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1
00:00:02,045 --> 00:00:03,765
Hey
Hey, Oh it's good , you're home.
2
00:00:03,965 --> 00:00:06,165
Listen, I was talkin' to some...
Oh whoa, whoa,, whoa.
3
00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:08,359
I just walked in the door
4
00:00:08,613 --> 00:00:11,313
If we're gonna talk,
I gotta get a can of listening juice.
5
00:00:19,969 --> 00:00:22,437
Hey.
Hi.
6
00:00:22,438 --> 00:00:24,739
Okay, so I was talking
to the girls at work...
7
00:00:24,740 --> 00:00:26,740
Oh, here we go.
What?
8
00:00:26,741 --> 00:00:28,266
No good ever comes
from that.
9
00:00:28,267 --> 00:00:30,457
It's never, "you know, I was
talking to the girls at work,
10
00:00:30,458 --> 00:00:34,046
And they told me that
I'm not servicing you enough."
11
00:00:36,129 --> 00:00:39,151
[laughing] all right,
here's the thing.
12
00:00:39,152 --> 00:00:41,561
A while ago,
jane and her husband decided
13
00:00:41,562 --> 00:00:42,716
That they would go find--
14
00:00:42,717 --> 00:00:44,054
Is jane that one
who looks like pete rose?
15
00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:46,722
No.
That's bethany.
16
00:00:46,723 --> 00:00:48,158
And she--she does not look
like pete rose.
17
00:00:48,237 --> 00:00:49,402
Well, let's just crack open
18
00:00:49,403 --> 00:00:53,213
The old baseball
encyclopedia here.
19
00:00:53,214 --> 00:00:55,065
All right, maybe a little.
20
00:00:55,066 --> 00:00:56,887
Look, here's the thing--
jane and her husband
21
00:00:56,888 --> 00:00:58,099
Went to couples therapy,
22
00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,310
And they found it
really helpful.
23
00:00:59,311 --> 00:01:01,164
She loved the therapist
they used,
24
00:01:01,165 --> 00:01:03,150
And I--and I think
it's something we should do.
25
00:01:03,151 --> 00:01:05,333
Why? Our marriage
practically runs itself.
26
00:01:05,334 --> 00:01:07,383
And plus, you're not chunky
like jane,
27
00:01:07,384 --> 00:01:09,199
So why do we need
a therapist?
28
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,407
Wow.
29
00:01:10,408 --> 00:01:14,169
Rough day
for the work friends.
30
00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:16,083
I just think
we're both so busy at work,
31
00:01:16,084 --> 00:01:17,490
We never have time to talk,
32
00:01:17,491 --> 00:01:19,642
And--and now we're going through
all this fertility stuff.
33
00:01:19,643 --> 00:01:21,083
You know how I feel
about therapy.
34
00:01:21,084 --> 00:01:22,556
Why deal with stuff
when you can just
35
00:01:22,557 --> 00:01:26,618
Push it down inside
and go on with your life?
36
00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:29,230
[chuckles]
well, that's great.
37
00:01:29,231 --> 00:01:31,680
But as a backup plan,
it might be nice
38
00:01:31,681 --> 00:01:34,224
To have an hour every week
where we can connect
39
00:01:34,225 --> 00:01:35,563
And focus on our relationship.
40
00:01:35,564 --> 00:01:36,773
Here's the guy's card.
41
00:01:36,774 --> 00:01:39,755
I don't know.
Do we really need to pay a guy
42
00:01:39,756 --> 00:01:42,399
To tell you
how lucky you are?
43
00:01:43,942 --> 00:01:45,517
Well, no one's doing it
for free.
44
00:01:45,527 --> 00:01:47,827
45
00:01:47,927 --> 00:01:53,583
♪ how many ways to say
I love you? ♪
46
00:01:53,584 --> 00:01:58,136
♪ how many ways to say
that I'm not scared? ♪
47
00:01:58,137 --> 00:02:00,747
♪ with you by my side ♪
48
00:02:00,748 --> 00:02:03,291
♪ there is no denying ♪
49
00:02:03,292 --> 00:02:07,541
♪ I can't wait
for me and you ♪
50
00:02:07,551 --> 00:02:12,451
51
00:02:19,711 --> 00:02:22,148
[sighs]
hi, hon.
52
00:02:23,532 --> 00:02:26,069
Whoa, nice gel-met.
53
00:02:27,682 --> 00:02:28,687
Thanks.
54
00:02:28,904 --> 00:02:31,241
No, I wasn't--
never mind.
55
00:02:31,242 --> 00:02:33,177
How much product
are you using?
56
00:02:33,178 --> 00:02:34,546
What enrique said--
57
00:02:34,547 --> 00:02:38,216
"little dab, size of a peach."
58
00:02:38,217 --> 00:02:40,718
I'm pretty sure he said,
"size of a pea."
59
00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:42,720
Oh, well, that's good,
60
00:02:42,721 --> 00:02:45,124
Because I've been going through
a tube a day.
61
00:02:45,125 --> 00:02:46,426
Yeah, you may want to shower
62
00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:47,760
Before the photographer's
tonight.
