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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net 2 00:00:01,441 --> 00:00:03,071 Previously on The Riches... 3 00:00:03,238 --> 00:00:05,290 Do you really think dad has a plan? 4 00:00:05,912 --> 00:00:06,979 He stole the money, 5 00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:08,164 ma lost the money, 6 00:00:08,358 --> 00:00:11,396 and now we're here in a dead guy's house. 7 00:00:11,842 --> 00:00:13,942 What kind of monster steals the family bank? 8 00:00:14,540 --> 00:00:16,100 We're gonna get caught, Di. 9 00:00:16,276 --> 00:00:18,071 How'd y'all get in the front gate? 10 00:00:18,305 --> 00:00:19,396 We live here. 11 00:00:19,536 --> 00:00:20,662 Hi, Doug Rich. 12 00:00:21,425 --> 00:00:22,997 Welcome to Panco, Doug. 13 00:00:23,331 --> 00:00:24,997 I hope your time here is fruitful. 14 00:00:25,741 --> 00:00:27,407 Dahlia, what are you doing here? 15 00:00:27,536 --> 00:00:30,199 Hugh offered me a job. I'm gonna take him up on it. 16 00:00:33,327 --> 00:00:34,382 How do you do? 17 00:00:34,558 --> 00:00:36,060 I'm mrs. Doug Rich. 18 00:00:40,142 --> 00:00:42,112 Just bring back the money, Di. 19 00:00:43,641 --> 00:00:45,330 Dale wants $40,000. 20 00:00:45,518 --> 00:00:47,888 That's a lot of silverware, dad. 21 00:00:48,251 --> 00:00:49,870 Goddamn small bills. 22 00:00:50,772 --> 00:00:52,955 Isn't this what got us in trouble in the first place? 23 00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:54,544 How long are we gonna stay? 24 00:00:54,773 --> 00:00:56,180 We get in, we get out. 25 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:00,751 I want an oath of protection. 26 00:01:29,246 --> 00:01:31,722 The car's right outside. Come on. Let's go. 27 00:01:34,451 --> 00:01:36,668 Dad, these people have been staring at us. 28 00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,912 No, honey. It's just your imagination. Hey, take your coat. 29 00:01:40,639 --> 00:01:42,868 Why can't we just park the rv at our house? 30 00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:45,735 They won't let it through the gate, buddy. It's too ugly. 31 00:01:45,946 --> 00:01:47,101 It's our home. 32 00:01:47,418 --> 00:01:48,649 Not anymore. 33 00:01:48,801 --> 00:01:50,021 This is a bad idea. 34 00:01:50,232 --> 00:01:52,907 What do you mean? Rvs there, there, there, over there. 35 00:01:53,264 --> 00:01:54,449 We're gonna blend right in. 36 00:01:54,554 --> 00:01:56,320 They're gonna break in the minute we leave. 37 00:01:56,446 --> 00:01:57,539 Maybe they're nice. 38 00:01:57,732 --> 00:01:59,234 Or maybe they're just like us. 39 00:02:01,093 --> 00:02:03,468 - We got history. We got culture. - Good morning. 40 00:02:04,336 --> 00:02:05,344 Community. 41 00:02:05,479 --> 00:02:06,852 You mean, we used to, right? 42 00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:08,135 No, sweetheart. 43 00:02:08,311 --> 00:02:10,704 We got it whether we're with travelers or not. 44 00:02:14,934 --> 00:02:16,154 I said hey. 45 00:02:16,717 --> 00:02:18,054 What are you, deaf? 46 00:02:18,476 --> 00:02:21,081 No, I'm not deaf, but I sometimes get a buzzing in my ears. 47 00:02:21,198 --> 00:02:22,207 Does that count? 48 00:02:22,312 --> 00:02:24,323 What she's trying to say is there's a fee. 49 00:02:24,534 --> 00:02:26,223 Oh, Jesus Christ, I knew it. 50 00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,023 You know what? 51 00:02:28,205 --> 00:02:30,615 You ain't got no right chargin' me no fee, buddy boy. 52 00:02:30,791 --> 00:02:32,321 True. We have no right, 53 00:02:33,189 --> 00:02:34,632 but it's 200 bucks. 54 00:02:34,913 --> 00:02:36,743 That'll cover the first week. 55 00:02:37,353 --> 00:02:39,288 We'll keep an eye on it for you guys. 56 00:02:39,511 --> 00:02:40,942 Don't you pay 'em, Wayne. 57 00:02:41,147 --> 00:02:42,508 Completely reasonable. 58 00:02:42,707 --> 00:02:43,892 Oh, my God. 59 00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:49,518 Thanks. You have nothin' to worry about. 60 00:02:51,501 --> 00:02:53,612 Come on. We got to get back to work. 61 00:02:53,835 --> 00:02:54,926 Screw work. 62 00:02:55,290 --> 00:02:57,237 We've been gone two days. 63 00:02:57,465 --> 00:02:59,999 Yeah, let's not mention the other little thing. 64 00:03:00,234 --> 00:03:02,076 What, you mean the money we stole? 65 00:03:02,322 --> 00:03:04,504 Jesus, sam, he just said not to mention it. 66 00:03:15,335 --> 00:03:16,801 Stay calm, baby. 67 00:03:20,329 --> 00:03:22,123 Well, what's wrong, Kimmie? 68 00:03:22,816 --> 00:03:24,505 Hugh's gone crazy. 69 00:03:24,733 --> 00:03:25,977 He's crazy. 70 00:03:26,182 --> 00:03:29,631 He thinks someone robbed him, stole $40,000 from his safe. 71 00:03:30,012 --> 00:03:33,073 He's not letting anyone leave until he finds who it was. 72 00:03:35,818 --> 00:03:36,827 Your name? 73 00:03:41,105 --> 00:03:42,853 What's your real name, Tony? 74 00:03:43,193 --> 00:03:44,471 It's Tony. 75 00:03:44,729 --> 00:03:45,750 It is. 76 00:03:46,312 --> 00:03:47,333 Shit. 77 00:03:48,748 --> 00:03:50,602 Where the hell have you been? 78 00:03:55,161 --> 00:03:57,613 ~SeriesSub~ present 79 00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:02,830 Transcript: swsub.com 80 00:04:03,987 --> 00:04:06,987 Synchro: Hutch 81 00:04:06,988 --> 00:04:09,988 Synchro: Golgi 82 00:04:11,603 --> 00:04:15,040 Season 01 - Episode 08 X Spots the Mark 83 00:04:17,843 --> 00:04:19,245 Been gone two days, 84 00:04:19,444 --> 00:04:20,805 same as the money. 85 00:04:21,168 --> 00:04:22,235 What money? 86 00:04:22,434 --> 00:04:24,968 The 40 grand in my safe. 87 00:04:25,842 --> 00:04:26,915 Ring a bell? 88 00:04:27,138 --> 00:04:28,264 You saying you suspect us? 89 00:04:28,452 --> 00:04:30,458 I suspect everybody who works for me, 90 00:04:31,467 --> 00:04:33,355 everybody who had access to Panco 91 00:04:33,531 --> 00:04:34,950 on the day of the crime. 92 00:04:35,196 --> 00:04:37,624 Hugh, as your counsel, I must warn you 93 00:04:37,847 --> 00:04:40,510 that forcing your employees to undertake a lie detector test 94 00:04:40,791 --> 00:04:42,879 is completely illegal. 95 00:04:44,023 --> 00:04:46,146 Potential liability is enormous. 96 00:04:46,322 --> 00:04:47,967 It's scientifically useless. Am I right? 97 00:04:48,123 --> 00:04:50,962 Where the hell have you been for the last two days? 98 00:04:51,894 --> 00:04:52,903 Food poisoning. 99 00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:54,216 Bullshit. 100 00:04:54,474 --> 00:04:56,187 No, it's true. He had a bad shrimp. 101 00:04:57,084 --> 00:05:00,098 You're the head of legal, Doug. You don't disappear 102 00:05:00,274 --> 00:05:02,538 'cause you ate a bad shrimp. 103 00:05:02,726 --> 00:05:05,072 Now, you're gonna tell me where you were, 104 00:05:05,324 --> 00:05:07,518 and you're gonna tell me the truth. 105 00:05:08,102 --> 00:05:10,029 I'm gonna get it out of you one way or another. 106 00:05:10,139 --> 00:05:11,301 Reynaldo, you can go. 107 00:05:12,990 --> 00:05:15,101 - Whatever the hell your name is. - He's not done. 108 00:05:15,646 --> 00:05:16,655 He's done. 109 00:05:16,886 --> 00:05:18,188 You, too, Cherien. 110 00:05:18,469 --> 00:05:19,513 No, I'm stayin'. 111 00:05:21,586 --> 00:05:22,876 Get the hell out. 112 00:05:28,049 --> 00:05:30,114 Okay, Doug, you're on the hot seat. 113 00:05:38,952 --> 00:05:40,946 I was in florida, 114 00:05:41,309 --> 00:05:42,740 in Boca Raton, 115 00:05:43,127 --> 00:05:46,575 working on a new investor for you. 116 00:05:47,531 --> 00:05:48,564 An investor. 117 00:05:48,830 --> 00:05:49,838 A big one, 118 00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:53,428 one to help you with your current cash flow situation. 