All language subtitles for Ally McBeal - 03x19 - Do You Wanna Dance_.DVDRip.XviD-SAINTS.English.orig.Addic7ed.com

Ah-ah! ...Heh, heh! Whoo ... Ahh!

Hi.

-You just had sex!
-What? Renee, are you crazy?

-Where is he?
-There is nobody here.

Ally, your face gets a certain look
when you've just had sex.

There is nobody here.

Oh. ... Anybody I know in mind?

-Just get out!
-Fine.

Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no ...
That, that, that is, uh ... private.

It's my journal.

-Journal?
-Yes.

Turn back a few pages ..

back to the time when you and I used to
tell each other everything.

Okay. I, um ...I just had computer sex.

-Computer sex?
-It was amazing.

We've been e-mailing
back and forth

for about four months now.
And ... it's been great.

And you talk sex to get each other ----

Oh, no, no. It was ... that, no.
That was the first time.

You're having a relationship on the Internet?

Well, there are worse things.

You realize this guy's probably got
two heads and a criminal record?

No, he doesn't.

Then, why haven't you met him in person?

Well, I think that the anonymity of it
all makes it a little more exciting, and ...

-plus, I think he's married.
-Ally!

Oh, it is just e-mail.

-You just had sex.
-I did not have sex. I just ----

A fantasy with you is just like the real thing.
You had sex with a married man!

I did not have sex!

And there's nothing wrong with
fantasizing about a married man.

Plus, I don't even know that he's married.

I just think it because he is the one
who is resisting meeting me --

I would do it in a second!

He's ... well, he just seems so great.

And when Billy died, he, he was so ...

well, he just knew the right things to say.

-He's a priest!
-Oh, he isn't a priest.

-They love to get online!
-He's, he's just a guy!

He's not just a guy! ...

If this guy's normal and unmarried,
then he'd agree to meet you.

You're right.
Okay, I will meet him, then. I will.

Moving along. Uh ...
Bender vs. Hanks. Uh, Mark, Ally, murder?

Sorry, civil case this time.

Jimmy Bender is suing his best friend,
Peter Hanks, for emotional distress.

-Wh-wh-what did he do?
-Slept with his wife.

He can sue for that?
How can he sue for that?

Because it caused emotional distress,
Richard. It was his wife.

But you're talking about love;
that's based on pain.

You're talking about sex;
that can be based on pain sometimes, too.

Ouch, it hurts! Do it again.
Ouch, it hurts! Do it again ----

Richard.

If we can move along, please.
I have a busy day.

Oh. Well then,
let's by all means speed it up.

Frosty the Snow Girl has plans.

What did you call me?

Frosty the Snow Girl --
yes, without the warmth.

You shouldn't get to talk to me like that
just because you're senior pipsqueak.

-Ah! I mean partner.
-All right. This isn't necessary.

Speaking of which,
I'd like to be made partner.

I believe I generate most of the business here.
I'd like to be compensated accordingly.

Over my dead body.

Which would still be
a few degrees warmer than yours.

You rich, bitch, elitist, ice queen!

-You can't talk like that.
-Of course, I can!

You heard me.
I didn't even stutter.

John, she is an associate
that you had sex with.

-She could sue you for that.
-Oh, let her try!

You know what she is, Ally?

And I've never used this word
describing any woman before.

But with her, it's what she is.

Look. Obviously, you have
a little residual hostility here.

And she works for you.
You, you'd better be careful.

She ended it to my buttocks.
I was stuck in an elevator,

she looked me right in the ass,
and then dumped it!

It was cowardly, I agree.

But, but you cannot, cannot,
cannnot act out like this.

-It ... it's, it's against the law.
-Balls the law!

We went to high school together,
and college.

He was even best man in my wedding.

Turns out he was best man with your wife,
I guess, too.

All right.

Do we really need to get
cheap and gratuitous about this?

Mr. Albert, keep it about the case.

Mr. Bender, you divorced your wife --
that's done. Why sue this man?

He was my best friend.

