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1
00:00:10,031 --> 00:00:11,553
Nice robe, hef.
2
00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:15,238
Why'd you double lock the door?
3
00:00:16,701 --> 00:00:19,124
Well, I guess I just had
too much cash on me.
4
00:00:27,838 --> 00:00:30,171
Why, why can't I be more surprised?
5
00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:32,824
Guess who just sold his bitchin' camaro?
6
00:00:33,884 --> 00:00:37,189
The profit is currently preventing
you from seeing my hot bod.
7
00:00:39,755 --> 00:00:41,750
Why did you sell that car?
I thought you loved it.
8
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,835
The guy who bought it loved it more.
9
00:00:44,483 --> 00:00:47,631
- So how much did we make?
- Start pluckin' and find out.
10
00:00:49,809 --> 00:00:53,637
The dollar values increase as
you approach the target area.
11
00:00:57,616 --> 00:00:59,684
I'm gonna let you approach
your own target area.
12
00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:04,728
That's a far too familiar trip.
13
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,330
Anyways, we're up about 2,000.
14
00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:11,071
Well done. So what are
we gonna do with it?
15
00:01:11,589 --> 00:01:13,031
You know, besides, uh,
16
00:01:13,844 --> 00:01:15,127
shave it?
17
00:01:15,613 --> 00:01:18,140
Well, we're gonna put it
in the retirement fund.
18
00:01:18,307 --> 00:01:20,705
We're this much closer
to dying with a nice boat.
19
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:24,766
So now, let's do something
that may not be legal,
20
00:01:25,531 --> 00:01:27,183
but it's definitely tender.
21
00:01:32,906 --> 00:01:33,802
Hey, dad.
22
00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:36,578
Great, I'll just stand here like this.
23
00:01:37,993 --> 00:01:39,599
Oh, good, do you like it?
24
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,006
He's thanking us for the
new laptop we sent him.
25
00:01:42,173 --> 00:01:44,089
Oh, by the way, we
sent him a new laptop.
26
00:01:45,166 --> 00:01:46,166
Yeah, what...
27
00:01:46,985 --> 00:01:48,723
Well, it doesn't matter how much it cost.
28
00:01:49,993 --> 00:01:51,528
Dad, please don't return it.
29
00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,615
Well, you... you can do whatever you want.
30
00:01:56,233 --> 00:01:58,118
All right. Bye bye.
31
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:02,497
God, it was a gift. It's not
his business how much it cost.
32
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:04,207
How much did it cost?
33
00:02:05,974 --> 00:02:07,833
hard his whole life.
34
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,963
Can't they ever just enjoy their money?
35
00:02:10,367 --> 00:02:12,894
My mom can't use a tea bag
without wrapping it in foil
36
00:02:13,061 --> 00:02:14,913
and using it three more times.
37
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:17,441
Does that work?
38
00:02:19,891 --> 00:02:21,557
I mean, save some, sure.
39
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,144
But, gah, you gotta enjoy your life.
40
00:02:24,342 --> 00:02:26,145
I think it's just their
midwestern way of thinking.
41
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:29,417
There's nothing wrong with
appreciating the value of a dollar.
42
00:02:30,236 --> 00:02:32,511
Speaking of appreciating a dollar...
43
00:02:35,130 --> 00:02:36,239
You know what?
44
00:02:38,141 --> 00:02:40,493
We're not gonna put that
money away for our future.
45
00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:43,204
Okay, look, this is just reaction
to your dad, and it's not sensible.
46
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:46,583
That's the point. Let's just
not be sensible for once.
47
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,085
Let's spend it all on one fabulous,
48
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:50,795
- luxurious night.
- Audrey, finance is my business.
49
00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:54,757
I warn my clients against this
kind of thing all the time.
50
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,051
Against what? Enjoying their money?
51
00:02:57,301 --> 00:02:58,768
No, against listening to their wives.
52
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:01,681
Come on.
53
00:03:02,389 --> 00:03:03,892
That's the house's money.
54
00:03:04,550 --> 00:03:07,467
And I'm pretty sure the
house does not want it back.
55
00:03:08,929 --> 00:03:09,981
I don't know.
56
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:13,526
Oh, please? Just do this.
Just don't be like my father.
