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1
00:00:00,331 --> 00:00:03,570
The answer's here.
It's here. Come on!
2
00:00:03,690 --> 00:00:04,690
What are you doing?
3
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:06,004
I have a lineup problem.
4
00:00:06,124 --> 00:00:07,908
I-I got everything
but the flex.
5
00:00:07,909 --> 00:00:09,993
It's between Lamar
Miller or Greg Jennings.
6
00:00:09,994 --> 00:00:11,628
There are rankings
Web sites for this.
7
00:00:11,629 --> 00:00:14,331
The rankings Web sites list
them as equal, but they're not.
8
00:00:14,332 --> 00:00:16,333
I just have to figure out
the right calculations.
9
00:00:16,334 --> 00:00:18,535
And which calculation
is you writing "Miller" and
10
00:00:18,536 --> 00:00:19,720
"Jennings" over and over again?
11
00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:20,721
Please.
12
00:00:20,722 --> 00:00:22,339
Really a beautiful mind at work.
13
00:00:22,340 --> 00:00:23,340
Yeah, Russell Browe.
14
00:00:23,341 --> 00:00:26,560
So funny to watch you
obsess over trivial pursuits,
15
00:00:26,561 --> 00:00:28,845
where I have given myself
to the greater good.
16
00:00:28,846 --> 00:00:30,847
You know, today I'm working
with the Caring Comrades.
17
00:00:30,848 --> 00:00:31,515
That's great.
18
00:00:31,516 --> 00:00:34,151
You do a lot of calf implants, give
that money to someone who needs it.
19
00:00:34,152 --> 00:00:36,153
No, no, no, I'm not
giving money, Pete.
20
00:00:36,154 --> 00:00:37,738
I'm giving my friendship.
21
00:00:37,739 --> 00:00:38,355
What?
22
00:00:38,356 --> 00:00:39,356
I'm working with Donald.
23
00:00:39,357 --> 00:00:40,440
He, uh, has ALS.
24
00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:41,525
Lou Gehrig's disease.
25
00:00:41,526 --> 00:00:44,227
Today, today, today... I
feel like the most, most,
26
00:00:44,228 --> 00:00:46,163
most... unlucky
man in the world.
27
00:00:46,781 --> 00:00:48,865
I think the key with donations,
Andre, is it has to
28
00:00:48,866 --> 00:00:49,899
be something they actually want.
29
00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:51,535
You can't donate a
punch in the face.
30
00:00:51,536 --> 00:00:52,536
He loves this.
31
00:00:52,537 --> 00:00:55,505
He's confined to a hospital bed,
but he gets to experience Dre
32
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Town through me.
33
00:00:56,841 --> 00:00:58,908
So, by comparison, he realizes
that his life in the
34
00:00:58,909 --> 00:01:00,344
hospital isn't actually so bad.
35
00:01:00,345 --> 00:01:03,880
I'm offering you an opportunity
to be charitable today.
36
00:01:03,881 --> 00:01:05,098
Pete, are you with me?
37
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I'm good.
38
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:06,717
Oh, Andre, ask me, ask me.
39
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,352
Okay, Ruxin, would
you come with me?
40
00:01:08,353 --> 00:01:09,353
No!
41
00:01:09,354 --> 00:01:10,354
All right, I'll go with you.
42
00:01:10,355 --> 00:01:10,971
Thank you.
43
00:01:10,972 --> 00:01:13,056
It'll give me a break from this
lineup conundrum, and it'll
44
00:01:13,057 --> 00:01:13,974
look good at work.
45
00:01:14,809 --> 00:01:15,809
Ooh, text from Rachel.
46
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You're still dating that girl?
47
00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:20,113
What is your problem with this girl?
You guys are j... How old is she?
48
00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:21,698
She is 23 years old.
49
00:01:21,699 --> 00:01:23,950
That means that her first Star
Wars film was The Phantom
50
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Menace.
51
00:01:24,902 --> 00:01:26,903
Her R2-D2 is Jar Jar Binks--
I'm good with that.
52
00:01:26,904 --> 00:01:27,904
Oh, Mr.
53
00:01:27,905 --> 00:01:30,490
Pete, the old, old man have
a small penis a-like you?
54
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What's that?
55
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:33,744
I don't know.
56
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,664
Good afternoon, gentlemen.
57
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Aw, Jesus, Taco, what did you
do to Uncle Frank's van?
58
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:42,636
I hit the jackpot is what I did.
59
00:01:42,637 --> 00:01:45,639
Guys, when my puppies died, I
was feeling pretty depressed.
60
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:48,425
Sweeping up dog hair, I was
thinking to myself, "What am I
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00:01:48,426 --> 00:01:49,726
doing with my life?"
62
00:01:49,727 --> 00:01:50,727
And then it hit me.
63
00:01:50,728 --> 00:01:54,064
I could be sweeping up human
pubic hair that I cut.
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No.
65
00:01:55,066 --> 00:01:56,066
That's right, friends.
66
00:01:56,067 --> 00:01:58,151
I'm gonna be a barber
for down there.
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00:01:58,152 --> 00:01:59,152
Taco, that's insane.
68
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:01,154
Insane that no one's thought of it?
I know.
69
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,155
It's the perfect business.
70
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:04,307
I get to recycle the grooming
equipment from my puppy
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00:02:04,308 --> 00:02:05,409
business, I get to make my own
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00:02:05,410 --> 00:02:07,828
hours and I'm super
comfortable around genitals.
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00:02:07,829 --> 00:02:09,830
Oh, you're gonna make your
nut on people's nuts.
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00:02:09,831 --> 00:02:10,478
Exactly.
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00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:14,382
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
76
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,453
Donald, look, I
brought a friend.
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00:02:16,454 --> 00:02:19,339
This is Kevin, and
this is Donald.
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00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:20,841
And I am his Caring Comrade.
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00:02:20,842 --> 00:02:23,343
You mean,
"I'm your Caring Comrade."
80
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,345
Why would you be
my Caring Comrade?
