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1
00:00:03,364 --> 00:00:05,330
Ooh, it's freezing
out here.
2
00:00:05,399 --> 00:00:07,666
Would you like me to...
heat things up?
3
00:00:07,735 --> 00:00:10,903
No, I want to get in the hot tub
before I lose a toe.
4
00:00:11,839 --> 00:00:14,139
Oh. That is bright!
5
00:00:14,208 --> 00:00:16,608
Yeah, a new neighbor
put in floodlights.
6
00:00:16,677 --> 00:00:18,077
Huh.
7
00:00:18,145 --> 00:00:19,678
So, shall we?
8
00:00:19,747 --> 00:00:21,580
No. I don't want
9
00:00:21,649 --> 00:00:23,982
to take my robe off
under a spotlight.
10
00:00:24,051 --> 00:00:26,485
This is a candle body.
11
00:00:26,554 --> 00:00:27,820
Howdy, neighbors!
12
00:00:27,888 --> 00:00:30,122
We haven't met
yet. I'm Andy.
13
00:00:30,191 --> 00:00:32,157
Oh. Hello.
Nice to meet you.
14
00:00:32,226 --> 00:00:36,228
You know, your new balcony kind
of looks right over our fence.
15
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:39,531
You might want to put up some
trees. We can see everything.
16
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:43,535
You can, but it's okay
if you don't.
17
00:00:45,206 --> 00:00:47,372
So, can you turn
your lights off?
18
00:00:47,441 --> 00:00:48,807
Sorry, they're
motion-sensored.
19
00:00:48,876 --> 00:00:51,810
They'll go off in a minute.
Just try to stay still.
20
00:00:53,214 --> 00:00:55,581
What are we gonna
do about this?
21
00:00:55,649 --> 00:00:57,883
I say we wait until
his lights go off,
22
00:00:57,952 --> 00:01:01,987
and then I make hot,
motionless love to you.
23
00:01:04,658 --> 00:01:07,062
Don't move.
It's go time.
24
00:01:07,097 --> 00:01:10,597
♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x14 ♪
The Meteorite Manifestation
Origina
25
00:01:10,598 --> 00:01:14,032
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
26
00:01:14,101 --> 00:01:17,503
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
27
00:01:17,571 --> 00:01:19,104
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
28
00:01:19,173 --> 00:01:21,940
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
29
00:01:22,009 --> 00:01:23,820
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
30
00:01:23,844 --> 00:01:26,678
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
31
00:01:26,747 --> 00:01:28,881
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
32
00:01:28,949 --> 00:01:30,349
♪ Bang! ♪
33
00:01:30,350 --> 00:01:32,350
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
34
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:40,599
And his new balcony looks
right down on our hot tub,
35
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,968
which meant we
couldn't do anything.
36
00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:46,872
So you gave your kids
Benadryl for nothing?
37
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:52,077
Why do I share with you?
You're such a yenta.
38
00:01:52,146 --> 00:01:53,445
Are we done talking about
39
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:55,180
Howard's failed
conjugal relations?
40
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,516
I have an actual
Nobel Prize crisis to deal with.
41
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,730
Has anything changed since the
last time you talked about it?
42
00:01:59,754 --> 00:02:00,317
No.
43
00:02:00,341 --> 00:02:01,254
Is there anything
you can do about it?
44
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:01,861
No.
45
00:02:01,885 --> 00:02:04,014
Then shut up
or go wait in the car!
46
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:05,657
Excuse me.
47
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,226
Remember you all came here
48
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,294
to check out
my cool new laser?
49
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:12,097
Oh, right. I'm gonna go
wait in the car.
50
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:15,300
The best part is that
it's europium-based, so...
51
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,847
And then Andy said
if we want privacy,
52
00:02:16,871 --> 00:02:19,371
we should plant
some trees.
53
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,374
The only way I know how to
do that is to give a dollar
54
00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:25,043
and tree shows
up in Israel.
55
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:28,113
Okay. Anyway, so because
it's europium-based...