57
00:03:14,571 --> 00:03:16,518
All right, I won't be like your father.
58
00:03:16,685 --> 00:03:20,116
But that doesn't preclude me from
spanking you if you've been a bad girl.
59
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:24,913
3x12 "House Money"
60
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,555
Transcripted by chamallow35
www.Addic7ed.com
61
00:03:47,131 --> 00:03:48,571
You know what, I like it.
62
00:03:49,353 --> 00:03:52,941
I think it's a great idea to treat yourself to
a wild, crazy, expensive night once in a while.
63
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,526
It is. We deserve it.
64
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,275
You're bringing her?
65
00:03:58,276 --> 00:04:01,032
- Why?
- It was my idea.
66
00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:03,270
We're having a limo take
us to dinner at Soiree
67
00:04:03,437 --> 00:04:04,869
and then to a five-star hotel.
68
00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:07,404
Soiree, la-de-da.
69
00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:10,875
Jeff just went down there and
slipped the maitre d' some money.
70
00:04:12,436 --> 00:04:14,973
Yeah, they only say that they're booked
so that you gotta tip them to get in.
71
00:04:15,140 --> 00:04:16,497
That's how they get you.
72
00:04:16,664 --> 00:04:19,131
All right, none of that attitude
when we go out, please.
73
00:04:19,298 --> 00:04:21,733
- What attitude?
- Your attitude about money.
74
00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:24,630
You're always saying things
like "that's how they get you,"
75
00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:28,083
and "oh, don't fall for
the creme brulee scam."
76
00:04:30,658 --> 00:04:32,188
It's burnt pudding.
77
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:34,963
Well, I don't want to hear any
of that on our night out, please.
78
00:04:35,130 --> 00:04:36,776
You sound just like my dad.
79
00:04:37,139 --> 00:04:39,208
Why, am I begging you not to marry me?
80
00:04:40,425 --> 00:04:41,281
I can't believe
81
00:04:41,688 --> 00:04:42,926
you guys have a whole night planned,
82
00:04:43,093 --> 00:04:45,861
and I... the only actual fun person...
83
00:04:46,105 --> 00:04:47,370
has nothing to do.
84
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,151
Why, where's the rest
of the lollipop guild?
85
00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:53,969
- Hey, guys.
- What's up, guys?
86
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:56,468
- Hey, how was your checkup?
- All good.
87
00:04:56,635 --> 00:04:59,588
Yes, the doctor concurred with
the results of my breast exam.
88
00:05:00,930 --> 00:05:03,803
Congratulations on
marrying an eighth grader.
89
00:05:04,497 --> 00:05:08,433
By the way, Audrey, on the doctor's form, I
put you as my "in case of emergency" person.
90
00:05:08,893 --> 00:05:10,984
- Oh, no problem.
- Why would you do that?
91
00:05:11,593 --> 00:05:14,355
In case there's an emergency.
It's pretty self-explanatory.
92
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:18,549
But I'm gonna be your husband. I should
be your "in case of emergency" guy.
93
00:05:18,876 --> 00:05:21,311
Adam, I love you, and there are
so many things you are great at,
94
00:05:21,478 --> 00:05:23,646
but being responsible with your cell
phone is not one of those things.
95
00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,924
Okay, okay, you know what?
Starting right now,
96
00:05:26,091 --> 00:05:28,921
I'm gonna have my phone on
me and turned on at all times.
97
00:05:29,088 --> 00:05:31,664
In fact, what's this, huh?
98
00:05:32,439 --> 00:05:33,439
Your iPod.
99
00:05:41,585 --> 00:05:43,468
42 minutes past our reservation.
100
00:05:44,171 --> 00:05:46,220
Would you relax? We're not in a hurry.
101
00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:49,954
Yeah, well they only say that your table's not
ready so you have to wait at the bar and buy a drink.
102
00:05:50,121 --> 00:05:52,340
- That's how they...
- What, Jeff? That's how they what?
103
00:05:53,849 --> 00:05:56,689
That's how they pamper
you the way you deserve.
104
00:05:59,004 --> 00:06:00,004
Thank you.
105
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,970
Sir, ma'am, your table is ready.
106
00:06:02,639 --> 00:06:03,696
Well, we're not.
