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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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00:00:04,101 --> 00:00:06,368
( announcer reading )
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00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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00:00:16,401 --> 00:00:18,401
...SUBJECT MATTERS.
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00:00:18,468 --> 00:00:20,734
AND NOW THE CINEMAX
REELLIFE DOCUMENTARY.
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00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,867
Spencer Tunick:
OKAY, PUT YOUR LEGSTOGETHER.
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00:00:25,934 --> 00:00:28,201
- THERE YOU GO.
- ( laughter, clapping)
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00:00:48,234 --> 00:00:50,368
Gwenn:
YOU ALMOST READY?
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00:00:50,434 --> 00:00:52,667
- DO YOU HAVE
ANY HAIR STUFF?
- NO.
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WHAT KIND OF A GIRL
ARE YOU?
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00:00:54,867 --> 00:00:57,401
WE HAVE THE OPPOSITE
RELATIONSHIP OF
MOST PEOPLE.
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00:00:57,468 --> 00:01:01,101
- I'M READY.
YOU'RE DOING YOUR HAIR.
- ( laughs )
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00:01:05,834 --> 00:01:08,934
HERE I AM IN A HOTEL ROOM
WITH A MAN THAT I'VE KNOWN
A MONTH AND A HALF.
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00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,067
- STRANGE MAN.
- IT'S THE FIRST TIME
I'VE EVER SLEPT WITH HIM.
15
00:01:12,134 --> 00:01:14,434
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO WORRY FOR ME.
I'M A GOOD BOY.
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00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:16,533
PERFECT GENTLEMAN.
( laughs )
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00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,533
I THOUGHT THEY
WERE GOING TO GIVE US
TWO DOUBLE BEDS.
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00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,734
LET ME GET MY GLOVES.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
LET'S DO IT.
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00:01:28,967 --> 00:01:31,267
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M DOING THIS.
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00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:35,301
- IT'S BECAUSE
YOU LOVE ME.
- YEAH.
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00:01:35,368 --> 00:01:37,067
GLOVES.
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00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:40,368
VINNY GETS ABOUT
60 PILLS A DAY,
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00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:43,101
I ONLY HAVE
ONE HANDFUL A DAY.
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00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,967
VINNY'S NERVOUS
ABOUT SHOWING HIS BELLY
TO THE CAMERA.
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00:01:53,734 --> 00:01:55,667
FOUR CAMERAS
AND TWO TRIPODS.
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00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:01,867
- HOW DO YOU FEEL?
- UH... I'M READY.
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00:02:01,934 --> 00:02:03,500
I'M HOPING TO SEE
A FEW GUTS--
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00:02:03,567 --> 00:02:07,434
THAT WILL MAKE ME
FEEL A LITTLE MORE
COMFORTABLE.
29
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,600
WITH ALL OF THIS GOING ON,
I FORGOT TO BE NERVOUS
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00:02:09,667 --> 00:02:14,267
THAT I'M GOING TO
GET NAKED ON CAMERA.
( chuckles )
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00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:16,934
I WAS ACTUALLY HESITANT
TO TELL MY FRIENDS
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00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,401
BECAUSE I THOUGHT
THEY WOULD THINK
I'M A SUCKER.
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00:02:20,468 --> 00:02:22,667
Julia:
THIS IS KIND OF AN
OUT-OF-THE-WAY PLACE.
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00:02:22,734 --> 00:02:25,067
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
LOOKS KIND OF CREEPY.
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00:02:25,134 --> 00:02:28,934
I WANTED TO BE
AT PEAK PHYSICAL
CONDITION FOR THIS.
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00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,767
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
THEY ARE GOING TO DO.
PUT US ALL IN A ROOM
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00:02:31,834 --> 00:02:34,667
AND TELL US
TO STRIP, I GUESS.
LET'S DO IT.
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00:02:34,734 --> 00:02:36,234
COME ON.
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00:02:49,967 --> 00:02:52,434
WOW, THIS IS COOL.
OH MY GOD.
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00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,600
LOOK AT ALL
THESE PEOPLE.
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00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,101
( laughs )
OH MY GOD.
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00:03:01,301 --> 00:03:04,201
Elizabeth:
I THOUGHT I COULDDO IT RIGHT AWAY,
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00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:07,434
BECAUSE I THOUGHT
IT WAS ONLY GOING
TO BE WOMEN.
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00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:10,234
BUT THEN WHEN I GOT THERE,
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00:03:10,301 --> 00:03:13,600
THAT'S WHEN I FIND OUT THAT
IT WAS GOING TO BE MALES
AND FEMALES.
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00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:17,301
AS WE ALL KNOW
WE'RE GOING TO BE NUDE
DURING THIS INSTALLATION.
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00:03:17,368 --> 00:03:19,134
- ( laughter )
- OOPS.
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00:03:19,201 --> 00:03:22,633
Mark:
VINNY REALLYDIDN'T WANT TO DO IT.
49
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:26,368
Vinny:
I WAS AN UNDERWEAR MODEL,
BUT TO WEAR NOTHING?
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00:03:26,434 --> 00:03:28,734
- SPENCER. HI, NICHOLAS.
- MY NAME'S NICHOLAS.
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00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,900
Ron:
I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS,A LITTLE APPREHENSIVE.
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00:03:31,967 --> 00:03:35,101
WHEN SPENCER CAME IN--
I DON'T KNOW-- SOMETHING
ABOUT HIS VOICE.
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00:03:35,167 --> 00:03:37,434
I'D LIKE
TO THANK EVERYONE
FOR COMING.
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00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:39,267
Ron:
HE WAS VERY NICEWITH THE CROWD,
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00:03:39,334 --> 00:03:41,834
AND HE KIND OF EXPLAINED
HOW HE WAS GOING TO DO THINGS
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00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,667
AND I BECAME COMFORTABLE.
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00:03:43,734 --> 00:03:46,767
THIS IS A COLLABORATION
BETWEEN YOU AND I.
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00:03:46,834 --> 00:03:49,667
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE
A PIECE OF ART TOGETHER.
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00:03:49,734 --> 00:03:51,301
AT TIMES
IT WILL BE AWKWARD
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00:03:51,368 --> 00:03:53,934
AND THEN
AT TIMES IT WILL BE
THE EXACT OPPOSITE.
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00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,000
YOU'LL FEEL LIKE
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE
NUDE BEFORE.
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00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:02,267
BUT YOUR BREAKFAST
WILL NEVER TASTE THE SAME.
63
00:04:02,334 --> 00:04:04,834
IN MY LIFE
I'VE DEALT WITH A LOT
OF SCARY SITUATIONS,
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00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:06,934
SO WHY SHOULD
I BE AFRAID
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00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,067
TO DISROBE AND DISPLAY
MY LITTLE FELLOW
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00:04:09,134 --> 00:04:11,301
IN FRONT OF A ROOM
FULL OF PEOPLE?
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00:04:11,368 --> 00:04:15,000
THIS IS AN HONOR
TO BE HERE WORKING
WITH YOU.
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00:04:15,067 --> 00:04:18,500
FOR ME THIS IS A SIGN
OF COMMUNITY.
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00:04:18,567 --> 00:04:20,734
Julia:
I PARTICIPATEDIN THIS INSTALLATION
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00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,934
DESPITE THE FEARS I HAD--
PHYSICALLY BEING NAKED
IN FRONT OF PEOPLE?
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00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,301
- YEAH, WE COULD
POSE TOGETHER.
- I LOVE THAT.
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00:04:26,368 --> 00:04:29,301
- NO. SERIOUSLY.
- I'M GOING TO BE SURROUNDED
BY ALL THESE MEN.
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00:04:29,368 --> 00:04:32,034
THIS WAS
AN OPPORTUNITY TO DO IT
IN SUCH AN INCREDIBLE WAY,
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00:04:32,101 --> 00:04:34,401
IN A CELEBRATORY WAY,
WITH A COMMUNITY
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00:04:34,468 --> 00:04:37,667
THAT SHARED SOMETHING
SO CRITICAL ABOUT MY LIFE
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00:04:37,734 --> 00:04:40,334
THAT THEY SHARED,
WHICH WAS HIV.
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00:05:07,034 --> 00:05:10,000
HAVE YOU EVER
STOOD UP ON THE COUNTER
NAKED BEFORE, SEAN?
78
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,567
I HAD COME INTO THE OFFICE
AND WAS TALKING TO WALTER
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00:05:20,633 --> 00:05:24,167
ABOUT THE COVER PROSPECTS
FOR THE 10th ANNIVERSARY ISSUE,
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00:05:24,234 --> 00:05:27,301
AND NONE OF THEM
EXCITED HIM OR EXCITED ME.
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00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:29,800
WE KIND OF WANTED
SOMETHING SPECIAL.
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00:05:29,867 --> 00:05:31,834
I HAD SEEN
SPENCER'S WORK
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00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:34,334
AND I THOUGHT, "OH GOD,
THAT WOULD BE PERFECT."
