All language subtitles for Roadies s01e06 Longest Days.eng

[Bill] Previously on Roadies...

So, here we go. Hometown number one.

Denver, Colorado.

[all] Yeah!

I have a bad feeling about
you bringing Mike Finger here.

Finger holds the key to our box set.

Reg Whitehead?

Dude, I'm your manny.

You're fired, hipster asshole.

[Kelly Ann] People
actually think I'm with Reg?

We all know. Why hide it?

He likes you, and he's actually here,

which in my world is a fucking plus.

I'm wondering if we
should keep playing Janine.

- Why?
- Because she called.

- Janine called?
- The actual Janine?

- I will find this Janine.
- Janine Beckwith.

Legend has it Christopher stumbled on

someone's old
yearbook in a Salvation Army

with all these inscriptions in it.

- I don't need to see her.
- Would you like to come back

tomorrow night?

Is this you asking

or is this you asking for Christopher?

[Lucius' "Turn It Around" playing]

[sing-song] Looking
for the Staton-House Band.

Looking for the Staton-House Band.

Staton-House Band?

Yeah, uh, they're actually
not staying at this hotel.

Well, who are you?

I'm the tour manager.

May I?

[chuckles]

I can't.

Have a good one.

You, too.

[playing harmonica]

Shit.

Oh, wait, I got one.

"You can wait here or
you can come with."

I don't actually mind that one.

Here's the one I can't stand.

"It is what it is."

Oh, agreed. That is one
of my least favorite phrases.

Where is it?

What does "it is what it is" even mean?

- Shh.
- Gently.

Sorry. Forgot you got all

liquored and tindered up last night.

You should have come with.

"It is what it is" means, "Fuck it.

You're on your own. You're
fucked," much as I am.

Nothing good ever
happens after someone says,

"It is what it is."

Christ on a bike.

That's a bad one, too.

No, I me... I mean, Christ on a bike.

I can't find my laminate.

[elevator dings]

Beautiful day, huh, Reg?

It is, indeed. If you
like deliriously high

bass players texting the Governor's wife

in the middle of the night.

Are you kidding? I thought
Rick loved Natalie Shayne.

And it seems, the wife of Governor
Steve Beagle, "Tiff."

I also heard Rick
found a sober companion.

Yeah, I'm not sure I
trust any sober companion

hired by someone who is
drunk at the time of hiring.

I'm hoping this is rock bottom for Rick.

Lucius almost filed harassment charges.

Things can only get
better. Nice shirt, by the way.

Isn't it just?

[chuckles]

Kelly Ann's going to tell
you she lost her laminate.

Mm, 500 bucks or you
wear the turkey hat.

Oh, yeah, so... so
what is the actual theory

behind the wearing of the turkey hat?

Well, it's about everyone knowing

you've let yourself down.

You gotta wear the shame.

Well, no way I lost it.

I just temporarily can't find it.

That's what happens right
before you lose something,

possibly forever.

Well, what if we just, you know,

bend the rules this one time?

Like, a one-time only thing.

And she can give
herself a break, for once.

Rules are rules though, right?

And you gotta face the repercussions.

[chuckles]

Wait!

I know where I must have left it.

Hey, guys.

- Oh,
Shel? - Uh-huh.

Um, so you know I still
got this, uh, Shelli?

- Y... yes?
- You know I still got this, um,

lost luggage problem with
a, uh, brown leather Fendi.

- Mm, yes.
- So if you could slip this

into the laundry with
wardrobe, and I... I'll gladly pay.

Um, it's just that the... the...
the hotels, they charge so much.

I know, don't they? No,
you... you don't have to pay.

- Don't worry.
- Oh, no. Really?

I insist.

[Isaac Hayes' "Hung
Up On My Baby" playing]

[phone ringing]

Oh, hello, great Janine.

- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

By the power vested in me, as
judge, jury, and executioner

for 2016 Capture the Flag tour,
you must now be made to suffer

the hat of eternal shame.

It is what it is.

[applause]

Yeah, I got 20 on the turkey.

[whistling]

[chuckles]

Sorry, I'm feeling tidal
waves of embarrassment

just being near you.

- Ha.
- Okay, guys.

Morning circle, let's go.

- Bill?
- Yeah?

Some of us had an
extremely heavy night last night,

so maybe we could do,
like, a semicircle this morning

where we just sit right
here and you can tell us a story.

Yes, pretend like we're
your congregation

and preach to us, brother.

All right, um...

well, I'd like to
officially welcome our band archivist,

who's been with us a
couple days already, but...

