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♪ ♪
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(wailing)
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Life's not fair.
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It's not fair!
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Hank, are you crying?
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I'm not crying. You're crying!
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Margaret, what's wrong?
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My friend Donna died, okay?
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- MARGARET: Oh. Aw.
- Oh, that's too bad.
10
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Worst part is my ex-wife's going
to that funeral, too.
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I haven't seen that she-devil
since our divorce.
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I can't even stand to hear her name.
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You mean Lorraine?
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Damn it, Sid!
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I assume she's gonna be there
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with her great big fiancé, Reggie.
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All right, that's it. I'm not gonna go.
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That's a good idea.
Seeing Lorraine and her new man
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is the last thing you need.
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No, you absolutely have to go, Hank.
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Good point. You've got to go.
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The first time you see your ex
after you split
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is the Super Bowl
for winning the divorce.
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Take it from me.
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- Why? You won your divorce?
- (groans)
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No, I lost. Miserably.
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He was dropping our daughter off
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just as I was coming out
to get the paper,
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in my robe, fresh out of the shower.
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Bent over to pick up the paper.
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The wind blew my robe up. (sighs)
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He's been calling me
Newspaper Butt ever since.
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Damn, girl. That's rough.
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- Tears.
- Yeah.
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You think that's bad...
there was a busload
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of third graders across the street.
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Now I'm a registered sex offender.
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Anyway, you absolutely have
to do this, Hank.
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- You got to win this.
- How?
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Lorraine is engaged
to a former NFL player.
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I'm a former meter man.
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I will go with you.
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I will be your hype man.
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It's all about convincing Lorraine
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that you are happier without her.
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My job is to show her
how amazing your new life is.
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- Well, how you gonna do that?
- I'm gonna lie.
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I'm gonna lie my Newspaper Butt off.
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Ooh, can Charlie and me come?
We love funerals.
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- We never miss one.
- (Margaret laughs)
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You're acting like funerals are parties.
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Uh, yeah!
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Yeah, think about it. Teens have proms,
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young adults have weddings,
and we have funerals.
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It's the ultimate after-party.
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I get to wear my fanciest suit,
there's an open bar,
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and sometimes people hook up
right there in the funeral hall.
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Oh, come on.
Nobody gets freaky at funerals.
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Yes, they do! You've heard
of the mile-high club?
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There's also a six-feet-under club.
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CHARLIE: Yep.
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Get your computer and Bing it.
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All right. We're trying
to make Hank look cool here.
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You guys are not invited to the funeral.
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Got it.
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See you at the reception.
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♪ ♪
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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All right. Let's go over this again.
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You made some wise investments
71
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that allow you to travel the world.
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You have multiple friends with boats.
73
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And you hung out with Don Johnson once
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at a Phoenix Suns game.
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Yeah, and he bought me a hot dog,
76
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'cause he doesn't let fame go
to his head.
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That's why we're friends.
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'Sup, y'all?
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What's the haps and where's the apps?
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- We're here to put the "fun" in "funeral"!
- Yeah.
81
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What the hell are you guys doing here?
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We told you... we're funeral crashing.
83
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Just like they did in
that hit movie starring, um...
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Oh, what are their names again?
The, um... the, um...
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the-the tall guy from the-the thing.
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(sighs) Oh, who cares?
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Ooh, crab cakes!
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I don't know where Donna ended up,
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but I have died and gone to heaven.
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Margaret. (panting)
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He... she... them. (panting)
92
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That's them?
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That's Reggie?
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Damn.
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Damn.
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- Margaret.
- Well, I'm sorry, but just...
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damn.
98
00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:06,466
All right, uh,
if this lie is gonna work,
99
00:04:06,491 --> 00:04:08,536
then you got to try to act cool, okay?
100
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Pull it together.
You're drooling a little bit.
101
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Actually, so am I.
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This woman does something to me.
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She-she discombobulates my-my-my-my...
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my-my-my-my...
105
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my-my head wires.
106
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Can you believe she threw
a perfectly good marriage,
107
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40 years, down the toilet
for this dumb jock?
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With all of that,
he doesn't need to be smart.
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00:04:28,841 --> 00:04:31,964
All right, just c-calm down
and speak slowly.
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Everything's gonna be fine.
111
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Yeah, I mean, I got this. I'm Hank.
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- Yeah.