63
00:02:47,761 --> 00:02:49,428
Oh, honey,
do we have to do that?
64
00:02:49,429 --> 00:02:50,662
Yes.
It's nice that my mom
65
00:02:50,663 --> 00:02:52,563
Wants to put our engagement
in the newspaper.
66
00:02:52,564 --> 00:02:53,864
I know, but why do we need
a new picture?
67
00:02:53,865 --> 00:02:55,365
I mean, can't we just send
the one we already have?
68
00:02:55,366 --> 00:02:57,565
I'd rather not.
Why?
69
00:02:57,566 --> 00:02:59,967
Look, honey, it's just that in
all the pictures that we have,
70
00:02:59,968 --> 00:03:02,036
You tend to look...
71
00:03:02,037 --> 00:03:03,804
You know...
72
00:03:03,805 --> 00:03:06,172
Super gay.
73
00:03:06,173 --> 00:03:07,806
What are you talking about?
74
00:03:07,807 --> 00:03:09,341
Well, you know how some people
are photogenic?
75
00:03:09,342 --> 00:03:12,110
You're kind of "homogenic."
76
00:03:12,111 --> 00:03:13,244
"homogenic"?
77
00:03:13,245 --> 00:03:15,112
You tend to look gay
in pictures.
78
00:03:15,113 --> 00:03:16,747
What?
I do not.
79
00:03:16,748 --> 00:03:19,416
Well, I mean, maybe in that one
from scotty's bachelor party,
80
00:03:19,417 --> 00:03:22,418
But I was just pretending to do
that 'cause he was passed out.
81
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,253
I mean, that's--
that's what you do.
82
00:03:24,254 --> 00:03:27,489
Look, maybe it's the way
you smile or how you pose,
83
00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:29,691
But I'd rather not have
everyone in my hometown
84
00:03:29,692 --> 00:03:32,294
Saying, "oh, look,
jen's marrying george michael."
85
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,195
That's ridiculous.
86
00:03:34,196 --> 00:03:36,764
Is it?
Mm-hmm.
87
00:03:36,765 --> 00:03:38,065
Look, here's me.
88
00:03:38,066 --> 00:03:39,766
Oh, and have you met
my friend adam?
89
00:03:39,767 --> 00:03:43,169
He bakes the best mini muffins
in all of sausalito.
90
00:03:43,170 --> 00:03:44,770
And this one.
91
00:03:44,771 --> 00:03:47,439
And...
92
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:48,840
Oh, my god!
93
00:03:48,841 --> 00:03:50,942
I told you
he was passed out!
94
00:03:50,943 --> 00:03:52,243
That's what you do.
95
00:03:56,881 --> 00:03:59,016
And in a way,
it was amazing
96
00:03:59,017 --> 00:04:01,418
To have had such
a new york experience
97
00:04:01,419 --> 00:04:02,752
My first night here.
98
00:04:02,753 --> 00:04:03,920
Mm.
99
00:04:03,921 --> 00:04:05,321
But we've cancelled
all her credit cards
100
00:04:05,322 --> 00:04:06,690
And recovered the purse
in a dumpster,
101
00:04:06,691 --> 00:04:08,792
So all's well
that ends well.
102
00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:10,927
Yeah, you got to watch it
in this town--
103
00:04:10,928 --> 00:04:12,895
A lot of dirtbags.
[knock at door]
104
00:04:12,896 --> 00:04:16,399
Hey, dirtbag.
What's going on?
105
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,168
Ah, mr. Rhodes, hello.
106
00:04:18,169 --> 00:04:20,770
My fiancee, suneetha, and I
were just telling mr. Dunbar
107
00:04:20,771 --> 00:04:22,104
About her first night
in new york city.
108
00:04:22,105 --> 00:04:23,805
Well, it's great
to finally meet you.
109
00:04:23,806 --> 00:04:25,007
Likewise.
110
00:04:25,008 --> 00:04:27,476
Anyway, after the brisk chase
through the park,
111
00:04:27,477 --> 00:04:29,944
We went back to my place,
where suneetha proceeded
112
00:04:29,945 --> 00:04:32,909
To tease me mercilessly
about how small my apartment is.
113
00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:34,208
Oh, and hot.
114
00:04:34,209 --> 00:04:36,243
By the way, my uncle jawahar's
restaurant called.
115
00:04:36,244 --> 00:04:38,111
They want their tandoor back.
116
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,613
[chuckles]
117
00:04:39,614 --> 00:04:41,014
That's great.
118
00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:43,850
I don't really get it,
but I love it.
119
00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:45,518
Anyway, if you could spare me
for the morning,
120
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,219
I promised suneetha to show her
more of the city.
121
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,555
Oh, you know what?
You go right ahead.
122
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,223
You crazy kids have fun.
123
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:53,792
I'm sure I can handle
my own phone today.
124
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,726
Well, it hasn't rung
since last Thursday, sir,
125
00:04:55,727 --> 00:04:57,328
So I'm sure
you'll be fine.
126
00:04:57,329 --> 00:05:00,465
In fact, yes,
it is still working.
127
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,332
Shall we?
