All language subtitles for A.P. Bio - 03x08 - Katie Holmes Day.PCOK.WEBRip-NTb+ION10.English.HI.C.edit.Addic7ed.com

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:07,172 --> 00:00:11,279 [SOFT MUSIC] 3 00:00:11,281 --> 00:00:13,637 The gifted young lady didn't know what to do. 4 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:16,643 Should she fly off to Hollywood for the big audition? 5 00:00:16,645 --> 00:00:18,181 Or should she stay in Toledo 6 00:00:18,183 --> 00:00:21,679 for a high-school production of "Damn Yankees?" 7 00:00:21,681 --> 00:00:23,013 So she asked her father. 8 00:00:23,015 --> 00:00:25,172 And her father replied, 9 00:00:25,174 --> 00:00:27,441 "What do you think is the right decision?" 10 00:00:27,443 --> 00:00:29,443 And she answered... 11 00:00:29,445 --> 00:00:32,713 ALL: I think I made a commitment... 12 00:00:32,715 --> 00:00:35,549 So I probably can't break that. 13 00:00:35,551 --> 00:00:37,120 Yes, children! 14 00:00:37,122 --> 00:00:38,828 But what about the big audition? 15 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,454 Why, she taped it herself 16 00:00:40,456 --> 00:00:42,489 and mailed it off to Los Angeles. 17 00:00:42,491 --> 00:00:44,291 Eh, it was a long shot. 18 00:00:44,293 --> 00:00:46,259 But if you don't dream... 19 00:00:46,261 --> 00:00:51,732 ALL: You'll never know if your dreams can happen. 20 00:00:51,734 --> 00:00:54,735 And when Kevin Williamson from the WB received the tape, 21 00:00:54,737 --> 00:00:57,806 he knew he had found his star. 22 00:00:57,808 --> 00:01:00,140 And the tomboy, best-friend role 23 00:01:00,142 --> 00:01:02,686 of little Joey Potter on "Dawson's Creek" 24 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:05,212 would be played by Toledo's very own 25 00:01:05,214 --> 00:01:07,681 - Katie Holmes. - ALL: Yay! 26 00:01:07,683 --> 00:01:09,216 [RAMONES' "LISTEN TO MY HEART"] 27 00:01:09,218 --> 00:01:10,584 One, two, three, four! 28 00:01:10,586 --> 00:01:13,253 ♪ Next time, I'll listen to my heart ♪ 29 00:01:13,255 --> 00:01:15,756 ♪ Next time, well, I'll be smart ♪ 30 00:01:15,758 --> 00:01:19,758 ♪♪ 31 00:01:23,015 --> 00:01:24,115 Good morning, Whitlock, 32 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:26,625 and a happy Katie Holmes Day Eve to you all. 33 00:01:26,627 --> 00:01:28,795 Tomorrow night the city of Toledo 34 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:31,738 will hold the annual Katie Holmes Day Pageant. 35 00:01:31,740 --> 00:01:35,242 Please donate any items you can for the rummage sale. 36 00:01:35,244 --> 00:01:37,887 All proceeds go to the local orphanage. 37 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:40,380 And as always, dream big. 38 00:01:40,382 --> 00:01:41,383 Katie did. 39 00:01:44,153 --> 00:01:46,420 Are you sure you want to give your boys away? 40 00:01:46,422 --> 00:01:47,721 I think they're worth a bunch. 41 00:01:47,723 --> 00:01:50,490 So who am I to keep this from happening? 42 00:01:50,492 --> 00:01:52,326 Oh. 43 00:01:52,328 --> 00:01:54,695 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 44 00:01:54,697 --> 00:01:56,632 [SIGHS] 45 00:01:58,267 --> 00:01:59,468 [SIGHS] 46 00:02:02,771 --> 00:02:05,238 Katie provides. [CHUCKLES] 47 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,208 [UPBEAT FOLK MUSIC] 48 00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:12,646 ♪♪ 49 00:02:12,648 --> 00:02:15,649 ♪ See the Katie, hear her sing ♪ 50 00:02:15,651 --> 00:02:18,685 ♪ In every musical, fall and spring ♪ 51 00:02:18,687 --> 00:02:21,688 ♪ She had a commitment she couldn't break ♪ 52 00:02:21,690 --> 00:02:24,424 ♪ So she sent a tape ♪ 53 00:02:24,426 --> 00:02:27,070 ♪♪ 54 00:02:27,072 --> 00:02:29,773 I can't believe it's already Katie Holmes Eve. 55 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:31,298 I barely slept last night. 56 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:34,468 Oh, me neither! I knutted all night. 57 00:02:34,470 --> 00:02:35,502 Don't you mean knit? 58 00:02:35,504 --> 00:02:36,570 Yeah, past tense. 59 00:02:36,572 --> 00:02:38,271 You don't say, "I digged a hole". 60 00:02:38,273 --> 00:02:40,374 Anyway, I could not sleep. 61 00:02:40,376 --> 00:02:42,309 And so I knutted for hours. 62 00:02:42,311 --> 00:02:44,788 And usually when I knut, you know, I fall straight asleep. 63 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:47,347 But I was so excited, I just knutted again. 64 00:02:47,349 --> 00:02:48,991 Sounds like me this weekend. 65 00:02:48,993 --> 00:02:50,126 I don't get it. 66 00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,285 Good morning, everybody. 67 00:02:51,287 --> 00:02:52,686 Hey, where do I drop off these donations? 68 00:02:52,688 --> 00:02:53,720 Oh, I'll take those. 69 00:02:53,722 --> 00:02:56,131 - Yeah? Great. - Whoa, "Pieces of April". 70 00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:57,167 - Nice. - Oh. 71 00:02:57,169 --> 00:02:59,960 Very on-brand for our Katie Holmes Day rummage sale. 72 00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:03,297 What do you mean... No. This is a real thing? 