107
00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:06,407
It's the table's turn to wait.
108
00:06:07,957 --> 00:06:09,267
Sir?
109
00:06:09,741 --> 00:06:11,067
He's just kidding.
110
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,980
- I was just funnin' with ya.
Let me take care of this tab. - Uh, there's no charge for the drinks.
111
00:06:14,147 --> 00:06:16,167
We apologize for the wait.
112
00:06:16,538 --> 00:06:18,081
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah, thank you.
113
00:06:18,451 --> 00:06:21,214
Just out of curiosity, how far
away were we from another round?
114
00:06:23,543 --> 00:06:25,426
Now he's not kidding.
115
00:06:36,103 --> 00:06:37,855
What are you doing here
on a Saturday night?
116
00:06:38,516 --> 00:06:41,275
Well, to be honest, I'm pouting
because I have nothing to do.
117
00:06:41,525 --> 00:06:43,403
Well, maybe it's good to
have a little alone time.
118
00:06:43,848 --> 00:06:46,766
I already had two alone times
today before I got here.
119
00:06:49,297 --> 00:06:50,297
Check it out.
120
00:06:51,179 --> 00:06:53,287
Adam's cell phone. He
left it at the apartment
121
00:06:53,537 --> 00:06:55,581
after all that big talk
about being responsible.
122
00:06:56,011 --> 00:06:58,793
Oh, it doesn't sound like him.
Such an unhandsome thing to do.
123
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:01,265
Yeah, well, I guess he'll never
learn. Order me a coffee.
124
00:07:01,432 --> 00:07:02,432
Got ya.
125
00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:07,180
Oh, hey, can I get a,
uh... what'd she want?
126
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:09,303
Uh, just give me a piece of pie.
127
00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:12,518
Oh, hey, genius.
128
00:07:14,220 --> 00:07:16,086
I lost my cell phone.
129
00:07:16,852 --> 00:07:18,855
- No, actually...
- I'm pretty sure I left it in a taxi.
130
00:07:22,713 --> 00:07:23,901
You did?
131
00:07:24,644 --> 00:07:26,779
After you promised Jen?
132
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:31,367
- Wow, this is gonna be a huge problem.
- I know, I know, I know.
133
00:07:32,221 --> 00:07:33,744
She'll probably never let
me hear the end of this.
134
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,934
What to do, what to...
seriously, what to do?
135
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:42,258
Um, you know what, I have an idea. Why don't
you go outside to a pay phone, call your cell?
136
00:07:42,425 --> 00:07:44,901
Then if a cabbie finds it, he'll answer it.
137
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,884
And then I get it back before
Jen knows it's gone.
138
00:07:49,576 --> 00:07:51,137
Oh, uh, wait, why can't I
just use your cell phone?
139
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:54,795
You know what, I left it at home.
And it's so stupid of me.
140
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:58,061
Hey, don't feel bad. I do that too.
141
00:07:58,652 --> 00:08:00,332
Oh, I take great comfort in that.
142
00:08:01,756 --> 00:08:04,192
- Anyway, thanks for the idea.
- No, thank you, man.
143
00:08:09,149 --> 00:08:10,149
Thank you.
144
00:08:14,468 --> 00:08:17,622
- Wait, where's my coffee?
- Oh, wait, that's right.
145
00:08:18,077 --> 00:08:20,153
Uh, excuse me? Can I get a
scoop of ice cream on this?
146
00:08:22,963 --> 00:08:25,036
As a woman, I don't like
to hear this word,
147
00:08:25,203 --> 00:08:26,589
but I have to say, you're a douche.
148
00:08:27,946 --> 00:08:29,587
Well, you're gonna be thanking this
douche, because Adam was just here,
149
00:08:29,754 --> 00:08:33,554
and he thinks he left his cell phone in a
cab, so he went to a pay phone to call it.
150
00:08:34,131 --> 00:08:35,973
But he didn't leave it in a
cab. You have it there.
151
00:08:36,913 --> 00:08:39,936
Trust me. This sounds
weird, but you're gonna like it.
152
00:08:41,134 --> 00:08:44,148
I just got a flash of what it feels
like to be on a date with you.
153
00:08:48,501 --> 00:08:51,030
Yes, I found this phone in my cab.