- I'm Hank.
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I'm Hank!
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I know who the hell you are, Hank.
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I was married to your old ass, remember?
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Hi, Lorraine. I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm handsome.
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Don Johnson has hot dog
and-and-and boats.
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(chuckles)
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Killin' it.
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Well, hello, everyone.
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- I'm Margaret.
- Oh.
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00:05:09,308 --> 00:05:11,577
- (chuckles)
- Well, you're Hank's girlfriend?
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Oh, well, let me just give you
a quick tip, baby girl.
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Run!
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Run for your life!
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Girlfriend? No, no, no, no, no.
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I'm just his friend.
I'm one of his many friends.
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He is so popular.
129
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Nice to meet you, Margaret. I'm Reggie.
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Yes, you are.
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- Hey, man. I...
- Yeah, we met.
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You remember. When I walked in
on you sleeping with my wife
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in my bedroom.
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You a...
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whole lot taller standing up.
136
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So, you good?
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Y'all good? Everything good?
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Oh, lay off him.
139
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,618
No, no, it's all right, sweetheart.
140
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Hank, I want you to know,
man to man, that I'm sorry.
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00:05:55,123 --> 00:05:56,690
I did what I did out of love.
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This woman is my soul mate.
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(chuckles) That's right, baby.
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So, Hank, you're still bald.
That's going well?
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Well, actually,
146
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Hank is living pretty large nowadays.
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He's made some really good investments.
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Yeah, I got in early
on them, uh, dinosaur bones.
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00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:16,008
Eggs, too.
150
00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:17,911
Course, that's where the big money is,
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'cause you can, uh,
hatch more dinosaurs.
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(Margaret laughs)
153
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What a great joke. (chuckles)
154
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Actually, he invested primarily
in cryptocurrencies,
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and he sold them before they crashed.
156
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The dinosaur thing is just a joke.
157
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- Right, Hank?
- Yeah.
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Because we all know
that the, uh, dinosaur bones,
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that's not an actual investment?
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So, uh, what about you, Reggie?
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What you doing in your retirement?
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Did you have to sell
all your trophies like that,
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uh, O.J. there?
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No, no.
165
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I spend most of my time
helping the community.
166
00:06:53,749 --> 00:06:54,850
- Oh.
- Yeah.
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00:06:54,875 --> 00:06:56,250
I play football with kids
that have cancer.
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Little Tyler got
his first touchdown this week.
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(exhales)
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(grunts)
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Sorry.
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They're just
such strong warriors, you know?
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They inspire me.
174
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Well, I do all that, too.
175
00:07:12,202 --> 00:07:14,601
Course, them little kids
never scored on me.
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(clears throat) Did I hear somewhere
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that y'all two got engaged?
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I believe I heard the news.
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I was on a friend of mine's yacht
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in "Ibitha" when I heard it.
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Well, anyway, congratulations
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00:07:26,337 --> 00:07:27,895
for finally putting a ring on it.
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(chuckles) And what a ring.
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(chuckles) Okay,
shield your eyes, everybody.
185
00:07:32,514 --> 00:07:34,550
Pa-pow! (chuckles)
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00:07:34,575 --> 00:07:37,897
Ooh, I kept telling Reggie it's too big.
187
00:07:37,922 --> 00:07:40,186
(chuckles): Especially compared
to my old one.
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00:07:40,211 --> 00:07:42,006
Hank, where'd you get that from,
a vending machine?
189
00:07:42,031 --> 00:07:43,943
A cereal box?
190
00:07:43,968 --> 00:07:46,543
Honey, let's, uh, try
to keep this classy.
191
00:07:46,929 --> 00:07:48,764
I'm having lots of sex!
192
00:07:49,546 --> 00:07:50,714
With all kind of women.
193
00:07:50,746 --> 00:07:52,383
Hot women, too.
194
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Laying that pipe.
195
00:07:54,383 --> 00:07:56,953
MARGARET: Yeah, it's true. (chuckles)
196
00:07:56,986 --> 00:07:59,856
He's broken a lot of hearts
and a lot of bed frames.
197
00:07:59,890 --> 00:08:03,159
It's not even gross to think about.
198
00:08:03,193 --> 00:08:05,463
Well, um... (stammers)
199
00:08:05,488 --> 00:08:07,864
R-Reggie just bought me a house. Uh-huh.