[chuckles] I don't know that anybody's

been welcomed to our
family circle faster

than this gentleman right here.

This is not the tale of some millennial

who collected a couple of clippings
and created a website.

This is a rich legacy.

Let me tell you the
story of another young man.

A young man from Brooklyn, New York,

the son of a dressmaker.

He started in the
mailroom at William Morris,

later began Asylum Records,

sold it and started Geffen Records.

That's right, I'm talking about
billionaire David Geffen.

Did I mention Danny Sugarman?

'Cause that 16-year-old
kid, he was answering fan mail

at 8512 Santa Monica
Boulevard, headquarters of...

- The Doors.
- The Doors, huh.

And he became the right
hand man and Boswell

to Mr. Mojo Rising: Jim Morrison.

- [exasperated sigh]
- You see, guys... guys?

The Civil War had Ken Burns,

Lyndon Johnson had Robert Caro,

and the Staten-House
Band is lucky enough

to have Mr. Michael Lewis Finger.

Remember that name, okay?

- Yeah, thank you.
- [applause]

So, one more hometown show,
and, uh, don't be surprised.

Everybody acts a little
nuts due to the altitude.

You see, high atop
mountains, people behave differently.

They hear differently.

They make mistakes.

Make choices that can sometime
alter the course of their lives.

The thing about life
is you only got one shot

to get it right, but here in Denver,

we got two, right?

So here we go. Denver
hometown number two.

Let's do it. Let's get it going, right?

- [applause]
- Okay, thanks.

- Let's have a good show.
- Sorry, just, uh, just...

just one... just one quick thing.

- Hey, Reg?
- Before you...

- S... sorry.
- Before you go.

I, uh, I had a phone call... [coughs]

this morning from Jack White's manager.

Jack is a huge fan of the band.

He is in Denver.

And he would like to
open up for us tonight.

- [girl] What? Seriously?
- [indistinct chatter]

[Bill] Great.

- [applause]
- Yeah, okay.

Okay.

- You look good.
- Thank you.

You look great.

- Hello.
- Leave me alone.

I'm set up and there is absolutely
nothing I need to do.

If only that were true.

[groans] What?

Everybody has to do their
once-a-tour hang with Tom,

and you're up.

He likes to have that
personal connection

with everybody on the crew.

Can't we just say we
have a personal connection

and not do the hang?

You just hang out with him,

listen to the travails of stardom,

and you get on out of there.

I gotta call Laurie
tonight. She's pregnant.

She wants to have a big jealous fight

and if I hang out with
Tom, I won't have the energy.

- You like to fight?
- That's how we love.

Then we hold each other for hours.

And you talk about
everything, don't you?

[Blitzen Trapper's "Big
Black Bird" playing]

It wasn't my fault.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Is that what you want me to say?

Nah. I don't do apologies.

Shit happens, shit gets dealt with.

By the way, you're supposed
to be reading Tale of Two Cities.

- I don't have it.
- Go get it.

I left it in New
Orleans, which is also your fault.

You should have reminded me,

but I've read it anyway.

Yeah? What's it about?

It's about, uh, a city.

And then this... this other city.

Yeah, like, uh, uh, two cities.

And... and then they fight.

Okay, dude,

I personally don't
care if you enter this world

as a person of limited intelligence,

but one day you will be an adult, okay?

And you're going to take your
shit out onto the street.

And believe me, the street
will have an opinion.

I took a big crap in your Yeezies.

No worries.

I'll get your dad to buy me a new pair.

You know what? You can't
rattle me, little man.

Because as much of a dick as you are,

I was way worse.

Now give me the ball.

Why don't you quit like all the others?

Because I have
outlets. Okay? I play guitar.

I garden. I blow people's minds

with coffee that freak boy Mike Finger

says is controversial.

I wish I played guitar.

My dad only taught me three chords.

Wa... wait, is... is
that what this is about?

A guitar lesson?

Would you teach me?

I'm gonna do you one better.

[Charli XCX's "Boom Clap" playing]

[phone ringing]

- Hey.
- Hi.

You weren't at morning circle.

You're always at morning circle.

I-I didn't have anybody to
look at while I was bombing.

[chuckles]

Oh, you missed this, uh...

Apparently Reg has gotten Jack White

to open for us tonight.

That doesn't sound right.

I mean, Jack White only
opens for the Rolling Stones.

He said he talked to his manager.

I don't know. I think we're
gonna get Jack White.

Will you stop being so positive?

Although that would be
an inspired combination.

It would be rare.

I... I'm talking about the
kind of thing that's so rare

that it's... it's almost
like it didn't happen.

I get the feeling we're not talking

about Jack White anymore.

