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1
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[Pop music]
2
00:00:04,547 --> 00:00:06,514
Oh, come on.
3
00:00:06,582 --> 00:00:08,716
If you're gonna come here, assimilate!
4
00:00:08,784 --> 00:00:11,452
Get out of the streets,
and get your asses to work!
5
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:14,422
Mom, who else is gonna do those jobs?
6
00:00:14,490 --> 00:00:17,592
Can I tell you something,
and you won't get mad?
7
00:00:17,660 --> 00:00:19,360
This country's got too many Mexicans.
8
00:00:19,428 --> 00:00:22,497
All they do is come
here, steal loose change,
9
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have babies, and loiter.
10
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:28,803
Yeah, I see one loitering
in my kitchen right now.
11
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Go back to where you came from!
12
00:00:31,974 --> 00:00:33,908
You know, I thought you'd
have more compassion.
13
00:00:33,976 --> 00:00:35,276
You used to be a farm worker.
14
00:00:35,344 --> 00:00:37,679
You marched side-by-side
with Cesar Chavez!
15
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,647
I just told you that to
get you off your fat ass
16
00:00:39,715 --> 00:00:40,815
and get a job.
17
00:00:40,883 --> 00:00:42,483
I was never a farm worker.
18
00:00:42,551 --> 00:00:45,186
I was bent over, all right,
but I wasn't in a field.
19
00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:48,623
[Electrical fizzling]
20
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Hey, lazy Mexican.
21
00:00:50,859 --> 00:00:52,193
When are you gonna get that fixed?
22
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:54,696
Okay, I got a contractor coming over today.
23
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Let your tio fix it.
24
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He can fix anything.
25
00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:58,633
My drunk-ass uncle?
26
00:00:58,701 --> 00:00:59,767
No, thanks.
27
00:00:59,835 --> 00:01:00,802
I hired a professional.
28
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Oh. A professional.
29
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Now that you live in a big house
30
00:01:06,508 --> 00:01:08,209
in a fancy-ass white neighborhood,
31
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:10,979
your own Uncle's not
good enough to work on it?
32
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[Chuckles] Yeah, you're right.
33
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- [Lively music over TV]
- Oh, hey, a commercial.
34
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[Music continues]
35
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[Speaking Spanish]
36
00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:21,589
(Both) Ay! La energia!
37
00:01:21,657 --> 00:01:22,757
I was watching that.
38
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Too many Mexicans on TV.
39
00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:27,528
Mom!
40
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Can you watch where
you put your stuff down?
41
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I can't show up at school
42
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:31,866
with coffee rings and... [sniffs]
43
00:01:31,934 --> 00:01:34,402
chorizo stains all over my tests!
44
00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:36,371
Can I tell you something,
and you won't get mad?
45
00:01:36,438 --> 00:01:37,905
Oh, no.
46
00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:39,040
Why are you teaching?
47
00:01:39,108 --> 00:01:41,709
You were always stupid.
48
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Teaching is my way of giving back.
49
00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:45,446
Giving back what?
50
00:01:45,514 --> 00:01:49,050
Giving back stupid?
51
00:01:49,118 --> 00:01:51,786
There's enough stupid people
in the world, Saint George.
52
00:01:51,854 --> 00:01:54,889
You've done your job.
53
00:01:54,957 --> 00:01:56,724
Well, if you're still
alive when I get home,
54
00:01:56,792 --> 00:01:58,326
we'll continue this conversation.
55
00:01:58,394 --> 00:01:59,560
Oh, I'll still be alive.
56
00:01:59,628 --> 00:02:03,097
I'm gonna outlive your fat ass.
57
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,699
Hey, dad.
58
00:02:04,767 --> 00:02:06,334
What are you doing here? It's not my day.
59
00:02:06,402 --> 00:02:07,435
- Mom's dropping me off.
- Oh.
60
00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:10,204
"Not my day. What are you doing here?"
61
00:02:10,272 --> 00:02:12,240
Is that the way a father greets his son?
62
00:02:12,308 --> 00:02:14,909
Hey, look, Mac, I don't have
Harper until the seventh.
63
00:02:14,977 --> 00:02:19,347
And today is the seventh. [Chuckles]
64
00:02:19,415 --> 00:02:21,015
It is my day. Welcome! [Chuckles]
65
00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:22,617
- [Chuckles sarcastically]
- I'll be upstairs.
66
00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:23,785
Harper, give your grandma a hug!
67
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,219
I'm not gonna hug her.
68
00:02:25,287 --> 00:02:28,189
She's mean.
69
00:02:28,257 --> 00:02:29,490
You got that right, Hyper.
70
00:02:29,558 --> 00:02:32,593
His name is "Harper."
71
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[Mutters in Spanish]
72
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:36,130
She doesn't even know his name?
73
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:39,400
What kind of woman delights in
terrorizing her own grandson?
74
00:02:39,468 --> 00:02:40,635
[Speaking Spanish] Flaca!
75
00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:41,703
[Chuckles]
76
00:02:41,770 --> 00:02:43,438
Well, what did she say?
77
00:02:43,505 --> 00:02:45,239
You know what? She's giving
you a recipe for salsa.
78
00:02:45,307 --> 00:02:48,776
I would be writing this down.
79
00:02:48,844 --> 00:02:51,112
Listen, I'll pick up Harper tomorrow night.
80
00:02:51,180 --> 00:02:52,914
Just make sure he takes his probiotics,
81
00:02:52,981 --> 00:02:54,982
and help him fill out his
application for soccer.