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00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:27,180
Because you have cancer.
82
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,266
I don't have cancer--
I-I'm just bald.
83
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I told you that.
84
00:02:30,268 --> 00:02:32,636
Then why are you so pale
and sickly looking?
85
00:02:32,637 --> 00:02:33,637
Enough.
86
00:02:33,638 --> 00:02:36,807
Did you notice, though, that his computer
voice sounds a lot like Ruxin's?
87
00:02:36,808 --> 00:02:39,476
My voice is too cold and
emotionless to be a human voice.
88
00:02:39,477 --> 00:02:41,478
Yeah, that's pretty much Ruxin.
89
00:02:41,479 --> 00:02:42,112
Yeah.
90
00:02:42,113 --> 00:02:45,115
So, Donald, would you like to go
out to lunch with the two of us?
91
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:48,201
If it's not
for charity, I wouldn't have
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00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:51,238
lunch with you if it was
the only cure for ALS.
93
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,240
That's a good one, buddy.
94
00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:54,241
Fives.
95
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Come on.
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00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:57,828
This is amazing.
97
00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:58,462
Yeah.
98
00:02:58,463 --> 00:03:00,464
Yeah, give you fifteens
for that one, yeah.
99
00:03:00,465 --> 00:03:02,466
God, Andre, you made it weird.
100
00:03:02,467 --> 00:03:03,550
You made it strange.
101
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,886
He always does.
102
00:03:05,887 --> 00:03:09,589
Why do I always
have goddamn flex problems?
103
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,057
The safe play is Lamar Miller.
104
00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:13,176
But there's something sexy about
that Greg Jennings at home on
105
00:03:13,177 --> 00:03:15,095
Sunday night against
his old team.
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00:03:15,096 --> 00:03:17,180
Feel like everyone's gonna make
fun of me if I play a wide
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00:03:17,181 --> 00:03:19,099
receiver instead
of a running back.
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00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:21,518
Oh, sh...
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00:03:21,519 --> 00:03:23,436
Oh!
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00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:24,855
Where am I?
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00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,740
Who's there?
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00:03:26,741 --> 00:03:28,575
I'm Greg Jennings.
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And I'm your flex.
114
00:03:30,161 --> 00:03:32,162
Greg Jennings, are you
sure you're my flex?
115
00:03:32,163 --> 00:03:34,498
Let's take a look at some of the
bad decisions you've made in
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00:03:34,499 --> 00:03:36,032
fantasy seasons past.
117
00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:39,753
Good luck finding them, Greg.
118
00:03:39,754 --> 00:03:41,621
Andre will never know.
119
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,373
Cheating in fantasy football.
120
00:03:43,374 --> 00:03:44,374
I know. It didn't even help.
121
00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:46,376
It made no difference
whatsoever.
122
00:03:46,377 --> 00:03:49,713
I'm here to help you make better
decisions, starting with me.
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00:03:49,714 --> 00:03:55,635
If you take my advice, this is how
your fantasy season could turn out.
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00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:58,104
Oh, wow, Shiva.
125
00:03:58,105 --> 00:04:00,273
Let's clean you up,
you dirty girl.
126
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:01,775
Showering with Shiva.
127
00:04:01,776 --> 00:04:02,776
I want that, Greg Jennings.
128
00:04:02,777 --> 00:04:03,944
That's my fantasy fantasy.
129
00:04:03,945 --> 00:04:05,946
And it all starts
with one decision.
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00:04:05,947 --> 00:04:06,563
What?
131
00:04:06,564 --> 00:04:07,564
I'm your flex.
132
00:04:07,565 --> 00:04:09,566
You're so wise, Greg Jennings.
133
00:04:09,567 --> 00:04:10,650
What is the meaning of life?
134
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:13,737
It's about spending time with your fam...
Am I doing the right thing
135
00:04:13,738 --> 00:04:14,287
with my hair?
136
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:16,573
I mean, it's not quite
straight, it's not curly.
137
00:04:16,574 --> 00:04:20,243
It's sort of a wavy... Kevin,
I have to leave you now.
138
00:04:20,244 --> 00:04:21,328
No.
139
00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:22,412
Yes.
140
00:04:22,413 --> 00:04:23,413
Oh.
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00:04:23,414 --> 00:04:27,634
Remember, Kevin, no fantasy team is
a failure if you have a great flex.
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00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:28,635
Greg Jennings is my flex.
143
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:29,636
Say it.
144
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:30,637
Greg Jennings is my flex.
145
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:31,638
Say it again.
146
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:32,889
Greg Jennings is my flex.
147
00:04:32,890 --> 00:04:34,090
Yes.
148
00:04:34,091 --> 00:04:36,059
Greg Jennings is my flex.
149
00:04:36,060 --> 00:04:37,894
Greg Jennings is my flex.
150
00:04:37,895 --> 00:04:41,147
Greg Jennings is my...
151
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:43,066
Shit! Holy shit!
152
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:45,936
Oh, my God. Oh.
153
00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:48,021
Oh.
154
00:04:48,022 --> 00:04:50,440
That was amazing.
155
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:53,860
I have clarity.
156
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:54,861
Hi.
157
00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:57,497
Greg... I had a lovely
day, thank you for asking.
158
00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:58,498
How was yours?
159
00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:59,115
It was great.
160
00:04:59,116 --> 00:05:01,117
I almost got into a
near-fatal car accident.
161
00:05:01,118 --> 00:05:01,751
What?
162
00:05:01,752 --> 00:05:03,753
I saw this truck
coming right at me.
163
00:05:03,754 --> 00:05:04,754
I saw the light coming at me.
164
00:05:04,755 --> 00:05:07,007
Kevin... I would have
been decapitated.
165
00:05:07,008 --> 00:05:08,425
Oh, my God, are you okay?
166
00:05:08,426 --> 00:05:11,678
I saw, with clarity, exactly
who to play in my flex.
167
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,713
Greg Jennings. He spoke to me.
168
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,015
It was awesome, babe.