Look. This is not just about an affair
that broke up a marriage.

This is about an affair
that happened expressly because

he and I were best friends.

-Could you explain that?
-Yes.

We moved to Boston
because my job brought me here.

Susan's from St. Louis,
she has no friends here.

So, I asked Peter if he could
help her get involved in things here.

Um, new friendships,
uh, tennis league, anything.

Basically, I asked my best friend
to help me look after my wife.

And he certainly did that, didn't he?

For two years, he lied to me,
he was sleeping with her --

and continuing to present himself
as my best friend.

That's betrayal.

Uh, forget about being able to
trust another woman.

This has rendered me unable to
trust my friends.

¢Ü You see this guy,
this guy's in love with you

Yes, I'm in love,
who looks at you the way I do

You've told many people you blame yourself
for the demise of the marriage?

Yes. I blame myself for

misplacing my trust in someone
who I thought was loyal.

Did you tell people you were
guilty of neglecting your wife?

Which is why I asked Peter
to help me look after her.

How many hours a week did you work, sir?

I wasn't home a lot. I admitted that,
which again is why I turned to Peter.

In truth, you had stopped
being her lover, hadn't you, sir?

Well, w-w-we were going through
some things.

You'd gone months
without kissing her, even.

Your lips never touched hers.

-I-it's him!
-The computer guy?

I just have this feeling.
I, I swear there was something.

A-and the way he looked at me --
I, I think that he knows it was me.

He ... you ... what?

-Ally have computer sex with someone.
-Ow!

I've been corresponding
with a guy on e-mail.

-I've never met him ----
-But they have. Ouch!

He used my e-mail name
in two questions.

He got it into the questions.

And, and I just had this feeling
that he is the guy.

Why didn't you just ask him?

Oh ... and what if I'm wrong?
"I beg your pardon,

but did you touch yourself last nightwith me in mind while reading my e-mails?"

I'll ask him.
Ow!

I'm just going to e-mail him again
and, and demand him to meet me, and ...

and then, I'll know for sure.

You promised me I would be considered
for partnership in two years.

Well, we have considered you, Nelle.

I, I did the analysis.
I-it didnt work out.

Why not?

Well, when we examined the numbers,
uh, splitting the pie in half,

I get more money than if I split it in threes.

If you examine this graphic ... here,
uh, me and John --

I get half. Include you --
I get less. More ... and less.

You can't ignore the research, Nelle.

Obviously, it means you having to
give up some of your piece.

And if I did that, how could I look myself
in the mirror or face others?

Being generous doesn't
earn respect, Nelle.

People may smile and say, "Thank you, "
but underneath, they're thinking, "Sap."

Leaders don't give away money.

You keep as much for yourself as you can.

You try to get more,
even when you don't need it.

Giving away money makes you
a fool in other people's eyes,

especially in the business world.

Yeah, I need to be a good leader, Nelle,
not a charitable sap.

I would love to see you get richer,
but not at the cost of my own self-respect.

There will be consequences
for this, Richard!

John, hi!

-How's it going?
-Well, not bad --

considering I often have to work
side by side with revolting people.

One of which I even dated.

Amazing I didn't lose my penis to frostbite.

Yeah. ... Listen. ... I know that
you're best friends with Ally.

Do you think ... that ...
she and I ... could be ... be a match?

-As a couple?
-Yeah.

-No.
-Oh.

-Do you mind tell me why not?
-Well, Mark, with Ally,

it's the internals that matter the most,
and you have the depth of a bottle cap ...

I apologize, that was cold of me.

That's what can happen
when you hang out with a popsicle.

Do you think she'd say no,
if I asked her?

I-it would be folly for me
to speak for Ally McBeal,

but, Mark, if you want to go out with her,
I'd just ask her.

-What'd he say?
-Oh, j-just I'm, I'm waiting. Just hold on. ...

-Well, d-d-do you mind? It's private.
-Oh come on. I'm just ----

-Renee, I ask you to step back!
-Fine. I was just ...