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00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:38,368
Spencer:
THEY WANTED A WORKTHAT EVERYONE WAS ALIVE,
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00:05:38,434 --> 00:05:42,567
INTERACTING WITH THE CAMERA
AND DEFIANT.
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00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:45,567
AND I WANTED THAT TOO,
BUT I ALSO WANTED
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00:05:45,633 --> 00:05:48,667
TO CREATE A RELATIONSHIP
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00:05:48,734 --> 00:05:50,667
BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH.
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00:05:50,734 --> 00:05:53,334
I COULD BE UP HERE.
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00:05:53,401 --> 00:05:55,867
Sean:
I THOUGHT THAT ITWOULD BE POWERFUL
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00:05:55,934 --> 00:05:57,967
FOR THE PEOPLE
WHO PARTICIPATE.
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00:05:58,034 --> 00:05:59,834
I KNEW IT WOULD BE
A POWERFUL IMAGE.
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00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:02,334
I WAS THINKING
AS A MAGAZINE GUY.
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00:06:02,401 --> 00:06:04,067
WE WANTED A GOOD IMAGE
ON THE COVER.
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00:06:04,134 --> 00:06:05,334
THEY CALLED US
WITH ABOUT
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00:06:05,401 --> 00:06:07,667
A THREE-WEEK DEADLINE
THEY WERE WORKING WITHIN.
97
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:11,101
AND MOST OF THE TIME
TO PULL TOGETHER SPENCER'S
INSTALLATIONS
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00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:13,800
TAKES THREE, FOUR MONTHS
AT THE VERY MINIMUM.
99
00:06:13,867 --> 00:06:16,034
I WAS LIKE,
"WE'VE GOT TO DO THIS.
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00:06:16,101 --> 00:06:18,067
I'M GOING TO DO IT
AT NO CHARGE.
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00:06:18,134 --> 00:06:20,567
I'M GOING TO DONATE
MY SERVICES."
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00:06:20,633 --> 00:06:23,000
IN TWO-WEEKS TIME
WE GET NEARLY 100 PEOPLE
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00:06:23,067 --> 00:06:26,267
WILLING TO SAY
NOT JUST THAT THEY'RE HIV,
BUT HERE THEY ARE.
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00:06:26,334 --> 00:06:29,800
- YEAH, WE CAME
DOWN FROM BOSTON.
- WE LIVE IN BOSTON.
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00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:31,500
THIS IS THE FILM
I'M USING TODAY.
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00:06:31,567 --> 00:06:33,800
Ron:
FOR ME, PARTICIPATINGIN THE INSTALLATION
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00:06:33,867 --> 00:06:37,267
WAS THE FIRST TIME I'VE EVER
MADE A PUBLIC STATEMENT
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00:06:37,334 --> 00:06:39,434
THAT I'M HIV POSITIVE,
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00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,600
THAT I'M A PERSON
WHO HAS SURVIVED
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00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:44,201
WITH THE HIV VIRUS
FOR 17 YEARS.
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00:06:44,267 --> 00:06:48,201
WE ALL AREN'T DEAD OR DYING.
A LOT OF US ARE SURVIVORS.
112
00:06:48,267 --> 00:06:51,600
Shawn:
I'M IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLEWHO ARE HIV POSITIVE.
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00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:54,368
I'M WITH MY PEERS,
YOU KNOW?
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00:06:54,434 --> 00:06:57,633
THERE'S NO NEED
TO BE SCARED.
I BELONG HERE.
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00:06:57,700 --> 00:07:00,533
PEOPLE WHO HAVE DEALT
WITH THE SAME SITUATION
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00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,667
WITH HIV THAT I HAVE,
117
00:07:02,734 --> 00:07:04,800
GOING THROUGH THE FEAR
OF "WHO CAN I TELL?
118
00:07:04,867 --> 00:07:07,500
WHICH FRIENDS CAN I TELL?
I DON'T WANT TO BURDEN PEOPLE.
119
00:07:07,567 --> 00:07:09,368
I DON'T WANT
TO GO TO MY DOCTOR.
120
00:07:09,434 --> 00:07:11,167
I DON'T WANT TO MAKE
THE APPOINTMENT.
121
00:07:11,234 --> 00:07:14,334
I DON'T WANT TO TAKE
THE DRUGS. I DON'T WANT
TO DO THIS AND THAT."
122
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:17,401
JUST KNOWING,
WITHOUT EVEN TALKING
TO EVERYBODY IN THE ROOM,
123
00:07:17,468 --> 00:07:21,167
JUST LOOKING AT SOMEBODY
AND KNOWING, "YEAH, THEY KNOW
WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH
124
00:07:21,234 --> 00:07:23,067
BECAUSE THEY'VE
BEEN THROUGH IT TOO."
125
00:07:23,134 --> 00:07:25,834
LOOSENING UP.
YEAH, I'M LOOSE.
126
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:28,767
- I'M GETTING BEHIND YOU.
- Spencer: WE'RE GOING TO BEWORKING BACK HERE
127
00:07:28,834 --> 00:07:31,633
OR FROM HERE,
FROM THIS ANGLE.
128
00:07:31,700 --> 00:07:34,600
THE IDEA WAS SUDDENLY
GROWING AND IT LOOKED
LIKE IT MIGHT HAPPEN.
129
00:07:34,667 --> 00:07:37,000
SO THIS LITTLE VOICE
IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD
SAID,
130
00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:39,800
"ARE YOU CRAZY?
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO
DO THIS. ARE YOU CRAZY?"
131
00:07:39,867 --> 00:07:43,201
Spence:
I FEEL THAT SPENCER'S WORKIS SO IMPORTANT
132
00:07:43,267 --> 00:07:46,401
AS A SOCIAL COMMENT,
ESPECIALLY THIS.
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00:07:46,468 --> 00:07:48,900
EVERY PERSON IN THAT ROOM
THAT WAS PARTICIPATING
134
00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:52,234
WAS THERE FOR A SPIRITUAL
AND EMOTIONAL REASON.
135
00:07:53,767 --> 00:07:56,234
THAT'S HIS GRANDMOTHER.
136
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:59,067
SHE RAISED VINNY
AND SHE...
137
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,867
THERE AREN'T
A LOT OF TIMES
THAT COMES OFF,
138
00:08:02,934 --> 00:08:05,468
BUT I GUESS FOR TODAY
IT'S COMING OFF.
139
00:08:05,533 --> 00:08:08,034
Shawn:
A FUNNY THING HAPPENEDAT THE SHOOT.
140
00:08:08,101 --> 00:08:11,267
THERE WAS A GUY THERE
WHO WAS HIV NEGATIVE,
141
00:08:11,334 --> 00:08:14,267
AND HE ASKED SPENCER,
"WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE
WHO ARE HIV NEGATIVE
142
00:08:14,334 --> 00:08:16,867
WHO ARE HERE IN SUPPORT
OF PEOPLE WITH HIV?"
143
00:08:16,934 --> 00:08:19,067
WHO IS HIV NEGATIVE?
144
00:08:19,134 --> 00:08:22,301
Shawn:
SPENCER WAS LIKE,"I JUST WANT TO GET PEOPLE
145
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,533
WHO ARE POSITIVE
RIGHT NOW."
146
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,101
OKAY, "NEGGIES,"
147
00:08:27,167 --> 00:08:29,533
FINALLY YOU'RE THE ONES
GETTING KICKED OUT.
148
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,934
( laughter, applause )
149
00:08:34,834 --> 00:08:37,434
Gwenn:
I DON'T REALLY HAVEFEARS SO MUCH ANYMORE.
150
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:39,667
I THINK IN THE BEGINNING
OF THE RELATIONSHIP
151
00:08:39,734 --> 00:08:41,567
I DEFINITELY
HAD CONCERNS.
152
00:08:41,633 --> 00:08:45,000
I KNEW BETTER.
I KNEW I WASN'T
GOING TO CONTRACT HIV.
153
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,067
I KNEW HOW TO USE
A CONDOM EFFECTIVELY.
154
00:08:47,134 --> 00:08:50,368
I KNEW WE REALLY DID
EVERYTHING IN THE RELATIONSHIP
TO KEEP ME SAFE.
155
00:08:50,434 --> 00:08:53,301
I KNEW ABOUT ALL THE STUDIES
ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS
LIKE OURS
156
00:08:53,368 --> 00:08:55,533
WHERE THE NEGATIVE PARTNER
STAYED NEGATIVE.
157
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:58,301
WE'VE BEEN
IN THIS RELATIONSHIP
FOR FIVE AND A HALF YEARS,
158
00:08:58,368 --> 00:09:00,567
AND I FEEL LIKE
"I'M STILL NEGATIVE,
159
00:09:00,633 --> 00:09:02,800
OBVIOUSLY
WHAT WE ARE DOING
IS KEEPING ME SAFE,"
160
00:09:02,867 --> 00:09:04,800
SO I DON'T HAVE THOSE FEARS
SO MUCH ANYMORE.