200
00:08:07,897 --> 00:08:10,093
We do it in there. (chuckles) Uh-huh.
201
00:08:10,118 --> 00:08:11,853
All up in the house. (chuckles)
202
00:08:11,878 --> 00:08:13,533
I'm talking about sex. House.
203
00:08:13,558 --> 00:08:14,658
- Sex!
- Lorraine.
204
00:08:14,683 --> 00:08:16,207
- (chuckles)
- Lorraine, this is not the time
205
00:08:16,239 --> 00:08:18,400
nor the place to be so petty.
206
00:08:18,425 --> 00:08:20,477
All right? L-Let's go pay our respects.
207
00:08:20,510 --> 00:08:22,180
Excuse us.
208
00:08:26,042 --> 00:08:27,793
- You see how rattled she was?
- (chuckles)
209
00:08:27,818 --> 00:08:30,087
Her left eye was twitching
all the way down.
210
00:08:30,464 --> 00:08:32,434
You are one hell of a hype man.
211
00:08:32,459 --> 00:08:33,762
- Thank you, Margaret!
- Mm-hmm.
212
00:08:33,795 --> 00:08:36,829
- Yep. You so won that.
- (laughing)
213
00:08:36,854 --> 00:08:39,529
By the way, Reggie seems super nice.
214
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:40,997
What a great guy.
215
00:08:41,023 --> 00:08:44,141
What a great big beautiful guy.
216
00:08:44,166 --> 00:08:45,148
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
217
00:08:45,173 --> 00:08:48,548
But what a great day to be alive!
218
00:08:48,573 --> 00:08:50,187
I'm so sorry for your loss.
219
00:08:50,212 --> 00:08:52,542
Very special lady.
220
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:55,778
(both laughing)
221
00:08:55,811 --> 00:08:58,171
(laughs): Oh, Charlie.
222
00:08:58,196 --> 00:09:00,783
This might be the best funeral
we ever crashed.
223
00:09:00,816 --> 00:09:03,101
- Yeah.
- I know it would be tacky,
224
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,460
but do you think we should take
225
00:09:04,485 --> 00:09:06,889
some of these lobster tails to go?
226
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,124
Are you kidding?
227
00:09:08,157 --> 00:09:09,526
I have so much shrimp in my pockets,
228
00:09:09,551 --> 00:09:12,401
I smell like a chum bucket at SeaWorld.
229
00:09:13,889 --> 00:09:15,751
Is that you, Bull's-eye?
230
00:09:15,776 --> 00:09:17,368
I knew it. (chuckles)
231
00:09:17,401 --> 00:09:20,505
You old son of a bitch! (chuckles)
232
00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:24,941
I can't believe you came!
233
00:09:25,653 --> 00:09:28,421
Well, of course I came!
(chuckles nervously)
234
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:30,203
(mouthing): What's happening?
235
00:09:30,228 --> 00:09:31,344
(chuckles)
236
00:09:31,369 --> 00:09:33,507
I'll be damned. I haven't seen you
237
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,263
since we left our post in 'Nam.
238
00:09:35,288 --> 00:09:38,162
The best gunner
in the United States Air Force
239
00:09:38,187 --> 00:09:39,623
came all this way?
240
00:09:39,648 --> 00:09:41,756
(chuckles) I'm honored.
241
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:42,865
Pow, pow, pow.
242
00:09:44,123 --> 00:09:46,329
- And you must be Wilkins.
- What?
243
00:09:46,363 --> 00:09:48,834
The two of you always were
inseparable. (chuckles)
244
00:09:48,859 --> 00:09:51,301
We-we-we were?
245
00:09:51,335 --> 00:09:53,417
You know, there... I think
there's a tiny mix-up that...
246
00:09:53,442 --> 00:09:55,071
I can't tell you how...
247
00:09:55,104 --> 00:09:58,753
how much it means to me you've
come to my wife's funeral.
248
00:09:59,698 --> 00:10:02,111
But I guess that's what you do
for your colonel.
249
00:10:02,972 --> 00:10:06,082
It's just so good to see your faces.
250
00:10:06,115 --> 00:10:07,651
(stammering)
251
00:10:07,676 --> 00:10:10,596
Wilkins and I wouldn't
have missed it for the world!
252
00:10:10,621 --> 00:10:12,891
And I'm Bull's-eye!