169
00:05:15,016 --> 00:05:16,132
Yes.
170
00:05:16,133 --> 00:05:18,468
You just had a near-death
experience, saw your whole life
171
00:05:18,469 --> 00:05:21,638
flash before your eyes...
and you saw your lineup?
172
00:05:21,639 --> 00:05:22,639
Yes.
173
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,641
You didn't see your
wife or your kids?
174
00:05:24,642 --> 00:05:25,725
You saw Greg Jennings.
175
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,360
No, I... Mmm.
176
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,361
Y... I saw you.
177
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,363
I think I saw someone
that looked like you.
178
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,515
I was shouting. I was like, "Hey,
Jenny, Greg Jennings and I
179
00:05:32,516 --> 00:05:33,483
are going on a bike ride!
180
00:05:33,484 --> 00:05:34,985
It's a two-seater."
181
00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:36,236
And I saw the-the other ones.
182
00:05:36,237 --> 00:05:37,237
Being your children?
183
00:05:37,238 --> 00:05:38,238
Yes. Ellie and Chalupa.
184
00:05:38,239 --> 00:05:39,239
Christopher.
185
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:39,873
CB.
186
00:05:39,874 --> 00:05:40,874
Christopher.
187
00:05:41,876 --> 00:05:42,876
Glad you're okay, Kevin.
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00:05:42,877 --> 00:05:43,910
Thank you.
189
00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:46,379
Thank you so much.
190
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:49,421
Terrific end to a
Terrific Lady Day.
191
00:05:49,541 --> 00:05:50,154
Mmm.
192
00:05:50,274 --> 00:05:51,107
Right?
193
00:05:51,108 --> 00:05:55,195
So is there something that
you would like me to do?
194
00:05:55,196 --> 00:05:58,064
Mmm, this is really nice,
but I'll think about it.
195
00:05:58,065 --> 00:06:00,450
Mm-hmm.
196
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,410
What are you doing?
197
00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,462
I was just trying to give you a
hint that I figured out what I
198
00:06:12,463 --> 00:06:14,414
wanted and it was a
little B-jibbers.
199
00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:15,048
"B-jibbers"?
200
00:06:15,049 --> 00:06:18,051
Yeah, a little BJ Raji, a little...
What are you talking about?
201
00:06:18,052 --> 00:06:18,668
What?
202
00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:19,669
David Blowie?
203
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:20,754
No, no.
204
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,639
No, I don't want to do that.
205
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:23,640
Why not, babe?
206
00:06:23,641 --> 00:06:25,058
Your bush is brambly.
207
00:06:25,059 --> 00:06:27,227
And I go down there,
I can't breathe.
208
00:06:27,228 --> 00:06:28,728
And it pokes my eye.
209
00:06:28,729 --> 00:06:29,930
Just trim that thing.
210
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:30,931
It's thick.
211
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,933
I'm not gonna trim
my pubic hair.
212
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:33,934
I do it for you.
213
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:37,103
And I'm so grateful that you do,
whether it's the breadstick
214
00:06:37,104 --> 00:06:38,488
or the pizza slice.
215
00:06:38,489 --> 00:06:41,658
But I'm working with a calzone--
it's natural, it's manly.
216
00:06:41,659 --> 00:06:43,026
You need to trim it.
217
00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:45,028
Okay, I'll trim it, I promise.
218
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:47,030
But tonight, you've had
a Terrific Lady Day.
219
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,833
Can I just get a
Terrific Man Minute?
220
00:06:49,834 --> 00:06:51,585
Fine.
221
00:06:51,586 --> 00:06:54,337
I'll just give myself a
Terrific Man 30 Seconds.
222
00:06:54,338 --> 00:06:56,339
Well, bring your weed whacker.
223
00:06:56,340 --> 00:06:59,092
I'm not afraid of doing
my own yard work.
224
00:06:59,093 --> 00:07:01,711
Rachel, that was the best
handcuff party I've ever been to.
225
00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:03,713
That was the only handcuff
party you've ever been to.
226
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:06,349
All right, that might be...
Look, I found a bed.
227
00:07:06,350 --> 00:07:07,550
Oh, my gosh, what happened?
228
00:07:08,552 --> 00:07:10,804
Now, you have done
so much for me.
229
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,138
What can I do for you?
230
00:07:12,139 --> 00:07:14,691
Oh, I don't know.
231
00:07:17,144 --> 00:07:18,695
Why are you tapping my head?
232
00:07:20,615 --> 00:07:23,450
Oh, okay, I get it.
233
00:07:23,451 --> 00:07:24,451
I get it, sure.
234
00:07:24,452 --> 00:07:25,452
I know this move.
235
00:07:25,453 --> 00:07:26,453
Mmm.
236
00:07:26,454 --> 00:07:27,787
Put the old tie back.
237
00:07:27,788 --> 00:07:28,405
Ah.
238
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,407
Okay.
239
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:34,494
Wow, these are really... tiny.
240
00:07:36,163 --> 00:07:38,965
Um, are those frosted tips?
241
00:07:38,966 --> 00:07:40,967
Do you like 'em?
242
00:07:40,968 --> 00:07:42,969
Have you been to a place
called Pubercuts?
243
00:07:42,970 --> 00:07:44,587
Maybe I have and
maybe I haven't.
244
00:07:44,588 --> 00:07:45,588
Wait, that's a "T."
245
00:07:45,589 --> 00:07:47,590
That's-that's the "Taco
by Taco" promotion.
246
00:07:47,591 --> 00:07:48,591
Oh, you know Taco?
247
00:07:48,592 --> 00:07:49,592
You should try it.
248
00:07:49,593 --> 00:07:51,311
Uh, uh, no, no, thank you, okay?
249
00:07:51,312 --> 00:07:53,379
I've used Taco's homemade
deodorant-- I'm not letting him
250
00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:54,314
put scissors down there.
251
00:07:54,315 --> 00:07:56,349
Pubic barbershops are, like,
totally in right now.