56
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:30,449
Hey. I need some help
with a meteorite I found.
57
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,017
Ah. I'd be happy to.
58
00:02:32,086 --> 00:02:33,318
Oh, no, I meant Raj.
59
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,387
I really need an astrophysicist.
60
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:36,388
Wow.
61
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,223
This is exactly like
a dream I had.
62
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:41,860
Except in the dream,
you're Gal Gadot.
63
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:46,532
I don't really have dreams,
when I sleep or in life.
64
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:49,535
Anyway...
65
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,603
I X-rayed this meteorite,
and it looks like there's
66
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,605
some sort of organic signature
inside of it,
67
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,472
but I could really use
another opinion.
68
00:02:55,496 --> 00:02:56,617
Well, great.
Let's go check it out.
69
00:02:56,618 --> 00:02:57,843
Cool.
70
00:02:57,912 --> 00:02:59,578
I'm gonna stay here
and show Howard...
71
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,413
I want to see it!
72
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:05,417
Okay. Well, thanks for
stopping by.
73
00:03:09,190 --> 00:03:11,690
Screw them. That's cool.
74
00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:15,661
Hey, I'm not sure
we're in the right line.
75
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,863
- Is this for the city zoning office?
- Yes, it is.
76
00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:20,599
Or, as we call it here,
"the zone zone."
77
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,737
No, we don't.
78
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,372
That's Linda.
79
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:30,809
Ignore her.
She's going through the change.
80
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,011
Now, how can I help you?
81
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,424
Our neighbor built
a balcony that looks
82
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,159
right into our backyard,
and we're trying to see
83
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,694
if there's anything
we can do about it.
84
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,651
Well, you have come
to the right place.
85
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,998
You know, a lot of people handle
this type of thing online,
86
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,523
but I always say
nothing beats the human touch.
87
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:45,792
Oh, but don't worry.
88
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,626
I'm not gonna
actually touch you.
89
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:51,230
We had quite the informative
meeting on that.
90
00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:54,166
We just want a little
privacy in our backyard.
91
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:57,002
You know, for...
92
00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:01,306
Maybe we should've
done this online.
93
00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:04,009
No, no, no, no.
The zone zone is a safe zone.
94
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:07,279
Stop saying "zone zone"!
95
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,314
So, is there anything we can do?
96
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:12,217
Absolutely. Do you know if they
have permits for the balcony?
97
00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,286
Oh, no. We were hoping
you could check.
98
00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,333
I certainly can. I just
need you to fill out a form,
99
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,523
and we have them available
in Armenian, Chinese,
100
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:22,628
Cambodian, English, Farsi,
Korean, Spanish and Vietnamese.
101
00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:26,498
Well, English, obviously.
102
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,367
Well, we're not
allowed to presume.
103
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:31,336
That was a whole other meeting.
104
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,872
So we just fill out
the form and that's it?
105
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,909
Oh, no. No, you need to
fill it out, and then you need
106
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:39,344
to bring it down to
the Office of Code Compliance.
107
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,980
Now, if your neighbors don't
have a permit, you can file
108
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:44,116
an official complaint,
but if they do have a permit,
109
00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:46,463
then you have to make the case
that the balcony constitutes
110
00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:49,354
a nuisance, an encumbrance
or an encroachment,
111
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:50,756
and you have to decide which,
112
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,891
because they are three
totally separate forms.
113
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,795
This is starting to seem like
more trouble than it's worth.
114
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:58,563
I know, right?
115
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:05,337
- You okay?
- Yeah.
116
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,907
Great, 'cause you just bought
that whole row of Batmans.
117
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,609
Sorry, I...
118
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,415
And now you bought Aquaman.
Good choice.
119
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,084
If you want cold medicine,
120
00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:21,086
Stuart has the entire run
of DayQuils,
121
00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:24,423
including the rare
"DayQuilt" misprint from 1996.
122
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:28,293
What can I say?
I'm a collector.
123
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,929
Thanks, but I'm fine.
I think it's just allergies.
124
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,042
- Hi, guys. - Hey.
- Hey.
