All language subtitles for Roseanne s08e24 Soul.eng

( harmonica wails )

Nurse on intercom:
paging Dr. Bender. Dr. Bender.

- oh my god.
- yeah yeah.

Well, he was awake
in the ambulance,

And they kept
checking his blood pressure

And giving him
oxygen and everything like that, you know?

But they thought
maybe he had--

He had a minor
heart attack.

They wouldn't say
anything more than that.

Is that bad?
I mean, that's gotta be bad.

No, that doesn't mean--
it's only been a couple of minutes.

They told you
he's gonna be all right, right?

I mean, at least
they told you that much.

No, they didn't tell me
anything.

It's weird, he's got
all these new guys

Starting on that
prison job next week.

That's okay,
because they'll just wait till he gets back.

No, I mean,
you know, what if--

The important thing is
that he's here and he's being taken care of.

This is a really
good hospital.

- where's the baby?
- Mark and Becky took andy and jerry back home.

I said that I would call
whenever we knew.

I wish they'd
tell me something, you know?

What kind of hospital
is this?

Can you guys
take a sit over there?

And i'm gonna
go get your mom something to drink.

All right, I know
that it's hard, Roseanne,

But we have to be patient
and be really positive.

I'm gonna be here
with you the whole time.

Do you want me
to take that stuff?

No.
I'm gonna hold on to this.

( theme music playing )

( Roseanne laughing )

Shouldn't this thing
be dripping faster?

No, that's how fast
it's supposed to drip.

I'll check back in
on him in a couple of hours.

We have to watch him closely
over the next 48 hours.

- why, what could happen?
- well, even though

It wasn't a massive coronary
and he's stable right now,

There still
could be some complications. It's too early to tell.

Really?

Hey,
good looking.

What--
what's going on?

Well, Darlene
got pregnant, you know?

And then David
married her, so we made out good there.

And we were
at the wedding

And then you had
this little--

Minor, little
tiny heart attack, blah blah blah.

And here
we are now.

Anyway, you wanna meet
the person who saved your life?

D.J.

It was amazing, Dan.
Everybody was all panicked, but d.J. Here,

He just starts
giving you c.P.R.

I learned it
on a dummy at school.

I couldn't believe it.
At first, when he throws himself on you,

I think he's gonna
go through your pockets or something.

You really did
that, son?

Yeah, it was really
great to see your eyes open up again.

I know for sure on my
16th birthday I get the car of my choice.

I'm really
proud of you.

Thanks, son.

- sure.
- here, now go tell everybody out there

That your dad's up
and that he's doing good.

A heart attack?

Yeah, a minor
heart attack.

( sighs )

Well, I remember getting
in the ambulance.

Yeah, that was
really cool, riding in that.

They let me
ring the siren.

- cool.
- yeah.

We went through
five or six red lights,

Ran over a couple
of people, a dog.

Double cool.

I always wanted
to ride in an ambulance.

I'm sorry
I missed it.

I thought your fantasy
was to ride

On a fire truck with--

What's her name?
Ursula andress.

Minor heart attack.

How minor could it be?
I mean,

Look at all the machines
i'm hooked up to.

If I was a car this
would cost 800 or 900 bucks.

Well, they said that
they only have to keep you

In the shop
just overnight.

And the good news is
they're giving me a loaner husband.

( foot tapping )

Yeah, he's gonna be
okay.

He's sitting up
already and he's in good spirits.

And it looks
like everything is gonna be fine.

But it's getting late.
There's really nothing you guys can do here.

So, you know, unless
one of you wants to go

And give a liver
to the guy in 308.

I really don't think
it's wise for this family

To be
giving away livers.

Yeah, well...

I'm gonna stay here
with him overnight.

I mean, he's okay
and everything, but...

Well, the room's paid
for, so what the hell.

Well, can
we see him?

No, you can see him later.
He's sleeping now.

Roseanne, whatever
you want us to do,

We'll do it.
We're here for you, you know.

Unless you want us
to do something somewhere else,

Then we'll be there
for you.

So, you know,
here or there

Is where we'll be
if you want us to be...

There or here.

Yeah, okay.
Well, that's good

Because we do have
a lot to do. We do.

Okay, Mark, you ought to
take back all the tuxedos.

And put dan's
on the bottom,

'cause they had
to cut it off of him.

Good thinking,
Mrs. Conner.

And while you're out
then go to the park there

You know, where we
had the wedding,

'cause we left
all that wedding food and garbage laying around.

Go get that sign
that says conner wedding

And throw
that away.

I'll help you, Mark.
And i'll drop by the house

And bring you back
a change of clothes.

Thanks, mom.

So, uh...

You guys just ought to go
home and change.

Go to the cafeteria
though, and bring me back some coffee.

