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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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00:00:07,547 --> 00:00:09,548
I don't want to hear it.
3
00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:12,416
Cinderella doesn't have
to put up with this shit.
4
00:00:12,418 --> 00:00:14,803
I have given you enough chances.
5
00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:16,692
Do you know how many
times I've heard you say,
6
00:00:16,694 --> 00:00:20,662
"I'll change; I swear I'll change"?
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But you don't change.
8
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I got bit,
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and I don't know which
one of you did it,
10
00:00:26,396 --> 00:00:29,367
'cause you all look alike,
but it's time to go.
11
00:00:29,369 --> 00:00:30,502
Please leave.
12
00:00:30,504 --> 00:00:34,339
[RATS CHITTERING]
13
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Over your dead bodies, huh?
14
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- We will see about that.
- One, two, three, four!
15
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♪ Next time, I'll listen to my heart ♪
16
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♪ Next time, well, I'll be smart ♪
17
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♪♪
18
00:00:53,627 --> 00:00:56,161
Mr. Griffin, what are
you doing here so early?
19
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And why are you wearing a tie?
20
00:00:58,465 --> 00:01:00,165
Did someone die?
21
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As a matter of fact, yes, Anthony,
22
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Professor Bruce J. Vogel
23
00:01:04,171 --> 00:01:06,471
of the University of Wisconsin
philosophy department.
24
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And the University of Wisconsin
needs to replace him,
25
00:01:08,709 --> 00:01:10,986
so I'm polishing up a lecture
on transcendentalism
26
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that I'm going to record and submit.
27
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Wisconsin can be,
like, my rebound school.
28
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I thought we were your rebound school.
29
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,121
No, Grace. Whitlock is, like...
30
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like, my drunken back alley hookup.
31
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Winter break is coming up
just in time, Mr. Griffin,
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a little respite from the doldrums?
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Do not engage me in small talk.
34
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You'll never guess what Captain Nasty
35
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is doing for winter break.
36
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I'm just staying home.
37
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Me. I'm Captain Nasty.
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Everyone please call me that.
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Mr. Griffin, U.W. Madison
is eight hours away.
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If you move, will you miss us?
41
00:01:45,612 --> 00:01:48,982
And also, what will happen
with you and the lovely Lynette?
42
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I'm not worried about
that. We'll be fine.
43
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I won't miss any of this.
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Yeah, no...
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If we're doing nicknames,
46
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I would like people to
begin calling me Chop Shop.
47
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[BELL RINGS]
48
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So he says, "Time for lunch".
49
00:02:05,365 --> 00:02:07,042
And I says, "How about Wendy's?"
50
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And he says, "I'd prefer Burger King".
51
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- Hi.
- So I says,
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"Why don't we go to Arby's so
no one gets what they want?"
53
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[LAUGHS]
54
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Hey, Ms. Hofstadter.
55
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Hey... laundry day?
56
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[LAUGHS]
57
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No, I'm actually recording
that lecture today.
58
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Figured I'd give them the
full Harvard shock and awe.
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Oh.
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Hey, it's not too late
for you to join me
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00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,556
on my Habitat for Humanity trip.
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I'd love to see you in
Daisy Dukes and a tool belt.
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You know, this is the third
time you've brought that up.
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Is this a real thing you need me to do?
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- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- _
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Mary, I renew my rejection of this whole
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00:02:48,542 --> 00:02:49,943
cabin in the woods business.
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I mean, I don't know how
many times I have to tell you.
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00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:54,175
I don't do full nature.
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Are you kidding? We are
gonna have so much fun.
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Three foxy mamas in the great outdoors.
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We're either gonna meet a Bigfoot,
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a Brawny paper towel
man, or a Leatherface.
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00:03:03,257 --> 00:03:04,623
And as you know,
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00:03:04,625 --> 00:03:06,691
two out of the three are my type.
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00:03:06,693 --> 00:03:08,186
I mean, it's sure
to beat Michelle's pick
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00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,363
of San Antonio from last year.
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I promised my dad I would
tour the Pace Picante factory
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before he died, so I did it,
and then he died right away,
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and now my mom sort of blames me for it,
81
00:03:18,538 --> 00:03:20,805
so yeah, Stef, really dull trip.
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00:03:20,807 --> 00:03:22,574
So just so I have this straight,
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you guys pick an unappealing
destination each year,
84
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,996
and then you just sit around all week?
85
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We talk. We make dinners.