161
00:09:04,867 --> 00:09:06,867
ALL YOUR BAGS,
ALL YOUR BACKPACKS,
162
00:09:06,934 --> 00:09:09,267
EVERY SINGLE THING
YOU BROUGHT WITH YOU,
163
00:09:09,334 --> 00:09:12,434
PLEASE GIVE TO THE PEOPLE
BEHIND THE COUNTERS.
164
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:15,600
- Woman: WE NEED FOUR BAGSRIGHT HERE.
- OKAY, SURE.
165
00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:18,867
Elizabeth:
WHEN I WAS SITTING THEREI WAS VERY NERVOUS.
166
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:21,134
THE FELLOW THAT WAS
SITTING NEXT TO ME,
167
00:09:21,201 --> 00:09:23,834
HE KEPT HOLDING MY HANDS SAYING,
"YOU'RE GOING TO BE OKAY.
168
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:26,934
DON'T BE AFRAID.
DON'T GET NERVOUS.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE OKAY."
169
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,234
HE ENCOURAGED ME SO MUCH
170
00:09:29,301 --> 00:09:32,201
THAT WHEN THEY SAID THREE--
"ONE TWO THREE,"
171
00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:34,301
AND IT WAS TIME
TO TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF,
172
00:09:34,368 --> 00:09:37,234
I JUST TOOK EVERYTHING AT ONCE,
AND I WAS LIKE,
173
00:09:37,301 --> 00:09:39,800
"OKAY, THIS IS IT."
174
00:09:39,867 --> 00:09:42,567
YOU MAY DISROBE NOW.
THANK YOU.
175
00:09:42,633 --> 00:09:44,900
( chatter, giggles )
176
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,434
( laughing )
OH MY GOD.
177
00:09:58,767 --> 00:10:00,867
( laughing )
178
00:10:06,267 --> 00:10:08,301
Julia:
COME ON, YOU'VE GOTTO GET UNDRESSED.
179
00:10:08,368 --> 00:10:11,101
- GOT TO GO.
- YOU AND ME, JUST YOU AND ME.
180
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:17,700
Julia:
THIS IS NOT REAL.THIS IS NOT HAPPENING.
181
00:10:28,834 --> 00:10:31,867
Shawn:
ONCE EVERYBODYTOOK OFF THEIR CLOTHES,
182
00:10:31,934 --> 00:10:34,734
THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE
IN THE ROOM WERE NAKED.
183
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,834
IT SORT OF BECAME,
"OH, THIS IS NORMAL."
184
00:10:39,867 --> 00:10:42,401
OF COURSE, AT FIRST
YOU'RE CHECKING PEOPLE OUT.
185
00:10:42,468 --> 00:10:44,434
"THANK GOD
THERE'S SOMEBODY HERE
186
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:47,267
WHOSE A LITTLE CHUBBIER
AROUND THE SIDES THAN ME."
187
00:10:47,334 --> 00:10:50,867
IT WAS SO SAD THAT--
THE PENIS THING.
188
00:10:50,934 --> 00:10:53,500
OKAY, I'M A GAY MAN.
189
00:10:53,567 --> 00:10:56,234
I KNOW I'M FIXATED
WITH THE SIZE...
190
00:10:56,301 --> 00:10:57,468
OF THE PENIS.
191
00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:59,500
BUT PARTICULARLY--
192
00:10:59,567 --> 00:11:02,368
I DIDN'T WANT MINE
TO LOOK PARTICULARLY LITTLE,
193
00:11:02,434 --> 00:11:04,101
AND IT WAS
KIND OF COLD IN THERE.
194
00:11:04,167 --> 00:11:06,934
SO I WANTED TO HAVE LIKE
195
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,000
THE RESPECTABLE, NORMAL,
196
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:13,468
MIDDLE-SIZED,
DON'T-PAY-ATTENTION--
( laughs )
197
00:11:13,533 --> 00:11:15,600
Spencer:
DARK HAIR, RIGHT HERE...
198
00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:18,067
STAND UP.
YES, YOU CAN STAND UP.
199
00:11:18,134 --> 00:11:19,500
- ALL THE WAY UP?
- YEP.
200
00:11:19,567 --> 00:11:22,234
( clunks, laughter )
201
00:11:22,301 --> 00:11:24,734
Elizabeth:
AT THE BEGINNINGI WAS NERVOUS.
202
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,468
A FEW MINUTES LATER,
I WAS LIKE--
203
00:11:26,533 --> 00:11:29,734
EVERYBODY WAS WALKING
AROUND NAKED AND NOBODY
WAS LOOKING AT ANYBODY.
204
00:11:31,167 --> 00:11:32,834
Spence:
I WAS JUST WALKING AROUND.
205
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,934
I JOKED WITH ONE OF MY FRIENDS
THAT WAS THERE.
206
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,767
I SAID, "I'M GOING
TO RUN TO THE DELI.
DO YOU WANT ANYTHING?"
207
00:11:37,834 --> 00:11:41,201
HE'S GOING, "WELL..."
THEN I STARTED FOR THE DOOR
WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES.
208
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:44,500
HE'S GOING, "WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU CAN'T GO OUT. YOU HAVE
NO CLOTHES ON."
209
00:11:44,567 --> 00:11:45,967
ONE,
210
00:11:46,034 --> 00:11:47,468
TWO,
211
00:11:47,533 --> 00:11:49,067
THREE.
212
00:11:58,434 --> 00:12:00,667
OKAY, WERE GOING
TO TRY FOR THIS.
WE'RE GONNA--
213
00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,401
EVERYONE LOOK AT ME.
214
00:12:04,468 --> 00:12:06,468
ONE...
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
215
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:10,034
TWO...
OPEN YOUR EYES.
216
00:12:10,101 --> 00:12:12,700
THREE...
KEEP THEM OPEN.
217
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,533
Elizabeth:
I HAD ENDEDTHIS RELATIONSHIP
218
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,867
THAT I HAD
FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS
219
00:12:39,934 --> 00:12:42,167
WITH THIS MAN,
220
00:12:42,234 --> 00:12:45,934
AND I HEARD
THAT HE WAS SICK,
221
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,234
BUT I HAD NO CONTACT
WITH HIM--
222
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:53,267
HE HAD LEFT THE COUNTY.
HE HAD GONE BACK
TO HIS FAMILY.
223
00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:55,401
WHEN HE TESTED POSITIVE,
224
00:12:55,468 --> 00:12:57,767
HE HAD PROMISED THE DOCTOR
THAT HE WAS
225
00:12:57,834 --> 00:13:00,434
GOING TO COME TO TELL ME,
AND HE NEVER DID.
226
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:02,700
IN THE HISPANIC
COMMUNITY,
227
00:13:02,767 --> 00:13:06,468
IT'S A CULTURE THING.
228
00:13:06,533 --> 00:13:10,301
IT'S VERY COMMON
THAT A MAN WILL HAVE SEX
WITH ANOTHER MAN
229
00:13:10,368 --> 00:13:13,734
AND NOT CONSIDER HIMSELF
A HOMOSEXUAL.
230
00:13:15,468 --> 00:13:18,734
THEY DON'T CONSIDER
THEMSELVES BISEXUAL EITHER.
231
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,700
I THINK THAT WAS THE REASON
WHY HE KEPT THE SECRET.
232
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:25,401
AND HE WAS ASHAMED
TO COME AND TELL ME THAT
233
00:13:25,468 --> 00:13:28,000
THE WAY HE HAD ACQUIRED
THE VIRUS
234
00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:31,567
WAS THROUGH SEX
WITH ANOTHER MAN.
235
00:13:31,633 --> 00:13:34,734
AT THE SAME TIME,
HE GOT ME INFECTED.
236
00:13:39,034 --> 00:13:42,368
Spence:
EVERY TIME SPENCERASKED US TO CLOSE OUR EYES,
237
00:13:42,434 --> 00:13:45,401
EACH TIME I THOUGHT
ABOUT ONE OF MY FRIENDS.
238
00:13:45,468 --> 00:13:48,201
I'VE PROBABLY HAD
40 OR 50 FRIENDS DIE
239
00:13:48,267 --> 00:13:50,167
SINCE 1981.
240
00:13:51,767 --> 00:13:54,867
AND I SAID TO MYSELF
A SMALL PRAYER INSIDE,
"THIS IS FOR YOU.
241
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:58,468
THIS IS IN HONOR
AND MEMORY OF YOU."
242
00:14:03,334 --> 00:14:07,267
Elizabeth:
I DECIDED TO TELL MY SONTHAT I WAS HIV POSITIVE.
243
00:14:07,334 --> 00:14:09,834
HE WAS 12 YEARS OLD.
244
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:13,800
I WENT INTO HIS ROOM,
SAT ON THE FLOOR WITH HIM,
245
00:14:13,867 --> 00:14:17,767
AND I STARTED TALKING
ABOUT ALL THE THINGS
THAT WE HAD DONE TOGETHER,
246
00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:20,434
HOW CLOSE WE
WERE TO EACH OTHER,
247
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:24,500
HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO ME
AND THAT I HAD A SECRET.
248
00:14:24,567 --> 00:14:28,700
I ASKED HIM IF HE KNEW
WHAT HIV WAS,
249
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:32,934
SO HE SAID, "YES, I KNOW.