73 00:03:03,299 --> 00:03:05,599 Katie Holmes Day? 74 00:03:05,601 --> 00:03:07,367 You're t... so all of Toledo 75 00:03:07,369 --> 00:03:09,813 is just sort of unironically celebrating an actress 76 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:12,272 whose face, you know, to be quite honest, 77 00:03:12,274 --> 00:03:13,607 I have trouble remembering? 78 00:03:13,609 --> 00:03:15,542 She's just like a... like a... 79 00:03:15,544 --> 00:03:17,344 an adorable white girl with like a... 80 00:03:17,346 --> 00:03:19,479 you know, just a face and hair and eyes. 81 00:03:19,481 --> 00:03:20,514 Yeah, that's her. 82 00:03:20,516 --> 00:03:21,724 Oh, my God. That's right. 83 00:03:21,726 --> 00:03:23,107 You've been gone 20 years. 84 00:03:23,109 --> 00:03:25,352 You don't know anything about Katie Holmes Day. 85 00:03:25,354 --> 00:03:29,040 It's... it's a celebration of... of dream and wonder. 86 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,625 You're gonna hate it. 87 00:03:31,627 --> 00:03:34,294 Happy Katie Holmes Day Eve, Jack. 88 00:03:34,296 --> 00:03:35,696 - [ALL CHUCKLING] - Yeah. 89 00:03:35,698 --> 00:03:38,632 Listen, I need the keys to the driver's ed car. 90 00:03:38,634 --> 00:03:41,635 It's the base for the float in our Katie Holmes Day parade. 91 00:03:41,637 --> 00:03:44,471 The student council made a replica 92 00:03:44,473 --> 00:03:46,340 out of papier-mâché of the Buick 93 00:03:46,342 --> 00:03:48,059 that Katie drove in high school. 94 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,562 Well, you know, the driver's ed car is a Buick, 95 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,512 so you could just drive that. 96 00:03:52,514 --> 00:03:56,516 [ALL LAUGHING] 97 00:03:56,518 --> 00:03:58,819 [LAUGHING] That's so funny, Jack. 98 00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:01,455 Hers was a '94 with a dent in the hood. 99 00:04:01,457 --> 00:04:03,557 The 2007 Buick 100 00:04:03,559 --> 00:04:05,859 does not represent Katie's humble beginnings. 101 00:04:05,861 --> 00:04:08,395 - [ALL LAUGHING] - Okay. 102 00:04:08,397 --> 00:04:09,730 A Holmes on your head. 103 00:04:09,732 --> 00:04:11,865 - Nope. - Oh. 104 00:04:11,867 --> 00:04:13,400 [PHONE RINGING] 105 00:04:13,402 --> 00:04:15,076 Whitlock High? 106 00:04:15,078 --> 00:04:17,213 It's Mayor Wade CupsofCabbage. 107 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,572 I'll take it in my office. 108 00:04:18,574 --> 00:04:22,643 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 109 00:04:22,645 --> 00:04:25,830 Mayor CupsofCabbage. Hey... 110 00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:29,601 Yes, you... you want me to be in the... in the pageant? 111 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,551 [MOUTHING WORDS] 112 00:04:31,553 --> 00:04:35,489 Yes... yes, it would be an honor to play Kevin Williamson, 113 00:04:35,491 --> 00:04:38,425 the man who launched Katie Holmes's career. 114 00:04:38,427 --> 00:04:40,894 And I will not let you down this time. 115 00:04:40,896 --> 00:04:41,962 [PHONE RECEIVER CLATTERS] 116 00:04:41,964 --> 00:04:44,865 - He's giving me a second chance. - Yes! 117 00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,202 - What if I choke? - You can do this, Ralph. 118 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,669 I believe in you. 119 00:04:48,671 --> 00:04:50,971 It is just one line. It's ten words. 120 00:04:50,973 --> 00:04:52,706 "Hello, Katie. 121 00:04:52,708 --> 00:04:55,609 You are Joey Potter. Welcome to 'Dawson's Creek'". 122 00:04:55,611 --> 00:04:57,778 You need to immerse yourself in this character. 123 00:04:57,780 --> 00:05:00,480 For the next 24 hours, you're gonna be 124 00:05:00,482 --> 00:05:02,983 a Hollywood slick hotshot. 125 00:05:02,985 --> 00:05:04,785 I don't know. 126 00:05:04,787 --> 00:05:06,520 Unless... 127 00:05:06,522 --> 00:05:08,822 ♪♪ 128 00:05:08,824 --> 00:05:10,557 California Raisin. 129 00:05:10,559 --> 00:05:14,461 Oh! I've got goose bumps! 130 00:05:14,463 --> 00:05:17,931 Make me famous, Mr. Producer. 131 00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:21,568 ♪♪ 132 00:05:21,570 --> 00:05:22,703 All right. 133 00:05:22,705 --> 00:05:25,539 Go ahead and shut all the way up. 134 00:05:25,541 --> 00:05:26,673 Where's my garbage? 135 00:05:26,675 --> 00:05:28,775 We're using it as a bucket of fate. 136 00:05:28,777 --> 00:05:31,830 Yeah, in one bucket, there's sweet pudding, 137 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,648 representing a tasty dream come true. 138 00:05:34,650 --> 00:05:36,683 And in the other, a baby crab... 139 00:05:36,685 --> 00:05:38,685 its pinchers, a stark reminder 140 00:05:38,687 --> 00:05:40,854 that chasing your dreams can hurt. 141 00:05:40,856 --> 00:05:43,457 Got it. 142 00:05:43,459 --> 00:05:44,958 Sweet chocolate pudding! 143 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,861 Papa's gonna be a backup singer for Lizzo! 144 00:05:47,863 --> 00:05:49,563 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 145 00:05:49,565 --> 00:05:50,764 [LAUGHS] Guys. 146 00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:52,200 Ah, I got to say. 147 00:05:52,202 --> 00:05:55,092 This holiday is, uh... and I don't say this lightly... 148 00:05:55,094 --> 00:05:56,328 bonkers. 