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1
00:00:01,010 --> 00:00:03,110
Being single is completely underrated.
2
00:00:03,210 --> 00:00:05,710
You can use up all the
hot water for long baths,
3
00:00:05,910 --> 00:00:07,210
Not share the popcorn
4
00:00:07,410 --> 00:00:10,110
And hog the remote to
flip through 500 channels.
5
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:12,010
This is helpful if you have amnesia.
6
00:00:12,110 --> 00:00:13,510
You can fill in decades of info
7
00:00:13,610 --> 00:00:16,110
In the time it takes
your nail polish to dry.
8
00:00:16,610 --> 00:00:19,110
Did you know that hitler
had a mistress? What a jerk.
9
00:00:19,210 --> 00:00:21,010
- History channel again?
- Yeah.
10
00:00:21,110 --> 00:00:23,810
I only caught the second half, But
i think i pretty much got the gist.
11
00:00:24,410 --> 00:00:27,110
Oh,look at this. You can
send coffee to the troops.
12
00:00:27,210 --> 00:00:28,410
No. Put it down.
13
00:00:28,510 --> 00:00:30,410
Why? It's a very nice thing to do.
14
00:00:30,710 --> 00:00:32,010
Yeah,i thought it was a nice thing,too,
15
00:00:32,110 --> 00:00:34,510
So i sent a pound of
sumatra dark and a note
16
00:00:34,610 --> 00:00:37,510
And got a note back From captain
randy holt saying thank you,
17
00:00:37,610 --> 00:00:40,810
And so i,just to be polite,
e-Mailed back,"you're welcome,"
18
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:43,110
And then he e-Mailed
me back, "what's up?"
19
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,610
So now i feel like i'm cheating
on chase and i led him on,
20
00:00:45,710 --> 00:00:47,110
And i'm a coffee tease.
21
00:00:47,810 --> 00:00:49,310
"Coffee,teas."
22
00:00:49,410 --> 00:00:51,810
- See? The whole store knows!
- Oh,come on. Calm down.
23
00:00:51,910 --> 00:00:54,010
You are not cheating on chase.
24
00:00:54,110 --> 00:00:57,610
All right? He's just a lonely
soldier who wants news from home.
25
00:00:57,910 --> 00:01:00,710
You know,just keep it to,
like,small talk,you know?
26
00:01:01,110 --> 00:01:02,810
Boring stuff, like,oh,you know what?
27
00:01:02,910 --> 00:01:05,110
Why don't you tell him that
story you told me three times
28
00:01:05,210 --> 00:01:06,610
About your broken fridge...
29
00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:07,310
hey.
30
00:01:07,410 --> 00:01:09,510
Which i found thrilling,
but i think in his day,
31
00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:12,410
It would be a nice break
from all the excitement.
32
00:01:13,010 --> 00:01:14,110
Hey,andrea...
33
00:01:14,110 --> 00:01:15,410
Shh. I'm on a date.
34
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:17,110
You and tony dane are still texting?
35
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:19,310
- Come on. When are you gonna meet him?
- Bup. Bup.
36
00:01:19,710 --> 00:01:22,010
Look,i know he's a big
basketball star and everything,
37
00:01:22,110 --> 00:01:23,310
But,you know, he
should take the time--
38
00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:25,410
- Bup. Bah.
- Okay,why are you "bupping" me?
39
00:01:25,910 --> 00:01:27,210
Look,it's okay.
40
00:01:27,410 --> 00:01:29,210
You know,just 'cause
i'm not dating anyone
41
00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:31,610
Doesn't mean that you can't talk
to me about your relationship.
42
00:01:31,710 --> 00:01:33,110
That is exactly what it means.
43
00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:35,710
Every time you're not
dating someone and i am,
44
00:01:35,810 --> 00:01:37,610
You do everything you can
to try and break us up.
45
00:01:37,710 --> 00:01:39,610
Oh,come on. I will never do...
46
00:01:39,710 --> 00:01:41,510
Oh,and of course,i'm wrong.
47
00:01:41,910 --> 00:01:45,310
I'm gonna go to the little
girls'room. I'll be right back.
48
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:51,210
You guys make a great couple.
49
00:01:51,410 --> 00:01:52,110
- Mm-Hmm.
- Yeah.
50
00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:55,110
Andrea must be really happy If she's
gonna try and go off her meds again.
51
00:01:55,710 --> 00:01:56,810
Whoa.
52
00:01:57,610 --> 00:01:58,710
You work out,huh?
53
00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:00,410
Huh.
54
00:02:00,610 --> 00:02:03,610
That'll be helpful when andrea's
husband gets out of prison.
55
00:02:05,410 --> 00:02:06,810
Seriously?