-Loverlips?!
-Renee, go away!

-That's your name on this -- Loverlips?
-Never mind!

Ho ho. Ho ho, wait ...
It's him. ...

H-ha. He's agreeing to meet me,
we're going to meet tonight!

I swear he knows it's me.

-Thunderthighs?
-Oh, just go away!

Loverlips and Thunderthighs?

You're supposed to pick
a kind of exotic name. Okay?

Fine.

-Fine.
-Oh, shut up!

I suppose I began to fall in love with her.

And at some point, you acted on it?

Y-yeah. Three of us were out at a bar.
There was a piano singer or something.

And Jimmy got a call from work,
some emergency, and he had to leave.

So, Susan and I were left alone.
And the singer was singing some song. ...

¢Ü Do you wanna dance and hold my hand?

We talked about this and that.
Who knows what?

But the truth,

what we were afraid to confront ...

seemed to be getting louder
like the telltale heart or something.

Finally, I couldn't take it any longer.

And I asked her to dance.
She said yes.

we got up and went to the dance floor.

And it was ...

it was like we'd either been together
our whole lives,

or we should have been.

It was a dance that ...

Then, uh ... I, I don't know
if I went to kiss her

or she went to kiss me,

but suddenly we were kissing
right there on the dance floor.

And it was ... magic.

My god, it was the most tender,
magical kiss there could ever be.

Ah ... Sorry. Just, just ... Mmm ...

What do you mean, leave?

Well, I've worked out the numbers.
With the clients we have,

if we started our own firm,
we'd make more money.

I'm rich. I only go to work
to wear my outfits.

If it were just you and me ...
You've already seen my outfits.

Plus, I'd have to talk to clients --

I hate clients.

So, you like working for Matt and Jeff?

Yes. They're fun.

Oh, fun may be but ...

Wouldn't you like to go to work
with real lawyers?

No!!

Well ... between you and me, uh ...
I think I might leave.

-Maybe I'll join one of the big firms.
-The big firms?

Do you know how long it takes
to make partner at a big firm?

Please.

Between my portables, my hair,
the sexual harassment laws,

I'll be partner in a month.

-Excuse me.
-Mmm ...

-Oh. Uh ... I'm sorry.
-Uh ... Uh, it's, it's okay.

I, I always, I always, um,
forget to pull up when I'm finished.

Here. Let me, um ...

¢Ü For your love, I would do anything

Thank you.

Uh ... I, I know this might sound like
rather a Neanderthal pickup line

-but, um ... ha-have we met before?
-Uh, um ... I don't think so.

It's just y-you were looking at me like, um ...
¢Ü For your kiss

Well, I like to distract opposing counsel.
That's all.

I like to look at them like I just want to
tear off their clothes

and lick them from head to toe.

And here I was hoping it was genuine.

Well, my tongue is free later.
Ha ha ... Kidding.

Maybe we could get a coffee.
Uh, I can't today.

I have an appointment
after we're done here, but ... tomorrow?

You have an appointment
after you're done here?

Yeah, a meeting. Um ...
how about tomorrow night?

A meeting? A business meeting?

No. Personal.

-Ah. Uh, tomorrow sounds great.
-Great ... great.

You will take it easy
cross-examining my client?

Sorry. I only know one speed.

Okay, so you fell in love.

Why lie to him for two years?
Why not tell him?

Well, it was a difficult situation.

You're his best friend, Mr. Hanks,

and you continued holding yourself
out as his best friend.

And it was that friendship
I was afraid of losing.

You're afraid of losing his friendship,
but you sleep with his wife?

Objection! Gophering!
Oh, I ... apologize, uh, Your Honor.

In America, you call it badgering.
In my country, it's gophering.

-She's gophering the witness, Judge.
-Overruled.

I still can't get past the two years of deceit.

-Gophering!
-Overruled.

You and Susan, you ever discuss
how to keep this affair secret from Mr. Bender?

-Well ... of course.
-Hmm. You, uh, you made plans.

You, uh, went to great lengths
to preserve the lie?