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00:03:29,549 --> 00:03:31,716
- We play our own original games.
- Mm-hmm.
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00:03:31,718 --> 00:03:34,619
Oh, my God, and the games are
gonna be so good this year.
88
00:03:34,621 --> 00:03:36,908
We've got "Armpit, Knee
Pit, Toe Pit, Mouth",
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00:03:36,910 --> 00:03:39,092
"Roof or Scare", "Guess Whose Butt",
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00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:42,327
and "Try Not To Puke: Dog Food Edition".
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00:03:42,329 --> 00:03:43,862
- Woof.
- Arf.
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00:03:43,864 --> 00:03:45,730
Well, those games sound terrible.
93
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Only if you don't like dog food.
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Hey, what's with the tie, Jack?
95
00:03:49,469 --> 00:03:50,812
Are you covering up a soup stain?
96
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:53,872
Did you have soup for breakfast, Jack?
97
00:03:53,874 --> 00:03:58,343
No, I'm taping a lecture
on transcendentalism
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00:03:58,345 --> 00:04:00,478
as described by Henry David Thoreau.
99
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,074
Well, I'm more interested
in Justin Theroux,
100
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,616
speaking of Brawny paper towel men.
101
00:04:04,618 --> 00:04:05,619
Hey, gang.
102
00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:07,647
You want to know what I'll
be up to over winter break,
103
00:04:07,649 --> 00:04:09,721
you'll have to get "inline".
104
00:04:09,723 --> 00:04:10,822
[ALL GROANING]
105
00:04:10,824 --> 00:04:13,458
'Cause my skates.
106
00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:14,893
[BELL RINGS]
107
00:04:14,895 --> 00:04:17,172
But do it quick like you're
ripping off a Band-Aid,
108
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,331
unless the Band-Aid is the only thing
109
00:04:19,333 --> 00:04:20,599
holding on a chunk of your finger.
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00:04:20,601 --> 00:04:21,633
Oh, yeah, Ralph.
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00:04:21,635 --> 00:04:23,401
- Oh, oh, hey...
- Oh, hey, Jack.
112
00:04:23,403 --> 00:04:27,572
Jack, do you tell your
siblings that you love them?
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00:04:27,574 --> 00:04:29,441
Um, I don't have any siblings,
114
00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:31,376
but I like to think that if I did,
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00:04:31,378 --> 00:04:33,445
I, uh... I would not.
116
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:35,380
- Oh.
- Well, I do.
117
00:04:35,382 --> 00:04:37,449
I have a brother, Dennis Durbin,
118
00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:40,086
and this is the week
that I finally tell him
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00:04:40,088 --> 00:04:41,154
that I love him.
120
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,321
- Wow, hey, big step.
- Right?
121
00:04:43,323 --> 00:04:45,457
I'm gonna hold him down, and
I'm gonna yell in his face,
122
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,392
"Bro, I love you.
123
00:04:47,394 --> 00:04:48,426
Deal with it".
124
00:04:48,428 --> 00:04:49,461
- You can do it.
- [EXHALES]
125
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:51,463
Okay, hey, great plan.
126
00:04:51,465 --> 00:04:52,931
So the reason I'm here is, uh...
127
00:04:52,933 --> 00:04:54,599
- What's my break like?
- No.
128
00:04:54,601 --> 00:04:56,534
Oh, well, every year around this time,
129
00:04:56,536 --> 00:04:57,802
I meet up with an old friend.
130
00:04:57,804 --> 00:04:59,130
You want to know the backstory?
131
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,805
No, I don't, but thank you for asking.
132
00:05:00,807 --> 00:05:02,967
Would you change your mind if I told you
133
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:06,611
that she's been accused
of eating eight people?
134
00:05:06,613 --> 00:05:10,225
Oh, yes, obviously. Eight people.
135
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,950
Yeah, no, go, go, go,
go, go. What happened?
136
00:05:11,952 --> 00:05:14,729
15, 20 years ago I spent my last pesos
137
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,689
getting from Cancun to Isla Mujeres,
138
00:05:17,691 --> 00:05:22,427
which I misunderstood to be
some magical lesbian paradise,
139
00:05:22,429 --> 00:05:24,362
you know, where it's only accessible
140
00:05:24,364 --> 00:05:26,598
to horny young ladies
with the purest of hearts.
141
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,967
But it turns out it
was just a resort town.
142
00:05:28,969 --> 00:05:32,914
Anyhow, I got a job
feeding chum to sharks
143
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,473
at the local shark sanctuary.
