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1
00:06:00,417 --> 00:06:02,167
Hello?
2
00:06:07,583 --> 00:06:09,625
You've had an accident.
3
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,083
You need an ambulance.
4
00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:16,208
I'll call for one.
I'll be right back.
5
00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:19,542
- Lie still here.
- No.
6
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,208
No.
7
00:06:21,208 --> 00:06:23,500
No what?
8
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:25,875
I don't need an ambulance.
9
00:06:25,875 --> 00:06:27,958
I can clearly see you do.
10
00:06:27,958 --> 00:06:31,083
I'll call for one.
11
00:06:31,083 --> 00:06:32,792
In that case,
I'll be up and gone
12
00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:35,250
before you have time
to come back.
13
00:06:37,583 --> 00:06:39,375
That will hurt.
14
00:06:39,375 --> 00:06:43,292
That's possible.
But it doesn't matter to me.
15
00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:50,417
I assume you don't want me
to call the police either.
16
00:06:51,708 --> 00:06:54,583
Yes, that's exactly right.
17
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,292
Is there anything you want?
18
00:07:10,833 --> 00:07:14,708
I'd like a cup of tea
with some milk.
19
00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:19,750
Well...
20
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:24,750
You have to come with me.
21
00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:27,333
I don't serve tea in the street.
22
00:07:30,375 --> 00:07:32,250
Can you walk?
23
00:07:33,042 --> 00:07:34,333
Yeah.
24
00:07:36,958 --> 00:07:39,250
I've even bought a cake.
25
00:07:45,167 --> 00:07:46,958
Here's a pajama.
26
00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:49,708
Thank you.
27
00:07:49,708 --> 00:07:52,000
I've made up the bed for you.
28
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,083
With clean sheets.
29
00:08:12,042 --> 00:08:14,500
- Sorry.
- That's okay.
30
00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:18,750
There.
31
00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:30,917
- I'll wash your clothes.
- Not my coat.
32
00:08:32,333 --> 00:08:34,458
It smells rather badly.
33
00:08:34,458 --> 00:08:36,292
It's my coat.
34
00:08:37,042 --> 00:08:39,042
The smell won't come off anyway.
35
00:08:40,292 --> 00:08:41,917
It's your coat.
36
00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:49,417
- Do you take sugar?
- No, thank you.
37
00:08:51,125 --> 00:08:52,917
There you go.
38
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,458
Thank you.
39
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,083
So what happened?
40
00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:06,833
Were you robbed?
41
00:09:10,458 --> 00:09:13,083
It's my own fault.
42
00:09:14,917 --> 00:09:16,792
I'm just a bad human being.
43
00:09:18,167 --> 00:09:20,500
I've never met
a bad human being.
44
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,000
Well, you have now.
45
00:09:24,458 --> 00:09:27,167
Do you want to talk about it?
46
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,083
You wouldn't understand.
47
00:09:31,917 --> 00:09:33,333
Well, try me.
48
00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:38,125
But I wouldn't know where to start.
49
00:09:47,958 --> 00:09:51,750
Why is that ridiculous
fishhook hanging there?
50
00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:54,000
That's a fly.
51
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,500
I caught a fish with it once,
a rather big one.
52
00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:59,417
Strangely enough.
53
00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:05,167
Fly fishing
is about tying feathers
54
00:10:05,167 --> 00:10:07,042
and other things to a hook
55
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:11,250
so it resembles something
the fish likes to eat.
56
00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:14,375
And then because
the fly is very light,
57
00:10:14,375 --> 00:10:16,917
you have to have a line
that is heavy.
58
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:20,208
It creates the velocity
when you cast.
59
00:10:30,458 --> 00:10:35,208
- You fish a lot?
- Well, some.
60
00:10:36,417 --> 00:10:38,500
But I don't catch much.
61
00:10:39,833 --> 00:10:42,750
The locals catch a lot more.
62
00:10:43,792 --> 00:10:46,875
When I was young, I...
I had a book I...
63
00:10:46,875 --> 00:10:48,375
I worshipped.
64
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:57,042
It was an old book
by Izaak Walton
65
00:10:57,042 --> 00:10:58,542
called "The Complete Angler."
66
00:11:02,292 --> 00:11:05,292
It was like a romantic
nature bible to me.
67
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:19,375
Maybe I know where to start.
68
00:11:22,958 --> 00:11:26,125
But if you're to understand, I'll...
69
00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:29,125
I'll have to tell you
the whole story.
70
00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:31,000
And it'll be long.
71
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,042
Long is good.
72
00:11:36,083 --> 00:11:38,958
And moral, I'm afraid.
73
00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:52,167
To begin with the bait,
74
00:11:52,167 --> 00:11:55,125
I discovered my cunt
as a two-year-old.
75
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:58,667
"Cunt" is a very strong word.
76
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:02,208
Let's call it
"Pandora's Box" then.
77
00:12:02,208 --> 00:12:06,333
Um... No, no, no.
"Cunt" is better.
78
00:12:06,333 --> 00:12:09,833
So, I was a nymphomaniac.
79
00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:12,458
Wait a moment, no.
Nobody can be a nymphomaniac
80
00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:14,083
when they're only two years old.
81
00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:15,708
I don't think even the strictest God
82
00:12:15,708 --> 00:12:19,333
would see anything else
than a child's normal behavior.
83
00:12:20,042 --> 00:12:22,500
What about fetuses?
It's common knowledge
84
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:25,542
that fetuses often touch
their genital organs.
85
00:12:26,458 --> 00:12:29,042
Can a fetus somehow be sinful?
86
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,125
Why not?
87
00:12:32,125 --> 00:12:34,458
Not according to any religion I know,
88
00:12:34,458 --> 00:12:37,083
unless it's an original sin.
89
00:12:37,083 --> 00:12:38,458
Ancestral.
90
00:12:41,167 --> 00:12:44,833
Or perhaps according to a religion
that doesn't exist yet.
91
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:49,125
According to a god that hasn't
yet manifested himself.
92
00:12:49,125 --> 00:12:51,500
But then you can imagine anything.
93
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:59,917
At an early age,
I was mechanically inclined.
94
00:12:59,917 --> 00:13:04,708
Kinetic energy, for example,
has always fascinated me.
95
00:13:05,417 --> 00:13:08,917
And my friend,
let's call her "B,"
96
00:13:08,917 --> 00:13:11,083
always came up with the ideas.
97
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:16,167
Playing frogs was one
of B's classics.
98
00:13:40,958 --> 00:13:42,375
Joe, are you all right?
99
00:13:42,375 --> 00:13:44,250
Just a moment.
100
00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:47,833
Are you done?
101
00:13:58,542 --> 00:14:01,125
For Christ's sakes,
leave them alone.
102
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,542
I loved my father very much.
103
00:14:04,542 --> 00:14:05,917
He was a doctor.
104
00:14:06,917 --> 00:14:09,458
My mother's name was Katherine.
105
00:14:09,458 --> 00:14:11,500
My father called her Kay.
106
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:16,833
I suppose she was what
you'd call "a cold bitch."
107
00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:21,542
She always had her back turned
when she played solitaire.
108
00:14:21,542 --> 00:14:23,333
I hated solitaire.
109
00:14:29,917 --> 00:14:32,875
When we had P.E.,
I'd climb up into the ropes
110
00:14:32,875 --> 00:14:37,250
and hang there for ages
with the rope between my legs.
111
00:14:38,083 --> 00:14:40,917
"The Sensation" we called it.
112
00:14:40,917 --> 00:14:45,125
I remember very distinctly
this word, "sensation."
113
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:55,458
Perhaps the only difference
between me and other people
114
00:14:55,458 --> 00:14:59,250
was that I've always demanded
more from the sunset.
115
00:15:00,083 --> 00:15:04,917
More spectacular colors
when the sun hit the horizon.
116
00:15:07,375 --> 00:15:09,333
That's perhaps my only sin.
117
00:15:12,917 --> 00:15:15,375
Why are you insisting
that children are sinful?
118
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:18,042
Not children.
119
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:18,958
Me.
120
00:15:20,708 --> 00:15:22,333
I don't see sin anywhere.
121
00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:24,958
But then I'm not religious.
122
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:28,042
Well, that's because you don't
know the rest of the story.
123
00:15:28,042 --> 00:15:30,167
And by the way,
I'm not religious either.
124
00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:33,667
Why would you take the most
unsympathetic aspect
125
00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:37,083
of religion such as
the concept of sin...
126
00:15:38,042 --> 00:15:40,708
and let it survive beyond religion?
127
00:15:44,458 --> 00:15:47,000
I don't understand this self-hatred.
128
00:15:47,708 --> 00:15:49,458
Well, that's what I said.
129
00:15:49,458 --> 00:15:51,917
- You wouldn't understand.
- No, I'm...
130
00:15:53,208 --> 00:15:54,875
I'm sorry, I'll shut up.
131
00:15:56,792 --> 00:15:58,292
Please continue.
132
00:16:12,292 --> 00:16:16,250
Nervus... pudendus.
133
00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:25,333
Nervus dorsalis clitoridis.
134
00:17:11,875 --> 00:17:14,875
When the ash tree was created,
135
00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:17,583
it made all the other trees
in the forest jealous.
136
00:17:18,875 --> 00:17:21,042
It was the most beautiful tree.
137
00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:26,292
You couldn't say
anything bad about it.
138
00:17:27,583 --> 00:17:31,333
It was the World Tree
in Norse mythology.
139
00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:34,083
Remember, Odin...
140
00:17:34,083 --> 00:17:37,583
He hung from the ash tree,
Yggdrasil, for nine days
141
00:17:37,583 --> 00:17:39,292
in order to gain insight.
142
00:17:41,792 --> 00:17:43,958
The ash tree had
the strongest wood.
143
00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:51,250
Then in the winter...
144
00:17:53,375 --> 00:17:55,792
when the ash tree
lost all of its leaves...
145
00:17:58,958 --> 00:18:01,625
all the trees noticed
its black buds,
146
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:03,458
and started laughing.
147
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:05,542
"Oh, look.
148
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:09,333
The ash tree has had
its fingers in the ashes."
149
00:18:12,083 --> 00:18:13,208
See?
150
00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:17,250
You can always tell
the ash tree in winter
151
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:18,333
by the black buds.
152
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:30,875
Now...
153
00:18:32,292 --> 00:18:35,542
Now this is a lime tree leaf.
154
00:18:35,542 --> 00:18:38,833
- Remember?
- I forgot about the lime tree.
155
00:18:38,833 --> 00:18:40,958
I've told you 100 times.
156
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:44,458
My dad loved
telling me about the trees,
157
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,958
and their leaves,
and considered it
158
00:18:46,958 --> 00:18:48,875
part of a good education.
159
00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:54,042
He especially loved the childish
educational stories he told
160
00:18:54,042 --> 00:18:56,833
to help me remember
what I had learned.
161
00:18:57,917 --> 00:19:00,583
I knew how much he loved
telling those stories.
162
00:19:00,583 --> 00:19:03,875
Sometimes I pretended
I'd forgotten them.
163
00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:09,625
Originally, the lime
tree's leaves were round.
164
00:19:11,292 --> 00:19:13,333
A fox had her den
beneath its roots
165
00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:15,000
where she had four cubs.
166
00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:18,625
One day, she went out
looking for food for them.
167
00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:21,708
There was a hunt in the forest.
She was shot.
168
00:19:22,292 --> 00:19:25,750
Wounded, she crawled back to the den
169
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:29,042
where she and the four cubs died.
170
00:19:31,833 --> 00:19:34,000
This made the lime tree so sad.
171
00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:36,000
And from then on,
172
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:39,250
the lime tree decided to have...
173
00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:42,708
heart-shaped leaves.
174
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:47,958
Oh, yes, that's right.
Heart-shaped.
175
00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:55,542
Am I boring you?
176
00:19:55,542 --> 00:19:58,042
No, no. I'm just
looking forward
177
00:19:58,042 --> 00:20:00,667
to how you'll get fishing
weaved into your tale.
178
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:04,750
You could start with the fly
on the wall there.
179
00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:06,458
It's called a nymph.
180
00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:09,208
It will tie in elegantly
with your discussion
181
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:14,333
about nymphomania.
A nymph is an early stage
182
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:16,167
in the life of an insect.
183
00:20:18,292 --> 00:20:20,625
As a quite young nymph,
184
00:20:21,208 --> 00:20:24,667
it was imperative for me
to get rid of my virginity.
185
00:20:25,542 --> 00:20:26,708
Hopla.
186
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:30,042
I kind of knew this boy, J,
187
00:20:30,042 --> 00:20:32,125
who had a moped.
188
00:20:32,833 --> 00:20:35,042
So in my eyes he was
rather sophisticated.
189
00:20:36,458 --> 00:20:38,125
I was 15,
190
00:20:38,125 --> 00:20:40,833
and perhaps my girlish,
romantic expectations
191
00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:42,333
were a bit high.
192
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,167
But he had good, strong hands.
193
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,250
I liked his hands.
194
00:20:59,167 --> 00:21:00,500
Hello?
195
00:21:01,375 --> 00:21:03,083
- Hi.
- Hi.
196
00:21:17,250 --> 00:21:20,375
If I asked you to take my virginity
would that be a problem?
197
00:21:22,625 --> 00:21:24,250
No, I don't see a problem.
198
00:21:28,792 --> 00:21:30,083
So, um...
199
00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:34,208
Where shall I go?
200
00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:05,125
It's the fucking carburetor.
201
00:22:07,292 --> 00:22:09,250
I just can't work it out,
you imagine that?
202
00:22:11,833 --> 00:22:14,292
- That's not very good.
- Hmm?
203
00:22:14,292 --> 00:22:16,375
- It's not very good.
- No, it bloody isn't.
204
00:22:16,375 --> 00:22:18,417
Ruins the whole idea
of having a moped.
205
00:22:21,917 --> 00:22:24,375
You should probably take off
your knickers, yeah?
206
00:23:09,542 --> 00:23:13,083
He shoved his cock
inside me and humped me three times.
207
00:23:21,667 --> 00:23:24,917
Then he turned
me over like a sack of potatoes.
208
00:23:32,667 --> 00:23:35,583
Then he humped me
five times in the ass.
209
00:24:42,833 --> 00:24:45,417
I never forgot those
two humiliating numbers.
210
00:24:47,750 --> 00:24:49,292
Three and five?
211
00:24:49,292 --> 00:24:50,875
Those are Fibonacci numbers.
212
00:24:55,125 --> 00:24:56,458
That may be.
213
00:24:56,458 --> 00:24:58,542
In any case, it hurt like hell.
214
00:24:59,167 --> 00:25:02,458
I swore I'd never sleep
with anyone again.
215
00:25:02,458 --> 00:25:05,792
But of course that only
lasted a short while.
216
00:25:06,292 --> 00:25:09,250
And now to get back
to your fishing.
217
00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:12,250
A couple of years later,
218
00:25:12,250 --> 00:25:14,500
I was at my friend B's,
219
00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:17,208
and as always,
she had a new idea,
220
00:25:17,208 --> 00:25:20,708
financed by her younger
brother's piggy banks
221
00:25:20,708 --> 00:25:22,750
which she regularly emptied.
222
00:25:27,833 --> 00:25:30,167
We put on clothes later known as
223
00:25:30,875 --> 00:25:33,167
the "fuck me now" clothes.
224
00:25:34,208 --> 00:25:37,125
The idea was a competition.
225
00:25:37,125 --> 00:25:39,792
We were to go on a train trip.
226
00:25:39,792 --> 00:25:42,667
B said there was
no need for tickets.
227
00:25:43,625 --> 00:25:45,875
The one who would fuck
the most men
228
00:25:45,875 --> 00:25:48,208
when we reached the destination
229
00:25:48,208 --> 00:25:50,250
would win the chocolate sweets.
230
00:25:51,458 --> 00:25:54,750
"Born To Be Wild")
231
00:26:13,875 --> 00:26:15,333
May I interrupt here?
232
00:26:16,750 --> 00:26:19,500
What you were doing when you
walked down that corridor.
233
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,583
You were reading the river.
234
00:26:35,042 --> 00:26:38,708
Most of the large
fish stay sheltered from the current
235
00:26:38,708 --> 00:26:41,083
to save energy,
and to hide from the prey.
236
00:26:42,125 --> 00:26:43,750
Where the fish hides in the stream
237
00:26:43,750 --> 00:26:45,875
entails a very
complicated hierarchy.