154
00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,700
No, I didn't find a
little bag of licorice.
155
00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:59,934
No, listen, if you want the phone, go meet me
at the grease pit on West fourth and Horatio.
156
00:09:00,393 --> 00:09:02,422
My name, yes,
157
00:09:02,589 --> 00:09:04,339
it's pie-al lamodie.
158
00:09:06,824 --> 00:09:08,109
Okay, see you then.
159
00:09:09,033 --> 00:09:10,424
Pie-al lamodie?
160
00:09:10,674 --> 00:09:12,343
Didn't phase him at all.
161
00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:15,477
- So what's the grease pit?
- It's a big ol' lesbian bar.
162
00:09:17,107 --> 00:09:19,183
How do you know the
address of a lesbian bar?
163
00:09:20,974 --> 00:09:23,229
Sometimes it's just nice to be
the prettiest one in the room.
164
00:09:31,068 --> 00:09:32,197
Uh, yes, that's it.
165
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:34,748
That is the one my
husband mispronounced.
166
00:09:37,491 --> 00:09:40,121
That men's room is unbelievably nice.
167
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,583
I almost felt bad doing my business in it.
168
00:09:44,365 --> 00:09:47,378
Yeah, it's really great seeing you
actually enjoying yourself tonight.
169
00:09:47,981 --> 00:09:49,487
Well, when I was talking to Ricky,
170
00:09:49,654 --> 00:09:51,353
my hand towel caddie,
171
00:09:52,060 --> 00:09:54,969
I thought "Audrey's right, we do
deserve to live it up once in a while."
172
00:09:55,366 --> 00:09:56,528
That's the spirit.
173
00:09:57,221 --> 00:10:00,854
I mean, it's not just the food and the wine that
you're buying, it's the service, and how you're treated.
174
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,811
- It makes me feel like...
- Like a king?
175
00:10:04,301 --> 00:10:06,385
I was gonna say that monopoly guy.
176
00:10:07,833 --> 00:10:09,233
He's got that monocle,
177
00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:10,818
the top hat,
178
00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:12,605
the bags with the dollar signs on 'em.
179
00:10:13,266 --> 00:10:15,781
That fictional bastard knows how to live.
180
00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:21,760
I'm thirstier than that.
181
00:10:23,138 --> 00:10:24,529
That's a good one.
182
00:10:25,806 --> 00:10:28,252
Here you go. There's more
where that came from.
183
00:10:28,719 --> 00:10:31,052
Just don't ask where it came from.
184
00:10:34,678 --> 00:10:36,094
That'll play.
185
00:10:37,591 --> 00:10:39,472
Thank you again for doing this.
186
00:10:40,586 --> 00:10:44,185
Thank you for suggesting it. And you
really do look very pretty tonight.
187
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:46,865
To living the good life.
188
00:10:50,945 --> 00:10:51,859
- Hey, Jeff.
- Oh, Stewart.
189
00:10:52,582 --> 00:10:54,570
- You remember Audrey.
- Oh, my God.
190
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:57,490
Lac Rouge. I guess business is going well.
191
00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:00,863
I do all right. Thinking
about buying a monocle.
192
00:11:02,699 --> 00:11:04,330
Is it as complex as they say?
193
00:11:04,954 --> 00:11:06,983
You just have to hold it in your eye.
194
00:11:08,014 --> 00:11:09,168
I meant the wine.
195
00:11:09,929 --> 00:11:11,805
Oh, why don't you, uh, try for yourself?
196
00:11:12,875 --> 00:11:15,508
Excuse me. Can I get a glass
for my compadre here?
197
00:11:16,871 --> 00:11:17,677
Wow, thanks.
198
00:11:18,023 --> 00:11:21,138
Never tasted a $1,500
bottle of wine before.
199
00:11:21,388 --> 00:11:23,685
Hold a minute. What do you mean $1,500?
200
00:11:24,454 --> 00:11:26,435
That's what this bottle costs.
201
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,438
My wife and I were just looking at
the wine list and talking about it.
202
00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:30,856
Put it down.
203
00:11:33,351 --> 00:11:34,652
Put the glass down...
204
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:38,261
And walk away.
205
00:11:48,672 --> 00:11:51,711
It's not a misprint. The wine
you ordered was $1,500.