144
00:05:35,475 --> 00:05:37,842
- So one day in the sanctuary...
- This part.
145
00:05:37,844 --> 00:05:39,711
I was a little late on feeding time,
146
00:05:39,713 --> 00:05:42,547
and one of these babies,
oh, she got hangry.
147
00:05:42,549 --> 00:05:45,650
And she tried to chomp my me-meat.
148
00:05:45,652 --> 00:05:47,853
- Yikes.
- Now, if I would have followed
149
00:05:47,855 --> 00:05:49,337
Mexican fish laws,
150
00:05:49,339 --> 00:05:50,887
I would have had to have her put down,
151
00:05:50,889 --> 00:05:53,529
but I refused to testify
much to the chagrin of...
152
00:05:53,531 --> 00:05:55,291
[INDISTINCT]
153
00:05:55,293 --> 00:05:57,043
And then that toothy gal,
154
00:05:57,045 --> 00:05:58,940
she thanked me with a little bow,
155
00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:01,399
so every year now I fly down there,
156
00:06:01,401 --> 00:06:02,767
and we boop noses,
157
00:06:02,769 --> 00:06:04,603
and I feed her a bucket of chum.
158
00:06:04,605 --> 00:06:07,439
It's really sweet.
159
00:06:07,441 --> 00:06:09,841
You tricked me, Helen.
160
00:06:09,843 --> 00:06:12,544
Ralph, I came to ask
you if I could borrow
161
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,163
the AV equipment that's in your office
162
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,874
to make a quick video
after school tonight.
163
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,792
To record your side
of our "Amazing Race"
164
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,484
submission video?
165
00:06:19,486 --> 00:06:20,954
Uh, still no on that, bud.
166
00:06:20,956 --> 00:06:22,621
Yeah, it's hard for me
to tell where to come in
167
00:06:22,623 --> 00:06:23,788
on some of those raps.
168
00:06:23,790 --> 00:06:25,216
They're... they're a little advanced.
169
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,660
They're all yours, just
lock up afterward, because...
170
00:06:28,662 --> 00:06:30,895
♪ School's out ♪
171
00:06:30,897 --> 00:06:32,640
♪ For one week ♪
172
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:35,900
[LAUGHTER]
173
00:06:35,902 --> 00:06:37,636
- [BELL RINGS]
- Whoo!
174
00:06:37,638 --> 00:06:38,870
Have a nice break.
175
00:06:38,872 --> 00:06:40,772
You too. Bye.
176
00:06:40,774 --> 00:06:42,908
Whoo-whee.
177
00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:44,780
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
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00:06:46,513 --> 00:06:49,614
Okay.
179
00:06:49,616 --> 00:06:51,583
[UPBEAT QUIRKY MUSIC]
180
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,652
To achieve its perfect form,
181
00:06:53,654 --> 00:06:56,414
a caterpillar must withdraw
and complete itself alone
182
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,056
in its cocoon.
183
00:06:58,058 --> 00:07:01,878
Likewise, for us to
achieve spiritual perfection
184
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,561
in the view of transcendentalists
185
00:07:03,563 --> 00:07:05,075
like Henry David Thoreau,
186
00:07:05,077 --> 00:07:08,066
it is necessary to
retreat from the mindless
187
00:07:08,068 --> 00:07:11,069
and negative influences of society.
188
00:07:11,071 --> 00:07:13,638
Which is why Walden
concludes with the idea
189
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:15,941
of that selfsame butterfly,
190
00:07:15,943 --> 00:07:18,076
whose beauty is a call to action
191
00:07:18,078 --> 00:07:21,713
for all to seek enlightenment
along the path set forth
192
00:07:21,715 --> 00:07:25,483
by Justin Theroux.
193
00:07:25,485 --> 00:07:27,953
Oh, Justin Theroux.
194
00:07:27,955 --> 00:07:30,088
Justin Theroux? Oh, God.
195
00:07:30,090 --> 00:07:34,559
Augh, I was right at the end.
196
00:07:34,561 --> 00:07:36,728
God, that's frustrating.
197
00:07:36,730 --> 00:07:38,730
To achieve its perfect form,
198
00:07:38,732 --> 00:07:40,565
a caterpillar must withdraw...
199
00:07:40,567 --> 00:07:43,635
Subscribed to the
Lockean image of the mind,
200
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:46,004
but Thoreau thought that
that interpretation...