56
00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:10,310
You don't recognize her
from her "film" career?
57
00:02:10,610 --> 00:02:11,610
No?
58
00:02:13,410 --> 00:02:16,610
All right,look,i know that
used to happen,but i am...
59
00:02:16,610 --> 00:02:17,410
- different now.
- different now.
60
00:02:17,510 --> 00:02:21,010
- We know.
- Fine. Whatever. I will back off.
61
00:02:21,110 --> 00:02:23,510
I just thought it would be a
nice story to tell your kids,
62
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,210
That mommy and daddy actually met once.
63
00:02:26,310 --> 00:02:27,510
Look,we're trying to meet.
64
00:02:27,610 --> 00:02:31,310
We're just very high-Powered
people with very busy schedules.
65
00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:32,210
Oh.
66
00:02:32,310 --> 00:02:34,010
Yeah,but it kinda seems like
he's the one who's always
67
00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:35,310
- Canceling on you--
- Bup. Bup. Bup.
68
00:02:35,410 --> 00:02:37,100
Bup. Bah. Bah. Bah. I know.
69
00:02:37,110 --> 00:02:39,090
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70
00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:44,090
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71
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:46,090
Samantha
Who? Season02 Episode10
72
00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:48,210
All right,turn on the tube.
The game starts in five minutes.
73
00:02:48,510 --> 00:02:49,910
What channel is it on?
74
00:02:50,610 --> 00:02:53,010
Todd? It's cameron. I
didn't hear from you.
75
00:02:53,110 --> 00:02:55,510
I just called to see if you
wanted to meet up some time.
76
00:02:57,910 --> 00:02:58,610
Cameron?
77
00:02:58,710 --> 00:03:01,010
The dancer with the legs
and the daddy issues.
78
00:03:01,110 --> 00:03:02,410
What the hell,man?
79
00:03:02,810 --> 00:03:04,410
It's not my call. I don't know.
80
00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:07,910
Man,i'd be all over that.
And that girl at the deli?
81
00:03:08,110 --> 00:03:09,710
"Take a number. Here's mine."
82
00:03:09,910 --> 00:03:12,910
They're dropping from trees out there.
What are you hanging around here for?
83
00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:15,310
- Hey,guys.
- Hey.
84
00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:16,610
Hey.
85
00:03:20,010 --> 00:03:21,010
Shut up.
86
00:03:21,210 --> 00:03:24,410
Todd,come on. What are you doing,man?
87
00:03:25,110 --> 00:03:28,110
Well,you know,we've been hanging
out a lot lately--movies,dinners.
88
00:03:28,410 --> 00:03:30,510
You know,maybe it'll grow from
friends into something else.
89
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:33,910
Todd,listen to me. You are
quickly becoming gay roommate.
90
00:03:34,110 --> 00:03:35,610
If you want it to turn into something,
91
00:03:35,810 --> 00:03:36,910
You gotta make her miss you.
92
00:03:37,110 --> 00:03:41,110
- We live in the same apartment.
- Then get out. Be less available.
93
00:03:41,210 --> 00:03:43,010
All right? Sam is smart.
94
00:03:43,210 --> 00:03:45,610
Why buy the bull when you
can castrate it for free?
95
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:47,910
- Wow. That's--That's
beautiful,man. - Mm-Hmm.
96
00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:49,710
Hey. Hey,seth...
97
00:03:49,810 --> 00:03:52,410
- You work for tony dane,right?
- Towel boy.
98
00:03:52,610 --> 00:03:53,910
Mock if you will,my friend,
99
00:03:54,010 --> 00:03:55,710
but if it weren't for
me, he'd always be wet.
100
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:56,810
Yeah,well,you know,
101
00:03:56,910 --> 00:03:58,910
I don't like the way that
he is treating andrea.
102
00:03:59,010 --> 00:04:01,010
I mean,what--Why is
he stringing her along?
103
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:02,410
I mean,does he not
like her or something?
104
00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:05,710
I mean,what is he afraid of
commitment? Like,what's the deal?
105
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:09,210
Well,i don't know. I'll--I'll The
next time we get our nails done.
106
00:04:09,310 --> 00:04:11,210
Look,i need to talk to him,ok?
107
00:04:11,310 --> 00:04:13,310
- Why?
- Because i owe her.
108
00:04:13,410 --> 00:04:16,410
Look,i just need a way
to get to him... sethy.
109
00:04:19,410 --> 00:04:20,310
So what,i just go in?
110
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,910
This is what you wanted.
Now here is your press pass.
111
00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:25,610
If you get caught or
captured, i don't know you,
112
00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:28,710
Because believe it or not,it is
possible for me to be demoted.