149 00:05:56,330 --> 00:05:58,398 Point, counterpoint, Mr. Griffin, 150 00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,773 it's actually not. 151 00:05:59,775 --> 00:06:00,789 Yeah. 152 00:06:00,791 --> 00:06:02,809 At 8:47 tomorrow night, 153 00:06:02,811 --> 00:06:04,778 you kiss someone on the forehead 154 00:06:04,780 --> 00:06:07,914 because that's when Katie had the talk with her wise dad 155 00:06:07,916 --> 00:06:10,410 which he ended with a forehead kiss. 156 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,453 Right. 157 00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:14,256 The entire holiday culminates in a glorious pageant. 158 00:06:14,258 --> 00:06:15,957 I've always wanted to play Katie Holmes, 159 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,058 - and I think this is the year. - Oh. 160 00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:19,692 And we make wish lists addressed 161 00:06:19,694 --> 00:06:20,794 to Katie in Hollywood, 162 00:06:20,796 --> 00:06:22,130 put them in our shoes, 163 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,898 and leave them in our front porches. 164 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:25,052 And the next morning, 165 00:06:25,054 --> 00:06:27,769 there's a fresh blueberry muffin in each shoe. 166 00:06:27,771 --> 00:06:29,904 So shoe muffins. 167 00:06:29,906 --> 00:06:31,572 Got it. Yeah. 168 00:06:31,574 --> 00:06:32,672 And you all do this? 169 00:06:32,674 --> 00:06:33,708 Oh. Not me. 170 00:06:33,710 --> 00:06:35,076 I don't celebrate Katie Holmes Day. 171 00:06:35,078 --> 00:06:36,845 Oh, finally, a sane person. 172 00:06:36,847 --> 00:06:38,713 My family celebrates Jamie Farr Day. 173 00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:41,485 My dad says that's Toledo's original top celebrity. 174 00:06:41,487 --> 00:06:44,664 So there's also a Klinger from "MASH" holiday. 175 00:06:44,666 --> 00:06:46,237 A world without Katie Holmes Day 176 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,922 is a world I don't want to live in. 177 00:06:47,924 --> 00:06:50,925 I like the sound of that. 178 00:06:50,927 --> 00:06:52,794 Tell me more of these traditions. 179 00:06:52,796 --> 00:06:55,897 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 180 00:06:55,899 --> 00:06:57,232 ♪♪ 181 00:06:57,234 --> 00:06:59,834 - Sorry I'm late. - Damn, girl. 182 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:03,004 - A 55-inch flat screen TV? - Oh... 183 00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,873 That is gonna bring in so much money. 184 00:07:04,875 --> 00:07:05,927 Forget porridge. 185 00:07:05,929 --> 00:07:07,300 Those orphans are about to have some 186 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,277 - R-r-r-r-regular soup. - Okay! 187 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:11,012 Uh, actually, this is... 188 00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:12,747 A gift from an angel. 189 00:07:12,749 --> 00:07:15,016 [EXHALES AWKWARDLY] That is so sweet. 190 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,521 But it... it's not a big deal. 191 00:07:17,523 --> 00:07:18,753 - And she's humble. - Mm. 192 00:07:18,755 --> 00:07:19,788 Amazing. 193 00:07:19,790 --> 00:07:21,255 - Mommy Warbucks. - Mm-hmm. 194 00:07:21,257 --> 00:07:22,957 A regular Mother Toledo. 195 00:07:22,959 --> 00:07:24,125 Oh. 196 00:07:24,127 --> 00:07:26,694 [CACKLING] Yes. 197 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:27,896 - Yeah... oh, good. - _ 198 00:07:27,898 --> 00:07:29,764 - Very good. - _ 199 00:07:29,766 --> 00:07:32,033 - Yes. - _ 200 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:34,068 I'd like to believe you have a genuine interest 201 00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:35,536 in this beloved holiday, 202 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,071 but your maniacal cackling 203 00:07:37,073 --> 00:07:39,513 has made me fear you're planning something nefarious. 204 00:07:39,515 --> 00:07:42,076 Your fears are... 205 00:07:42,078 --> 00:07:43,812 completely founded. 206 00:07:43,814 --> 00:07:46,247 Oh, I just thought of another tradition. 207 00:07:46,249 --> 00:07:48,750 It's the one where people who don't love the holiday 208 00:07:48,752 --> 00:07:49,851 just don't participate, 209 00:07:49,853 --> 00:07:52,222 and let the ones that really [BLEEP] love it enjoy it. 210 00:07:54,024 --> 00:07:55,323 Can we swear now? 211 00:07:55,325 --> 00:07:57,561 - [CELL PHONE VIBRATING] - Oh, shut up. Shut up. 212 00:07:57,563 --> 00:08:00,265 - Shut up, everybody. Shut up. - [PHONE CONTINUES VIBRATING] 213 00:08:00,267 --> 00:08:03,136 Oh, Mayor CupsofCabbage, what a pleasant surprise. 214 00:08:04,801 --> 00:08:07,335 I'm sorry. Come again. 215 00:08:07,337 --> 00:08:10,238 And a-a third time, 'cause it's insane. 216 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,675 I see. 217 00:08:14,945 --> 00:08:17,681 [STRAINING] 218 00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:21,818 I don't think that's coming off. 219 00:08:24,054 --> 00:08:26,087 That dumb-ass mayor cast me 220 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,718 as the lame WB assistant in the stupid pageant 221 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,887 for the sixth year in a row. 222 00:08:30,889 --> 00:08:34,829 Well, to be fair, you do give off strong assistant vibes. 