252
00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:57,400
Yeah, they're in a van.
253
00:07:57,401 --> 00:07:58,401
It's mobile.
254
00:07:58,402 --> 00:07:59,402
They come to you.
255
00:07:59,403 --> 00:08:00,570
You don't get this, do you?
256
00:08:00,571 --> 00:08:01,855
No, I think you don't get it.
257
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:02,522
Oh.
258
00:08:02,523 --> 00:08:03,690
I'm just... I'm gonna go.
259
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:05,191
You can keep my tiny underwear.
260
00:08:05,192 --> 00:08:07,577
I'll see you later.
261
00:08:10,064 --> 00:08:11,448
Taco.
262
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:14,084
Bam! Touchdown, Greg
Jennings, from the flex.
263
00:08:14,085 --> 00:08:15,201
Deal with that.
264
00:08:15,202 --> 00:08:17,837
Wow. You should have a near-death
flexperience more often.
265
00:08:17,838 --> 00:08:19,839
I would love to, but Jenny
won't be happy about it.
266
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,841
She didn't even like the
way this one turned out.
267
00:08:21,842 --> 00:08:22,792
Oh, I wonder why.
268
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:25,045
Maybe it's because, when you
were dying, you didn't think
269
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,046
about your wife and kids.
270
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:26,963
This is my last moment.
271
00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:29,099
Can't it be about me
and my true fantasies?
272
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:30,717
Why does your
lineup even matter?
273
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:31,718
You're gonna be dead.
274
00:08:31,719 --> 00:08:33,720
I'll always play
fantasy football.
275
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:35,355
I'll set my lineup
from the grave.
276
00:08:35,356 --> 00:08:37,423
Well, good luck in the
afterlife, Ghost Commissioner,
277
00:08:37,424 --> 00:08:38,975
but in this life you
have a very upset wife.
278
00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:39,976
I'll make it up to her.
279
00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,695
I'll-I'll take her to
dinner or something.
280
00:08:41,696 --> 00:08:43,697
I'll take her to that place,
Lemon, that you guys went to.
281
00:08:43,698 --> 00:08:45,315
Good luck getting a reservation.
282
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:47,450
Sofia's sorority sister's the
hostess-- that's the only reason
283
00:08:47,451 --> 00:08:48,034
we got a table.
284
00:08:48,035 --> 00:08:50,036
But if you do go there, you
got to try the escargot.
285
00:08:50,037 --> 00:08:51,654
Taco... Mm-hmm?
286
00:08:51,655 --> 00:08:53,656
Are you trimming Rachel's pubes?
287
00:08:53,657 --> 00:08:55,291
Sorry, Pete, barber-patient
confidentiality.
288
00:08:55,292 --> 00:08:57,911
There is no such thing as
"barber-patient confidentiality."
289
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:58,912
Oh, there isn't?
290
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,881
Well, then, yes, Rachel has a standing
appointment with me... Oh...
291
00:09:01,882 --> 00:09:04,084
...every Tuesday for a simple
trim and some highlights.
292
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,085
Unless she's on her period.
293
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,720
Then... All right,
you know what?
294
00:09:06,721 --> 00:09:09,339
Enough. Let's just pretend there
is barber-patient confidentiality.
295
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,340
What are you so upset about?
296
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,425
You guys are Eskimo brothers to
begin with-- you both had sex
297
00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:13,343
with Heather.
298
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:14,344
Very different.
299
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,346
There was sufficient time
between me and Taco.
300
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,347
It's like Chernobyl.
301
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:19,349
I waited three weeks before I
got into the exclusion zone.
302
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,351
What is the half-life for semen?
303
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,103
I don't understand
what's the big deal.
304
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,188
It's not like I notarized
her vagina or anything.
305
00:09:25,823 --> 00:09:27,907
I mean, professionally, what do
you do with men, though, in
306
00:09:27,908 --> 00:09:29,159
that kind of situation?
307
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,160
Why-why do you ask?
308
00:09:30,161 --> 00:09:32,245
Sofia doesn't like playing
through the rough; she just
309
00:09:32,246 --> 00:09:33,246
wants to be on the green.
310
00:09:33,247 --> 00:09:35,448
Why don't you give Pubercuts a
ring and we'll pencil you in
311
00:09:35,449 --> 00:09:37,617
and I'll take that Questlove
down to a Kevin Hart in 20
312
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:38,618
minutes.
313
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:40,620
How 'bout it?
314
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,020
Oh, Ruspin, welcome
to Pubercuts.
315
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,221
Huh? What can I do you for?
316
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:52,557
Um, honestly, I just was
hoping to get some clippers,
317
00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:54,476
maybe a little advice, and then
we could both be on our way.
318
00:09:54,477 --> 00:09:56,478
Look, Ruxin, this
isn't a Walgreens.
319
00:09:56,479 --> 00:09:57,112
Yeah.
320
00:09:57,113 --> 00:09:58,113
I'm an artist.
321
00:09:58,114 --> 00:10:00,198
How do you know my name is
Ruxin certain times and other
322
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:01,233
times it's "Ruspin"?
323
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,284
Your name is Ruspin Ruxin.
324
00:10:02,285 --> 00:10:04,286
You think my first
name is Ruspin?
325
00:10:04,287 --> 00:10:06,371
Yeah, but everyone calls you
Ruxin because you don't really
326
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:07,489
like your first name.
327
00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:08,824
Yeah, that's right, Taco.
328
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:11,877
Yeah. Look, Ruspin...
Sorry, Ruxin.
329
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:12,878
Thank you.
330
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:15,464
You want Sofia's luscious lips
to "B" that "D" ever again?
331
00:10:15,465 --> 00:10:17,666
Let me clean you up and give
her a clear path to it.
332
00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:20,385
I can't believe
I'm doing this.
333
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:23,221
Okay, now, anything on the
menu catching your eye?
334
00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:24,806
What's the Fu Man Pube?