113
00:04:28,910 --> 00:04:31,010
Really? Wow. Okay.
114
00:04:33,710 --> 00:04:36,610
Good game. Good game.
Way to play. Way to play.
115
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,210
Oh,i'm sorry about that.
Ooh,that's a whole lot of naked.
116
00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:42,210
- That's a whole...
- how did u guys give up 20 unanswered points in the fourth quarter?
117
00:04:42,510 --> 00:04:43,810
We gotta come to play every night.
118
00:04:43,910 --> 00:04:45,710
Anyone in this league can
beat you any night of the week,
119
00:04:45,810 --> 00:04:49,510
So...you gotta rely on your
teammates. Any more questions?
120
00:04:50,110 --> 00:04:52,610
Why do you keep canceling on Andrea Belladonna?
121
00:04:52,810 --> 00:04:54,010
What paper are you with?
122
00:04:54,110 --> 00:04:56,210
I happen to be with,uh...
123
00:04:58,110 --> 00:04:59,610
"Heinie" magazine.
124
00:05:00,010 --> 00:05:01,610
Anyway,why do you keep canceling on her?
125
00:05:01,710 --> 00:05:04,510
What--What is it,are you a
commitment phobe or a big fat liar?
126
00:05:04,610 --> 00:05:05,810
Which is it?
127
00:05:06,010 --> 00:05:08,210
I'm not canceling on her.
She's canceling on me.
128
00:05:08,810 --> 00:05:11,210
Really? That's weird.
129
00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:16,510
Hey,andrea.
130
00:05:16,810 --> 00:05:20,010
- What did you do?
- Me? Nothin'.This and that.
131
00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:22,910
- You?
- Oh,me? Me?
132
00:05:23,010 --> 00:05:25,110
I got a text message from tony dane.
133
00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:27,910
He said,"some crazy blonde
came into my locker room
134
00:05:28,010 --> 00:05:30,510
And accused me of
always canceling on you."
135
00:05:31,410 --> 00:05:34,510
That paris hilton. God,she's everywhere.
136
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:36,110
You just had to get involved,didn't you?
137
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:38,710
- I told you to leave it alone.
- Yeah,well,you know what?
138
00:05:38,810 --> 00:05:41,010
You also told me that
he was canceling on you.
139
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:43,610
So you know what? You lied to
me, And i--That's one of the sins.
140
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:44,610
Don't even!
141
00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:46,210
Why don't you want to see him?
142
00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:48,810
Because! Because it is perfect.
143
00:05:48,910 --> 00:05:52,810
We text each other all the time.
We-We share things. We never fight.
144
00:05:52,910 --> 00:05:56,910
It is the best relationship i've
ever had,And you just destroyed it.
145
00:05:59,410 --> 00:06:00,710
I guess you managed to hear all that.
146
00:06:01,010 --> 00:06:02,010
Some.
147
00:06:02,110 --> 00:06:04,010
Mostly,i was writing a poem.
148
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:08,710
Ooh. Blah.
149
00:06:14,910 --> 00:06:16,510
Excuse me. Excuse me.
150
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:18,110
Hey.
151
00:06:18,210 --> 00:06:23,010
I am completely afraid That a bug is
gonna crawl down my throat when i'm asleep.
152
00:06:23,110 --> 00:06:25,010
I saw that on the discovery
channel Last night.
153
00:06:25,710 --> 00:06:28,310
When did you start thinking
that your life needed a narrator?
154
00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:31,010
Everyone is afraid of
something,all right?
155
00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:32,810
Go out with tony.
156
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:35,710
You need more than a
text relationship,andrea.
157
00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:37,010
You deserve that.
158
00:06:37,310 --> 00:06:39,510
- And tony likes you.
- No. No.
159
00:06:39,610 --> 00:06:41,710
he likes the stuff my phone says i say.
160
00:06:41,910 --> 00:06:44,710
Okay? I mean, i could
be this perfect person,
161
00:06:44,810 --> 00:06:47,710
And i plan every word, and
i could spell-Check myself.
162
00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:51,810
I mean,what if i meet him, and every
word that just comes out of my mouth
163
00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:53,710
Is just misspelled?
164
00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:57,410
Well,if that's what you're
worried about,i'll go with you.
165
00:06:57,510 --> 00:07:01,010
I'll bring todd. We can be like
the ricardos and the mertzes...
166
00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:02,210
The flintstones and the rubbles.
167
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:03,910
Yeah,i've been watching way too much tv.
168
00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:05,010
Yes.
169
00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:09,010
Mr. Newly,hi. I have a situation.
170
00:07:09,110 --> 00:07:12,610
I've been writing to a soldier in iraq,
And i may have mentioned in a letter
171
00:07:12,710 --> 00:07:15,110
That my refrigerator's broken.