223 00:08:34,831 --> 00:08:36,831 Just once I want to be Katie 224 00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:39,067 and say the big final line. 225 00:08:39,069 --> 00:08:40,235 It's bullshit. 226 00:08:40,237 --> 00:08:42,971 That's one A-word, one F-word, 227 00:08:42,973 --> 00:08:44,839 and one B-S-H word. 228 00:08:44,841 --> 00:08:46,307 Guys, Marissa's right, all right? 229 00:08:46,309 --> 00:08:48,042 This holiday is a complete sham. 230 00:08:48,044 --> 00:08:49,978 Mr. Griffin, is it fair to say 231 00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:52,280 that you have an especially large chip on your shoulder 232 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,083 because a Toledoan from your peer group 233 00:08:54,085 --> 00:08:57,869 went on to achieve her dreams and you're, you know, here? 234 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,004 No, Marcus. 235 00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,907 My problem is that you all believe 236 00:09:00,909 --> 00:09:03,763 a doe-eyed actress can make your dreams come true. 237 00:09:03,765 --> 00:09:05,899 It doesn't work that way. W-w-watch. 238 00:09:05,901 --> 00:09:08,034 Please, Katie Holmes, 239 00:09:08,036 --> 00:09:10,904 let me spend five more minutes with my dead mother. 240 00:09:10,906 --> 00:09:14,007 [SOFT MUSIC] 241 00:09:14,009 --> 00:09:16,557 Did she... is she here? My mother, is she here? 242 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:18,778 Oh, she isn't? Yeah... No, Because it doesn't work. 243 00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:20,180 Well, give her time. 244 00:09:20,182 --> 00:09:22,215 She has thousands of homes to visit. 245 00:09:22,217 --> 00:09:24,317 Marissa... 246 00:09:24,319 --> 00:09:27,887 we're gonna destroy Katie Holmes Day. 247 00:09:27,889 --> 00:09:30,159 Holy shit ass dick fart. 248 00:09:34,338 --> 00:09:37,607 [DRAMATIC MUSIC] 249 00:09:37,609 --> 00:09:39,165 ♪♪ 250 00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:42,068 [ENGINE TURNING OVER] 251 00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:43,837 Let's do this. 252 00:09:43,839 --> 00:09:47,073 ♪♪ 253 00:09:47,075 --> 00:09:48,174 - [SCHOOL BELL RINGING] - _ 254 00:09:48,176 --> 00:09:51,111 Ralph, the football team wants real energy drinks. 255 00:09:51,113 --> 00:09:53,913 They figured out that Gatorade Clear's just water. 256 00:09:53,915 --> 00:09:55,982 That's it. 257 00:09:55,984 --> 00:09:57,183 A football show. 258 00:09:57,185 --> 00:09:58,686 I can see it now. 259 00:09:58,688 --> 00:10:00,223 [IMITATING SPOILED DAUGHTER] Oh, pwetty pwease, 260 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:03,089 can I be in your sports show? 261 00:10:03,091 --> 00:10:04,325 [NORMAL VOICE] I'm your spoiled daughter 262 00:10:04,327 --> 00:10:05,995 that benefits from your success. 263 00:10:05,997 --> 00:10:08,648 - [IMITATING DAUGHTER] Come on. - Oh, of course, princess. 264 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,398 Give me some of that sugar that Daddy likes. 265 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,165 Oh. Mwah! 266 00:10:12,167 --> 00:10:15,001 This feels like an HR trap. 267 00:10:15,003 --> 00:10:18,071 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 268 00:10:18,073 --> 00:10:19,906 Oh. For reals? 269 00:10:19,908 --> 00:10:21,452 An old Garfield phone? 270 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,276 Mary, can you believe this? 271 00:10:23,278 --> 00:10:25,311 Uh, I cannot, Stephanie. 272 00:10:25,313 --> 00:10:27,213 Considering this queen right here 273 00:10:27,215 --> 00:10:29,460 just donated a flat screen TV 274 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,351 for the Katie Holmes Day rummage sale. 275 00:10:31,353 --> 00:10:34,120 I think the phone's fun. 276 00:10:34,122 --> 00:10:36,923 Hello, Garfield? Oh, well, it's me, an orphan. 277 00:10:36,925 --> 00:10:38,892 Oh, you love lasagna? Funny. 278 00:10:38,894 --> 00:10:41,127 I've never had lasagna, and I never will 279 00:10:41,129 --> 00:10:43,029 because we didn't raise any damn money 280 00:10:43,031 --> 00:10:44,431 with your sorry-ass phone. 281 00:10:44,433 --> 00:10:47,434 [ALL LAUGHING] 282 00:10:47,436 --> 00:10:50,403 Oh, and I am encouraged. Who's next? 283 00:10:50,405 --> 00:10:52,072 Do me. Do me! 284 00:10:52,074 --> 00:10:54,072 I brought stained Tupperware. Ooh. 285 00:10:54,074 --> 00:10:55,308 Give it to me. 286 00:10:55,310 --> 00:10:57,488 [IMITATING SPOILED DAUGHTER] You said I'd be a star. 287 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,179 You lied to me, Daddy. 288 00:10:59,181 --> 00:11:02,048 It was never you. It was these pills! 289 00:11:02,050 --> 00:11:03,183 [SOBBING] 290 00:11:03,185 --> 00:11:05,852 Hey. Can you sign off on payroll? 291 00:11:05,854 --> 00:11:08,088 Intern, you're the star now. 292 00:11:08,090 --> 00:11:10,290 Not sure what this is, but... 293 00:11:10,292 --> 00:11:11,424 I am in. 294 00:11:11,426 --> 00:11:14,361 Step aside, sister. 295 00:11:14,363 --> 00:11:17,430 [OLD-FASHIONED VOICE] ♪ Well, it's a big old trolley ♪ 296 00:11:17,432 --> 00:11:19,330 ♪ Coming around the bend ♪ 297 00:11:19,332 --> 00:11:21,500 And feast your peepers on something you never had... 298 00:11:21,502 --> 00:11:22,936 talent! 