335
00:10:24,807 --> 00:10:27,426
Fu Man Pube is two thin strips
of hair going around your
336
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,344
"D" all the way
down to your "A."
337
00:10:29,345 --> 00:10:30,979
Just a simple trim, okay, Taco?
338
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:33,565
All right, let's get you ready
for your first Pubercut.
339
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,068
All right, you comfortable?
340
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,153
No, I feel like I'm about to give
birth to the worst decision
341
00:10:38,154 --> 00:10:39,521
I've ever made.
342
00:10:39,522 --> 00:10:40,906
Ah, that's what they all say.
343
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:43,909
All right, let's see
what we got here.
344
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:47,195
Oh, boy. It's like a front
lawn of a foreclosed home.
345
00:10:47,196 --> 00:10:48,447
All right.
346
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,699
Let's just get
you started here.
347
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:51,700
What is that?
348
00:10:51,701 --> 00:10:52,701
It's a straight razor.
349
00:10:52,702 --> 00:10:55,087
You're not coming close
to me with that.
350
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:56,088
This is my tool.
351
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,673
You got to trust... Ow.
352
00:10:57,674 --> 00:10:59,458
I'll use the clippers.
353
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,843
Okay, here we go.
354
00:11:01,844 --> 00:11:03,595
Let's get you started.
355
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,381
Okay, so, what do you want
me to do with your taint?
356
00:11:06,382 --> 00:11:07,382
It's pretty messy.
357
00:11:07,383 --> 00:11:09,017
I don't want you
to touch my taint.
358
00:11:09,018 --> 00:11:10,018
Have it your way.
359
00:11:10,019 --> 00:11:12,020
Don't blame me when Sofia
pays it no attention.
360
00:11:12,021 --> 00:11:13,021
Hey, Taco.
361
00:11:13,022 --> 00:11:14,022
Hey, Gus, come on in.
362
00:11:14,023 --> 00:11:15,023
Have a seat.
363
00:11:15,024 --> 00:11:15,891
Can't he wait outside?
364
00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:16,892
I'm not gonna wait outside.
365
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:17,893
There's a chair in here.
366
00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:19,895
And you want to watch another
dude get his pubes trimmed?
367
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,897
All right, what are you
looking for this week, Gus?
368
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,899
Ooh, I don't know, probably
just a little off the bottom.
369
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,535
If you like what I'm doing here...
Take a look at this.
370
00:11:26,536 --> 00:11:28,153
I'll just move the shaft out...
Jesus, Taco.
371
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:29,154
Oh, boy.
372
00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:31,156
What? What-what just happened?
373
00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:33,158
I kind of accidentally
gave you the Skrillex.
374
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,160
You shaved half of my pubes off?
375
00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:36,161
I will fix it.
376
00:11:36,162 --> 00:11:37,579
Don't you worry about a thing.
377
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:38,964
And here we go.
378
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,165
Take a little off there.
379
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,250
And... done.
380
00:11:42,251 --> 00:11:43,635
All better.
381
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,303
Taco, you shaved me bare.
382
00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:47,305
Gave you the
Hairless in Seattle.
383
00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:48,306
Are we done here?
384
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:49,641
Absolutely. Hot towel?
385
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,309
I don't want a hot towel...
All right, here.
386
00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:54,846
We're in, we're in.
387
00:11:55,848 --> 00:11:56,932
That was fun.
388
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,935
Yeah, I've never been to a place
that has "beer bong" on the menu.
389
00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:02,571
It's fun to try new
things, isn't it?
390
00:12:02,572 --> 00:12:03,572
Yeah, it is.
391
00:12:03,573 --> 00:12:04,573
Yeah.
392
00:12:05,575 --> 00:12:07,576
Let's take this to
the bedroom, huh?
393
00:12:07,577 --> 00:12:08,577
The bedroom? No.
394
00:12:08,578 --> 00:12:10,245
Wh-Whoa. Wha... Whoa.
395
00:12:10,246 --> 00:12:11,413
On the couch.
396
00:12:11,414 --> 00:12:13,365
Okay. You know what?
397
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:17,669
I am down and all on board
for the "Taco by Taco."
398
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:18,670
Yeah?
399
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:19,671
Oh, yes, let's do it.
400
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:20,672
You are gonna love it.
401
00:12:20,673 --> 00:12:21,289
Mwah.
402
00:12:21,290 --> 00:12:23,291
You know what you're
gonna love even more?
403
00:12:23,292 --> 00:12:23,925
What?
404
00:12:23,926 --> 00:12:24,926
Your "Taco by Rachel."
405
00:12:24,927 --> 00:12:26,928
I don't know what that is, but
I love all things Rachel.
406
00:12:27,930 --> 00:12:28,913
Oh, there we go.
407
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:29,931
Okay.
408
00:12:29,932 --> 00:12:30,932
Are you ready?
409
00:12:30,933 --> 00:12:32,517
I am ready.
410
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:33,518
Oh, good.
411
00:12:33,519 --> 00:12:35,520
Okay. Mmm.
412
00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:36,605
Hmm?
413
00:12:36,606 --> 00:12:38,390
What-what is that?
414
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:41,393
Is that, like, some weird
Japanese cell phone or something?
415
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,645
I am going to shave you.
416
00:12:43,646 --> 00:12:45,864
Wh... Oh, no, no, no,
I've never done that.
417
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:48,867
I, uh... No, no, that's... Hey,
there's a first time for everything.
418
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:49,868
Oh, wait, does it hurt?
419
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:52,621
How does... No, it hurts a little bit
the first time, but I promise it
420
00:12:52,622 --> 00:12:53,989
feels so good after that.
421
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:54,990
Can we just talk about it?
422
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:55,991
Can you please trust me?
423
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,075
I want to trust you.
424
00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:59,127
I just want my first time
to be special, you know?
425
00:12:59,128 --> 00:13:00,128
It will be so special.
426
00:13:00,129 --> 00:13:01,129
Mmm.
427
00:13:01,130 --> 00:13:02,113
I will be so gentle.
428
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:03,131
Mmm.