You know I love Jack White.

Oh, hey, Kelly Ann?

Here. Your man has needs.

Get those to the laundry.

You know I have,
like, an actual job, right?

Day two, turkey hat. You got the time.

You look good. You pull it off.

Some people look a little
ridiculous, you know?

You kinda make it look cool.

How did I get stuck doing Reg's laundry?

The same way I got stuck
doing the Tom Staton hang.

What a waste of time.

Look at these socks.

Like little crescent moons.

They're bananas.

Do you think he went in the
store and he was, like,

- "I'll take those socks."
- [chuckles]

Seems more
comfortable in his skin, you know?

Like almost... cool.

Yeah. Since you've been
sleeping with him, he's been glowing.

- Yeah.
- And firing fewer people.

- You're welcome.
- [chuckles]

- What was it like? -
Oh, it was mind-blowing.

We had fish and chips.
He called Prince William

and they spoke about "bits and bobs."

- It was pretty sublime.
- About time you admit it.

Oh, it's fucking all wet.

Jesus.

Hi, we're looking for a Mr. Manuscitz.

- He's no longer in the hotel.
- [phone beeps]

Shit, that's right.

Chris must have changed his
name for the second night in Denver.

Perhaps.

He's gotta be under
one of these other names.

D.B. Cooper?

- No.
- Nothing?

Okay, Reginald Dwight? Detective
Harry Callahan?

- Gordon Sumner?
- Herv? Villechaize?

- David Furnish?
- Bruce Jenner?

- Caitlyn Jenner?
- Francis Albert Sinatra?

- For the elevator.
- [elevator dings]

He's gonna make one
stray comment about the show,

then he's gonna
immediately ask you about Janine.

You be brief. Provide no details.

See, Reg, the thing is, you're playing

with incredibly coustie chemicals here.

She's an incredible person.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

That's the problem. You look good.

Thanks. How was the garage?

Loved wearing the Gram
Parsons jacket again.

Yeah, it's good. I, uh, I actually...

I plugged in an old boom box
that had "play" still pressed.

"Radio Nowhere" comes on, same
place I'd turned it off

seven years earlier, and for a minute...

Hey, so how is Janine?

She was great.

She was fabulous.

The show, though, I
thought was transcendent.

- Great show.
- It was a...

it was the sort of
show that really made me...

- How did she smell?
- Like a kind of rose.

No, like, um, childhood.

And chocolate.

- Childhood and chocolate.
- Yeah.

You know, I-I think the new
set is the perfect set...

How did she respond to the show?

- I mean, were you with her?
- For most of it, yeah.

[Christopher] That's
fantastic. Thank you.

No, my pleasure.

- What did she respond to?
- Well, you, of course.

I mean, she hung on every word.

She's quite quiet, but she's very...

she was very still.

She wore a pea coat.

- The pea coat.
- Mm.

Yeah.

Should we invite her to come tonight?

- Definitely not.
- I think she would love that.

This is great. You should
call and invite her.

- I will do that.
- But no backstage.

Only if she asks.

Childhood and chocolate. I love that.

I wasn't gonna see her
again until you said that.

My pleasure.

- Are you gonna hit me?
- I don't hit...

anymore. Janine's not coming.

She got a flat tire. Her kid's sick.

They need her back at
the emergency room.

She doesn't have a kid.

That woman is a Trigger Girl.

They pull the trigger, Reg.

Okay, she will actively
derail Christopher House,

so you can call Preston,
you do whatever you want,

but you're not gonna walk in here

and fuck with my guitar player's head.

Period. You got that?

[Foals' "Birch Tree" playing]

Sometimes it's just your turn.

Hey, Tom.

I heard Jim James and
Lucius both tried to steal you.

They all try to steal me.

How have you been? I
hear Laurie's pregnant.

Yeah.

I want to hear how you been doing.

How... how are your parents?

They're good.

My dad came out as gay last year.

And your mom?

She's the only straight one left.

It's tough.

With everything happening with society,

it's like that line from "Happenstance."

"Shifting sands, holding hands,

everything is new."

I'm really glad you guys are
playing that song again.

Christopher's waking
up. Y... you know I love him,

but he's been a little asleep.

And me, you know how I
struggle with the success.

Tom, I have all this pressure
to leave our hang early because...

I ordered you a massage.

But I told everyone leave
me the fuck alone.

I'm hanging with Tom.

Hey.

Sorry, I'm confused.

Are you a turkey or are you a human?

Listen, have you ever
seen the movie Local Hero?

No.

Why?

Nothing.

I was just thinking about
how amazing it is.