238
00:26:47,833 --> 00:26:51,375
The topography decides where
the most attractive places are,
239
00:26:51,375 --> 00:26:53,667
and the biggest fish
choose the best positions.
240
00:27:02,125 --> 00:27:03,917
What do I do?
241
00:27:03,917 --> 00:27:06,292
Smile and make eye contact.
242
00:27:06,292 --> 00:27:08,333
But what if it doesn't work?
243
00:27:08,833 --> 00:27:11,833
If you have to talk, remember
to ask lots of "wh" questions
244
00:27:11,833 --> 00:27:13,583
if you want more than
a yes or no answer.
245
00:27:13,583 --> 00:27:15,042
Then it'll just happen on its own.
246
00:27:15,042 --> 00:27:18,500
You just take them to the lavatory
and you have sex with them.
247
00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:21,875
Oh. What if it's nasty?
248
00:27:21,875 --> 00:27:24,417
Then you just think of the bag
of chocolate sweeties.
249
00:27:56,542 --> 00:27:59,750
What... What time is it?
250
00:28:02,125 --> 00:28:03,125
Ten.
251
00:28:18,167 --> 00:28:20,458
Where do you come from?
252
00:28:21,875 --> 00:28:23,250
From home.
253
00:28:30,750 --> 00:28:33,292
Who knows where
the lavatory is?
254
00:28:34,250 --> 00:28:36,833
Well, if you take a right,
you will arrive at a lavatory
255
00:28:36,833 --> 00:28:38,458
at the end of the car.
256
00:28:38,458 --> 00:28:41,583
At the same time it is
so cleverly arranged
257
00:28:41,583 --> 00:28:46,333
that if you take a left turn you
will also arrive at a lavatory
258
00:28:46,333 --> 00:28:49,083
since at the end of the next car
there is also one.
259
00:29:08,375 --> 00:29:09,917
Let me show you
where the lavatory is.
260
00:29:41,833 --> 00:29:44,250
It turned out to be
shockingly easy.
261
00:29:45,042 --> 00:29:48,750
In no time,
B was ahead five to three.
262
00:29:48,750 --> 00:29:50,458
And it was exactly right.
263
00:29:50,458 --> 00:29:52,917
Look them in the eye and smile.
264
00:29:54,083 --> 00:29:56,500
But then suddenly, it stopped.
265
00:29:56,500 --> 00:29:59,792
That's a very clear parallel
to fishing in the stream.
266
00:30:00,625 --> 00:30:04,458
As it happens, either none
of the fish are feeding,
267
00:30:04,458 --> 00:30:06,167
or they all feed
at the same time.
268
00:30:06,167 --> 00:30:09,917
They go into feeding frenzy.
All bite.
269
00:30:09,917 --> 00:30:12,667
And then just as suddenly
as it started, it stops.
270
00:30:13,833 --> 00:30:18,000
It's observable, but it's
highly unpredictable.
271
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,583
And it has to do with,
I don't know,
272
00:30:20,583 --> 00:30:23,458
weather, barometric pressure,
273
00:30:23,458 --> 00:30:29,000
maybe some fish psychology.
If that's possible.
274
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:33,042
Anyway, the fish most readily bite
at the beginning of a light rain,
275
00:30:33,042 --> 00:30:35,583
and I think that's because
they feel safe
276
00:30:35,583 --> 00:30:37,792
when they swim in the stream.
277
00:30:37,792 --> 00:30:39,833
Because they can't be seen
from above.
278
00:30:39,833 --> 00:30:42,125
The water's surface is disturbed.
279
00:30:44,500 --> 00:30:46,625
But then it started again.
280
00:30:46,625 --> 00:30:49,292
Although, a bit more slowly.
281
00:30:49,292 --> 00:30:52,042
Yeah. I think I know how.
282
00:30:52,042 --> 00:30:55,375
Because fly fishing can be
done in several phases.
283
00:30:55,375 --> 00:30:59,750
And if the fish stop biting,
you move on to phase two.
284
00:30:59,750 --> 00:31:03,208
And in phase two, you not
only imitate an insect,
285
00:31:03,208 --> 00:31:05,667
but an insect in trouble.
286
00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:08,667
You pull... You pull the line.
287
00:31:08,667 --> 00:31:12,833
You tug it irregularly,
so the fish gets the impression
288
00:31:12,833 --> 00:31:15,875
that it's dealing with
an injured and easy prey.
289
00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:21,125
And then helplessly, let the fly
float down the river again.
290
00:31:21,125 --> 00:31:24,875
Then half-heartedly,
make a few jumps forward again.
291
00:31:27,417 --> 00:31:30,667
It can be done... It can
be done very elegantly.
292
00:31:44,458 --> 00:31:45,542
Hey.
293
00:31:46,500 --> 00:31:47,708
Sorry.
294
00:31:48,625 --> 00:31:50,750
Nothing to feel sorry about.
295
00:31:52,167 --> 00:31:54,625
I'm just not feeling
very well today.
296
00:31:55,375 --> 00:31:57,208
What could be so bad?
297
00:31:58,292 --> 00:32:00,292
Oh, thank you.
298
00:32:02,125 --> 00:32:05,542
I can't talk about it right now.
299
00:32:05,542 --> 00:32:08,042
Can I just sit here
for awhile?
300
00:32:09,167 --> 00:32:11,125
Yeah. Sure.
301
00:32:16,792 --> 00:32:18,542
Is it better now?
302
00:32:18,542 --> 00:32:20,208
No.
303
00:32:31,875 --> 00:32:35,458
- Are you all right?
- It's Betty.
304
00:32:37,583 --> 00:32:39,667
I was just told
that she's very ill.
305
00:32:39,667 --> 00:32:42,583
Is Betty a close family member?
306
00:32:45,292 --> 00:32:47,708
You could say that.
307
00:32:47,708 --> 00:32:50,042
She's my dwarf hamster.
308
00:32:50,042 --> 00:32:53,875
Dwarf hamster?
You can't be serious.
309
00:32:53,875 --> 00:32:56,083
Well, what was I to do?
310
00:32:56,083 --> 00:32:59,875
And then, I did have a dwarf
hamster when I was young.
311
00:32:59,875 --> 00:33:02,042
That you were very close to?
312
00:33:02,042 --> 00:33:04,750
Not at all.
A bloody nuisance.
313
00:33:04,750 --> 00:33:07,667
Dwarf hamster?
That's not so bad.
314
00:33:09,417 --> 00:33:11,625
Would have been worse
if it were a person.
315
00:33:11,625 --> 00:33:13,750
Don't say that.
316
00:33:13,750 --> 00:33:17,000
I'm extremely fond of my hamster.
317
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:21,417
Yes, I think that's a rather
cynical thing to say about Betty.
318
00:33:21,417 --> 00:33:25,542
Yes, I made the cage nice
and cozy for her when...
319
00:33:25,542 --> 00:33:27,917
- When I got her.
- I bet she liked that.
320
00:33:29,458 --> 00:33:30,750
Betty was excited.
321
00:33:32,625 --> 00:33:35,708
One of nature's
most meaningless creatures.
322
00:33:36,542 --> 00:33:39,042
You're aware that
the choice of a dwarf hamster
323
00:33:39,042 --> 00:33:42,542
possibly suggests certain
sexual connotations.
324
00:33:42,542 --> 00:33:43,958
I can see that now
325
00:33:43,958 --> 00:33:46,875
but it was really not
a conscious choice.
326
00:33:48,042 --> 00:33:51,458
How long does a dwarf hamster
actually live?
327
00:33:51,458 --> 00:33:53,542
Months, years?
328
00:33:54,417 --> 00:33:56,417
Its life is much too short.
329
00:34:04,333 --> 00:34:07,292
Would you show me
where the lavatory is?
330
00:34:08,458 --> 00:34:11,417
I... have to blow my nose.
331
00:34:30,667 --> 00:34:33,083
Just the same,
we were running out of subjects,
332
00:34:33,083 --> 00:34:35,792
and B was ahead on points,
333
00:34:35,792 --> 00:34:39,417
which led us to S's
first-class compartment.
334
00:34:43,875 --> 00:34:45,333
Tickets, please.
335
00:34:51,333 --> 00:34:53,667
Thank you. Ladies?
336
00:34:55,333 --> 00:34:56,333
Tickets.
337
00:35:06,958 --> 00:35:08,875
Well...
338
00:35:10,625 --> 00:35:12,667
I think I might have lost it.
339
00:35:12,667 --> 00:35:14,333
Perhaps.
340
00:35:15,750 --> 00:35:17,750
Drop yours as well, did you?
341
00:35:18,375 --> 00:35:21,708
I haven't bought a ticket
for your shitty train.
342
00:35:22,333 --> 00:35:24,458
It's so bloody slow,
we should have been
343
00:35:24,458 --> 00:35:26,333
at the end of the track
half an hour ago.
344
00:35:26,333 --> 00:35:29,208
Regardless of delays, you still
need a ticket, sweetheart.
345
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:31,625
Eight pounds each, please.
346
00:35:33,750 --> 00:35:35,917
Ooh!
347
00:35:35,917 --> 00:35:39,042
I accidentally tore it up.
348
00:35:39,042 --> 00:35:41,583
Can't expect me to pay
for scraps of paper.
349
00:35:42,125 --> 00:35:44,458
- Have another one.
- Oh, great idea.
350
00:35:44,458 --> 00:35:47,167
Oh, that one's disappeared too.
351
00:35:47,167 --> 00:35:48,667
I can always just get the police
352
00:35:48,667 --> 00:35:50,833
to collect your payment
at the next station...
353
00:35:50,833 --> 00:35:53,375
Let's just take it easy here,
shall we?
354
00:35:53,375 --> 00:35:56,250
Apparently, the young ladies
have left without any money.
355
00:35:56,250 --> 00:35:58,208
If it's okay with you, I'd like
to pay for their tickets.
356
00:35:58,208 --> 00:36:01,167
No, sir, it's not.
Leave your money where it is.
357
00:36:01,167 --> 00:36:02,958
We'll let the police
deal with these two.
358
00:36:02,958 --> 00:36:04,667
We did have sort of an agreement
359
00:36:04,667 --> 00:36:06,667
that I was to pay.
I just forgot about it.
360
00:36:10,333 --> 00:36:14,208
I see. Two first-class tickets...
361
00:36:14,208 --> 00:36:16,667
for two first-class ladies.
362
00:36:18,333 --> 00:36:20,208
Enjoy the rest of your journey.
363
00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:24,167
Tickets, please.
364
00:36:32,667 --> 00:36:35,750
Now that you've been
so nice to us...
365
00:36:37,792 --> 00:36:40,375
we'd like to be nice to you, too.
366
00:36:40,375 --> 00:36:42,833
Oh, that's very kind of you,
but there's no need.
367
00:36:47,750 --> 00:36:49,042
I mean that.
368
00:36:53,333 --> 00:36:55,542
You have to split them up
into whether they have
369
00:36:55,542 --> 00:36:57,667
a goal and a mission or not.
370
00:36:58,792 --> 00:37:00,083
That one doesn't.
371
00:37:00,708 --> 00:37:02,708
Well, I've already lost anyway.
372
00:37:04,750 --> 00:37:08,375
I'm willing to give you
five extra points...
373
00:37:10,958 --> 00:37:13,208
if you can get that one in there.
374
00:37:15,625 --> 00:37:18,458
I decided,
perhaps a bit desperately,
375
00:37:18,458 --> 00:37:20,708
that the only thing
standing between me
376
00:37:20,708 --> 00:37:22,625
and the bag of chocolate sweets,
377
00:37:22,625 --> 00:37:27,083
was an unequivocal provocation
of this man.
378
00:37:27,083 --> 00:37:30,500
Excellent. An induced take.
379
00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:33,708
When all other attempts fail,
a dramatic provocation
380
00:37:33,708 --> 00:37:37,417
can get an otherwise completely
passive fish to bite.
381
00:37:37,417 --> 00:37:39,292
A salmon or a trout,
for example,
382
00:37:39,292 --> 00:37:41,875
eats itself fat
while in salt water,
383
00:37:41,875 --> 00:37:43,958
and then basically
has no need to eat
384
00:37:43,958 --> 00:37:47,875
as it makes its way upstream
to the spawning grounds.
385
00:37:47,875 --> 00:37:50,250
They're not hungry but they
will react instinctively
386
00:37:50,250 --> 00:37:52,000
to the right provocation.
387
00:37:52,875 --> 00:37:54,875
Which would not be a fly,
but for instance,
388
00:37:54,875 --> 00:37:58,583
a brightly colored wobbler,
preferably red,
389
00:37:58,583 --> 00:38:01,500
served immediately
in front of the fish.
390
00:38:01,500 --> 00:38:05,000
The very best is one we call
the Finnish Weapon.
391
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,875
The so-called "Rappala."
392
00:38:09,792 --> 00:38:11,667
I don't know if it's comparable,
393
00:38:11,667 --> 00:38:14,708
but I decided in any case
to find out
394
00:38:14,708 --> 00:38:16,792
why he hadn't taken the bait,
395
00:38:16,792 --> 00:38:19,333
and to use my
psychological abilities,
396
00:38:19,333 --> 00:38:23,250
which B, in my opinion,
didn't possess to the same degree.
397
00:38:24,500 --> 00:38:26,667
You've bought a gift.
398
00:38:28,292 --> 00:38:29,208
Yes.
399
00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:32,417
It's for my wife.
400
00:38:33,917 --> 00:38:37,917
- No gifts for the children?
- No.
401
00:38:39,125 --> 00:38:41,208
We don't have any, actually.
402
00:38:42,083 --> 00:38:45,167
Well, you seem rather well-to-do.
403
00:38:46,917 --> 00:38:51,792
You travel first-class,
and you bought us our tickets.
404
00:38:51,792 --> 00:38:55,833
Why then not buy a decent gift
for your wife?
405
00:38:55,833 --> 00:38:58,583
I can see it comes
from the station.
406
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,667
Of course I should have...
407
00:39:06,667 --> 00:39:08,917
bought her something...
408
00:39:08,917 --> 00:39:10,625
something better, but...
409
00:39:11,792 --> 00:39:14,833
Let's just say I was suddenly
in a hurry to get home.
410
00:39:15,833 --> 00:39:18,708
Why would a man like you
411
00:39:18,708 --> 00:39:21,833
with such an orderly life
suddenly have to hurry?
412
00:39:25,583 --> 00:39:27,500
It has to do with family.
413
00:39:30,125 --> 00:39:32,625
My wife and I have decided
that we...
414
00:39:35,583 --> 00:39:37,917
we miss having children, after all.
415
00:39:38,583 --> 00:39:41,375
And that if we are to have children,
it has to be now.
416
00:39:44,167 --> 00:39:46,458
So my wife called yesterday
to say that she...
417
00:39:47,833 --> 00:39:49,292
She started ovulating.
418
00:39:51,417 --> 00:39:55,542
And all signs point to maximum
fertility precisely tonight.
419
00:39:56,625 --> 00:39:57,708
You see?
420
00:39:58,667 --> 00:40:01,375
That's why I bought her
a gift at the station.
421
00:40:01,375 --> 00:40:04,083
I had to get a ticket home
as quickly as possible.
422
00:40:05,875 --> 00:40:10,917
- Well, I understand now.
- What is it you understand?
423
00:40:10,917 --> 00:40:13,333
Why you didn't have sex with us.
424
00:40:16,917 --> 00:40:19,708
It wasn't because I didn't want to.
425
00:40:19,708 --> 00:40:23,708
So you've been saving your sperm.
426
00:40:23,708 --> 00:40:28,583
For weeks. I mean,
you and your wife are...
427
00:40:28,583 --> 00:40:31,917
seem to be at an age
where every attempt
428
00:40:31,917 --> 00:40:36,167
to become pregnant has to be
taken very seriously.
429
00:40:38,125 --> 00:40:40,125
Right now, my...
430
00:40:42,208 --> 00:40:46,250
My sperm quality
is at its peak, I'm told.
431
00:41:00,708 --> 00:41:02,292
Please...
432
00:41:06,083 --> 00:41:08,583
I'm begging you, please don't.
433
00:41:09,458 --> 00:41:10,375
It's okay.
434
00:41:11,708 --> 00:41:12,958
Please don't.
435
00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:17,875
You've been as horny as hell.