429
00:13:03,132 --> 00:13:04,132
I promise.
430
00:13:04,133 --> 00:13:06,134
Uh, can we start with
just the tip, please?
431
00:13:06,135 --> 00:13:07,219
Just the tip.
432
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,303
Mmm, okay.
433
00:13:08,304 --> 00:13:09,337
I'll go so slow.
434
00:13:09,338 --> 00:13:10,338
Okay.
435
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:12,841
Ooh.
436
00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:18,430
Ooh... Oh, I don't know, I don't know, oh...
Ooh, it's so good.
437
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:19,598
Oh, it feels weird.
438
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:22,100
Mm, please, shh, shh...
Oh, my God.
439
00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:23,101
Whew. So much pubic hair.
440
00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:25,103
Can you guys take some
of this home with you?
441
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:25,737
No.
442
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,405
What do you want us to
do with the pubic hair?
443
00:13:27,406 --> 00:13:29,407
I don't know, stuff
some pillows with it.
444
00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:30,025
It's fluffy.
445
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,193
Oh, make a crafternoon of it?
446
00:13:31,194 --> 00:13:33,745
Guys, you are not gonna
believe what happened to me.
447
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:34,746
What?
448
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:36,164
Rachel date-shaved me.
449
00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:39,084
This is not funny.
450
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:41,319
She got me drunk, she took out
the clippers, and before I knew
451
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,922
it, zip-- I had the
full-on Baby Geoffrey.
452
00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,707
I was violated and
I was deflowered.
453
00:13:45,708 --> 00:13:46,708
Please, you were deforested.
454
00:13:46,709 --> 00:13:49,344
Amateurs should not be clearing
that kind of heavy brush.
455
00:13:49,345 --> 00:13:51,963
Great, well, if you're the expert,
then get over here and fix it.
456
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:54,015
The best I could do for you is
I could transfer some of the
457
00:13:54,016 --> 00:13:55,600
hair from your head
down to your crotch.
458
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:57,602
You're gonna give me
a pubic hair wig?
459
00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:58,937
Mm-hmm. Hair's hair.
460
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:00,138
A regular Vidal Buffoon.
461
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:01,139
This sucks.
462
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,140
I'm, like, on the I.R. now.
463
00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:04,676
It's gonna be three weeks before
I get a Howie Long going,
464
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,895
another two years before
I get my Polamalu back.
465
00:14:06,896 --> 00:14:07,896
It's so itchy, too.
466
00:14:07,897 --> 00:14:09,531
Ruxin, how are you
dealing with this?
467
00:14:09,532 --> 00:14:11,950
Sofia's got this Puerto Rican
agave root formula that's
468
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:14,286
supposed to stimulate growth,
so, uh, I'm all taken care of.
469
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,287
Can you get me some?
470
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:15,904
No.
471
00:14:15,905 --> 00:14:17,956
I'm your friend and I'm
in pain over here.
472
00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:19,958
I don't care about
your penis, Pete!
473
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:23,211
Enough with the Puerto Rogaine
stuff-- I have a real issue.
474
00:14:23,212 --> 00:14:26,548
I need you to tell Sofia we need a
reservation for that Lemon place.
475
00:14:26,549 --> 00:14:28,049
No, no more favors, okay?
476
00:14:28,050 --> 00:14:30,418
This is not a great time
to ask Sofia for favors.
477
00:14:30,419 --> 00:14:32,671
Last night's unveiling
didn't go so well.
478
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:35,307
Oh, Lady Ruxin did not
enjoy the Baby Geoffrey.
479
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,392
My penis does not
look like my son's.
480
00:14:37,393 --> 00:14:39,844
He doesn't have the meaty
clackers that I'm working with.
481
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:41,346
They haven't descended yet.
482
00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:44,649
I'm sure eventually he will grow
the big, beautiful meatballs
483
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:45,684
that I have, all right?
484
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,269
Sounds like someone has
testicular hubris.
485
00:14:47,270 --> 00:14:49,387
Well, I don't really give a shit
because I need some of that
486
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,189
special juice to
make my pubes grow.
487
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:52,824
And I need a Lemon reservation.
488
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,826
No, no, no. Nobody's happy
unless this guy's happy.
489
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:55,827
You're never happy.
490
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:56,444
Yeah.
491
00:14:56,445 --> 00:14:57,779
Exactly.
492
00:14:58,781 --> 00:15:00,865
You know, I think I know of a
way that we can get Ruxin to
493
00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:03,451
call Sofia for us.
494
00:15:03,452 --> 00:15:05,921
Guys, guys, no, no, no,
we cannot do this.
495
00:15:05,922 --> 00:15:06,904
Come on.
496
00:15:06,905 --> 00:15:08,290
We cannot do this.
497
00:15:08,291 --> 00:15:10,959
Special
straw forever unsanitary.
498
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,961
Holy shit, he sounds
just like Ruxin.
499
00:15:12,962 --> 00:15:14,596
What did I tell you, man, huh?
500
00:15:14,597 --> 00:15:16,478
Hey, Donald, it's me, Kevin.
501
00:15:16,598 --> 00:15:17,598
And this is my buddy, Pete.
502
00:15:17,599 --> 00:15:20,601
We were hoping to borrow your voice
so we could call our friend's wife.
503
00:15:20,602 --> 00:15:22,603
Donald, you don't
need to do this.
504
00:15:22,604 --> 00:15:24,021
Shut it, chemo.
505
00:15:25,023 --> 00:15:25,639
Great.
506
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,641
What do you say,
Comrade, help us out?
507
00:15:27,642 --> 00:15:28,976
What's in it for me?
508
00:15:28,977 --> 00:15:30,144
I don't... I don't know.
509
00:15:30,145 --> 00:15:31,145
Whatever you want.
510
00:15:31,146 --> 00:15:31,779
Yeah.
511
00:15:31,780 --> 00:15:33,197
Is the wife hot?
512
00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:34,615
Yeah. Latin.