And that you would like it.

And I was thinking about actually maybe

watching it again some time.

Oh, I... I'll de... I'll
definitely check it out.

Okay. I'm gonna go on one
last mega-search for my laminate.

Well, happy hunting.

[chuckles]

- Hey, buddy.
- Hey, man.

You know how in bad movies

when two people who really
enjoy each other's company

sleep together and
it changes everything?

Like, suddenly their whole
being is defined by the fact

that they've had sex.

Yes.

Let's not be in that movie.

- Bill?
- Yeah?

William, honey,

it was, uh, you know,

it was... wow last night.

But, uh, many
not-so-great things

are just around the corner
if "wow" ever happens again.

I think that was it.

Really?

You're amazing, but I
want to make your life easier,

not harder.

So it won't happen again.

I knew it last night.

[chuckles] You know
what I love about you?

I-I feel like
everything we are as friends

is, like, still in,
like, pretty good shape.

- Yeah.
- You just can't tell anyone.

Shelli, I'm discreet.

I operate very well in
these post-coital waters.

Powerful women find me
safe and interesting.

Quit polishing your apple.

It won't happen again and
none of them will know.

You and I, we'll know.

If that's a problem, tell me now.

No, that's not a problem. [sighs]

It's just...

I don't enjoy finding the
one good thing in my life

and fucking it up.

I depend on a Bill and Shelli

who know exactly where
we stand with each other.

You know, mostly.

I'm still a good thing in your life.

I lessen stress.

Let's be the Bill and
Shelli is alive and well,

admiring each other from afar,

well-loved by young and old alike,

gripped with amnesia over everything

that's happened in Denver... version.

Deal.

But just no one can
find out what happened.

Stop. You're making
me feel like some trollop

that you picked up along the way.

[scoffs]

You're picky, and I'm honored.

And it's over, and I understand that.

You're so adult about this whole thing.

Makes me just a little paranoid

that you only wanted
to see what I was like.

Trust me, that's not the case.

Let's maybe not talk any
more about last night.

May I add one more thing?

- I... I'd rather you didn't.
- It happened, we happened.

It was wonderful. It was unforgettable.

And every 37 years, when
we see the Supermoon

we can think about Bill and Shelli.

Actually the Supermoon
happens every 14 months.

We, uh, we got that wrong.

- Not 37
years. - Mm-mm.

[soft guitar music playing]

Mellencamp!

I recognize that voice.

[chuckles] Missed you, brother.

How you doing, hot rod?

What are you guys out doing today?

Nothing much. What the
hell you drinking, man?

[chuckles] Gotta stay healthy
these days, right?

Yeah. I hear that, sensei.

Oh, look, uh, I bring you a young man

who wants to play guitar.

This is Winston. He's Tom Staton's kid.

Tom Staton's kid. I like your old man.

He's a fucking asshole.

[chuckles] I remember being your age

and hating my dad, too.

So the best thing to do is, uh,

learn how to make your
anger work for you.

This here is, uh, my life's companion.

Nora Guthrie gave me this guitar.

This was Woody Guthrie's guitar.

You know who Woody Guthrie was?

No.

Woody Guthrie's name is
written in the stars.

He wrote the most beautiful songs.

Now hold this.

He took his anger and made something
beautiful out of it.

A guitar's kinda like, uh,
a woman if you hold it nice

and you, uh...

and you finger it the right way,

beautiful songs will come out of it.

My grandmother
lived to be 100 years old.

And, um...

she used to call me up in the afternoon

and she'd say, uh, she'd say, "Buddy,

why don't you come and see me?"

And, uh, I'd have to lay in bed with her

'cause she was sick.

Now, have you ever locked eyes

with a
100-year-old-woman before?

- Mm, no.
- She, uh,

looked like she was your age.

She... her face took
on that of a little girl

and, uh, she said, "You know, buddy,

you're gonna find out real soon

that life is short.

Even its longest days."

And I thought all the
good songs had been written

till I heard that line.

So, since you came over here
to learn how to play a guitar,

let's try to play this
song together, okay?

[strumming guitar]

The first chord you're
gonna play is an A.

[both strumming guitar]

Then it goes to your D.

[both strumming guitar]

And then back to your A.

[both strumming guitar]

- Nice.
- All right, hot rod, you ready?

Ready.

[playing "Longest Days"]

Keeping up with me?

- Not bad.
- Yes, yes, yes.

That was so cool. Wow.

What do you say to that?

Cage the Elephant was better.

[laughing]

Oh, there's rock critics everywhere.

If it wasn't so great, then just go put

my life's companion back in its stand.