119 00:05:56,892 --> 00:05:58,382 So who took the money? 120 00:05:58,745 --> 00:06:01,115 I don't frigging know. 121 00:06:01,385 --> 00:06:04,892 Why didn't you just tell me you had an investor, Doug? 122 00:06:05,103 --> 00:06:07,343 Because I was trying to keep it quiet 123 00:06:07,789 --> 00:06:09,489 because it was supposed to be 124 00:06:09,759 --> 00:06:12,528 your end-of-the-quarter surprise. 125 00:06:16,222 --> 00:06:17,278 Who is he? 126 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:21,665 Well, that was part of the surprise. 127 00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:23,964 It is a very delicate 128 00:06:25,462 --> 00:06:26,999 personal relationship, 129 00:06:27,234 --> 00:06:30,788 and the deal is not quite closed yet. 130 00:06:30,988 --> 00:06:32,055 Excuse me. 131 00:06:33,756 --> 00:06:36,014 Well, you better close that deal, Doug. 132 00:06:36,636 --> 00:06:38,102 You better close it. 133 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:40,425 How much you got him on the line for? 134 00:06:40,636 --> 00:06:41,668 What's he in for? 135 00:06:42,049 --> 00:06:43,070 A hundred grand? 136 00:06:43,551 --> 00:06:45,510 Two? Three hundred? 137 00:06:45,752 --> 00:06:46,761 Four? 138 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,204 500,000? 139 00:06:48,391 --> 00:06:49,670 I had no choice. 140 00:06:50,221 --> 00:06:52,719 You signed us up for $500,000? 141 00:06:52,883 --> 00:06:54,238 What was I supposed to do? 142 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,138 I hate those machines. They creep me out. 143 00:06:56,326 --> 00:06:58,156 What, you think it's gonna steal your soul? 144 00:06:59,141 --> 00:07:01,096 People pass polygraphs all the goddamn time. 145 00:07:01,261 --> 00:07:02,856 Who? What people? 146 00:07:04,322 --> 00:07:05,648 In the movies. 147 00:07:12,037 --> 00:07:13,550 He would've had me at "Doug Rich." 148 00:07:13,773 --> 00:07:16,037 My God. Where are we gonna find half a million dollars? 149 00:07:16,260 --> 00:07:19,357 I said I will find an investor. I will just have to find that investor. 150 00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,515 What? To invest in this shithole? 151 00:07:22,664 --> 00:07:23,685 Honey, 152 00:07:24,447 --> 00:07:26,089 we are con men, 153 00:07:26,998 --> 00:07:28,019 remember? 154 00:07:28,546 --> 00:07:31,971 We do fake investors. We don't do real investors. 155 00:07:33,325 --> 00:07:35,472 Where are you gonna find a boca man? 156 00:07:43,709 --> 00:07:45,047 All right team. 157 00:07:45,404 --> 00:07:46,419 Listen up. 158 00:07:46,618 --> 00:07:49,387 We're thinkin' of doing a big store with Panco as the front. 159 00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:52,195 So we need to find a mark that's rich, greedy, and stupid enough 160 00:07:52,348 --> 00:07:54,840 to wanna drop a load without thinking twice. 161 00:07:55,298 --> 00:07:56,752 What about Jim and Nina? 162 00:07:56,969 --> 00:07:58,893 Don't they have a lot of money from alpacas? 163 00:07:59,127 --> 00:08:00,969 Cupcake, I love Nina. 164 00:08:01,567 --> 00:08:02,998 Guys, I got one. 165 00:08:03,344 --> 00:08:07,050 Averil Utrell, age 79. She's a recent widow. 166 00:08:07,490 --> 00:08:09,473 Her husband was some Rich oil guy, 167 00:08:09,684 --> 00:08:11,449 and it turns out she's giving all her money 168 00:08:11,590 --> 00:08:13,346 to animal shelters and music stuff. 169 00:08:13,616 --> 00:08:15,915 No, we don't do little old ladies. 170 00:08:16,143 --> 00:08:18,349 Di, did you burn your moral compass? 171 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,047 Look, why don't we just try pullin' a rag on 172 00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:22,619 an apple down by the train station? 173 00:08:22,818 --> 00:08:26,272 That's a good idea but we don't know shit about the store market, do we? 174 00:08:26,648 --> 00:08:27,656 Next? 175 00:08:27,873 --> 00:08:30,067 Come on, family. Lots of easy marks around. 176 00:08:30,231 --> 00:08:32,565 Yeah, except they can't know us, they can't be too smart, 177 00:08:32,765 --> 00:08:35,251 and they gotta be greedy as shit. You're makin' it difficult. 178 00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:39,969 Rudy Blue. 179 00:08:40,504 --> 00:08:41,583 Perfect. 180 00:08:41,847 --> 00:08:45,459 - The baseball player? - Yeah. He loaded. 181 00:08:45,835 --> 00:08:47,125 Ain't he still in jail? 182 00:08:47,325 --> 00:08:48,545 Not anymore. 183 00:08:53,114 --> 00:08:56,457 Okay, Rudy Blue is quite possibly the coolest guy in the world. 184 00:08:56,633 --> 00:08:58,334 Speak up, Cal. I can't hear you. 185 00:08:58,522 --> 00:09:00,537 He's the most badass baseball player of all time. 186 00:09:00,596 --> 00:09:01,782 He had sex with a hooker girl 187 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,200 during of the seventh inning stretch a world series game. 188 00:09:04,266 --> 00:09:05,732 When baseball was baseball. 189 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,923 And he got busted havin' sex with a 17-year-old girl. 190 00:09:09,128 --> 00:09:10,735 Okay, he says they were just friends. 191 00:09:10,910 --> 00:09:13,034 Her dad found them naked in a hot tub. 192 00:09:13,268 --> 00:09:15,303 Okay, he's got a shitload of cash, right? 193 00:09:15,491 --> 00:09:18,447 First day out of the big house, he bought a Ferrari 612 scaglietti. 194 00:09:18,781 --> 00:09:19,802 250 gs. 195 00:09:20,036 --> 00:09:21,643 That's a man with somethin' to prove. 196 00:09:21,854 --> 00:09:23,519 And money to lose. 197 00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:25,396 He invested in shrimp boats, 198 00:09:25,584 --> 00:09:26,727 bana farms, 199 00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:29,284 and Rudy's chili and fries. 200 00:09:29,852 --> 00:09:30,967 A guaranteed loser. 201 00:09:31,186 --> 00:09:32,769 Hi, I'm rudy, and, 202 00:09:33,731 --> 00:09:35,162 I'm a sexaholic. 203 00:09:35,461 --> 00:09:37,009 Hi, Rudy. 204 00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:40,323 Okay, and we have newcomers. Please introduce yourself. 205 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:41,853 First names only. 206 00:09:42,393 --> 00:09:45,349 Hi. I'm Mel, 207 00:09:46,059 --> 00:09:47,666 and I'm a... sexaholic. 208 00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:49,965 Hi, Mel. 209 00:09:50,452 --> 00:09:51,507 Thank you, Mel. 210 00:09:51,777 --> 00:09:52,809 And, 211 00:09:53,097 --> 00:09:55,290 would you like to introduce yourself? 212 00:09:59,135 --> 00:10:01,645 Hi. My name's Cherien. 213 00:10:02,841 --> 00:10:04,108 And I... 214 00:10:08,010 --> 00:10:10,181 I'm just so goddamn horny. 215 00:10:11,529 --> 00:10:12,691 Hi, y'all. 216 00:10:13,348 --> 00:10:14,556 Hi, Cherien. 217 00:10:15,459 --> 00:10:17,770 All right, settle down now. Settle down. 218 00:10:25,881 --> 00:10:27,453 So there I was in the cockpit, 219 00:10:27,676 --> 00:10:28,920 workin' my magic. 220 00:10:29,137 --> 00:10:30,228 Wait a minute, 221 00:10:30,445 --> 00:10:33,691 you gave a handjob to a pilot while he was on duty? 222 00:10:33,931 --> 00:10:35,894 It's not like no one else was flying the plane 223 00:10:36,105 --> 00:10:38,815 'cause, you know, the co-pilot was there, too. 224 00:10:39,530 --> 00:10:41,501 Luckily, I'm ambidextrous. 225 00:10:43,202 --> 00:10:45,776 I guess that makes you a member of the mile-high club. 226 00:10:46,175 --> 00:10:48,333 Look who's talking, mr. "I like 'em young." 227 00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:51,787 Come on. Don't remind me of that fact. 228 00:10:52,145 --> 00:10:54,039 Come on, Rudy. You don't have to be ashamed. 