Today this one showed up.
172
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,110
And if my boyfriend--
My real boyfriend,chase,
173
00:07:17,210 --> 00:07:20,210
Sees it at my place,
he'll know i'm cheating.
174
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,010
Regina,it's for you!
175
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,110
Uh...
176
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:27,310
Hey,todd,will you bring me my purse?
177
00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:36,010
Hey,is the man of the house at home?
178
00:07:36,210 --> 00:07:38,710
- I was getting this for samantha.
- Yeah,that's better.
179
00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:43,610
Oh,um,before i forget,We are going
out with andrea tomorrow night,okay?
180
00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:45,010
Hey,seth.
181
00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:48,410
No.
182
00:07:50,310 --> 00:07:52,910
- No?
- No. Not available.
183
00:07:53,410 --> 00:07:55,010
Not even gonna say why.
184
00:07:55,110 --> 00:07:59,110
Okay,well,i just thought You might
wanna hang out with tony dane,
185
00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:01,110
But i guess i was wrong.
186
00:08:11,110 --> 00:08:13,210
- Okay! Okay.
- Yay! 8:00.
187
00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:16,610
This is you playing hard to
get,huh? So far i've only seen "get."
188
00:08:16,710 --> 00:08:17,910
I'm hanging out with tony dane.
189
00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:20,710
I can still ignore sam. In fact,this
way, She can see me ignore her.
190
00:08:20,810 --> 00:08:22,210
It'll drive her nuts,huh? Up high!
191
00:08:22,310 --> 00:08:23,010
- Gay...
- Shut up.
192
00:08:23,110 --> 00:08:24,410
Roommate.
193
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:28,010
This is in farsi.
194
00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:30,210
I should have stopped
writing captain randy.
195
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,410
Sam said it was okay,
196
00:08:31,510 --> 00:08:34,610
but now look the poor guy is
sending me major appliances.
197
00:08:34,710 --> 00:08:37,510
I mean,i-I have to get out of
this. It's tearing me apart.
198
00:08:37,610 --> 00:08:39,410
I can't keep living two lives.
199
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,110
Honey,i don't think you're living one.
200
00:08:43,110 --> 00:08:44,410
You gotta break up with this guy.
201
00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:47,810
I can't break up with a soldier.I have
a "support the troops" sticker on my car.
202
00:08:47,910 --> 00:08:49,610
Oh,then let me do it. Please?
203
00:08:49,710 --> 00:08:52,710
I haven't broken up with anyone for so
long. It'll make me feel like a teenager.
204
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:54,410
No,it's my responsibility.
205
00:08:54,610 --> 00:08:57,610
I'm--I'm just gonna
go and--And do it now.
206
00:08:57,910 --> 00:09:00,610
Fine. Leave, but don't come back.
207
00:09:01,810 --> 00:09:03,610
- Excuse me?
- No.
208
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:05,910
Please don't...
209
00:09:06,410 --> 00:09:08,510
Don't make this any
harder than it needs to be.
210
00:09:09,610 --> 00:09:12,810
We had our chance, but
our chance came and went.
211
00:09:13,610 --> 00:09:14,710
People change.
212
00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:16,510
So just...
213
00:09:17,010 --> 00:09:18,710
Just walk away...
214
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,410
And always remember
the times that we had.
215
00:09:26,710 --> 00:09:29,310
Oh! Oh!
216
00:09:29,510 --> 00:09:31,110
You are so hired.
217
00:09:36,710 --> 00:09:38,510
Hello? Thirsty.
218
00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:39,910
- Mm.
- My drink?
219
00:09:40,210 --> 00:09:41,910
Uh,you know, I-I forgot you were there
220
00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:44,710
- Ahem.
- You know what? I should go.
221
00:09:44,910 --> 00:09:47,210
Yeah,i have a big tort
complaint to prepare for,
222
00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:49,810
And you don't even know what that
is, So you can't say i'm lying.
223
00:09:50,010 --> 00:09:52,810
- Yeah.
- Here he comes.
224
00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:55,010
You see? He hates me.
225
00:09:55,210 --> 00:09:56,810
He doesn't. Just breathe,okay?
226
00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:03,610
Andrea? Oh,it was
definitely worth the wait.
227
00:10:05,110 --> 00:10:06,410
High-Lo.
228
00:10:07,010 --> 00:10:10,410
I mean to say "hi," And--And
then i thought,"hello,"
229
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:13,310
And it came out like,"high-Lo."
230
00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:15,910
Let me start again.
231
00:10:16,910 --> 00:10:18,010
High-Lo.
232
00:10:20,610 --> 00:10:22,610
Now philly-- That's a
tough town to play in.