128
00:05:02,333 --> 00:05:04,402
Yes. Good-bye,
mr. Dunbar and rhodes.
129
00:05:04,403 --> 00:05:06,737
Yes, have a nice time.
130
00:05:06,738 --> 00:05:10,174
[fakes crying]
131
00:05:10,175 --> 00:05:12,108
What are you doing?
I'm totally into her.
132
00:05:12,109 --> 00:05:13,777
Suneetha?
133
00:05:13,778 --> 00:05:15,912
Yeah.
I have feelings for her.
134
00:05:15,913 --> 00:05:18,781
What, in your little pants?
135
00:05:21,751 --> 00:05:23,151
No, higher.
136
00:05:23,152 --> 00:05:25,219
Oh, in your puppet vest.
137
00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:27,155
Stop it.
138
00:05:27,156 --> 00:05:28,889
From the moment I saw her
get off that plane,
139
00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:30,257
I can't get her
out of my mind.
140
00:05:30,258 --> 00:05:32,059
Okay, hey, russell,
you can't do anything.
141
00:05:32,060 --> 00:05:34,127
She's engaged to timmy.
Doi.
142
00:05:36,297 --> 00:05:38,764
You know I would never
cross that line.
143
00:05:38,765 --> 00:05:40,499
Oh, actually,
I don't think that's a thing
144
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:42,000
People know about you.
145
00:05:42,001 --> 00:05:44,803
So what are you gonna do?
146
00:05:44,804 --> 00:05:46,070
What can I do?
147
00:05:46,071 --> 00:05:48,072
I just have to sit here
and wallow in my own misery,
148
00:05:48,073 --> 00:05:52,109
Knowing that the one woman
I want I can't have.
149
00:05:52,110 --> 00:05:53,776
Oh...
150
00:05:55,679 --> 00:05:58,313
Hey, do I look gay
in these pictures?
151
00:06:04,185 --> 00:06:06,053
"couples therapist."
152
00:06:06,054 --> 00:06:07,555
All right, well,
let's see what you're all about,
153
00:06:07,556 --> 00:06:09,590
Dr. Amos greenblatt.
154
00:06:09,591 --> 00:06:11,525
[chuckles]
155
00:06:11,526 --> 00:06:14,361
Amos--that's close
to being funny.
156
00:06:14,362 --> 00:06:16,829
Hi, I'd like to cover
what I call
157
00:06:16,830 --> 00:06:19,332
My four pillars
of a successful marriage.
158
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:23,201
Pillar one--
sex, sex, sex.
159
00:06:23,202 --> 00:06:24,302
In any good marriage,
160
00:06:24,303 --> 00:06:26,538
The more physical intimacy,
the better.
161
00:06:26,539 --> 00:06:29,274
Right on, amos!
162
00:06:29,275 --> 00:06:32,343
Pillar two--
transition time.
163
00:06:32,344 --> 00:06:33,644
When you get home
from a long day,
164
00:06:33,645 --> 00:06:35,612
You need time to put
your feet up, have a drink.
165
00:06:35,613 --> 00:06:37,814
A spouse
should understand that.
166
00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,849
You'd think.
167
00:06:39,850 --> 00:06:42,751
Pillar three--
from zero to hero.
168
00:06:42,752 --> 00:06:44,519
Don't forget
to tell your spouse
169
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,921
How much you admire,
love, and respect them.
170
00:06:46,922 --> 00:06:49,490
It's no pillar one.
171
00:06:49,491 --> 00:06:51,992
And pillar four--
communication.
172
00:06:51,993 --> 00:06:54,794
Listening is a crucial part
of any relationship.
173
00:06:54,795 --> 00:06:56,763
Swing and a miss.
174
00:06:58,932 --> 00:07:02,001
But still...
175
00:07:02,002 --> 00:07:04,369
I am sold.
176
00:07:08,173 --> 00:07:10,141
So you want to see
the therapist?
177
00:07:10,142 --> 00:07:12,343
What changed your mind?
I realized you were right.
178
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:13,778
You know,
the guy's an expert,
179
00:07:13,779 --> 00:07:16,246
So whatever he says,
we should do...
180
00:07:16,247 --> 00:07:18,882
Even if one of us isn't
in the mood.
181
00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,218
Oh, I already ordered.
182
00:07:22,219 --> 00:07:24,054
I figured we'd split
a turkey sandwich and a b.L.T.
183
00:07:24,055 --> 00:07:25,655
Nice play.
I know what you like,
184
00:07:25,656 --> 00:07:28,258
But we still have to go
to therapy.
185
00:07:28,259 --> 00:07:29,525
I'm sorry, adam,
186
00:07:29,526 --> 00:07:31,327
But I don't think
it's just my opinion.
187
00:07:31,328 --> 00:07:33,530
Well, I've never heard it
from anyone else, so...
188
00:07:33,531 --> 00:07:35,298
Hey, let's ask jeff.
All right.
189
00:07:35,299 --> 00:07:37,567
Describe adam
in these pictures.
190
00:07:37,568 --> 00:07:41,499
Gay.
191
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:44,333
Gayer.