THEY TOLD US AT SCHOOL."
250
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:37,368
I SAID, "WELL,
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT MOMMY HAS HIV."
251
00:14:37,434 --> 00:14:40,468
AND I TOLD HIM
HOW I GOT THE VIRUS,
252
00:14:40,533 --> 00:14:42,401
WHAT HAD HAPPENED
253
00:14:42,468 --> 00:14:46,301
AND THAT I WAS TELLING HIM
BECAUSE I FELT
254
00:14:46,368 --> 00:14:49,167
THAT HE WAS OLD ENOUGH,
255
00:14:49,234 --> 00:14:51,633
THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE
ANY SECRETS
256
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:55,500
AND THAT WE HAD TO SPEND
MORE QUALITY TIME TOGETHER.
257
00:14:55,567 --> 00:14:58,301
HE DIDN'T CRY A LOT,
258
00:14:58,368 --> 00:15:01,101
BUT I REMEMBER
TEARS COMING DOWN HIS FACE.
259
00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:07,533
AND I'VE GOT
NO ANSWER FOR HIM.
HE WAS JUST LISTENING TO ME.
260
00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:11,934
IT WAS THE WORST DAY
OF MY LIFE.
261
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,267
I CRIED ALL NIGHT.
262
00:15:14,334 --> 00:15:17,000
Spencer:
THANK YOU SO MUCH.THIS IS REALLY NICE.
263
00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:18,500
Man:
GORGEOUS.
264
00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:20,533
Spencer:
LOOK AT EACH OTHERNOT AT ME.
265
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:23,301
LOOK AT EACH OTHER.
266
00:15:23,368 --> 00:15:27,000
Sean:
PARTICIPATING IN THEINSTALLATION AND GETTING NAKED,
267
00:15:27,067 --> 00:15:30,101
I DON'T THINK
I COULD HAVE DONE IT
268
00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:33,067
UNLESS IT WAS A GROUP
OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO WERE
HIV POSITIVE.
269
00:15:33,134 --> 00:15:37,334
THAT GAVE ME A STRENGTH
AND A SENSE OF COMMUNITY.
270
00:15:38,734 --> 00:15:40,834
( camera clicks )
271
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:43,034
Elizabeth:
I HAVE SO MANYCHANGES IN MY BODY
272
00:15:43,101 --> 00:15:45,334
DUE TO THE DISEASE
273
00:15:45,401 --> 00:15:49,633
THAT I WAS KIND OF ASHAMED
OF SHOWING MY BODY,
274
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:52,267
BUT THEN I FELT
COMFORTABLE.
275
00:15:52,334 --> 00:15:55,700
VINNY,
WHICH WAS TOUGHER, THE BELLY
OR SHOWING THE PENIS?
276
00:15:55,767 --> 00:15:57,234
OH NO, THE BELLY.
277
00:15:57,301 --> 00:15:59,267
IT'S REALLY TOUGH
FOR VINNY,
278
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:01,301
BECAUSE HE HAS TROUBLE
MOVING AROUND.
279
00:16:01,368 --> 00:16:03,800
HE FEELS
VERY SELF-CONSCIOUS.
280
00:16:03,867 --> 00:16:07,767
HE FEELS THAT
MAYBE IF HE COULD DO
A LITTLE MORE YOGA
281
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:10,401
THE BELLY WOULD GO AWAY--
AND IT WOULDN'T GO AWAY.
282
00:16:10,468 --> 00:16:14,301
HE'S NOT FAT.
IT'S NOT ANYTHING
HE CAN GET RID OF.
283
00:16:14,368 --> 00:16:16,834
IT'S AIDS-RELATED
LIPODYSTROPHY.
284
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:20,267
IT'S A REDISTRIBUTION
OF LIPIDS FAT
285
00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:23,234
AROUND YOUR ORGANS
OR AROUND BODY PARTS,
286
00:16:23,301 --> 00:16:27,067
SUCH AS "THE BUFFALO HUMP,"
THE HUMP THAT'S ON THE BACK
OF YOUR NECK.
287
00:16:27,134 --> 00:16:29,800
I HAVE A HUMP ON MY BACK
BETWEEN MY SHOULDERS.
288
00:16:29,867 --> 00:16:33,533
I HAVE A BIG NECK,
BIG BELLY,
289
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,167
VERY VERY
SKINNY LEGS.
290
00:16:36,234 --> 00:16:39,734
EVERYTHING IS
DUE TO THE DIFFERENT
PROTEASE INHIBITORS
291
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,667
THAT I HAVE BEEN ON.
292
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:45,867
THE FAT IN MY BODY HAS
GONE TO THE WRONG PLACES.
293
00:16:45,934 --> 00:16:49,401
EVEN THE MOST GORGEOUS
BUFF GYM-BODY THERE
294
00:16:49,468 --> 00:16:52,567
THAT HAD HIV
SPENDS A LOT OF TIME
295
00:16:52,633 --> 00:16:55,401
THINKING ABOUT
THAT DISTENDED BELLY
296
00:16:55,468 --> 00:16:57,633
AND THINKING ABOUT
THOSE DISTORTIONS
297
00:16:57,700 --> 00:17:00,468
IN ANOTHER PERSON,
298
00:17:00,533 --> 00:17:03,234
AND HAS A LOT
OF EMPATHY FOR THAT
299
00:17:03,301 --> 00:17:05,967
BECAUSE THEY SEE THAT
IN THEIR OWN FUTURE.
300
00:17:06,034 --> 00:17:07,900
AND YET HERE
301
00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:11,267
WE ALL KNEW THAT WE
SHARED CERTAIN FEARS,
302
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:14,034
WE SHARED CERTAIN FEELINGS
ABOUT OUR BODIES
303
00:17:14,101 --> 00:17:17,201
AND THAT COLLECTIVELY
WE COULD--
304
00:17:17,267 --> 00:17:19,867
WE COULD HELP HEAL THAT.
305
00:17:19,934 --> 00:17:22,101
Spencer:
VERY STILL.
306
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,500
Shawn:
IT WAS A UNIQUEMOMENT TOO,
307
00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:29,167
TO JUST FORGET FOR
A MOMENT THAT YOU'RE
HIV POSITIVE
308
00:17:29,234 --> 00:17:31,500
BECAUSE YOU'RE WORRIED
ABOUT BEING NAKED
309
00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:34,134
AND ABOUT,
"AM I GOING TO RUB
SOMEBODY THE WRONG WAY?
310
00:17:34,201 --> 00:17:36,468
WHERE'S MY ELBOW GOING
BACK THERE? SORRY, MAN."
311
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:39,401
I THINK EVERYBODY
IN THE ROOM
AT ONE POINT
312
00:17:39,468 --> 00:17:42,401
COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT
BEING HIV POSITIVE
313
00:17:42,468 --> 00:17:45,434
EVEN THOUGH
THAT WAS THE REASON
THEY WERE THERE.
314
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:49,034
Spencer:
OKAY, HERE WE GO AGAIN.STAY STILL.
315
00:17:53,734 --> 00:17:56,368
Julia:
WHEN I WAS DIAGNOSED
316
00:17:56,434 --> 00:17:59,434
I DIDN'T REACT
IN ANY PARTICULAR WAY.
317
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:02,767
I WAS ALREADY AN ADDICT.
I WAS TRYING TO KILL
MYSELF SLOWLY, SO--
318
00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:06,734
THAT WAS KIND OF LIKE,
"WELL, THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT."
319
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,734
IT DIDN'T REQUIRE
I DO ANYTHING MORE.
320
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:12,401
I DIDN'T HAVE TO TAKE
ANY MORE PILLS, IF YOU WILL,
321
00:18:12,468 --> 00:18:15,800
OR CUT MY WRISTS.
I WAS MISERABLE FOR YEARS.
322
00:18:15,867 --> 00:18:19,500
I'D BEEN SO DEPRESSED
FOR SO LONG.
323
00:18:19,567 --> 00:18:21,600
I HAVE A HISTORY
OF SEXUAL ABUSE
324
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:24,834
AND THAT HAS COLORED
MY WHOLE SENSE OF SELF
325
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:27,267
AND MY BODY IMAGE
FOR YEARS.
326
00:18:27,334 --> 00:18:30,167
I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE
TO COME OUT FROM BEHIND THAT.
327
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:32,900
I WANTED TO BE PROUD
OF WHO I AM,
328
00:18:32,967 --> 00:18:34,633
AND I WANTED
TO FIND OUT
329
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:37,967
AND FIGURE OUT
HOW TO BRING THAT PRIDE
BACK TO MY FAMILY.
330
00:18:39,434 --> 00:18:41,134
IT'S A PRETTY
TALL ORDER
331
00:18:41,201 --> 00:18:44,067
BECAUSE BEING
THIS WOMAN,
332
00:18:44,134 --> 00:18:48,034
THIS TRIP MEANS SO MANY THINGS.
IT MEANS YOU'RE LIVING
WITH HIV.