201
00:07:46,006 --> 00:07:48,974
th... that interpre... th... that?
202
00:07:48,976 --> 00:07:50,218
[SCOFFS]
203
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,110
To that?
204
00:07:52,112 --> 00:07:55,113
Okay, yeah, no, Thoreau
thought that that...
205
00:07:55,115 --> 00:07:57,782
Thoreau thought that that... that...
206
00:07:57,784 --> 00:07:59,268
Thoreau thought that
that... that... that...
207
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,052
that... that... that... [CHUCKLES]
208
00:08:01,054 --> 00:08:03,955
Is that right?
209
00:08:03,957 --> 00:08:05,597
Oh, boy.
210
00:08:09,730 --> 00:08:11,896
- Here we go. Here we go!
- _
211
00:08:11,898 --> 00:08:14,132
To achieve its perfect form,
212
00:08:14,134 --> 00:08:17,804
a caterpillar must withdraw
and complete itself alone...
213
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:44,600
[VACUUM WHIRRING]
214
00:08:47,134 --> 00:08:50,168
The icy pond water awakened
215
00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:53,905
not just his body but...
216
00:08:53,907 --> 00:08:57,042
oh, why can't... why can't I do this?
217
00:08:57,044 --> 00:09:00,845
[STOMACH RUMBLING]
218
00:09:00,847 --> 00:09:03,648
Of course, low blood sugar.
219
00:09:03,650 --> 00:09:05,690
I need food.
220
00:09:08,789 --> 00:09:09,789
[SIGHS]
221
00:09:17,097 --> 00:09:20,131
[CLASSIC MUSIC]
222
00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:24,133
♪♪
223
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,118
To achieve its perfect form,
224
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:43,121
a butterfly... no, not a butterfly yet,
225
00:09:43,123 --> 00:09:45,657
caterpillar first.
226
00:09:45,659 --> 00:09:47,025
Thoreau thought that that... that...
227
00:09:47,027 --> 00:09:50,795
well, now, that... that
feels like too many.
228
00:09:50,797 --> 00:09:55,734
Thoreau thought that that...
229
00:09:55,736 --> 00:09:59,671
Thoreau thought that that...
230
00:09:59,673 --> 00:10:01,239
Thoreau thought that that...
231
00:10:01,241 --> 00:10:05,778
Thoreau thought that that... that... mm.
232
00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:06,814
Just say it normal,
233
00:10:06,816 --> 00:10:09,014
because it's a normal
thing to say, you know?
234
00:10:09,016 --> 00:10:11,249
I think that that is my jacket.
235
00:10:11,251 --> 00:10:14,019
We agreed that that is for Grandpa.
236
00:10:14,021 --> 00:10:18,907
No, I know that that is for Grandma.
237
00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:20,659
[CLEARS THROAT]
238
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:23,862
Thoreau thought that...
239
00:10:23,864 --> 00:10:28,833
that...
240
00:10:28,835 --> 00:10:30,452
That! That! That! That!
241
00:10:30,454 --> 00:10:32,088
That! That! That! That!
242
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:33,705
That! That! That! That!
243
00:10:33,707 --> 00:10:35,925
That! That! That! That! That! That!
244
00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:38,777
That! That! That! That! That! That!
245
00:10:38,779 --> 00:10:40,779
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
246
00:10:40,781 --> 00:10:42,814
[SIGHS]
247
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:45,784
[EERIE MUSIC]
248
00:10:45,786 --> 00:10:50,021
♪♪
249
00:10:50,023 --> 00:10:55,026
[GRUNTING]
250
00:10:55,028 --> 00:10:59,028
♪♪
251
00:11:03,904 --> 00:11:08,173
[GROANS]
252
00:11:08,175 --> 00:11:11,309
[GROANS]
253
00:11:11,311 --> 00:11:15,191
[HISSING NOISE]
254
00:11:21,221 --> 00:11:25,423
[HISSING NOISE]
255
00:11:25,425 --> 00:11:28,026
[EERIE MUSIC]
256
00:11:28,028 --> 00:11:32,028
♪♪
257
00:11:38,905 --> 00:11:43,942
Oh, what is that god-awful smell?
258
00:11:43,944 --> 00:11:47,944
♪♪
259
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:53,608
[COUGHS]
260
00:11:53,610 --> 00:11:56,955
Hello?
261
00:11:56,957 --> 00:12:01,498
♪♪
262
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:04,963
Are you in a caterpillar costume?
