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1
00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:05,405
Ooh, its freezing
out here.
2
00:00:05,437 --> 00:00:07,740
Would you like me to...
heat things up?
3
00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:11,211
No, I want to get in the hot tub
before I lose a toe.
4
00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:14,214
Oh. That is bright!
5
00:00:14,246 --> 00:00:16,649
Yeah, a new neighbor
put in floodlights.
6
00:00:16,682 --> 00:00:18,150
Huh.
7
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:19,753
So, shall we?
8
00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,653
No. I don't want
9
00:00:21,687 --> 00:00:23,856
to take my robe off
under a spotlight.
10
00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:26,559
This is a candle body.
11
00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,094
Howdy, neighbors!
12
00:00:28,128 --> 00:00:30,196
We havent met
yet. Im Andy.
13
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:32,231
Oh. Hello.
Nice to meet you.
14
00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:36,301
You know, your new balcony kind
of looks right over our fence.
15
00:00:36,335 --> 00:00:39,572
You might want to put up some trees.
We can see everything.
16
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:43,643
You can,
17
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:43,643
but its okay
if you don't.
18
00:00:45,244 --> 00:00:47,447
So, can you turn
your lights off?
19
00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:48,881
Sorry, they're
motion-sensored.
20
00:00:48,914 --> 00:00:51,884
Theyll go off in a minute.
Just try to stay still.
21
00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:55,655
What are we gonna
do about this?
22
00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:58,158
I say we wait until
his lights go off,
23
00:00:58,191 --> 00:01:02,161
and then I make hot,
motionless love to you.
24
00:01:04,763 --> 00:01:08,501
Dont move.
Its go time.
25
00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:14,174
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
26
00:01:14,206 --> 00:01:17,644
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
27
00:01:17,676 --> 00:01:18,978
♪ The Earth began to cool
28
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:21,881
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
29
00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:23,917
♪ We built the Wall
30
00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:23,917
We built the pyramids
31
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,819
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
32
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:29,222
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
33
00:01:29,254 --> 00:01:30,522
Bang!
34
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,599
And his new balcony looks
right down on our hot tub,
35
00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:43,168
which meant we
couldnt do anything.
36
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:46,906
So you gave your kids
Benadryl for nothing?
37
00:01:48,540 --> 00:01:52,277
Why do I share with you?
Youre such a yenta.
38
00:01:52,311 --> 00:01:53,445
Are we done talking about
39
00:01:53,479 --> 00:01:55,247
Howards failed
conjugal relations?
40
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,484
I have an actual
Nobel Prize crisis to deal with.
41
00:01:57,516 --> 00:01:59,819
Has anything changed since the
last time you talked about it?
42
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,421
No.
43
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,421
Is there anything
you can do about it?
44
00:02:01,453 --> 00:02:04,557
No.
45
00:02:01,453 --> 00:02:04,557
Then shut up
or go wait in the car!
46
00:02:04,590 --> 00:02:05,692
Excuse me.
47
00:02:05,724 --> 00:02:07,459
Remember you all came here
48
00:02:07,493 --> 00:02:09,329
to check out
my cool new laser?
49
00:02:09,361 --> 00:02:12,331
Oh, right. Im gonna go
wait in the car.
50
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:15,335
The best part is that
its europium-based, so...
51
00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:16,836
And then Andy said
if we want privacy,
52
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:19,405
we should plant
some trees.
53
00:02:19,438 --> 00:02:22,408
The only way I know how to
do that is to give a dollar
54
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:25,277
and a tree shows
up in Israel.
55
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:28,348
Okay. Anyway, so because
its europium-based...
56
00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:30,483
Hey. I need some help
with a meteorite I found.
57
00:02:30,516 --> 00:02:32,252
Ah. Id be happy to.
58
00:02:32,284 --> 00:02:33,353
Oh, no, I meant Raj.
59
00:02:33,385 --> 00:02:35,420
I really need an astrophysicist.
60
00:02:35,454 --> 00:02:36,222
Wow.
61
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,457
This is exactly like
a dream I had.
62
00:02:38,490 --> 00:02:41,895
Except in the dream,
youre Gal Gadot.
63
00:02:41,927 --> 00:02:46,598
I don't really have dreams,
when I sleep or in life.
64
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,435
Anyway...