253
00:10:13,456 --> 00:10:15,866
The other guys in our squadron
254
00:10:15,891 --> 00:10:19,141
are gonna crap twice and die
when they see you.
255
00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:21,602
- Come on.
- I'm crapping already.
256
00:10:23,234 --> 00:10:24,529
Thanks for your help.
257
00:10:24,554 --> 00:10:27,370
But you should've let me go on
about the dinosaur bones.
258
00:10:27,411 --> 00:10:29,947
Lorraine loves
those Jurassic Park movies.
259
00:10:29,973 --> 00:10:32,934
Sometimes she likes me
to dress up as a dinosaur,
260
00:10:32,959 --> 00:10:34,878
you know, for the lovemaking. (chuckles)
261
00:10:34,911 --> 00:10:36,637
Tyrannosaurus Sex!
262
00:10:36,662 --> 00:10:38,047
That's what she called it.
263
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:39,515
I guess...
264
00:10:39,548 --> 00:10:41,050
that's a story for another time.
265
00:10:41,084 --> 00:10:44,044
Yeah. I think that might be
a story for a never time.
266
00:10:44,619 --> 00:10:46,089
Oh! They're arguing.
267
00:10:46,552 --> 00:10:49,521
She just tilted her head.
That means she is pissed.
268
00:10:49,593 --> 00:10:51,795
And if she flips her hair, look out.
269
00:10:51,827 --> 00:10:54,218
Come on, girl, flip your hair.
Flip your hair, baby.
270
00:10:54,243 --> 00:10:57,045
- She flipped her hair.
- What does that mean?
271
00:10:57,070 --> 00:11:00,303
That means they're in a big ol'
fight and I won my divorce.
272
00:11:00,328 --> 00:11:02,900
And Reggie's leaving. (laughs)
273
00:11:02,925 --> 00:11:05,986
Well, we may just have ruined
her whole life.
274
00:11:06,011 --> 00:11:08,811
- Awesome.
- Yeah, now she's alone.
275
00:11:08,844 --> 00:11:11,124
All alone.
276
00:11:11,149 --> 00:11:12,954
Sexy and alone.
277
00:11:12,979 --> 00:11:14,165
Wait, what?
278
00:11:14,190 --> 00:11:15,418
I'm gonna go get my wife back.
279
00:11:15,459 --> 00:11:16,727
You said you hate her.
280
00:11:16,767 --> 00:11:18,195
Yeah. That's when she wasn't available.
281
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:19,303
Wish me luck.
282
00:11:19,336 --> 00:11:21,172
Tyrannosaurus Sex is heading in.
283
00:11:21,205 --> 00:11:23,475
(roaring)
284
00:11:30,047 --> 00:11:31,849
♪ ♪
285
00:11:31,882 --> 00:11:34,986
Hey, boys, look who I found.
286
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:37,467
Bull's-eye and Wilkins.
287
00:11:37,787 --> 00:11:40,124
You guys have a lot to catch up on.
288
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:42,082
Yeah, we certainly do.
289
00:11:42,107 --> 00:11:44,377
- Uh...
- Yeah.
290
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:46,998
Yep.
291
00:11:47,031 --> 00:11:48,636
You guys start.
292
00:11:48,865 --> 00:11:50,835
May I have your attention?
293
00:11:50,868 --> 00:11:56,207
Uh, look, I just want to thank
you all for coming here today.
294
00:11:56,432 --> 00:11:59,940
To honor Donna's memory,
my squadron and I
295
00:11:59,965 --> 00:12:04,037
are gonna sing our old
Air Force fight song.
296
00:12:04,467 --> 00:12:07,545
- You ready, boys?
- Um...
297
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:10,053
(humming)
298
00:12:10,078 --> 00:12:11,725
- ♪ Off we go ♪
- ♪ We go ♪
299
00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:14,325
- ♪ Into the wild blue yonder ♪
- ♪ Going up there ♪
300
00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:16,012
♪ Climbing high ♪
301
00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:18,129
- ♪ Into the sun ♪
- ♪ Into the sky ♪
302
00:12:18,162 --> 00:12:20,197
- ♪ Here they come ♪
- ♪ Off we have ♪
303
00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:22,925
- ♪ Zooming to meet our thunder ♪
- ♪ We are four men ♪
304
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:25,402
♪ At 'em, boys, give 'er the gun ♪
305
00:12:25,428 --> 00:12:27,130
- ♪ And keeping it dry ♪
- ♪ Pa-pa-pa-pow ♪
306
00:12:27,171 --> 00:12:28,743
♪ Down we dive ♪
307
00:12:28,813 --> 00:12:31,946
- ♪ Spouting our flames from under ♪
- CHARLIE: ♪ Spilling the vapors near you ♪
308
00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:34,876
Oh, hey, Lorraine.