263
00:12:04,965 --> 00:12:06,364
Ahh!
264
00:12:06,366 --> 00:12:09,134
[TENSE MUSIC]
265
00:12:09,136 --> 00:12:11,003
Ahh! Ohh!
266
00:12:11,005 --> 00:12:13,171
- Get out of here.
- Ahh! Ahh!
267
00:12:13,173 --> 00:12:15,840
[GASPING]
268
00:12:15,842 --> 00:12:18,243
♪♪
269
00:12:18,245 --> 00:12:19,811
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
270
00:12:19,813 --> 00:12:23,381
That! That! That!
271
00:12:23,383 --> 00:12:26,952
[GROANS]
272
00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:28,853
Sleep on a filthy floor,
273
00:12:28,855 --> 00:12:32,791
you're gonna have some weird nightmares.
274
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,259
- Hi!
- Ahh!
275
00:12:34,261 --> 00:12:36,294
Jesus, Helen, what are you doing here?
276
00:12:36,296 --> 00:12:39,164
Oh, you know I can't stay
away from Whitlock long.
277
00:12:39,166 --> 00:12:41,933
I've got school spirit
buzzing deep in my guts,
278
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:43,636
like when I swallowed that fly.
279
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,203
Helen, I can't do this right now.
280
00:12:45,205 --> 00:12:47,139
The only way I could
catch it was to send out
281
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:50,108
a spider after it, but
oh, that bugger wiggled
282
00:12:50,110 --> 00:12:51,605
and jiggled and wriggled.
283
00:12:51,607 --> 00:12:55,307
So then I swallowed a bird to
catch the spider and that fly.
284
00:12:57,217 --> 00:12:58,950
[EXHALES]
285
00:12:58,952 --> 00:13:01,803
Basic cartoon logic after that.
286
00:13:01,805 --> 00:13:03,888
I swallowed a cat to catch the bird.
287
00:13:03,890 --> 00:13:05,857
Then I swallowed a dog to catch the cat.
288
00:13:05,859 --> 00:13:06,992
Then I was in a real pickle.
289
00:13:06,994 --> 00:13:09,634
I couldn't figure out what
was gonna catch the dog.
290
00:13:09,636 --> 00:13:12,570
But by then I had pretty serious angina.
291
00:13:12,572 --> 00:13:14,432
[CACKLING]
292
00:13:17,170 --> 00:13:20,140
Okay.
293
00:13:25,112 --> 00:13:26,705
To achieve its perfect form, the...
294
00:13:26,707 --> 00:13:28,947
Jack, you're here.
295
00:13:28,949 --> 00:13:30,808
We thought that that video
would be done by now.
296
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,084
Yeah, unfortunately, it's not.
297
00:13:33,086 --> 00:13:34,152
What happened with the cabin?
298
00:13:34,154 --> 00:13:35,354
You should play with us.
299
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:37,422
Want to be the first
guesser and "Dirty Durbs"?
300
00:13:37,424 --> 00:13:40,292
You guess which one
of us is Durbin peeing,
301
00:13:40,294 --> 00:13:43,094
pooping, or masturbating.
302
00:13:43,096 --> 00:13:44,607
[TOGETHER] Pee, poop, masturbate.
303
00:13:44,609 --> 00:13:48,233
Pee, poop, masturbate.
304
00:13:48,235 --> 00:13:50,035
Okay, well, that's definitely peeing.
305
00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:52,330
Wait, no, no, no, no.
306
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,332
I don't have time for
your dumb fun games.
307
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,342
I've got to do this video.
308
00:13:57,344 --> 00:13:59,878
Want to play "Hot Butt, Cold Butt"?
309
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,012
No, I...
310
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:03,181
[TOGETHER] Come play with us.
311
00:14:03,183 --> 00:14:06,184
[TENSE MUSIC]
312
00:14:06,186 --> 00:14:08,486
♪♪
313
00:14:08,488 --> 00:14:11,489
[EERIE MUSIC]
314
00:14:11,491 --> 00:14:15,491
♪♪
315
00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:40,211
BOTH: To achieve its perfect form,
316
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,419
a caterpillar must withdraw...
317
00:14:41,421 --> 00:14:44,489
Marcus, stop saying
everything along with me.
318
00:14:44,491 --> 00:14:48,495
♪♪
319
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,389
[IN MARCUS' VOICE] To
achieve its perfect form,
320
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,431
a caterpillar must...