[chuckles]

Why are you looking at me like that?

[gasps] Oh, my God! Oh!

[indistinct chatter]

- [both chuckling]
- Hi.

Why, hello. How are you?

I'm well. How are you?

- Yeah, really good.
- Oh, yeah? Hi.

- Thanks for coming
again. - Mm-hmm.

- It's good to see you.
- Yeah, you too.

Oh, that looks better.

Yeah, no, it really hurts,

but I'm pleased it looks nice for you.

- Sorry.
- [laughter]

Uh, thank you so much for not wearing

your horsey coat again.

I, uh, thought I would de-hay for you.

Oh, so, uh, one quick thing.

Christopher doesn't want me here.

No, actually, quite the opposite.

[exhales sharply] It's Bill, isn't it?

No, it... it... it... it truly...

It's okay, it's okay.

It's okay, I don't,
uh, I don't want to know.

- Oh, good.
- Yeah.

- It's Bill.
- [laughter]

- I know it's Bill.
- You...

- I know it's Bill.
- He seem to think that

it might cause a bit of a stir.

Oh.

[exhales deeply] It is what it is.

Mm-hmm.

Well, none of them
understand. It's like...

it's like they're all
living with this ancient idea

of who I am.

But I didn't come to see them.

I came to see you.

[Gregory Alan Isakov's
"Amsterdam" playing]

I actually don't mind when a
guy takes a big swing and misses.

Like, he has no idea I'm not into guys.

It's when a guy takes a
little swing and misses,

I'm usually not nice to them.

[strumming ukulele]

Hey, what about that rigger?

The one that changed the set list?

- Kelly Ann?
- Yeah.

I think Christopher has a crush on her.

Are you shitting me?

- Don't say anything.
- Never.

I'm totally discreet.

[exhales sharply]

I think she's with Reg.

Amazing.

I won't say anything to Christopher.

Hey, where is Winston?

Wes took him for a guitar
lesson with John Mellencamp.

Ah, I love that Wes.

You know, Winston doesn't
always connect with people,

but he's really bonded with that guy.

I'm sorry! I don't
know who Woody Guthrie is.

[exhales sharply]

You fucking asshole! I...

Do you know what you just
did, you little monster?

You disrespected the Man, man. Okay?

The Mellencamp, whose lyrics are quoted

by Bob fucking Dylan!

You spilled
disgusting wheatgrass smoothie

on Woody Guthrie's guitar, man.

Did you not hear the tender story

about his
100-year-old grandma?

With the face?

This is why they call you "Devil
Child" behind your back.

They call me "The Devil Child"?

[exhales sharply] I... I'm sorry.

I can't look at you. You
gotta ride in back.

Just... [exhales sharply]

I am truly sorry.

You... you called the
management of Jack Black,

not Jack White.

That was just Jack
Black saying he's sorry,

but he had to fly back to Los Angeles,

and after he thought about it,

he's not sure it fits with
his concept of Tenacious D.

So where's Jack White?

We don't know what
city Jack White is in.

And we are once again
without an opening act.

Uh, actually, uh,

it looks like Black Atlantis
might finally get their shot.

- Oh! Oh, thank you, thank you.
- Yeah? Okay.

I promise, only ballads, none
of the dark stuff, okay.

- [exhales sharply and claps]
- Perfect.

- Hey, guys.
- All right, hello.

Rick. Natalie.

Guys, uh, thanks to Natalie,
I know I have a problem.

So I decided to fly my
neighbor in from L.A. to help.

Um, everybody, this is Marc Maron

of the WTF podcast and television show.

Wow, the Marc Maron.
I'm a What the Fucker.

Oh, wow, thanks.

The one with Kim Gordon? Amazing.

Right? That was, like, that was intense.

- Yeah, you could tell.
- I was nervous about that.

It was, like, yeah, you could feel that.

- It... it... it came out okay.
- Amazing.

Yeah, yeah. Well, look, I'm a...

I'm a big, uh, SHB fan, so
when, uh, Rick asked me

to help him out, you
know, stay sober, uh,

I was in, you know, and I know Lucius,

and the girls told me he got a little...

a little... little
bad. Little wobbly, huh?

- That one?
- It wasn't pretty.

- All right.
- So who's opening tonight?

Oh, it's a... it's a
bit of a sore subject.

Uh, uh, Reg called Jack
Black and Jack White.

- And which one's opening?
- Uh, neither.

But you know what? We're...
we're actually thinking

- that this might be the day...
- Hey, you know what?

I could do it.

I could do a quick 10,
15 minutes of stand-up.