125
00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:33,298
Oh, heads up.
126
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:35,467
If that Aquaman feels wet,
it's not a gimmick.
127
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:37,102
Leonard sneezed on it.
128
00:05:38,992 --> 00:05:40,678
- You sick?
- Uh, it's just allergies.
129
00:05:40,679 --> 00:05:41,807
Oh. So, check it out.
130
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,343
This meteorite that Bert found
is really cool.
131
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:46,345
We did a spectrographic
analysis, and there's...
132
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:48,580
there's definitely something
going on inside.
133
00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:50,515
Well, y, i-if you want,
134
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,784
we could use my new laser
to cut it open.
135
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,053
Well, thanks, but Bert's
got this water-cooled,
136
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:56,588
diamond-bladed saw.
137
00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:59,658
Well, sure, but with my laser,
you'd get a thinner slice,
138
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:01,673
which would make for
a better sample.
139
00:06:01,697 --> 00:06:02,395
Whoa, whoa.
140
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:05,197
You're not gonna cut
open a meteor, are you?
141
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,134
Have you not learned anything
from comic books?
142
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:13,839
Space viruses?
Pod people?
143
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:16,308
I sell nothing
but warnings.
144
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,977
C-Calm down, Stuart.
145
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,679
You're being a little crazy.
146
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:22,414
Oh, is he?
Is he being crazy?
147
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:25,784
Or is he the only one around
here who's making any sense?
148
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:31,189
It's nice they
found each other.
149
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:34,092
Yeah. Uh, so, anyway,
you want to use my laser?
150
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:35,794
Eh, sorry.
It's kind of Bert's thing,
151
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:37,763
and he wants to do it
his way, so...
152
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,031
Okay.
153
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,999
Yeah, that's cool.
154
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,568
Just seems dumb
to not use the laser.
155
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:47,205
Not as dumb as
unleashing a plague on mankind,
156
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,541
but, hey, what do we know?
157
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,877
Literally nothing.
158
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:58,550
We spent half the day down
at the city planning office,
159
00:06:58,619 --> 00:06:59,751
and didn't solve a thing.
160
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,386
Now we have to go
back tomorrow.
161
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:04,489
The planning office?
You lucky ducks.
162
00:07:04,558 --> 00:07:06,658
Yeah, this one made
me go for ice cream
163
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,393
and talk about her day.
164
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:11,063
Spoiler alert:
it was fine.
165
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:15,600
It wasn't fine.
I got trapped in an elevator.
166
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:17,636
I may have missed a few details.
167
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:20,872
The bottom of my cone
was drippy.
168
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,285
So now we have to download
all these forms and fill them out.
169
00:07:24,286 --> 00:07:24,576
We get it.
170
00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:27,879
Your life is great.
Stop rubbing it in.
171
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,948
Yeah, quit it.
172
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:32,250
Is one of the forms
173
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,052
the 599B/C?
174
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:36,688
Because, if so, it has
a doozy of a typo.
175
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:37,989
I don't know.
176
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,938
All right, well, I don't
want to spoil anything,
177
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:43,295
but you might want to start
practicing your "siglature."
178
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,544
Sheldon, if you like this
stuff, why don't you come
179
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,267
and do it with us?
- Or instead of us?
180
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:50,869
Do you mean it?
181
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,839
No, no, wait, it's too late.
You can't take it back. Yes.
182
00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:56,486
Well, Amy,
looks like the elevator
183
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,410
might have been
the high point of your day.
184
00:07:59,413 --> 00:08:01,179
Hey, where's Raj?
185
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:02,581
Uh, he's working with Bert.
186
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:05,016
They're probably cutting
their stupid meteorite open
187
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:07,152
with their stupid
diamond saw.
188
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:09,988
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
189
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,189
I'm just a little run-down.
190
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,524
It might be a head cold.
191
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,329
Purell.
192
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:19,698
Purell.
193
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,534
Purell.
194
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,636
Purell.
195
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,673
Can I top anybody off?
196
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,912
It's just so frustrating.