65
00:02:49,468 --> 00:02:51,603
I X-rayed this meteorite,
and it looks like theres
66
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,639
some sort of organic signature
inside of it,
67
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,942
but I could really use
another opinion.
68
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,942
Well, great.
69
00:02:55,974 --> 00:02:57,877
Lets go check it out.
70
00:02:55,974 --> 00:02:57,877
Cool.
71
00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,679
Im gonna stay here
and show Howard...
72
00:02:59,711 --> 00:03:01,514
I want to see it!
73
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:05,551
Okay. Well, thanks for
stopping by.
74
00:03:09,021 --> 00:03:11,591
Screw them. Thats cool.
75
00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:15,527
Hey, Im not sure
were in the right line.
76
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,729
Is this for
the city zoning office?
77
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,729
Yes, it is.
78
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:20,466
Or, as we call it here,
"the zone zone."
79
00:03:22,968 --> 00:03:25,604
No, we don't.
80
00:03:25,638 --> 00:03:27,407
Thats Linda.
81
00:03:27,439 --> 00:03:30,842
Ignore her.
Shes going through the change.
82
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,045
Now, how can I help you?
83
00:03:33,079 --> 00:03:34,079
Our neighbor built
a balcony that looks
84
00:03:34,112 --> 00:03:36,348
right into our backyard,
and were trying to see
85
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:37,683
if theres anything
we can do about it.
86
00:03:37,716 --> 00:03:39,686
Well, you have come
to the right place.
87
00:03:39,718 --> 00:03:41,987
You know, a lot of people handle
this type of thing online,
88
00:03:42,021 --> 00:03:44,557
but I always say
nothing beats the human touch.
89
00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:45,792
Oh, but don't worry.
90
00:03:45,824 --> 00:03:47,659
Im not gonna
actually touch you.
91
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:51,430
We had quite the informative
meeting on that.
92
00:03:51,463 --> 00:03:54,400
We just want a little
privacy in our backyard.
93
00:03:54,433 --> 00:03:57,270
You know, for...
94
00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:01,407
Maybe we shouldve
done this online.
95
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:04,310
No, no, no, no.
The zone zone is a safe zone.
96
00:04:04,343 --> 00:04:07,379
Stop saying "zone zone"!
97
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,414
So, is there anything we can do?
98
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:12,518
Absolutely. Do you know if they
have permits for the balcony?
99
00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:14,387
Oh, no. We were hoping
you could check.
100
00:04:14,419 --> 00:04:16,389
I certainly can. I just
need you to fill out a form,
101
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:18,625
and we have them available
in Armenian, Chinese,
102
00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:22,762
Cambodian, English, Farsi,
Korean, Spanish and Vietnamese.
103
00:04:24,096 --> 00:04:26,598
Well, English, obviously.
104
00:04:26,632 --> 00:04:28,468
Well, were not
allowed to presume.
105
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:31,437
That was a whole other meeting.
106
00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:33,973
So we just fill out
the form and thats it?
107
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:37,009
Oh, no. No, you need to
fill it out, and then you need
108
00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:39,444
to bring it down to
the Office of Code Compliance.
109
00:04:39,478 --> 00:04:42,081
Now, if your neighbors don't
have a permit, you can file
110
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,417
an official complaint,
but if they do have a permit,
111
00:04:44,449 --> 00:04:46,519
then you have to make the case
that the balcony constitutes
112
00:04:46,552 --> 00:04:49,454
a nuisance, an encumbrance
or an encroachment,
113
00:04:49,488 --> 00:04:50,856
and you have to decide which,
114
00:04:50,889 --> 00:04:52,992
because they are three
totally separate forms.
115
00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:56,896
This is starting to seem like
more trouble than its worth.
116
00:04:56,928 --> 00:04:58,697
I know, right?
117
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,504
You okay?
Yeah.
118
00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:09,074
Great, cause you just bought
that whole row of Batmans.
119
00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:10,776
Sorry, I...
120
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,615
And now you bought Aquaman.
Good choice.
121
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:19,451
If you want cold medicine,
122
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,454
Stuart has the entire run
of DayQuils,
123
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:24,624
including the rare
"DayQuilt" misprint from 1996.
124
00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:28,461
What can I say?
Im a collector.
125
00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:31,096
Thanks, but Im fine.
I think its just allergies.
126
00:05:31,129 --> 00:05:32,165
- Hi, guys. Hey.