Okay,
Mrs. Conner.

Give dad a kiss
for me, okay?

- ( sighs )
- god, do you believe all of this?

Here,
you sit down.

He'll be
all right.

( clears throat )

Dan's strong.

Everything
will be all right.

Man...

I've been with him
since I was 16 years old.

What are you still
doing here?

I sent everybody
home two hours ago.

I didn't want to go.

What have you been doing
the whole time?

Read magazines,
watching tv.

"highlights"?

How are that
goofus and gallant doing?

Same as always.
Gallant's getting straight a's--

Yeah, and goofus
is getting all the girls.

I'm gonna call
somebody to come get you and take you home.

I want to stay.

There is just
no reason to stay.

I mean, everything is totally
okay and under control,

And we're all
really exhausted now.

No.

Yeah.

I keep forgetting
how grown-up you are.

Nurse on intercom:
dr. Bender to the nursing ward.

Hi.

D.J.'s wanting
to sleep over,

So i'm gonna
let him.

- cool.
- yeah.

Do you want me
to call anybody else?

- you want me
to call your parents? - no, don't call them.

How are the other
kids doing?

Well, becky's
home taking care of the baby.

Dave and Darlene
are around.

I hear they canceled
their honeymoon.

Oh man,
they canceled it?

Well, they just
moved it to our basement.

They can do it later.

- no, they won't.
- yeah, they can.

Those bus tickets
are good for a whole year.

Oh man,
I really screwed up.

- no, you didn't.
- yeah, I did.

This was supposed to be
darlene's day,

Now all of a sudden
everybody has to take care of me.

- oh, come on.
- real good, Dan.

They didn't even get
to finish their reception.

- so, nobody cares
about the reception. - I do.

So what?
The wedding is the thing that matters.

We had
the wedding so...

Can't you just stop
thinking about that

And just try
to relax?

I'm having a real
hard time not thinking about this.

Yeah, me too.

What are you doing,
Darlene?

Dad bought a new
garbage disposal

Before he went
into the hospital, so i'm installing it.

You don't know
how to do that.

It's just a simple
machine, Becky, that eats up garbage,

No more complicated
than your husband.

That's dad's job.

Yeah, I just thought
it'd be a nice surprise for him for when he got home.

Well, it won't.
It'll make him feel

Like we think he can't do
that kinda stuff anymore,

Like, we're treating him like
some invalid or something.

Yeah,
you may be right.

No, i'm right.

Can you get me
the flashlight out of the drawer?

Shine it
right there.

You haven't taken
out the old one yet.

It's stuck.

It doesn't
want to come out.

I guess this is
the dream house for a garbage disposal.

It was weird seeing
dad like that.

He seemed so...
Frail.

Yeah.

God, I never thought
i'd see him like that.

I never even conceived
of something like this happening.

Yeah, like
i'd see those guys,

These big guys
and they'd have these huge chili dogs

That they'd be
munching on...

And i'd think,
"whoa, there's a heart attack waiting to happen."

God, Becky,
I mean...

Maybe people thought
that when they saw dad.

I never did.

Yeah.
Me either.

Maybe I should have.
I don't know.

Well, i'm pretty sure

Chili dogs are off-limits
for the old man from here on out.

Yeah, which means
mom can't eat hers in bed now, so...

What if he died?

He's not gonna die, Becky.
He's gonna be fine.

Well, maybe not this time,
but someday.

What are you thinking?
Just shut up, Becky.

What, don't you ever
think about that?

Don't you ever wonder
what it'd be like if dad died?

God...

That would be...
Weird.

And mom--

Mom will
never die.

It'd be weird
to come in here

Without dad
being here.

Hey, what do you say
we just let dad do this when he gets home?

Yeah.

You got to be bored
out of your skull, doll.

No, they got a lot of
great magazines laying around here.

Listen to this,

"with the election
a month away,

Bush leads dukakis

By 12 percentage points."

Nixon's out
of office?

Huh.

Honey, why don't you go
down and get yourself something to eat?

- you got to be starving.
- no, i'm fine.

I've been taking hits
off your I.V. While you weren't looking.

Next time
we'll get chocolate.

( sighs )
Rosie, i'm fine. Go.

Yeah, I guess
if I hurry down there

I can beat
the post-dialysis rush.

All right. You want me
to get you anything?

No.
Thanks, honey.

You sure you don't want
a cigarette or something?

( laughs )

( monitor beeping )

Oh, man.

All right,
you got my attention.

( breaths deeply )

I got no more
fight left in me.

That's all I had
was the fight.

Listen, I don't mind
that you pegged me

For one of these guys
that has to keep grinding it out,

But you had me feeling
like I was shoveling coal on the titanic.

No matter how fast
I was shoveling,

It just keeps
going down.