197
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:36,548
I-I know my laser would be
way more efficient.
198
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,684
They're gonna lose so much
meteorite due to kerf loss.
199
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:44,523
Mm. I'm sorry your friends won't
let you play kerf with them.
200
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:47,159
Don't make it sound childish.
201
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:49,261
It's the scientific word
for dust.
202
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,163
What was wrong with "dust"?
203
00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:55,433
Are you sure you're
not just a little jealous?
204
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:58,770
No. It's just, my way is better,
but they won't even consider it.
205
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:00,683
Oh, well, it's their loss.
Look, why don't you go to bed.
206
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,889
I'll run out and get
you some medicine.
207
00:09:01,913 --> 00:09:02,542
Ah, it's okay.
208
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:05,243
Stuart gave me some when
I was at the comic book store.
209
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:08,747
Really? You're taking medicine
from Stuart?
210
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:11,716
Doesn't he need,
like, all of it?
211
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,385
Mm, he's got plenty.
212
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:16,788
His pill caddy is,
like, this big.
213
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:18,368
All right, well,
why don't you go to bed.
214
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:19,691
I'll sleep out here
on the couch.
215
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,337
No, no, no, you take the bed.
I'll stay out here.
216
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,295
Even better.
Sweet dreams, snot bag.
217
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,335
See what
I'm talking about?
218
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:31,870
Oh, yes.
219
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,972
Oh, that is
textbook encroachment.
220
00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:36,875
And I know
because I have the textbook.
221
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:39,978
First edition.
222
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,980
Watch what happens
when you move.
223
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,182
Oh!
224
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,318
Oh, boy, you weren't kidding.
225
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,721
Oh, those are 10,000
lumens if they're a lumen.
226
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,356
Well, you know
what they say:
227
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:55,026
when life give you lumens,
make lumen-Ade.
228
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,628
Was that a joke?
229
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,396
Yes.
230
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:01,700
Based on the premise that
"lumen" sounds like "lemon"?
231
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,903
Yes.
232
00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:06,371
That's hilarious.
233
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:10,075
Okay, what is the setback
on property lines
234
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,343
in this neighborhood?
235
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,844
Oh, I don't know.
236
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:15,480
It must be on the permit
from when you built your deck.
237
00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:17,015
Uh, yeah,
my dad built this.
238
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,484
We didn't do
the whole permit thing.
239
00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:22,754
Here we go.
240
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,589
Are you saying
241
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:27,292
I'm standing
on an unpermitted deck?
242
00:10:27,361 --> 00:10:30,161
It's been here for years,
Sheldon. It's fine.
243
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,663
How did the inspector
not flag this
244
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,443
when he came to check out
your bathroom renovation?
245
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:34,299
Uh...
246
00:10:37,371 --> 00:10:39,237
Are you telling me
that I have showered
247
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,939
in an uninspected bathroom?
248
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,674
You showered
in our house?
249
00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:45,143
You made me hold your children.
What did you expect me to do?
250
00:10:57,134 --> 00:11:00,102
You think
you know people.
251
00:11:00,170 --> 00:11:02,471
You do know
them, Sheldon.
252
00:11:02,539 --> 00:11:04,906
Yeah, but-but do we?
Do we really know them?
253
00:11:06,818 --> 00:11:07,876
Yes!
254
00:11:09,006 --> 00:11:10,477
They're rule breakers, Amy.
255
00:11:10,478 --> 00:11:12,244
And you know what we do
with rule breakers?
256
00:11:12,313 --> 00:11:14,113
Complain about them
to our spouse
257
00:11:14,182 --> 00:11:16,515
until she's ready to drive
into oncoming traffic?
258
00:11:16,995 --> 00:11:19,084
You can't cross
a double yellow line.
259
00:11:19,153 --> 00:11:20,986
What is this, the Purge?
260
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:23,189
So, I guess
you're not gonna help them?
261
00:11:23,257 --> 00:11:24,356
Oh, I'm gonna help them--
262
00:11:24,425 --> 00:11:27,326
help them get on the right side
of Johnny Law.