333
00:18:48,101 --> 00:18:51,468
IT MEANS YOU HAVE
A HISTORY OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE,
PROSTITUTION, HIV.
334
00:18:51,533 --> 00:18:53,434
IT MEANS
ALL THOSE THINGS.
335
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,834
BUT IT ALSO MEANS
A PERSON OF STRENGTH.
336
00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:58,500
A PERSON WITH A PAST, YES,
BUT A PERSON WITH A FUTURE.
337
00:18:58,567 --> 00:19:01,633
A PERSON WITH
SOME HOPE, STRENGTH, LOVE--
338
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:04,101
THAT'S WHAT IT
MEANS TO ME.
339
00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:05,867
Spencer:
OKAY, LOOK HERE.
340
00:19:05,934 --> 00:19:08,867
VERY GOOD.
DON'T MOVE.
341
00:19:08,934 --> 00:19:11,434
EVERYONE,
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
342
00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:13,967
ONE...
OPEN YOUR EYES.
343
00:19:14,034 --> 00:19:16,533
TWO... GREAT.
344
00:19:17,934 --> 00:19:19,734
Ron:
I THINK THAT EVERYONE
345
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,101
PROBABLY FELT
A SENSE OF CAMARADERIE.
346
00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:25,368
WE'RE ALL NAKED,
WE'RE ALL HERE,
347
00:19:25,434 --> 00:19:27,401
WE'RE ALL POSITIVE,
348
00:19:27,468 --> 00:19:31,067
BUT WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT
IN SOME WAY.
349
00:19:37,234 --> 00:19:41,167
Mark:
WE WERE MARRIEDABOUT 10 YEARS AGO.
350
00:19:41,234 --> 00:19:43,800
WE PETITIONED
THE VATICAN IN ROME,
351
00:19:43,867 --> 00:19:46,533
AND WE ACTUALLY GOT
OUR PAPAL BLESSING.
352
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:49,067
MARK PROPOSED
AT CAFE RAFAEL,
353
00:19:49,134 --> 00:19:51,468
WHICH IS JUST
AROUND THE CORNER
FROM HERE.
354
00:19:51,533 --> 00:19:53,500
I GOT DOWN
ON ONE KNEE
355
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:56,834
AND HAD A BIG,
OVERSIZED PLASTIC
ENGAGEMENT RING.
356
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:59,567
THERE WE HAVE
OUR CAKE TOP.
357
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,267
I REMEMBER SAYING,
"OH MY GOD, GET UP.
GET UP."
358
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:04,468
"WILL YOU--?"
"I SAID GET UP."
359
00:20:04,533 --> 00:20:06,867
AND THEN YOU
FINALLY SAID YES.
360
00:20:06,934 --> 00:20:08,867
- YEAH.
- AND THEN I GOT UP.
361
00:20:08,934 --> 00:20:11,633
OUR MARRIAGE
HAS LASTED LONGER
362
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:15,633
THAN SOME OF THE STRAIGHT
MARRIAGES IN OUR FAMILY, SO--
( laughs )
363
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:19,167
I DO NOT HAVE AIDS.
I'M HIV POSITIVE.
364
00:20:19,234 --> 00:20:21,401
I'VE BEEN HIV POSITIVE
FOR 20 YEARS.
365
00:20:21,468 --> 00:20:25,900
- VINNY, YOU'VE BEEN HIV...?
- POSITIVE FOR 14 YEARS.
366
00:20:25,967 --> 00:20:29,533
- AND...?
- AND AIDS FOR 10.
367
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:33,201
Mark:
THE DIFFERENCEBETWEEN HIV AND AIDS
368
00:20:33,267 --> 00:20:36,234
IS A SOMEWHAT
IMAGINARY
369
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:39,301
BUT VERY IMPORTANT
BOUNDARY
370
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:43,134
BETWEEN BEING
HIV-POSITIVE AND HEALTHY
371
00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:46,267
AND HAVING
"FULL-BLOWN AIDS."
372
00:20:46,334 --> 00:20:50,301
IF YOU GET LESS
THAN 200 T-CELLS
IN REPEATED BLOOD WORK,
373
00:20:50,368 --> 00:20:51,834
THEN YOU HAVE AIDS.
374
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:55,500
WHEN I WAS FIRST DIAGNOSED
WITH HIV, I THOUGHT--
375
00:20:55,567 --> 00:20:58,434
WELL, THERE WAS NO SUCH THING
AS HIV IN 1987.
376
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:02,201
IT WAS AIDS-RELATED COMPLEX,
A.R.C. OR WHATEVER--
377
00:21:02,267 --> 00:21:04,834
AND I THOUGHT
I WOULD DIE.
378
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:08,134
I THOUGHT--
I WAS WAITING TO DIE.
379
00:21:08,201 --> 00:21:10,633
MY PLANNING WINDOW
BECAME VERY SHORT.
380
00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:13,401
I STOPPED BUYING
NEW CLOTHES.
381
00:21:13,468 --> 00:21:15,533
WHO'S GOING
TO NEED 'EM?
382
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,533
THE ANNUAL CHECK-UP
AT THE DENTIST'S OFFICE--
383
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,800
HEY, WHY WASTE MY TIME
WITH THAT?
384
00:21:22,867 --> 00:21:25,533
I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE
FOR FIVE YEARS EITHER.
385
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:29,101
NOBODY.
I COULD NOT TELL ANYONE.
386
00:21:29,167 --> 00:21:31,134
OH GOD,
BACK IN THOSE DAYS,
387
00:21:31,201 --> 00:21:34,667
LOVERS WERE
LEAVING ONE ANOTHER.
388
00:21:34,734 --> 00:21:37,234
NEIGHBORS WERE
FREAKING OUT.
389
00:21:37,301 --> 00:21:39,301
FAMILIES
WERE FREAKING OUT.
390
00:21:39,368 --> 00:21:41,334
I HAD THREE ROOMMATES.
391
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:44,034
I DIDN'T KNOW HOW THEY
WOULD DEAL WITH IT.
392
00:21:44,101 --> 00:21:47,401
I DIDN'T KNOW HOW
TO SHARE IT WITH THEM...
393
00:21:50,533 --> 00:21:52,633
SO I KEPT IT TO MYSELF.
394
00:21:52,700 --> 00:21:55,034
I HAD FRIENDS
THAT I HAD TOLD
395
00:21:55,101 --> 00:21:57,434
AROUND THE SAME TIME,
396
00:21:57,500 --> 00:22:01,067
AND THEY WOULDN'T
LET ME TOUCH THEIR KIDS.
397
00:22:01,134 --> 00:22:04,500
YOU KNOW, THERE WERE BABIES--
BIG LARGE ITALIAN FAMILY.
398
00:22:04,567 --> 00:22:07,867
I REMEMBER
SOMEBODY WALKED BY
399
00:22:07,934 --> 00:22:10,301
AND SNATCHED A KID
OUT OF MY ARM
400
00:22:10,368 --> 00:22:13,368
OR WOULDN'T LET ME
EAT FROM THEIR PLATES.
401
00:22:13,434 --> 00:22:17,434
I WENT THROUGH--
I ESTRANGED MYSELF
FROM THEM FOR YEARS
402
00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:19,368
BECAUSE I COULDN'T,
YOU KNOW--
403
00:22:19,434 --> 00:22:22,401
I COULDN'T DEAL
WITH THEIR PHOBIA.
404
00:22:22,468 --> 00:22:25,468
Spencer:
THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU,GO-- STAY ON THE CHAIR.
405
00:22:25,533 --> 00:22:27,800
AND THE PERSON NEXT TO YOU
GO UP ON THE COUNTER.
406
00:22:27,867 --> 00:22:30,000
SO, BOOM BOOM BOOM.
407
00:22:30,067 --> 00:22:33,000
YES, ON THE COUNTER.
EVERYONE JUST FALLS
AND DRAPES.
408
00:22:33,067 --> 00:22:36,500
EVEN IF
YOU FALL OFF ONTO PEOPLE,
IT'S GOING TO BE JUST LIKE--
409
00:22:36,567 --> 00:22:39,101
LIKE NOODLE SOUP.
410
00:22:39,167 --> 00:22:41,934
ALL RIGHT.
HERE WE GO.
ONE...
411
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,434
TWO, THREE...
DROP.
412
00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:49,533
VERY GOOD.
VERY GOOD IN THE FRONT.
VERY GOOD!
413
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,201
HERE WE GO.
414
00:22:51,267 --> 00:22:55,201
UM, RIGHT OVER HERE,
COULD YOU COVER YOUR
SPECIAL PORTIONS?
415
00:22:55,267 --> 00:22:57,967
( laughter )
416
00:23:01,633 --> 00:23:03,633
Shawn:
I GREW UP INWAYNESBORO, VIRGINIA,
417
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:07,034
AND WHEN I WAS
TESTED FOR HIV
418
00:23:07,101 --> 00:23:09,700
IT WAS 1987.
I WAS IN THE SIXTH GRADE.