-Pope Paul!
-Pope ... Paul?

Once again I, I apologize, Your Honor.

In England, in objections to sarcasm,
barristers would often say,

"He's Winston-Churchilling the witness."

Over the years,
it was shortened to just "church."

At some point,
it morphed into "Pope Paul."

I don't know why ...
it's rather silly, really.

You really think he's the guy
you've been talking to on the computer?

He told me that he had a meeting
right after court,

and he looked right at me.
And the way he said it ----

Don't you think that would be
kind of a big coincidence?

He used "lover" and "lips"
in successive questions.

Did you use the words,
"thunder" or "thighs"?

Never mind. ...

Oh! Okay, oh-ooh,
i-it's time for you to go.

Where do you want me??

Uh ... uh, okay, okay, uh,
j-j-j-j-just go sit over at that cafe.

Now, if he does turn out
that he is a big weirdo,

I am going to put my purse
on the table like this.

And that is your signal for you
to come join us.

Now, if I don't,
I don't want to see your face.

And if he's wearing a wedding ring,
put the purse on the table.

Go.

-Ma'am? You doing okay?
-Uh, fine, fine. Run away!

Nelle, how are you?

You can get back to me
with your answer on that.

Have you seen the "Penale Esquevez" file?

-The which?
-Penale Esquevez!

Oh! The Penale Esquevez!
Actually, I have that one, in here.

Do you? And why would you
have the Penale Esquevez file?

I believe I had to meet
with Mr. Penale Esquevez,

because you were too busy
being wedged into an elevator shaft

with your skinny legs sticking out
with your unmatching socks.

-I'll take that file now, please.
-Fine.

And I'll have my assistant
notify Mr. Penale Esquevez

that you're out of the elevator shaft.

Loverlips? It's me. Thunderthighs.

-Y-you? You, you're ...
-Thunderthighs.

Oh ... Um ... Ah-hem.

Wha-what uh, what uh ...
a surprise. Hoo ...

-You expected something different?
-I expected something older.

-How old are you?
-Nineteen.

-You said you were thirty-three.
-You said you were twenty-five.

I did. But ... well ...
it was ... well, yee-see,

uh, probo-probo-probably because
I thought that a thirty-three-year-old guy

would want somebody
who was twenty-five.

Heh heh heh ... Oh, boy.
Uh, this is a ... big bust, huh?

Why? I mean, the stuff we talked about.
We really connected.

-What's your real name?
-Uh ... Pam.

Pam! That's a pretty name.

-Thunder ----
-Chris.

Chris. Um, I ... uh, I,
I don't think that ...

Well, what would we really have in common?

Pam, we have spent the last four months
writing back and forth about everything.

Seems to me we have a lot in common.

I mean, you're not going to
let yourself get thrown

by this whole age thing, are you?

Well ... I, I was just ... wondering i-i-if,
if we would be that compatible.

-Maybe we should find out.
-Sorry!!? Ahem ... sorry?

-Let's have dinner together.
-Okay.

-You want to eat here?
-Um, uh, no.

Let-let's go someplace else.

Excuse me, ma'am,
put your hands behind your back please.

-What!?
-You have the right to remain silent.

-Christopher!
-Mom!

-Mom!?
-I thought this was happening. Oh god!

-Mom!
-Mom? What, wh-wh-wh-what is going on?

This boy is sixteen years old, ma'am.
And you are under arrest. Let's go.

-You're now second-chair?
-Yes.

Well, where is Ally?

Oh, Ally got arrested
for attempted statutory rape.

But I read the file,
I'm up to speed.

She got arrested for
attempted statutory...rape?

It was a big mistake.
I thought that he was thirty-three.

He told me that he was thirty-three
the entire time.

And ... until the end
when we were going to have dinner,

I thought he was nineteen.

But I never ever once knew
that he was sixteen

until his mother jumped out.

Uh ... there's an allegation of
computer sex ...?

Once. Only once. ...
Oh my god. Oh my god.