233
00:10:22,710 --> 00:10:23,710
Huh.
234
00:10:24,310 --> 00:10:25,710
So are you two together or what?
235
00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:29,910
- Uh,well,we used to be,but now we just live together.
- Nope. I'm alone. Lone wolf.
236
00:10:32,810 --> 00:10:34,110
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
237
00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:35,610
Yeah.
238
00:10:37,810 --> 00:10:38,710
Oh,excuse me.
239
00:10:59,710 --> 00:11:01,110
- Gay?
- Trust me.
240
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,510
Yeah,well, he wasn't before he went.
241
00:11:03,810 --> 00:11:06,810
He--He took the urinal right next
to me, And then there was a look.
242
00:11:07,010 --> 00:11:08,210
How does that make him gay?
243
00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:10,610
- And then there was a nod.
- Okay,a look and a nod.
244
00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:11,610
- That's it?
- And smile.
245
00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:13,210
There was a look, a nod and a smile,sam.
246
00:11:13,410 --> 00:11:14,910
The only thing missing was ice skates.
247
00:11:15,210 --> 00:11:17,610
- Ice skates?
- Well,figure skaters are gay,right?
248
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:19,810
Look,i-I don't know.
This is not my scene.
249
00:11:20,010 --> 00:11:22,010
Sam. Sam,come here.
250
00:11:22,210 --> 00:11:24,410
Do not say anything,all right?
This is going really well,
251
00:11:24,510 --> 00:11:27,910
And i'm not gonna let
anything screw it up. Okay?
252
00:11:29,410 --> 00:11:30,210
Yeah?
253
00:11:30,310 --> 00:11:32,610
Tony just said the most amazing
thing. Go ahead. Say it again.
254
00:11:32,810 --> 00:11:35,510
- I just said i liked her shoes.
- No,no,no.
255
00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:38,410
He said he liked my
vintage lacroix shoes.
256
00:11:38,510 --> 00:11:41,310
I mean,really,what kind of man
notices something like that?
257
00:11:41,510 --> 00:11:43,010
Sam,thoughts?
258
00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:51,110
Look at her. She likes him.
259
00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:54,210
Maybe she can change him.
It's possible,you know.
260
00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:56,510
They have camps for that. I
saw it on the bible channel.
261
00:11:56,610 --> 00:11:58,410
- Look,just tell her.
- Tell her what?
262
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,810
That she's in love with a gay
man? I can't tell her that.
263
00:12:01,010 --> 00:12:03,710
She's just gonna think that i'm
sabotaging her relationship again.
264
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:04,610
Okay,so don't tell her.
265
00:12:04,710 --> 00:12:06,810
She's in love with a gay man,
todd. How can i not tell her?
266
00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:08,110
She's gonna get hurt.
267
00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:10,710
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
You're right. You're right.
268
00:12:10,810 --> 00:12:12,510
I don't tell her. I show her.
269
00:12:12,710 --> 00:12:15,710
So if she sees it for herself,
then she can't be mad at me,right?
270
00:12:15,810 --> 00:12:17,810
Thank you so much. You
are such a good friend. Oh!
271
00:12:17,910 --> 00:12:20,310
Wait. Friend? No,no,no, I'm not your...
272
00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:23,010
Damn it.
273
00:12:25,810 --> 00:12:27,210
Hmm? Like it?
274
00:12:27,610 --> 00:12:29,910
"Hey,look at me. I'm a breakup artist."
275
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:31,310
Nice stove.
276
00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:32,810
I'm sorry.
277
00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:35,510
He wrote and told me how hard it was for
him over there,and i wanted to relate,
278
00:12:35,610 --> 00:12:38,810
So...i told him the pilot light
on my stove kept going out.
279
00:12:38,910 --> 00:12:41,010
You were supposed to be
helping me out of this.
280
00:12:41,310 --> 00:12:42,810
I couldn't do it.
281
00:12:42,810 --> 00:12:44,810
I might be the only thing
keeping him alive at night.
282
00:12:45,610 --> 00:12:46,710
Who are you keeping alive at night?
283
00:12:47,010 --> 00:12:49,810
- My soldier.
- Oh,i'll break up with him.
284
00:12:50,010 --> 00:12:51,710
I fire people all the time. No problem.
285
00:12:51,910 --> 00:12:54,110
But nobody buys my wife a stove.
286
00:12:54,210 --> 00:12:55,310
Including you.
287
00:12:55,410 --> 00:12:56,510
Damn right.
288
00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,210
Look at it.
289
00:12:59,410 --> 00:13:01,110
You begged for it. Look at it.