419
00:23:09,767 --> 00:23:12,734
MY PARENTS WANTED
TO GET ME TESTED
BECAUSE SO MANY PEOPLE
420
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,567
IN THE HEMOPHILIA COMMUNITY
WERE TESTING POSITIVE
FOR HIV
421
00:23:16,633 --> 00:23:18,800
BECAUSE OF THE BLOOD
PRODUCTS.
422
00:23:18,867 --> 00:23:21,900
AND WHEN I WAS TESTED,
IT CAME BACK POSITIVE.
423
00:23:21,967 --> 00:23:24,700
ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE
MY PARENTS TOLD
424
00:23:24,767 --> 00:23:26,567
WAS MY SIXTH-GRADE
TEACHER,
425
00:23:26,633 --> 00:23:28,567
BECAUSE I HAD BEEN
MISSING A LOT OF SCHOOL,
426
00:23:28,633 --> 00:23:30,533
BECAUSE I WAS GETTING
SORE THROATS
427
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,334
THAT I COULDN'T
REALLY GET OVER.
428
00:23:32,401 --> 00:23:34,967
MY TEACHER,
SHE HAD SOME CONCERNS
429
00:23:35,034 --> 00:23:37,201
ABOUT HIV TRANSMISSION.
430
00:23:37,267 --> 00:23:40,134
SHE WANTED
TO KNOW IF I WAS A RISK
TO THE OTHER STUDENTS,
431
00:23:40,201 --> 00:23:42,834
SO SHE WENT
TO HER DOCTOR.
432
00:23:42,900 --> 00:23:45,368
AND HER DOCTOR
WAS EITHER ON THE SCHOOL BOARD
433
00:23:45,434 --> 00:23:48,368
OR HAD CLOSE CONNECTIONS
WITH THE WAYNESBORO
SCHOOL BOARD,
434
00:23:48,434 --> 00:23:52,167
AND I WAS EXPELLED
FROM PUBLIC SCHOOL.
435
00:23:52,234 --> 00:23:55,633
I WAS ALLOWED BACK IN
JUST BECAUSE MY PARENTS
BATTLED THEM--
436
00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:58,500
WITH LAWYERS
WHO TOLD THEM
IT WAS ILLEGAL,
437
00:23:58,567 --> 00:24:00,533
WITH DOCTORS
WHO TOLD THEM,
438
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:04,533
"SHAWN IS NOT A DANGER
TO THE OTHER STUDENTS.
439
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,867
HE'S NOT GOING
TO BE RUNNING AROUND
440
00:24:06,934 --> 00:24:09,700
HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX
DURING SCIENCE CLASS."
441
00:24:09,767 --> 00:24:12,800
YOU KNOW,
A LOT OF THE FEARS
WERE SO IRRATIONAL.
442
00:24:12,867 --> 00:24:14,900
A LOT OF PEOPLE
IN MY COMMUNITY
443
00:24:14,967 --> 00:24:17,700
WHO THOUGHT THEY DIDN'T
HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT
444
00:24:17,767 --> 00:24:20,067
REALIZED
"THIS IS OUT THERE."
445
00:24:23,468 --> 00:24:27,401
Spence:
I HEARD MY PARENTSAND THEIR PEER GROUP SAY
446
00:24:27,468 --> 00:24:31,401
THAT AIDS WAS
A GOD-GIVEN
447
00:24:31,468 --> 00:24:35,368
DEATH WISH AGAINST
HOMOSEXUALITY,
448
00:24:35,434 --> 00:24:37,334
SO I WAS SCARED
TO SAY ANYTHING
449
00:24:37,401 --> 00:24:39,434
BECAUSE THEY
TRULY DID BELIEVE THAT.
450
00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:42,000
IF YOU'RE GOING
TO TELL A FRIEND,
"I HAVE CANCER,"
451
00:24:42,067 --> 00:24:44,201
THAT FRIEND WILL FEEL
SORRY FOR YOU.
452
00:24:44,267 --> 00:24:47,734
"OH, I'M SO SORRY.
OH, SHE HAS CANCER.
SHE'S GOING TO DIE."
453
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,767
IF YOU'RE GOING
TO TELL THIS PERSON,
"OH, I HAVE AIDS."
454
00:24:50,834 --> 00:24:54,500
THE PERSON WILL JUST LOOK
AND SAY, "OH MY GOD,
WHAT DID SHE DO?"
455
00:24:54,567 --> 00:24:56,334
I MEAN,
"SHE DESERVES IT."
456
00:24:56,401 --> 00:24:58,667
( chattering )
457
00:25:03,567 --> 00:25:06,700
Ron:
I'M SINGLE.IT'S DIFFICULT--
458
00:25:06,767 --> 00:25:08,834
THE DISCLOSURE FACTOR.
459
00:25:08,900 --> 00:25:11,334
HOW DO YOU
TELL THE PERSON?
460
00:25:11,401 --> 00:25:13,434
HOW IS THIS PERSON
GOING TO REACT?
461
00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:15,468
I ONCE HAD
AN ATTORNEY
462
00:25:15,533 --> 00:25:18,000
WHO WAS IN A GROUP
WITH ME.
463
00:25:18,067 --> 00:25:22,734
HE AND I HAD JUST
THIS TERRIBLE...
464
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,533
DEBATE ONE NIGHT.
465
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,500
HE TOLD ME THAT
THE "LAST CLEAR CHANCE"
DOCTRINE
466
00:25:28,567 --> 00:25:32,434
OBLIGATED ME
TO DISCLOSE MY STATUS
467
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:35,368
TO PEOPLE
AUTOMATICALLY,
468
00:25:35,434 --> 00:25:38,034
AND I DISAGREED
WITH THAT.
469
00:25:38,101 --> 00:25:42,034
I TOLD HIM THAT SAFE SEX
IS AN INDIVIDUAL
RESPONSIBILITY.
470
00:25:42,101 --> 00:25:44,734
IF I MEET A PERSON
IN A SEX CLUB,
471
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:48,000
I'M NOT GOING
TO RAISE THE ISSUE
472
00:25:48,067 --> 00:25:50,967
BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T
GO TO SEX CLUBS
473
00:25:51,034 --> 00:25:54,201
TO HEAR ABOUT
PEOPLE'S STATUSES.
474
00:25:57,567 --> 00:26:01,101
HOWEVER, I HAVE BEEN
ASKED IN A SEX CLUB,
475
00:26:01,167 --> 00:26:03,201
AND I'VE DISCLOSED.
476
00:26:03,267 --> 00:26:06,167
I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM
IF THE QUESTION IS
ASKED OF ME--
477
00:26:06,234 --> 00:26:07,667
NO MATTER WHERE IT IS--
478
00:26:07,734 --> 00:26:10,567
BUT I'M NOT GOING
TO VOLUNTEER IT
479
00:26:10,633 --> 00:26:14,134
IN CERTAIN
SITUATIONS
480
00:26:14,201 --> 00:26:17,101
AND I DON'T THINK
IT'S NECESSARY.
481
00:26:17,167 --> 00:26:20,834
I THINK IF YOU WANT TO KNOW,
THEN YOU'LL INQUIRE.
482
00:26:22,734 --> 00:26:25,301
Spencer:
KEEP STILL.
483
00:26:26,334 --> 00:26:28,434
VERY GOOD.
484
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,134
NOW IF YOU CAN ALL
LOOK AT EACH OTHER NOW.
485
00:26:38,934 --> 00:26:42,600
IS EVERYONE OKAY?
THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT
ONCE THIS HAPPENS.
486
00:26:42,667 --> 00:26:45,500
OKAY, THERE YOU GO.
THAT'S PERFECT.
487
00:26:45,567 --> 00:26:47,834
OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S VERY RELAXED.
488
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:49,867
Sean:
WE FOCUSED SO MUCHON GIVING BACK
489
00:26:49,934 --> 00:26:52,234
THE POSSIBILITY OF SURVIVAL
TO PEOPLE WITH HIV,
490
00:26:52,301 --> 00:26:54,500
WHICH IS
UNBELIEVABLY IMPORTANT,
491
00:26:54,567 --> 00:26:56,633
BUT IT HAS CONTRIBUTED
TO THE EROSION
492
00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:59,700
OF THE MESSAGE THAT HIV
IS A REALLY BAD THING.
493
00:26:59,767 --> 00:27:03,201
IT MESSES UP YOUR LIFE.
YOU DON'T WANT TO GET IT.
494
00:27:03,267 --> 00:27:06,533
THERE ARE ACTUALLY PEOPLE
THAT BELIEVE THAT THESE DRUGS
495
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,834
ARE SO PROGRESSIVE
496
00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:11,667
THAT EVEN IF
THEY DID GET HIV,
497
00:27:11,734 --> 00:27:13,434
IT DOESN'T CONCERN
THEM ANYMORE.
498
00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:16,500
THEY'LL JUST TAKE DRUGS
AND THEY'LL LIVE A FULL LIFE.
WHO CARES?
499
00:27:16,567 --> 00:27:19,034
Spence:
OKAY, DON'T MOVE,VERY STILL.