263
00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,061
Oh, you can't
turn them in.
264
00:11:29,130 --> 00:11:30,596
The city's gonna
make them rip out
265
00:11:30,665 --> 00:11:32,531
all the work they've
done and do it over.
266
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,266
It would be the end
of your friendship.
267
00:11:34,335 --> 00:11:36,268
What choice do I have?
These are the rules.
268
00:11:36,337 --> 00:11:38,337
Sheldon, I am begging you.
Please, don't do this.
269
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:42,041
You know who doesn't get permits
for their decks? Animals.
270
00:11:42,109 --> 00:11:44,643
Animals don't have decks.
271
00:11:44,712 --> 00:11:47,546
Oh, really? I have
one word for you: beavers.
272
00:11:53,454 --> 00:11:55,388
Bert?
273
00:11:55,456 --> 00:11:57,757
Raj?
274
00:11:57,825 --> 00:11:59,759
Huh.
275
00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:04,998
Can't believe
they're gonna cut that
276
00:12:05,066 --> 00:12:08,000
with this punk-ass diamond saw.
277
00:12:13,508 --> 00:12:15,441
Geez.
278
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,055
Oh, hey, look.
279
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:31,791
"Siglature."
280
00:12:34,062 --> 00:12:35,294
- Next!
- Hello.
281
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:38,998
Hi! Welcome to the zone zone.
282
00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:41,000
Oh, that's funny!
283
00:12:41,069 --> 00:12:44,437
Hey, I also have
a joke for you.
284
00:12:44,505 --> 00:12:46,505
Lumen-Ade.
285
00:12:48,209 --> 00:12:50,242
Maybe I told it wrong.
286
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,844
Well, how can I help you?
287
00:12:51,913 --> 00:12:54,347
If I know someone in violation
of the building code,
288
00:12:54,415 --> 00:12:55,915
should I turn them in?
289
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,316
Interesting question.
290
00:12:57,385 --> 00:12:59,385
Yeah, I know. Because,
on the one hand,
291
00:12:59,454 --> 00:13:01,854
Confucius says we owe
a greater responsibility
292
00:13:01,923 --> 00:13:05,124
to people we're close with
rather than to society at large.
293
00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:07,126
But, on the other hand,
Socrates says that
294
00:13:07,195 --> 00:13:10,329
we're obligated to obey
all laws, even unjust ones.
295
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:12,176
And then, furthermore,
if we're entertaining rules
296
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,866
about when it's okay
to break the rules,
297
00:13:13,935 --> 00:13:15,701
I should--
where does it end?
298
00:13:15,770 --> 00:13:18,971
Well, for me, it ends at 5:00.
299
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:23,442
Well, I just-- I don't
know what to do.
300
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,255
All I can tell you
is that the building codes
301
00:13:25,279 --> 00:13:26,712
are there for everyone's safety.
302
00:13:26,781 --> 00:13:29,515
Oh, so you're saying I have
no choice but to turn them in.
303
00:13:29,584 --> 00:13:32,018
I did not say that.
304
00:13:32,086 --> 00:13:33,486
But would you?
305
00:13:33,554 --> 00:13:37,189
And remember that I laughed
at your "zone zone" joke.
306
00:13:37,258 --> 00:13:39,191
It's not even a joke!
307
00:13:39,260 --> 00:13:41,193
Oh, is that Linda back there?
308
00:13:41,262 --> 00:13:42,728
- Yeah.
- Aw.
309
00:13:42,797 --> 00:13:44,797
How are her hot
flashes? Any better?
310
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,136
Leonard,
what are you doing?!
311
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:53,105
Showing you that this
is the better way.
312
00:13:53,174 --> 00:13:55,775
Stop! Whatever's
inside there is dangerous!
313
00:13:59,347 --> 00:14:01,147
Oh.
314
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:04,083
And pretty.
315
00:14:06,321 --> 00:14:07,920
What is that?
316
00:14:09,524 --> 00:14:11,958
Are you okay?