82
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,851
And make sure he does his math homework.
83
00:02:56,919 --> 00:02:58,786
Wait a minute, I have my class tonight.
84
00:02:58,854 --> 00:03:01,155
Oh, so you would rather spend the evening
85
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,457
with 25 kids you don't know
86
00:03:02,524 --> 00:03:04,792
than spend the evening with your own son?
87
00:03:04,860 --> 00:03:06,728
Okay, it's not an evening, it's two hours.
88
00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:08,029
And my mom is here, she'll watch him.
89
00:03:08,097 --> 00:03:09,530
No, we've been through this.
90
00:03:09,598 --> 00:03:13,101
I don't trust your mother with our son.
91
00:03:13,168 --> 00:03:14,235
She's negative.
92
00:03:14,303 --> 00:03:17,271
She is racist, profane, and judgmental.
93
00:03:17,339 --> 00:03:19,407
That's true.
94
00:03:19,475 --> 00:03:21,476
Look, look, all right, listen to me.
95
00:03:21,543 --> 00:03:23,911
Your friends pay $7 an hour
96
00:03:23,979 --> 00:03:25,947
to have a Mexican woman watch their kids.
97
00:03:26,014 --> 00:03:27,982
Here you're getting it for free.
98
00:03:28,050 --> 00:03:29,517
Okay.
99
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:31,753
Just make sure he does his math homework
100
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,088
and help him fill out that
application for soccer.
101
00:03:34,156 --> 00:03:37,325
And don't let your mom
cuss at him in Spanish.
102
00:03:37,393 --> 00:03:38,693
Don't worry.
103
00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:43,931
I'll watch the little son of a bitch.
104
00:03:43,999 --> 00:03:45,366
Perfect English.
105
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,702
You're worrying for
nothing. Have a good evening.
106
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:50,738
[Groovy music]
107
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[Speaking Spanish]
108
00:03:52,241 --> 00:03:55,743
109
00:03:55,811 --> 00:03:57,512
Yo, Georgie!
110
00:03:57,579 --> 00:03:58,980
Your mama called me on the phone.
111
00:03:59,047 --> 00:04:02,116
Said we had an electrical emergency.
112
00:04:02,184 --> 00:04:04,685
Okay, tio, I'm not letting your drunk ass
113
00:04:04,753 --> 00:04:07,488
near my electricity.
114
00:04:07,556 --> 00:04:09,190
I got a contractor coming over.
115
00:04:09,258 --> 00:04:10,858
You'll let a licensed
professional work on it,
116
00:04:10,926 --> 00:04:14,562
and you won't let me?
117
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Hell, yeah.
118
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,966
What does he got that I don't got?
119
00:04:19,034 --> 00:04:21,536
Uh, he's got a license and a truck
120
00:04:21,603 --> 00:04:25,540
and a blood alcohol level lower than 4.9.
121
00:04:25,607 --> 00:04:27,742
You know how white you sound right now?
122
00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:30,578
That's sad.
123
00:04:30,590 --> 00:04:32,924
Tio, you don't know anything about wiring.
124
00:04:32,992 --> 00:04:35,594
What about that time that
you electrocuted yourself
125
00:04:35,661 --> 00:04:37,863
at the church carnival?
126
00:04:37,930 --> 00:04:40,599
That's right!
127
00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:41,933
They had to shut down the rides
128
00:04:42,001 --> 00:04:44,636
till the smell of your
burnt hair went away.
129
00:04:44,704 --> 00:04:46,571
It never grew back on my legs.
130
00:04:46,639 --> 00:04:47,873
[Laughs]
131
00:04:47,940 --> 00:04:50,375
Hey, but I didn't drop my beer.
132
00:04:50,443 --> 00:04:52,711
It got warm, but I didn't drop it.
133
00:04:52,779 --> 00:04:54,379
You know what, tio?
134
00:04:54,447 --> 00:04:56,248
That's the most attention
anyone's ever paid to you.
135
00:04:56,315 --> 00:04:58,250
Do you remember what you
said when you woke up?
136
00:04:58,317 --> 00:04:59,918
"I'm alive!"
137
00:04:59,986 --> 00:05:02,421
Yeah, I was alive.
138
00:05:02,488 --> 00:05:03,522
[Doorbell rings]
139
00:05:03,589 --> 00:05:05,657
Hey, come on, Georgie.
140
00:05:05,725 --> 00:05:07,058
Hey, I can get a contractor's
license from junior!
141
00:05:07,126 --> 00:05:08,560
Okay, tio,
142
00:05:08,628 --> 00:05:10,262
I don't want you or your son junior
143
00:05:10,329 --> 00:05:11,296
working on my house.
144
00:05:11,364 --> 00:05:15,000
You guys will kill yourselves.
145
00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:16,635
Oh, hello.
146
00:05:16,702 --> 00:05:18,737
Is the, uh, man of the house here?
147
00:05:18,805 --> 00:05:21,540
[Speaking Spanish]
148
00:05:21,607 --> 00:05:22,741
[With exaggerated accent] No, senor.
149
00:05:22,809 --> 00:05:25,510
He no here.
150
00:05:25,578 --> 00:05:27,012
Listen, amigo.
151
00:05:27,079 --> 00:05:28,880
Just call him on your telefono
152
00:05:28,948 --> 00:05:30,449
and let him know the electrician's here.
153
00:05:30,516 --> 00:05:33,418
[Speaking Spanish]
154
00:05:33,486 --> 00:05:36,721
Pool boy.