299 00:11:22,938 --> 00:11:24,104 [CACKLES] 300 00:11:24,106 --> 00:11:26,306 Faster. [CACKLING] 301 00:11:26,308 --> 00:11:29,008 - BOTH: Ha ha! Yes. - [LAUGHTER] 302 00:11:29,010 --> 00:11:30,877 Oh, who we got up next? 303 00:11:30,879 --> 00:11:32,145 [CHUCKLES] I drew this. 304 00:11:32,147 --> 00:11:36,084 It's, uh, Catty Holmes from "Pawson's Creek". 305 00:11:37,452 --> 00:11:38,985 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] 306 00:11:38,987 --> 00:11:42,155 Oh, wow. Dave, we love it. 307 00:11:42,157 --> 00:11:43,957 Yeah? Really? 308 00:11:43,959 --> 00:11:45,992 This is original art. It's really good. 309 00:11:45,994 --> 00:11:47,193 We're gonna frame it 310 00:11:47,195 --> 00:11:48,995 and give it directly to the orphans 311 00:11:48,997 --> 00:11:50,964 and bring a little joy into their lives. 312 00:11:50,966 --> 00:11:52,332 Really? 313 00:11:52,334 --> 00:11:54,968 BOTH: Hell, no! Boom! 314 00:11:54,970 --> 00:11:57,070 [ALL LAUGHING] 315 00:11:57,072 --> 00:11:59,939 And that is our time, all right? 316 00:11:59,941 --> 00:12:01,677 So feel free to join us tomorrow 317 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,043 at the rummage sale 318 00:12:03,045 --> 00:12:05,145 and come and witness the chump change 319 00:12:05,147 --> 00:12:08,248 that your crappy-ass donations will surely bring in. 320 00:12:08,250 --> 00:12:09,282 - Yeah. - [LAUGHTER] 321 00:12:09,284 --> 00:12:10,318 Ooh, ooh. 322 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,986 And stick around for our first-ever live auction, 323 00:12:12,988 --> 00:12:15,221 where you'll get the opportunity to make a bid 324 00:12:15,223 --> 00:12:17,390 on the greatest donation of all time. 325 00:12:17,392 --> 00:12:18,958 You know what it is? 326 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:22,062 ALL: This TV right here! 327 00:12:22,064 --> 00:12:24,966 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 328 00:12:27,874 --> 00:12:29,074 Yeah... 329 00:12:29,076 --> 00:12:30,276 No, no, no! No. 330 00:12:30,278 --> 00:12:33,373 Oh, I-I got it. I-I want to carry it myself. 331 00:12:33,375 --> 00:12:36,009 Uh, for the children. 332 00:12:36,011 --> 00:12:38,945 Okay. 333 00:12:38,947 --> 00:12:41,047 [GROANING] Legs! 334 00:12:41,049 --> 00:12:43,950 [TOM WAITS' "TELEPHONE CALL FROM ISTANBUL"] 335 00:12:43,952 --> 00:12:47,952 ♪♪ 336 00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:55,317 ♪ I was all night long on the broken glass ♪ 337 00:12:55,319 --> 00:12:57,996 ♪ Living in a medicine chest ♪ 338 00:12:57,998 --> 00:13:00,500 ♪ Mediteromanian hotel back ♪ 339 00:13:00,502 --> 00:13:03,169 ♪ Sprawled across a roll-top desk ♪ 340 00:13:03,171 --> 00:13:05,157 ♪ My pet old monkey rode a blade ♪ 341 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,173 ♪ On an overhead fan ♪ 342 00:13:07,175 --> 00:13:09,409 ♪ They paint the donkey blue if you pay ♪ 343 00:13:09,411 --> 00:13:12,545 ♪ I got a telephone call from Istanbul ♪ 344 00:13:12,547 --> 00:13:15,181 ♪ My baby's coming home today ♪ 345 00:13:15,183 --> 00:13:17,350 ♪ Will you sell me one of those ♪ 346 00:13:17,352 --> 00:13:18,451 ♪ If I shave my head? ♪ 347 00:13:18,453 --> 00:13:21,454 ♪ "Get me out of town" is what Fireball said ♪ 348 00:13:21,456 --> 00:13:24,457 ♪ Never trust a man in a blue trench coat ♪ 349 00:13:24,459 --> 00:13:26,426 ♪ Never drive a car when you're dead ♪ 350 00:13:26,428 --> 00:13:28,395 [CACKLING] 351 00:13:28,397 --> 00:13:31,398 ♪ Saturday's a festival, oh, now Saturday's a gem ♪ 352 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,466 [BOTH CACKLING] 353 00:13:33,468 --> 00:13:36,336 ♪ Follow me to Beulah's on Dry Creek Road ♪ 354 00:13:36,338 --> 00:13:39,339 ♪ I got to wear the hat that my baby done sewed ♪ 355 00:13:39,341 --> 00:13:42,042 ♪♪ 356 00:13:42,044 --> 00:13:43,778 - [SCHOOL BELL RINGING] - Good morning, Whitlock. 357 00:13:43,780 --> 00:13:45,478 In honor of Katie Holmes Day, 358 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,448 I am going to climb in through this window, 359 00:13:48,450 --> 00:13:51,351 just like Katie did on "Dawson's Creek". 360 00:13:51,353 --> 00:13:55,088 So... here we go. 361 00:13:55,090 --> 00:13:58,558 Okay. Oh. 362 00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:00,593 [GRUNTS] 363 00:14:00,595 --> 00:14:03,563 Okay. Ah. 364 00:14:03,565 --> 00:14:06,232 Ow, my keys! Oh, God. 365 00:14:06,234 --> 00:14:08,234 Okay. Okay. 366 00:14:08,236 --> 00:14:10,537 [GRUNTING] 367 00:14:10,539 --> 00:14:14,107 Oh, my God. [GRUNTS] 368 00:14:14,109 --> 00:14:17,143 Well, I come bearing bad news. 369 00:14:17,145 --> 00:14:20,346 The school's Buick float for the Katie Day parade 370 00:14:20,348 --> 00:14:22,515 has been stolen. 371 00:14:22,517 --> 00:14:25,552 So, instead, I ask all of you 372 00:14:25,554 --> 00:14:28,799 to walk in the parade arm in arm. 373 00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:32,604 Let's make tonight the best Katie Holmes Day pageant ever! 374 00:14:33,738 --> 00:14:35,873 Well, looks like someone unwittingly made 375 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,497 the holiday even more heartwarming. 376 00:14:37,499 --> 00:14:40,100 Oh, don't worry. There's so much more coming. 377 00:14:40,102 --> 00:14:42,630 Last night my shoes were stolen from my porch. 