192
00:07:44,334 --> 00:07:46,769
Gayest.
193
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:50,171
Correction--gayest.
194
00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:53,774
[sighs]
195
00:07:53,775 --> 00:07:55,542
Oh, what's wrong?
196
00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:58,744
Growth hormones
not kicking in yet?
197
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:01,213
No, the doctor says
I'm making good progress.
198
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:04,016
It's just there's a woman
out there I want,
199
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,217
And I can't have her.
200
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:07,718
Oh, well, just try
a different escort service.
201
00:08:07,719 --> 00:08:12,187
I'm sure
she'll be 18 someday.
202
00:08:12,188 --> 00:08:14,755
You overinflated her,
and she popped?
203
00:08:16,224 --> 00:08:17,190
Anything?
204
00:08:17,191 --> 00:08:19,792
Uh...
[chuckles]
205
00:08:19,793 --> 00:08:21,693
Nothing.
206
00:08:21,694 --> 00:08:25,730
Poor little heart.
207
00:08:25,731 --> 00:08:28,132
I actually believe him.
208
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,935
You couples don't know
how lucky you have it.
209
00:08:29,936 --> 00:08:32,742
Look at you two...
Sharing sandwiches.
210
00:08:32,743 --> 00:08:35,077
It's like you're sharing
your souls.
211
00:08:35,078 --> 00:08:37,746
Hey, this new russell's
not working for me.
212
00:08:37,747 --> 00:08:39,147
You know what
the worst part is?
213
00:08:39,148 --> 00:08:40,715
Timmy asked me
to look after her
214
00:08:40,716 --> 00:08:42,250
And take her around today,
'cause he's busy.
215
00:08:42,251 --> 00:08:44,185
Actually, getting to know her
might solve your problem.
216
00:08:44,186 --> 00:08:45,819
How is that?
'cause you never like a woman
217
00:08:45,820 --> 00:08:47,020
Once you've gotten
to know her.
218
00:08:47,021 --> 00:08:48,188
Yeah, you're russell.
219
00:08:48,189 --> 00:08:49,489
You don't have feelings
for women.
220
00:08:49,490 --> 00:08:51,190
Yeah, man,
you just, like, use them.
221
00:08:51,191 --> 00:08:53,024
Yeah, you strip them
of their clothes,
222
00:08:53,025 --> 00:08:54,993
Their dignity,
and their self-esteem.
223
00:08:54,994 --> 00:08:56,928
You know, after five minutes
you'll be off her
224
00:08:56,929 --> 00:08:58,929
And back on the skank train.
225
00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:00,130
All: Yeah.
226
00:09:00,131 --> 00:09:02,231
Thanks, guys.
I hope you're right.
227
00:09:02,232 --> 00:09:05,668
All aboard the skank train.
228
00:09:05,669 --> 00:09:08,271
[dejectedly]
whoo-whoo.
229
00:09:16,863 --> 00:09:18,797
So, audrey, jeff,
230
00:09:18,798 --> 00:09:22,099
Why don't we start
with why you came in to see me.
231
00:09:22,100 --> 00:09:23,567
Well, doctor, I'd say--
232
00:09:23,568 --> 00:09:25,269
If I could just jump in here
for a second.
233
00:09:25,622 --> 00:09:27,556
I think that it would be better
if you talk.
234
00:09:27,557 --> 00:09:29,391
Maybe you could tell us
how we could achieve
235
00:09:29,392 --> 00:09:31,159
A more successful marriage.
236
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:32,193
Well, that's difficult,
237
00:09:32,194 --> 00:09:33,561
Because I don't really
know you yet.
238
00:09:33,562 --> 00:09:36,931
Hey, there, jeff bingham.
239
00:09:36,932 --> 00:09:40,000
Looking for a more
successful marriage.
240
00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:41,368
What are you doing?
241
00:09:41,369 --> 00:09:43,370
Trying to get the doctor
to, you know,
242
00:09:43,371 --> 00:09:44,671
Just boil it down for us.
243
00:09:44,672 --> 00:09:47,173
Well, jeff,
I don't give my opinion
244
00:09:47,174 --> 00:09:48,941
Until I've spent
a couple of sessions
245
00:09:48,942 --> 00:09:50,842
Finding out what some
of your issues are.
246
00:09:50,843 --> 00:09:52,177
Well, let's fast-forward now.
247
00:09:52,178 --> 00:09:56,847
This is our third session,
and you know our issues.
248
00:09:56,848 --> 00:09:59,150
Go.
249
00:09:59,151 --> 00:10:01,384
Jeff, this isn't
the lightning round
250
00:10:01,385 --> 00:10:03,086
Of a game show.
251
00:10:03,087 --> 00:10:04,821
Uh--uh, I'm sorry.
252
00:10:04,822 --> 00:10:07,323
My--my husband's not
a big fan of therapy...
253
00:10:07,324 --> 00:10:10,092
Or acting like
a regular person.
254
00:10:10,093 --> 00:10:12,727
Ooh, hear the sarcasm.