436
00:41:18,917 --> 00:41:20,875
But you wouldn't
give up your load.
437
00:41:21,625 --> 00:41:22,875
Please don't.
438
00:41:32,750 --> 00:41:34,667
Oh, fuck.
439
00:42:14,750 --> 00:42:15,833
Wow.
440
00:42:28,375 --> 00:42:32,250
In your case, it wasn't
the taste of a Madeleine cake,
441
00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:34,125
moistened with lime blossom tea,
442
00:42:34,125 --> 00:42:37,167
but the combination
of chocolate and sperm.
443
00:42:38,208 --> 00:42:39,292
What?
444
00:42:39,875 --> 00:42:44,917
That was a piece of
culturally blasphemic digression.
445
00:42:46,875 --> 00:42:48,792
It's a story about memory.
446
00:42:48,792 --> 00:42:50,833
How the combination
of two flavors
447
00:42:50,833 --> 00:42:52,917
set off a chain of memories.
448
00:42:55,500 --> 00:42:59,750
So oral sex became,
in the eye of the angler,
449
00:42:59,750 --> 00:43:04,542
your... your Finnish weapon.
450
00:43:04,542 --> 00:43:06,542
Is that your only comment?
451
00:43:08,500 --> 00:43:10,583
What else... What else
do you want me to say?
452
00:43:12,542 --> 00:43:14,542
That I behaved reprehensibly.
453
00:43:15,875 --> 00:43:18,083
That already my actions exemplify
454
00:43:18,083 --> 00:43:21,125
that I'm a...
I'm a terrible human being.
455
00:43:22,167 --> 00:43:24,667
That's not the way I see it.
456
00:43:24,667 --> 00:43:27,250
On the contrary, I saw it as a...
457
00:43:27,250 --> 00:43:29,792
A very pleasurable
and humorous story.
458
00:43:30,625 --> 00:43:34,333
Not at all sad, or...
or weighed down by sin.
459
00:43:34,958 --> 00:43:36,500
Like all that talk
about Pandora's Box.
460
00:43:36,500 --> 00:43:40,542
I've consciously used
and hurt others...
461
00:43:40,542 --> 00:43:43,375
for the sake of
my own satisfaction.
462
00:43:44,208 --> 00:43:47,000
And what I've told you so far
only begins to suggest that.
463
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,792
But when you told the story,
you were cheerful.
464
00:43:49,792 --> 00:43:51,042
Full of humor.
465
00:43:51,625 --> 00:43:55,417
It wasn't as if you embarked
on some tragic tale.
466
00:43:55,417 --> 00:43:57,500
Well, that's the way I am.
467
00:43:59,667 --> 00:44:03,208
I've always loved
the chills at the start of a fever,
468
00:44:03,208 --> 00:44:06,500
knowing only too well that
sickness will soon follow.
469
00:44:13,250 --> 00:44:15,333
The only thing you've done,
470
00:44:15,333 --> 00:44:18,375
except giving a few people
an experience to remember,
471
00:44:18,375 --> 00:44:19,875
is that you...
472
00:44:19,875 --> 00:44:22,333
You relieved S from his load
473
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,417
in some... some youthful hubris.
474
00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:30,667
I read somewhere that if you
keep the load too long
475
00:44:30,667 --> 00:44:32,167
the sperm will die.
476
00:44:32,167 --> 00:44:34,417
Or worse, degenerate.
477
00:44:35,750 --> 00:44:38,167
Maybe thanks to you,
Mr. S and his wife
478
00:44:38,167 --> 00:44:40,625
now have a healthy
and well-functioning child.
479
00:44:42,542 --> 00:44:45,292
I discovered my power as a woman
480
00:44:45,292 --> 00:44:47,750
and used it without
any concern for others.
481
00:44:48,750 --> 00:44:50,375
That's completely unacceptable.
482
00:44:50,375 --> 00:44:52,667
Oh, little darling...
483
00:44:52,667 --> 00:44:54,292
Don't you "little darling" me.
484
00:44:57,292 --> 00:44:58,042
No.
485
00:45:01,042 --> 00:45:02,958
What I wanted to say was that
486
00:45:03,875 --> 00:45:05,708
if you have wings, why not fly?
487
00:45:07,292 --> 00:45:08,500
Allow me to digress.
488
00:45:09,125 --> 00:45:11,917
I read a book about
Sikorski and helicopters
489
00:45:11,917 --> 00:45:13,833
where the author
stressed the fact that
490
00:45:13,833 --> 00:45:17,292
in order to take off, you tilt
the helicopter forward.
491
00:45:17,292 --> 00:45:19,375
It looks like you're trying
to force the helicopter
492
00:45:19,375 --> 00:45:23,667
down into the ground,
but the effect is the contrary.
493
00:45:23,667 --> 00:45:25,708
That the velocity
takes the helicopter
494
00:45:25,708 --> 00:45:29,542
and sweeps it up in the air.
495
00:45:29,542 --> 00:45:32,375
The pilots say the helicopter
wants to fly.
496
00:45:34,208 --> 00:45:36,375
It's like when you're
in a glider plane,
497
00:45:36,375 --> 00:45:39,375
and suddenly you're lifted,
498
00:45:39,375 --> 00:45:43,208
because of the spontaneous
emission of thermals.
499
00:45:43,208 --> 00:45:48,500
Thermals is when the sun
is warming up the field,
500
00:45:48,500 --> 00:45:52,625
and it emits a thermal bubble
of warm air that rises.
501
00:45:53,500 --> 00:45:55,917
These aircraft, they want to fly.
502
00:45:55,917 --> 00:45:58,167
It's just a little
unpredictable when.
503
00:46:00,375 --> 00:46:02,958
You flew on that... on that train.
504
00:46:04,333 --> 00:46:06,625
And that surprised you.
505
00:46:41,583 --> 00:46:43,208
No more stories.
506
00:46:45,542 --> 00:46:47,125
You need to sleep.
507
00:46:47,792 --> 00:46:49,167
No, no.
508
00:46:49,833 --> 00:46:52,000
This is beginning to amuse me.
509
00:46:58,708 --> 00:47:00,583
I don't even know your name.
510
00:47:02,292 --> 00:47:03,583
My name is Joe.
511
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:06,542
I'm Seligman.
512
00:47:08,208 --> 00:47:10,250
What a fucking ridiculous name.
513
00:47:12,708 --> 00:47:14,167
It's Jewish.
514
00:47:15,292 --> 00:47:16,958
You said you weren't religious.
515
00:47:16,958 --> 00:47:19,417
No, but my great-grandfather was.
516
00:47:19,417 --> 00:47:22,500
And my parents gave me
the name as a sort of...
517
00:47:23,542 --> 00:47:25,958
sentimental association to Judaism.
518
00:47:29,917 --> 00:47:34,958
Why let the sentimental part
of religion, as you said,
519
00:47:34,958 --> 00:47:38,000
outlive religion itself?
520
00:47:41,375 --> 00:47:42,792
You have a point.
521
00:47:45,667 --> 00:47:48,708
But we've always been anti-Zionists,
522
00:47:50,333 --> 00:47:52,583
which is not the same
as being anti-Semitic,
523
00:47:53,875 --> 00:47:56,500
as certain political powers
try to convince us.
524
00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:58,917
Seligman...
525
00:47:59,958 --> 00:48:02,500
means "the happy one."
526
00:48:05,792 --> 00:48:07,458
So, are you happy then?
527
00:48:10,458 --> 00:48:12,208
Well, I suppose I am.
528
00:48:14,167 --> 00:48:15,792
In my own way.
529
00:48:16,458 --> 00:48:17,875
Even if I'm the kind of person
530
00:48:17,875 --> 00:48:20,208
who cut the nails
of the right hand first.
531
00:48:20,208 --> 00:48:21,625
What does that mean?
532
00:48:22,542 --> 00:48:24,833
Well, I divide humanity
into two groups:
533
00:48:24,833 --> 00:48:27,792
the people who cut the nails
on the left hand first,
534
00:48:27,792 --> 00:48:30,750
and the people who cut the nails
of the right hand first.
535
00:48:31,708 --> 00:48:33,708
My theory is that the people
who cut the nails
536
00:48:33,708 --> 00:48:37,042
of the left hand first,
they're more light-hearted.
537
00:48:37,042 --> 00:48:39,458
They have a tendency
to enjoy life more,
538
00:48:39,958 --> 00:48:42,958
because they go straight
for the easiest task, and...
539
00:48:43,667 --> 00:48:46,458
save the difficulties for later.
540
00:48:52,292 --> 00:48:56,583
- So what do you do?
- Always the left hand first.
541
00:48:56,583 --> 00:48:58,417
I don't think there's a choice.
542
00:48:59,167 --> 00:49:02,542
Go for the pleasure first, always.
543
00:49:02,542 --> 00:49:05,792
And then when you've
done the left hand,
544
00:49:05,792 --> 00:49:07,500
only the right hand remains.
545
00:49:08,208 --> 00:49:10,792
That's the easiest one left.
546
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,208
I never thought of it like that.
547
00:49:23,042 --> 00:49:24,958
Well, you're never too old.
548
00:49:25,792 --> 00:49:27,083
Never too old to learn.
549
00:49:35,583 --> 00:49:37,917
That's rugelach.
550
00:49:37,917 --> 00:49:40,417
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it's a Jewish cake.
551
00:49:40,417 --> 00:49:44,000
- There's that sentimentality again.
- Oh, but it's more than rugelach.
552
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,667
It's rugelach served
with a cake fork.
553
00:49:48,208 --> 00:49:51,375
A rugelach, in my opinion, is pastry,
554
00:49:51,375 --> 00:49:54,542
which there is no excuse
for eating with a cake fork.
555
00:49:54,542 --> 00:49:58,500
To serve it with a cake fork
is irritatingly unmanly,
556
00:49:58,500 --> 00:50:01,333
not to say downright feminine.
557
00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:07,250
However, it can bring us
further with the story.
558
00:50:08,708 --> 00:50:13,750
I also knew someone who
consumed rugelach every day,
559
00:50:13,750 --> 00:50:16,542
almost ritually,
with a cake fork.
560
00:50:17,333 --> 00:50:20,042
And although we'll be
jumping a bit in time,
561
00:50:21,917 --> 00:50:24,083
I have to tell you about Jerome.
562
00:50:24,792 --> 00:50:26,583
As far as I can see,
the next chapter
563
00:50:26,583 --> 00:50:29,250
doesn't contain
as direct an accusation
564
00:50:29,250 --> 00:50:32,875
against my person
as the rest of the story.
565
00:50:32,875 --> 00:50:35,833
But as you've read
a great deal, apparently,
566
00:50:35,833 --> 00:50:38,458
you know that in a story
things have to be good
567
00:50:38,458 --> 00:50:40,250
before they can be bad.
568
00:50:44,417 --> 00:50:48,375
The chapter will also make
a sentimental soul like you happy
569
00:50:48,375 --> 00:50:52,958
as it contains observations
on the subject of love.
570
00:52:11,167 --> 00:52:13,083
Can I tell you something?
571
00:52:15,167 --> 00:52:17,250
Sure.
572
00:52:18,042 --> 00:52:20,417
- Yeah.
- Yeah, sure.
573
00:52:20,417 --> 00:52:22,292
It might not be important to you...
574
00:52:22,292 --> 00:52:24,958
But it is to me.
575
00:52:26,583 --> 00:52:28,667
I've never had an orgasm before.
576
00:52:32,250 --> 00:52:34,000
Really?
577
00:52:38,458 --> 00:52:40,000
You're my first one.
578
00:52:42,792 --> 00:52:44,542
You don't know how happy
that makes me.
579
00:52:49,125 --> 00:52:50,333
I love you.
580
00:52:55,625 --> 00:52:57,500
You're my first.
581
00:53:01,958 --> 00:53:03,500
Well, I have to admit,
582
00:53:04,208 --> 00:53:05,958
quite a lot of girls say that.
583
00:53:08,958 --> 00:53:12,042
The train trip
had increased my appetite,
584
00:53:12,042 --> 00:53:14,583
and soon B and I started a club
585
00:53:14,583 --> 00:53:17,292
that we called
"The Little Flock."
586
00:53:18,750 --> 00:53:22,250
Mea vulva, mea maxima vulva.
587
00:53:22,250 --> 00:53:23,625
B, of course, took the lead
588
00:53:23,625 --> 00:53:25,417
as she was the most
daring of us.
589
00:53:26,375 --> 00:53:29,167
She was raised Catholic.
I'm sure you're familiar
590
00:53:29,167 --> 00:53:32,083
with the practices
of the Catholic Church.
591
00:53:32,083 --> 00:53:36,375
...mea maxima vulva.
Mea vulva, mea...
592
00:53:36,375 --> 00:53:38,000
That's interesting.
593
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:41,083
Blasphemic, satanic.
594
00:53:42,583 --> 00:53:46,542
The music. The interval
between "B" and "F."
595
00:53:46,542 --> 00:53:49,292
It's a tritone.
The devil’s interval.
596
00:53:50,458 --> 00:53:52,833
It was banned from music
in the Middle Ages.
597
00:53:54,292 --> 00:53:57,000
Well, the Vacuum Cleaner invented it.
598
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,875
She took piano lessons.
599
00:53:59,708 --> 00:54:01,167
Vacuum Cleaner?
600
00:54:01,167 --> 00:54:05,000
The Vacuum Cleaner possessed
a special talent for floppy cocks.
601
00:54:06,333 --> 00:54:09,125
She had some kind of vacuum
in her cunt.
602
00:54:09,667 --> 00:54:12,000
I was imagining something like that.
603
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,917
Fourteenth of the eighth.
604
00:54:14,917 --> 00:54:17,625
I was at a place called The Donkey.
605
00:54:17,625 --> 00:54:20,833
The boys were staring,
University hangout.
606
00:54:20,833 --> 00:54:22,917
I approached the stupidest
one of the lot
607
00:54:22,917 --> 00:54:25,542
and asked for directions
to the underground.
608
00:54:25,542 --> 00:54:27,333
He studied literature.
609
00:54:27,875 --> 00:54:31,542
I told him I read a lot,
and that I really admired people
610
00:54:31,542 --> 00:54:33,792
that chose to study subjects
in depth.
611
00:54:34,875 --> 00:54:37,167
As I said, he was very stupid.
612
00:54:37,167 --> 00:54:38,958
Told me all about Kierkegaard.
613
00:54:38,958 --> 00:54:40,792
I nodded, smiled.
614
00:54:40,792 --> 00:54:42,417
Then he asked
if we could go elsewhere.
615
00:54:42,417 --> 00:54:46,000
The idiot thought he'd pulled me
after five minutes of his bullshit.
616
00:54:46,583 --> 00:54:48,625
I told him I was on my period,
617
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,667
and I took out his cock
and gave him a hand job.
618
00:54:54,833 --> 00:54:57,750
Ugly, little shriveled cock,
with a tight foreskin.
619
00:54:59,333 --> 00:55:01,292
When I pulled it back,
it sort of collapsed
620
00:55:01,292 --> 00:55:05,417
but it worked in the end.
University boys are disgusting.
621
00:55:05,417 --> 00:55:07,792
And then I jacked him off
until he shook
622
00:55:07,792 --> 00:55:10,833
in that way they do, you know.
Just before they come.
623
00:55:11,625 --> 00:55:13,792
Then I let go of his cock and got up.
624
00:55:13,792 --> 00:55:17,542
I left him standing up against the wall
625
00:55:17,542 --> 00:55:20,958
with his pants round his ankles
looking stunned.
626
00:55:22,917 --> 00:55:26,833
Now, B's message wasn't
exactly representational.
627
00:55:26,833 --> 00:55:29,125
She just had to be the tough one.
628
00:55:31,042 --> 00:55:32,708
It was directed at the men.
629
00:55:33,917 --> 00:55:37,667
It was about fucking,
and about having the right to be horny.
630
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:42,083
We masturbated together,
that kind of thing.
631
00:55:43,667 --> 00:55:45,208
But it was rebellious.
632
00:55:47,750 --> 00:55:49,333
We weren't allowed
to have boyfriends.
633
00:55:49,333 --> 00:55:51,792
No fucking the same guy
more than once.
634
00:55:52,375 --> 00:55:57,083
You said you were rebellious.
What did you rebel against?
635
00:55:57,583 --> 00:55:58,417
Love.
636
00:56:00,458 --> 00:56:01,333
Love?