309
00:12:35,111 --> 00:12:36,913
You're sitting all alone.
310
00:12:37,595 --> 00:12:39,149
Baby, you all right?
311
00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:41,126
Shut up, Hank. I'm fine.
312
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:43,553
Well, I saw you flip your hair, girl.
313
00:12:43,586 --> 00:12:45,021
(whoops)
314
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:47,725
I see that you and Reggie were fighting.
315
00:12:47,758 --> 00:12:49,927
Yeah, whatever.
316
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,162
We're going through a rough patch.
317
00:12:52,955 --> 00:12:56,483
Thinking about you in Ibiza
with all your yacht hos...
318
00:12:58,635 --> 00:13:00,348
- Made me feel a little...
- Jealous?
319
00:13:00,381 --> 00:13:01,577
- Yes.
- Envious?
320
00:13:01,625 --> 00:13:04,928
Well, it means the same thing, so yeah.
321
00:13:04,953 --> 00:13:06,889
Congratulations.
322
00:13:06,914 --> 00:13:09,083
Your life is better than mine.
323
00:13:09,108 --> 00:13:10,657
Well, uh... (clears throat)
324
00:13:10,682 --> 00:13:12,969
Here's the deal... it's not.
325
00:13:13,374 --> 00:13:14,976
Look, uh, me and Margaret
326
00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:17,229
kind of stretched
the truth there a little bit.
327
00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:20,957
(clears throat) I've never been
to "Ibitha," and I'm not rich.
328
00:13:20,990 --> 00:13:23,927
I just told you all that
to make you jealous and envious.
329
00:13:23,968 --> 00:13:26,447
Oh, that's messed up.
330
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,502
(chuckles) But to tell you the truth,
331
00:13:28,510 --> 00:13:31,280
it's kind of refreshing.
332
00:13:31,313 --> 00:13:33,615
I mean, Reggie, he's just too nice.
333
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,983
Even when we argue, he's never mad.
334
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,886
Well, that's too bad.
It sounds like there's no fire.
335
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,054
Now, me and you?
336
00:13:40,088 --> 00:13:42,824
- We had fire.
- Ugh.
337
00:13:42,857 --> 00:13:44,892
We were a fire hazard.
338
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,615
Mmm.
339
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,343
The best part about fighting
was the making up afterwards.
340
00:13:49,422 --> 00:13:51,959
(chuckles) Shut up, Hank.
341
00:13:51,984 --> 00:13:53,419
(both laugh)
342
00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,493
♪ Flying men ♪
343
00:13:59,526 --> 00:14:02,045
♪ Guarding our nation's border ♪
344
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:05,965
♪ We'll be there, followed by more ♪
345
00:14:05,998 --> 00:14:08,469
♪ In echelon ♪
346
00:14:08,494 --> 00:14:10,494
♪ We carry on ♪
347
00:14:10,512 --> 00:14:14,983
♪ Shout! Nothing can stop
the U.S. Air Force ♪
348
00:14:15,016 --> 00:14:19,189
♪ Air Force ♪
349
00:14:19,214 --> 00:14:22,971
(applause)
350
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:25,660
- Oh, wow.
- Ah. Oh.
351
00:14:25,685 --> 00:14:28,064
- That was fun.
- Yeah.
352
00:14:28,097 --> 00:14:30,090
What the hell, you guys?
353
00:14:30,115 --> 00:14:32,168
Why are you singing with the Air Force?
354
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,606
Well, isn't it obvious, Margaret?
355
00:14:34,631 --> 00:14:37,668
We have to pretend that we're
Bull's-eye and Wilkins
356
00:14:37,693 --> 00:14:40,115
so the colonel doesn't get upset.
357
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:42,311
(laughs) Yeah. Catch up, Margaret.
358
00:14:42,344 --> 00:14:44,461
And where's Hank?
He missed our big number.
