02,794 --> 00:16:04,060
Whoa.
409
00:16:05,129 --> 00:16:07,997
Hey. How's my favorite lady?
410
00:16:07,999 --> 00:16:09,899
Oh, please, you already have my vote.
411
00:16:09,901 --> 00:16:11,267
Keep some dignity.
412
00:16:11,269 --> 00:16:13,469
Please. My dignity flew out
the window along with my pants
413
00:16:13,471 --> 00:16:14,637
around 9:00 p.m. last night.
414
00:16:14,639 --> 00:16:15,938
Hey, Mom, guess what?
415
00:16:15,940 --> 00:16:17,440
Remember the sweet old
lady on the third floor?
416
00:16:17,442 --> 00:16:19,275
- The one that fed all the neighborhood cats?
- Yeah.
417
00:16:19,277 --> 00:16:22,078
She's dead. They found the last
ten percent of her body yesterday.
418
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,546
Sydney, I know she used
to take your newspaper,
419
00:16:23,548 --> 00:16:24,881
but she's still a human being.
420
00:16:24,883 --> 00:16:26,883
Oh, yeah, no, that's
totally sad and tragic, but
421
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:28,584
the apartment's available for Mom.
422
00:16:28,586 --> 00:16:30,987
I mean, I know it might be a little
strange, being right downstairs, but
423
00:16:30,989 --> 00:16:33,256
I mean, come on, we could have
coffee in the morning, we could
424
00:16:33,258 --> 00:16:35,491
share critical looks over short
skirts and loser boyfriends.
425
00:16:35,493 --> 00:16:37,126
I promise I won't be too judgy.
426
00:16:37,128 --> 00:16:38,728
Yeah, that sounds like fun, but, uh,
427
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:40,096
let's talk about it later, okay?
428
00:16:40,098 --> 00:16:41,764
- You didn't tell her, did you?
- Tell me what?
429
00:16:41,766 --> 00:16:43,432
Really? We're gonna do this now?
430
00:16:43,434 --> 00:16:44,734
I don't understand. What's going on?
431
00:16:44,736 --> 00:16:46,402
Nothing. Why do you have to make
432
00:16:46,404 --> 00:16:48,504
- everything such a scene?
- Uh, I should probably wait five minutes
433
00:16:48,506 --> 00:16:50,506
to do this, but that's five
minutes more of my daughter
434
00:16:50,508 --> 00:16:52,708
getting her hopes up for nothing.
435
00:16:52,710 --> 00:16:57,179
Sydney, your mother's
going to Morocco for a year.
436
00:16:57,181 --> 00:16:59,014
She's not taking that apartment.
437
00:16:59,016 --> 00:17:00,382
Oh.
438
00:17:00,384 --> 00:17:02,051
Perfect.
439
00:17:02,053 --> 00:17:04,787
- Once again, you're the hero, I'm the villain.
- You always do this.
440
00:17:04,789 --> 00:17:06,622
You always make these
promises and you never
441
00:17:06,624 --> 00:17:08,490
follow through. I'm just
trying to protect her.
442
00:17:08,492 --> 00:17:10,092
- Protect her from me? Really?
- Yeah.
443
00:17:10,094 --> 00:17:12,027
Who protected her when you
abandoned her in the mall?
444
00:17:12,029 --> 00:17:13,929
I never abandoned her at
the mall. I may have left her
445
00:17:13,931 --> 00:17:15,831
at Chuck E. Cheese, I left
her at countless coat checks,
446
00:17:15,833 --> 00:17:17,199
I may have once shipped her to Phoenix
447
00:17:17,201 --> 00:17:19,368
in a dog crate, but I
never left her at the mall.
448
00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:20,569
Wait, that dog crate
thing actually happened?
449
00:17:20,571 --> 00:17:21,937
- It wasn't a dream?
- You know, the difference
450
00:17:21,939 --> 00:17:23,272
between you and I?
451
00:17:23,274 --> 00:17:24,640
I've admitted my mistakes and I've spent
452
00:17:24,642 --> 00:17:26,375
the last ten years making up for them.
453
00:17:26,377 --> 00:17:28,243
Guys, this is ridiculous,
okay? I mean, it's...
454
00:17:28,245 --> 00:17:31,346
a stupid apartment. It's
not even worth fighting over.
455
00:17:35,618 --> 00:17:37,119
I hope you're happy.
456
00:17:37,121 --> 00:17:40,222
I'm never happy when my girl's hurting.
457
00:17:42,725 --> 00:17:44,626
Kind of rough, huh?
458
00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:47,729
It's a shame it'll be so
fresh when we vote now.
459
00:17:53,002 --> 00:17:54,569
I'm don't know what's upsetting me more:
460
00:17:54,571 --> 00:17:56,938
the buyout or seeing
Gordon in yacht slacks.
461
00:17:56,940 --> 00:17:59,608
Those things show everything.
462
00:17:59,610 --> 00:18:02,043
What about you, kiddo? You okay?
463
00:18:02,045 --> 00:18:04,412
I get sucked in every time
464
00:18:04,414 --> 00:18:07,516
and then I end up crashing on the rocks.
465
00:18:07,518 --> 00:18:09,084
Does she even care at all?
466
00:18:09,086 --> 00:18:11,019
Course she cares. When
your mom's there with you,
467
00:18:11,021 --> 00:18:13,555
she's there 100%.
468
00:18:13,557 --> 00:18:15,090
What'd she say about Andrew?