229 00:10:54,204 --> 00:10:55,353 Everybody still loves you. 230 00:10:55,877 --> 00:10:56,968 They don't. 231 00:10:57,262 --> 00:10:58,628 Not after that girl, they don't. 232 00:10:58,822 --> 00:11:00,100 That little slut? 233 00:11:00,358 --> 00:11:02,369 Whole world knows she set you up. 234 00:11:02,768 --> 00:11:06,803 My ex-wife has everyone convinced that I'm just a dumbass, horny loser. 235 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,480 A horny loser? 236 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,101 You're a baseball legend. 237 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:12,403 You are. 238 00:11:13,207 --> 00:11:14,849 Yeah, I guess. I... 239 00:11:16,345 --> 00:11:18,491 Who do you think built Rudy's chili and fries? 240 00:11:18,676 --> 00:11:19,849 That was my idea, 241 00:11:20,072 --> 00:11:22,207 my hard work, my business savvy, 242 00:11:22,658 --> 00:11:25,333 and that damn judge, he just gave her everything. 243 00:11:26,147 --> 00:11:27,888 Well, it's your name on the sign. 244 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,636 - He gave her that, too. - They did? 245 00:11:29,859 --> 00:11:30,950 My own name. 246 00:11:31,618 --> 00:11:32,791 She took everything. 247 00:11:33,014 --> 00:11:35,876 Well, you still got your health... 248 00:11:39,087 --> 00:11:40,588 And your money, right? 249 00:11:40,940 --> 00:11:42,465 Yeah, I still got that. 250 00:11:44,846 --> 00:11:47,204 But my family, 251 00:11:47,462 --> 00:11:49,515 my teammates, my self-respect... 252 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,192 &I respect you. 253 00:11:58,007 --> 00:12:00,224 - Shit. - What? Is there a problem? 254 00:12:01,162 --> 00:12:02,300 It's my ex, 255 00:12:02,687 --> 00:12:04,669 makin' my life miserable. 256 00:12:04,904 --> 00:12:06,382 Do you have kids? 257 00:12:06,669 --> 00:12:07,737 Just Sammy, 258 00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,783 who that bastard is trying to take away. 259 00:12:11,052 --> 00:12:13,047 Posey did the same thing to me. 260 00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:15,425 You got to fight him, Cherien. Fight him. 261 00:12:15,612 --> 00:12:17,090 Yeah. Everybody's saying, you know, 262 00:12:17,255 --> 00:12:20,234 he's so smart, and he's making money hand over fist. 263 00:12:20,462 --> 00:12:22,363 He fights me on every penny. 264 00:12:22,661 --> 00:12:24,368 I mean, he's doing a huge deal right now 265 00:12:24,614 --> 00:12:27,693 that I happen to know is going to make him even richer than he already is, 266 00:12:27,975 --> 00:12:29,946 and he still wants to cut my alimony. 267 00:12:30,186 --> 00:12:31,441 What does this guy do anyway? 268 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,212 Real estate developer. 269 00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:35,441 We got married real young. 270 00:12:35,892 --> 00:12:38,044 No, he couldn't deal with my problem. 271 00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:42,671 I mean, can I help it if my needs are more than he can handle? 272 00:12:43,457 --> 00:12:44,489 Because I... 273 00:12:44,671 --> 00:12:46,536 Controlling my lust... 274 00:12:47,486 --> 00:12:48,788 Is a daily... 275 00:12:51,028 --> 00:12:53,433 Hourly struggle. 276 00:12:56,116 --> 00:12:58,474 I mean, temptation is everywhere. 277 00:13:04,687 --> 00:13:06,048 I'm sorry. 278 00:13:07,362 --> 00:13:09,614 I'm just finding this whole abstinence thing 279 00:13:09,808 --> 00:13:11,016 very, very challenging. 280 00:13:11,239 --> 00:13:14,195 Cherien, I... I understand. Me, too. 281 00:13:19,910 --> 00:13:21,962 Guess I better call a cab. 282 00:13:22,314 --> 00:13:25,434 Got to go pick up the kid from the dickhead. 283 00:13:27,454 --> 00:13:29,765 Well, I can give you a ride. 284 00:13:30,539 --> 00:13:31,571 Really? 285 00:13:33,548 --> 00:13:35,835 I mean, you think it's safe for us 'cause 286 00:13:36,058 --> 00:13:37,934 I don't want to do nothin' to trip us up. 287 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:41,359 We're both in the program, Cherien. I just want to be your friend. 288 00:13:41,664 --> 00:13:43,540 There's still so much to discuss. 289 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,394 Sammy falls asleep real easy. 290 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:46,567 I love kids. 291 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:47,799 Let's go. 292 00:14:02,822 --> 00:14:05,379 Sam, mama's home! 293 00:14:05,590 --> 00:14:07,455 I'm here to pick you up! 294 00:14:07,748 --> 00:14:09,226 Hello to you, too. 295 00:14:09,531 --> 00:14:10,657 Who's your friend? 296 00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,258 None of your damn business. 297 00:14:12,475 --> 00:14:13,484 Hey, mom, 298 00:14:13,648 --> 00:14:14,856 I missed you. 299 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:18,962 Sam... antha, 300 00:14:19,694 --> 00:14:20,703 hi. 301 00:14:22,034 --> 00:14:24,110 So this is my little girl. 302 00:14:25,178 --> 00:14:27,207 And you better go get your stuff, honey, cause 303 00:14:27,359 --> 00:14:29,435 nice mr. Blue's gonna give us a ride home. 304 00:14:30,018 --> 00:14:31,226 Hey, I know you. 305 00:14:31,426 --> 00:14:32,692 You're Rudy Blue. 306 00:14:32,904 --> 00:14:34,194 You used to play for the Cubs. 307 00:14:34,382 --> 00:14:35,977 And the A's and Royals and Rangers... 308 00:14:36,188 --> 00:14:38,134 And the Mariners and the Angels and the Braves. 309 00:14:38,557 --> 00:14:41,026 My God. I am a huge fan. 310 00:14:41,343 --> 00:14:44,686 Sammy and I, we order Rudy's chili and fries probably three times a week. 311 00:14:44,873 --> 00:14:46,023 Great, great. Thanks. 312 00:14:46,210 --> 00:14:47,676 Rudy Blue in my own house 313 00:14:47,981 --> 00:14:49,600 with my ex-wife. 314 00:14:50,708 --> 00:14:52,268 Don't you listen to him, Rudy. 315 00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:54,673 He's just tryin' to kiss your ass. 316 00:14:55,159 --> 00:14:56,995 Where's my video? You better find it because 317 00:14:57,171 --> 00:14:58,426 I'm gonna burn this place down. 318 00:14:58,989 --> 00:15:01,546 Instead of subjecting our guest to your insanity, 319 00:15:02,044 --> 00:15:05,054 perhaps we should deal with our problems in private. 320 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,697 - Will you wait for me? - Sure. 321 00:15:08,944 --> 00:15:10,750 I'll just be a little bitty minute. 322 00:15:14,383 --> 00:15:16,424 So sorry about this. Help yourself to a drink. 323 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,239 Drinks in the kitchen. Mi casa su casa. 324 00:15:19,791 --> 00:15:21,280 Great. Thanks. 325 00:15:37,816 --> 00:15:39,553 You lost our Hawaii video? 326 00:15:39,729 --> 00:15:41,054 What do you care? 327 00:15:41,336 --> 00:15:42,661 I'm naked in it! 328 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,045 What do you think? 329 00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:46,708 You afraid I'm gonna put it on the internet? 330 00:15:47,804 --> 00:15:49,493 Who would want to see you naked? 331 00:15:49,733 --> 00:15:51,645 Screw you! You'd do it just to piss me off! 332 00:15:51,821 --> 00:15:53,182 Fine. Take it. 333 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:54,607 You have it? 334 00:15:54,876 --> 00:15:56,225 I don't want it anyway. 335 00:15:56,459 --> 00:15:58,559 Just stop blogging about my sex drive. 336 00:16:02,603 --> 00:16:04,620 Jesus Christ. 337 00:16:05,136 --> 00:16:07,025 Are you really a baseball player? 