- Hey.
127
00:05:32,197 --> 00:05:33,199
Oh, heads up.
128
00:05:33,231 --> 00:05:35,634
If that Aquaman feels wet,
its not a gimmick.
129
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,470
Leonard sneezed on it.
130
00:05:37,502 --> 00:05:40,406
You sick?
131
00:05:37,502 --> 00:05:40,406
Uh, its just allergies.
132
00:05:40,439 --> 00:05:41,973
Oh. So, check it out.
133
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:44,509
This meteorite that Bert found
is really cool.
134
00:05:44,543 --> 00:05:46,512
We did a spectrographic
analysis, and theres...
135
00:05:46,545 --> 00:05:48,747
theres definitely something
going on inside.
136
00:05:48,781 --> 00:05:50,682
Well, hey, I-if you want,
137
00:05:50,716 --> 00:05:52,951
we could use my new laser
to cut it open.
138
00:05:52,985 --> 00:05:55,420
Well, thanks, but Berts
got this water-cooled,
139
00:05:55,454 --> 00:05:56,622
diamond-bladed saw.
140
00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:59,891
Well, sure, but with my laser,
youd get a thinner slice,
141
00:05:59,925 --> 00:06:02,562
which would make for
a better sample.
142
00:05:59,925 --> 00:06:02,562
Whoa, whoa.
143
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:05,665
Youre not gonna cut
open a meteor, are you?
144
00:06:06,798 --> 00:06:09,601
Have you not learned anything
from comic books?
145
00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:14,072
Space viruses?
Pod people?
146
00:06:14,106 --> 00:06:16,576
I sell nothing
but warnings.
147
00:06:17,776 --> 00:06:19,211
C-Calm down, Stuart.
148
00:06:19,245 --> 00:06:20,913
Youre being a little crazy.
149
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,648
Oh, is he?
Is he being crazy?
150
00:06:22,682 --> 00:06:26,052
Or is he the only one around
here whos making any sense?
151
00:06:27,552 --> 00:06:31,624
Its nice they
found each other.
152
00:06:31,656 --> 00:06:34,526
Yeah. Uh, so, anyway,
you want to use my laser?
153
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,028
Eh, sorry.
Its kind of Berts thing,
154
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,997
and he wants to do it
his way, so...
155
00:06:38,029 --> 00:06:39,465
Okay.
156
00:06:39,499 --> 00:06:41,233
Yeah, thats cool.
157
00:06:41,266 --> 00:06:43,802
Just seems dumb
to not use the laser.
158
00:06:43,836 --> 00:06:47,639
Not as dumb as
unleashing a plague on mankind,
159
00:06:47,673 --> 00:06:49,776
but, hey, what do we know?
160
00:06:49,808 --> 00:06:52,144
Literally nothing.
161
00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:58,784
We spent half the day down
at the city planning office,
162
00:06:58,817 --> 00:07:00,052
and didn't solve a thing.
163
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,254
Now we have to go
back tomorrow.
164
00:07:01,286 --> 00:07:04,557
The planning office?
You lucky ducks.
165
00:07:04,589 --> 00:07:06,725
Yeah, this one made
me go for ice cream
166
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,261
and talk about her day.
167
00:07:08,293 --> 00:07:11,163
Spoiler alert:
it was fine.
168
00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:15,668
It wasnt
169
00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:15,668
fine.
I got trapped in an elevator.
170
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:17,702
I may have missed a few details.
171
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:20,939
The bottom of my cone
was drippy.
172
00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:22,675
So now we have to download
all these forms
173
00:07:22,707 --> 00:07:24,644
- and fill them out.
- We get it.
174
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:27,947
Your life is great.
Stop rubbing it in.
175
00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:30,016
Yeah, quit it.
176
00:07:30,048 --> 00:07:32,117
Is one of the forms
177
00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:34,120
the 599B/C?
178
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:36,755
Because, if so, it has
a doozy of a typo.
179
00:07:36,788 --> 00:07:38,057
I don't know.
180
00:07:38,090 --> 00:07:39,992
All right, well, I don't
want to spoil anything,
181
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:43,196
but you might want to start
practicing your "siglature."
182
00:07:45,697 --> 00:07:47,567
Sheldon, if you like this
stuff, why don't you come
183
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,134
and do it with us?
184
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,134
Or instead of us?