359
00:14:44,486 --> 00:14:46,815
Oh, he ran off with Lorraine
a while ago.
360
00:14:46,848 --> 00:14:48,984
I think he's trying to have dinosaur sex
361
00:14:49,017 --> 00:14:51,019
- with her or something.
- Oh, no.
362
00:14:51,053 --> 00:14:53,386
He didn't do the arms, did he?
363
00:14:54,221 --> 00:14:55,728
How did you let this happen?
364
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:57,334
He was almost over her.
365
00:14:57,359 --> 00:14:59,528
Lorraine is poison for him.
366
00:14:59,561 --> 00:15:01,663
Yeah, Margaret.
We ought to put you in the brig.
367
00:15:01,696 --> 00:15:04,106
That's Air Force for jail.
368
00:15:04,566 --> 00:15:06,706
How is this my fault?
369
00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:08,239
Hank is a mature man.
370
00:15:08,264 --> 00:15:10,240
He can think for hims-s...
371
00:15:10,272 --> 00:15:12,274
Oh, this is all my fault.
372
00:15:12,308 --> 00:15:13,910
We got to go stop them.
373
00:15:13,943 --> 00:15:16,571
- Let's bring our boy back home.
- Yeah.
374
00:15:16,596 --> 00:15:18,384
♪ Off we go ♪
375
00:15:18,409 --> 00:15:20,717
- ♪ Into the wild blue yonder ♪
- ♪ Pa-pow! ♪
376
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,452
♪ Pa-pa-pa-pow ♪
377
00:15:24,319 --> 00:15:26,448
Maybe they're in here?
378
00:15:27,103 --> 00:15:29,439
Oh, no.
379
00:15:29,464 --> 00:15:31,127
Definitely not in here.
380
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,731
(chuckles) A dark room
filled with velvet-lined beds?
381
00:15:34,763 --> 00:15:36,465
Oh, yeah, they're in here.
382
00:15:36,498 --> 00:15:39,614
Nobody has sex in a coffin.
383
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:42,138
Um, coffin salesmen?
384
00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:44,439
Count Dracula?
385
00:15:44,473 --> 00:15:46,992
That's two just off the top of my head.
386
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,950
(thudding)
387
00:15:49,975 --> 00:15:52,649
Ooh. Oh, boy.
388
00:15:52,681 --> 00:15:55,250
We're about to see Hank naked.
389
00:15:55,291 --> 00:15:56,967
All right, well, if you have
have a weak stomach,
390
00:15:56,992 --> 00:15:58,320
you might want to turn away.
391
00:15:58,353 --> 00:15:59,988
I will be turning away.
392
00:16:00,021 --> 00:16:01,290
Go for it, Charlie.
393
00:16:01,324 --> 00:16:03,312
I'm on it.
394
00:16:04,835 --> 00:16:06,437
(clears throat)
395
00:16:06,462 --> 00:16:08,117
- Hi, Hank.
- Ooh.
396
00:16:10,199 --> 00:16:12,001
What the hell?
397
00:16:12,034 --> 00:16:16,373
You guys have weddings
and proms. This is our thing.
398
00:16:17,872 --> 00:16:20,134
I'm okay with letting them have
this one.
399
00:16:22,777 --> 00:16:24,079
Hey, when you guys are done,
400
00:16:24,112 --> 00:16:26,483
there's sandwiches in the other room.
401
00:16:28,693 --> 00:16:30,361
Ooh, ooh.
402
00:16:30,404 --> 00:16:32,735
We're about to do this, huh?
At the funeral?
403
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,490
You damn straight.
404
00:16:34,522 --> 00:16:36,758
(roaring)
405
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,203
Ooh, I can't believe I'm actually going
406
00:16:39,228 --> 00:16:40,930
to join the six-feet-under club.
407
00:16:40,955 --> 00:16:43,626
- That's a real thing?
- Oh, yeah.
408
00:16:43,658 --> 00:16:46,085
I'm just taking this
as your official apology
409
00:16:46,110 --> 00:16:48,163
for cheating on me and throwing 40 years
410
00:16:48,188 --> 00:16:49,703
of marriage down the drain.
411
00:16:49,728 --> 00:16:52,031
It's okay, I forgive you, baby.
412
00:16:52,064 --> 00:16:54,700
Ow! What the hell?
413
00:16:54,899 --> 00:16:56,660
Me apologize to you?