338 00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:09,394 Yeah. Well, I used to be. 339 00:16:09,611 --> 00:16:11,581 My daddy is gonna buy a baseball team. 340 00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:13,265 He is, huh? 341 00:16:13,962 --> 00:16:16,373 Well, you know, baseball teams cost an awful lot of money. 342 00:16:16,513 --> 00:16:17,522 I know. 343 00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:21,217 Once his new deal closes, he's gonna be richer than God. 344 00:16:22,108 --> 00:16:23,327 It's a secret, though. 345 00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:24,864 I can't even tell mom. 346 00:16:25,388 --> 00:16:28,074 Hey, free country. I can write whatever i want. 347 00:16:28,485 --> 00:16:29,494 Enough Cherien. 348 00:16:29,646 --> 00:16:31,816 One more stunt like that, I'll sue your ass. 349 00:16:32,274 --> 00:16:34,368 I am so sorry, Rudy, but 350 00:16:34,638 --> 00:16:37,605 Doug and I still have a few things to fight about like cats and dogs. 351 00:16:37,816 --> 00:16:39,969 It may take a while. Can I call you in the morning? 352 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,248 Thank you so much. 353 00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:58,885 So what do you guys think? Is he a gut guy or a research guy? 354 00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:00,187 Gut guy. 355 00:17:00,434 --> 00:17:03,730 You, guys, if he does even a little bit of research on Doug Rich... 356 00:17:03,836 --> 00:17:05,701 - He's gonna... - He's gonna find Doug Rich, 357 00:17:05,830 --> 00:17:08,047 a respectable lawyer, working for a respectable real estate firm. 358 00:17:08,129 --> 00:17:10,170 I don't understand why we can't just call the guy. 359 00:17:10,316 --> 00:17:12,639 No, baby, you never, ever call the mark. 360 00:17:12,844 --> 00:17:14,908 He's gotta call us. We can't call him. 361 00:17:15,184 --> 00:17:17,027 Gotta set the bait. See, if he takes it, 362 00:17:17,176 --> 00:17:19,301 then calls, he's the right guy, and if he doesn't... 363 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,452 Then he's the wrong guy. Never was the right guy. 364 00:17:21,704 --> 00:17:24,560 And I think he's gonna call. I think Rudy's the man. 365 00:17:24,795 --> 00:17:25,795 You know... 366 00:17:25,859 --> 00:17:26,862 Eat that. 367 00:17:27,015 --> 00:17:28,727 Listen, he's just out of jail. 368 00:17:28,938 --> 00:17:31,965 The man's got a lot to prove to people that he's still worth something. 369 00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:35,266 Yeah, and as much as he wants into mom's pants, 370 00:17:35,934 --> 00:17:37,705 I think he wants in on this gig 371 00:17:38,174 --> 00:17:39,276 a little bit more. 372 00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:41,065 I don't know, dad. It's a long shot. 373 00:17:41,253 --> 00:17:43,458 We need children of little faith. 374 00:17:50,108 --> 00:17:51,351 - Could be. - No way. 375 00:17:51,466 --> 00:17:52,475 Come on. 376 00:17:52,581 --> 00:17:53,601 Come on. 377 00:18:04,447 --> 00:18:05,678 I can do lunch. 378 00:18:07,450 --> 00:18:08,599 No. Yeah, I know it. 379 00:18:08,769 --> 00:18:10,364 I will meet you there. 380 00:18:10,968 --> 00:18:12,469 I'll meet you there for lunch. 381 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,682 All right, I stand corrected. 382 00:18:18,893 --> 00:18:21,345 My boobies are gettin' credit for this one, I'm telling you. 383 00:18:22,131 --> 00:18:23,714 You're pretty sly, Rudy, 384 00:18:23,901 --> 00:18:25,901 snagging one of my business cards. 385 00:18:26,358 --> 00:18:28,693 Well, I just thought we had a few things in common. 386 00:18:29,126 --> 00:18:31,378 Seems you know baseball, you know... 387 00:18:34,653 --> 00:18:37,679 I don't know how to tell you this, slugger, but she is 388 00:18:37,996 --> 00:18:39,263 a nut case. 389 00:18:39,679 --> 00:18:41,462 Well, she seemed pretty sweet to me. 390 00:18:41,667 --> 00:18:43,473 If she wants you to do something, you do it, 391 00:18:43,573 --> 00:18:45,661 then she'll turn around, she'll bite your head off, 392 00:18:45,788 --> 00:18:46,794 you know? 393 00:18:46,989 --> 00:18:48,045 The sex... 394 00:18:49,693 --> 00:18:51,306 Sex was dangerous. 395 00:18:51,916 --> 00:18:52,972 Really? 396 00:18:53,347 --> 00:18:54,919 Different positions. 397 00:18:55,578 --> 00:18:57,408 She loved to try out 398 00:18:57,584 --> 00:19:00,095 many different positions, and she's... 399 00:19:02,035 --> 00:19:04,194 She's doubled-jointed, 400 00:19:04,915 --> 00:19:05,947 and I'm not, 401 00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:07,856 So it was a challenge. 402 00:19:09,263 --> 00:19:11,316 I shouldn't be talking about this. 403 00:19:12,176 --> 00:19:13,643 But aside from the sex, 404 00:19:13,932 --> 00:19:15,816 you know, everything else was a catastrophe. 405 00:19:16,039 --> 00:19:18,168 I mean, she lies like a rug, she spends like sailor. 406 00:19:18,307 --> 00:19:20,026 God, I know exactly what you mean. 407 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:22,689 My ex-wife, she takes so much money from me. 408 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,137 I can't even live off the interest anymore. 409 00:19:25,548 --> 00:19:28,269 Must have been making the wrong investments, my friend. 410 00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:34,457 Is that why you asked me to lunch? 411 00:19:34,867 --> 00:19:38,316 Well, you know, I heard you had something going. 412 00:19:38,532 --> 00:19:41,042 You're into real estate, right? 413 00:19:41,312 --> 00:19:42,754 I love the land, Rudy. 414 00:19:42,954 --> 00:19:45,253 So what exactly is this deal? 415 00:19:47,378 --> 00:19:49,361 Did she tell you about Edenfalls too? 416 00:19:50,111 --> 00:19:51,765 It wasn't Cherien. It was... 417 00:19:51,917 --> 00:19:53,912 You don't need to cover for her. She does this. 418 00:19:54,175 --> 00:19:56,662 She thinks I'm gonna make a killing, and she wants in on it. 419 00:19:57,119 --> 00:20:00,099 And, sure, it's a good investment, but it's closed. 420 00:20:00,451 --> 00:20:01,483 Sorry. 421 00:20:04,339 --> 00:20:05,524 How closed? 422 00:20:07,142 --> 00:20:08,632 It's a tricky investment, Rudy. 423 00:20:08,855 --> 00:20:11,353 You know, I can't open it to inexperienced investors. 424 00:20:11,564 --> 00:20:13,641 I've analyzed a profitable opportunity. 425 00:20:13,851 --> 00:20:15,189 We got to move fast. 426 00:20:16,555 --> 00:20:19,347 I used to assess knuckle balls in less than a second. 427 00:20:19,658 --> 00:20:21,136 That fast enough for you? 428 00:20:21,447 --> 00:20:22,866 Less than a second? 429 00:20:24,074 --> 00:20:25,130 Come on. 430 00:20:32,425 --> 00:20:34,267 The spotted crawfish. 431 00:20:35,463 --> 00:20:36,483 The what? 432 00:20:36,718 --> 00:20:39,533 It's an endangered species that lives on a piece of prime real estate 433 00:20:39,726 --> 00:20:41,275 about 60 miles north of here. 434 00:20:41,550 --> 00:20:42,699 215 acres, 435 00:20:42,899 --> 00:20:45,738 beautiful, lush, green land just begging for concrete. 436 00:20:45,952 --> 00:20:47,183 Sad sack who owns it 437 00:20:47,348 --> 00:20:49,553 is stuck with it for the last 30 years. 438 00:20:50,139 --> 00:20:51,148 Point being? 439 00:20:51,348 --> 00:20:53,154 Point being that in last 30 years, 440 00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:56,163 the little spotters have gone crazy, screwing all over the place. 441 00:20:56,433 --> 00:20:59,171 Fish and wildlife no longer need to protect them. 442 00:20:59,638 --> 00:21:02,359 So now, the land could be developed. 443 00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:06,118 They're lifting the restrictions on monday. 444 00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:10,179 How do you know that? 445 00:21:10,472 --> 00:21:12,208 Got someone on the inside. 