I've been shoveling
so hard

That I haven't had time to deal
with the stuff

I was gonna
fix later, you know?

I'm gonna quit
drinking later,

I'm gonna start
watching what I eat later,

I'm gonna deal
with my problems

With my mom
and my old man later.

So is this the big
lesson? Huh?

That later
is now, or what?

I'm not ready
to leave yet.

( breaths deeply )

I will slow down.

Just give me
some more time

To work on stuff.

And I know you're
probably not real big

On making deals,

But just give me
a few more trips

Around the sun,
you know, to...

I don't want to
leave them.

She can't make it
without me.

Just...

It's not like i'm asking
for money or the moon.

It's not that much.

Please.

- ( phone ringing )
- so what is this,

Some kind of huge
cosmic joke thing that you got going?

Every time anything
goes good,

You have to like,
totally make it all crash in on us?

Why?

What did we do
to deserve that?

Why at darlene's
wedding does this have to happen?

I depend on you
and you totally let me down.

Although...

I guess it wasn't you
that was...

Cooking up all that greasy
meat and bacon

And bringing him
all those beers.

Sitting there doing that
right along with him.

I mean it--
it's obvious.

I should have seen
the guy's in trouble.

Why didn't
I see that?

Man.

So...

I guess you're not
the one that blew it.

Roseanne, why are you
doing this?

- okay, open.
- what is it?

Breath spray
or mace.

I forget which.

But, anyway,
you got to get all looking pretty

And smelling good
'cause I got a big surprise for you.

Is my poker buddies
coming by?

No, better than that--
people I like.

Okay, come on in,
guys.

- hello there.
- Dan: oh.

What's all this?

It's the wedding
reception you missed.

A dramatization
like on that "911."

Yeah,
it'll be fun.

Okay, so let me totally
set the scene here.

Here we are
at the wedding

And Darlene and David
have just kissed.

Roseanne:
okay, do it. Do it.

Do it, do it,
do it.

Aw! Everybody,

All: aw!

Yes, and now we've
left the wedding

And we're walking
into the reception area there.

So that would be
time for dad

To give the toast.

Oh, honey,
I don't want to.

No, come on.

You had really
nice things to say

And I want you to say it.
So toast away.

All right.
Uh, Darlene,

You'll always
be my daughter.

David,

I'm glad
that you're officially my son-in-law now.

And if there's anything
you ever need or want...

( breaking )
that I can provide--

Okay, that's
enough of that.

We want the reception
here to stay fun.

So okey-dokey.
What's next?

Then they dance.

Okay, d.J.,
music.

( classical music playing )

- dad.
- what?

You're supposed
to cut in.

Oh, i'm sorry.
My dear.

Ready for a little
fancy footwork?

- ready as i'll ever be.
- all right.

Ready to be
dipped?

( bed motor whirrs )

Thanks, dad, you're really
light on your back.

Yes, that was fun.

That was a lot better
than the last time.

It was so embarrassing.
Remember barry what's- his-face

Invited me to that big
spring dance thingy

And mom gussied me all
up like a girl

And made me dance
around the living room with you?

- evans.
- what?

Barry evans, that was
the kid's name.

My god,
you remember that?

Well, it was
my little girl's first big dance thingy.

We never danced,
Mr. Conner,

But there was
that one time you threw me up against a wall.

Sorry about that.

No, when Darlene
and I started living together,

We should have told you.
I guess I was just afraid you would,

I don't know,
throw me up against the wall.

Like you did
with my boyfriend.

I'm not sorry about that.
Fisher had it coming.

No kidding, Dan.
You really saved me, you know?

You're the only guy
in my life who ever stood up for me

And looked out
for me and--

Without wanting
anything back.

So, thanks,
Dan.

Hey, dad.
I got a great story.

Remember that time
I saved your life?

D.J., you're getting
the car.

So, how are
you holding up?

I'm starting
to drag a little bit.

Okay, well...

All right.

We'll come see
you tomorrow, dad.

- okay, yeah.
- David: take care.

- Jackie: bye.
- Darlene: see you tomorrow.

So...
Short but sweet,

How did you like
that reception, huh?

A bit gaudy.

Okay, i'll let you get
some rest now too.

Roseanne, i'm scared.

Yeah, well...

I'm not,
so we're cool.

Listen, there's something
I got to tell you

And it's really
important.

- yeah?
- yeah, I just want you to know that...

I've never cheated
on you.

And i've never
even want to--

Wanted to cheat on you.
I just wanted you to know that,

- just in case--
- don't say that.

- 'cause there isn't any
just in case, okay? - okay.

So I have something
I want to tell you too.

For the first time
in like 25 years...

I felt like,
totally helpless.

25 years is
a long time, kiddo.

( monitor beeping )

( sighs )

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