290
00:13:01,510 --> 00:13:05,310
Tony,you know,um,todd and i
were--Were talking this morning
291
00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:07,910
About what our favorite characters
On "sex and the city" were,
292
00:13:08,010 --> 00:13:11,210
And i was just curious what yours was.
293
00:13:11,310 --> 00:13:14,510
You know,i've--I've never-- I've
never seen "sex and the city."
294
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:15,510
Mm-Hmm.
295
00:13:15,610 --> 00:13:16,610
That's okay.
296
00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:19,210
You know,let's put on
some music,all right?
297
00:13:19,310 --> 00:13:21,910
Hey,tony,you can pick, 'cause
you're--You're the guest.
298
00:13:22,310 --> 00:13:24,710
Um,we have foo fighters,
299
00:13:25,010 --> 00:13:26,010
Metallica,
300
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:28,710
"Mamma mia."
301
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:32,210
Hey,what's your favorite musical,tony?
302
00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:34,510
I'm really not into musicals.
303
00:13:34,610 --> 00:13:36,710
Oh,really? So we're gonna
play it that way,huh?
304
00:13:37,510 --> 00:13:40,510
Uh,andrea,i need to get some more
wine. Will you help me open up a bottle?
305
00:13:40,610 --> 00:13:41,810
- Okay
- good.
306
00:13:42,710 --> 00:13:44,610
You guys have fun.
307
00:13:47,210 --> 00:13:48,110
I like him.
308
00:13:48,810 --> 00:13:51,510
Oh,me,too. You
know,i think we--
309
00:13:51,610 --> 00:13:53,110
I think you should have sex with him.
310
00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:55,510
- What?
- Yeah,right now. Just try.
311
00:13:55,610 --> 00:13:57,810
And then ob-Observe
what happens,you know?
312
00:13:57,910 --> 00:13:59,310
If he says he's not in the mood,then...
313
00:13:59,410 --> 00:14:03,010
then you tell him to get in the
mood or explain why not. Okay?
314
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,910
- That sounds kinda hot.
- Yeah,it is,kinda.
315
00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:08,410
But i like him. I really do.
316
00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:11,110
I think i kinda want to
take it slow with him.
317
00:14:11,910 --> 00:14:13,310
Oh,my god.
318
00:14:13,410 --> 00:14:16,110
Maybe some of the new
u is rubbing off on me.
319
00:14:16,410 --> 00:14:17,510
Ah.
320
00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:21,110
Now?
321
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,110
Oh,god.
322
00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:26,110
What are you doing leaving
me out there with him?
323
00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:29,910
- I'm a pleaser. You know that.
- Look, Andrea is just not getting it.
324
00:14:30,810 --> 00:14:33,110
- I need you to sleep with tony dane.
- Sorry?
325
00:14:33,210 --> 00:14:34,510
Well,we already know that he likes you,
326
00:14:34,610 --> 00:14:37,210
So we just need him to,like,
hion you in front of her.
327
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,010
Oh,i know what we could
do. We could go in there.
328
00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:41,810
We could--We could all start
dancing,and then i-I'll switch,
329
00:14:41,910 --> 00:14:43,010
And then you can start
dancing with tony...
330
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:45,010
- wait,wait,wait,wait. - And i'll start
dancing with-- You and i will switch with them.
331
00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:46,210
- No. No,no,no.
- Then you start dancing with him.
332
00:14:46,610 --> 00:14:49,510
- Let's just open this up a little bit. Let me just open this up.
- Will you just cut it out?
333
00:14:49,610 --> 00:14:52,110
- Put some oil on there because i think it needs to shimmer.
- Stop. Stop it!
334
00:14:52,210 --> 00:14:54,310
What you doing? I'm not your toy,
335
00:14:54,510 --> 00:14:58,010
i'm not your pal,i'm not your
girlfriend, and i'm not your gay roommate.
336
00:14:58,110 --> 00:15:00,010
I'm here,okay? Right here.
337
00:15:00,510 --> 00:15:02,310
And i guess that's the problem.
338
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,010
Drama queen,huh?
339
00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:13,410
Snap.
340
00:15:14,810 --> 00:15:16,210
- Where's andrea?
- Uh,bathroom.
341
00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:19,410
Oh,good. Then it's just the two of us.
342
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:22,110
All right,tony,come on.
You can be straight with me.
343
00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:26,110
- I-I'm sorry. That's a very poor choice
of words. - What you talking about?
344
00:15:26,210 --> 00:15:28,110
- Tony,i think you know.
- Do i?
345
00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:32,110
Tony,i know what happened in
the men's room with todd,okay?
346
00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:34,010
And--And--And andrea
is my best friend,
347
00:15:34,110 --> 00:15:36,210
And i'm not gonna stand
by and let her get hurt.