446 00:21:12,783 --> 00:21:13,804 How inside? 447 00:21:14,144 --> 00:21:16,818 Under secretary of the interior inside. 448 00:21:18,286 --> 00:21:21,465 So mr. S. Sack, who owns the land, is now quite a happy man. 449 00:21:22,245 --> 00:21:25,201 I bet he is. He's gonna be in some serious cash on monday. 450 00:21:26,105 --> 00:21:27,125 What? 451 00:21:27,313 --> 00:21:28,849 He doesn't know about monday, 452 00:21:29,319 --> 00:21:33,248 and on saturday, he's gonna sell his land to me and my investors. 453 00:21:40,042 --> 00:21:42,459 You make me one of those investors, and I swear to God, 454 00:21:42,717 --> 00:21:45,462 you can call it Rudy Blue estates if you want to. 455 00:21:51,150 --> 00:21:53,437 Cal, you're on the inside. Di, you're on the inside. 456 00:21:53,537 --> 00:21:55,308 Sammy, you're on the inside, too. 457 00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:57,666 - Dad, who's on the outside? - Does anybody else think 458 00:21:57,766 --> 00:22:01,558 that the inside-outside problem is just about the smallest one we have? 459 00:22:02,420 --> 00:22:05,386 I hate doing this nympho routine. 460 00:22:05,501 --> 00:22:07,196 - Don't laugh. - I'm sorry. 461 00:22:07,312 --> 00:22:10,291 It's just, I'm feelin' him up, I'm all over him. It don't feel good, 462 00:22:10,391 --> 00:22:13,357 and he's just about to put the moves on me, and I can't really blame him. 463 00:22:13,473 --> 00:22:15,359 Did you hear any of that? Okay, good. 464 00:22:15,590 --> 00:22:18,479 Well, rub his back, and remind him you're in the program. 465 00:22:18,595 --> 00:22:22,081 I really need to figure something out here. So we're gonna get some guy 466 00:22:22,196 --> 00:22:25,645 to sell a bunch of fake land to you and rudy and a bunch of other guys, right? 467 00:22:25,780 --> 00:22:28,313 - Investors. - Investors, yes. So the question is, 468 00:22:28,429 --> 00:22:30,490 who are the investors? Who's the guy? 469 00:22:30,606 --> 00:22:32,423 Who is anyone involved in this plan? 470 00:22:32,523 --> 00:22:33,976 Who are the shills, dad? 471 00:22:34,092 --> 00:22:36,153 This is a big operation. 472 00:22:36,268 --> 00:22:37,635 We don't know any shills here. 473 00:22:37,751 --> 00:22:40,505 The only people we know here are the pool guy and Nina. 474 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:41,931 We got a pool guy? 475 00:22:42,431 --> 00:22:45,128 What about the people from the trailer park? 476 00:22:46,226 --> 00:22:47,690 They would need the money. 477 00:22:47,806 --> 00:22:50,981 - They're completely unskilled. - They took 200 bucks off your dad. 478 00:22:51,081 --> 00:22:54,450 They live in a trailer park, you guys. They have to act like millionaires. 479 00:22:54,566 --> 00:22:56,968 - We act like millionaires. - I will check them out, 480 00:22:57,083 --> 00:22:59,703 but we gotta make it on saturday 'cause the office's empty. 481 00:22:59,819 --> 00:23:01,553 It's not. Hugh works there on saturdays. 482 00:23:01,653 --> 00:23:04,220 - We gotta get him out of there somehow. - This is insane, dad. 483 00:23:04,335 --> 00:23:06,570 - Why? - Because we can't do this. 484 00:23:06,694 --> 00:23:09,427 I mean, half a million dollars? We don't even know what that means. 485 00:23:09,527 --> 00:23:11,354 Look, the biggest thing that we've ever done 486 00:23:11,454 --> 00:23:14,996 is sell bogus condos out of that strip mall on myrtle beach. 487 00:23:15,112 --> 00:23:17,442 That was just a couple grand for finders fees. 488 00:23:18,733 --> 00:23:21,796 - We live in this house. - I know, mom, but 489 00:23:22,008 --> 00:23:25,225 people like us, we don't make that kind of money. 490 00:23:25,341 --> 00:23:27,858 People make money like this 491 00:23:27,993 --> 00:23:30,632 - all the time. - But we don't know what we're doing. 492 00:23:32,322 --> 00:23:33,362 I mean, 493 00:23:33,825 --> 00:23:36,501 we're totally in over our heads here. You know that. 494 00:23:36,617 --> 00:23:38,062 So what? 495 00:23:38,659 --> 00:23:41,625 We didn't know what we were doing when we first came here. 496 00:23:42,029 --> 00:23:45,323 Your dad needs our help, okay? So we're gonna help him. 497 00:23:45,650 --> 00:23:48,925 If he don't get this money, he's gonna lose his job, and if he loses his job, 498 00:23:49,098 --> 00:23:52,373 you're gonna lose this sweet life you like so much. 499 00:23:53,181 --> 00:23:55,955 So either we go or we stay, but if we stay, 500 00:23:56,090 --> 00:23:57,862 you gotta roll with it. 501 00:24:13,310 --> 00:24:15,468 What the hell is that smell? 502 00:24:16,142 --> 00:24:18,395 Oh, the rug cleaners were here. They were spot testing. 503 00:24:18,511 --> 00:24:20,533 They're gonna clean the whole office tomorrow. 504 00:24:20,643 --> 00:24:23,783 - Tomorrow's saturday, I gotta work. - Well, you have to work at home. 505 00:24:23,937 --> 00:24:26,672 No, I'm gonna work here, Cherien, like I always do. 506 00:24:28,068 --> 00:24:30,225 Sure they can just work around you. 507 00:24:30,379 --> 00:24:33,267 I don't think the chemicals'll be too bad. What do they got goin' here? 508 00:24:33,367 --> 00:24:35,140 "mono-tetrachloride, 509 00:24:35,274 --> 00:24:38,336 sodium ozone phosphate, nitric 510 00:24:38,453 --> 00:24:41,284 gastro-hydraulic-mercury." 511 00:24:42,323 --> 00:24:44,287 Ah, should be fine. 512 00:24:44,422 --> 00:24:46,252 I'll let them know you'll be here. 513 00:24:52,182 --> 00:24:53,357 Acting? 514 00:24:54,089 --> 00:24:56,650 - What kind of acting? - Are there gonna be cameras? 515 00:24:56,804 --> 00:24:58,995 - I don't want cameras. - Shut up, gerard. 516 00:24:59,111 --> 00:25:00,690 There will be no cameras, gerard. 517 00:25:00,806 --> 00:25:05,529 For the sum of $1,000 apiece, 518 00:25:06,145 --> 00:25:08,688 you'll be acting in a theatrical event. 519 00:25:08,822 --> 00:25:11,461 You will be acting in a traing seminar. 520 00:25:11,693 --> 00:25:14,081 - Like for emergencies? - Like for emergencies. 521 00:25:14,216 --> 00:25:19,032 Like for investments, like for an emergency investment. 522 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,141 no questions asked. 523 00:25:21,276 --> 00:25:22,470 No taxes, 524 00:25:22,586 --> 00:25:23,780 no withholding, 525 00:25:25,042 --> 00:25:26,602 no questions asked. 526 00:25:27,295 --> 00:25:31,051 - Is that last part clear? - Fine, but what's in it for us? 527 00:25:32,227 --> 00:25:35,231 Money, gerard. Christ. 528 00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:38,660 Look, how do we know you'll come through? 529 00:25:40,701 --> 00:25:42,393 Air force one. 530 00:25:42,493 --> 00:25:44,707 Keep it as collateral. 531 00:25:44,938 --> 00:25:47,635 But no test drives, okay? It's on fumes. 532 00:25:48,598 --> 00:25:49,756 Hang on. 533 00:25:50,736 --> 00:25:53,529 Excuse me, gentlemen, lady. 534 00:26:00,256 --> 00:26:01,335 What is it? 535 00:26:06,947 --> 00:26:08,565 Holy crap! 536 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,915 Oh, my gosh. Are you okay? 537 00:26:11,166 --> 00:26:13,053 My throat's closing up. 538 00:26:13,574 --> 00:26:17,946 Should never have hired those shithead rug cleaners. 539 00:26:22,321 --> 00:26:25,037 What are you lookin' at? 540 00:26:40,368 --> 00:26:41,581 How are the investors? 541 00:26:41,735 --> 00:26:45,511 A little scary, actually, one of them particularly. 