206
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:53,129
Not $150.
207
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,379
Let me see that.
208
00:11:54,739 --> 00:11:57,292
$150, $150...
209
00:11:58,896 --> 00:12:00,033
Oh, there it is.
210
00:12:00,598 --> 00:12:01,929
$1,500.
211
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:05,349
-Why didn't you bring
your reading glasses? - I didn't have time to grab them.
212
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:08,667
Oh, but you had plenty of time to
glue two grand to your naked body.
213
00:12:09,698 --> 00:12:11,272
$1,500?
214
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,190
All right, look, don't panic.
Let me just talk to this guy.
215
00:12:18,895 --> 00:12:20,974
Excuse me? This wine is not to our liking.
216
00:12:23,266 --> 00:12:26,048
But, sir, when you tasted
it, you assured me
217
00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:27,845
that it would "play."
218
00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:30,730
Right, but after that first taste,
219
00:12:31,203 --> 00:12:32,209
it turned.
220
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:35,671
I doubt that.
221
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:40,135
Wouldn't you agree that
in the life of every wine
222
00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:42,303
there's a moment when it turns?
223
00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:44,708
Worst Law & order ever.
224
00:12:45,863 --> 00:12:47,733
- May i?
- Please.
225
00:12:53,166 --> 00:12:55,232
The wine is fine, sir.
226
00:12:55,768 --> 00:12:58,903
Then I would like that sip taken
off of our bill. Right?
227
00:13:12,632 --> 00:13:15,659
Uh, hey, excuse me. Uh, I'm looking
for a guy named pie-al amodie.
228
00:13:16,510 --> 00:13:17,583
A guy?
229
00:13:18,083 --> 00:13:19,715
No, you're... you're the only guy in here.
230
00:13:20,129 --> 00:13:21,133
Really?
231
00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:23,615
What about him?
232
00:13:24,511 --> 00:13:25,526
Her.
233
00:13:27,592 --> 00:13:28,889
- You... you sure?
- Yeah.
234
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:32,019
So what is it... is it,
like, ladies' night?
235
00:13:33,317 --> 00:13:35,903
Yeah, every night is, like, ladies' night.
236
00:13:45,817 --> 00:13:47,268
Okay, this isn't the end of the world.
237
00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:49,370
I mean, our goal was to
only spend the house's money.
238
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,914
And so far, that's all we've
done. Let's just get the check.
239
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:55,251
You sure you don't want some dessert? I'd
be happy to take out a second mortgage.
240
00:13:56,718 --> 00:13:58,575
- Excuse me. Check, please.
- Right away.
241
00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:05,228
You using your calculator to figure
out what the tip is on infinity?
242
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:08,556
No, I'm canceling the hotel.
243
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,057
That's good thinking.
244
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:11,957
Yeah, you would have
ruined it for me anyway.
245
00:14:12,439 --> 00:14:14,311
- What are you talking about?
- Oh, come on.
246
00:14:14,780 --> 00:14:16,842
We'd have to pay for the
hotel with our money.
247
00:14:17,009 --> 00:14:19,650
You had a hard enough time enjoying
yourself when it was the house's money.
248
00:14:20,316 --> 00:14:21,444
Reservations, please.
249
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,013
- You're just like my dad.
- I am not like your dad.
250
00:14:25,061 --> 00:14:26,954
Oh, please. I'd say you were
two sides of the same coin,
251
00:14:27,121 --> 00:14:29,994
but I'm afraid you'd accuse me of
wasting that coin on a metaphor.
252
00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:33,747
- Yes, we need to cancel a
reservation for tonight. - Hang up.
253
00:14:34,157 --> 00:14:36,500
- What?
- We're not canceling. We're going to that hotel.
254
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:40,463
- You don't have to do
this to prove a point. - I'm not, I'm doing it
255
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,893
Come along if you think you can handle it.
256
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,970
Oh, I can handle it. We're on our way.
257
00:14:48,385 --> 00:14:50,014
I will be loving that hotel.
258
00:14:50,562 --> 00:14:51,849
Not as much as me.
259
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:53,851
- Oh, we'll see.
- Yes, we will see.
260
00:14:57,255 --> 00:14:58,606
Ah, okay. Not so bad.