637
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:05,750
We were committed to combat
the love-fixated society.
638
00:56:25,167 --> 00:56:27,875
I really believed
in our Little Flock.
639
00:56:27,875 --> 00:56:30,417
But of course,
that was naive of me.
640
00:56:31,042 --> 00:56:34,000
Over time, even the strongest
641
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:36,542
couldn't stay true to our manifest.
642
00:56:36,542 --> 00:56:40,625
Third of the fifth.
My third intercourse this week,
643
00:56:40,625 --> 00:56:42,417
- again with Alex.
- Third?
644
00:56:45,125 --> 00:56:48,333
Haven't we stated that
we fuck each guy once?
645
00:56:48,333 --> 00:56:50,917
Yes, but he was rather sweet.
646
00:56:51,875 --> 00:56:52,917
Sweet?
647
00:56:53,750 --> 00:56:56,958
- Well, you know, sexy.
- Well, then, say sexy.
648
00:56:59,083 --> 00:57:00,625
He squeezed my earlobes.
649
00:57:00,625 --> 00:57:03,833
Earlobes? Great.
What else did he squeeze?
650
00:57:06,958 --> 00:57:10,292
I don't think
you can understand Alex.
651
00:57:10,917 --> 00:57:12,500
I don't want to.
652
00:57:12,500 --> 00:57:15,000
- Our relationship--
- Relationship.
653
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:16,167
There you are.
654
00:57:17,333 --> 00:57:21,042
The way you're describing it,
which should be full of lust,
655
00:57:21,042 --> 00:57:24,125
is just a nauseating analysis
of his future abilities
656
00:57:24,125 --> 00:57:26,208
as a father to your child.
657
00:57:26,208 --> 00:57:30,042
You think you know
everything about sex.
658
00:57:33,958 --> 00:57:37,917
The secret ingredient
to sex is love.
659
00:57:43,917 --> 00:57:48,542
For me, love was just lust
with jealousy added.
660
00:57:49,333 --> 00:57:51,542
Everything else was total nonsense.
661
00:57:52,250 --> 00:57:56,542
For every 100 crimes committed
in the name of love,
662
00:57:56,542 --> 00:57:59,167
only one is committed
in the name of sex.
663
00:58:00,792 --> 00:58:02,333
That's quite a statement.
664
00:58:02,333 --> 00:58:06,500
Well, it all strengthened my
wish for a serious education.
665
00:58:31,583 --> 00:58:33,542
Glasgow.
666
00:58:37,208 --> 00:58:38,292
Aberdeen.
667
00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:41,750
Why are you smiling?
668
00:58:42,500 --> 00:58:44,833
Well, I just pictured
669
00:58:44,833 --> 00:58:47,833
how an education would be
conveyed in your storytelling.
670
00:58:49,042 --> 00:58:50,917
Well, that's nothing to smile about.
671
00:58:51,958 --> 00:58:53,417
Oh, I understand that.
672
00:58:55,042 --> 00:58:57,167
So what kind of education
did you get?
673
00:58:58,042 --> 00:59:01,417
I began studying medicine,
like my father.
674
00:59:01,417 --> 00:59:05,542
Today we are going to perform the
procedure that's called an abortion.
675
00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:09,875
We open up our cervical channel
to enter the uterus,
676
00:59:09,875 --> 00:59:12,208
and to get access to the fetus,
677
00:59:12,208 --> 00:59:15,500
for which we use
the so-called Hegal sticks.
678
00:59:15,500 --> 00:59:19,667
We enter the vagina tract,
and go into the cervical channel.
679
00:59:20,708 --> 00:59:22,667
We start with a small sized stick
680
00:59:22,667 --> 00:59:25,958
to cause a minimum of damage
to the tissue.
681
00:59:25,958 --> 00:59:29,417
And then we increase
the size of the stick.
682
00:59:29,417 --> 00:59:32,542
But it was harder and
harder for me to concentrate,
683
00:59:32,542 --> 00:59:36,792
so I studied less and less,
till finally I dropped out.
684
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:42,875
My dad was very disappointed
when I stopped.
685
00:59:43,792 --> 00:59:46,417
But it was the only time
I saw my mother really smile
686
00:59:46,417 --> 00:59:49,417
when she said,
"What did I tell you?"
687
00:59:52,667 --> 00:59:55,208
So instead, I began
to look for a job.
688
00:59:56,875 --> 00:59:59,708
It turned out
it was hard to get a job
689
00:59:59,708 --> 01:00:02,333
that paid even halfway decently.
690
01:00:03,417 --> 01:00:06,750
I didn't really know
how to do anything.
691
01:00:06,750 --> 01:00:09,917
So I didn't have high hopes
when I applied for a position
692
01:00:09,917 --> 01:00:12,583
as an assistant
at a printing house.
693
01:00:13,708 --> 01:00:16,167
So, could you tell me
a little bit more
694
01:00:16,167 --> 01:00:19,333
about your background?
695
01:00:19,333 --> 01:00:21,167
Um...
696
01:00:21,167 --> 01:00:24,625
- Education-wise.
- Oh.
697
01:00:24,625 --> 01:00:29,958
Well, I finished high school,
and decided to study medicine.
698
01:00:30,792 --> 01:00:32,958
But I didn't finish.
699
01:00:32,958 --> 01:00:35,625
I know it sounds a bit
pointless coming here.
700
01:00:35,625 --> 01:00:38,208
- Right.
- I just really need a job.
701
01:00:38,208 --> 01:00:40,292
And I've tried everywhere.
702
01:00:40,292 --> 01:00:43,917
I don't usually give jobs to people
just because they need one.
703
01:00:45,333 --> 01:00:49,958
What about secretarial skills?
Do you have any of those?
704
01:00:49,958 --> 01:00:52,542
No, I didn't think
you needed skills.
705
01:00:54,333 --> 01:00:57,167
You didn't think you needed
skills for this position
706
01:00:57,167 --> 01:00:59,542
- as a secretary?
- No.
707
01:01:00,042 --> 01:01:01,875
Can you open an envelope?
708
01:01:02,500 --> 01:01:05,708
Yes, I... Yes, I think
I can open an envelope.
709
01:01:05,708 --> 01:01:07,708
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
710
01:01:08,958 --> 01:01:13,500
I shall discuss this conversation
with Mr. Jerome, my boss.
711
01:01:16,167 --> 01:01:19,250
Do you think
there's a chance?
712
01:01:20,250 --> 01:01:23,250
- I doubt it.
- Oh.
713
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:47,458
Well, apparently,
having absolutely no experience
714
01:01:48,250 --> 01:01:50,417
is absolutely fine for this job.
715
01:01:50,417 --> 01:01:51,583
You've got it.
716
01:01:54,417 --> 01:01:56,500
Does that mean
I should start tomorrow?
717
01:01:57,375 --> 01:01:58,958
Yeah, I suppose it does.
718
01:02:01,250 --> 01:02:03,208
- Good morning.
- Right.
719
01:02:10,542 --> 01:02:12,792
Yes?
720
01:02:16,083 --> 01:02:18,042
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning.
721
01:02:18,042 --> 01:02:20,667
I just wanted to introduce you
to our new junior secretary.
722
01:02:20,667 --> 01:02:23,542
Joe? I believe you wanted
to explain her work duties.
723
01:02:23,542 --> 01:02:25,208
- Hi.
- This is the new junior secretary.
724
01:02:25,208 --> 01:02:26,833
Liz, can I have another coffee?
725
01:02:26,833 --> 01:02:28,125
- Yes, of course, sir.
- Thank you.
726
01:02:31,500 --> 01:02:32,333
Hi.
727
01:02:36,458 --> 01:02:39,458
- Jerome.
- Your first love.
728
01:02:45,500 --> 01:02:48,167
I bet you didn't think I'd make
something of myself, right?
729
01:02:48,167 --> 01:02:49,792
And now, here I sit.
730
01:02:49,792 --> 01:02:52,000
The director's chair
of M and J Morris, Ltd.
731
01:02:56,333 --> 01:02:58,417
- Yeah, it's quite surprising.
- Surprising?
732
01:02:59,208 --> 01:03:00,750
It's a sign from God.
733
01:03:05,667 --> 01:03:07,500
You know, I've thought
about you often since then.
734
01:03:09,292 --> 01:03:10,958
Have you thought of me?
735
01:03:13,875 --> 01:03:16,125
- Well...
- What?
736
01:03:17,042 --> 01:03:19,667
Usually, you know,
my uncle sits here.
737
01:03:19,667 --> 01:03:21,292
But he's developed a bit
of a tummy problem,
738
01:03:21,292 --> 01:03:23,000
so he's at the spa,
taking long baths,
739
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:26,417
drinking lots of water, poor guy.
And no one knows for how long.
740
01:03:26,417 --> 01:03:29,917
So now I'm the "J"
in M and J Morris, Ltd.
741
01:03:29,917 --> 01:03:31,708
How about that?
742
01:03:31,708 --> 01:03:34,542
We print cards and envelopes,
nonsense like that.
743
01:03:35,375 --> 01:03:37,250
It's a bloody complicated
business, you know.
744
01:03:37,250 --> 01:03:38,667
I don't understand a word of it.
745
01:03:39,917 --> 01:03:42,708
Come, I'll show you around. Yes?
746
01:03:42,708 --> 01:03:44,375
- Ladies?
- Yes, sir.
747
01:03:44,375 --> 01:03:46,583
Oh, look, there you are.
Good job.
748
01:03:46,583 --> 01:03:48,958
Every time you do a good job,
I say, "Good job, Liz."
749
01:03:48,958 --> 01:03:50,792
- Thank you, sir.
- What's her name?
750
01:03:50,792 --> 01:03:52,625
- Liz.
- Good job, Liz.
751
01:03:52,625 --> 01:03:54,667
- Good job, Liz.
- Good job, Liz.
752
01:04:13,542 --> 01:04:15,250
It stopped.
753
01:04:15,250 --> 01:04:16,667
Fuck.
754
01:04:20,208 --> 01:04:21,250
Yes.
755
01:04:23,208 --> 01:04:25,667
- Well, isn't there an alarm?
- Which?
756
01:04:26,333 --> 01:04:28,750
- Isn't there...
- Alarm, right, yes.
757
01:04:28,750 --> 01:04:31,500
Good thinking.
758
01:04:34,958 --> 01:04:36,042
Imagine...
759
01:04:36,958 --> 01:04:39,375
you look just as great
all these years later.
760
01:04:39,917 --> 01:04:41,042
Oh, no.
761
01:04:45,250 --> 01:04:47,708
- No.
- No?
762
01:04:49,917 --> 01:04:51,542
No, Jerome, this won't work.
763
01:04:51,542 --> 01:04:54,125
- Which won't work?
- This.
764
01:04:56,833 --> 01:04:57,875
Why not?
765
01:04:59,042 --> 01:05:00,417
You're not really my type.
766
01:05:03,083 --> 01:05:04,250
That's how it's gonna be?
767
01:05:05,042 --> 01:05:07,000
- Yes.
- All right.
768
01:05:13,625 --> 01:05:14,875
Fuck's sake.
769
01:05:24,708 --> 01:05:25,667
Okay.
770
01:05:35,667 --> 01:05:37,333
Um...
771
01:05:37,333 --> 01:05:38,583
Give me your hand.
772
01:05:39,667 --> 01:05:41,708
We'll do fireman's grip.
773
01:05:43,750 --> 01:05:45,250
- You okay?
- Yeah.
774
01:05:48,583 --> 01:05:50,042
Why didn't you
have sex with him?
775
01:05:52,208 --> 01:05:54,500
You must have had sex
in a lift before.
776
01:05:56,708 --> 01:06:00,667
I'm not quite sure.
I've shagged lots of idiots.
777
01:06:00,667 --> 01:06:03,292
Including worse idiots than him.
778
01:06:05,458 --> 01:06:07,042
Of course, I...
779
01:06:07,042 --> 01:06:10,042
I regretted that it had
been him back then.
780
01:06:11,083 --> 01:06:13,750
But that's just sentimental drivel.
781
01:06:13,750 --> 01:06:15,042
And I'm not sentimental.
782
01:06:16,333 --> 01:06:18,292
I suppose he fired you then.
783
01:06:18,292 --> 01:06:21,708
No. If he had fired me,
then he would have lost.
784
01:06:25,042 --> 01:06:26,792
As I didn't recall anyone
785
01:06:26,792 --> 01:06:28,667
having defined my work duties,
786
01:06:28,667 --> 01:06:32,417
I decided to clean up in order
to smooth the waters.
787
01:06:40,292 --> 01:06:41,667
Good morning, sir.
788
01:06:41,667 --> 01:06:43,667
- Any calls?
- No, sir.
789
01:06:50,083 --> 01:06:53,958
- What have you done?
- Oh. I cleaned up.
790
01:06:54,500 --> 01:06:56,250
You cleaned up.
791
01:06:57,333 --> 01:06:58,917
- It was quite messy, and--
- Liz?
792
01:06:58,917 --> 01:07:01,750
- Yes, sir?
- She cleaned up.
793
01:07:02,375 --> 01:07:04,667
I know, I... I didn't know, sir.
794
01:07:04,667 --> 01:07:06,792
- I was away from my desk.
- Are you completely mad?
795
01:07:13,667 --> 01:07:15,708
What is the tea
and pastry doing here?
796
01:07:16,375 --> 01:07:17,667
I thought that's
what you wanted for--
797
01:07:17,667 --> 01:07:20,958
You thought?
You're not supposed to think.
798
01:07:20,958 --> 01:07:23,375
I don't pay you to think, do I?
This is a do-over.
799
01:07:23,375 --> 01:07:24,917
- A do-over...
- Right.
800
01:07:24,917 --> 01:07:27,667
Pick it up. Take it outside.
And do it again.
801
01:07:40,083 --> 01:07:42,333
One moment.
802
01:07:50,708 --> 01:07:52,000
Come in.
803
01:07:55,208 --> 01:07:57,500
Would now be a good time
for some tea and cake?
804
01:07:57,500 --> 01:07:58,792
Sure, why not?
805
01:08:01,708 --> 01:08:03,458
Where the fuck's my cake fork?
806
01:08:03,458 --> 01:08:05,375
- Cake fork?
- Right.
807
01:08:05,375 --> 01:08:09,917
Well, I would have got you one,
but it just... feels inappropriate.
808
01:08:27,542 --> 01:08:29,500
Unmanly.
809
01:08:29,500 --> 01:08:30,958
Feminine.
810
01:08:30,958 --> 01:08:32,917
Well, on the other hand,
811
01:08:32,917 --> 01:08:37,000
you must say that a cake fork
is a rather practical tool.
812
01:08:38,917 --> 01:08:42,208
It's like a cross between
a knife and a fork.
813
01:08:42,833 --> 01:08:45,000
The point is that you're
supposed to be able
814
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,000
to hold the cake dish
with one hand
815
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:48,667
and then cut it with the other.
816
01:08:49,375 --> 01:08:52,875
And then eat it with the fork.
817
01:08:52,875 --> 01:08:55,750
It's not feminine,
it's at least bourgeois.
818
01:08:56,667 --> 01:08:59,125
It's said that the Bolsheviks,
819
01:08:59,125 --> 01:09:01,333
during their rampage
through Russia,
820
01:09:01,333 --> 01:09:03,042
to separate the men from the boys,
821
01:09:03,042 --> 01:09:05,958
or rather the bourgeoisie
from the proletariat,
822
01:09:05,958 --> 01:09:09,125
they brought a boy,
and before burning down a house
823
01:09:09,125 --> 01:09:12,667
they sent him in to make sure
they had cake forks.
824
01:09:17,417 --> 01:09:20,333
That's not true.
825
01:09:22,667 --> 01:09:24,875
I don't have the story first-hand.
826
01:09:24,875 --> 01:09:26,167
Hello.
827
01:09:27,083 --> 01:09:28,958
- Hi.
- Hi.
828
01:09:28,958 --> 01:09:31,458
I was wondering
if you could help me.
829
01:09:31,458 --> 01:09:35,083
It's suddenly gone very dirty.
See, yes?
830
01:09:35,083 --> 01:09:38,625
See, you've got your dirty
fingers on there.
831
01:09:38,625 --> 01:09:40,708
Maybe we should
wash your hands.
832
01:09:40,708 --> 01:09:42,208
Yeah, better.