500
00:27:19,101 --> 00:27:22,967
Barbara:
PEOPLE ARE SO LAXAND SO CAVALIER,
501
00:27:23,034 --> 00:27:25,234
WHICH IS HOW I GOT HIV
IN THE FIRST PLACE--
502
00:27:25,301 --> 00:27:28,767
WAS BECAUSE THIS WAS
SOMEBODY ELSE'S DISEASE.
503
00:27:28,834 --> 00:27:32,667
WHEN MY BOYFRIEND AND I
GOT BACK TOGETHER IN 1988,
504
00:27:32,734 --> 00:27:35,334
WE DISCUSSED THE IDEA
OF SAFE SEX.
505
00:27:35,401 --> 00:27:38,167
WE DECIDED
WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT SAFE SEX
506
00:27:38,234 --> 00:27:40,468
BECAUSE THIS
IS A GAY MEN'S DISEASE,
507
00:27:40,533 --> 00:27:43,500
THIS IS FOR I.V. DRUG USERS.
WHAT DO WE HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT THIS FOR?
508
00:27:43,567 --> 00:27:45,700
WELL... HELLO!
509
00:27:48,134 --> 00:27:52,201
HE HAD FULL-BLOWN AIDS.
HE HAD BEEN WALKING AROUND
WITH IT MUCH LONGER THAN ME,
510
00:27:52,267 --> 00:27:55,734
AND HE PASSED ON IN '92.
511
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,434
AND MY DOCTOR TOLD ME
OVER THE PHONE
512
00:27:58,500 --> 00:28:01,167
THAT MY TEST RESULTS
CAME BACK POSITIVE.
513
00:28:01,234 --> 00:28:03,201
FIRST OF ALL,
I THOUGHT I WAS GOING
514
00:28:03,267 --> 00:28:05,301
TO DROP DEAD
WITHIN SIX MONTHS.
515
00:28:05,368 --> 00:28:07,600
I STARTED
PLANNING MY WILL.
516
00:28:07,667 --> 00:28:09,800
THEN I CALLED UP
A COUPLE OF FRIENDS OF MINE
517
00:28:09,867 --> 00:28:12,167
AND TOLD THEM I WANTED
TO PLAN MY FUNERAL.
518
00:28:12,234 --> 00:28:16,401
EVERYTHING WAS JUST SO
SELF-CONSCIOUS TO ME.
519
00:28:16,468 --> 00:28:20,401
I JUST FELT
LIKE A WALKING
LETHAL WEAPON.
520
00:28:21,967 --> 00:28:24,767
OKAY, WHEN YOU'RE
DROPPING THIS TIME,
521
00:28:24,834 --> 00:28:26,401
DON'T DROP
LIKE YOU'RE SITTING.
522
00:28:26,468 --> 00:28:29,034
DROP LIKE YOU'RE LYING.
OKAY?
523
00:28:29,101 --> 00:28:31,468
SO YOU'RE NOT PROPPING
YOURSELF UP BY AN ARM,
524
00:28:31,533 --> 00:28:34,301
AND FEEL FREE TO RECLINE
ON SOMEONE YOU KNOW--
525
00:28:34,368 --> 00:28:36,700
- OR DON'T KNOW.
- ( laughter )
526
00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:42,800
ALL RIGHT, ONE,
TWO, THREE.
527
00:28:46,101 --> 00:28:48,567
THAT'S FANTASTIC.
THAT'S-- OH, THIS IS GREAT.
528
00:28:48,633 --> 00:28:50,734
THIS--
OH, THIS IS NICE.
529
00:28:56,434 --> 00:28:59,567
Shawn:
TWO YEARS AFTERI WAS DIAGNOSED WITH HIV
530
00:28:59,633 --> 00:29:01,600
MY MOM BROUGHT UP
THE TOPIC
531
00:29:01,667 --> 00:29:04,967
OF STARTING TREATMENT
FOR HIV.
532
00:29:05,034 --> 00:29:08,468
SHE WAS GETTING
A LOT OF PRESSURE
FROM MY DOCTOR.
533
00:29:08,533 --> 00:29:10,834
A.Z.T. WAS THE ONLY ONE
THAT WAS AROUND
534
00:29:10,900 --> 00:29:12,800
UNTIL '95 OR SO.
535
00:29:12,867 --> 00:29:14,834
THERE WERE A COUPLE
OF OTHERS,
536
00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:18,034
BUT THAT WAS JUST
TO PROLONG YOUR LIFE
A LITTLE BIT.
537
00:29:18,101 --> 00:29:21,234
I WATCHED PEOPLE
SUFFER SO HORRIBLY
538
00:29:21,301 --> 00:29:23,267
AND I'VE HAD SEVERAL PEOPLE
DIE IN MY ARMS.
539
00:29:23,334 --> 00:29:26,000
IT WAS JUST HORRENDOUS,
THESE PAINFUL DEATHS
540
00:29:26,067 --> 00:29:30,034
WITH CANCERS ALL OVER--
BLACK AND BLUE ALL OVER
THEIR ARMS AND FACES,
541
00:29:30,101 --> 00:29:34,067
THESE BEAUTIFUL, SWEET,
WONDERFUL, GIVING PEOPLE.
542
00:29:34,134 --> 00:29:37,301
IN 1994 THE PROTEASE
INHIBITORS CAME,
543
00:29:37,368 --> 00:29:40,468
SO I'VE BEEN ON
CRIXIVAN, INVIRASE,
544
00:29:40,533 --> 00:29:42,800
SUSTIVA, KALETRA,
545
00:29:42,867 --> 00:29:47,067
VIREAD, VIDEX--
I MEAN EVERYTHING.
546
00:29:47,134 --> 00:29:49,368
SO IT WOULD BE
NOVIR AND FORTOVASE,
547
00:29:49,434 --> 00:29:52,468
VIDEX AND VIREAD,
THOSE ARE THE...
548
00:29:52,533 --> 00:29:55,368
THE ANTIVIRALS.
549
00:29:55,434 --> 00:29:57,800
AND THEN THERE'S
ALL THE REST OF THIS STUFF
550
00:29:57,867 --> 00:30:01,134
THAT I TAKE.
ALL THESE WONDERFUL MEDS.
551
00:30:01,201 --> 00:30:03,900
WHEN COMBINATION THERAPY
CAME OUT--
552
00:30:03,967 --> 00:30:05,767
AND...
553
00:30:05,834 --> 00:30:08,633
I AM AS EXTRAORDINARY
AN EXAMPLE
554
00:30:08,700 --> 00:30:10,900
OF SOMEONE WHO HAS
BENEFITED FROM THAT
555
00:30:10,967 --> 00:30:13,900
AS I KNOW--
556
00:30:13,967 --> 00:30:16,900
I WOULD SAY
WITHIN THREE DAYS
OF STARTING THE PILLS
557
00:30:16,967 --> 00:30:19,334
I KNEW I WAS
GETTING BETTER.
558
00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:22,700
IT WAS LIKE MY BODY
HAD BEEN A SWIMMING POOL
FULL OF VIRUS,
559
00:30:22,767 --> 00:30:24,533
AND SOMEONE
HAD PULLED THE PLUG
560
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,900
AND EVERY DAY
MORE AND MORE OF IT WAS
BEING DRAINED OUT OF ME.
561
00:30:27,967 --> 00:30:30,034
A LOT OF PEOPLE
ARE STILL ALIVE
562
00:30:30,101 --> 00:30:33,267
DUE TO THE COCKTAIL,
AND THERE ARE PLENTY
OF PEOPLE THAT I KNOW
563
00:30:33,334 --> 00:30:36,867
THAT ARE OVER 20-YEARS POSITIVE
THAT NEVER EVEN HAD TO TAKE
A DRUG YET,
564
00:30:36,934 --> 00:30:38,767
SO EACH PERSON
IS DIFFERENT.
565
00:30:38,834 --> 00:30:41,800
ARE THERE ANY PEOPLE
THAT ARE COUPLES HERE?
566
00:30:41,867 --> 00:30:43,834
I WOULD LIKE
WHOEVER IS A COUPLE
567
00:30:43,900 --> 00:30:46,234
TO EMBRACE--
AS YOU HAVE BEEN.
568
00:30:46,301 --> 00:30:48,867
Mark:
THE BEST NEWSYOU CAN GET
569
00:30:48,934 --> 00:30:51,201
IS TO BE TOLD
YOU'RE GOING TO DIE
570
00:30:51,267 --> 00:30:55,167
AND THEN NOT DIE,
BECAUSE WHEN YOU
REALIZE THAT
571
00:30:55,234 --> 00:30:58,167
THEN YOU GO,
"OH SHIT, I HAD ALL
THESE SCREWED UP THINGS.
572
00:30:58,234 --> 00:31:00,967
I WAS WORRIED
ABOUT THE MORTGAGE
AND I WASN'T WORRIED
573
00:31:01,034 --> 00:31:03,633
ABOUT SPENDING TIME
WITH MY FAMILY."
574
00:31:03,700 --> 00:31:06,967
NOBODY EVER DIES AND GOES,
"OH, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN
WORKING MORE."