I had computer sex
with a sixteen-year-old!

-Uh, wh-what exactly ----
-Never mind!
-Oh forget it!

Wa-was it a big computer
or a little Palm Pilot?

-Richard!
-I don't, I don't want him on this case!

Let's settle down.
We'll go in for arraignment.

Oh, my god ...

I will move for a probable cause.
Hopefully, we can make this go away.

-What was the name of the computer?
-Never mind the computer!

O-or the software?
Or was it the hardware? ...

Bygones.
They ask the tough questions.

32445, Commonwealth vs. Alison McBeal, on ----

Waive reading!

John Cage, Richard Fish and Renee Radick
for the defendant, Your Honor.

Only three lawyers?

This charge is so outlandish, Your Honor,

it takes three lawyers to
convey the necessary outrage.

Good one!

How, uh, old is the boy?
Sixteen, Your Honor. Here he is.

Stand up, young man.

Defense seeks an immediate
probable cause hearing.

Yes. Probable cause,
uh ... two o'clock? Adjourned.

Falling in love -- it's ...
it's not something you choose to do.

All right. But why not tell your husband
this had happened?

Because at first, we didn't know
if it was just going to be an affair,

or if it was going to be something short.

I didn't want it to destroy my marriage,
I guess.

Falling in love isn't something
you choose to do.

You chose to sleep with him,
didn't you, Susan?

-That was a choice you made?
-Yes.

And the decision to lie --
that was a choice too, wasn't it, Susan?

I'm not proud of this.

When you knew that this new,
true love was for real,

Mrs. Hanks, did you then
tell your husband?

No.

Well, then how did he find out about it?

He walked in on us.

He walked in on you?

Is that when you decided to be honest
about it?

When he walked in and
discovered your legs spread ---

-Objection!
-Mr. Albert!

Till death do you part, Mr. Hanks,
you took the vow with that man!

Or were you just lying at that ceremony, too?

Mr. Albert, I said that is enough!

What was up with that, Mark?

Well, you were harder on her than,
than you were on the guy we're suing.

We need to have the jury's anger, Ally.
When they go back to the ----

-Can we talk about your anger?
-No, we cannot.

-I'm bored.
-Then, go then, Ling. Ally's back.

That hurt my feelings.

-Ally!
-Oh! Hey-y-y. Hi, Brian.

Oh well, the judge has suspended
the closings till this afternoon.

So, how do you feel about
getting that coffee?

Now? ... Oh! Uh, well, uh ... gee.

Um, actually, I have a probable cause hearing.

-Not your own, I hope.
-Oh, who told?

-Does everybody know everything?
-I, I was kidding.

-Oh ...
-Is it your own?

Well, it's a small, uh, you ...
kind of like a ...

a parking ticket kind of thing.

-Mm-hm. Uh, what is it, exactly?
-Oh ... You know, statue ...

-Statue?
-Tory. Statutory rape.

Oh, i-it was a big mistake.
I, I was corresponding

with this guy on the Internet
who I thought was thirty-three,

and ... and some of the exchanges
were a little sexual.

Uh, PG! Nothing R. ...

Well, maybe a little R,
but nothing NC-17.

Which is good 'cause he turned out
not to be seventeen, he was sixteen.

But who knew?
And then I met him for coffee,

and he told me that he was nineteen,
and I was going to have dinner with him.

And that is all --
dinner with a nineteen-year-old,

who as I said was really sixteen.

And ... and, oh,
who, who can keep it all straight?

Uh, kids grow up so fast these days,

and I got arrested.

I really am innocent.

You, in fact, discussed your ages
in your e-mails, did you not?

Yes. He told me he was thirty-three.

Okay. How old did you
represent yourself to be?

Is that important?

-How old?
-Hh. Twenty-five.

Oh please.

Uh, wh-what ... Okay.
Uh, could you ... Ms. McBeal?

What, what was the nature of your,
your corresondence?

Um ... w-w-well, well,
we mostly talked about everyday stuff.

What movies we liked, what books.