833
01:09:44,708 --> 01:09:46,417
Mm-hmm.
834
01:09:46,417 --> 01:09:49,167
- You must be very talented.
- Yeah, sure.
835
01:09:49,167 --> 01:09:49,917
Hmm.
836
01:09:50,667 --> 01:09:53,542
You see, here's got a stain.
837
01:10:05,625 --> 01:10:07,417
If you'd asked
Jerome, he would have said
838
01:10:07,417 --> 01:10:09,542
that I was the one
who'd declared war.
839
01:10:12,083 --> 01:10:16,292
Many times he'd take me into town
just so I could hold his coat.
840
01:10:17,167 --> 01:10:19,333
- There.
- Where?
841
01:10:19,333 --> 01:10:21,292
There, behind the green car.
842
01:10:23,875 --> 01:10:26,250
- It's not big enough.
- It is, there's plenty of space.
843
01:10:29,583 --> 01:10:31,667
I saw it, it's not enough space.
844
01:10:31,667 --> 01:10:33,917
I'm telling you,
there's plenty of space.
845
01:10:46,667 --> 01:10:50,042
No. It's too small a space
for such a long car.
846
01:10:52,917 --> 01:10:54,500
Can I try?
847
01:10:56,125 --> 01:10:59,542
- Can you try?
- I'm a wizard at this.
848
01:10:59,542 --> 01:11:01,083
I just tried, it's not enough space, Joe.
849
01:11:01,083 --> 01:11:03,792
You just saw me do it.
It's not enough space, okay?
850
01:11:04,667 --> 01:11:07,625
- Can I try?
- Fuck. You want to try?
851
01:11:10,208 --> 01:11:11,333
Why not?
852
01:11:26,250 --> 01:11:27,625
Stupid.
853
01:12:06,625 --> 01:12:09,917
It was about
this time that a dramatic change
854
01:12:09,917 --> 01:12:11,833
happened inside of me.
855
01:12:13,250 --> 01:12:17,792
I could suddenly see a kind
of order in the mess.
856
01:12:29,250 --> 01:12:31,458
Are you just standing here looking?
857
01:12:34,250 --> 01:12:36,958
Yeah. I've begun to like his mess.
858
01:12:37,750 --> 01:12:39,375
How do you mean?
859
01:12:40,792 --> 01:12:43,750
Well, these are all things
placed by Jerome.
860
01:12:44,417 --> 01:12:46,292
I mean, by Jerome's hands.
861
01:12:47,167 --> 01:12:50,750
Sounds to me like you would like
to be handled by Mr. Jerome.
862
01:12:52,625 --> 01:12:54,875
Darling, you're in love with him.
863
01:12:59,833 --> 01:13:02,208
It was all very, very wrong.
864
01:13:03,625 --> 01:13:06,208
I wanted to be one of Jerome's things.
865
01:13:07,042 --> 01:13:11,708
I wanted to be picked up
and put down, again and again.
866
01:13:13,083 --> 01:13:15,667
I wanted to be
treated by his hands
867
01:13:15,667 --> 01:13:18,792
according to some
sophisticated principle
868
01:13:18,792 --> 01:13:20,875
that I didn't understand.
869
01:13:21,458 --> 01:13:23,250
His strong hands?
870
01:13:23,250 --> 01:13:27,208
Yes, but now it was no longer
just about his hands.
871
01:13:27,208 --> 01:13:30,458
It's as if everything
about him was different,
872
01:13:31,292 --> 01:13:34,500
which, of course, it wasn't
and I knew that in my head.
873
01:13:34,500 --> 01:13:38,208
And I scolded myself
for seeing him in this new light.
874
01:13:39,167 --> 01:13:43,208
- Love is blind.
- No, no, no, it's worse.
875
01:13:44,250 --> 01:13:46,042
Love distorts things.
876
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:49,917
Or even worse...
love is something
877
01:13:49,917 --> 01:13:51,583
you've never asked for.
878
01:13:53,083 --> 01:13:57,417
The erotic was something I asked for,
or even demanded of men.
879
01:13:57,417 --> 01:14:00,167
But this idiotic love...
880
01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:04,042
I felt humiliated by it,
881
01:14:04,708 --> 01:14:07,417
and all the dishonesty that follows.
882
01:14:09,958 --> 01:14:12,250
The erotic is about saying yes.
883
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:17,167
Love appeals to
the lowest instincts,
884
01:14:17,167 --> 01:14:19,083
wrapped up in lies.
885
01:14:19,833 --> 01:14:23,667
How do you say "yes"
when you mean "no," and vice versa.
886
01:14:27,458 --> 01:14:29,792
I'm ashamed of what I became.
887
01:14:31,083 --> 01:14:32,792
But it was beyond my control.
888
01:14:34,958 --> 01:14:39,208
- You know what you're doing now?
- No, what am I doing?
889
01:14:39,750 --> 01:14:42,000
You're defending your personality.
890
01:14:42,792 --> 01:14:45,125
I thought the point was to reveal it.
891
01:14:57,250 --> 01:15:01,417
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
892
01:15:03,667 --> 01:15:05,292
Thank you meaning, "That's all."
893
01:15:09,042 --> 01:15:12,542
You can go now.
Goodbye, Joe.
894
01:15:26,708 --> 01:15:30,292
At this time,
I took up walking again.
895
01:15:30,292 --> 01:15:31,875
You walked in the forest?
896
01:15:31,875 --> 01:15:34,333
Yes, I walked in the forest.
897
01:15:39,708 --> 01:15:42,292
The forest of my childhood.
898
01:15:43,500 --> 01:15:46,542
I took the same walk
again and again.
899
01:15:47,125 --> 01:15:50,167
Right turn after the gatehouse,
900
01:15:50,167 --> 01:15:53,042
and right again by the ash tree,
901
01:15:53,042 --> 01:15:55,750
which has the most beautiful leaves
in the forest,
902
01:15:57,458 --> 01:16:01,167
and further on,
past a lady with her poodle,
903
01:16:01,167 --> 01:16:03,917
and the old man on the bench.
904
01:16:11,250 --> 01:16:14,500
I couldn't free myself
of the image of Jerome
905
01:16:14,500 --> 01:16:16,458
and his careless elegance.
906
01:16:21,875 --> 01:16:26,375
And during this time,
when I was with other men,
907
01:16:27,167 --> 01:16:30,542
I forbade them to touch
my body with their hands.
908
01:16:34,167 --> 01:16:37,833
And soon, I stopped
having sex altogether.
909
01:16:39,958 --> 01:16:42,292
I tried to meet him all the time.
910
01:16:42,833 --> 01:16:45,042
I found out where he lived,
911
01:16:45,708 --> 01:16:48,417
but of course,
never dared ring his doorbell.
912
01:16:52,042 --> 01:16:55,375
I even started humiliating
myself on purpose
913
01:16:55,375 --> 01:16:57,500
in order for him to notice me.
914
01:17:17,750 --> 01:17:19,667
You broke a taillight.
915
01:17:21,250 --> 01:17:22,333
I did.
916
01:17:23,708 --> 01:17:25,917
I thought you were such
a wizard at parking.
917
01:17:27,000 --> 01:17:28,167
So did I.
918
01:17:29,167 --> 01:17:31,125
It'll be deducted from your salary.
919
01:17:34,583 --> 01:17:36,083
It's a long car.
920
01:17:39,750 --> 01:17:42,625
I worked for
a long time on a letter
921
01:17:42,625 --> 01:17:45,583
in which I told him about
my feelings for him,
922
01:17:45,583 --> 01:17:48,375
but couldn't bring myself
to hand it over.
923
01:17:51,125 --> 01:17:52,875
- Bye.
- Bye. Bye.
924
01:17:53,542 --> 01:17:55,125
A month would pass
925
01:17:55,125 --> 01:17:59,000
before I had built up
enough courage to deliver it.
926
01:18:24,125 --> 01:18:26,375
Well, I've written him
a letter after all.
927
01:18:28,292 --> 01:18:31,583
Do you think that the letter
is a bad idea?
928
01:18:34,333 --> 01:18:37,125
No, I think it's
the right thing to do.
929
01:18:37,125 --> 01:18:42,500
I'm just... I think maybe
you should wait until Friday.
930
01:18:42,500 --> 01:18:43,625
Why?
931
01:18:44,583 --> 01:18:46,667
He's always in a good mood
on Fridays.
932
01:18:48,042 --> 01:18:49,208
Okay.
933
01:19:08,792 --> 01:19:12,917
I'm sorry, isn't this...
Jerome's office?
934
01:19:12,917 --> 01:19:16,750
I'm happy to say that this
never has been
935
01:19:16,750 --> 01:19:19,042
and never will be Jerome's office.
936
01:19:19,542 --> 01:19:23,625
My nephew has been standing in for me
while I've been unwell.
937
01:19:24,125 --> 01:19:27,125
What's that? A letter for him?
938
01:19:28,333 --> 01:19:29,292
Yes.
939
01:19:29,292 --> 01:19:32,417
Give it to me
and I'll make sure he gets it.
940
01:19:37,042 --> 01:19:40,958
Can't promise when that might be
because he's long gone.
941
01:19:42,208 --> 01:19:45,708
How the young finance
their irrepressible desire
942
01:19:45,708 --> 01:19:47,458
for travel is a mystery to me.
943
01:19:48,500 --> 01:19:51,542
- So he's gone?
- Deserted us, yes.
944
01:19:53,000 --> 01:19:55,375
Raving about a trip around the world,
945
01:19:55,375 --> 01:19:57,750
- and married, and all.
- Married?
946
01:19:58,375 --> 01:19:59,583
Marriage, yes.
947
01:20:00,667 --> 01:20:03,000
Flown the coop with my secretary.
948
01:20:04,000 --> 01:20:04,875
Liz.
949
01:20:13,083 --> 01:20:14,667
And your job?
950
01:20:15,167 --> 01:20:17,500
Well, it turned out
that Jerome's uncle
951
01:20:17,500 --> 01:20:21,167
demanded a bit more knowledge
about the business, so...
952
01:20:21,167 --> 01:20:22,000
I see.
953
01:20:23,333 --> 01:20:25,875
Well, as for evidence of you
being a bad human being,
954
01:20:25,875 --> 01:20:28,042
there wasn't much to go on
in this chapter.
955
01:20:28,042 --> 01:20:32,167
Yes, as I said.
At least superficially.
956
01:20:33,583 --> 01:20:36,708
- I suppose you were jealous.
- No, I wasn't jealous.
957
01:20:36,708 --> 01:20:38,042
I didn't know that feeling.
958
01:20:39,542 --> 01:20:42,167
It's almost superhuman
not to feel jealousy.
959
01:20:43,667 --> 01:20:45,583
Well, that was the end of love, then?
960
01:20:47,583 --> 01:20:50,375
Well, maybe not quite as simple.
961
01:20:51,958 --> 01:20:57,125
But more about that later,
as they say in the novels.
962
01:20:57,125 --> 01:20:59,792
And Jerome just disappeared?
963
01:21:01,083 --> 01:21:06,167
Yes. Though I'd tried to keep him
in my own way, mentally,
964
01:21:06,167 --> 01:21:09,833
as I masturbated on the train
amongst other people.
965
01:21:12,167 --> 01:21:14,417
You masturbated on the train,
on the seat?
966
01:21:14,417 --> 01:21:17,500
- Yes, of course.
- And that's possible?
967
01:21:17,500 --> 01:21:21,583
Easily.
You just put your coat in your lap.
968
01:21:21,583 --> 01:21:25,958
It can be done silently
without expression.
969
01:21:25,958 --> 01:21:28,000
The only thing
that could give me away
970
01:21:28,000 --> 01:21:31,958
and mostly to women,
was my open mouth when I came.
971
01:21:46,292 --> 01:21:49,000
I did a jigsaw puzzle.
972
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:51,000
Ajigsaw puzzle?
973
01:21:55,167 --> 01:21:58,333
I found details
in the other passengers
974
01:21:58,333 --> 01:22:00,500
that reminded me of Jerome.
975
01:22:55,292 --> 01:22:57,083
But in the long run,
976
01:22:57,083 --> 01:22:59,417
I couldn't hold onto
the details of him,
977
01:22:59,417 --> 01:23:01,792
no matter how hard I tried.
978
01:23:02,708 --> 01:23:04,500
So, you could say that in a way,
979
01:23:04,500 --> 01:23:08,167
Jerome followed you
as a kind of silhouette.
980
01:23:08,167 --> 01:23:11,875
Yes, but gradually disappearing
as a sexual being.
981
01:23:11,875 --> 01:23:17,083
Maybe that's how it is with memory.
You remember silhouettes.
982
01:23:17,083 --> 01:23:18,958
The essentials.
983
01:23:18,958 --> 01:23:21,833
But that's not necessarily
a bad thing.
984
01:23:26,042 --> 01:23:28,292
Of course
there's silhouettes in the winter.
985
01:23:28,292 --> 01:23:30,583
The trees are difficult
to tell apart.
986
01:23:30,583 --> 01:23:32,167
These buds...
987
01:23:32,167 --> 01:23:34,083
My father
wrestled courageously
988
01:23:34,083 --> 01:23:37,083
with his flora
and tree type guides.
989
01:23:38,833 --> 01:23:40,208
It's actually...
990
01:23:42,417 --> 01:23:46,083
the souls of the trees
we see in the winter.
991
01:23:46,708 --> 01:23:48,500
In summer, everything's
green and idyllic,
992
01:23:48,500 --> 01:23:53,333
but in the winter, the branches
and the trunks, they all stand out.
993
01:23:53,333 --> 01:23:55,542
Look at how crooked they all are.
994
01:23:57,500 --> 01:24:00,542
The branches have to carry
all of the leaves into the sunlight.
995
01:24:02,083 --> 01:24:05,000
It's one long struggle for survival.
996
01:24:08,250 --> 01:24:11,292
My father surprised
me by calling the naked trunks
997
01:24:11,292 --> 01:24:13,500
the souls of the trees.
998
01:24:14,250 --> 01:24:17,083
A poetic thought
that was rare for him,
999
01:24:17,083 --> 01:24:20,708
as by his own account, he preferred
the empirical sciences.
1000
01:24:24,500 --> 01:24:26,000
And after Jerome?
1001
01:24:27,375 --> 01:24:30,083
I reacted, um...
1002
01:24:30,083 --> 01:24:33,417
Well, let's just say... aggressively.
1003
01:24:34,500 --> 01:24:39,000
- How?
- By intensifying my hunt for men.
1004
01:24:41,833 --> 01:24:43,958
You know
these supermarket doors
1005
01:24:43,958 --> 01:24:46,875
that open and close by way
of some kind of sensor?
1006
01:24:47,708 --> 01:24:50,542
Now compare these doors
to my cunt,
1007
01:24:50,542 --> 01:24:53,792
and add an extraordinarily
sensitive sensor.
1008
01:24:55,958 --> 01:24:59,792
My sensitive door opening
gave me an opportunity
1009
01:24:59,792 --> 01:25:04,542
to develop my morphological studies
from knees to genitals.
1010
01:25:09,625 --> 01:25:14,625
I embarked on a trip through, what,
in the lingo of children's books,
1011
01:25:14,625 --> 01:25:18,417
one might call, "The Country
of the Big, Bad Cocks."
1012
01:25:21,042 --> 01:25:24,958
"The Country of the Small
Yellow Cocks," and so on.
1013
01:25:25,708 --> 01:25:27,958
And most of all, I battled my way
1014
01:25:27,958 --> 01:25:30,750
through an untold number
of circumcised cocks.
1015
01:25:32,625 --> 01:25:35,542
By the way, did you know
that if you combine
1016
01:25:35,542 --> 01:25:38,292
all the foreskin cut off
through history,
1017
01:25:38,292 --> 01:25:41,250
it would reach to Mars
and back again?
1018
01:26:00,458 --> 01:26:01,875
"Mrs. H."
1019
01:26:17,458 --> 01:26:20,542
By now, I had
built up a sizable circle of men,
1020
01:26:20,542 --> 01:26:24,375
and was starting to have trouble
remembering who was who.
1021
01:26:24,375 --> 01:26:26,417
Hello, sweetheart.
Want to meet?
1022
01:26:26,417 --> 01:26:28,125
It's Fisher.
1023
01:26:28,125 --> 01:26:31,083
I'm lying here thinking
of you and what you said.
1024
01:26:31,083 --> 01:26:33,250
I'm not angry at all if that's
what you're thinking.