- That would be awesome.
- I mean, that would be

- hilarious, the only...
- Marc Maron opening for us?

- I was just... uh...
- It'd be a blast.

- I'd be honored, seriously.
- Awesome.

- This is awesome.
- Wow.

- Awesome.
- Let's go.

- Amazing.
- You want to come with me?

- Okay.
- Great idea.

- Nice meeting you.
- Nice to meet you, too.

- So generous of you.
- See you out there.

Such a pleasure. Thank you.

- Yeah, yeah.
- There you go.

- Problem solved, eh?
- Marc Maron.

Ha!

You don't understand what just happened?

What?

A comedian never opens for a rock band.

What? Is it another fucking curse?

It just doesn't work. It's
like bad chemicals.

Blood and plastic. It... it's
two different parts of the brain.

I mean, Tom and Christopher are
going to fucking flip out.

What... what if I can
get Jack White before showtime?

In less than two hours?

Reg, you didn't get Jack Black.

Jack White doesn't know who you are.

At this point, I don't
think you could get

Jack Blue, Yellow, Green, or
local juggler Jack Orange.

At this point, you
couldn't even get Jack Off.

I'm sorry, I'm not good with insults.

Oh, no, that was pretty solid.

The only good news is that
there can't be any worse news.

Listen, uh, so Janine is here,

and I think that she
should say hi to Christopher.

So let's just get past it.

- Did I hear you correctly?
- Hmm?

You want to bring Janine backstage
to meet Christopher?

Well, he said to offer.

And a junkie will ask for heroin.

It's not like that.

I think that if Christopher sees her,

he will realize that she's
not the old Janine anymore.

Hmm.

Okay, do it.

But just know... you'll wear it.

If the band asks me why,

I'll say you took responsibility.

Oh, thank you. Oh, no hugs.

[Little May's "Boardwalks" playing]

- Oh, well, hello.
- [chuckles]

- Sorry.
- [chuckles]

I missed you.

I've only been gone five minutes.

- It's only been five minutes.
- It has not been five minutes.

It felt a lot longer than that.

I-I want something for you.

[chuckles] What... what do you want?

I think that you deserve closure.

Closure's an urban myth.

Christopher's asked about you.

You asked about Christopher.

I think it's time that you
put the past in the past.

Yeah.

You are, uh, you're
gonna make me cry now.

Let's go and see Christopher.

And put an end...

to this boring ancient history.

Janine.

- Hi.
- You look good.

Yeah, thanks. You too, Bill.

Sorry, Janine, this is
Shelli, our production manager.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Shelli, this is the actual Janine.

- Yes, yes.
- The one and only.

- That's right.
- Wow, yeah, nice to meet you.

- Well, well, well, wow.
- Wow, indeed.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- This is, uh...
- Something.

- Oh...
- Hey, guys, uh,

this is a set list for tonight.

We're gonna encore with...

- Janine.
- Hi, Chris,

- Hi.
- Hi.

You look amazing. You changed your hair.

[chuckles] Yeah, changed my life.

Sure changed mine.

We've been playing some
of the old songs again.

Yeah, I know. I was there last night.

What'd you think?

Well, you know, a lot's
been coming up for me, too.

Like when I heard the
words "tough angel" again,

it made me think that everything
I've been doing

has just been exactly on schedule.

What do you mean? Like
the emergency room?

'Cause I've heard so many stories
about where you've been,

- what you've been doing...
- Yeah, you... you had my number.

And you never called.

I w... was going to.

Yeah. See, my friends all
read your interviews

where you talk about
your glorious former love,

but you've never reached out to me.

And guess what?

You're about to find out what it's like

on the other side of the fence.

Wha...

What it's like to be used.

What happens when you
take a real person,

not the lyrics of a
song, and discard her.

Janine, you left me.

Oh, my God. You... you left yourself.

You were cruel and selfish.

And you pushed me away and then...

and then you talk about me.

You talk about me like
I'm some gift from above.

Some special gift to give
you sad songs and a weepy story

to tell those jack-off journalists

with a tear in your eye.

Then you show them the tattoo of me?

Your "glorious angel."

Hey, I cherish that tattoo, okay?

Yeah. Oh, my God, your
sad, tired girlfriend.

Well, fuck you!

I have a book deal.

[Christopher] What?

I ke... I kept everything.

Ah, legal tablets, your
notes, your clothes,

that damn boots that you
always loved to wear.

And, uh, this.

The Yearbook is real.

Do you have the Kitchen Sessions?

I have everything!

Oh.

This is like a fucking
street mugging, Janine.