575
00:31:07,034 --> 00:31:10,834
THEY ALWAYS GO,
"I MEANT TO DO THIS.
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN WRITING.
576
00:31:10,900 --> 00:31:14,834
I WANTED TO DO THIS."
AND WHEN YOU ARE HIT
OVER THE HEAD WITH
577
00:31:14,900 --> 00:31:18,834
"YOU ARE GOING TO DIE,"
IT REFOCUSES THINGS.
578
00:31:18,900 --> 00:31:20,867
I THINK THAT'S ONE
OF THE REASONS
579
00:31:20,934 --> 00:31:24,000
VINNY AND I HAVE HAD
SUCH A WONDERFUL
RELATIONSHIP,
580
00:31:24,067 --> 00:31:26,034
BECAUSE WE KEEP ON
BEING TOLD,
581
00:31:26,101 --> 00:31:29,167
"YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT
NOT HAVE MUCH MORE
TIME TOGETHER
582
00:31:29,234 --> 00:31:31,567
SO YOU BETTER
MAKE THE MOST OF IT."
583
00:31:33,734 --> 00:31:35,734
IT'S HARD.
584
00:31:37,767 --> 00:31:41,134
I PROMISED THAT I'D
OUT-LIVE HIM THOUGH.
585
00:31:42,267 --> 00:31:44,468
I THOUGHT HE MIGHT
NOT MAKE IT THROUGH
586
00:31:44,533 --> 00:31:46,401
WHEN I WAS
IN THE HOSPITAL
587
00:31:46,468 --> 00:31:50,101
AND HE WAS BEING
TAKEN CARE OF
BY THE NURSE
588
00:31:50,167 --> 00:31:53,334
AND HE WAS HAVING
A BAD SPELL.
589
00:31:53,401 --> 00:31:57,167
BUT NOW, ONCE AGAIN,
I'M THE HEALTHY ONE
590
00:31:57,234 --> 00:31:59,567
AND VINNY'S DOING
PRETTY GOOD TOO.
591
00:31:59,633 --> 00:32:02,101
I'M NOT DOING BAD.
592
00:32:02,167 --> 00:32:04,267
SO...
593
00:32:04,334 --> 00:32:06,867
( tearfully )
I GET A LITTLE
SAD THOUGH.
594
00:32:06,934 --> 00:32:09,368
HOW COME?
595
00:32:09,434 --> 00:32:11,700
I JUST DO.
596
00:32:14,368 --> 00:32:16,900
IT'S OKAY.
597
00:32:22,234 --> 00:32:25,067
Spencer:
I JUST WANT TO THANK EVERYONE.
IT'S BEEN SO NICE.
598
00:32:25,134 --> 00:32:27,201
THANK YOU.
599
00:32:39,667 --> 00:32:42,067
- AWESOME.
- NICE MEETING YOU.
600
00:32:42,134 --> 00:32:43,600
- THANK YOU.
- THANK YOU.
601
00:32:43,667 --> 00:32:46,101
IT WAS A GOOD JOB.
YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
602
00:32:46,167 --> 00:32:48,900
- I THINK IT WAS
A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
603
00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:50,633
I APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU.
604
00:32:50,700 --> 00:32:52,967
I REALLY APPRECIATE
YOU COMING.
THANK YOU.
605
00:33:00,301 --> 00:33:02,434
Mark:
I THINK IT WAS ABOUT
HALF AN HOUR LONGER
606
00:33:02,500 --> 00:33:04,368
THAN WHAT YOU
WERE REALLY UP FOR,
607
00:33:04,434 --> 00:33:08,301
- BUT YOU GOT
THROUGH IT.
- YEAH.
608
00:33:08,368 --> 00:33:11,934
MY HEART JUMPED
WHEN SPENCER ASKED ME
TO STAND ON THE COUNTERTOP,
609
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:16,000
BUT ONCE I CROSSED
THAT THRESHOLD I COULD
HAVE DONE ANYTHING IN THERE.
610
00:33:16,067 --> 00:33:17,767
I THINK WE'VE GOT
A COVER.
611
00:33:24,633 --> 00:33:27,468
I LIKE RIGHT HERE,
WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT HERE.
612
00:33:27,533 --> 00:33:28,967
RIGHT BACK THERE.
613
00:33:29,034 --> 00:33:31,667
- Assistant: WHICH ONE'S THAT?
- RIGHT.
614
00:33:38,101 --> 00:33:40,934
THIS IS A WONDERFUL
MOMENT FOR ME, SO THANK YOU.
615
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,401
Woman:
YOU SHOULD JUST BEBESIDE YOURSELF.
616
00:33:43,468 --> 00:33:46,201
- IT'S JUST AMAZING.
- I'M VERY HAPPY WITH IT.
617
00:33:46,267 --> 00:33:48,567
I'M EXCITED.
THIS WAS GREAT.
618
00:34:11,533 --> 00:34:14,533
Elizabeth:
I FELT THAT DOINGTHIS INSTALLATION,
619
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,167
IT WAS TO SHOW
THE WORLD WE ARE ALIVE.
620
00:34:18,234 --> 00:34:20,633
WE ARE SUFFERING
FROM THE DISEASE.
621
00:34:20,700 --> 00:34:22,600
WE HAVE TO FACE
622
00:34:22,667 --> 00:34:25,667
CHALLENGES EVERYDAY.
623
00:34:25,734 --> 00:34:29,101
Ron:
I THINK WE WERE KIND OFCOMMUNICATING TO ONE ANOTHER,
624
00:34:29,167 --> 00:34:32,101
YOU KNOW,
THAT "I'M HERE WITH YOU.
625
00:34:32,167 --> 00:34:34,434
I'M HERE FOR YOU.
626
00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:36,934
WE'RE ALL
IN THIS THING TOGETHER."
627
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,734
Julia:
I THINK THE MESSAGEIS THAT HIV-AIDS
628
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,700
AFFECTS ALL PEOPLE
OF ALL AGES, OF ALL COLORS,
629
00:34:43,767 --> 00:34:45,700
FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE,
630
00:34:45,767 --> 00:34:47,468
THAT WE'RE LIVING
AND THRIVING,
631
00:34:47,533 --> 00:34:50,334
THAT, IN FACT,
WE DON'T LOOK ANY DIFFERENT
FROM ANYONE ELSE
632
00:34:50,401 --> 00:34:52,234
AND THAT
IT COULD BE YOU.
633
00:34:52,301 --> 00:34:56,234
Spence:
THE SHOOT WASA DIVINE MOMENT FOR ME.
634
00:34:56,301 --> 00:34:59,201
I TACTILELY COULD FEEL
THE PRESENCE OF KENNY
AND KERRY,
635
00:34:59,267 --> 00:35:02,867
TONY AND ALL THESE
DIFFERENT PEOPLE--
THEY WERE THERE.
636
00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:05,234
THAT GIVES ME PEACE.
PERIOD.
637
00:35:05,301 --> 00:35:09,234
SO IF I DIE
RIGHT NOW OR TOMORROW
OR NEXT WEEK,
638
00:35:09,301 --> 00:35:12,934
I'M GOING TO DIE
VERY HAPPY AND VERY BLESSED.
639
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:28,734
Sean:
FEELING YOUR MORTALITYENABLES A CLARITY OF FOCUS.
640
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:31,334
YOU LEARN
ABOUT FRIENDS,
641
00:35:31,401 --> 00:35:32,767
YOU LEARN ABOUT
REAL LOVE,
642
00:35:32,834 --> 00:35:34,600
YOU REALLY GET
AN UNDERSTANDING
643
00:35:34,667 --> 00:35:36,633
OF WHAT UNCONDITIONAL
LOVE MEANS.
644
00:35:36,700 --> 00:35:40,667
YOU ALSO LEARN THAT
EVERYBODY IS GOING TO DIE,
645
00:35:40,734 --> 00:35:44,468
AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT,
SO THAT ISN'T NEWS
TO ANYONE.
646
00:35:44,533 --> 00:35:46,700
SO IT ISN'T ABOUT
HAVING INFORMATION,
647
00:35:46,767 --> 00:35:49,034
BUT IT'S ABOUT
LEARNING IT
648
00:35:49,101 --> 00:35:51,934
AND EXPERIENCING IT
IN YOUR LIFE AND REALIZING IT.
649
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,500
THAT MAKES
THE TIME WE HAVE
650
00:35:54,567 --> 00:35:57,401
WHILE WE'RE ALIVE
PRECIOUS AND IMPORTANT.
651
00:35:57,468 --> 00:36:01,401
FOR, I THINK, A LOT
OF SURVIVORS OF AIDS,
652
00:36:01,468 --> 00:36:04,234
IT'S GIVEN THEM
THE INSPIRATION
653
00:36:04,301 --> 00:36:06,468
AND EVEN COURAGE
654
00:36:06,533 --> 00:36:09,401
TO MAKE THEIR LIVES
IMPORTANT
655
00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:12,234
AND TO HAVE MEANING.
656
00:36:14,934 --> 00:36:16,867
( instrumental music playing )
50469
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