378 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:46,373 And lo, not two, but three muffins. 379 00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:47,441 No, no. 380 00:14:47,443 --> 00:14:50,176 No, you said that you put the wishes in the shoes, 381 00:14:50,178 --> 00:14:52,412 and then Katie turns the wishes into muffins. 382 00:14:52,414 --> 00:14:54,547 Ergo, no shoes, no muffins. 383 00:14:54,549 --> 00:14:55,893 [DISTANTLY] ♪ See the Katie ♪ 384 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,584 ♪ Hear her sing ♪ 385 00:14:57,586 --> 00:14:59,319 - ♪ And every musical ♪ - Yo. 386 00:14:59,321 --> 00:15:01,254 The jug band's singing a capella. 387 00:15:01,256 --> 00:15:03,289 They sound smooth as hell. 388 00:15:03,291 --> 00:15:06,359 Jug, you know that new sound you've been looking for? 389 00:15:06,361 --> 00:15:08,328 Well, listen to this. 390 00:15:08,330 --> 00:15:10,096 Another miracle. 391 00:15:10,098 --> 00:15:13,566 Mr. Griffin, may we go bask in their newfound glory? 392 00:15:13,568 --> 00:15:16,703 Feel free to leave my class at any time for any reason. 393 00:15:16,705 --> 00:15:20,705 ♪♪ 394 00:15:22,644 --> 00:15:25,478 We took everything, and the day came. 395 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,415 It came just the same. 396 00:15:28,417 --> 00:15:31,184 I'm gonna have to play WB assistant 397 00:15:31,186 --> 00:15:33,522 and say that stupid line the rest of my life. 398 00:15:35,323 --> 00:15:37,157 What exactly is your line? 399 00:15:37,159 --> 00:15:39,061 "Mr. Williamson will see you now". 400 00:15:41,329 --> 00:15:45,231 So, if Katie doesn't meet with Mr. Williamson, 401 00:15:45,233 --> 00:15:48,268 then her dreams don't come true, and... 402 00:15:48,270 --> 00:15:50,203 if her dreams don't come true... 403 00:15:50,205 --> 00:15:53,406 Then there's no Katie Holmes Day. 404 00:15:53,408 --> 00:15:55,742 [LAUGHING WICKEDLY] 405 00:15:55,744 --> 00:15:58,246 Yeah. 406 00:16:00,148 --> 00:16:02,348 Well, hey, now. We all know why we're here. 407 00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:06,352 Please give it up for Michelle Patricia Jones 408 00:16:06,354 --> 00:16:08,588 and her donation of... 409 00:16:08,590 --> 00:16:11,291 ALL: This TV right here! 410 00:16:11,293 --> 00:16:14,461 [ALL CHEERING] 411 00:16:14,463 --> 00:16:15,827 [SIGHS] I'm dead. 412 00:16:15,829 --> 00:16:17,630 I'm dead. I'm dead. 413 00:16:17,632 --> 00:16:20,500 We will start the bidding at $500. 414 00:16:20,502 --> 00:16:22,602 Ooh, okay. We have $500. 415 00:16:22,604 --> 00:16:25,472 Now do I see a $550? 416 00:16:25,474 --> 00:16:27,776 $550 from Where's Waldo over there. 417 00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:30,443 And, Waldo, hey. I see you, okay? 418 00:16:30,445 --> 00:16:32,612 $550 going once. 419 00:16:32,614 --> 00:16:35,248 Going twice... 420 00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:36,783 $600! 421 00:16:36,785 --> 00:16:39,552 Okay... ladies and gentlemen, I do not believe this. 422 00:16:39,554 --> 00:16:43,335 But this queen right here is bidding on her own donation! 423 00:16:43,337 --> 00:16:45,085 $700! 424 00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,754 $750! 425 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:48,395 $1,000! 426 00:16:48,397 --> 00:16:50,764 [CROWD MURMURING] 427 00:16:50,766 --> 00:16:53,433 $1,000 of my own money. 428 00:16:53,435 --> 00:16:54,667 BOTH: Sold! 429 00:16:54,669 --> 00:16:56,536 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 430 00:16:56,538 --> 00:16:59,541 Yeah, yeah, yeah. [MUTTERING ANGRILY] 431 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,515 [DOORBELL RINGS] 432 00:17:08,517 --> 00:17:10,926 A blessed day. 433 00:17:10,928 --> 00:17:13,030 I just bought this holiday classic 434 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,487 at the rummage sale. 435 00:17:14,489 --> 00:17:15,908 And much to my surprise, 436 00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:19,325 the tape inside... it's an old home video. 437 00:17:19,327 --> 00:17:21,227 Might you have the movie 438 00:17:21,229 --> 00:17:23,761 I so graciously purchased for $1.50? 439 00:17:23,763 --> 00:17:24,764 Nope. 440 00:17:24,766 --> 00:17:27,149 Now, if you could so graciously get out of my way, 441 00:17:27,151 --> 00:17:29,270 - I've got a pageant to destroy. - Wait a minute. 442 00:17:29,272 --> 00:17:31,799 That's no way to speak to a fellow Toledoan 443 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,506 on Katie Holmes Day. 444 00:17:33,508 --> 00:17:36,342 Okay, you big baby man. You want your money? 445 00:17:36,344 --> 00:17:37,744 There's your money. 446 00:17:37,746 --> 00:17:39,713 I don't want money. 447 00:17:39,715 --> 00:17:41,863 I want "Pieces of April". 448 00:17:41,865 --> 00:17:43,065 [LAUGHS] 449 00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:44,467 I don't know what to tell you, man. 450 00:17:49,691 --> 00:17:52,325 _ 451 00:17:52,327 --> 00:17:54,561 Hey, how'd you know where I... 452 00:17:54,563 --> 00:17:56,665 live? 453 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,602 [GRUNTS] 454 00:18:06,241 --> 00:18:07,674 Hi, Jacky. 455 00:18:07,676 --> 00:18:09,542 I just wanted to wish you good luck 456 00:18:09,544 --> 00:18:11,179 at the science fair tomorrow. 