155
00:05:36,789 --> 00:05:38,089
Uh, we no speak English.
156
00:05:38,157 --> 00:05:39,591
Please don't tell nobody.
157
00:05:39,659 --> 00:05:41,593
We... we no wanna go back to Mexico.
158
00:05:41,661 --> 00:05:44,896
Nobody likes us there. Ay!
159
00:05:44,964 --> 00:05:46,932
All right, fool, you're hired.
160
00:05:46,999 --> 00:05:49,100
Yeah!
161
00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:52,268
[Chuckles boisterously]
162
00:05:52,336 --> 00:05:55,171
Let me at that control panel!
163
00:05:55,239 --> 00:05:56,606
You don't have any tools?
164
00:05:56,674 --> 00:05:58,174
I got all the tools I need right here.
165
00:05:58,242 --> 00:06:01,010
I thought George only
wanted "professionals"
166
00:06:01,078 --> 00:06:03,846
working on his precious house.
167
00:06:03,914 --> 00:06:05,381
(Tio) [Laughing] He does.
168
00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:07,483
But the licensed contractor
didn't even think he lived here.
169
00:06:07,551 --> 00:06:12,488
"Is the man of the house home?"
170
00:06:12,556 --> 00:06:13,756
You might want to hire a white person
171
00:06:13,824 --> 00:06:15,325
to answer your door.
172
00:06:15,392 --> 00:06:16,693
[Both laugh]
173
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:17,827
But you shoulda seen him.
174
00:06:17,895 --> 00:06:19,996
Standing there like a big stupid.
175
00:06:20,064 --> 00:06:22,432
Hey, do you wanna get fired?
176
00:06:22,499 --> 00:06:23,533
No, no.
177
00:06:23,601 --> 00:06:24,767
You're a disgruntled employee
178
00:06:24,835 --> 00:06:26,336
and you haven't even started yet.
179
00:06:26,403 --> 00:06:28,338
Yeah, Georgie, this is all I need.
180
00:06:28,405 --> 00:06:30,240
Tools for the trade!
181
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:31,341
Are you serious?
182
00:06:31,408 --> 00:06:33,042
You're gonna work on my house
183
00:06:33,110 --> 00:06:34,377
with a spatula and a butter knife?
184
00:06:34,445 --> 00:06:36,813
See? [Speaking Spanish]
185
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,415
You hold the wires back with this,
186
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:42,085
and you turn the screws with this.
187
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:44,153
Counterclockwise. [Chuckles]
188
00:06:44,221 --> 00:06:46,289
All right, let me know which
way you're gonna shoot out.
189
00:06:46,357 --> 00:06:48,491
[Imitates him] Probably counterclockwise.
190
00:06:48,559 --> 00:06:50,627
[Chuckles] Good luck, Buzz!
191
00:06:50,694 --> 00:06:54,264
"To infinity and beyond!"
192
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,132
"Why don't you go back
to where you came from?"
193
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,700
We've all heard it.
194
00:06:57,768 --> 00:06:59,002
[Chuckles]
195
00:06:59,069 --> 00:07:02,171
My mom said it to me this morning.
196
00:07:02,239 --> 00:07:04,173
But does anybody really
know where they're from?
197
00:07:04,241 --> 00:07:05,875
Beverly Hills.
198
00:07:05,943 --> 00:07:07,210
Okay, did you know
199
00:07:07,278 --> 00:07:08,911
that Beverly Hills used
to be part of Mexico?
200
00:07:08,979 --> 00:07:10,813
Oh, my God. No way.
201
00:07:10,881 --> 00:07:15,018
Oh, my God. Way.
202
00:07:15,085 --> 00:07:16,386
And if you look behind the bushes,
203
00:07:16,453 --> 00:07:18,855
you'll probably still
see some Mexicans there.
204
00:07:18,922 --> 00:07:21,357
The history of America is
the history of immigration.
205
00:07:21,425 --> 00:07:23,893
From Plymouth Rock forward.
206
00:07:23,961 --> 00:07:25,762
A lot of people say
207
00:07:25,829 --> 00:07:28,364
that the Pilgrims were
the first illegal aliens.
208
00:07:28,432 --> 00:07:34,337
I mean, how do you discover
land that people already live in?
209
00:07:34,405 --> 00:07:37,607
I don't even think Pilgrims
have been to Arizona.
210
00:07:37,675 --> 00:07:40,176
Can you imagine Sheriff
Joe pulling over a Pilgrim
211
00:07:40,244 --> 00:07:42,915
because his taillight is out?
212
00:07:45,983 --> 00:07:47,317
A lot of people say
213
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,152
that illegal aliens are taking
jobs away from Americans.
214
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,220
If an illegal alien takes
your job, you know what?
215
00:07:51,288 --> 00:07:53,890
Your job sucks.
216
00:07:53,957 --> 00:07:55,024
I don't think anybody's saying,
217
00:07:55,092 --> 00:07:56,259
"well, I wanted to pick strawberries
218
00:07:56,327 --> 00:07:59,128
'cause I heard you get
to wear this cool hat."
219
00:08:02,533 --> 00:08:04,901
Everyone is from someplace else.
220
00:08:04,968 --> 00:08:06,202
So where are you from?
221
00:08:06,270 --> 00:08:07,470
Mexico?
222
00:08:07,538 --> 00:08:09,172
Yeah. You know, I know I don't look it.
223
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,507
But I am Mexican.
224
00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:13,910
I'm also a little Native American.