317
00:14:12,026 --> 00:14:15,628
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm just feeling a little...
318
00:14:19,334 --> 00:14:21,968
...hungry.
319
00:14:23,805 --> 00:14:26,038
Stop eating Bert!
320
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:30,676
Keep eating Bert!
321
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:34,847
Leonard.
322
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,115
Leonard!
What? What?
323
00:14:36,184 --> 00:14:37,617
You're having a bad dream.
324
00:14:37,685 --> 00:14:39,518
Oh, thank God.
325
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,053
I was eating my friends.
326
00:14:41,122 --> 00:14:43,189
Well, one friend
and one acquaintance.
327
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:46,592
You know what, Bert's okay.
Two friends.
328
00:14:46,661 --> 00:14:48,594
Let me see
if you're running a fever.
329
00:14:48,663 --> 00:14:49,595
Yeah.
330
00:14:49,664 --> 00:14:51,631
Oh, yeah,
you're burning up.
331
00:14:56,838 --> 00:14:58,270
Geez!
332
00:14:58,339 --> 00:14:59,339
Are you okay?
333
00:14:59,407 --> 00:15:00,539
That depends.
334
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,274
What-what color are my eyes?
335
00:15:02,343 --> 00:15:03,542
I don't know, brown?
336
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,178
No, green. No, wait, brown.
337
00:15:06,247 --> 00:15:09,682
Oh, good, I'm awake.
338
00:15:11,152 --> 00:15:13,319
Howie, someone's here
to see you.
339
00:15:13,388 --> 00:15:14,787
Hello.
340
00:15:14,856 --> 00:15:17,123
Hey. What's going on?
341
00:15:17,191 --> 00:15:19,492
Can you come
over here?
342
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,795
Sheldon, the deck is safe.
You can walk on it.
343
00:15:29,404 --> 00:15:31,737
Oh, that gets the heart going.
Mm.
344
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,673
So, what's up?
345
00:15:33,741 --> 00:15:35,741
I went down to the city
Code Compliance Office
346
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:36,742
to turn you in.
347
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,177
Are you kidding?
348
00:15:38,246 --> 00:15:39,178
But I didn't do it.
349
00:15:39,247 --> 00:15:41,681
I filled out the form
and then realized
350
00:15:41,749 --> 00:15:43,683
that the unwritten rules
of friendship
351
00:15:43,751 --> 00:15:46,085
are more important
than the written rules
352
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:49,021
of the city of Altadena's
Zoning and Planning Department.
353
00:15:49,090 --> 00:15:50,589
Aw.
354
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,059
Really? "Aw"?
355
00:15:53,127 --> 00:15:55,361
And you'll be happy to know
that, while I was there,
356
00:15:55,430 --> 00:15:56,907
I did look into
your neighbor's balcony,
357
00:15:56,931 --> 00:15:58,864
and it is encroaching
on your property line.
358
00:15:58,933 --> 00:16:00,800
I had all this pent-up
snitch energy,
359
00:16:00,868 --> 00:16:03,169
so I reported him hard.
360
00:16:03,237 --> 00:16:04,237
What did they say?
361
00:16:04,305 --> 00:16:05,705
He's going
to have to remove it.
362
00:16:05,773 --> 00:16:07,606
So the good guys win?
363
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:09,975
Well, I don't know
if I'd call you the good guys.
364
00:16:10,044 --> 00:16:11,343
You're enforcing a law on him
365
00:16:11,412 --> 00:16:13,179
that you're willfully ignoring
yourselves.
366
00:16:13,247 --> 00:16:14,247
Uh, all right, fine.
367
00:16:14,315 --> 00:16:16,882
So the morally
compromised guys win.
368
00:16:16,951 --> 00:16:18,217
Apparently so.
369
00:16:18,286 --> 00:16:20,297
Now, if one of you'd be
kind enough to take me home,
370
00:16:20,321 --> 00:16:21,420
I need to use my bathroom.
371
00:16:21,489 --> 00:16:22,955
What's wrong
with the one here?
372
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,024
I'm sorry, I want to live.