185
00:07:49,168 --> 00:07:50,937
Do you mean it?
186
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,939
No, no, wait, its too late.
You cant take it back. Yes.
187
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,175
Well, Amy,
looks like the elevator
188
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,511
might have been
the high point of your day.
189
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,314
Hey, wheres Raj?
190
00:08:01,346 --> 00:08:02,380
Uh, hes working with Bert.
191
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:05,151
Theyre probably cutting
their stupid meteorite open
192
00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:07,286
with their stupid
diamond saw.
193
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,122
Are you okay?
194
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,122
Yeah.
195
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,324
Im just a little run-down.
196
00:08:11,356 --> 00:08:12,692
It might be a head cold.
197
00:08:15,595 --> 00:08:17,295
Purell.
198
00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:19,865
Purell.
199
00:08:20,832 --> 00:08:22,668
Purell.
200
00:08:22,701 --> 00:08:24,803
Purell.
201
00:08:26,805 --> 00:08:28,841
Can I top anybody off?
202
00:08:32,077 --> 00:08:34,046
Its just so frustrating.
203
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,682
I-I know my laser would be
way more efficient.
204
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:39,818
Theyre gonna lose so much
meteorite due to kerf loss.
205
00:08:39,851 --> 00:08:44,657
Mm. Im sorry your friends wont
let you play kerf with them.
206
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:47,293
Dont make it sound childish.
207
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:49,195
Its the scientific word
for dust.
208
00:08:49,227 --> 00:08:51,330
What was wrong with "dust"?
209
00:08:52,731 --> 00:08:55,368
Are you sure youre
not just a little jealous?
210
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,904
No. Its just, my way is better,
but they wont even consider it.
211
00:08:58,937 --> 00:09:00,840
Oh, well, its their loss.
Look, why don't you go to bed.
212
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,674
I'll run out and get
you some medicine.
213
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,674
Ah, its okay.
214
00:09:02,707 --> 00:09:05,244
Stuart gave me some when
I was at the comic book store.
215
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:08,947
Really? Youre taking medicine
from Stuart?
216
00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:11,918
Doesnt he need,
like, all of it?
217
00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:13,385
Mm, hes got plenty.
218
00:09:13,418 --> 00:09:16,989
His pill caddy is,
like, this big.
219
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:18,323
All right, well,
why don't you go to bed.
220
00:09:18,356 --> 00:09:19,892
I'll sleep out here
on the couch.
221
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:21,293
No, no, no, you take the bed.
I'll stay out here.
222
00:09:21,326 --> 00:09:23,328
Even better.
Sweet dreams, snot bag.
223
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,336
See what
Im talking about?
224
00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,071
Oh, yes.
225
00:09:32,104 --> 00:09:34,173
Oh, that is
textbook encroachment.
226
00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:37,076
And I know
because I have the textbook.
227
00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:40,178
First edition.
228
00:09:40,211 --> 00:09:42,213
Watch what happens
when you move.
229
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,383
Oh!
230
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,318
Oh, boy, you werent kidding.
231
00:09:46,351 --> 00:09:49,922
Oh, those are 10,000
lumens if they're a lumen.
232
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,356
Well, you know
what they say:
233
00:09:51,389 --> 00:09:55,226
when life give you lumens,
make lumen-ade.
234
00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:56,828
Was that a joke?
235
00:09:56,861 --> 00:09:58,397
Yes.
236
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,900
Based on the premise that
"lumen" sounds like "lemon"?
237
00:10:01,933 --> 00:10:05,104
Yes.
238
00:10:05,136 --> 00:10:06,404
Thats hilarious.
239
00:10:08,139 --> 00:10:10,275
Okay, what is the setback
on property lines
240
00:10:10,308 --> 00:10:11,344
in this neighborhood?
241
00:10:11,376 --> 00:10:13,044
Oh, I don't know.
242
00:10:13,078 --> 00:10:15,681
It must be on the permit
from when you built your deck.
243
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:17,216
Uh, yeah,
my dad built this.
244
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:18,384
We didn't do
the whole permit thing.
245
00:10:21,386 --> 00:10:22,955
Here we go.
246
00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:24,789
Are you saying
247
00:10:24,823 --> 00:10:27,293
Im standing
on an unpermitted deck?
248
00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:30,363
Its been here for years,
Sheldon. Its fine.