255
00:10:12,728 --> 00:10:14,394
It's clear, isn't it,
256
00:10:14,395 --> 00:10:16,596
That our marriage is
on a shaky foundation.
257
00:10:16,597 --> 00:10:18,565
We're not
on a shaky foundation.
258
00:10:18,566 --> 00:10:19,599
See that, doc?
See, I'll say one thing,
259
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,136
And then she'll say
the opposite.
260
00:10:22,137 --> 00:10:24,237
How can we salvage this...
261
00:10:24,238 --> 00:10:27,774
Starting tonight?
262
00:10:28,675 --> 00:10:29,942
Oh, hey, tim.
You busy?
263
00:10:29,943 --> 00:10:32,678
Quite so, mr. Rhodes.
Oh, this will be quick.
264
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:35,380
I need you to take
a picture of me.
265
00:10:35,381 --> 00:10:36,714
Well, so long
as it's work-related
266
00:10:36,715 --> 00:10:40,217
And personally enriching.
267
00:10:40,218 --> 00:10:42,352
[clears throat]
uh, wait.
268
00:10:44,588 --> 00:10:46,789
[exhales sharply]
269
00:10:51,994 --> 00:10:54,295
Oh, here we go.
270
00:10:57,298 --> 00:10:59,232
I'm not quite sure
what's happening here, sir.
271
00:10:59,233 --> 00:11:02,135
I'm--I'm just--I'm trying
to find a good pose.
272
00:11:02,136 --> 00:11:03,669
It's not going well, sir.
273
00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:07,305
Look, I'm not sure
what to do.
274
00:11:07,306 --> 00:11:09,374
Jen thinks I look gay
in pictures.
275
00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:10,909
Well, you don't in person,
mr. Rhodes,
276
00:11:10,910 --> 00:11:12,110
So I can't imagine--
277
00:11:12,111 --> 00:11:14,078
Oh, yes.
Now I can imagine it.
278
00:11:14,079 --> 00:11:17,047
Um, maybe just lean
on the desk.
279
00:11:17,048 --> 00:11:18,582
Okay.
Try to seem natural.
280
00:11:18,583 --> 00:11:20,483
Okay.
281
00:11:20,484 --> 00:11:21,918
Okay.
282
00:11:21,919 --> 00:11:24,720
Now, I'm seeing nothing
that's not entirely hetero.
283
00:11:24,721 --> 00:11:26,221
So hold it, and...
[camera beeps]
284
00:11:26,222 --> 00:11:28,089
How the hell does that happen?
285
00:11:28,090 --> 00:11:31,692
I know.
It's weird, right?
286
00:11:31,693 --> 00:11:34,828
Yes. It's like
straight, straight,
287
00:11:34,829 --> 00:11:38,831
Straight, straight, straight--
hello, judy.
288
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:46,004
So india...
289
00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:48,006
[chuckles]
what's that like?
290
00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:51,242
Well, it's hot, chaotic,
291
00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:53,444
Overcrowded, squalid.
292
00:11:53,445 --> 00:11:55,445
At least you have
great indian food.
293
00:11:55,446 --> 00:11:57,781
Yes, but we just
call it food.
294
00:11:57,782 --> 00:12:00,250
[chuckles]
that's great.
295
00:12:00,251 --> 00:12:02,418
Good sense of humor too.
296
00:12:02,419 --> 00:12:04,453
That doesn't help me.
297
00:12:04,454 --> 00:12:08,323
So tell me, russell,
why have you never married?
298
00:12:08,324 --> 00:12:09,924
What?
299
00:12:09,925 --> 00:12:12,159
Well, timmy tells me
you enjoy the company of women,
300
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,194
But only
on a short-term basis.
301
00:12:14,195 --> 00:12:15,596
So you think
I'm a total sleaze?
302
00:12:15,597 --> 00:12:17,731
Absolutely not.
303
00:12:17,732 --> 00:12:19,465
I would never judge you.
304
00:12:19,466 --> 00:12:22,168
Ah, of course you wouldn't.
305
00:12:22,169 --> 00:12:25,837
I guess I'm just never meant
to settle down.
306
00:12:25,838 --> 00:12:28,506
Well, as it's been said,
307
00:12:28,507 --> 00:12:32,609
Love, like a river,
will cut a new path
308
00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:36,245
Whenever it meets
an obstacle.
309
00:12:37,781 --> 00:12:40,715
There are so many choices.
310
00:12:42,017 --> 00:12:44,184
Hey, would you like
to split two sandwiches
311
00:12:44,185 --> 00:12:45,251
And each have half?
312
00:12:45,252 --> 00:12:48,688
Oh, forever and ever
I would.
313
00:12:48,689 --> 00:12:51,022
Or soup, you know.
Everything's good here.
314
00:12:52,558 --> 00:12:53,624
[laughs]
315
00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:54,992
Mr. Rhodes,
I really must go.
316
00:12:54,993 --> 00:12:58,028
Timmy--
timmy, please, please.
317
00:12:58,029 --> 00:12:59,729
Look, I need to be able
to take a straight picture.
318
00:12:59,730 --> 00:13:00,764
Please.
319
00:13:00,765 --> 00:13:02,632
Well, sir, maybe
you just look too happy.