348
00:15:36,410 --> 00:15:38,010
Look,she's gonna understand,
349
00:15:38,210 --> 00:15:42,110
you know?I-I have admitted so many horrible
things to her,And she's always forgiven me.
350
00:15:42,210 --> 00:15:45,310
Not that being gay is horrible Or--Or
needs to be forgiven or anything like that.
351
00:15:45,510 --> 00:15:48,310
I actually think it's good.
I think it's--It's--Go,gays!
352
00:15:48,610 --> 00:15:49,510
So...
353
00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:53,310
- Hey.
- Hey.
354
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:54,910
Uh,what's going on?
355
00:15:56,710 --> 00:15:58,310
Andrea,um...
356
00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:01,410
This i't easy to say.
357
00:16:01,910 --> 00:16:03,810
It's okay. It's
okay,tony. It's all right.
358
00:16:03,910 --> 00:16:07,410
Andrea,tony has something
that he needs to tell you.
359
00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:10,010
- Sam tried to hit on me.
- What?!
360
00:16:10,110 --> 00:16:11,110
Sam!
361
00:16:11,110 --> 00:16:12,410
No! No. What?
362
00:16:12,410 --> 00:16:13,810
And i-I don't want to come
between the two of you,
363
00:16:13,910 --> 00:16:15,810
But i think,you know, we
should--We should just go.
364
00:16:15,910 --> 00:16:18,710
I was not hitting on him.I
was not hitting on you.
365
00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,410
I was--Why would
i hit on him?
366
00:16:20,710 --> 00:16:21,810
He's gay!
367
00:16:22,410 --> 00:16:23,810
Yeah,you're gay.
368
00:16:24,210 --> 00:16:25,210
He's gay.
369
00:16:25,310 --> 00:16:27,210
There. Oh,god,i said it. I said it.
370
00:16:27,310 --> 00:16:29,610
Whew. Big weight lifted now.
371
00:16:29,810 --> 00:16:32,610
Oh,honey,he is gay.
372
00:16:33,210 --> 00:16:34,610
Oh,my god.
373
00:16:35,310 --> 00:16:39,310
Honestly,sam, A new low,even for you.
374
00:16:39,410 --> 00:16:40,810
- What? No.
- Mm!
375
00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:42,510
He's gay.
376
00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:44,810
He was staring at todd's...
377
00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:49,610
Maybe i do have some sort of pathological
need to destroy all of her relationships.
378
00:16:49,710 --> 00:16:52,110
You know,it's,like,i don't
know if tony dane is gay.
379
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:53,410
I could be totally wrong.
380
00:16:53,510 --> 00:16:55,010
My boyfriend in college was gay.
381
00:16:55,110 --> 00:16:57,010
We didn't know it at the
time. I mean,he knew it,
382
00:16:57,110 --> 00:17:01,110
And all the members of the,you know,
man alive choir,But i did not see it.
383
00:17:01,710 --> 00:17:03,710
Yeah. Now andrea hasn't
called me back for two days.
384
00:17:03,910 --> 00:17:06,510
Todd's avoiding me. He
leaves before i even get up.
385
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:08,110
Well,did you do something make him mad?
386
00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:11,210
Like ask him to oil up
and seduce tony dane?
387
00:17:11,610 --> 00:17:13,510
Hmm. No. Just that.
388
00:17:16,310 --> 00:17:17,310
Hi.
389
00:17:17,710 --> 00:17:18,810
Hey,guys.
390
00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:20,110
Hey.
391
00:17:20,410 --> 00:17:22,710
- Guess who's gay.
- No one. No one's gay,
392
00:17:22,810 --> 00:17:25,610
And anyone who says that they
are Are just kidding themselves.
393
00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:28,810
Tony dane.
394
00:17:29,010 --> 00:17:31,810
Maybe not. Maybe i'm
just being narrow-Minded.
395
00:17:32,110 --> 00:17:34,810
You know what? In europe,
straight guys--They hold hands,
396
00:17:34,910 --> 00:17:37,110
They walk right on--They
walk right on down the street.
397
00:17:37,410 --> 00:17:39,410
No,he's gay. He told me himself.
398
00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:40,310
- He did?
- Mm-Hmm.
399
00:17:40,410 --> 00:17:43,510
You know that i was not
trying to break you guys up.
400
00:17:43,610 --> 00:17:48,510
Yes,and today we're leaking
our relationship to the press.
401
00:17:48,710 --> 00:17:50,110
Okay,i know that i'm
the one with amnesia,
402
00:17:50,210 --> 00:17:52,510
But that still means when two
guys love each other and they...
403
00:17:52,610 --> 00:17:55,110
- mm-Hmm. Yeah. -
No,look,this is all good.