414
00:16:56,685 --> 00:16:58,137
The divorce was your fault.
415
00:16:58,169 --> 00:17:00,172
My fault? You cheated on me.
416
00:17:00,205 --> 00:17:01,746
Because you were a terrible husband.
417
00:17:01,778 --> 00:17:03,183
You always forgot our anniversary.
418
00:17:03,208 --> 00:17:05,277
That's 'cause it was so close
to Christmas.
419
00:17:05,310 --> 00:17:07,080
It was in April, Hank.
420
00:17:08,035 --> 00:17:10,148
You never did a damn thing.
421
00:17:10,182 --> 00:17:11,984
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever!
422
00:17:12,025 --> 00:17:14,196
- You never did the laundry.
- You were better at it.
423
00:17:14,221 --> 00:17:16,056
- You never cooked.
- You were better at it.
424
00:17:16,081 --> 00:17:19,718
- You never listened to me.
- You were better at it!
425
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,407
Now, are we sexy fighting,
or are we real fighting?
426
00:17:22,432 --> 00:17:24,044
Okay, so we're real fighting now.
427
00:17:24,364 --> 00:17:28,028
I can't believe I almost made
this-this huge mistake.
428
00:17:28,053 --> 00:17:30,404
You know what, Hank?
429
00:17:30,436 --> 00:17:33,107
You're not a Tyrannosaurus Sex.
430
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,707
You're a selfish pig.
431
00:17:34,741 --> 00:17:38,045
Oink. Oink. Piggy. (laughs)
432
00:17:38,375 --> 00:17:40,310
Piggy!
433
00:17:47,286 --> 00:17:49,236
(sighs) There you are.
434
00:17:49,261 --> 00:17:51,792
Please tell us you didn't sleep
with Lorraine.
435
00:17:51,824 --> 00:17:54,427
And if you did,
please tell us how it was.
436
00:17:54,469 --> 00:17:56,905
No, I did not.
437
00:17:56,929 --> 00:17:59,166
You're not gonna believe
what this crazy lady said.
438
00:17:59,198 --> 00:18:00,500
Now, y'all ready to laugh?
439
00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:03,003
Yeah, we're at a funeral, aren't we?
440
00:18:03,035 --> 00:18:04,470
Well, get this.
441
00:18:04,503 --> 00:18:06,327
She said the divorce was all my fault
442
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,142
because I was a lousy husband,
443
00:18:08,175 --> 00:18:10,311
I was selfish and never listened to her.
444
00:18:10,343 --> 00:18:12,513
Well, is all of that true?
445
00:18:12,545 --> 00:18:14,247
Well, I don't know. She cheated on me.
446
00:18:14,647 --> 00:18:17,876
Did you ever stop to think why
she cheated on you?
447
00:18:19,564 --> 00:18:23,048
I-I bet it's 'cause of all
that stuff he just said.
448
00:18:26,292 --> 00:18:28,452
What? Am I sucking too loud?
449
00:18:34,081 --> 00:18:35,350
Hey.
450
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:36,843
Leave me alone.
451
00:18:36,969 --> 00:18:39,005
- Listen, I want to...
- Oh, now you want me to listen?
452
00:18:39,039 --> 00:18:41,375
I listened for 40 years;
I'm done listening.
453
00:18:41,407 --> 00:18:44,645
I only ever looked at our
divorce from my point of view.
454
00:18:44,677 --> 00:18:46,446
I'm listening.
455
00:18:46,487 --> 00:18:49,623
Well, it was easy for me
to blame you for the divorce
456
00:18:49,648 --> 00:18:51,217
'cause you cheated on me,
457
00:18:51,251 --> 00:18:54,687
but I realize now our marriage
was broken long before that.
458
00:18:54,721 --> 00:18:56,323
Well, thank you.
459
00:18:56,356 --> 00:18:57,891
Thank you for saying that.
460
00:18:57,924 --> 00:18:59,217
Th-That means a lot.
461
00:18:59,242 --> 00:19:01,227
Well, I'll take my 50% of the blame.
462
00:19:01,261 --> 00:19:02,628
I took you for granted.
463
00:19:02,669 --> 00:19:05,983
Yes, you did, but I still
shouldn't have cheated on you.
464
00:19:06,008 --> 00:19:08,401
Well, that's your 50%.