320
00:13:02,633 --> 00:13:04,367
Why not try thinking
a sad thought like,
321
00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:06,735
Oh, I don't know, your boyfriend
just broke up with you?
322
00:13:06,736 --> 00:13:08,636
Yeah, ha ha, very funny.
323
00:13:08,637 --> 00:13:11,905
And if I had a boyfriend,
I'd break up with him.
324
00:13:11,906 --> 00:13:15,242
I feel we're heading
in the wrong direction, sir.
325
00:13:15,243 --> 00:13:16,376
Come on, look, timmy,
326
00:13:16,377 --> 00:13:17,844
This is gonna be
in a newspaper
327
00:13:17,845 --> 00:13:19,446
That a lot of people
are gonna see,
328
00:13:19,447 --> 00:13:21,981
So...
All right, one last try.
329
00:13:21,982 --> 00:13:23,015
Okay.
Thank you.
330
00:13:23,016 --> 00:13:25,484
Just stand there.
331
00:13:25,485 --> 00:13:27,886
Um, those arms go here.
332
00:13:29,121 --> 00:13:31,622
[camera beeps]
hold.
333
00:13:31,623 --> 00:13:33,657
Much better.
There you go, sir.
334
00:13:33,658 --> 00:13:35,892
Good night.
335
00:13:35,893 --> 00:13:37,960
And it's like, you know,
on the one hand,
336
00:13:37,961 --> 00:13:39,662
This isn't how I envisioned
having a baby.
337
00:13:39,663 --> 00:13:40,696
[jeff kicking table]
338
00:13:40,697 --> 00:13:42,664
But on the other hand,
it's great
339
00:13:42,665 --> 00:13:44,365
That medical technology
in the last--
340
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,267
[continues kicking table]
341
00:13:46,268 --> 00:13:48,636
Hey, tappy...
[sighs]
342
00:13:48,637 --> 00:13:52,005
Do you mind?
Sorry.
343
00:13:52,006 --> 00:13:53,640
Doc, you were saying...
344
00:13:53,641 --> 00:13:56,075
No, he wasn't saying.
I was saying--
345
00:13:56,076 --> 00:13:59,311
Yes, but I can hear you
anytime, so let's...
346
00:13:59,312 --> 00:14:01,146
Let's listen to the expert.
347
00:14:01,147 --> 00:14:03,848
Jeff, I've noticed you're
very dismissive of audrey.
348
00:14:03,849 --> 00:14:04,983
Why do you think that is?
349
00:14:04,984 --> 00:14:06,918
Hey, buddy,
I just called you an expert.
350
00:14:06,919 --> 00:14:08,285
Hook me up.
351
00:14:08,286 --> 00:14:09,753
To what?
352
00:14:09,754 --> 00:14:11,588
What is it
you're looking for, jeff?
353
00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:15,258
Pillars!
[clears throat]
354
00:14:15,259 --> 00:14:17,760
Did--did you say something?
No. Mm-mm.
355
00:14:17,761 --> 00:14:19,895
[coughing]
more sex.
356
00:14:19,896 --> 00:14:22,230
Hold on, are you referring
to my four pillars
357
00:14:22,231 --> 00:14:25,299
Of a successful marriage?
Oh, there you go!
358
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:26,634
Jeff, what--
what is happening?
359
00:14:26,635 --> 00:14:29,403
Tell me what is happening,
right now!
360
00:14:29,404 --> 00:14:30,871
Oh, fine, all right,
I'll tell you.
361
00:14:30,872 --> 00:14:32,806
I saw this clown on the internet
banging his gums
362
00:14:32,807 --> 00:14:35,141
About how couples should be
having sex all the time.
363
00:14:35,142 --> 00:14:37,510
But we've been here
for 40 minutes,
364
00:14:37,511 --> 00:14:39,111
And absolutely nothing.
365
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:41,680
So that's the only reason
you wanted to come here?
366
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:42,947
No.
367
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:45,249
You thought he would tell me
to give you more sex?
368
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:46,784
No, no, no,
there's also something
369
00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:49,186
About you leaving me alone
after work.
370
00:14:49,187 --> 00:14:51,021
Oh, well,
you don't have to worry
371
00:14:51,022 --> 00:14:52,789
About me leaving you alone.
372
00:14:52,790 --> 00:14:55,558
I-I-I'm sorry
to have wasted your time.
373
00:14:55,559 --> 00:15:00,095
[sighing]
374
00:15:00,096 --> 00:15:02,464
Not cool, amos.
375
00:15:06,501 --> 00:15:10,437
[dishes clattering]
376
00:15:10,438 --> 00:15:13,006
Are you still mad
about the therapy thing?
377
00:15:13,007 --> 00:15:17,009
Still mad?
It happened ten minutes ago!
378
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,078
I know I say this a lot,
379
00:15:20,079 --> 00:15:22,414
But I have never been
so humiliated.
380
00:15:22,415 --> 00:15:24,315
Come on, what about
that time I got drunk
381
00:15:24,316 --> 00:15:26,084
And I mooned your boss?