321
00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:54,532
What the hell?
322
00:14:54,534 --> 00:14:56,501
Do I sound like Marcus right now?
323
00:14:56,503 --> 00:14:58,436
♪♪
324
00:14:58,438 --> 00:15:03,275
[GASPING]
325
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:05,243
Ahh!
326
00:15:05,245 --> 00:15:07,275
[WHIMPERING]
327
00:15:10,183 --> 00:15:15,053
Mm... augh.
328
00:15:17,991 --> 00:15:19,391
[GRUNTS]
329
00:15:19,393 --> 00:15:22,460
Ahh!
330
00:15:22,462 --> 00:15:27,265
Ahh!
331
00:15:27,267 --> 00:15:31,307
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!
332
00:15:49,957 --> 00:15:52,991
I want this job.
333
00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:55,460
I'm so overqualified.
334
00:15:55,462 --> 00:15:58,029
Jack, you're still here.
335
00:15:58,031 --> 00:15:59,966
Working on your video.
336
00:15:59,968 --> 00:16:02,467
Yeah, but everybody keeps stopping me.
337
00:16:02,469 --> 00:16:04,202
Let's get you back on the right track.
338
00:16:04,204 --> 00:16:05,270
What's the problem?
339
00:16:05,272 --> 00:16:07,372
I got sketty on my shirt.
340
00:16:07,374 --> 00:16:11,209
I've got what you need right here.
341
00:16:11,211 --> 00:16:15,480
Everything you need is always
right in front of you, Jack.
342
00:16:15,482 --> 00:16:18,250
Always check the lost and found.
343
00:16:18,252 --> 00:16:21,052
Which is why Walden
concludes with the idea
344
00:16:21,054 --> 00:16:22,621
of that selfsame butterfly,
345
00:16:22,623 --> 00:16:24,556
whose beauty is a call to action
346
00:16:24,558 --> 00:16:28,026
for all to seek enlightenment
along the path set forth
347
00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:29,561
by Henry David Thoreau.
348
00:16:29,563 --> 00:16:32,564
Thank you.
349
00:16:32,566 --> 00:16:34,633
That's enough screen
time for you, mister.
350
00:16:34,635 --> 00:16:36,067
Helen, Helen, no. What are you doing?
351
00:16:36,069 --> 00:16:37,369
Don't sabotage me.
352
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:41,041
[CACKLING]
353
00:16:44,181 --> 00:16:46,282
[LAUGHTER]
354
00:16:46,284 --> 00:16:47,345
Mom?
355
00:16:47,347 --> 00:16:50,649
Mm, Jackie.
356
00:16:50,651 --> 00:16:52,484
[LAUGHS]
357
00:16:52,486 --> 00:16:55,253
Hi, honey. Come in. Come in.
358
00:16:55,255 --> 00:16:56,621
Hey, Jack.
359
00:16:56,623 --> 00:16:57,757
Come on in, buddy.
360
00:16:57,759 --> 00:16:59,559
[LAUGHS]
361
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:09,534
[EERIE MUSIC]
362
00:17:09,536 --> 00:17:12,270
Hey, have you guys seen my iPad?
363
00:17:12,272 --> 00:17:13,672
[LAUGHS]
364
00:17:13,674 --> 00:17:19,277
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
365
00:17:19,279 --> 00:17:20,612
Yo, J.G.,
366
00:17:20,614 --> 00:17:24,082
you got a funny-looking spleen, man.
367
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,283
No offense.
368
00:17:25,285 --> 00:17:26,685
I think I found the heart.
369
00:17:26,687 --> 00:17:28,520
Girl, that's a bladder.
370
00:17:28,522 --> 00:17:30,522
How would we know?
371
00:17:30,524 --> 00:17:32,390
We never learned biology.
372
00:17:32,392 --> 00:17:35,160
I have to go.
373
00:17:35,162 --> 00:17:37,662
Why are you keeping me from leaving?
374
00:17:37,664 --> 00:17:40,565
Oh, we're not keeping you
from anything, Mr. Griffin.
375
00:17:40,567 --> 00:17:42,334
You're doing all of this.
376
00:17:42,336 --> 00:17:46,237
Your mind has created an
entire world of distractions
377
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:47,672
to keep you from doing that video.
378
00:17:47,674 --> 00:17:49,827
You know, it's almost like
you don't want to leave.
379
00:17:49,829 --> 00:17:52,677
Yes, I do.