225
00:08:13,977 --> 00:08:15,878
Not enough to get a casino,
226
00:08:15,946 --> 00:08:21,050
but enough to black out when I drink.
227
00:08:21,118 --> 00:08:23,653
(Male voice over TV) [Speaking Spanish]
228
00:08:23,721 --> 00:08:25,588
Grandma, can you turn that down?
229
00:08:25,656 --> 00:08:27,924
It's too loud, and that
language gives me a headache.
230
00:08:27,991 --> 00:08:29,359
"That language."
231
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,361
You mean Spanish?
232
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:34,731
I don't understand it,
and it makes my head hurt.
233
00:08:34,798 --> 00:08:36,666
I'm trying to do my math homework.
234
00:08:36,734 --> 00:08:38,234
Open your eyes, Hooper.
235
00:08:38,302 --> 00:08:41,037
Harper.
236
00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:44,073
All you need to learn is in this box.
237
00:08:44,141 --> 00:08:47,777
Not in those books.
238
00:08:47,845 --> 00:08:50,313
You see that guy?
239
00:08:50,381 --> 00:08:53,916
That lady is crying because
the man chopped up her brother,
240
00:08:53,984 --> 00:08:55,518
who was part of the cartel.
241
00:08:55,586 --> 00:08:59,756
Put him in the trunk
and set the car on fire.
242
00:08:59,823 --> 00:09:01,624
What does it have to do with math?
243
00:09:01,692 --> 00:09:03,092
The man owed money.
244
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,227
He got killed.
245
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,662
That's math.
246
00:09:06,730 --> 00:09:08,598
He got chopped up into 11 different pieces
247
00:09:08,665 --> 00:09:10,633
and scattered in 5 different places.
248
00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:12,635
That's also math.
249
00:09:12,703 --> 00:09:16,038
Fractions.
250
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,042
Yo! Where's this wire coming from?
251
00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:21,477
Oh, don't worry about it.
252
00:09:21,545 --> 00:09:24,247
I... I'm just kicking
back, enjoying my beverage.
253
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:25,948
I thought you hated la energia.
254
00:09:26,016 --> 00:09:27,183
I do.
255
00:09:27,251 --> 00:09:30,453
But I put some Tequila in it.
256
00:09:30,521 --> 00:09:33,489
Hey, I'm celebrating!
257
00:09:33,557 --> 00:09:37,393
You don't never have to pay
electricity bills forever.
258
00:09:37,461 --> 00:09:40,463
Why would I not have to pay
electricity bills forever?
259
00:09:40,531 --> 00:09:42,598
Because last night...
260
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:47,069
under the cloak of darkness...
261
00:09:47,137 --> 00:09:49,505
I connected your electricity
to your neighbor's house.
262
00:09:49,573 --> 00:09:51,174
- Tio!
- Shh! Shh! Shh!
263
00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:52,375
[Speaking Spanish]
264
00:09:52,443 --> 00:09:54,544
You can't steal electricity, man.
265
00:09:54,611 --> 00:09:55,812
This is a good neighborhood.
266
00:09:55,879 --> 00:09:57,647
People pay their bills,
they're gonna find out.
267
00:09:57,714 --> 00:09:59,582
Unhook it. Now!
268
00:09:59,650 --> 00:10:00,883
Are you crazy?
269
00:10:00,951 --> 00:10:03,586
I just set you up with
free electricity for life.
270
00:10:03,654 --> 00:10:04,854
You know what?
271
00:10:04,922 --> 00:10:05,955
Now you thank Junior.
272
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:07,423
Because Junior was very inspirational
273
00:10:07,491 --> 00:10:12,395
in the result of... of this operation.
274
00:10:12,463 --> 00:10:14,497
Seriously, how many of those have you had?
275
00:10:14,565 --> 00:10:17,233
Seven.
276
00:10:17,301 --> 00:10:19,802
Whatever you did, undo it. Now.
277
00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:22,772
Vamonos.
278
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:26,442
I can never do nothing!
279
00:10:30,938 --> 00:10:32,772
Grandma, I can't eat this.
280
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:35,441
It makes my stomach gurgle.
281
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:38,644
Eat it.
282
00:10:38,712 --> 00:10:39,946
Grandma, I can't drink that.
283
00:10:40,013 --> 00:10:41,981
I'm lactose-intolerant.
284
00:10:42,049 --> 00:10:44,417
And besides it expired last week.
285
00:10:44,485 --> 00:10:45,718
So what?
286
00:10:45,786 --> 00:10:47,820
Your father used to drink
milk that was chunky.
287
00:10:47,888 --> 00:10:51,591
I told him the lumps were marshmallows.
288
00:10:51,658 --> 00:10:52,892
Hey, dad.
289
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:54,494
Grandma said you used to drink chunky milk.
290
00:10:54,561 --> 00:10:55,962
I never drank chunky milk.
291
00:10:56,029 --> 00:11:01,000
I drank milk that had
marshmallows in it, though.
292
00:11:01,068 --> 00:11:03,636
Are you gonna insult me
by not eating my food?
293
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,471
It smells weird.
294
00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:06,906
It's not my food that smells.
295
00:11:06,974 --> 00:11:09,142
It's probably your ass.
296
00:11:09,209 --> 00:11:11,344
That's not nice.
297
00:11:11,411 --> 00:11:13,379
[Scoffs] Hey, come on.
298
00:11:13,447 --> 00:11:14,847
Listen, I'm not gonna let
you talk to Harper like that.