Oh, God, I have dreamed of this moment,

when I get to tell you that
everything you left behind,

all that pain is going
to turn into the money

you never offered me.

Thank God I met a beautiful
man, a lawyer in Boulder,

who showed me how to even the score.

'Cause, Christopher,

I know where all the bodies are buried.

And you are not getting
rid of me this time.

- Not without paying me...
- Okay.

What I deserve.

- You got a show to do.
- Oh, yeah.

Why don't we table this, Janine?

- Or you and I can go back...
- Oh, okay, maybe it's time

we tell your best
friend about the time that

you drove me home from Tulaggi's...

- Yeah.
- And pulled off on the side

of the road and you
kissed me and we fucked.

- I don't remember that.
- You should.

[scoffs] It's your best friend.

You fucked me in your Volvo

across the street from our house.

I remember briefly hugging in private.

I've got the e-mail you wrote
me later, "Sweet William."

What is she talking about, Bill?

- Um...
- I fucked him.

I fucked his brains out, Chris.

Because I knew it would hurt you.

Because he doesn't get sex thrown at him

like you do all the time. [chuckles]

He appreciates it
more because he gets less.

I wouldn't be too sure about that.

I just figured it was
time we all told each other

the fucking truth!

That's great. Keep that.

Ah, Puna. [exhales sharply]

- That's it, Janine.
- Yeah, that's about it.

I'm sorry.

I had no idea.

Uh, you okay?

Did you do it?

Yeah.

[inhales deeply]

Fuck you, Bill.

Can we just have a moment?

Be quick.

So I just need to know...

for when I replay
this over and over again

for the rest of my life.

Was none of that real?

Like, were the horses and, um,

"I don't want to see Christopher."

I'm sorry I put you in the middle.

Probably going to lose my job over this.

I come from sports, you know, and, um,

accounting.

I don't... I don't
understand show people.

Here, I...

I brought you this.

For my wound?

Yeah.

I'm afraid it won't work.

Reg, I... I'm sorry.

I can't believe you had sex with Janine.

It is what it is.

No, it isn't.

You can't just brush it away.

I don't ever want to
hear "it is what it is" again.

So you don't want to talk about
what happened last night,

but you want to talk about
a mistake that I made

before I ever even met you?

So you do think last
night was a mistake.

Yeah.

Like the best mistake I've
ever made in my life.

I've never done anything like this.

I've never cheated on Sean.

This is not who I am.

And I'm afraid when I talk to him,

he's gonna hear it in my voice.

This has to be over.

We can't allow our personal feelings

to get in the way of our jobs.

Or...

maybe we can.

Maybe.

No. No, no, no.

We... we... we
can't. We can't because I-I...

I want this tour to be a success.

I-and I-I want
to build from it.

And...

I want to manage this band one day.

Wait a second.

You want to manage the band?

Well, why not?

What... why do you think
it's just crazy for me to...

why are you looking at me like that?

Well, because I was
thinking that maybe, uh,

I want to manage the band.

Well, maybe we should discuss

whether we want to do that together.

Let me ask you this.

Do you love Sean?

- How's it going?
- Hey.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Hey, do you, uh, it's a weird question.

Is there anything I need to know?

Do you have any advice for...

for opening for SHB?

- Yes.
- [chuckles]

Yeah, uh, I do.

Uh, mention the band.

Warm 'em up. Do your 15 minutes.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- Great.
- Not what you were looking for?

Yeah, but, you know, you
did the best you could. I...

- Let me get you a smoothie.
- Okay.

- We'll talk about it.
- Thanks a lot.

Is this what you're gonna wear on stage?

Why? What? Is that a joke?

My mother never understood. [sniffs]

My father refused to talk
to me because I wasn't a boy.

I'm more a boy than his own son.

[sniffs]

Fuck!

I want so much for you
and Laurie to make it.

And I want you to have a
perfect, beautiful child.

Like Winston.

Dude, your son is a terror.

- Pardon?
- And we're outta here, Donna.

They called him "Devil
Child" before Wes.

Donna, honey, let... let's hit it.

[sighs]

No, no, no, it's... it's okay.

Thank you for that.

I need this kinda truth.

I don't get it from Christopher anymore.

And I'm so worried about Rick.

We all are.

- I love you.
- [chuckles]

I want truth, Bill.

Copy that. More truth.

But that's actually how you
know that your neighborhood

has fully transitioned into
a hipster neighborhood

is when you walk into a storefront

and you're really not sure
what they're selling there.

You have that weird
moment when you're, like,

"Okay, there's a saddle. I don't know.

A box of records, two old
typewriters, and a macram? owl.