404
00:17:55,310 --> 00:18:00,310
Tony gets to have me on his arm, And i
get paparazzi,press and private planes,
405
00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:03,310
And i get to see
whoever i want in secret,
406
00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:05,310
So you know what,sam? You were right.
407
00:18:05,410 --> 00:18:08,610
I need more out of
a relationship--Fame.
408
00:18:09,410 --> 00:18:10,410
Okay.
409
00:18:11,010 --> 00:18:13,810
- Are you sure that this is what you want?
- Yes. Yes.
410
00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:15,410
- Really?
- Hey. Bup.
411
00:18:16,410 --> 00:18:19,810
It's just a little weird to
have a guy who's just a friend.
412
00:18:20,110 --> 00:18:22,610
It doesn't have to be. I
mean,look at me and todd.
413
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:25,010
No,it only works if one of you is gay.
414
00:18:25,110 --> 00:18:25,810
Why?
415
00:18:25,910 --> 00:18:29,110
Because there's always one of you that
wants something more than the other one.
416
00:18:29,110 --> 00:18:30,510
Usually me.
417
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:32,310
Or todd.
418
00:18:32,410 --> 00:18:34,410
Oh,god. I am such an idiot.
419
00:18:34,610 --> 00:18:36,910
Of course he was mad i was
trying to put oil on him.
420
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:38,110
I mean,who wants to
be treated like that?
421
00:18:38,310 --> 00:18:40,010
Chase. He loves it when I take baby oil
422
00:18:41,210 --> 00:18:42,710
Ew. Bup-Bup.
Bup-Bup.
423
00:18:43,210 --> 00:18:46,510
I saw this thing the discovery channel
or something about the theory of matter,
424
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:49,110
That matter exists in different forms.
425
00:18:49,810 --> 00:18:51,610
I think the same thing applies to love.
426
00:18:51,910 --> 00:18:55,810
Love is like liquid.It can flow
outward and bring life to a desert...
427
00:18:56,110 --> 00:18:57,210
he's very charming.
428
00:18:57,610 --> 00:19:00,410
You know,he's only on leave for
a week.Just show him a good time.
429
00:19:00,510 --> 00:19:02,810
I can't show him a good time.
You show him a good time.
430
00:19:06,110 --> 00:19:08,510
- Regina,it's for you!
- Hey.
431
00:19:11,110 --> 00:19:15,110
Love can be a gas-- Light as air and
assuming the shape of its container...
432
00:19:17,610 --> 00:19:20,410
I mean,it's crazy. I have been
so busy with other people's lives
433
00:19:20,510 --> 00:19:22,910
That i have paid no attention
to what's happening in mine.
434
00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:24,110
Like todd
435
00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:26,810
I mean,if he has feelings for
me, We need to talk about that
436
00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:29,910
And about my feelings
about his feelings for me
437
00:19:30,010 --> 00:19:33,310
Or if i have feelings for him
and my feelings about that.
438
00:19:33,510 --> 00:19:34,510
You know?
439
00:19:35,310 --> 00:19:40,910
So i'm just gonna open up some
wine And settle in for a nice chat.
440
00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:44,710
White wine and feelings--
He's a very lucky man.
441
00:19:45,410 --> 00:19:46,610
Good night,miss newly.
442
00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:48,010
Good night,frank.
443
00:19:52,710 --> 00:19:53,710
Hey,todd?
444
00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:57,310
Hey. Can we just
talk about some--
445
00:19:58,210 --> 00:19:59,210
Hi.
446
00:20:00,410 --> 00:20:01,510
You there.
447
00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:02,610
Hi.
448
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:04,010
Hi.
449
00:20:04,110 --> 00:20:06,410
Sam,this is cameron.
450
00:20:06,910 --> 00:20:08,010
We were just going out.
451
00:20:08,210 --> 00:20:10,810
Yeah. Okay,good. Hi.
452
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:13,810
Th's--You'll like
that. Yeah. And him.
453
00:20:14,110 --> 00:20:17,310
You'll like him, 'cause he's not... gay.
454
00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:19,610
You wanted to talk?
455
00:20:19,810 --> 00:20:22,510
Hmm? Me? No. I'm good.
456
00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:24,710
Have fun. Yeah.
457
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:28,310
Plus,i only got enough
wine for one,so...
458
00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:30,910
So yeah.
459
00:20:38,810 --> 00:20:41,910
And like matter,love can't
be created or destroyed.
460
00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:45,010
It's always there, even
if you can't see it,
461
00:20:46,610 --> 00:20:49,310
Even if it's right
there in front of you.
462
00:20:49,410 --> 00:20:53,410
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463
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:58,010
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