373
00:16:29,831 --> 00:16:32,031
Hey. You guys
got a second?
374
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:34,767
Leonard, I told you, buddy.
We don't need to use your laser.
375
00:16:34,836 --> 00:16:37,169
Yeah, all we need
is Terry Brad-saw.
376
00:16:38,473 --> 00:16:40,539
That's what I named my saw.
377
00:16:41,509 --> 00:16:43,075
No, I-I just wanted
378
00:16:43,144 --> 00:16:44,510
to apologize for yesterday.
379
00:16:44,579 --> 00:16:47,580
I just-- I think
I was jealous, you know?
380
00:16:47,648 --> 00:16:50,116
Sheldon and Amy
might win a Nobel Prize,
381
00:16:50,184 --> 00:16:52,818
and now you guys have
this cool meteorite project.
382
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:55,421
- Really? You're jealous of us?
- Yeah.
383
00:16:55,490 --> 00:17:00,025
I even had this crazy dream
last night where I ate you both.
384
00:17:01,129 --> 00:17:03,095
- Seriously?
-Uh...
385
00:17:03,164 --> 00:17:04,630
I know. I was pretty out of it.
386
00:17:04,699 --> 00:17:08,100
Who'd you eat first?
387
00:17:08,169 --> 00:17:10,436
Oh. Uh, you.
388
00:17:10,505 --> 00:17:12,805
Nice.
389
00:17:20,314 --> 00:17:23,983
This is just delightful.
390
00:17:24,051 --> 00:17:27,920
Do you think he knows we're the
ones that got him in trouble?
391
00:17:27,989 --> 00:17:29,855
- Who cares?
-I do. I met his wife.
392
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,857
She seems really nice.
393
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:34,193
Sorry about
the noise, neighbor!
394
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:35,694
No problem!
395
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:38,764
Hey, you guys know
a Sheldon Cooper?!
396
00:17:40,368 --> 00:17:42,301
No, we do not!
397
00:17:53,674 --> 00:17:56,942
Is it just me or has no one
been in the store for hours?
398
00:17:57,011 --> 00:17:58,911
Yeah, it is weirdly quiet.
399
00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:04,416
Nobody's in the street.
400
00:18:04,485 --> 00:18:06,819
Huh. Well,
that's strange.
401
00:18:06,887 --> 00:18:08,287
You thinking
what I'm thinking?
402
00:18:08,356 --> 00:18:10,889
They cut that meteorite open
and unleashed a space plague?
403
00:18:10,958 --> 00:18:12,358
Exactly.
404
00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:14,560
Let me just lock up here.
405
00:18:14,629 --> 00:18:15,961
Okay. So what do we do?
406
00:18:16,030 --> 00:18:17,730
Uh, well, if this is
a worst-case scenario
407
00:18:17,798 --> 00:18:19,965
and we're the last two
people alive, we're gonna,
408
00:18:20,034 --> 00:18:21,834
we're gonna have to
rebuild civilization.
409
00:18:21,902 --> 00:18:24,503
Do you have
any special skills?
410
00:18:24,572 --> 00:18:26,872
I can draw.
411
00:18:26,941 --> 00:18:28,374
How 'bout you?
412
00:18:28,442 --> 00:18:29,875
I can play clarinet.
413
00:18:29,944 --> 00:18:31,677
Oh, I didn't know that.
414
00:18:31,746 --> 00:18:33,812
- Yeah, ten years.
- Ah.
415
00:18:33,881 --> 00:18:38,617
You know, it, uh,
might also be up to us to
416
00:18:38,686 --> 00:18:40,419
repopulate the Earth.
417
00:18:40,488 --> 00:18:42,655
I'm okay with that.
418
00:18:42,723 --> 00:18:46,091
So... shall we?
419
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:50,095
Wait here. I'm gonna
brush my teeth.
420
00:18:57,071 --> 00:18:58,671
Sorry, we're closed!
421
00:19:00,174 --> 00:19:02,441
This is going on Yelp!
422
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:10,977
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
30904
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