465
00:19:08,435 --> 00:19:11,504
And Reggie's a good guy.
466
00:19:11,545 --> 00:19:13,547
I see how he's taking care of you,
467
00:19:13,572 --> 00:19:17,311
and, well, maybe that's more
important than having fire.
468
00:19:17,343 --> 00:19:18,978
Lorraine, I've been looking
all over for you.
469
00:19:19,003 --> 00:19:20,472
- Oh.
- I'm sorry.
470
00:19:20,513 --> 00:19:22,434
- Mm.
- Yeah.
471
00:19:22,459 --> 00:19:25,485
I should actually get those back
to the altar.
472
00:19:25,519 --> 00:19:26,974
I felt weird taking them,
473
00:19:27,037 --> 00:19:29,908
but I didn't want to show up
without a gift for you.
474
00:19:31,342 --> 00:19:32,918
I should have never left you alone
475
00:19:32,943 --> 00:19:34,178
at your friend's funeral, baby.
476
00:19:34,212 --> 00:19:37,731
That was wrong of me,
and I take full responsibility.
477
00:19:37,756 --> 00:19:40,351
- You forgive me?
- (chuckles) See?
478
00:19:40,385 --> 00:19:42,166
That's how you do it.
479
00:19:42,735 --> 00:19:44,737
I forgive you, baby.
480
00:19:44,762 --> 00:19:45,890
(coughing): Wuss.
481
00:19:45,924 --> 00:19:48,060
- Did you just call me a wuss?
- No, no.
482
00:19:48,092 --> 00:19:49,767
I was calling myself
a wuss. Look at you.
483
00:19:49,823 --> 00:19:52,262
You're tall and-and-and strong. Bye.
484
00:19:57,726 --> 00:20:00,272
So I called him a "wuss"
right to his face.
485
00:20:00,304 --> 00:20:03,007
I was gonna knock him out,
but then he got on his knees
486
00:20:03,041 --> 00:20:05,677
and begged forgiveness,
so I let it slide.
487
00:20:05,716 --> 00:20:07,357
I wish you guys could have seen it,
488
00:20:07,382 --> 00:20:09,684
- 'cause it definitely happened.
- Yeah.
489
00:20:12,383 --> 00:20:13,818
Sid.
490
00:20:16,223 --> 00:20:17,923
At ease, gentlemen.
491
00:20:17,956 --> 00:20:21,059
I know you're not
Bull's-eye and Wilkins.
492
00:20:21,091 --> 00:20:23,595
You do? How?
493
00:20:24,734 --> 00:20:27,227
'Cause they're not real people.
I made them up.
494
00:20:28,832 --> 00:20:30,936
I knew you were crashers
the minute I saw you,
495
00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:32,917
like, uh, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson.
496
00:20:32,942 --> 00:20:34,706
That's it.
497
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:40,112
So the boys and I had some fun
with you. (laughs)
498
00:20:40,145 --> 00:20:43,482
Seeing you try to sing our song
was hilarious.
499
00:20:43,514 --> 00:20:45,949
Hilarious 'cause we were so good?
500
00:20:45,974 --> 00:20:47,748
♪ So good ♪
501
00:20:47,787 --> 00:20:49,952
(high-pitched): ♪ Good ♪
502
00:20:51,013 --> 00:20:52,483
Uh, no.
503
00:20:54,766 --> 00:20:56,436
But listen,
504
00:20:56,461 --> 00:20:59,203
it was nice having a laugh
on such a tough day.
505
00:20:59,228 --> 00:21:02,131
So, uh, thanks, boys.
506
00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:05,793
Madam, are you ready for our date?
507
00:21:05,825 --> 00:21:08,590
Sir, yes, sir.
508
00:21:08,897 --> 00:21:10,840
I'll, uh, see you out there.
509
00:21:11,473 --> 00:21:14,207
What? I like a man in uniform.
510
00:21:14,232 --> 00:21:19,051
Oh, come on.
His wife is dead. Leave me alone.
511
00:21:19,082 --> 00:21:20,742
♪ Off I go ♪
512
00:21:20,776 --> 00:21:23,913
♪ Into the wild blue yonder ♪
513
00:21:23,938 --> 00:21:27,892
♪ Flying high into the sun,
pa-pa-pa-pow ♪
514
00:21:27,917 --> 00:21:32,917
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
36913
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