542 00:26:46,300 --> 00:26:48,669 But mr. Blue called. Your friend, 543 00:26:48,804 --> 00:26:50,943 he's worried about a losing streak, 544 00:26:51,077 --> 00:26:55,122 so you better go round there and rub his thighs and turn them into a fire. 545 00:26:55,270 --> 00:26:57,542 Rudy, thank you so much for meeting me, 546 00:26:57,658 --> 00:26:59,469 'cause I was shoppin', and 547 00:26:59,584 --> 00:27:02,454 I almost pulled the store clerk into the dressing room and made him... 548 00:27:02,589 --> 00:27:03,860 You know... God! 549 00:27:03,976 --> 00:27:07,597 Man, I really feel like I can talk to you, you know? 550 00:27:07,732 --> 00:27:09,669 And I feel like I can talk you, too, Cherien. 551 00:27:09,793 --> 00:27:12,999 Great, 'cause I need your help. I haven't had sex in 14 hours. 552 00:27:13,099 --> 00:27:15,466 It makes me kind of jittery, you know. 553 00:27:15,582 --> 00:27:18,664 - Anyway, how are you? - I'm good. Good. 554 00:27:18,779 --> 00:27:20,821 I had lunch with Doug. 555 00:27:21,148 --> 00:27:22,574 My Doug? 556 00:27:22,863 --> 00:27:24,829 We're gonna do a little business deal together. 557 00:27:24,945 --> 00:27:28,005 No, no. I do not know how I feel about my boyfriend and 558 00:27:28,105 --> 00:27:31,590 - my ex-husband doing deals together. - Wait, I'm not your boyfriend, Cherien, 559 00:27:31,706 --> 00:27:33,343 you know. 560 00:27:33,593 --> 00:27:35,037 I mean, well, I would be. 561 00:27:35,153 --> 00:27:38,774 I'm tempted. I'm really tempted. 562 00:27:38,890 --> 00:27:41,085 Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. 563 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,839 I keep forgetting. I forget we're in program. We're program. 564 00:27:43,955 --> 00:27:46,767 We don't... We don't think about each other that way no more. 565 00:27:47,268 --> 00:27:48,289 Right. 566 00:27:49,734 --> 00:27:50,967 We've grown. 567 00:27:52,142 --> 00:27:55,137 - It's a door we choose not to open. - Right. 568 00:27:56,408 --> 00:28:00,434 So, I figured it would be okay to invest a little money with Doug. 569 00:28:00,665 --> 00:28:01,704 Sure. 570 00:28:01,839 --> 00:28:04,632 And... And... And here's the thing. 571 00:28:04,786 --> 00:28:06,980 The thing is, I'd really like you to 572 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:10,352 come to the meeting with me. 573 00:28:11,952 --> 00:28:13,474 What meeting? 574 00:28:13,762 --> 00:28:16,189 This little investor thing. 575 00:28:18,250 --> 00:28:20,273 Truth is, uh... 576 00:28:20,889 --> 00:28:24,221 My ex-wife made all the big money decisions. 577 00:28:25,416 --> 00:28:27,744 I tell people that she didn't, but 578 00:28:27,844 --> 00:28:30,616 she really did. She was very good at it, and... 579 00:28:31,493 --> 00:28:33,804 Well, let's just say since the divorce, 580 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,117 I haven't exactly been hitting them out of the park, you know? 581 00:28:37,228 --> 00:28:39,925 I even tried not changing my socks for a while, but 582 00:28:41,331 --> 00:28:45,935 anyway, I was thinking if I had another smart, 583 00:28:46,089 --> 00:28:48,940 really pretty woman sittin' next to me... 584 00:28:51,964 --> 00:28:54,045 Y'all don't need me. 585 00:28:54,334 --> 00:28:57,300 A man of your accomplishments, your achievements, 586 00:28:57,435 --> 00:28:59,900 everything you've done on the field 587 00:29:01,191 --> 00:29:02,790 and off, 588 00:29:03,827 --> 00:29:06,273 you don't need anyone. 589 00:29:09,413 --> 00:29:13,149 But I gotta say, there's nothin' that turns me on more 590 00:29:13,284 --> 00:29:15,865 than an accomplished, money-makin' man. 591 00:29:17,618 --> 00:29:19,082 Now, that's the truth. 592 00:29:20,855 --> 00:29:22,473 So, rudy... 593 00:29:23,685 --> 00:29:27,075 I would be so, so 594 00:29:27,788 --> 00:29:29,117 honored... 595 00:29:29,271 --> 00:29:31,178 To be with you. 596 00:29:31,505 --> 00:29:36,089 Yes, rudy. Yes, I will go to your meeting with you. 597 00:29:44,247 --> 00:29:47,213 Pack this stuff up, everything in boxes. Move this thing out here. 598 00:29:47,329 --> 00:29:50,372 Okay, I want this table to the right, this table around to the left. 599 00:29:50,507 --> 00:29:52,992 - Whose left? His left? - No, gerard, his left. 600 00:29:53,165 --> 00:29:54,590 Just that way. 601 00:29:54,725 --> 00:29:57,133 This one comes round here, this one forms a line like this. 602 00:29:57,248 --> 00:30:00,098 Gonna create an amphitheater here. This is opera. 603 00:30:00,214 --> 00:30:02,294 Look, don't question me. I am the director, 604 00:30:02,410 --> 00:30:04,925 - and you guys are the actors, okay? - Okay, honey, 605 00:30:05,060 --> 00:30:07,679 you got a little vein poppin' in your neck. You need to breathe. 606 00:30:07,813 --> 00:30:11,100 Look, our test client is gonna be here in an hour. You're just gonna sit quiet 607 00:30:11,205 --> 00:30:13,570 - and playing millionaires. - She's playing a millionaire? 608 00:30:13,670 --> 00:30:16,238 - Shut the hell up, gerard. - Okay, would you be quiet, please? 609 00:30:16,338 --> 00:30:18,459 My stylist is gonna come, you'll get nice clothes, 610 00:30:18,559 --> 00:30:21,956 and you're gonna look like millionaires. - She probably once blew a millionaire. 611 00:30:22,072 --> 00:30:25,038 I love where we're going here, but it's not helping. 612 00:30:26,079 --> 00:30:28,737 this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna be 613 00:30:28,852 --> 00:30:32,204 mr. Balsam, heir to the balsam fortune. 614 00:30:32,415 --> 00:30:34,592 Got it? Who are you? 615 00:30:36,017 --> 00:30:38,155 - Nope. - Mr. Balsam. 616 00:30:39,368 --> 00:30:42,181 Fred, you're gonna be mr. Marsho, all right? 617 00:30:42,296 --> 00:30:44,434 - Of the marsho hedge fund. - Marsho. 618 00:30:44,589 --> 00:30:46,072 What's a hedge fund? 619 00:30:46,514 --> 00:30:48,826 You know, when you keep something in a hedge? 620 00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:52,505 Well, imagine a fund in a hedge. 621 00:30:53,564 --> 00:30:56,935 Imelda, I want you to be signora Boiva, right? 622 00:30:57,070 --> 00:31:00,248 Ceo of Argentina transmobile. 623 00:31:00,864 --> 00:31:04,312 - How's your spanish? - Oh, it's perfecto. Gracias, papito. 624 00:31:04,446 --> 00:31:08,473 That's easy for you to say. Uh, Cal, what you gonna be? 625 00:31:09,935 --> 00:31:13,075 Dieter platter, german internet genius. 626 00:31:13,228 --> 00:31:15,325 Yeah, a very quiet genius. Okay. 627 00:31:15,425 --> 00:31:17,196 Olin. Where's Olin? 628 00:31:17,788 --> 00:31:20,003 Olin, snap out of it! 629 00:31:20,331 --> 00:31:22,604 You don't have to yell. 630 00:31:22,739 --> 00:31:24,992 Olin, this is important. You're a key player here. 631 00:31:25,108 --> 00:31:27,833 You're mr. Abbott, and you are the seller. 632 00:31:27,968 --> 00:31:31,069 Aw, jesus, Wayne, he is drunk off his ass. 633 00:31:31,204 --> 00:31:34,440 - Olin, this is 9:00 in the morning. - Just give me some coffee.I'll be fine. 634 00:31:34,556 --> 00:31:37,079 No, he won't be. He's on a bender 635 00:31:37,194 --> 00:31:40,083 - He's gonna wreck our whole show. - What the hell do you care? 636 00:31:40,237 --> 00:31:42,144 I care because I'm a professional. 637 00:31:42,260 --> 00:31:44,186 A professional gas station attendant. 638 00:31:44,301 --> 00:31:47,364 I'm a musician, you two-bit whore! 639 00:31:49,267 --> 00:31:53,000 Mr. Blue just called. He's on his way. He'll be here at 10:00. 640 00:31:56,241 --> 00:31:58,176 Okay, everybody, remember what I'm saying. 641 00:31:58,311 --> 00:32:00,696 Do this, work things out, help me here, okay? 642 00:32:00,796 --> 00:32:02,029 Everybody help me. 643 00:32:02,164 --> 00:32:04,880 Put those in there. And, sweetheart, please don't steal anything. 644 00:32:04,995 --> 00:32:07,018 - It won't fit down your tube top. - All right. 