457 00:18:11,181 --> 00:18:14,481 And I am so sorry that I'm going to missing it. 458 00:18:14,483 --> 00:18:17,617 I want you to know that you are a brilliant, talented, 459 00:18:17,619 --> 00:18:19,519 beautiful boy. 460 00:18:19,521 --> 00:18:22,489 And I have no doubt that you're going to do great. 461 00:18:22,491 --> 00:18:23,790 And you'll definitely beat 462 00:18:23,792 --> 00:18:25,934 that bullying mouth-breather Greg Miller. 463 00:18:25,936 --> 00:18:28,695 I mean, he's probably gonna present another potato clock. 464 00:18:28,697 --> 00:18:30,530 [LAUGHING] He did. 465 00:18:30,532 --> 00:18:32,732 I'm so proud of you. 466 00:18:32,734 --> 00:18:34,434 I love you, Jacky. 467 00:18:34,436 --> 00:18:37,437 [SOMBER MUSIC] 468 00:18:37,439 --> 00:18:41,439 ♪♪ 469 00:18:42,511 --> 00:18:45,478 I'll be damned. 470 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,515 You gave me five more minutes with my mom. 471 00:18:48,517 --> 00:18:50,917 [UPLIFTING MUSIC] 472 00:18:50,919 --> 00:18:53,520 It's all real. 473 00:18:53,522 --> 00:18:55,722 ♪♪ 474 00:18:55,724 --> 00:18:57,826 I got to save Katie Holmes Day. 475 00:19:02,321 --> 00:19:04,989 [LIGHT MUSIC] 476 00:19:04,991 --> 00:19:07,493 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 477 00:19:07,495 --> 00:19:10,262 ♪♪ 478 00:19:11,473 --> 00:19:13,540 So that was Katie's bedroom right up there. 479 00:19:13,542 --> 00:19:15,709 - Up there? - Yeah. 480 00:19:15,711 --> 00:19:16,843 Hey, yo, yo, yo. Here they come. 481 00:19:16,845 --> 00:19:18,030 - [DOOR CLOSES] - Here they come. 482 00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,979 Please stop. 483 00:19:19,981 --> 00:19:22,782 The Holmes family no longer lives here. 484 00:19:22,784 --> 00:19:25,518 We are the Goodmans. 485 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,522 ALL: If we knew this would happen, 486 00:19:27,524 --> 00:19:31,624 we never would have bought this house. 487 00:19:31,626 --> 00:19:34,928 Seriously, stop! 488 00:19:34,930 --> 00:19:38,732 Please don't put us through this again. 489 00:19:38,734 --> 00:19:41,701 My condition has worsened. 490 00:19:41,703 --> 00:19:44,738 Please, go away! 491 00:19:44,740 --> 00:19:47,907 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 492 00:19:47,909 --> 00:19:51,611 ♪♪ 493 00:19:51,613 --> 00:19:53,713 [BRAKES SQUEAL] 494 00:19:53,715 --> 00:19:55,317 All right. Coming through, everybody. 495 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,616 [LAUGHS] 496 00:19:56,618 --> 00:19:59,552 Happy Katie Holmes Day. Yeah. 497 00:19:59,554 --> 00:20:02,522 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 498 00:20:02,524 --> 00:20:06,826 ♪♪ 499 00:20:06,828 --> 00:20:08,995 [LAUGHING, SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 500 00:20:08,997 --> 00:20:10,930 ♪♪ 501 00:20:10,932 --> 00:20:15,370 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 502 00:20:16,972 --> 00:20:19,906 Okay, this is it. You got this. 503 00:20:19,908 --> 00:20:22,776 There's no Durbin. It's only Kevin. 504 00:20:22,778 --> 00:20:24,924 Hi, I'm Katie Holmes. 505 00:20:24,926 --> 00:20:27,647 I'm here to meet with Mr. Williamson. 506 00:20:27,649 --> 00:20:29,818 Mr. Williamson will... 507 00:20:32,554 --> 00:20:34,988 Not see you right now. He's out. 508 00:20:34,990 --> 00:20:36,691 [CROWD GASPING, EXCLAIMING] 509 00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,126 All right, coming through, coming through. 510 00:20:38,128 --> 00:20:40,060 All right, here we go. Coming through, guys. 511 00:20:40,062 --> 00:20:41,127 - Watch it. - Okay, coming through. 512 00:20:41,129 --> 00:20:42,595 But we have a meeting. 513 00:20:42,597 --> 00:20:44,664 Mm, he's at lunch. Go back home. 514 00:20:44,666 --> 00:20:46,666 But I think I can see him. 515 00:20:46,668 --> 00:20:47,967 Oh, ring, ring. 516 00:20:47,969 --> 00:20:50,837 Hello. Mm. 517 00:20:50,839 --> 00:20:52,706 - Actually I just found out. - Uh... 518 00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:54,251 Kevin Williamson's dead. 519 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,709 [CROWD GASPS, EXCLAIMS] 520 00:20:55,711 --> 00:20:57,844 "Dawson's Creek" is canceled. 521 00:20:57,846 --> 00:20:59,079 Bah-bye. 522 00:20:59,081 --> 00:21:01,047 - Marissa, why? - Don't do this! 523 00:21:01,049 --> 00:21:02,949 Let her meet him! 524 00:21:02,951 --> 00:21:05,685 [GRUNTS] Hello, everybody. 525 00:21:05,687 --> 00:21:08,588 Yeah... no, I'm, um... 526 00:21:08,590 --> 00:21:10,490 I'm Mr. Williamson's doctor. 527 00:21:10,492 --> 00:21:12,243 And he's very much alive. 528 00:21:12,245 --> 00:21:15,095 And, yeah, he's ready to meet Katie. 529 00:21:15,097 --> 00:21:17,597 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 530 00:21:17,599 --> 00:21:19,699 Ring, ring. Oh. 531 00:21:19,701 --> 00:21:22,780 Just found out. I'm the boss of Hollywood now. 532 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:26,706 And my first act as queen is to banish Katie Holmes. 533 00:21:26,708 --> 00:21:29,075 Please reconsider, Your Highness! 534 00:21:29,077 --> 00:21:32,712 So, look, I've been trying to ruin Katie Holmes Day. 535 00:21:32,714 --> 00:21:34,581 [CROWD MURMURING] 536 00:21:34,583 --> 00:21:36,583 I ran around all of last night 537 00:21:36,585 --> 00:21:39,018 stealing children's shoes. 