382
00:15:26,085 --> 00:15:29,186
Really?
That's your strategy?
383
00:15:29,187 --> 00:15:31,488
Trying to remind me
how low the bar is?
384
00:15:31,489 --> 00:15:34,023
I didn't want to go to therapy
in the first place.
385
00:15:34,024 --> 00:15:35,558
I told you,
we don't have any problems.
386
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:37,927
Yeah, well,
maybe you don't, but I do.
387
00:15:37,928 --> 00:15:39,461
Like what?
388
00:15:39,462 --> 00:15:42,964
Like this whole
fertility process, that's what.
389
00:15:42,965 --> 00:15:45,800
I mean, how do you think
I feel getting poked and prodded
390
00:15:45,801 --> 00:15:47,801
Like I'm some kind
of lab animal?
391
00:15:47,802 --> 00:15:49,036
Having all those shots,
392
00:15:49,037 --> 00:15:51,638
Having my hormones monitored
all the time?
393
00:15:51,639 --> 00:15:53,773
I think they're
pretty high right now.
394
00:15:53,774 --> 00:15:55,941
Just forget it.
395
00:15:55,942 --> 00:15:57,843
[sighs]
396
00:15:57,844 --> 00:15:59,544
Look, I'm sorry
that you feel this way,
397
00:15:59,545 --> 00:16:01,546
But it's--it's not that great
for me either.
398
00:16:01,547 --> 00:16:04,048
Oh, please, you barely have
to do anything.
399
00:16:04,049 --> 00:16:06,549
Yes, exactly.
Exactly what?
400
00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:09,785
My only job is to lock myself
in the doctor's bathroom
401
00:16:09,786 --> 00:16:12,520
And rough up the suspect.
402
00:16:12,521 --> 00:16:14,222
Big deal.
403
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,290
For you, it's just
a change of venue.
404
00:16:16,291 --> 00:16:18,292
I'm not saying
that it's as tough for me
405
00:16:18,293 --> 00:16:19,660
As it is for you,
406
00:16:19,661 --> 00:16:21,728
But that's not exactly
how I pictured making a baby.
407
00:16:21,729 --> 00:16:24,297
You pictured it?
408
00:16:24,298 --> 00:16:26,132
Yeah, a lot. And you know
what wasn't in the picture?
409
00:16:26,133 --> 00:16:27,933
Uh, me alone, uh, with a cup
410
00:16:27,934 --> 00:16:32,337
And a stack
of seriously old magazines.
411
00:16:32,338 --> 00:16:34,705
They got one with
brigitte nielsen on the cover.
412
00:16:34,706 --> 00:16:36,407
But, uh, you know,
I powered through,
413
00:16:36,408 --> 00:16:40,143
Because, well, that's what
the great ones do.
414
00:16:42,446 --> 00:16:45,481
[sighs] so why didn't you ever
say anything?
415
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:46,749
Look, what am I gonna say?
416
00:16:46,750 --> 00:16:48,450
Uh, "hey, nurse, how about
a little more megan fox,
417
00:16:48,451 --> 00:16:50,418
A little less charlene tilton?"
418
00:16:50,419 --> 00:16:52,921
No, I mean
about how you feel.
419
00:16:52,922 --> 00:16:55,122
I-I don't want you
to feel excluded.
420
00:16:55,123 --> 00:16:56,890
I don't want you to feel
like a lab animal.
421
00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:57,924
This is my fault.
422
00:16:57,925 --> 00:16:59,526
It's because my swimmers
are slow.
423
00:16:59,527 --> 00:17:02,628
No, no.
I'm not blaming you.
424
00:17:02,629 --> 00:17:04,763
I just want us to be able to...
425
00:17:04,764 --> 00:17:06,932
Do this--
to communicate.
426
00:17:06,933 --> 00:17:10,902
Ironic--
that was the fourth pillar.
427
00:17:10,903 --> 00:17:13,270
Who knew that one
could ever matter?
428
00:17:13,271 --> 00:17:15,271
All right, look.
429
00:17:15,272 --> 00:17:18,474
How about, in the future,
we huddle up
430
00:17:18,475 --> 00:17:20,776
And make sure that
we're on the same page, okay?
431
00:17:20,777 --> 00:17:21,977
I'd like that.
432
00:17:21,978 --> 00:17:24,612
Hey, you want to hear
dr. Bingham's one pillar
433
00:17:24,613 --> 00:17:27,749
For a lust-filled 20 minutes?
434
00:17:30,619 --> 00:17:32,486
[knock at door]
435
00:17:34,455 --> 00:17:35,855
Hey, what's up?
436
00:17:35,856 --> 00:17:37,223
I just got a text
from russell.
437
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,125
The whole "losing interest
in suneetha" thing
438
00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,292
Totally backfired.
439
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:41,827
He's more into her than ever.
440
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:42,795
Really?
441
00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:45,964
Yeah, look.
Seven sad faces.
442
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,598
He is such a downer lately.
443
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:49,700
I know.
Can this wait 20 minutes?
444
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:51,935
You know, I can't believe
I'm saying this,
445
00:17:51,936 --> 00:17:54,438
But I wish we could get
the old russell back.