380
00:17:52,679 --> 00:17:54,346
I think I do.
381
00:17:54,348 --> 00:17:57,549
Does anyone know where this goes?
382
00:17:57,551 --> 00:17:59,251
I'll make room for it.
383
00:17:59,253 --> 00:18:01,553
♪♪
384
00:18:01,555 --> 00:18:03,485
Ahh!
385
00:18:06,592 --> 00:18:09,094
[TOGETHER] Pee, poop, masturbate.
386
00:18:09,096 --> 00:18:10,663
Pee, poop, masturbate.
387
00:18:10,665 --> 00:18:12,398
- Come play with us.
- Ahh!
388
00:18:13,257 --> 00:18:17,369
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
389
00:18:17,371 --> 00:18:20,311
Ohh.
390
00:18:23,577 --> 00:18:26,344
[CLEARS THROAT]
391
00:18:26,346 --> 00:18:29,648
Oh, my God. It's Monday.
392
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:33,218
It's been a whole week.
393
00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:35,220
Oh, no.
394
00:18:35,222 --> 00:18:37,482
Oh, no.
395
00:18:45,556 --> 00:18:46,623
Ooh, Durbs, guess what.
396
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,626
We just added a new body part
397
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,428
to "Armpit, Knee Pit, Toe Pit, Mouth".
398
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,430
Oh, please, don't tell me at school.
399
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:53,675
Earhole.
400
00:18:53,677 --> 00:18:55,510
- [LAUGHTER]
- Thank God.
401
00:18:55,512 --> 00:18:57,468
- Yes.
- I had assumed exactly
402
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,803
that color, a three-piece.
403
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:00,605
- It was a swimsuit.
- Elegant.
404
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:03,508
Oh, I'm so glad to see you guys.
405
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,212
Oh, Helen, what happened?
406
00:19:05,214 --> 00:19:08,346
Well, I'm starting to think
that the relationship I have
407
00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:11,382
with that animal is not
what I thought it was.
408
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,484
- Hi, friend.
- Mmm.
409
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,686
How did it go?
410
00:19:14,688 --> 00:19:16,554
Did you tell your brother
that you loved him?
411
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:20,324
Uh, well, I kind of sort of choked
412
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,593
on saying that exact phrase, so...
413
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,862
That's okay, Ralph.
It's hard to be vulnerable.
414
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,564
Yeah, and you have to respect the fact
415
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:28,165
that he may not be there yet.
416
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,567
Yeah, I just feel kind of bad,
417
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,703
because a bunch of times
he said, "I love you",
418
00:19:31,705 --> 00:19:34,472
and I said, "Yeah, good,
good, good, good, good".
419
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:37,608
Oh, well, I'm sure
he knows how you feel.
420
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:41,346
Well, at one point he
said, "Do you love me?
421
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:42,613
Because I can't tell".
422
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,250
And I said, "I don't know",
423
00:19:44,252 --> 00:19:46,058
and I got into a Lyft
and went to the airport.
424
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,385
Just full choke.
425
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:48,653
Thank you.
426
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:53,358
You know who else choked
maybe the hardest of all?
427
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,492
[TOGETHER] Jack!
428
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:55,693
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Yay, you're back.
429
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:56,794
- Oh, my God.
- What's going on?
430
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,363
How are you, bud? We missed you.
431
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,765
I choked Rollerblading.
432
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,767
- Hello, Ms. Hofstadter.
- Hi.
433
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,170
Mwah! Hi.
434
00:20:04,172 --> 00:20:07,538
Hey, I got you this from
a Tennessee gas station
435
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,475
whose bathroom I ultimately
could not bring myself to use.
436
00:20:10,477 --> 00:20:13,335
"In dog beers, I've only had one".
437
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,645
[LAUGHS]
438
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,033
You were thinking about me.
439
00:20:16,035 --> 00:20:17,782
Yeah.
440
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:19,450
Um, hey, I have to talk
to you about something.
441
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:22,687
Yeah, in fact, I actually
have to tell all of you
442
00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:25,100
about something important that
I realized while you were gone.
443
00:20:25,102 --> 00:20:26,691
- I realized...
- Oh, hey.
444
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:28,459
What's your beef, brother?
445
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,361
Is this about Jodie?
446
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:31,629
Who's Jodie?
447
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,981
Uh, I... sorry, I
don't know what this is.
448
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:35,566
Why'd you pop me, man?