261
00:15:04,018 --> 00:15:05,654
Well, see, he did take off that sip.
262
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:12,536
Come on, wait, wait wait.
263
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:14,872
Why are we bailing Adam out?
Let's screw with him some more.
264
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:17,166
No, your plan didn't work. He didn't call.
265
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,211
I know, but the dope probably
lost his dialing finger.
266
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,880
Look, he's been in there for
two hours. He's suffered enough.
267
00:15:30,176 --> 00:15:31,180
Oh, my God.
268
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:36,240
I got some bad news.
Your dude's gone lesbo.
269
00:15:41,079 --> 00:15:42,441
Russell! Jen!
270
00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:44,662
Wait, hold on. I'll be right down.
271
00:15:51,112 --> 00:15:53,619
What's he doing? All right,
ladies. One for four, not bad.
272
00:15:54,908 --> 00:15:56,247
What are you guys doing here?
273
00:15:57,469 --> 00:15:58,666
Uh, it was Russell's idea.
274
00:16:01,271 --> 00:16:03,587
Oh, so you pretended to be pie-al lamodie.
275
00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:07,383
Oh, I just got that.
276
00:16:08,537 --> 00:16:10,135
Yeah, I actually found your phone.
277
00:16:10,385 --> 00:16:13,764
- So what's the point of all this?
- We were trying to teach you a lesson about your phone.
278
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:16,267
- Come on, button up your
shirt, let's get out of here. - Now, see,
279
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:17,605
that's just a waste.
280
00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:20,896
Adam, you're not leaving, are you?
'Cause we got another round coming.
281
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,566
Why do they love you so much?
282
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:27,444
Well, because a while ago, Melanie here
started choking on some nuts...
283
00:16:27,694 --> 00:16:28,880
Ironic.
284
00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:30,906
Why is that ironic?
285
00:16:32,177 --> 00:16:33,541
'Cause it's not.
286
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:38,706
Anyway, I swung into action, dove across
the bar, and gave her the heimlich.
287
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,124
He saved her life.
288
00:16:41,865 --> 00:16:43,961
- Honey, that is impressive.
- Isn't it?
289
00:16:44,414 --> 00:16:47,006
There was an emergency,
and I came to the rescue.
290
00:16:48,136 --> 00:16:49,240
All right, I get it.
291
00:16:49,407 --> 00:16:51,969
You will be my "in case of
emergency" person from now on.
292
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:53,053
Thank you.
293
00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:55,512
And you may or may not regret it.
294
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:59,476
All right, well, let's get out of here. I
feel like a sausage in a vegetarian restaurant.
295
00:16:59,726 --> 00:17:02,479
Hey, Russell, this place is...
it's kinda fun. Come on, one drink.
296
00:17:03,178 --> 00:17:04,607
I guess we could have one.
297
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:05,857
All right, all right.
298
00:17:08,453 --> 00:17:10,180
Patty Miller, from college.
299
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:12,781
Remember spring break?
We shared that cabin?
300
00:17:16,091 --> 00:17:17,161
Hey, there.
301
00:17:18,176 --> 00:17:21,064
That's crazy. How 'bout that? Running
into someone you know here, that's...
302
00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:23,334
it's really good to see you.
303
00:17:23,952 --> 00:17:25,284
We gotta go.
304
00:17:26,276 --> 00:17:28,296
Wait, what'd you guys do in the cabin?
305
00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:31,532
Hi. Was there a jacuzzi?
Hey, was there a jacuzzi?
306
00:17:31,699 --> 00:17:33,989
Do you wanna reenact it? Don't leave.
307
00:17:37,968 --> 00:17:41,050
Oh, that champagne in the limo was tasty.
308
00:17:41,768 --> 00:17:44,688
Oh, yeah? Glad you liked it. 'Cause it
wasn't included. It's a lot extra.
309
00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:48,481
Oh, well then, it's a good thing you were
in the limo with me, instead of your dad.
310
00:17:49,538 --> 00:17:52,029
- May I help you?
- Reservation under "Bingham."
311
00:17:53,554 --> 00:17:56,575
Ah, yes, here we are. Should I put
the balance on the same credit card?
312
00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:58,744
Balance?
313
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:01,872
No, I thought I already paid for the
room. Uh, you paid a deposit of $350.