1025
01:26:33,250 --> 01:26:35,792
Hi, Joe. It's Rob again.
1026
01:26:35,792 --> 01:26:37,500
I had a really
good time seeing you.
1027
01:26:37,500 --> 01:26:39,042
Give me a... Give me a call.
1028
01:26:39,042 --> 01:26:41,125
Hi, Joe.
1029
01:26:41,125 --> 01:26:43,542
I left a couple of messages.
Is everything all right?
1030
01:26:43,542 --> 01:26:46,250
I quickly gave up
trying to remember
1031
01:26:46,250 --> 01:26:50,958
the individual relationships.
It was impossible.
1032
01:26:50,958 --> 01:26:54,333
And impossible to predict
what they wanted to hear.
1033
01:26:55,667 --> 01:26:57,542
So I invented a method.
1034
01:27:01,083 --> 01:27:03,458
It was all based on chance.
1035
01:27:06,958 --> 01:27:09,917
A one meant
an overly loving answer.
1036
01:27:13,375 --> 01:27:16,542
A two, not quite as passionate,
but still positive.
1037
01:27:17,333 --> 01:27:20,625
And so on, up to five,
which was a complete rejection.
1038
01:27:20,625 --> 01:27:23,417
And six, no answer at all.
1039
01:27:26,083 --> 01:27:30,125
The trick with this method
was that I didn't have to worry about
1040
01:27:30,125 --> 01:27:32,208
the individual relationships,
1041
01:27:32,208 --> 01:27:35,417
but instead became
completely unpredictable,
1042
01:27:35,417 --> 01:27:38,542
which, of course,
drove the men even wilder.
1043
01:27:40,667 --> 01:27:42,417
Hey, Eddie, it's me.
1044
01:27:42,417 --> 01:27:44,292
Listen, I've given this
a lot of thought,
1045
01:27:44,292 --> 01:27:47,375
and I've come to the conclusion
that we're done. Bye.
1046
01:27:48,708 --> 01:27:51,792
I was just wondering
if you wanted to come back,
1047
01:27:51,792 --> 01:27:54,000
and maybe we can
do something nice.
1048
01:27:54,000 --> 01:27:56,750
Hi, Patrick, it's Joe.
1049
01:27:56,750 --> 01:28:00,375
I had a really lovely time with you,
and I'd love for you to come back.
1050
01:28:00,375 --> 01:28:03,708
If you're interested,
let me know. Bye.
1051
01:28:03,708 --> 01:28:07,583
I really don't think we match,
and you're quite annoying,
1052
01:28:08,500 --> 01:28:12,000
so I don't want to see you anymore.
Please don't call back.
1053
01:28:13,042 --> 01:28:15,125
That sounds rather stressful.
1054
01:28:15,125 --> 01:28:17,125
Yes, actually, it was.
1055
01:28:17,125 --> 01:28:21,000
But fortunately, I had
my little book of comfort.
1056
01:28:22,708 --> 01:28:28,375
When I needed comfort or peace,
I took out my herbarium
1057
01:28:28,375 --> 01:28:30,417
and looked at my favorite leaves.
1058
01:28:30,417 --> 01:28:34,792
Ash, trembling aspen and lime.
1059
01:28:42,875 --> 01:28:45,292
When you're dealing
with a larger group of lovers
1060
01:28:45,292 --> 01:28:50,167
as I was, there will typically be
a difference in their qualities.
1061
01:28:50,167 --> 01:28:52,500
H was a sticky bastard.
1062
01:28:52,500 --> 01:28:56,667
I had invited A for dinner,
as he was my favorite,
1063
01:28:56,667 --> 01:29:01,000
while H, who was present,
had become quite irritating.
1064
01:29:01,000 --> 01:29:03,333
You have to leave.
I've got guests for dinner.
1065
01:29:03,333 --> 01:29:05,000
But he's not coming until seven.
1066
01:29:06,208 --> 01:29:09,417
No. But seven isn't that far away.
1067
01:29:17,917 --> 01:29:19,542
Do you love me?
1068
01:29:22,125 --> 01:29:24,917
A was to arrive at seven,
1069
01:29:24,917 --> 01:29:27,583
and I needed to get H
out of there.
1070
01:29:30,417 --> 01:29:31,833
I love you too much.
1071
01:29:33,583 --> 01:29:36,792
You keep promising,
but I understand now
1072
01:29:36,792 --> 01:29:40,292
that you'll never leave
your family for my sake.
1073
01:29:42,375 --> 01:29:44,125
It's sad, but...
1074
01:29:46,208 --> 01:29:47,333
it's your choice.
1075
01:29:49,208 --> 01:29:52,375
It's not satisfying for me that
I can't have you completely.
1076
01:29:56,042 --> 01:29:58,625
Which is why we can't
see each other any longer.
1077
01:30:03,375 --> 01:30:04,375
Goodbye.
1078
01:30:08,958 --> 01:30:09,917
Look...
1079
01:30:15,125 --> 01:30:17,083
Have a nice life.
1080
01:30:43,125 --> 01:30:46,125
My darling, I'm yours.
1081
01:30:46,875 --> 01:30:48,083
I've left her.
1082
01:30:56,375 --> 01:30:59,250
- Has he gone inside?
- Yes.
1083
01:31:00,667 --> 01:31:02,375
Is the door closed?
1084
01:31:14,458 --> 01:31:16,958
- Uh, hello.
- Hello.
1085
01:31:16,958 --> 01:31:20,000
Apologize. We, uh...
1086
01:31:20,000 --> 01:31:22,667
had promised not to come up.
1087
01:31:22,667 --> 01:31:25,583
We just wanted to...
1088
01:31:25,583 --> 01:31:29,083
make sure he got here safely,
now that he's...
1089
01:31:29,083 --> 01:31:30,583
made the big decision.
1090
01:31:32,083 --> 01:31:36,000
May the children see him inside?
1091
01:31:36,000 --> 01:31:38,792
They say that the experience
of saying goodbye
1092
01:31:38,792 --> 01:31:41,708
can be very useful later
when dealing with trauma.
1093
01:31:58,708 --> 01:31:59,958
What a nice place.
1094
01:32:01,500 --> 01:32:04,375
It's, uh... so bohemian.
1095
01:32:05,958 --> 01:32:08,292
We used to have a place
like this before we were...
1096
01:32:08,292 --> 01:32:10,167
we were married.
1097
01:32:10,167 --> 01:32:13,583
Before the children,
me and my husband.
1098
01:32:15,000 --> 01:32:19,125
Oh, I'm sorry.
He isn't anymore, is he?
1099
01:32:19,958 --> 01:32:22,458
It's all so new and confusing.
1100
01:32:27,125 --> 01:32:30,167
He wanted to give us
everything, but, uh...
1101
01:32:31,375 --> 01:32:33,375
Of course we couldn't accept that.
1102
01:32:35,667 --> 01:32:37,125
Oh, that's right.
1103
01:32:38,000 --> 01:32:41,000
- You need the car key.
- No, I don't need the car.
1104
01:32:41,000 --> 01:32:43,042
Oh, yes, you do.
1105
01:32:43,042 --> 01:32:44,500
He likes the car.
1106
01:32:46,042 --> 01:32:47,708
Here.
1107
01:32:47,708 --> 01:32:49,750
- Please, just take it.
- I don't want it.
1108
01:32:49,750 --> 01:32:52,417
- Just take it.
- I don't want the fucking car!
1109
01:32:56,333 --> 01:33:00,042
It's all right.
We'll get the bus home.
1110
01:33:00,750 --> 01:33:03,708
Children might as well get used
to public transport now, right?
1111
01:33:04,917 --> 01:33:08,625
Of course, their standard of living
won't be the same anymore, but...
1112
01:33:13,083 --> 01:33:15,292
I'm not saying that
to bother anyone.
1113
01:33:16,333 --> 01:33:17,875
One has to be realistic.
1114
01:33:22,167 --> 01:33:23,375
Hey.
1115
01:33:25,583 --> 01:33:26,917
What's this?
1116
01:33:26,917 --> 01:33:28,792
It's a present.
1117
01:33:29,708 --> 01:33:32,875
A pillow he has embroidered himself.
1118
01:33:34,500 --> 01:33:36,292
- And who's it for?
- Daddy.
1119
01:33:38,375 --> 01:33:40,625
I do hope it's all right
if the children
1120
01:33:40,625 --> 01:33:42,125
call their father "Daddy" here.
1121
01:33:42,125 --> 01:33:45,833
If you prefer, they can call him...
1122
01:33:45,833 --> 01:33:49,958
"him," or simply, "the man."
1123
01:33:49,958 --> 01:33:52,500
Whatever.
1124
01:33:56,458 --> 01:33:58,083
"Whatever."
1125
01:33:59,333 --> 01:34:01,708
Must be hard when
you've got everything,
1126
01:34:02,625 --> 01:34:04,125
to know what to say.
1127
01:34:05,292 --> 01:34:07,292
To be honest,
my first thought was never,
1128
01:34:07,292 --> 01:34:09,458
ever to let either
of you see the children,
1129
01:34:09,458 --> 01:34:11,875
but then I changed my mind.
1130
01:34:11,875 --> 01:34:14,417
I thought it only right that
their father be confronted
1131
01:34:14,417 --> 01:34:16,875
by the little people
whose lives he's destroyed.
1132
01:34:19,000 --> 01:34:20,750
Give Daddy your present.
1133
01:34:24,458 --> 01:34:27,583
It's a car the little dear
has embroidered.
1134
01:34:29,542 --> 01:34:32,417
I'm aware that
not everyone can see it, but...
1135
01:34:32,417 --> 01:34:35,250
with the heart one can see much,
1136
01:34:35,250 --> 01:34:38,542
however unimportant that
information may be to you.
1137
01:34:40,458 --> 01:34:45,167
Would it be all right if I show
the children the whoring bed?
1138
01:34:45,167 --> 01:34:49,583
After all, they also had
a stake in this event.
1139
01:34:53,333 --> 01:34:55,375
You need to see it.
Right?
1140
01:34:56,417 --> 01:34:58,250
Let's go see
Daddy's favorite place.
1141
01:34:59,375 --> 01:35:01,500
Come on, boys.
1142
01:35:02,917 --> 01:35:04,792
Oh!
1143
01:35:07,125 --> 01:35:11,167
So this is where it all happened.
1144
01:35:17,667 --> 01:35:20,625
You should try to
memorize this room.
1145
01:35:21,292 --> 01:35:23,333
Especially the bed.
1146
01:35:23,958 --> 01:35:26,792
It'll stand you in good stead
later in therapy.
1147
01:35:26,792 --> 01:35:28,333
Oh.
1148
01:35:28,333 --> 01:35:30,917
Here I sit rambling on about therapy
1149
01:35:30,917 --> 01:35:33,083
without a thought
of what it might cost.
1150
01:35:33,083 --> 01:35:36,125
I do hope you don't think
we're here to beg.
1151
01:35:39,958 --> 01:35:41,542
I'm sorry.
1152
01:35:41,542 --> 01:35:43,917
I'm sorry.
1153
01:35:43,917 --> 01:35:46,500
Being silly. Mommy's being silly.
1154
01:35:47,167 --> 01:35:49,583
Let's have a cup of tea.
1155
01:36:08,292 --> 01:36:10,583
Hope it's not too weak.
1156
01:36:10,583 --> 01:36:13,292
Afraid I'm rather nervous.
1157
01:36:19,500 --> 01:36:23,250
The children's father likes
two lumps of sugar in his tea.
1158
01:36:41,583 --> 01:36:43,417
Mm-mm.
I'll get it.
1159
01:36:43,417 --> 01:36:45,625
Mm-mm.
- No, no, please, please.
1160
01:36:47,750 --> 01:36:50,333
- Hello.
- Hello.
1161
01:36:50,333 --> 01:36:52,333
- Yes?
- Uh...
1162
01:36:52,333 --> 01:36:54,875
How nice. Lovely.
1163
01:36:54,875 --> 01:36:58,375
- Boys, come here.
- Is Joe here?
1164
01:36:58,375 --> 01:36:59,542
This might be interesting.
1165
01:37:01,792 --> 01:37:03,125
- This is my son.
- Yes.
1166
01:37:03,125 --> 01:37:04,875
- Yes.
- Hello, hello.
1167
01:37:04,875 --> 01:37:07,500
- Look him in the eyes.
- I'm Andy. Hello.
1168
01:37:07,500 --> 01:37:09,542
- Friend of Joe's then?
- Yeah.
1169
01:37:09,542 --> 01:37:13,167
- You known each other long?
- Uh... Not that long, no.
1170
01:37:13,167 --> 01:37:15,000
- Not very long?
- No.
1171
01:37:15,000 --> 01:37:15,833
Oh.
1172
01:37:23,750 --> 01:37:26,000
A menage-a-trois.
1173
01:37:28,167 --> 01:37:30,333
It's all so exotic.
1174
01:37:30,333 --> 01:37:33,125
So broad-minded.
1175
01:37:34,833 --> 01:37:38,542
On that point... I failed.
1176
01:37:39,542 --> 01:37:40,875
No doubt about it.
1177
01:37:43,417 --> 01:37:47,333
Boys, now is the time to be alert,
1178
01:37:47,333 --> 01:37:50,833
and ask all the questions
your heart's desire.
1179
01:37:52,333 --> 01:37:54,917
Because...
1180
01:37:54,917 --> 01:37:58,208
I hope that you shall
never have to encounter
1181
01:37:58,208 --> 01:38:01,417
such people or be in such
a situation ever again.
1182
01:38:03,417 --> 01:38:06,958
Well, hmm?
You don't have any questions?
1183
01:38:07,917 --> 01:38:09,208
No?
1184
01:38:11,750 --> 01:38:14,542
Well, I'll start, shall I?
1185
01:38:14,542 --> 01:38:17,208
Approximately, how many lives...
1186
01:38:17,208 --> 01:38:20,625
do you think she has time
to destroy in one day?
1187
01:38:20,625 --> 01:38:23,708
Five? 50?
1188
01:38:24,833 --> 01:38:26,833
Or several hundreds?
1189
01:38:27,958 --> 01:38:31,000
I admit the latter sounds improbable,
1190
01:38:31,000 --> 01:38:34,833
but where there's a will
there's a way.
1191
01:38:43,125 --> 01:38:46,708
Look, this is just
a big misunderstanding.
1192
01:38:51,667 --> 01:38:53,167
Boys?
1193
01:38:55,417 --> 01:38:57,542
I don't... I don't love your father.
1194
01:38:59,000 --> 01:39:01,542
She's just saying that
to make us feel better.
1195
01:39:01,542 --> 01:39:03,375
I'm sure you understand that.
1196
01:39:04,167 --> 01:39:06,458
Because if it were a joke,
I mean...
1197
01:39:07,583 --> 01:39:12,375
If... this were really a joke,
then it would be a joke so cruel.
1198
01:39:17,875 --> 01:39:21,292
No one can be that cruel.
1199
01:39:24,750 --> 01:39:27,875
They say that even the Huns
on their rampage
1200
01:39:27,875 --> 01:39:31,625
were rather unreserved,
but to split up a family...
1201
01:39:35,042 --> 01:39:39,083
To destroy a mesh of feelings
woven over 20 years
1202
01:39:39,083 --> 01:39:42,125
is no joke, I can assure you.
1203
01:39:52,125 --> 01:39:53,375
Well...
1204
01:39:55,042 --> 01:39:57,833
If three's a crowd,
then seven must be
1205
01:39:57,833 --> 01:40:00,500
a bit of a challenge
for the pretty miss.
1206
01:40:02,625 --> 01:40:07,208
I must say I have a hard time
picturing her enjoying loneliness.
1207
01:40:09,625 --> 01:40:13,125
I think we better grab
the chance to get away
1208
01:40:13,125 --> 01:40:15,583
before things become grotesque.
1209
01:40:18,625 --> 01:40:21,667
No, no, no!
1210
01:40:24,250 --> 01:40:27,417
You wouldn't want to give your father
a guilty conscience now, would you?
1211
01:41:05,458 --> 01:41:07,625
So how did this episode
affect your life?
1212
01:41:09,000 --> 01:41:10,333
Not at all.
1213
01:41:12,542 --> 01:41:15,292
- Not at all?
- No.
1214
01:41:16,250 --> 01:41:19,292
You can't make an omelet
without breaking a few eggs.