469
00:18:15,092 --> 00:18:17,425
- How do you know we talked about Andrew?
- Well,
470
00:18:17,427 --> 00:18:19,294
I'm kind of keyed in to your personal life.
471
00:18:20,396 --> 00:18:22,330
And I may have peeked
in your Dropbox folder.
472
00:18:22,332 --> 00:18:23,665
- Dad.
- Honey,
473
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:24,866
don't have a file called "Diary"
474
00:18:24,868 --> 00:18:27,302
if your password is 12345678.
475
00:18:28,471 --> 00:18:29,637
What'd she say?
476
00:18:29,639 --> 00:18:32,373
That I would regret the things I don't do.
477
00:18:32,375 --> 00:18:33,754
Why didn't you ask me what I think?
478
00:18:34,111 --> 00:18:36,744
Because I was afraid you
would say the same thing.
479
00:18:36,746 --> 00:18:39,814
But coming from you, it
wouldn't sound as crazy.
480
00:18:39,816 --> 00:18:41,549
Oh, you poor kid.
481
00:18:41,551 --> 00:18:43,585
I think that growing
up with two parents who
482
00:18:43,587 --> 00:18:45,053
jump out of moving cars mid-fight,
483
00:18:45,055 --> 00:18:46,321
you learn to strap in.
484
00:18:46,323 --> 00:18:47,822
You know, despite all of our faults,
485
00:18:47,824 --> 00:18:50,325
I wish that for just once
in a while you had a dash
486
00:18:50,327 --> 00:18:52,126
of our reckless abandon, you know?
487
00:18:57,233 --> 00:18:58,833
Andrew.
488
00:18:58,835 --> 00:18:59,801
Come with me.
489
00:19:08,645 --> 00:19:11,579
Um, I am about to do something.
490
00:19:11,581 --> 00:19:13,981
And if you like it, I want you to tell me.
491
00:19:13,983 --> 00:19:16,284
And if you don't, we'll
never talk about it again.
492
00:19:17,419 --> 00:19:18,719
Okay. Close your eyes.
493
00:19:18,721 --> 00:19:20,454
Okay.
494
00:19:36,605 --> 00:19:38,305
Well?
495
00:19:44,128 --> 00:19:46,196
Hey, Cindy, congratulations,
we're not doing the buyout.
496
00:19:46,198 --> 00:19:47,697
You won.
497
00:19:47,699 --> 00:19:49,365
I won. How?
498
00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:51,734
Sometimes I do the right thing.
499
00:19:51,736 --> 00:19:52,936
Now, if you'll excuse me,
500
00:19:52,938 --> 00:19:55,672
I have to go burn a doll
made out of your hair.
501
00:19:57,141 --> 00:19:59,475
Sorry.
502
00:19:59,477 --> 00:20:01,477
Thank you, Paige.
503
00:20:01,479 --> 00:20:04,881
I think the reason I make
so many promises to Sydney
504
00:20:04,883 --> 00:20:07,050
is I want her to like me
as much as she likes you.
505
00:20:07,052 --> 00:20:08,050
She loves you.
506
00:20:08,052 --> 00:20:09,619
She just needs you to follow through.
507
00:20:09,621 --> 00:20:11,254
You're right.
508
00:20:11,256 --> 00:20:13,055
I'm moving back. I'm taking that condo.
509
00:20:13,057 --> 00:20:15,224
Nah, just return an e-mail or two.
510
00:20:15,226 --> 00:20:17,493
Oh, God, that's too much.
511
00:20:17,495 --> 00:20:19,195
So, where is she? Where is our Sydney?
512
00:20:19,197 --> 00:20:21,230
Because I am taking us
all out to dinner tonight.
513
00:20:21,232 --> 00:20:22,632
She's in her office right now with Andrew.
514
00:20:22,634 --> 00:20:23,900
She took my advice?
515
00:20:23,902 --> 00:20:25,234
Well, I put it in terms
she could understand.
516
00:20:25,236 --> 00:20:26,569
So it's sort of my advice.
517
00:20:26,571 --> 00:20:28,371
Oh, come on, you won't even
give me that one small victory?
518
00:20:28,373 --> 00:20:29,939
It wouldn't be a victory
if I hadn't stepped in.
519
00:20:29,941 --> 00:20:32,174
- Oh, you are... What'd he say?
- How'd it go?
520
00:20:32,176 --> 00:20:34,210
What's the weather like
this time of year in Morocco?
521
00:20:34,212 --> 00:20:35,511
Oh, it doesn't matter.
I'll just pack anything
522
00:20:35,513 --> 00:20:37,546
that matches sand.
523
00:20:37,548 --> 00:20:40,149
- Come on.
- Can you take Mr. Princess for a year?
524
00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:41,650
And I'm not the one who left
her at the mall. You are.
525
00:20:41,652 --> 00:20:43,853
I'm telling you. I
distinctly remember that day.
526
00:20:43,855 --> 00:20:45,621
It was March 2, 1987.
527
00:20:47,825 --> 00:20:49,325
B mark.
528
00:20:49,327 --> 00:20:50,326
I think that is great.
529
00:20:50,328 --> 00:20:53,128
In na-normal wah...
530
00:20:55,566 --> 00:20:58,300
Wow!
531
00:20:59,603 --> 00:21:01,837
Thanks, man.
532
00:21:01,838 --> 00:21:02,720
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
40408
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.