513
00:15:34,616 --> 00:15:37,618
Donald's disease makes it
impossible for him to get aroused.
514
00:15:37,619 --> 00:15:38,702
Not true.
515
00:15:38,703 --> 00:15:40,287
I get aroused up here.
516
00:15:40,288 --> 00:15:41,288
That's really creepy.
517
00:15:41,289 --> 00:15:42,289
All right, let's do this.
518
00:15:42,290 --> 00:15:43,907
Well, we'll just get
this out of the way.
519
00:15:43,908 --> 00:15:44,908
I'll get Sofia on speaker.
520
00:15:44,909 --> 00:15:45,909
You hang tight.
521
00:15:45,910 --> 00:15:47,911
You're gonna get me kicked
out of Caring Comrades.
522
00:15:47,912 --> 00:15:48,912
We don't give a shit.
523
00:15:49,998 --> 00:15:51,382
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
524
00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:55,386
Hey, babe.
525
00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:56,003
Hey.
526
00:15:56,004 --> 00:15:59,506
Can you call your friend at Lemon and
get us a reservation for Friday?
527
00:15:59,507 --> 00:16:00,674
Really? You want to go again?
528
00:16:00,675 --> 00:16:02,760
Put the reservation
under Kevin's name.
529
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:04,094
Kevin and Jenny might join us.
530
00:16:04,095 --> 00:16:05,980
Oh, God, are you kidding me?
531
00:16:05,981 --> 00:16:07,431
You know how I feel about them.
532
00:16:07,432 --> 00:16:09,016
What the...?
533
00:16:09,017 --> 00:16:10,768
I do?
534
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:13,737
What's the deal with that agave
stuff you put in your hair after
535
00:16:13,738 --> 00:16:15,272
that bad haircut?
536
00:16:15,273 --> 00:16:17,324
Um, I-I got that when
I was back home.
537
00:16:17,325 --> 00:16:18,525
Why?
538
00:16:18,526 --> 00:16:20,194
Back to Kevin and Jenny.
539
00:16:20,195 --> 00:16:22,196
Remind me what your
issue is with them.
540
00:16:22,197 --> 00:16:23,664
But, first, the hair formula.
541
00:16:23,665 --> 00:16:24,698
Where can I get some?
542
00:16:24,699 --> 00:16:26,116
Restaurant. Hair stuff.
543
00:16:26,117 --> 00:16:27,117
Rod... Rod-Rodney?
544
00:16:27,118 --> 00:16:29,703
Skittle-kylock-forkman-zebn,
K-K-K-K.
545
00:16:29,704 --> 00:16:30,704
Stop it.
546
00:16:30,705 --> 00:16:31,885
Babe, you sound
really stressed out.
547
00:16:31,897 --> 00:16:32,987
Are you okay?
548
00:16:33,107 --> 00:16:34,374
I am pretty stressed.
549
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,009
Maybe you can help me relax.
550
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:37,198
Over the phone.
551
00:16:37,433 --> 00:16:38,424
You mean like...
552
00:16:38,677 --> 00:16:40,436
- phone sex?
- Oh, God.
553
00:16:40,556 --> 00:16:41,637
Yeah.
554
00:16:42,153 --> 00:16:44,834
- Phone sex.
- Okay, I mean it's
555
00:16:44,954 --> 00:16:47,116
better than sticking my face
in your tumbleweed.
556
00:16:47,986 --> 00:16:49,843
So what are you wearing?
557
00:16:49,963 --> 00:16:51,404
I'm wearing that low-cut
558
00:16:51,442 --> 00:16:53,670
red and white dress that you like
so much.
559
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:54,598
What are you wearing?
560
00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:55,658
Red wind breaker,
561
00:16:55,778 --> 00:16:58,251
- and some khakis.
- You can lie, Donald.
562
00:16:58,371 --> 00:17:00,104
Weird, but sexy.
563
00:17:00,143 --> 00:17:01,361
I wish I was there
564
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:03,292
to put my good hand on your breast.
565
00:17:03,412 --> 00:17:05,769
Okay, I am rubbing my breast...
566
00:17:05,889 --> 00:17:08,144
What are you wearing under your dress?
567
00:17:08,264 --> 00:17:11,400
Oh, just a pair of skimpy
yellow lace panties.
568
00:17:11,401 --> 00:17:13,735
Take them off.
569
00:17:13,736 --> 00:17:15,904
Oh, God, I don't want to see
this guy's finger strokes.
570
00:17:15,905 --> 00:17:18,273
Okay, I just took them off.
571
00:17:18,274 --> 00:17:19,858
Holy shit, she did it!
572
00:17:19,859 --> 00:17:20,859
What?
573
00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:23,195
I mean, this is so hot.
574
00:17:23,196 --> 00:17:24,696
It is so hot.
575
00:17:24,697 --> 00:17:26,698
What else would you
like me to do?
576
00:17:26,699 --> 00:17:28,784
Oh, no, we got to... Stop. Ow!
577
00:17:28,785 --> 00:17:31,703
Send me a hot, naked
photo of yourself.
578
00:17:31,704 --> 00:17:35,874
I'm gonna send you a hot,
naked, dirty photo of me.
579
00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:38,093
But you better send me
one in return, Rodney.
580
00:17:38,094 --> 00:17:39,094
Oh, God.
581
00:17:39,095 --> 00:17:40,095
I'm not taking that.
582
00:17:40,096 --> 00:17:42,431
Here goes.
583
00:17:44,217 --> 00:17:46,718
Okay. Now your turn.
584
00:17:48,471 --> 00:17:50,055
Well, hello.
585
00:17:50,056 --> 00:17:52,140
All right, I can do
something with that.
586
00:17:52,141 --> 00:17:54,276
Just gonna
get this guy out.
587
00:17:54,277 --> 00:17:56,278
How 'bout this bird's-eye view?
588
00:17:56,279 --> 00:17:59,815
Now take my medical compression
socks off with your teeth.
589
00:17:59,816 --> 00:18:00,816
Okay, done, done.