We didn't talk much about sex. ...

I'm sorry, but ... is it just me,
or did this mike just get loud and squeal?

-I'm afraid it's just you.
-Figures.

Uh, Ms. McBeal, at any time
during your correspondence,

did you ever know Mr. Emerson
to be underage?

No. Never. Absolutely not.

-Didn't he talk a lot about his parents?
-Yes. But a lot of people do.

-And his favorite movie -- what was it?
-The Spy Who Shagged Me.

And his favorite television show?
Dawson's Creek.

But a lot of old men
pervs like to watch nubile teens

You did in fact engage in
rather graphic sexual dialog with him, didn't you?

One time, we talked about
sex. ... One time.

You attempted to arouse each other
sexually by e-mails?

Yes, we talked about sex
for the purpose of arousing each other.

But I never knew that he was sixteen
when I talked about sex.

I don't get my jollies helping young boys
to get erections! Trust me.

Come in.

-Mark?
-Ally. How did it go?

Oh, um ... the, the, the sixteen-year-old is
going to testify this afternoon,

an-and the judge will rule from there.

-How's it going with you?
-Me? I'm just working on my closing.

Why did you start railing on
that woman like that?

Well, we're going for a big judgment here.

We need to tap into the jury's outrage.

I go rough sometimes.
It's strategy

Seemed a little beyond strategy to me.

Well, I think that your judgment
might be clouded here.

You think about that.

I've heard it happens to people
when they're on trial for statutory rape.

What was the strategy in that remark?

I'm sorry.

Is everything okay?

Well ... uh ... would you ever ...
want to ... do the ... do the closing?

Sorry?

Never mind. You know, I was just
thinking maybe you should do the closing.

Then, when I think about it again,
it's just ridiculous!

Uh, it should be me. Never mind.

-Are you really okay, Mark?
-Oh, I'm just fine.

I'm just ... I'm going to ...
work on my summation.

-I'll see you in court. Okay?
-Sure.

It was my intent to lie.

Now, why is that, Chris?

Well, y'know, I,
I met girls my own age at school.

I wanted to hook up with an older woman.
Someone with real experience.

Uh, p-pekee-eh-pokee-eh-p ...

These e-mails, now, they weren't
sex talk as a rule, were they?

Only the last one.
It was awesome!

Thank you.
But the majority ----

And then, when we met,
hoh-oh, oh my god!

Yeah, uh, what, uh ... But wait.
N-nothing happened after you met, right?

No. But, you know,
I, I was wanting to meet an older woman.

And she said she was twenty-five.

Then when I saw her,
she was more like thirty-five!

It was like a dream!

Why was it, uh, like a dream?

Well, The Graduate is
one of my favorite films.

Hers too.

She would like to be Anne Bancroft
in an affair like that.

She would say,

"Society so accepts older men
going after younger girls,

hurray for the older woman
who pursues the young boy."

Hoh-oh, man,
I couldn't wait to meet her!

She turned out to be
older than Anne Bancroft!

Okay. Did she ever know
you were a young man?

No.

Thank you, Chris, for your ...
delightful testimony.

Nice, John! Really nice!

How was I to know you
idolized Anne Bancroft? Loverlips!

You should have just got in
that he never told me his age and left it at that!

I tried!
The little bastard kept adding things.

Three lawyers, he calls me thirty-five,
and not one of you object!

A-a-all right. Look.

Let's look at the positive side.
She didn't revoke bail ----

-Oh!
-I keep getting hit ...

Let's all settle down.

She said she'd rule in an hour.
Let's get some coffee.

I can't. I have to go to trial upstairs.

Maybe the last trial
before I get disbarred!

There are very few things in life
as precious as friendship.

The best part of marriage,
even, is friendship.

And if we don't associate a duty with it,

a duty of loyalty, honesty, care ... care,
then what have we got, really?

Is it too much of a burden to ask
that friends be honest with each other?

Nobody here, nobody, is suggesting
we devalue friendship.

I would agree with opposing counsel

there are very few things in life
to cherish more.