1215
01:41:23,917 --> 01:41:25,750
Well, that's true.
1216
01:41:28,750 --> 01:41:32,333
Some people... blame the addict.
1217
01:41:32,333 --> 01:41:36,500
Other people feel sorry
for the addict.
1218
01:41:36,500 --> 01:41:41,167
But I was an addict out of lust,
not out of need.
1219
01:41:41,917 --> 01:41:43,708
You would say that, wouldn't you?
1220
01:41:44,583 --> 01:41:48,167
And lust that led to
destruction around me,
1221
01:41:48,167 --> 01:41:49,625
everywhere I went.
1222
01:41:51,333 --> 01:41:56,042
Well, addiction
sometimes leads to an...
1223
01:41:56,042 --> 01:41:57,875
absence of empathy.
1224
01:41:59,667 --> 01:42:01,042
You can't fight a lion
1225
01:42:01,042 --> 01:42:03,667
and blow the noses
of your children at the same time.
1226
01:42:06,250 --> 01:42:09,333
For me, nymphomania
was callousness.
1227
01:42:12,583 --> 01:42:14,292
You're very stubborn.
1228
01:42:15,250 --> 01:42:17,417
But what about yourself?
1229
01:42:18,333 --> 01:42:20,875
How did you feel during all this?
1230
01:42:30,833 --> 01:42:33,875
Did you feel good,
or did you feel bad?
1231
01:42:41,917 --> 01:42:44,583
It's funny because
when I think about my life
1232
01:42:44,583 --> 01:42:49,417
as a whole, I can only say
that I felt good.
1233
01:42:49,417 --> 01:42:54,125
But when I try and remember
a specific episode,
1234
01:42:54,125 --> 01:42:57,542
I'd say that just then
I felt rather bad.
1235
01:42:57,542 --> 01:42:59,125
In what way?
1236
01:43:04,792 --> 01:43:07,875
Mrs. H was right
about the loneliness.
1237
01:43:08,667 --> 01:43:12,958
I'd be lying if I said it hadn't
been my constant companion.
1238
01:43:15,792 --> 01:43:19,917
So you were with all
these men, and you still felt alone?
1239
01:43:27,042 --> 01:43:29,375
I didn't want to tell you about it.
1240
01:43:31,000 --> 01:43:33,500
But you've led me into a trap.
1241
01:43:36,750 --> 01:43:39,292
It was a certain feeling.
1242
01:43:44,167 --> 01:43:48,708
Oh, how awful that everything
has to be so trivial.
1243
01:43:58,208 --> 01:44:01,125
When I was seven
I had to have an operation.
1244
01:44:01,125 --> 01:44:04,417
Nothing serious, but it did
require anesthesia.
1245
01:44:06,625 --> 01:44:11,083
I had already been pre-medicated,
and was feeling all right.
1246
01:44:12,250 --> 01:44:15,250
But when I looked into the room
where the doctors and nurses
1247
01:44:15,250 --> 01:44:18,500
were preparing for the operation,
1248
01:44:18,500 --> 01:44:21,000
it was as if had to pass through
1249
01:44:21,000 --> 01:44:24,958
an impenetrable gate
all by myself.
1250
01:44:27,417 --> 01:44:30,125
It wasn't just that
I missed my mom.
1251
01:44:30,125 --> 01:44:32,667
I don't think I missed my dad,
1252
01:44:32,667 --> 01:44:34,458
even though he was
the nice one.
1253
01:44:35,292 --> 01:44:39,708
It was as if I was completely alone
in the universe.
1254
01:44:41,792 --> 01:44:46,583
As if my whole body was filled
with loneliness and tears.
1255
01:45:09,833 --> 01:45:13,625
And I'm still not allowed
to feel sorry for you?
1256
01:45:15,458 --> 01:45:17,208
Shall we go on?
1257
01:45:42,958 --> 01:45:44,958
What are you reading?
1258
01:45:44,958 --> 01:45:47,917
I'm not
reading it really, I'm just...
1259
01:45:47,917 --> 01:45:50,625
reacquainting myself
with Edgar Allan Poe.
1260
01:45:51,833 --> 01:45:53,000
I don't know him.
1261
01:45:54,417 --> 01:45:56,333
Well, he was a...
1262
01:45:58,333 --> 01:46:00,458
very anxiety-ridden man.
1263
01:46:06,542 --> 01:46:10,667
He died in the most fearful way
you can imagine,
1264
01:46:10,667 --> 01:46:12,667
in something called delirium tremens.
1265
01:46:15,750 --> 01:46:20,500
It occurs when the long-time
abuse of alcohol is followed by...
1266
01:46:20,500 --> 01:46:22,750
by a sudden abstinence.
1267
01:46:24,750 --> 01:46:28,333
Your body goes into some kind
of hyper-sensitive shock.
1268
01:46:29,333 --> 01:46:32,542
You can see the most
horrifying hallucinations
1269
01:46:32,542 --> 01:46:38,000
or rats and snakes, and cockroaches
coming out of the floor,
1270
01:46:38,000 --> 01:46:41,250
and worms slithering the walls.
1271
01:46:44,125 --> 01:46:47,875
One's entire nervous system
is on high alert,
1272
01:46:47,875 --> 01:46:50,500
and you have a constant
panic and paranoia.
1273
01:46:52,333 --> 01:46:54,875
And then the
circulatory system fails.
1274
01:46:55,708 --> 01:46:58,250
But the panic and horror...
1275
01:46:58,250 --> 01:47:01,250
remains until
the moment of death.
1276
01:47:17,792 --> 01:47:19,750
I know what delirium is.
1277
01:47:24,083 --> 01:47:25,417
"During the whole
1278
01:47:25,417 --> 01:47:27,167
of a dull, dark and soundless day
1279
01:47:27,167 --> 01:47:30,375
in the autumn of the year,
when the clouds hung
1280
01:47:30,375 --> 01:47:33,125
oppressively low in the heavens,
1281
01:47:33,125 --> 01:47:36,375
I had been passing alone
on horseback
1282
01:47:36,375 --> 01:47:40,083
through a singularly
dreary tract of country;
1283
01:47:40,083 --> 01:47:41,958
and at length found myself
1284
01:47:41,958 --> 01:47:44,875
as the shades of
the evening drew on,
1285
01:47:44,875 --> 01:47:49,000
within view of the melancholy
House of Usher."
1286
01:48:18,792 --> 01:48:20,667
Hey, Dad.
1287
01:48:32,333 --> 01:48:33,333
Hi, love.
1288
01:48:36,000 --> 01:48:37,333
How are you?
1289
01:48:39,250 --> 01:48:40,750
I fought with Mom.
1290
01:48:42,542 --> 01:48:45,042
She's... She's not coming.
1291
01:48:49,625 --> 01:48:52,083
You ought not to fight with her.
1292
01:48:52,083 --> 01:48:54,458
You know Kay's fear of hospitals.
1293
01:48:58,125 --> 01:49:00,333
I know
she's not coming.
1294
01:49:00,333 --> 01:49:03,042
We already said everything
we needed to say.
1295
01:49:06,000 --> 01:49:07,833
Kay and I said goodbye at home.
1296
01:49:09,333 --> 01:49:11,292
I don't want her here at all.
1297
01:49:14,750 --> 01:49:18,792
- I can't accept that.
- You'll have to.
1298
01:49:19,750 --> 01:49:22,542
She's a cowardly, stupid bitch.
1299
01:49:24,250 --> 01:49:25,708
No, she's not.
1300
01:49:26,958 --> 01:49:28,917
- Yeah.
- No, she's not.
1301
01:49:28,917 --> 01:49:30,458
- Yes.
- No, she's not.
1302
01:49:30,458 --> 01:49:33,042
Yes, she is.
You've never understood that.
1303
01:49:48,208 --> 01:49:49,875
Doesn't it scare you?
1304
01:49:51,875 --> 01:49:57,583
No.
1305
01:50:00,625 --> 01:50:02,792
How can you not be afraid?
1306
01:50:07,708 --> 01:50:09,708
I've seen so many die.
1307
01:50:12,083 --> 01:50:15,417
And there's that Epicurus quote
1308
01:50:15,417 --> 01:50:17,167
about not fearing death.
1309
01:50:18,583 --> 01:50:22,250
"When we are, death has not come.
1310
01:50:22,250 --> 01:50:26,708
When death has come... we are not."
1311
01:50:31,125 --> 01:50:33,333
You know it's going to happen.
1312
01:50:33,958 --> 01:50:37,417
I also know all the drugs
the doctors have to offer.
1313
01:50:37,417 --> 01:50:38,958
So, no.
1314
01:50:39,958 --> 01:50:41,875
I am not...
1315
01:50:41,875 --> 01:50:44,000
I am not afraid.
1316
01:50:45,917 --> 01:50:48,708
Hmm. My beautiful girl.
1317
01:50:50,667 --> 01:50:52,583
Beautiful dad.
1318
01:50:59,833 --> 01:51:01,625
Hello, Doctor.
1319
01:51:01,625 --> 01:51:04,667
Hello, Doctor.
This is my daughter Joe.
1320
01:51:04,667 --> 01:51:06,292
- Hey, Joe.
- Hi.
1321
01:51:09,042 --> 01:51:10,958
Do you need anything?
1322
01:51:10,958 --> 01:51:14,375
As I've said, I've decided to be
1323
01:51:14,375 --> 01:51:16,958
an exemplary patient,
completely subjecting myself
1324
01:51:16,958 --> 01:51:19,625
- to doctor's orders.
- Are you in pain?
1325
01:51:21,417 --> 01:51:22,917
I don't think so, no.
1326
01:51:22,917 --> 01:51:25,000
We're going to give you
a splash all the same.
1327
01:51:46,458 --> 01:51:48,000
Your hair is longer.
1328
01:51:50,583 --> 01:51:52,250
No, it's not.
1329
01:51:55,333 --> 01:51:57,417
They're giving you
too much medication.
1330
01:52:08,083 --> 01:52:08,792
No.
1331
01:52:10,292 --> 01:52:11,833
Dad.
1332
01:52:12,625 --> 01:52:16,208
It's okay, Dad.
You're just dreaming.
1333
01:52:16,208 --> 01:52:20,792
You're having a nightmare.
1334
01:52:22,292 --> 01:52:25,667
It's okay.
1335
01:52:43,292 --> 01:52:45,833
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
1336
01:52:48,542 --> 01:52:51,667
Okay. Don't worry, I'm going
to get the doctor. Don't worry.
1337
01:53:08,375 --> 01:53:10,375
You must be exhausted.
1338
01:53:12,042 --> 01:53:13,333
I'm fine.
1339
01:53:14,167 --> 01:53:16,583
I think you should go home,
get some rest.
1340
01:53:18,375 --> 01:53:21,458
No. Someone needs to be here.
1341
01:53:23,333 --> 01:53:26,208
Perhaps you could share
with some other family members.
1342
01:53:29,667 --> 01:53:31,458
There aren't any others.
1343
01:54:05,750 --> 01:54:07,458
Kay!
1344
01:54:07,458 --> 01:54:10,667
Daddy, it's okay.
1345
01:54:10,667 --> 01:54:13,583
Kay?
1346
01:54:17,458 --> 01:54:18,958
Kay.
1347
01:54:18,958 --> 01:54:21,750
Kay. Kay.
1348
01:54:27,417 --> 01:54:30,958
Kay.
1349
01:54:30,958 --> 01:54:33,625
Kay! Kay.
1350
01:54:33,625 --> 01:54:36,792
- Kay!
- I'm going to get the doctor.
1351
01:54:36,792 --> 01:54:38,333
Kay!
1352
01:54:38,333 --> 01:54:39,958
I'm going to get the doctor, Daddy.
1353
01:54:43,375 --> 01:54:47,500
Excuse me. My dad is really unwell.
1354
01:54:47,500 --> 01:54:49,792
Sit. I'll go have a look.
1355
01:54:51,542 --> 01:54:53,583
Maybe you could give him
some more morphine.
1356
01:54:53,583 --> 01:54:56,250
There's something
I'd like to explain.
1357
01:54:57,833 --> 01:54:59,625
I can certainly give him
more morphine,
1358
01:54:59,625 --> 01:55:02,833
but most likely it won't
make much difference.
1359
01:55:03,833 --> 01:55:08,333
Most deaths, fortunately,
are uneventful,
1360
01:55:08,333 --> 01:55:13,875
as long as you medicate the patients
to keep them free of fear and pain.
1361
01:55:13,875 --> 01:55:16,875
In a few cases,
the process of dying
1362
01:55:16,875 --> 01:55:18,667
causes brain damage,
1363
01:55:19,875 --> 01:55:22,125
which triggers
what we call delirium.
1364
01:55:22,875 --> 01:55:27,708
That's not something we can soften
with morphine, unfortunately.
1365
01:55:46,375 --> 01:55:47,833
Daddy.
1366
01:55:58,042 --> 01:55:59,750
It's gonna be okay.
1367
01:56:11,583 --> 01:56:14,500
I don't know
what's happening to me.
1368
01:56:31,417 --> 01:56:33,667
Don't you want to take a little walk?
1369
01:56:33,667 --> 01:56:36,000
I'll stay with your father
in the meantime.
1370
01:56:36,542 --> 01:56:39,417
You'll stay?
You'll stay here?
1371
01:56:39,417 --> 01:56:40,417
Yes.
1372
01:57:37,875 --> 01:57:39,792
Ash tree leaves.
1373
01:57:42,250 --> 01:57:44,042
Where did you find them?
1374
01:57:44,542 --> 01:57:46,417
They were in the park.
1375
01:57:54,542 --> 01:57:57,500
It truly is the most beautiful
tree in the forest.
1376
01:58:01,792 --> 01:58:04,083
But Dad...
1377
01:58:04,083 --> 01:58:07,042
How do you recognize it
in winter?
1378
01:58:08,042 --> 01:58:09,958
Told you 100 times.
1379
01:58:12,000 --> 01:58:13,708
I can't remember.
1380
01:58:18,458 --> 01:58:21,542
When the ash tree was created...
1381
01:58:24,167 --> 01:58:27,125
it made all the other trees
in the forest jealous,
1382
01:58:28,208 --> 01:58:30,000
because it was...
1383
01:58:32,292 --> 01:58:34,917
It was the most beautiful tree
in the forest.
1384
01:58:38,417 --> 01:58:40,250
It had the strongest wood.
1385
01:58:41,417 --> 01:58:43,208
It could be used for anything.
1386
01:58:45,875 --> 01:58:49,750
It was the World Tree
in Norse mythology.
1387
01:58:51,250 --> 01:58:54,208
You couldn't say
anything bad about it.
1388
01:58:58,417 --> 01:59:02,250
And then when all the other
trees saw the ash tree
1389
01:59:02,250 --> 01:59:05,333
with its black buds...
1390
01:59:06,417 --> 01:59:08,500
they all started laughing.
1391
01:59:09,417 --> 01:59:10,917
"Oh, look.
1392
01:59:12,167 --> 01:59:15,750
The ash tree's had its fingers
in the ashes."
1393
01:59:32,875 --> 01:59:36,167
Dad. Daddy!
1394
01:59:36,167 --> 01:59:38,208
Daddy. Daddy, what's wrong?
1395
01:59:38,208 --> 01:59:39,500
Daddy, what's wrong?
1396
01:59:43,125 --> 01:59:45,750
Daddy, it's me!
It's me, then. It's me!
1397
01:59:45,750 --> 01:59:48,625
Help! Help!
1398
01:59:51,333 --> 01:59:52,542
Okay.
1399
01:59:52,542 --> 01:59:54,708
Okay.
1400
01:59:57,750 --> 02:00:00,208
Okay. It's okay, it's okay.
It's all right.
1401
02:00:04,083 --> 02:00:05,875
It's all right.
1402
02:00:16,167 --> 02:00:18,458
We have to fixate him.
1403
02:00:18,458 --> 02:00:22,000
What are you doing?
What are you doing to me?
1404
02:00:27,125 --> 02:00:30,375
Joe! What are
you doing to me?
1405
02:00:44,583 --> 02:00:45,542
Joe!
1406
02:00:46,083 --> 02:00:48,958
Joe!
1407
02:00:48,958 --> 02:00:51,458
I'm sorry.
1408
02:00:56,625 --> 02:00:58,042
You should take a break.
1409
02:02:31,875 --> 02:02:33,625
Excuse me.