299
00:11:14,915 --> 00:11:16,149
[Speaking Spanish]
300
00:11:16,216 --> 00:11:18,484
I'll talk to anybody any way that I want
301
00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:20,286
in my own house.
302
00:11:20,354 --> 00:11:21,621
[Chuckles] This isn't your house.
303
00:11:21,688 --> 00:11:22,855
This is my house.
304
00:11:22,923 --> 00:11:24,891
You are an unwelcome guest.
305
00:11:24,958 --> 00:11:27,193
Well, for nine months,
you were an unwelcome
306
00:11:27,261 --> 00:11:29,962
guest in my womb.
307
00:11:30,030 --> 00:11:31,798
Well, I'm sure a lot of men went in,
308
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,866
but only one came out alive.
309
00:11:33,934 --> 00:11:35,434
You didn't even wait for
the doctor to slap me.
310
00:11:35,502 --> 00:11:37,670
You hit me first, then you
put a little knife down,
311
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:42,742
and you told the doctor I came at you.
312
00:11:42,810 --> 00:11:45,978
Dad, mom wants to talk to you.
313
00:11:46,046 --> 00:11:47,613
(MacKenzie) George.
314
00:11:47,681 --> 00:11:49,515
George, we need to talk.
315
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,583
I'm not here!
316
00:11:50,651 --> 00:11:54,520
I can see you!
317
00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:58,624
Harper, I need to talk to your dad alone.
318
00:11:58,692 --> 00:12:00,827
Thanks.
319
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:02,161
What is going on?
320
00:12:02,229 --> 00:12:03,596
Your mother is trying to get Harper
321
00:12:03,664 --> 00:12:05,765
to eat food that will upset his tummy.
322
00:12:05,833 --> 00:12:08,734
I don't want that
deranged woman near my son.
323
00:12:08,802 --> 00:12:10,136
[Chuckles] Okay.
324
00:12:10,204 --> 00:12:11,270
Hang on, Mac.
325
00:12:11,338 --> 00:12:12,672
Why don't you tell her yourself?
326
00:12:12,739 --> 00:12:14,440
Put the knife down.
327
00:12:14,508 --> 00:12:16,742
[Hushed] Put the knife down.
328
00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:21,681
[Knife clacks on counter]
329
00:12:21,748 --> 00:12:22,748
Alma.
330
00:12:22,816 --> 00:12:25,084
MacKenzie.
331
00:12:25,152 --> 00:12:26,986
How many times do I have to go over this?
332
00:12:27,054 --> 00:12:29,522
You have Harper's list of approved foods.
333
00:12:29,590 --> 00:12:31,724
Respect my child enough
not to feed him dairy.
334
00:12:31,792 --> 00:12:33,125
He is lactose-intolerant.
335
00:12:33,193 --> 00:12:36,162
[Speaking Spanish] Flaca!
336
00:12:36,230 --> 00:12:37,964
What did she say?
337
00:12:38,031 --> 00:12:39,398
She said she likes you
better with your hair up,
338
00:12:39,466 --> 00:12:43,870
that your neck is long,
but you pull it off.
339
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,037
That is not what she said.
340
00:12:45,105 --> 00:12:46,172
I know that tone.
341
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:47,807
That tone is... is very insulting
342
00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:49,375
and extremely demeaning.
343
00:12:49,443 --> 00:12:52,578
It's Spanish. That's how everything sounds!
344
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:54,213
I want her to apologize.
345
00:12:54,281 --> 00:12:55,982
My God, really?
346
00:12:56,049 --> 00:12:58,384
Mom, will you apologize to MacKenzie?
347
00:12:58,452 --> 00:13:00,386
Mom!
348
00:13:00,454 --> 00:13:03,389
Apologize to MacKenzie.
349
00:13:03,457 --> 00:13:07,026
Vamonos.
350
00:13:07,094 --> 00:13:08,527
I'm sorry.
351
00:13:08,595 --> 00:13:11,063
That is not an apology.
352
00:13:11,131 --> 00:13:12,531
Okay, wait a minute.
353
00:13:12,599 --> 00:13:14,033
What are you talking about?
She just told you she was sorry!
354
00:13:14,101 --> 00:13:15,301
She doesn't mean it. Look at her face!
355
00:13:15,369 --> 00:13:16,869
She didn't mean it.
356
00:13:16,937 --> 00:13:19,272
That's true, I don't mean it.
357
00:13:19,339 --> 00:13:20,473
I may be saying "sorry,"
358
00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:23,809
but in my head I'm thinking "whore."
359
00:13:23,877 --> 00:13:26,345
George, it is this kind
of obvious disregard
360
00:13:26,413 --> 00:13:29,015
for my opinion in this household...
361
00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:33,447
Don't ask me how you did it.
362
00:13:33,515 --> 00:13:35,583
Not a single one of you passed this test.
363
00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:36,750
It was really hard.
364
00:13:36,818 --> 00:13:37,785
- It was really hard.
- Yeah.
365
00:13:37,853 --> 00:13:39,220
Okay, yes, it's hard,
366
00:13:39,287 --> 00:13:41,088
but you make it harder
when you don't study.
367
00:13:41,156 --> 00:13:43,390
Look, I'm here to teach you guys.
368
00:13:43,458 --> 00:13:44,558
Well, apparently, you're
not doing a good job.
369
00:13:44,626 --> 00:13:45,993
We all failed.
370
00:13:46,061 --> 00:13:47,761
Well, you're smart,
because someone taught you
371
00:13:47,829 --> 00:13:51,532
the word "apparently."