538 00:21:39,020 --> 00:21:41,021 Wow, it sounds insane when I say it out loud. 539 00:21:41,023 --> 00:21:42,956 Uh, but worst of all, 540 00:21:42,958 --> 00:21:46,786 I convinced this sweet, young girl here to st... 541 00:21:46,788 --> 00:21:48,028 No, not you. 542 00:21:48,030 --> 00:21:50,830 I don't why she's... I don't... I don't even know you. 543 00:21:50,832 --> 00:21:53,143 Yeah... no, I-I convinced Marissa here 544 00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:55,568 to stop believing in her dreams. 545 00:21:55,570 --> 00:21:58,872 Then I experienced the magic of Katie Holmes Day myself. 546 00:21:58,874 --> 00:22:01,007 You know, I had a dream, and my dream came true. 547 00:22:01,009 --> 00:22:02,699 And... and sure, you know. 548 00:22:02,701 --> 00:22:05,470 Big dreams can be a bit of a mirage, you know? 549 00:22:05,472 --> 00:22:07,747 Often planted in our capitalist minds 550 00:22:07,749 --> 00:22:10,116 - by greedy corporations who... - You're losing us! 551 00:22:10,118 --> 00:22:12,585 Bottom line, um, 552 00:22:12,587 --> 00:22:15,165 Marissa's dream has always been to play Katie Holmes. 553 00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,057 And you think it would be all right 554 00:22:17,059 --> 00:22:19,859 if Marissa said the final line? 555 00:22:19,861 --> 00:22:21,094 Oh, that's great. 556 00:22:21,096 --> 00:22:23,063 Okay, here we go. 557 00:22:23,065 --> 00:22:27,502 Uh, Mr. Williamson, your 3:00 is here. 558 00:22:31,573 --> 00:22:33,039 [CLEARS THROAT] 559 00:22:33,041 --> 00:22:36,810 Katie, you are Joey Potter. Welcome to "Dawson's Creek". 560 00:22:36,812 --> 00:22:39,679 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 561 00:22:39,681 --> 00:22:41,648 He did it. 562 00:22:41,650 --> 00:22:43,485 The sweet son of a bitch did it. 563 00:22:43,487 --> 00:22:46,099 Mr. Williamson, I have something to tell you. 564 00:22:46,101 --> 00:22:49,604 ♪♪ 565 00:22:49,606 --> 00:22:51,473 When the camera is rolling, 566 00:22:51,475 --> 00:22:54,027 I'll be this Joey Potter. 567 00:22:54,029 --> 00:22:56,062 But when you say "cut", 568 00:22:56,064 --> 00:22:59,666 I will return to and always be 569 00:22:59,668 --> 00:23:02,969 Toledo's very own Katie Holmes. 570 00:23:02,971 --> 00:23:05,638 - ♪ I don't want to wait ♪ - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 571 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,007 ♪ For our lives to be over ♪ 572 00:23:08,009 --> 00:23:10,143 ♪ I want to know right now ♪ 573 00:23:10,145 --> 00:23:13,813 Hey, everyone look! It's 8:47! 574 00:23:13,815 --> 00:23:15,849 ♪ I don't want to wait ♪ 575 00:23:15,851 --> 00:23:18,818 ♪ For our lives to be over ♪ 576 00:23:18,820 --> 00:23:20,020 Mwah! 577 00:23:20,022 --> 00:23:21,921 Aww. 578 00:23:21,923 --> 00:23:23,623 Oh. 579 00:23:23,625 --> 00:23:25,692 - Hey. - [BOTH LAUGHING] 580 00:23:25,694 --> 00:23:27,694 [VOCALIZING] 581 00:23:27,696 --> 00:23:29,095 Oh. 582 00:23:29,097 --> 00:23:32,699 ♪♪ 583 00:23:32,701 --> 00:23:34,234 Oh! 584 00:23:34,236 --> 00:23:38,638 Mom, this year can you kiss my forehead? 585 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:40,106 Eat your beans. 586 00:23:40,108 --> 00:23:41,708 ♪ On the rainy front step ♪ 587 00:23:41,710 --> 00:23:43,777 ♪ Wearing shrapnel in his skin ♪ 588 00:23:43,779 --> 00:23:45,678 I hoped you'd come around to it. 589 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,881 But I didn't think you'd make it a whole holiday special. 590 00:23:48,883 --> 00:23:49,949 - Just... - [LAUGHS] 591 00:23:49,951 --> 00:23:51,552 ♪ Lives inside him still ♪ 592 00:23:51,554 --> 00:23:56,558 ♪ It's so hard to be gentle and warm ♪ 593 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,310 ♪ The years passed by ♪ 594 00:23:58,312 --> 00:24:02,262 ♪ And now he has granddaughters ♪ 595 00:24:02,264 --> 00:24:05,131 ♪♪ 596 00:24:05,133 --> 00:24:08,868 ♪ I don't want to wait for our lives... ♪ 597 00:24:08,870 --> 00:24:10,415 Katie continued, 598 00:24:10,417 --> 00:24:14,220 "When you say 'cut', I will return to and always be 599 00:24:14,222 --> 00:24:17,259 Toledo's very own Katie Holmes". 600 00:24:21,049 --> 00:24:24,284 "Granted, I won't always be playing Joey Potter. 601 00:24:24,286 --> 00:24:26,197 So, when I'm doing another character, 602 00:24:26,199 --> 00:24:28,567 the same rule applies. 603 00:24:28,569 --> 00:24:31,024 When the camera's rolling, I am that character. 604 00:24:31,026 --> 00:24:32,892 But when they yell 'cut', 605 00:24:32,894 --> 00:24:36,229 I'm Katie Holmes from Toledo, Ohio!" 606 00:24:36,231 --> 00:24:38,732 [BOOK CLOSES] 607 00:24:38,734 --> 00:24:40,934 Okay, orphans. Off to bed. 608 00:24:40,936 --> 00:24:43,608 And tomorrow we'll be enjoying a feast of muffins, 609 00:24:43,610 --> 00:24:45,357 thanks to a large amount of money 610 00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:47,107 Whitlock High School raised for us. 611 00:24:47,109 --> 00:24:49,909 ALL: Yay! 612 00:24:49,911 --> 00:24:52,912 [UPBEAT HOLIDAY MUSIC] 613 00:24:52,914 --> 00:24:56,914 ♪♪ 614 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:11,320 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 43079

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.