645 00:32:07,153 --> 00:32:09,657 Olin, snap out of it! 646 00:32:09,772 --> 00:32:12,546 You do not have to yell. 647 00:32:14,826 --> 00:32:18,253 - Take those off, try these. - You are lookin' good, olin. 648 00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:21,298 - I think I need more concealer shit. - He's good, isn't he? 649 00:32:21,413 --> 00:32:23,126 Oh, yeah, he's the best. 650 00:32:23,226 --> 00:32:25,222 Okay, imelda, honey, you got to come out. 651 00:32:25,338 --> 00:32:26,898 - He's gonna be here any minute. - No, 652 00:32:27,014 --> 00:32:29,306 - they're gonna laugh at me. - No one will laugh at you. 653 00:32:29,421 --> 00:32:32,640 Okay, the thing to rember, at the right time, 654 00:32:32,740 --> 00:32:35,671 do not forget to take out your cell phones. 655 00:32:35,806 --> 00:32:37,366 Ferrari, 2 o'clock. 656 00:32:37,501 --> 00:32:39,581 - He's here! - All right, places, come on, people 657 00:32:39,697 --> 00:32:43,819 - Imelda, come out! - All right, keep your hair on. 658 00:32:46,708 --> 00:32:50,079 You say anything, I'll rip your friggin' head off. 659 00:32:54,740 --> 00:32:56,301 Imelda, tattoo. 660 00:33:03,039 --> 00:33:05,274 Rudy, good to see you. 661 00:33:05,389 --> 00:33:07,393 So you want in on this after all? 662 00:33:07,566 --> 00:33:11,110 Yeah, well, I'm thinkin' yeah, yeah, probably. I, uh... 663 00:33:11,235 --> 00:33:15,204 Abbott's here. He is so glad to be unloading this land. 664 00:33:15,685 --> 00:33:17,110 You sure you want to do this? 665 00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:20,751 Because i will happily put in another 500 grand for your share. 666 00:33:21,270 --> 00:33:23,813 Hello, rudy. Sorry I'm late. 667 00:33:23,947 --> 00:33:25,951 What are you doing here? This is invitation only. 668 00:33:26,085 --> 00:33:27,877 I was invited. 669 00:33:28,628 --> 00:33:29,803 Right, rudy? 670 00:33:31,372 --> 00:33:35,205 Hey, you are bringing a date to a limited partnership offering? 671 00:33:35,340 --> 00:33:38,229 He's not my date. He is my sponsor. 672 00:33:39,461 --> 00:33:43,256 Mr. Abbott is getting very impatient. He says he has a 2:00 charity function. 673 00:33:43,372 --> 00:33:45,009 Thank you, Di... Helen. 674 00:33:47,147 --> 00:33:48,553 This way. 675 00:33:49,738 --> 00:33:52,540 You know, I'd really like it if she could be here, if you don't mind. 676 00:33:52,655 --> 00:33:56,257 I promised I'd look after her. You know, she's horny as a toad, that one. 677 00:33:56,392 --> 00:33:59,165 Well, it's your funeral. You've got a... 678 00:34:01,650 --> 00:34:04,116 So, mr. Abbott, 679 00:34:04,465 --> 00:34:06,863 I think you'll find the price of three 680 00:34:06,978 --> 00:34:10,269 million dollars is more than fair, 681 00:34:10,462 --> 00:34:12,874 and I strongly suspect that you will find it very difficult 682 00:34:12,997 --> 00:34:15,077 to get that price from any other buyer, 683 00:34:15,231 --> 00:34:16,618 especially considering 684 00:34:16,734 --> 00:34:19,103 that your land has endangered species 685 00:34:19,950 --> 00:34:21,741 zoning restrictions, 686 00:34:21,895 --> 00:34:26,364 and that no development is possible upon your land. 687 00:34:26,499 --> 00:34:30,303 I know the development is one of the things you were hoping for. 688 00:34:33,746 --> 00:34:37,213 That development was one of your hopes. 689 00:34:39,871 --> 00:34:43,413 - Mr. Abbott! - Yes, yes, I had hoped 690 00:34:43,513 --> 00:34:44,822 to develop... 691 00:34:45,746 --> 00:34:48,328 - Alas. - Alas, yes. 692 00:34:48,589 --> 00:34:51,690 So, therefore... 693 00:34:52,730 --> 00:34:56,969 As environmentally, socially conscious, aware people, 694 00:34:57,103 --> 00:35:00,012 we believe that your land would be perfect 695 00:35:00,147 --> 00:35:02,381 for a bird sanctuary, 696 00:35:02,497 --> 00:35:06,349 named after yourself, the abbott aviary habitat. 697 00:35:06,503 --> 00:35:09,720 And not only that, we will build a visitors center 698 00:35:09,855 --> 00:35:13,108 for this bird sanctuary, which will be called the abbot 699 00:35:13,223 --> 00:35:16,636 aviary habitat visitors center. 700 00:35:16,751 --> 00:35:19,178 Whoever can say that quickly will win an award. 701 00:35:19,313 --> 00:35:21,335 This is the idea, this is the scope 702 00:35:21,451 --> 00:35:23,592 of what we wanna do with your beautiful land, 703 00:35:23,727 --> 00:35:27,827 We will buy your land for twice what you paid for it in 1974. 704 00:35:27,943 --> 00:35:31,583 So, mr. Abbott, what do you say? 705 00:35:33,683 --> 00:35:34,762 Well, 706 00:35:35,590 --> 00:35:39,231 I... yes, I might as well sell. 707 00:35:39,346 --> 00:35:40,695 Excellent. 708 00:35:40,829 --> 00:35:43,526 Now, if you could just sign the contract. 709 00:35:47,995 --> 00:35:50,615 You look so rich. 710 00:35:52,329 --> 00:35:55,507 There you go. It's all yours. 711 00:35:56,008 --> 00:35:58,992 Thank you, mr. Abbott. You just follow helen here. 712 00:35:59,092 --> 00:36:00,915 This way, mr. Abbott. 713 00:36:01,069 --> 00:36:04,681 - Hey, can I just ask one thing? - I'm afraid we have notime to question. 714 00:36:04,796 --> 00:36:08,311 - Thank you, and... - Aren't you rudy blue? 715 00:36:10,043 --> 00:36:11,391 Yep, that's me. 716 00:36:11,507 --> 00:36:14,146 Shit the bed, I thought so. I thought that you... 717 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:17,701 You know, I got to tell you, you are my favorite player of all time. 718 00:36:17,801 --> 00:36:19,646 - Thank you. - Enough of that, mr. Abbott. 719 00:36:19,746 --> 00:36:22,075 But, my God, man, 720 00:36:23,036 --> 00:36:25,617 and I say this from my heart, 721 00:36:25,752 --> 00:36:29,874 you have got to lay off that underage pussy. 722 00:36:32,325 --> 00:36:33,404 Baby. 723 00:36:36,900 --> 00:36:39,557 Hey, look, can't I just stay and watch? 724 00:36:39,673 --> 00:36:42,273 Look, you just sold three millions dollars with the land, buddy. 725 00:36:42,389 --> 00:36:44,214 You don't stand around and watch after that. 726 00:36:44,314 --> 00:36:47,719 I know, but if I can get his autograph, I can sell it on ebay. 727 00:36:48,797 --> 00:36:51,147 This will cover the autograph. 728 00:36:53,035 --> 00:36:55,366 And so, ladies and gentlemen, 729 00:36:55,597 --> 00:36:59,813 say goodbye to the abbott aviary habitat visitors center, 730 00:36:59,913 --> 00:37:03,437 and say hello to Edenfalls II. 731 00:37:03,918 --> 00:37:05,940 Edenfalls II... 732 00:37:06,056 --> 00:37:08,907 144 luxury homes 733 00:37:09,061 --> 00:37:10,869 in a garden setting 734 00:37:10,969 --> 00:37:13,607 with a gated community around you. 735 00:37:13,722 --> 00:37:16,400 Gated, of course, to keep out the riffraff. 736 00:37:16,785 --> 00:37:19,595 A safe, secure community, 737 00:37:19,695 --> 00:37:22,428 a safe, secure investment. 738 00:37:22,602 --> 00:37:25,260 And you're sure the protection is gonna be lifted on monday. 739 00:37:25,395 --> 00:37:26,493 I'm sure as sure. 740 00:37:26,609 --> 00:37:29,325 I happen to have some photos of mr. Undersecretary 741 00:37:29,459 --> 00:37:31,135 underneath his secretary, 742 00:37:31,598 --> 00:37:34,217 and so we are assured of his assurance. 743 00:37:34,371 --> 00:37:35,431 I'm in. 744 00:37:36,875 --> 00:37:37,896 Sounds good. 745 00:37:38,012 --> 00:37:40,417 Very good. Now, if you could just turn to the red folder, 746 00:37:40,517 --> 00:37:43,115 the limited partnership agreement and sign that, 747 00:37:43,230 --> 00:37:45,022 that would be wonderful. 748 00:37:51,633 --> 00:37:52,750 Baby? 749 00:37:59,260 --> 00:38:04,057 - Is there a problem? - No. Rudy? There's no problem. 750 00:38:05,218 --> 00:38:07,530 There's no problem, is there? 751 00:38:10,053 --> 00:38:13,116 It's extortion. It's illegal. 752 00:38:13,405 --> 00:38:17,007 - It's only a little illegal. - Yeah, but it's illegal. 