372
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,033
I realize I'm new at this
373
00:13:53,101 --> 00:13:55,102
but, at one time, I was just like you.
374
00:13:55,170 --> 00:13:56,871
Skinny?
375
00:13:56,938 --> 00:13:59,173
I was a terrible student.
376
00:13:59,241 --> 00:14:01,242
I struggled, I had dyslexia,
377
00:14:01,309 --> 00:14:03,611
I hated school, so I dropped out.
378
00:14:03,678 --> 00:14:05,546
Seems you did all right
without an education.
379
00:14:05,614 --> 00:14:06,714
Yeah, you're rich.
380
00:14:06,781 --> 00:14:07,681
We looked you up on the Internet.
381
00:14:07,749 --> 00:14:09,416
[Speaking Spanish]
382
00:14:09,484 --> 00:14:11,785
[Speaking Spanish]
383
00:14:11,853 --> 00:14:13,087
(Both) Ah!
384
00:14:13,154 --> 00:14:15,122
(All) La energia!
385
00:14:15,190 --> 00:14:17,191
Okay, I'm successful
because I went back to school
386
00:14:17,259 --> 00:14:19,827
and got my G.E.D. like
you guys are trying to do.
387
00:14:19,895 --> 00:14:20,995
A teacher said to me,
388
00:14:21,062 --> 00:14:23,397
"you can be anything you
wanna be with an education."
389
00:14:23,465 --> 00:14:25,199
And no one had ever said that to me.
390
00:14:25,267 --> 00:14:27,101
So because of that
teacher, I went to college,
391
00:14:27,168 --> 00:14:28,702
and I built a business,
392
00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:30,671
and I worked my ass off seven days a week,
393
00:14:30,739 --> 00:14:32,873
14 hours a day, for ten years.
394
00:14:32,941 --> 00:14:34,108
And it paid off.
395
00:14:34,175 --> 00:14:35,676
So you're right... la energia!
396
00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,044
I love it!
397
00:14:37,112 --> 00:14:38,779
Every time somebody says it, I get $3.
398
00:14:38,847 --> 00:14:39,847
La energia!
399
00:14:39,915 --> 00:14:41,315
That's $6!
400
00:14:41,383 --> 00:14:45,352
But don't you have to
give half to your ex-wife?
401
00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:49,990
All right, that's $3.
402
00:14:50,058 --> 00:14:52,026
[Yelling] Tio, you ready?
403
00:14:52,093 --> 00:14:53,327
(Tio) All right, pull!
404
00:14:53,395 --> 00:14:54,361
Dad?
405
00:14:54,429 --> 00:14:55,829
Hang on, Harper.
406
00:14:55,897 --> 00:14:57,131
I'm in the middle of
something, I can't right now.
407
00:14:57,198 --> 00:14:58,332
But, dad, I...
408
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:02,536
Harper, in a minute!
409
00:15:02,604 --> 00:15:07,207
[Electrical sizzling]
410
00:15:07,275 --> 00:15:08,709
[Fizzles out]
411
00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:10,044
[Swishing]
412
00:15:10,111 --> 00:15:10,978
(Tio) Oh!
413
00:15:11,046 --> 00:15:12,079
All right...
414
00:15:12,147 --> 00:15:13,414
Big baby!
415
00:15:13,481 --> 00:15:15,616
Fixed. I hope you're happy!
416
00:15:15,684 --> 00:15:16,917
[Yelling] Where's your shirt?
417
00:15:16,985 --> 00:15:22,756
Burned off.
418
00:15:22,824 --> 00:15:24,858
Hey. Honey...
419
00:15:24,926 --> 00:15:26,193
What's wrong?
420
00:15:26,261 --> 00:15:28,062
I don't know.
421
00:15:28,129 --> 00:15:29,496
I don't feel so good.
422
00:15:29,564 --> 00:15:31,198
Are you getting sick?
423
00:15:31,266 --> 00:15:34,401
My stomach's gurgling. I think so.
424
00:15:34,469 --> 00:15:35,703
Well, what did you eat today?
425
00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:37,004
Nothing.
426
00:15:37,072 --> 00:15:38,105
Nothing?
427
00:15:38,173 --> 00:15:41,008
I think it was the smell.
428
00:15:41,076 --> 00:15:43,043
Your dad didn't feed you?
429
00:15:43,111 --> 00:15:45,279
Okay, go get your stuff.
430
00:15:45,347 --> 00:15:49,249
I'm taking you home.
431
00:15:49,317 --> 00:15:50,551
George.
432
00:15:50,619 --> 00:15:51,719
[Muttering in Spanish]
433
00:15:51,831 --> 00:15:54,867
[Singsongy] She's gonna punish you.
434
00:15:54,934 --> 00:15:57,269
You are really something, do you know that?
435
00:15:57,337 --> 00:15:58,671
Wait a minute, what did I do now?
436
00:15:58,738 --> 00:16:01,407
Do you even know that
your son has a stomachache?
437
00:16:01,474 --> 00:16:03,475
How? He didn't eat anything today!
438
00:16:03,543 --> 00:16:04,543
There's nothing in this whole house
439
00:16:04,611 --> 00:16:05,611
that you'll let him eat!
440
00:16:05,679 --> 00:16:07,746
Oh, hell.
441
00:16:07,814 --> 00:16:11,950
There's a bloody cow tongue
just laying in the sink.
442
00:16:12,018 --> 00:16:13,318
That's tomorrow's dinner.
443
00:16:13,386 --> 00:16:15,154
Yeah, well, Harper can't eat that, okay?