249
00:10:30,395 --> 00:10:31,496
How did the inspector
not flag this
250
00:10:31,529 --> 00:10:33,399
when he came to check out
your bathroom renovation?
251
00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:34,299
Uh...
252
00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:39,437
Are you telling me
that I have showered
253
00:10:39,471 --> 00:10:41,139
in an uninspected bathroom?
254
00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:42,875
You showered
in our house?
255
00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:45,378
You made me hold your children.
What did you expect me to do?
256
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:53,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
257
00:10:57,423 --> 00:11:00,493
You think
you know people.
258
00:11:00,525 --> 00:11:02,727
You
259
00:11:00,525 --> 00:11:02,727
do
260
00:11:00,525 --> 00:11:02,727
know
them, Sheldon.
261
00:11:02,761 --> 00:11:04,764
Yeah, but-but do we?
Do we
262
00:11:02,761 --> 00:11:04,764
really
263
00:11:02,761 --> 00:11:04,764
know them?
264
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,833
Yes!
265
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:10,936
Theyre rule breakers, Amy.
266
00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:12,203
And you know what we do
with rule breakers?
267
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:14,273
Complain about them
to our spouse
268
00:11:14,306 --> 00:11:16,475
until shes ready to drive
into oncoming traffic?
269
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,211
You cant cross
a double yellow line.
270
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:21,147
What is this, the Purge?
271
00:11:21,179 --> 00:11:23,149
So, I guess
youre not gonna help them?
272
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:24,149
Oh, Im gonna help them...
273
00:11:24,182 --> 00:11:27,286
help them get on the right side
of Johnny Law.
274
00:11:27,318 --> 00:11:29,221
Oh, you cant
turn them in.
275
00:11:29,254 --> 00:11:30,755
The citys gonna
make them rip out
276
00:11:30,789 --> 00:11:32,158
all the work theyve
done and do it over.
277
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:33,893
It would be the end
of your friendship.
278
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,894
What choice do I have?
These are the rules.
279
00:11:35,927 --> 00:11:37,962
Sheldon, I am begging you.
Please, don't do this.
280
00:11:37,996 --> 00:11:41,866
You know who doesn't get permits
for their decks? Animals.
281
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:44,269
Animals don't have decks.
282
00:11:44,302 --> 00:11:47,206
Oh, really? I have
one word for you: beavers.
283
00:11:53,345 --> 00:11:55,313
Bert?
284
00:11:55,346 --> 00:11:57,883
Raj?
285
00:11:57,917 --> 00:11:59,985
Huh.
286
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:04,990
Cant believe
they're gonna cut that
287
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:08,027
with this punk-ass diamond saw.
288
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,467
Geez.
289
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,048
Oh, hey, look.
290
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:32,017
"Siglature."
291
00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:35,287
Next!
292
00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:35,287
Hello.
293
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:38,990
Hi! Welcome to the zone zone.
294
00:12:39,024 --> 00:12:40,993
Oh, thats funny!
295
00:12:41,025 --> 00:12:44,429
Hey, I also have
a joke for you.
296
00:12:44,462 --> 00:12:46,532
Lumen-ade.
297
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,235
Maybe I told it wrong.
298
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,037
Well, how can I help you?
299
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:54,340
If I know someone in violation
of the building code,
300
00:12:54,373 --> 00:12:55,908
should I turn them in?
301
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:57,308
Interesting question.
302
00:12:57,342 --> 00:12:59,445
Yeah, I know. Because,
on the one hand,
303
00:12:59,477 --> 00:13:01,913
Confucius says we owe
a greater responsibility
304
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:05,183
to people were close with
rather than to society at large.
305
00:13:05,216 --> 00:13:07,186
But, on the other hand,
Socrates says that
306
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:10,389
were obligated to obey
all laws, even unjust ones.
307
00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:12,191
And then, furthermore,
if were entertaining rules
308
00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:13,926
about when its okay
to break the rules,
309
00:13:13,958 --> 00:13:15,961
I should...
where does it end?
310
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:19,063
Well, for me, it ends at 5:00.
311
00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:23,501
Well, I just... I don't
know what to do.
312
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,270
All I can tell you
is that the building codes
313
00:13:25,303 --> 00:13:26,971
are there for everyones safety.
314
00:13:27,005 --> 00:13:29,575
Oh, so youre saying I have
no choice but to turn them in.