314
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:04,166
- That is half the price of the room.
- Half?
315
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,256
Is that a problem for you?
316
00:18:09,304 --> 00:18:11,285
I think that sounds like a fair price
317
00:18:11,627 --> 00:18:14,760
for an economy double with
obstructed view of the street.
318
00:18:15,170 --> 00:18:16,553
- Excellent.
- Wait a minute.
319
00:18:16,803 --> 00:18:18,979
- Oh, is that a problem for you?
- Sure is.
320
00:18:19,289 --> 00:18:22,810
I don't want an obstructed view. How
much for a room overlooking the park?
321
00:18:23,845 --> 00:18:24,920
Oh, sounds good to me.
322
00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:27,493
That is this one right here, sir.
323
00:18:28,446 --> 00:18:31,126
Are you saying that we should
settle for an obstructed view
324
00:18:31,293 --> 00:18:33,362
because we're only gonna
be here for 12 hours?
325
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:36,210
- Actually, our check-out time is...
- Nine hours?
326
00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:40,819
No, I was just noticing that
if we upgrade to the club level,
327
00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:42,579
we'll be able to enjoy a private butler.
328
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,534
Unless you think that's too much.
329
00:18:46,253 --> 00:18:48,085
Butler us.
330
00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:52,047
And may I arrange for some refreshments
to be sent up to your suite?
331
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:53,906
Sure, how 'bout some caviar?
332
00:18:54,073 --> 00:18:55,811
Great. And some lobster.
333
00:18:55,978 --> 00:18:58,142
- And an in-room massage.
- Ooh, and some flowers.
334
00:18:58,309 --> 00:19:00,514
- And a shoe shine.
- Actually, we have a complimentary shoe shine.
335
00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,458
Then I don't want it.
336
00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:03,935
Just more caviar.
337
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:05,178
All right, excellent.
338
00:19:05,852 --> 00:19:07,771
And Vincent will show you to your suite.
339
00:19:08,116 --> 00:19:09,116
Great.
340
00:19:10,944 --> 00:19:14,116
- I can't wait to see the view.
- I can't wait to shovel down some caviar.
341
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:16,245
- I am loving this.
- Not as much as me.
342
00:19:16,412 --> 00:19:19,446
- Club level, Vincent.
- No turning back now.
343
00:19:25,505 --> 00:19:26,915
- I can't do this!
- Oh, thank God.
344
00:19:34,970 --> 00:19:36,191
All right, tell me, honestly.
345
00:19:36,682 --> 00:19:39,094
If I hadn't stopped us, would
you have gone through with it?
346
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,597
- I would have gone all the way.
- Really?
347
00:19:42,497 --> 00:19:45,142
All the way to our suite, and then
I would have faked a heart attack.
348
00:19:48,259 --> 00:19:49,504
Oh, we have a message.
349
00:19:50,487 --> 00:19:52,006
Hey, sweetheart, it's your dad.
350
00:19:52,173 --> 00:19:55,027
Just wanted you to know we
returned that fancy computer
351
00:19:55,505 --> 00:19:58,280
and we'll be sending you the money back.
Okay, I'm approaching the end of my minute.
352
00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,604
Gotta go.
353
00:20:01,604 --> 00:20:02,706
Well, he returned it.
354
00:20:03,152 --> 00:20:04,248
No surprise there.
355
00:20:04,969 --> 00:20:06,622
Well, look. Your dad is a good man.
356
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,971
He and your mom sacrificed so
that you could have nice things,
357
00:20:10,138 --> 00:20:13,128
go to college, and meet me.
358
00:20:14,268 --> 00:20:15,268
I know.
359
00:20:15,950 --> 00:20:18,842
Part of the reason I love you is
because you're a little like him.
360
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:20,844
Maybe a little bit.
361
00:20:21,195 --> 00:20:24,598
And hey, since he returned the laptop,
we got another check coming our way.
362
00:20:26,555 --> 00:20:28,477
More house money. Maybe this time
we should put it somewhere safe.
363
00:20:28,818 --> 00:20:30,042
Agreed.
364
00:20:30,426 --> 00:20:32,466
I'll go get the glue stick.
365
00:20:32,516 --> 00:20:37,066
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