What the fuck is going on in here?"

How long has he been up there?

Weeks.

You know what? Can...
can I do something?

I... you know, I'm also a musician.

I don't... I don't get to play, like...

No, just o... I just
wanna play one song.

One song, man.

[cheers and applause]

You know what? Maybe I...
maybe I'll just steal this guitar

and we'll call it even.

Hey.

There you are.

Do you believe what we just witnessed?

I... ha... have you ever
seen anyone that... honest?

[chuckles]

I suppose honesty is in
the eye of the beheaded.

So, uh, I... I'm gonna be leaving

pretty quickly after the show.

So if I don't see you, um,

thank you, Reg.

I... I've got a ton to
write about for the site.

Uh, lots of swag.

This has... this has
been... everything to me.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Oh, and hey, uh, about your box set?

I do have some killer
stuff. It's all yours.

Well, brilliant. I, um, I will find you.

What's that?

It's your laundry.

I... [exhales sharply]

Well, thank you.

Listen, uh,

I was thinking about watching
that movie that you mentioned,

uh, Local Hero, tonight after the show

because you said that you were
thinking about watching it, too,

and I... and I just
thought that maybe...

that we could watch it...

together.

We've got to load out after the show.

Can't really watch a movie.

Another time then, perhaps.

Are... are you gonna be all right?

Oh, yeah.

I suppose some of these
songs might be getting to me a bit.

Yeah.

They'll do that.

[strumming guitar]

- I quit.
- Okay, dude,

I quit you in the parking lot.

I'm the first one who
said "quit," and I quit.

Perfect, you quit first. Thank you.

All right, we tried
something and it didn't work out.

All right, I moved on.

Why?

D... be... because, man, you're
a selfish little prick.

You know, maybe you should
have listened to what

John Mellencamp said about anger.

I'm 12, and I got it.

Clearly, you missed it.

Hey, Jeannie, uh, get this
off in the morning, thank you.

The comedian did a killer 45 minutes.

Oh, my God, I know. It was excruciating.

Yeah, I mean, the band never recovered.

It's like the... Janine
incident didn't help.

Christopher wept through
the entire show.

Get ready for another call from Preston.

Thank you.

You know what we have to do now.

[playing guitar]

- Dude.
- Yeah.

That was seriously
the... see you later, ladies.

That was seriously the best
set I've ever had in my life.

That was amazing, man. Check this out.

Rick lent me his guitar.
I'm working on some songs.

I think I'm gonna do a
couple more songs tomorrow night.

What was... how long was I up there?

- Like, 14 minutes?
- 45 minutes.

And, Marc, about tomorrow night,

and I know you're a busy guy,

but le... let's actually walk and talk.

Oh, okay.

I'll put...

- That'll be okay there?
- Yeah, that's great.

All right. So, listen,
I don't know if you

ever heard my Lorne Michaels interview,

but I'm starting to
realize that my entire podcast

has been about me getting to the bottom

of that rejection from "SNL," dude.

And I want to hear more about that,
fascinating, by all means.

Well, listen, here's what I'm saying.

Now, I feel whole.

Like this is what I should be doing.

I should be out, you know, like,
helping Rick stay sober.

- Yeah.
- And just being, like,

a kick ass opener for the
band for the whole tour.

- Yeah.
- For the whole tour, man.

Marc, I have to let you go.

What? Why?

I just... I killed in there, man.

- I slayed. - Y-you
were very charismatic.

All right, thanks.

Maybe... too charismatic.

Wait... I'm too charisma...

you're gonna fire me 'cause
I'm too charismatic?

What does that even fucking mean?

You're gonna fire the doctor
that's curing your cancer?

Do you not vote for the guy for
president 'cause he's too smart?

I mean, what... what
kind of bullshit is this?

You know, don't think
of it as being fired.

It's just, you know,
it... it is what it is.

It's... it's like Lorne
Michaels all over again.

- That's what it is.
- Not at all.

And, Marc, w... we'd
love to have you around,

to... to stay and be
Rick's sober companion.

- That'd be...
- Fuck Rick.

- Excuse me?
- Fuck you.

- Well, hold on now.
- I'm out.

I'm out.

You were amazing.

Thanks. Where are you headed?

Where you're headed.

I'm lost.

Not anymore.

Uh, this came for
Winston, but I couldn't find him.

It's from John Mellencamp.

[chuckles]

[computer beeping]

[John Mellencamp's "Longest Days"]

[phone ringing]

Hi, honey.

[chuckles]

Yeah, no, um, uh, I'm so
sorry. It's... it's been a crazy day.

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