1410
02:02:40,917 --> 02:02:42,750
Okay, don't worry.
1411
02:02:42,750 --> 02:02:45,417
Just clean that up.
1412
02:03:32,458 --> 02:03:33,875
Ready?
1413
02:04:37,208 --> 02:04:41,500
When he died,
I had no feelings left.
1414
02:04:42,458 --> 02:04:44,792
Well,
that's certainly understandable.
1415
02:04:45,583 --> 02:04:48,667
No. I don't know
what happened to me.
1416
02:04:49,917 --> 02:04:51,458
It was very shameful.
1417
02:04:52,583 --> 02:04:56,333
Shameful?
I don't understand.
1418
02:05:22,208 --> 02:05:24,417
I lubricated.
1419
02:05:42,125 --> 02:05:44,458
I know you like to present
yourself in a negative way,
1420
02:05:44,458 --> 02:05:47,042
and that you have this,
kind of dark bias
1421
02:05:47,042 --> 02:05:49,125
that you're worse
than everyone else.
1422
02:05:49,792 --> 02:05:51,708
But this story doesn't
add to that belief.
1423
02:05:54,083 --> 02:05:57,500
It's extremely common
to react sexually in a crisis.
1424
02:05:58,292 --> 02:06:00,875
It may be shameful to you, but...
1425
02:06:00,875 --> 02:06:04,375
in literature,
there is many worse examples.
1426
02:06:08,125 --> 02:06:10,458
But I did inherit
my father's caliper.
1427
02:06:12,958 --> 02:06:17,625
I found it so beautiful
and worn by its use.
1428
02:06:18,833 --> 02:06:21,083
What else did you receive?
1429
02:06:23,833 --> 02:06:25,125
Nothing.
1430
02:06:26,917 --> 02:06:29,375
I didn't have the strength
to argue with my mother,
1431
02:06:29,375 --> 02:06:32,750
so I wrote off any further
part of my inheritance.
1432
02:06:32,750 --> 02:06:37,792
Really?
Well, that's a dramatic gesture.
1433
02:06:41,125 --> 02:06:44,583
- You listen to music, I see?
- Yes.
1434
02:06:44,583 --> 02:06:48,750
I like it a lot.
Shall I find a tape?
1435
02:06:48,750 --> 02:06:53,583
No, if there's a tape already
in the machine? I'd like to hear that.
1436
02:06:54,125 --> 02:06:56,167
It's something I've been
listening to a lot lately,
1437
02:06:56,167 --> 02:06:59,458
though it's not an entirely complete
recording, unfortunately.
1438
02:07:00,083 --> 02:07:02,750
- What is it?
- It's Bach.
1439
02:07:02,750 --> 02:07:05,500
From his little organ book.
1440
02:07:12,500 --> 02:07:14,792
The theme is originally a hymn,
1441
02:07:15,667 --> 02:07:19,042
Bach rearranged it
and embellished it a little.
1442
02:07:20,083 --> 02:07:23,292
He was the master at polyphony,
if you know what that is.
1443
02:07:23,292 --> 02:07:25,958
No, yet another thing I don't know.
1444
02:07:25,958 --> 02:07:29,167
Polyphony is
from the Middle Ages.
1445
02:07:29,167 --> 02:07:31,667
It's an entirely European phenomenon.
1446
02:07:32,500 --> 02:07:35,500
It's distinguished
by the idea that,
1447
02:07:35,500 --> 02:07:38,625
every voice is its own melody,
1448
02:07:40,083 --> 02:07:42,042
but together in harmony.
1449
02:07:43,917 --> 02:07:48,125
Bach's forerunner, Palestrina,
he wrote many words
1450
02:07:48,125 --> 02:07:50,792
for several choirs at the same time,
1451
02:07:50,792 --> 02:07:53,208
wallowing in polyphony.
1452
02:08:03,208 --> 02:08:05,458
But in my eyes, Bach perfected
1453
02:08:05,458 --> 02:08:07,792
the melodic expression
and the harmony.
1454
02:08:08,833 --> 02:08:13,250
And also mixed up with some
rather incomprehensible
1455
02:08:13,250 --> 02:08:15,625
mystique regarding numbers,
1456
02:08:15,625 --> 02:08:19,375
most likely based on
the Fibonacci Sequence.
1457
02:08:20,958 --> 02:08:23,292
You know the one that
starts with the zero,
1458
02:08:23,292 --> 02:08:24,500
and then comes the one.
1459
02:08:25,208 --> 02:08:29,458
The sequence is created by
adding the two previous numbers
1460
02:08:29,458 --> 02:08:32,750
to create the new one,
so it's zero plus one makes one.
1461
02:08:32,750 --> 02:08:35,625
and one plus one makes two,
and two plus one makes three
1462
02:08:35,625 --> 02:08:39,042
and three plus two makes five,
and five plus three makes eight,
1463
02:08:39,042 --> 02:08:41,208
and eight plus five makes 13.
1464
02:08:41,208 --> 02:08:42,958
The sequence has an
interesting connection
1465
02:08:42,958 --> 02:08:45,750
to Pythagoras' theorem
of the Golden Section.
1466
02:08:47,500 --> 02:08:50,958
It was all about finding out
a divine methodology
1467
02:08:50,958 --> 02:08:52,875
in art and architecture.
1468
02:08:52,875 --> 02:08:54,833
A bit like the way a tri-tone,
1469
02:08:54,833 --> 02:08:56,958
which was played on the piano
in your little club
1470
02:08:56,958 --> 02:08:58,917
was supposed to be
a satanic interval.
1471
02:09:00,583 --> 02:09:04,750
The sum of the numeric values
represented in Bach's name is 14,
1472
02:09:05,750 --> 02:09:08,000
a number he often used
in his compositions.
1473
02:09:08,000 --> 02:09:09,833
The clever thing about Bach's name
1474
02:09:09,833 --> 02:09:13,417
is that the numeric value
of the individual letters
1475
02:09:13,417 --> 02:09:15,167
are all Fibonacci numbers.
1476
02:09:18,250 --> 02:09:20,833
This piece has three voices:
1477
02:09:20,833 --> 02:09:22,000
the bass voice...
1478
02:09:27,875 --> 02:09:29,750
The second voice
played with the left hand.
1479
02:09:34,500 --> 02:09:36,417
The first voice played
with the right hand.
1480
02:09:36,417 --> 02:09:40,333
That is called
Cantus Firmus, or Cantu firmus.
1481
02:09:40,333 --> 02:09:44,500
And together, these three voices
create the polyphony.
1482
02:11:15,333 --> 02:11:18,625
Well, if I should compare
this with my story,
1483
02:11:18,625 --> 02:11:22,000
it's reminiscent of
a quality of nymphomania,
1484
02:11:22,000 --> 02:11:25,542
which is normally ignored,
but nonetheless essential,
1485
02:11:25,542 --> 02:11:29,208
and namely the relationship
between the various intercourses.
1486
02:11:31,875 --> 02:11:34,125
That's interesting.
1487
02:11:34,125 --> 02:11:36,833
They create a... a completeness?
1488
02:11:38,208 --> 02:11:40,542
As, for example, the handshake,
1489
02:11:40,542 --> 02:11:43,792
which for all people
is the sum of
1490
02:11:43,792 --> 02:11:46,708
all the different handshakes
that together
1491
02:11:46,708 --> 02:11:50,083
form our view
of what a handshake is.
1492
02:11:50,083 --> 02:11:53,000
The good, the bad handshake,
1493
02:11:53,000 --> 02:11:54,667
the firm, the limp.
1494
02:11:56,708 --> 02:11:59,417
Normally, a nymphomaniac
is seen as...
1495
02:12:00,708 --> 02:12:02,750
someone who can't get enough,
1496
02:12:03,667 --> 02:12:06,042
and therefore, has sex
with many different people.
1497
02:12:06,042 --> 02:12:07,750
Well, that, of course, is true,
1498
02:12:07,750 --> 02:12:12,542
but if I'm to be honest,
I see it precisely as
1499
02:12:12,542 --> 02:12:17,167
the sum of all these different
sexual experiences.
1500
02:12:19,000 --> 02:12:23,125
So in that way,
I have only one lover.
1501
02:12:27,875 --> 02:12:30,708
Since the music
has three voices,
1502
02:12:30,708 --> 02:12:34,583
I will limit myself to talking
about three lovers.
1503
02:12:34,583 --> 02:12:38,417
The bass is easy.
That's F.
1504
02:12:39,000 --> 02:12:42,375
F had a red car
that he'd bought used.
1505
02:12:45,292 --> 02:12:46,583
As I was having sex
1506
02:12:46,583 --> 02:12:50,750
with seven or eight men
every night at the time,
1507
02:12:50,750 --> 02:12:53,042
scheduling was tricky.
1508
02:12:53,042 --> 02:12:56,083
And they all had to have
precise appointments.
1509
02:12:56,083 --> 02:12:59,125
F was a good man.
1510
02:12:59,125 --> 02:13:01,833
If he was scheduled
for ten o'clock,
1511
02:13:01,833 --> 02:13:06,125
he always showed up around nine
and parked down in the street.
1512
02:13:06,125 --> 02:13:08,417
I always smiled when I saw him.
1513
02:13:10,250 --> 02:13:13,917
Often I took pity on him,
and gave him a cup of coffee,
1514
02:13:13,917 --> 02:13:16,125
although I was finishing
with the one before.
1515
02:13:18,750 --> 02:13:22,250
It's hard to say why I'm
choosing to talk about F,
1516
02:13:22,250 --> 02:13:23,917
but he was reassuring,
1517
02:13:24,458 --> 02:13:27,750
and he knew exactly what
I wanted when we had sex.
1518
02:13:28,667 --> 02:13:32,292
No, I'd go even further,
and say that there was
1519
02:13:32,292 --> 02:13:35,542
a kind of telepathy going on
when we had sex.
1520
02:13:36,625 --> 02:13:41,042
Without words, he knew
exactly what I wanted,
1521
02:13:41,042 --> 02:13:44,125
where he should touch me
and what he should do.
1522
02:13:45,792 --> 02:13:50,125
The most sacred goal for F
was my orgasm.
1523
02:13:51,000 --> 02:13:53,917
Why? And then...
1524
02:13:53,917 --> 02:13:58,042
the swans answered
in the same voice.
1525
02:13:58,042 --> 02:14:00,167
And granted him privileges
1526
02:14:00,167 --> 02:14:02,333
none of the others received.
1527
02:14:08,917 --> 02:14:11,125
F was the bass voice.
1528
02:14:11,125 --> 02:14:15,042
Monotone, predictable
and ritualistic.
1529
02:14:15,042 --> 02:14:17,042
No doubt about it.
1530
02:14:17,042 --> 02:14:20,708
But also the foundation
that is so important,
1531
02:14:20,708 --> 02:14:23,833
even if on its own
it doesn't mean much.
1532
02:14:56,875 --> 02:14:58,833
G was quite different.
1533
02:14:59,917 --> 02:15:03,667
The only one I had to,
and wanted to wait for.
1534
02:15:04,667 --> 02:15:08,250
When he finally turned up
and I opened the door,
1535
02:15:08,250 --> 02:15:10,625
he didn't immediately enter,
1536
02:15:10,625 --> 02:15:13,583
the way a cat doesn't
when you let it in.
1537
02:15:13,583 --> 02:15:16,083
As if,
once the door is open,
1538
02:15:16,083 --> 02:15:18,208
it has all the time
in the world.
1539
02:15:25,083 --> 02:15:27,458
But he was more
than a cat.
1540
02:15:27,458 --> 02:15:30,583
He was like some kind
of jaguar, or leopard.
1541
02:15:31,958 --> 02:15:34,333
He moved like them,
1542
02:15:34,333 --> 02:15:36,958
which turned me on no end.
1543
02:15:47,750 --> 02:15:50,208
When he laid down on my bed,
1544
02:15:50,208 --> 02:15:52,833
it was clear to me that
I should approach him,
1545
02:15:52,833 --> 02:15:54,708
and not the other way round.
1546
02:15:55,292 --> 02:16:00,708
And when I did touch him,
it was with some hesitation,
1547
02:16:00,708 --> 02:16:04,125
as his reactions
were unpredictable.
1548
02:16:04,125 --> 02:16:07,125
He was in charge.
That's the way it was.
1549
02:16:09,500 --> 02:16:11,792
1550
02:16:57,625 --> 02:16:59,958
Despite my success in managing
1551
02:16:59,958 --> 02:17:03,208
the complicated logistics
involved with arranging
1552
02:17:03,208 --> 02:17:06,750
up to ten daily
sexual satisfactions,
1553
02:17:06,750 --> 02:17:09,583
while also having
a full-time job,
1554
02:17:09,583 --> 02:17:12,958
I was still prone to
a certain sadness.
1555
02:17:12,958 --> 02:17:15,917
So when my busy life
allowed a few breaks,
1556
02:17:15,917 --> 02:17:18,208
I used them
to take my walks.
1557
02:17:19,208 --> 02:17:22,667
These repeated walks
became a kind of metaphor
1558
02:17:22,667 --> 02:17:25,750
for my life.
Monotonous and pointless.
1559
02:17:28,458 --> 02:17:32,167
Yes, precisely like the
movements of a caged animal.
1560
02:17:33,750 --> 02:17:36,542
Basically, we're all waiting
for permission to die.
1561
02:19:04,208 --> 02:19:05,708
No.
1562
02:19:06,583 --> 02:19:09,625
No, no, no. No, there...
1563
02:19:09,625 --> 02:19:12,375
There are some completely
unrealistic coincidences
1564
02:19:12,375 --> 02:19:14,042
in your story about Jerome.
1565
02:19:16,250 --> 02:19:20,083
First, by chance, he hires you as...
As an assistant.
1566
02:19:20,083 --> 02:19:21,667
And then you take a walk in a forest,
1567
02:19:21,667 --> 02:19:23,500
and it's littered
with photographs of him.
1568
02:19:23,500 --> 02:19:26,458
And not only that... he's present.
1569
02:19:27,500 --> 02:19:32,208
And then like a god,
pulls you up to him through the clouds.
1570
02:19:32,208 --> 02:19:35,917
So what?
That's the way this story goes.
1571
02:19:36,708 --> 02:19:39,750
And I'm the one telling it,
and I know what happened.
1572
02:19:41,000 --> 02:19:42,917
Do you want to hear it or not?
1573
02:19:46,458 --> 02:19:48,208
Goodness gracious.
1574
02:20:00,375 --> 02:20:02,250
What a strange way to meet.
1575
02:20:04,083 --> 02:20:05,083
Yes.
1576
02:20:07,042 --> 02:20:09,083
It's a very strange way.
1577
02:20:09,083 --> 02:20:11,667
Jerome was there
because he'd just had a fight
1578
02:20:11,667 --> 02:20:14,708
with his wife, who in anger
tore up the photographs
1579
02:20:14,708 --> 02:20:16,958
they just had developed
from their travels.
1580
02:20:16,958 --> 02:20:19,708
I don't know if I can believe this.
1581
02:20:19,708 --> 02:20:21,458
Which way
do you think you'd get the most
1582
02:20:21,458 --> 02:20:23,000
out of my story?
1583
02:20:23,000 --> 02:20:25,375
By believing in it
or not believing in it?
1584
02:20:26,542 --> 02:20:28,083
Yeah, you're right.
1585
02:20:28,083 --> 02:20:29,750
You might have a point
with all this.
1586
02:20:33,917 --> 02:20:37,875
The secret ingredient
to sex is love.
1587
02:20:42,000 --> 02:20:44,875
The third voice,
the secret ingredient.
1588
02:20:45,792 --> 02:20:47,375
Cantus Firmus
1589
02:22:22,417 --> 02:22:25,708
Fill all my holes.
1590
02:22:27,708 --> 02:22:32,625
1591
02:23:25,000 --> 02:23:26,250
What's wrong?
1592
02:23:26,250 --> 02:23:28,958
Hmm?
1593
02:23:28,958 --> 02:23:32,125
- I can't feel anything.
- Huh?
1594
02:23:32,125 --> 02:23:33,625
I can't feel anything.
1595
02:23:36,458 --> 02:23:38,458
I can't feel anything.
1596
02:23:40,708 --> 02:23:43,208
I can't... anything.
1597
02:23:48,625 --> 02:23:53,292
"Fأ¼hre mich")
112345
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