315
00:13:29,607 --> 00:13:32,076
I did not say that.
316
00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:33,546
But would you?
317
00:13:33,578 --> 00:13:37,349
And remember that I laughed
at your "zone zone" joke.
318
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,350
Its not even a joke!
319
00:13:39,384 --> 00:13:41,352
Oh, is that Linda back there?
320
00:13:41,386 --> 00:13:43,087
Yeah.
Aw.
321
00:13:43,121 --> 00:13:44,956
How are her hot
flashes? Any better?
322
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,296
Leonard,
what are you doing?!
323
00:13:50,328 --> 00:13:53,264
Showing you that this
is the better way.
324
00:13:53,298 --> 00:13:56,134
Stop! Whatevers
inside there is dangerous!
325
00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:01,373
Oh.
326
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,342
And pretty.
327
00:14:06,511 --> 00:14:08,147
What is that?
328
00:14:09,715 --> 00:14:12,183
Are you okay?
329
00:14:12,217 --> 00:14:16,087
Yeah, Im fine.
Im just feeling a little...
330
00:14:19,524 --> 00:14:22,193
...hungry.
331
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:26,298
Stop eating Bert!
332
00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:31,102
Keep eating Bert!
333
00:14:34,105 --> 00:14:35,073
Leonard.
334
00:14:35,106 --> 00:14:36,341
Leonard!
335
00:14:35,106 --> 00:14:36,341
What? What?
336
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,043
Youre having a bad dream.
337
00:14:38,076 --> 00:14:39,945
Oh, thank God.
338
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,279
I was eating my friends.
339
00:14:41,312 --> 00:14:43,414
Well, one friend
and one acquaintance.
340
00:14:43,448 --> 00:14:47,019
You know what, Berts okay.
Two friends.
341
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:49,020
Let me see
if youre running a fever.
342
00:14:49,053 --> 00:14:50,022
Yeah.
343
00:14:50,054 --> 00:14:52,091
Oh, yeah,
youre burning up.
344
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:58,563
Geez!
345
00:14:58,596 --> 00:14:59,631
Are you okay?
346
00:14:59,664 --> 00:15:01,033
That depends.
347
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,567
What-what color are my eyes?
348
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,035
I don't know, brown?
349
00:15:04,068 --> 00:15:06,471
No, green. No, wait, brown.
350
00:15:06,504 --> 00:15:10,208
Oh, good, Im awake.
351
00:15:11,376 --> 00:15:13,611
Howie, someones here
to see you.
352
00:15:13,645 --> 00:15:15,080
Hello.
353
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:17,416
Hey. Whats going on?
354
00:15:17,448 --> 00:15:19,985
Can you come
over here?
355
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:23,087
Sheldon, the deck is safe.
You can walk on it.
356
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:32,230
Oh, that gets the heart going.
Mm.
357
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,165
So, whats up?
358
00:15:34,198 --> 00:15:36,235
I went down to the city
Code Compliance Office
359
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:37,235
to turn you in.
360
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:38,470
Are you kidding?
361
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:39,337
But I didn't do it.
362
00:15:39,370 --> 00:15:42,173
I filled out the form
and then realized
363
00:15:42,206 --> 00:15:44,176
that the unwritten rules
of friendship
364
00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:46,378
are more important
than the written rules
365
00:15:46,412 --> 00:15:49,315
of the city of Altadenas
Zoning and Planning Department.
366
00:15:49,347 --> 00:15:51,082
Aw.
367
00:15:51,115 --> 00:15:53,351
Really? "Aw"?
368
00:15:53,384 --> 00:15:55,653
And youll be happy to know
that, while I was there,
369
00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:57,155
I did look into
your neighbors balcony,
370
00:15:57,188 --> 00:15:59,224
and it is encroaching
on your property line.
371
00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:01,159
I had all this pent-up
snitch energy,
372
00:16:01,192 --> 00:16:03,528
so I reported him hard.
373
00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:04,596
What did they say?
374
00:16:04,629 --> 00:16:06,264
Hes going
to have to remove it.
375
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,167
So the good guys win?
376
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,336
Well, I don't know
if Id call you the good guys.
377
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:11,703
Youre enforcing a law on him
378
00:16:11,736 --> 00:16:13,538
that youre willfully ignoring
yourselves.