590
00:18:00,817 --> 00:18:01,817
This is over.
591
00:18:01,818 --> 00:18:04,653
Thanks, jackass, now I'm
going to get blue balls.
592
00:18:04,654 --> 00:18:05,654
You can't get blue balls.
593
00:18:05,655 --> 00:18:06,738
It's not possible.
594
00:18:06,739 --> 00:18:08,707
Yes, it is. Up here.
595
00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:11,660
How do you
like that, sweetie?
596
00:18:12,662 --> 00:18:15,747
Oh, balls!
597
00:18:15,748 --> 00:18:18,166
Sir, license and registration.
598
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:19,167
What's the problem, Officer?
599
00:18:19,168 --> 00:18:20,168
You were texting and driving.
600
00:18:20,169 --> 00:18:21,169
Uh, no, sir, I wasn't.
601
00:18:21,170 --> 00:18:22,170
Let me see your phone.
602
00:18:22,171 --> 00:18:23,805
No, why don't you
give me your phone?
603
00:18:23,806 --> 00:18:25,807
Step out of the car right now.
604
00:18:25,808 --> 00:18:27,559
Okay, here we are.
605
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:29,761
Sir, give me your phone.
606
00:18:29,762 --> 00:18:31,263
Here you go.
607
00:18:31,264 --> 00:18:33,649
Is this child pornography?
608
00:18:33,650 --> 00:18:35,400
No, that's a dick pic.
609
00:18:35,401 --> 00:18:37,569
You're taking pictures
of children's penises?
610
00:18:37,570 --> 00:18:39,571
No, that is my penis.
611
00:18:39,572 --> 00:18:41,440
It just appears childlike.
612
00:18:41,441 --> 00:18:44,526
There's no way that this tiny
thing is a grown man's penis.
613
00:18:44,527 --> 00:18:45,944
It is! See those balls?
614
00:18:45,945 --> 00:18:48,163
Those are a couple
meaty clackers.
615
00:18:48,164 --> 00:18:51,533
It's like when you give a dog a
summer haircut, it looks smaller.
616
00:18:51,534 --> 00:18:52,534
It's still the same dog.
617
00:18:52,535 --> 00:18:53,535
Look, I'll show you, okay?
618
00:18:53,536 --> 00:18:55,537
Sir, sir, really, I don't... Just look!
Just take a peek.
619
00:18:56,172 --> 00:18:57,172
I'm not gay.
620
00:18:57,173 --> 00:18:58,790
I'm just showing you this... No!
621
00:18:58,791 --> 00:19:00,626
God, I hate flex dilemmas.
622
00:19:00,627 --> 00:19:03,095
Pierre Garcon, Wes Welker.
623
00:19:03,096 --> 00:19:04,379
Wes Welker, Pierre Garcon.
624
00:19:04,380 --> 00:19:06,381
Sir, I don't...
Sir, put that away.
625
00:19:06,382 --> 00:19:08,016
Whoa, whoa. Is that Ruxin?
626
00:19:08,017 --> 00:19:09,468
Oh, my God.
627
00:19:09,469 --> 00:19:11,853
Oh, shi...
628
00:19:15,058 --> 00:19:17,109
Hi, Mommy, we love you.
629
00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:18,277
Welcome to your life.
630
00:19:18,278 --> 00:19:21,446
No, no, no, where is my
near-death flexperience?
631
00:19:21,447 --> 00:19:24,199
Pierre Garcon or Wes Welker?
632
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,400
We love you.
633
00:19:25,401 --> 00:19:27,619
Oh, this is bullsh...
...it!
634
00:19:29,238 --> 00:19:33,241
Oh, bullshit. Oh... You should
probably check on that.
635
00:19:33,242 --> 00:19:34,609
Get back here! Get back here!
636
00:19:34,729 --> 00:19:36,244
Come on!
637
00:19:36,431 --> 00:19:38,100
Oh, I'm so happy you're okay.
638
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:40,638
I was having such a hard time figuring
out who to set Kevin up with.
639
00:19:40,639 --> 00:19:42,182
Dr. Nowzick.
640
00:19:42,302 --> 00:19:46,600
Uh... On behalf of the hospital, I'd
like to talk to you about Donald.
641
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,722
Look, I totally understand if you want
to kick me out of Caring Comrades.
642
00:19:49,723 --> 00:19:53,859
- It was just... - What? No, I want to
thank you for your generous donation.
643
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,311
Thank you.
644
00:19:55,312 --> 00:19:56,896
Here they are.
645
00:19:56,897 --> 00:20:00,149
Oh, boy, look at all these
happy faces in here, huh?
646
00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:01,150
Because of you.
647
00:20:01,151 --> 00:20:02,151
Y-Yeah.
648
00:20:02,152 --> 00:20:05,621
Because of your generosity,
they're having a lot of fun...
649
00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,573
Oh, look, they're drawing
hair on their dinosaurs.
650
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:08,574
Uh, my generosity?
651
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:11,577
Mm-hmm. I donated all my clippings
to Caring Comrades in your honor.
652
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:12,578
These are pubic hair wigs?
653
00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:13,579
Yeah.
654
00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:15,581
You can't make pubic hair wigs.
655
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:16,582
Hair's hair.
656
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,584
How many clients did you have?
657
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:19,668
That's mostly Ruxin.
658
00:20:19,669 --> 00:20:20,753
His bush was huge.
659
00:20:20,754 --> 00:20:21,754
Oh, my God.
660
00:20:21,755 --> 00:20:24,757
Because of your generosity, we
were able to wig the entire
661
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:26,892
pediatric cancer ward.
662
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:29,595
And we had some left
over for Donald.
663
00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:35,017
Look, uh, Donald, I-I can...
I know what it is.
664
00:20:35,018 --> 00:20:36,402
And I like it.
665
00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:39,405
Looking good, Robot Ruxin.
666
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:40,319
Looking good.
667
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:51,336
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
668
00:20:51,386 --> 00:20:55,936
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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