He likened it to marriage --
I would agree.

It can have the same intensity of emotion.

It can be just as complex sometimes.

It can be predicated on
deep childhood bonds or ...

or in this town, simply the Red Sox.

And, like marriage, a friendship
can be very difficult to quantify.

And, like marriage, the courts have

no business trying to assess blame
when one falls apart.

Now, clearly, Peter and Susan Hanks
feel a great deal of contrition

for causing Mr. Bender pain.
And everybody here knows,

including Mr. Bender,
that was not their intent.

Well, there is absolutely
no evidence whatsoever

that Ms. McBeal knew
she was communicating with a minor.

The charges are dismissed.

But before we adjourn,

let me assume the role
of an older but wiser Mrs. Solomon.

I imagine you'd like that.

Now, I don't think Ms. McBeal is a predator,
but there are plenty out there.

And meeting up in person with someone
you only know through e-mail,

that's insane.

You're lucky this is all that happened.

Now, we're adjourned.

Well ... hope you learned your lesson!

You were the one pushing me
to meet him, Renee!

-Ally? ... Sorry. I ... I didn't mean for ----
-I, I, I know.

I turn seventeen next week.

Chris, what you need to do is

go out and find yourself
a nice seventeen-year-old.

A-and if she has a friend, I get ----

Bye, Chris.

-Loverlips. One kiss?
-Well.

On the cheek!

-How was that?
-Totally awesome!

What?

-What happened?
-She's a free woman.

Nelle. Just the person I wanted to see.

Well, if it's naked.
You're out of luck.

I'd sooner puke my intestines
and snorkel in them than see you naked!

This is getting worse!

I talked to Mr. Penale Esquevez.

You didn't just have the one meeting

when I was stuck in the elavator
with unmatching socks.

You've been calling him,

you told him it was in his best interest
to let you handle his work.

-Oh, right. I did do that.
-Why?

Because it's the truth,
you little Mayor of Munchkin Land!

Penale Esquevez is kind of a weird name.

He doesn't need to walk into court
with a weird lawyer. You little imp!

She called me the mayor of Munchkin Land.

And a little imp.

Mr. Foreman, has the jury ...
Oh, just read it.

The Bender vs. Hanks

on the count of
negligent infliction of emotonal distress,

we, the jury find in favor of the plaintiff.

And we order the defendant
to pay damages

in the amount of 10,000 dollars.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

thank you for your service.
We're dismissed.

Ten thousand?

That's the price tag
they put on friendship?

Maybe it's the price tag they put on love.

Oh, Jimmy, I'm sorry.

I wish I could have done better.

Oh, you did great, Mark.

Well, I'm not sure who won.
But I'm glad to see you're still at large.

Thank you.

Listen. If you're
still interested in that coffee ... um,

-I realize I'm a bit old.
-Funny.

I haven't scared you away
with my near-criminal behavior?

I'm daunted. But, uh,
I'm addicted to caffein.

-Why don't I buy you a drink?
-Sounds great.

¢Ü You had better hold on,
hold on to what you got

That Pope Paul thing --
do they really do that?

No.

-Hmm. And the gophering?
-Made it up.

I can see you're hurt, but, John,
we all have to work together.

You don't think Nelle hurts a little, too?

No. She's a rich, bitch,
cold-hearted ice queen,

elitist, snob,
vicious witch on a good day.

And a tightwad, cheap ass too,
'cause I paid for everything

Well, I can see you're softening.

So, what happens after the drink?
We go back and hop onto our computers?

Funny again.

Maybe we should dance
before you fall behind.

Uh, um, I'm not much of a good dancer.

Oh, well, that's okay,
because I am. Come on.

Come on, Biscuit.

-It's been too long.
-Indeed.

-I think we have something here, Elaine.
-It's about time. Come on.

¢Ü You had better hold on,
hold on to what you got

'Cause if you think that nobody wants it,

just throw it away, and you will see

Someone will have it

before you count one, two, three

Yes you will, yes you will