379
00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:14,405
Uh, all right, fine.
380
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,241
So the morally
compromised guys win.
381
00:16:17,275 --> 00:16:18,576
Apparently so.
382
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:20,611
Now, if one of youd be
kind enough to take me home,
383
00:16:20,645 --> 00:16:21,779
I need to use my bathroom.
384
00:16:21,813 --> 00:16:23,315
Whats wrong
with the one here?
385
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:25,417
Im sorry, I want to live.
386
00:16:30,154 --> 00:16:32,390
Hey. You guys
got a second?
387
00:16:32,423 --> 00:16:34,726
Leonard, I told you, buddy.
We don't need to use your laser.
388
00:16:34,759 --> 00:16:37,363
Yeah, all we need
is Terry Brad-saw.
389
00:16:38,596 --> 00:16:40,732
Thats what I named my saw.
390
00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,235
No, I-I just wanted
391
00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:44,669
to apologize for yesterday.
392
00:16:44,702 --> 00:16:47,740
I just... I think
I was jealous, you know?
393
00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:50,274
Sheldon and Amy
might win a Nobel Prize,
394
00:16:50,308 --> 00:16:52,778
and now you guys have
this cool meteorite project.
395
00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:55,581
Really? Youre
jealous of us?
396
00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:55,581
Yeah.
397
00:16:55,614 --> 00:17:00,284
I even had this crazy dream
last night where I ate you both.
398
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,322
Seriously?
399
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,322
Uh...
400
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,856
I know. I was pretty out of it.
401
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:08,326
Whod you eat first?
402
00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,662
Oh. Uh, you.
403
00:17:10,695 --> 00:17:13,065
Nice.
404
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:24,209
This is just delightful.
405
00:17:24,242 --> 00:17:28,146
Do you think he knows were the
ones that got him in trouble?
406
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:29,882
Who cares?
407
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:29,882
I do. I met his wife.
408
00:17:29,914 --> 00:17:31,884
She seems really nice.
409
00:17:31,916 --> 00:17:34,420
Sorry about
the noise, neighbor!
410
00:17:34,452 --> 00:17:36,121
No problem!
411
00:17:36,154 --> 00:17:38,824
Hey, you guys know
a Sheldon Cooper?!
412
00:17:40,558 --> 00:17:42,560
No, we do not!
413
00:17:53,905 --> 00:17:57,476
Is it just me or has no one
been in the store for hours?
414
00:17:57,509 --> 00:17:59,478
Yeah, it is weirdly quiet.
415
00:18:02,647 --> 00:18:05,150
Nobodys in the street.
416
00:18:05,183 --> 00:18:07,352
Huh. Well,
thats strange.
417
00:18:07,385 --> 00:18:08,820
You thinking
what Im thinking?
418
00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:11,423
They cut that meteorite open
and unleashed a space plague?
419
00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:12,891
Exactly.
420
00:18:12,924 --> 00:18:14,893
Let me just lock up here.
421
00:18:14,926 --> 00:18:16,494
Okay. So what do we do?
422
00:18:16,528 --> 00:18:18,262
Uh, well, if this is
a worst-case scenario
423
00:18:18,297 --> 00:18:20,499
and were the last two
people alive, were gonna,
424
00:18:20,531 --> 00:18:22,366
were gonna have to
rebuild civilization.
425
00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:24,836
Do you have
any special skills?
426
00:18:24,869 --> 00:18:27,405
I can draw.
427
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:28,906
How bout you?
428
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,409
I can play clarinet.
429
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,211
Oh, I didn't know that.
430
00:18:32,243 --> 00:18:34,346
Yeah, ten years.
Ah.
431
00:18:34,378 --> 00:18:38,951
You know, it, uh,
might also be up to us to
432
00:18:38,983 --> 00:18:40,952
repopulate the Earth.
433
00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:43,188
Im okay with that.
434
00:18:43,221 --> 00:18:46,657
So... shall we?
435
00:18:48,693 --> 00:18:50,662
Wait here. Im gonna
brush my teeth.
436
00:18:57,635 --> 00:18:59,304
Sorry, were closed!
437
00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:03,241
This is going on Yelp!
438
00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:06,211
Captioning sponsored by
CBS, WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
439
00:19:06,244 --> 00:19:09,248
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
439
00:19:10,305 --> 00:19:16,901
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