444
00:16:15,221 --> 00:16:16,188
He has a very sensitive system.
445
00:16:16,256 --> 00:16:18,524
You know he has borderline IBS.
446
00:16:18,591 --> 00:16:19,558
IBS?
447
00:16:19,626 --> 00:16:21,193
[Speaking Spanish]
448
00:16:21,261 --> 00:16:23,362
"Irritable Bowel Syndrome."
449
00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:24,396
Mom, chorro.
450
00:16:24,464 --> 00:16:26,231
[Grunts]
451
00:16:26,299 --> 00:16:27,399
Ah! Chorro.
452
00:16:27,467 --> 00:16:29,468
[Grunts]
453
00:16:29,536 --> 00:16:31,570
George!
454
00:16:31,638 --> 00:16:33,272
Can I talk to you in the living room?
455
00:16:33,339 --> 00:16:35,240
[Sighs]
456
00:16:35,308 --> 00:16:36,542
She got IBS too.
457
00:16:36,609 --> 00:16:38,010
"Irritable Bitch Syndrome."
458
00:16:38,078 --> 00:16:40,179
[Cackle-laughs]
459
00:16:40,246 --> 00:16:41,380
[Laughs]
460
00:16:41,448 --> 00:16:45,185
I don't know why you're
laughing. You're the carrier.
461
00:16:46,252 --> 00:16:47,886
Tongue, George?
462
00:16:47,954 --> 00:16:49,354
Tongue?
463
00:16:49,422 --> 00:16:51,323
Of course Mexicans would eat a meat
464
00:16:51,391 --> 00:16:54,226
that could taste you back.
465
00:16:54,294 --> 00:16:55,527
Okay, well, I'm sorry
466
00:16:55,595 --> 00:16:57,362
if we don't get our
nutritionally-balanced food
467
00:16:57,430 --> 00:17:00,299
delivered to our doorstep at
the beginning of each week.
468
00:17:00,366 --> 00:17:01,300
[Imitating her] Oh, my God! Monday!
469
00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:02,434
It's an egg-white omelet!
470
00:17:02,502 --> 00:17:03,469
What's for lunch?
471
00:17:03,536 --> 00:17:04,570
Yay! An almond.
472
00:17:04,637 --> 00:17:05,738
[Teeth chattering]
473
00:17:05,805 --> 00:17:07,706
You are such a pain in the ass.
474
00:17:07,774 --> 00:17:09,074
Yes, you know what?
475
00:17:09,142 --> 00:17:10,175
You've made that abundantly clear.
476
00:17:10,243 --> 00:17:11,376
Now if I'm such a pain in the ass,
477
00:17:11,444 --> 00:17:13,445
why did you marry me in the first place?
478
00:17:13,513 --> 00:17:15,681
I don't know, I thought you would change.
479
00:17:15,749 --> 00:17:19,017
From being a handsome
Mexican with exquisite taste?
480
00:17:19,085 --> 00:17:22,121
You eat tongue!
481
00:17:22,188 --> 00:17:23,622
You know, I didn't realize
being married to a Mexican
482
00:17:23,690 --> 00:17:25,624
meant "telenovas," chopped up bodies,
483
00:17:25,692 --> 00:17:27,359
and irritable bowel syndrome.
484
00:17:27,427 --> 00:17:30,362
Well, it was on our wedding invitation.
485
00:17:30,430 --> 00:17:32,664
Yo! Hey!
486
00:17:32,732 --> 00:17:34,366
Lady Mac!
487
00:17:34,434 --> 00:17:36,668
Hey, I don't care what Georgie says,
488
00:17:36,736 --> 00:17:39,138
you're still a fine-looking specimen!
489
00:17:39,205 --> 00:17:40,706
[Chuckles]
490
00:17:40,774 --> 00:17:43,408
Oh.
491
00:17:43,476 --> 00:17:45,511
You see, George?
492
00:17:45,578 --> 00:17:47,079
This is what I'm talking about.
493
00:17:47,147 --> 00:17:48,447
Every time my son comes over here,
494
00:17:48,515 --> 00:17:51,016
it's like he's crossed
the border into Tijuana.
495
00:17:51,084 --> 00:17:53,318
You've got tattooed shirtless
Mexicans running loose
496
00:17:53,386 --> 00:17:55,521
and bloody cow parts just
floating in your sink.
497
00:17:56,288 --> 00:17:58,290
I should have known better
than to leave him here
498
00:17:58,358 --> 00:17:59,691
and think you'd take care of him.
499
00:17:59,759 --> 00:18:01,627
Why did you even fight for custody?
500
00:18:01,694 --> 00:18:03,896
I fought for custody,
because he's my son too.
501
00:18:03,963 --> 00:18:05,197
Oh, that's precious.
502
00:18:05,265 --> 00:18:06,932
Because you find every excuse you can
503
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,167
to ignore your son.
504
00:18:08,234 --> 00:18:10,669
These days, it's teaching and playing golf.
505
00:18:10,737 --> 00:18:12,604
When we were married, it was work.
506
00:18:12,672 --> 00:18:15,007
- You always put Harper and me second.
- [Chuckles]
507
00:18:15,074 --> 00:18:16,608
Deep down inside, you know I'm right.
508
00:18:16,676 --> 00:18:18,010
Okay, well, you know,
509
00:18:18,077 --> 00:18:20,078
I don't think I have to go deep down.
510
00:18:20,146 --> 00:18:21,346
I know I wasn't there.
511
00:18:21,414 --> 00:18:22,648
But let me ask you something.