753 00:38:17,585 --> 00:38:21,205 I just got out of jail. I... I can't do stuff like this. 754 00:38:21,305 --> 00:38:25,040 If we've done that, then if you could please 755 00:38:25,175 --> 00:38:29,605 and transfer the money into the Panco account. 756 00:38:38,918 --> 00:38:41,133 Please make the transaction. 757 00:38:44,408 --> 00:38:46,315 Yes, please, wire the money. 758 00:38:46,431 --> 00:38:48,839 No, I don't understand why this is so difficult for you. 759 00:38:48,954 --> 00:38:53,365 Thank you. 6-6-5-9-6-5. 760 00:38:56,851 --> 00:39:00,646 Please sign. Please. 761 00:39:09,306 --> 00:39:10,944 Banco rio dinero? 762 00:39:15,524 --> 00:39:18,914 Transfer 500,000 to Panco, inc. 763 00:39:19,049 --> 00:39:22,631 Yes, 1-1-3-5-6. 764 00:39:23,094 --> 00:39:24,172 Gracias. 765 00:39:28,961 --> 00:39:30,328 "rudy blue." 766 00:39:33,487 --> 00:39:35,105 Thank you so much. 767 00:39:35,702 --> 00:39:37,166 Nobody move. 768 00:39:37,628 --> 00:39:39,188 Robert Chin, FBI. 769 00:39:39,322 --> 00:39:42,577 You are all under arrest for conspiracy to commit real estate fraud. 770 00:39:42,677 --> 00:39:43,929 Who is this? What's going on? 771 00:39:44,045 --> 00:39:46,683 - You didn't tell me there'd be cops. - Everyone calm down. 772 00:39:46,799 --> 00:39:48,357 Agent chin, We can work something out. 773 00:39:48,457 --> 00:39:50,105 Yeah. I've got it all on tape 774 00:39:50,205 --> 00:39:52,047 You are all looking at 30 to life. 775 00:39:52,644 --> 00:39:54,974 What did you get me into? I'll be deported! 776 00:39:55,089 --> 00:39:57,091 - I'll go to jail! - Sit down! Back! Get back! 777 00:39:57,191 --> 00:39:59,674 You wont take me to jail! 778 00:40:05,545 --> 00:40:07,182 Jesus, he's dead. 779 00:40:08,300 --> 00:40:10,438 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Holy crap. 780 00:40:10,553 --> 00:40:14,907 - You killed an fbi agent. - I didn't mean to. I... I panicked. 781 00:40:15,268 --> 00:40:17,907 - Forget it. We're out of here. - No, no, no. God! Help me. 782 00:40:18,696 --> 00:40:21,586 You can help us. Come back. Just help us here. 783 00:40:22,029 --> 00:40:24,234 Rudy, you'll help us. No. This is gonna go viral. 784 00:40:24,350 --> 00:40:26,141 No one has to know you were ever here. 785 00:40:26,256 --> 00:40:28,238 - He got all on tape. - We'll destroy the tape. 786 00:40:28,338 --> 00:40:30,319 - We'll destroy the body. - Are you insane? 787 00:40:30,419 --> 00:40:32,690 We won't destroy the body. No, no, destroy it. 788 00:40:33,999 --> 00:40:35,645 No, baby, don't go, please. I need you. 789 00:40:35,761 --> 00:40:37,603 - What if one of them tells? - No they can't, 790 00:40:37,703 --> 00:40:41,015 - they're accessories to murder - Accessories to... Holy mother of shit! 791 00:40:41,632 --> 00:40:44,194 - Listen, I want my money back. - You can't get the money back. 792 00:40:44,309 --> 00:40:47,718 It's in Panco already. But it's a very good investment. 32% over two years. 793 00:40:47,853 --> 00:40:49,527 I'm a silent partner, you understand? 794 00:40:49,627 --> 00:40:51,859 For all you know, I'm still in prison. 795 00:40:53,053 --> 00:40:56,540 - Oh, jesus, I could go back to prison. - Rudy, I love you. 796 00:40:56,655 --> 00:40:59,063 Oh, stay away from me, both of you! 797 00:40:59,178 --> 00:41:01,085 Rudy, rudy. Call me. 798 00:41:01,201 --> 00:41:04,071 - It's not as bad as it seems. - Get away! 799 00:41:18,176 --> 00:41:20,969 You died so well. 800 00:41:21,257 --> 00:41:22,529 Very good, bob. 801 00:41:22,817 --> 00:41:24,859 That is the end of the emergency training program, 802 00:41:24,974 --> 00:41:27,305 and I think we really learned something here today. 803 00:41:27,421 --> 00:41:29,039 - That was so great. - Very good. 804 00:41:29,481 --> 00:41:32,313 How was it? I thought maybe I came in a little early, and 805 00:41:32,429 --> 00:41:34,682 I think I could have been stronger on that second line. 806 00:41:34,798 --> 00:41:37,298 It was very good. It was... It was real. 807 00:41:37,452 --> 00:41:39,260 It was very precise. You were in the moment. 808 00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,362 Your intentions were good. That's the main thing. 809 00:41:41,497 --> 00:41:43,777 - Something for yourself. - These seminars are so great. 810 00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:46,678 I don't get a lot of opportunities to practice my craft. 811 00:41:46,795 --> 00:41:49,935 - So you all can come next week? - Uh, that would be? 812 00:41:50,070 --> 00:41:52,782 Cats. I play Bustopher Jones, 813 00:41:52,921 --> 00:41:55,213 community playhouse on lake street this saturday night. 814 00:41:56,177 --> 00:41:58,371 - All right, great. - Oh, hey, bob. 815 00:41:58,506 --> 00:42:01,934 Next week with the pool, a little less chlorine. 816 00:42:02,281 --> 00:42:03,764 Sure thing, mrs. Rich. 817 00:42:04,361 --> 00:42:05,421 Hey, thanks. 818 00:42:08,021 --> 00:42:09,986 Oh my God! 819 00:42:12,355 --> 00:42:13,858 Holy shit. 820 00:42:14,050 --> 00:42:17,016 We just made half a million dollars. 821 00:42:17,132 --> 00:42:19,018 Panco just made half a million dollars. 822 00:42:19,118 --> 00:42:21,909 We didn't make a thing. That's great. 823 00:42:22,043 --> 00:42:25,183 Good for Panco. We were really good. 824 00:42:25,299 --> 00:42:27,533 - I was really good. - No, I was better. 825 00:42:27,649 --> 00:42:30,076 - But I was good. - I did a lot of stuff. 826 00:42:36,524 --> 00:42:38,835 Next time we should keep the money. 827 00:42:39,163 --> 00:42:40,376 You think? 828 00:42:41,185 --> 00:42:42,302 Well, 829 00:42:43,824 --> 00:42:46,328 I wouldn't have to pretend to be a lawyer. 830 00:42:46,847 --> 00:42:51,759 You wouldn't have to pretend to do whatever it is he wants you to do. 831 00:42:52,664 --> 00:42:53,858 Well... 832 00:42:56,517 --> 00:42:58,289 You got a job. 833 00:42:58,982 --> 00:43:00,523 I got a job. 834 00:43:02,488 --> 00:43:04,164 The kids are in school. 835 00:43:06,649 --> 00:43:08,344 We live here now. 836 00:43:09,287 --> 00:43:10,636 We do? 837 00:43:11,753 --> 00:43:12,774 Yeah. 838 00:43:19,092 --> 00:43:21,096 So what do we do now? 839 00:43:21,442 --> 00:43:25,025 - I thought you knew. - No. 840 00:43:26,122 --> 00:43:27,798 Do you know? 841 00:43:28,780 --> 00:43:31,689 Rudy blue, rudy blue is your guy. 842 00:43:31,824 --> 00:43:33,596 It did take two days, 843 00:43:33,731 --> 00:43:37,468 but, ultimately, I persuaded him that real estate is a solid investment. 844 00:43:37,584 --> 00:43:41,243 You got rudy blue to invest $500,000 in Panco. 845 00:43:41,398 --> 00:43:44,114 Yes, but he wants to remain anonymous. 846 00:43:44,229 --> 00:43:47,215 No publicity. He's actually a very shy man. 847 00:43:47,331 --> 00:43:49,083 I think he's becoming a recluse. 848 00:43:49,757 --> 00:43:51,260 How'd you talk him into it, Doug? 849 00:43:51,414 --> 00:43:54,495 I just persuaded him that trust is an important thing. 850 00:43:54,630 --> 00:43:56,537 That he should trust me. 851 00:43:57,384 --> 00:44:00,293 You could sell the hair off a dog, couldn't you? 852 00:44:00,794 --> 00:44:02,411 You know, maybe I... 853 00:44:02,585 --> 00:44:05,589 Maybe I should make you a partner. What the hell?! 854 00:44:05,705 --> 00:44:07,438 There's another one! 855 00:44:08,845 --> 00:44:12,023 - Looks like a blood stain. - Oh, my gosh. 856 00:44:13,025 --> 00:44:16,088 Those rug cleaners. I don't know what they used, but it did not work. 857 00:44:16,203 --> 00:44:19,054 You should see over by my desk. Hellacious mess. 858 00:44:19,170 --> 00:44:22,868 You were right, Hugh. I never should have hired them shitheads. 859 00:44:31,812 --> 00:44:34,701 All right then, back to work. 860 00:44:45,990 --> 00:44:50,735 ~ SeriesSub.com ~ 861 00:44:50,785 --> 00:44:55,335 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 64170