446
00:17:54,439 --> 00:17:55,739
Well, I'm sure
we can figure some--
447
00:17:55,740 --> 00:17:57,807
[coughs]
20 minutes.
448
00:17:57,808 --> 00:17:59,776
Do you really think
that only certain people
449
00:17:59,777 --> 00:18:01,243
Can hear what you're saying
when you do that?
450
00:18:01,244 --> 00:18:04,179
[coughs]
yes!
451
00:18:11,286 --> 00:18:13,721
I'm not at all happy
about this.
452
00:18:22,330 --> 00:18:24,364
It's not about you.
It's for russell.
453
00:18:24,365 --> 00:18:25,465
Now here he comes.
454
00:18:25,466 --> 00:18:28,135
[sighs deeply]
455
00:18:28,136 --> 00:18:29,135
Hey, you guys.
456
00:18:29,136 --> 00:18:31,868
Look.
It's your favorite shirt.
457
00:18:31,869 --> 00:18:33,734
What do you got--
I'm a zebra?
458
00:18:33,735 --> 00:18:35,436
Maybe the hamburglar?
459
00:18:35,437 --> 00:18:37,838
[imitating the hamburglar]
460
00:18:37,839 --> 00:18:39,539
Don't beat yourself up, jen.
461
00:18:39,540 --> 00:18:41,307
There's enough pain
in the world.
462
00:18:41,308 --> 00:18:43,776
Hey, hey, over here--
463
00:18:43,777 --> 00:18:47,814
Couple of douches,
that's right.
464
00:18:47,815 --> 00:18:48,781
Yeah, we're matching.
465
00:18:48,782 --> 00:18:50,082
As you should be.
466
00:18:50,083 --> 00:18:53,953
It's a fitting manifestation
of your shared love.
467
00:18:53,954 --> 00:18:55,287
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
468
00:18:55,288 --> 00:18:58,724
Check out these bad boys--
your two favorite targets, huh?
469
00:18:58,725 --> 00:19:01,727
Looks like a heart
turned upside down,
470
00:19:01,728 --> 00:19:04,229
Much like my own.
471
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,597
I'm gonna hit the restroom.
472
00:19:05,598 --> 00:19:09,367
Do you think heartache
washes off?
473
00:19:09,368 --> 00:19:12,703
Wow, he is far gone.
474
00:19:12,704 --> 00:19:14,338
Yeah, I know.
475
00:19:14,339 --> 00:19:17,340
Why don't you put those away?
476
00:19:17,341 --> 00:19:19,676
Hey, guys, what's up?
477
00:19:19,677 --> 00:19:20,877
Hey.
478
00:19:20,878 --> 00:19:22,978
You can take off the hat.
He's not biting.
479
00:19:22,979 --> 00:19:25,910
Who's not biting?
What are you talking about?
480
00:19:27,779 --> 00:19:30,814
Wait, you wore that hat
voluntarily?
481
00:19:32,616 --> 00:19:33,983
What's wrong with it?
I...
482
00:19:33,984 --> 00:19:36,918
Nothing.
483
00:19:36,919 --> 00:19:40,188
Hand me my nine iron,
bagger vance.
484
00:19:40,189 --> 00:19:41,756
[laughter]
485
00:19:41,757 --> 00:19:45,358
You look like a newsboy
from the depression.
486
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:50,029
Extr-y! Extr-y!
You're a tool.
487
00:19:50,030 --> 00:19:51,497
You know what?
488
00:19:51,498 --> 00:19:54,399
We might do all right
without russell.
489
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,968
[laughter]
490
00:20:02,996 --> 00:20:06,064
Adam, look what
my mom sent us.
491
00:20:06,065 --> 00:20:09,533
The future
mr. And mrs. Adam rhodes.
492
00:20:09,534 --> 00:20:11,168
All right.
Hey, we look good.
493
00:20:11,169 --> 00:20:13,136
Mm-hmm.
But more importantly,
494
00:20:13,137 --> 00:20:15,906
I look straight.
495
00:20:15,907 --> 00:20:17,374
Yeah, how'd you
pull that off?
496
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:18,745
I had jen punch me
in the stomach
497
00:20:18,746 --> 00:20:20,080
Before the guy snapped it.
498
00:20:20,081 --> 00:20:23,616
The second punch
he really wasn't expecting.
499
00:20:23,617 --> 00:20:26,418
Oh, god, adam...
500
00:20:26,419 --> 00:20:28,753
Look at the caption.
501
00:20:30,022 --> 00:20:34,724
"jennifer morgan to wed...
Madam rhodes"?
502
00:20:34,725 --> 00:20:37,059
No!
503
00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:40,094
No! They--they totally ruined
my hetero picture.
504
00:20:40,095 --> 00:20:41,595
At least
it's a small town.
505
00:20:41,596 --> 00:20:43,296
Not that many people
will see it.
506
00:20:43,297 --> 00:20:46,232
Oh, no, they've got
an online edition.
507
00:20:46,233 --> 00:20:49,968
Well, I got a busy night
ahead of me, so...
508
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