512
00:18:22,715 --> 00:18:24,082
You're trying to make me feel guilty
513
00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:25,584
for working hard, and it's
not gonna work, all right?
514
00:18:25,652 --> 00:18:28,020
I was a damn good provider.
515
00:18:28,087 --> 00:18:30,155
George, you worked all the time.
516
00:18:30,223 --> 00:18:33,058
Well, I had to work all the time
because you kept spending money.
517
00:18:33,126 --> 00:18:35,060
Purses and shoes and belts.
518
00:18:35,128 --> 00:18:37,396
I spent money to get your attention.
519
00:18:37,463 --> 00:18:40,833
All those purses, shoes, and
belts were a cry for help.
520
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:43,035
A cry for help?
521
00:18:43,102 --> 00:18:44,903
So all those alligators had to die
522
00:18:44,971 --> 00:18:47,272
because you were crying for help.
523
00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:49,341
All right.
524
00:18:49,409 --> 00:18:51,577
You were a good provider, but you think
525
00:18:51,644 --> 00:18:52,878
that's the same thing
as being a good father?
526
00:18:52,946 --> 00:18:54,079
It's not!
527
00:18:54,147 --> 00:18:55,881
Did you help Harper with his homework?
528
00:18:55,949 --> 00:18:57,249
Huh?
529
00:18:57,317 --> 00:18:59,384
Did you help him fill out
his application for soccer?
530
00:18:59,452 --> 00:19:01,386
You didn't even know he had a stomachache.
531
00:19:01,454 --> 00:19:04,723
You have got to be more
involved in your son's life.
532
00:19:04,791 --> 00:19:06,959
He is up there right now.
533
00:19:07,026 --> 00:19:09,428
But he is not always gonna be here.
534
00:19:09,495 --> 00:19:10,696
Because he's gonna grow up,
535
00:19:10,763 --> 00:19:12,764
and he's not gonna know his father.
536
00:19:12,832 --> 00:19:16,134
And you are gonna regret that.
537
00:19:16,202 --> 00:19:18,904
[Zippers rasp]
538
00:19:18,972 --> 00:19:22,407
- You know what?
- What?
539
00:19:24,577 --> 00:19:26,345
You're absolutely right.
540
00:19:26,412 --> 00:19:28,413
Hmm? I did not hear you.
541
00:19:28,481 --> 00:19:31,316
You heard me!
542
00:19:31,384 --> 00:19:34,386
You're right.
543
00:19:34,454 --> 00:19:36,622
I need to be his father.
544
00:19:36,689 --> 00:19:41,026
I'll make more of an effort to be a parent
545
00:19:41,094 --> 00:19:44,029
and to be more involved with my son.
546
00:19:44,097 --> 00:19:48,533
Hooper.
547
00:19:48,601 --> 00:19:50,135
Well, thank you.
548
00:19:50,203 --> 00:19:52,838
You know, if we're being honest there,
549
00:19:52,906 --> 00:19:55,674
candy land...
550
00:19:55,742 --> 00:19:57,175
I need to tell you something
I probably should have told you
551
00:19:57,243 --> 00:19:58,310
a long time ago.
552
00:19:58,378 --> 00:20:01,980
Well, okay.
553
00:20:02,048 --> 00:20:04,016
When you shave your legs...
554
00:20:04,083 --> 00:20:05,884
you miss a part on the back
555
00:20:05,952 --> 00:20:07,519
and that hair's about that long,
556
00:20:07,587 --> 00:20:08,520
and it's nasty!
557
00:20:08,588 --> 00:20:10,022
[Laughs]
558
00:20:10,089 --> 00:20:12,057
[Electrical sizzling]
559
00:20:12,125 --> 00:20:14,192
What's that?
560
00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:16,595
Da, da-da
561
00:20:16,663 --> 00:20:18,864
Hey, don't tell me how I did it, okay?
562
00:20:18,932 --> 00:20:23,168
But you're the only house
on the block with power.
563
00:20:23,236 --> 00:20:28,206
Where is your shirt?
564
00:20:28,274 --> 00:20:31,276
It burned off.
565
00:20:35,315 --> 00:20:36,982
There you are.
566
00:20:37,050 --> 00:20:38,617
Your mom's looking for
you to take you home.
567
00:20:38,685 --> 00:20:39,851
How are you feeling?
568
00:20:39,919 --> 00:20:41,219
- Better.
- Mm-hmm.
569
00:20:41,287 --> 00:20:42,621
Listen, Harper.
570
00:20:42,689 --> 00:20:45,390
I know sometimes I haven't been the best...
571
00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:49,394
Yeah, dad, I know.
572
00:20:49,462 --> 00:20:52,631
You know, Harper, you don't know.
573
00:20:53,289 --> 00:20:54,456
I've always had a hard time...
574
00:20:54,534 --> 00:20:56,568
Dad, we're cool.
575
00:20:56,636 --> 00:20:58,370
Really?
576
00:20:58,438 --> 00:21:01,606
Really.
577
00:21:01,674 --> 00:21:03,041
Hey, do you know
578
00:21:03,109 --> 00:21:06,678
we're the only house
on the block with power?
579
00:21:06,746 --> 00:21:08,513
Well, Harper, let that be a lesson to you.
580
00:21:08,581 --> 00:21:11,850
Always hire family.
581
00:21:11,918 --> 00:21:15,087
Look at the craftsmanship on those wires.
582
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:25,088
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
583
00:21:25,138 --> 00:21:29,688
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