449
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,935
I was trying to fumigate the school,
and you friggin' popped me.
450
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:39,445
Wait, you were here?
451
00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:41,007
Yeah, Einstein.
452
00:20:41,009 --> 00:20:42,340
I was trying to get you out of here
453
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:44,210
before you breathed in that rodenticide.
454
00:20:44,212 --> 00:20:46,914
That stuff could kill
a rat in one sniff.
455
00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:48,713
And they trip balls on the way out.
456
00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:50,581
[SQUEALING]
457
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:51,849
Wait a minute. Wait.
458
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:54,071
So I was tripping on rat
poison the whole time?
459
00:20:54,073 --> 00:20:55,974
Yeah, probably, Einstein.
460
00:20:55,976 --> 00:20:57,689
Einstein.
461
00:20:57,691 --> 00:20:58,956
Well, that's great news, Dale.
462
00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,558
I've got to say, it's
really great news, man.
463
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,592
I'm so sorry I punched you in the face.
464
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:02,694
Come here. Come here.
465
00:21:02,696 --> 00:21:04,696
Oh, Jack. [LAUGHS]
466
00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:06,464
I can't stay mad at you.
467
00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:09,901
Okay. All right.
468
00:21:09,903 --> 00:21:11,769
So, Jack, what did you learn?
469
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,771
[GENTLE MUSIC]
470
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:18,843
Uh, well, I, uh, I invented a new game.
471
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,878
- Yes. Thank God.
- Okay, all right.
472
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,780
Yes, here we go.
473
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:23,981
Yeah, it's called "Dirty Durbs".
474
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:26,517
[TOGETHER] Awesome. Oh, my
God. I like it. "Dirty Durbs".
475
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:27,785
Yeah, and... and the way it works is,
476
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:30,871
based on the level of ecstasy
or pain that you're perceiving
477
00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:32,690
in his face, you have to determine
478
00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:34,992
whether he's peeing,
pooping, or masturbating.
479
00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:36,461
[TOGETHER] Ohh. Oh, my God.
480
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:37,528
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and the thing is...
481
00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:38,763
yeah, yeah, yeah, it's great.
482
00:21:38,765 --> 00:21:43,601
All right, everybody shut your
precious, beautiful mouths.
483
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:46,366
You know, after spending
an entire week alone
484
00:21:46,368 --> 00:21:48,973
in this empty school,
485
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:52,944
I realized that I can't
survive without community.
486
00:21:52,946 --> 00:21:55,546
And I came to appreciate all of you.
487
00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:58,549
[GENTLE MUSIC]
488
00:21:58,551 --> 00:21:59,784
♪♪
489
00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:03,721
And I decided that I wanted each of you
490
00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:06,958
to finish this year knowing more biology
491
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,760
than any student ever has.
492
00:22:08,762 --> 00:22:12,225
Mr. Griffin, I know we've had
our differences in the past.
493
00:22:12,227 --> 00:22:14,710
Uh, yeah, hold that thought, Sarika,
494
00:22:14,712 --> 00:22:16,801
because the biggest thing
that I learned is that
495
00:22:16,803 --> 00:22:19,504
prolonged exposure to rodent-killing gas
496
00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:23,474
causes hallucinations
and irrational ideation.
497
00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:26,240
And all these things that
I thought I'd learned,
498
00:22:26,242 --> 00:22:28,680
well...
499
00:22:28,682 --> 00:22:31,783
chemically induced illusions
500
00:22:31,785 --> 00:22:33,485
caused by a dying brain.
501
00:22:35,416 --> 00:22:38,518
But now...
502
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,059
I've got my thinker back in the pink.
503
00:22:41,061 --> 00:22:43,928
And everything's back to normal.
504
00:22:43,930 --> 00:22:46,898
[QUIRKY MUSIC]
505
00:22:46,900 --> 00:22:49,734
♪♪
506
00:22:49,736 --> 00:22:50,768
Um, boss.
507
00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:54,806
♪♪
508
00:22:54,808 --> 00:22:57,041
♪ I touch you twice ♪
509
00:22:57,043 --> 00:23:01,012
♪ I won't let go at any price ♪
510
00:23:01,014 --> 00:23:04,949
♪ I need you now like
I needed you then ♪
511
00:23:04,951 --> 00:23:08,951
♪♪
512
00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:13,825
That! That! That!
513
00:23:13,827 --> 00:23:14,827
Heh-heh!
514
00:23:22,983 --> 00:23:26,983
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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