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1
00:00:00,047 --> 00:00:03,166
We want out viewers
to curl up and get cozy
2
00:00:03,167 --> 00:00:07,007
and comfy with you on your
own late night talk show!
3
00:00:07,017 --> 00:00:08,517
Really, Joe? A talk show?
4
00:00:08,557 --> 00:00:10,027
Please, I am up to my implants in
5
00:00:10,057 --> 00:00:11,777
celebrities to dress.
6
00:00:11,807 --> 00:00:12,947
I ran into Quinn today,
7
00:00:12,977 --> 00:00:15,057
and she asked to start
styling with her again.
8
00:00:15,117 --> 00:00:16,777
I guess it's time to look for a nanny.
9
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:17,947
When can you start?
10
00:00:17,987 --> 00:00:19,647
I'm gonna need every second Tuesday off.
11
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:21,317
When you emerge from that capsule,
12
00:00:21,357 --> 00:00:24,737
now that will be a memeable moment.
13
00:00:24,787 --> 00:00:25,963
Joe doesn't wanna do the capsule.
14
00:00:25,987 --> 00:00:26,987
He has to do the capsule.
15
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:27,957
Got it. He'll be there.
16
00:00:27,987 --> 00:00:29,808
Would you jump out of the capsule?
17
00:00:29,833 --> 00:00:30,597
No.
18
00:00:30,636 --> 00:00:33,997
No shirt, no hot pants or capsule!
19
00:00:34,027 --> 00:00:36,697
I'm gonna go out there, tell everybody
I'm excited about the show,
20
00:00:36,717 --> 00:00:37,587
and say good night.
21
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:40,651
So that would be a negative on
the little antennae...
22
00:00:48,367 --> 00:00:51,077
- Uh... can I help you?
- Oh.
23
00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:52,827
I believe in time, we can both learn
24
00:00:52,867 --> 00:00:54,117
to help each other.
25
00:00:54,147 --> 00:00:55,447
I'm Flan.
26
00:00:55,487 --> 00:00:57,787
Okay Flan, what the hell are
you doing in my kitchen?
27
00:00:57,817 --> 00:00:59,757
I'm providing nourishment
and spiritual growth
28
00:00:59,787 --> 00:01:01,179
for your offspring.
29
00:01:01,797 --> 00:01:02,957
Barrett hired you?
30
00:01:02,997 --> 00:01:04,297
Oh. Hired...
31
00:01:04,327 --> 00:01:06,047
I like to think of
it as more of a sacred
32
00:01:06,097 --> 00:01:08,679
pact that Barrett and I made in spirit.
33
00:01:09,125 --> 00:01:10,125
Smoothie?
34
00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:11,597
Sure.
35
00:01:12,593 --> 00:01:14,084
I'm little surprised to find a guy
36
00:01:14,109 --> 00:01:15,537
in MC Hammer pants in my kitchen.
37
00:01:15,562 --> 00:01:16,562
No offense.
38
00:01:19,357 --> 00:01:21,527
Hmm. Pretty good.
39
00:01:21,567 --> 00:01:22,727
It should be.
40
00:01:22,777 --> 00:01:25,027
It was scavenged at its flavor peak.
41
00:01:31,537 --> 00:01:32,968
Thank you, Mother Gaia.
42
00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:39,006
I'm Joey McIntyre. You
know, the little guy
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00:01:39,031 --> 00:01:40,297
from New Kids on the Block.
44
00:01:40,327 --> 00:01:42,747
Since then, I've had my ups.
45
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And I've had my downs.
46
00:01:44,337 --> 00:01:45,417
But I know I can make it...
47
00:01:45,467 --> 00:01:48,037
With the love of my family, hard work,
48
00:01:48,057 --> 00:01:50,593
and maybe better management.
49
00:01:59,367 --> 00:02:00,497
Dang it!
50
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:01,647
The right stuff.
51
00:02:01,667 --> 00:02:03,117
I did it perfectly last night.
52
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,117
And the night before.
53
00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:05,367
You did great, Soozie.
54
00:02:05,427 --> 00:02:07,287
Must just be performance anxiety.
55
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:09,537
You wouldn't know anything about that.
56
00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:11,827
Uh, I'm about to host my own talk show.
57
00:02:11,847 --> 00:02:13,406
Never done that before, so.
58
00:02:13,609 --> 00:02:15,810
- [Hysterical laughing in background]
- What's going on?
59
00:02:15,976 --> 00:02:17,837
They're meeting with Joey Fatone.
60
00:02:17,857 --> 00:02:19,857
I don't know why they
think you need a sidekick.
61
00:02:19,887 --> 00:02:20,748
Sidekick?
62
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:21,717
Exactly.
63
00:02:21,777 --> 00:02:22,837
Whenever I think about you,
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00:02:22,857 --> 00:02:24,343
we're always alone.
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00:02:24,977 --> 00:02:25,977
I'm gonna go in.
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00:02:30,375 --> 00:02:31,817
I just wanna die!
67
00:02:31,842 --> 00:02:32,963
I was reeling in the marlin, right.
68
00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:34,287
Almost had him reeling in!
69
00:02:34,317 --> 00:02:35,347
And all of a sudden, out of nowhere,
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00:02:35,367 --> 00:02:37,017
behind me, comes this beautiful,
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00:02:37,037 --> 00:02:39,457
cute, adorable pot belly pig!
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00:02:39,487 --> 00:02:40,132
Aw.
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00:02:40,157 --> 00:02:41,037
But he comes up right behind me
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00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:42,157
and bites me on the tookus!
75
00:02:42,218 --> 00:02:43,218
And I'm like who,
76
00:02:43,243 --> 00:02:44,707
who brings a pig deep sea fishing.
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00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:45,867
And all of a sudden I hear,
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00:02:45,892 --> 00:02:47,497
"Aye, is that my pot belly pig?"
79
00:02:48,062 --> 00:02:49,027
And so you know who it was?
80
00:02:49,047 --> 00:02:49,527
Who?
81
00:02:49,547 --> 00:02:50,217
Elton John!
82
00:02:50,247 --> 00:02:51,697
No? Wow!
83
00:02:51,717 --> 00:02:53,143
Actually, the pot
belly pig story is true,
84
00:02:53,167 --> 00:02:55,250
but Elton John, I just made that up.
85
00:02:56,037 --> 00:02:57,312
Hey! Uncle Joe!
86
00:02:58,454 --> 00:02:59,454
What's up?
87
00:02:59,671 --> 00:03:02,169
- What a surprise!
- I know! I mean I'm just so
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00:03:02,194 --> 00:03:04,600
excited that you know... I was
just telling them the story about
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00:03:04,624 --> 00:03:06,093
- the deep sea fishing...
- ...pot belly pig.
90
00:03:06,117 --> 00:03:07,990
- Yeah.
- God, I love that one.
91
00:03:08,015 --> 00:03:11,038
- Yeah, so uh, my new side kick.
- Yeah.
92
00:03:11,063 --> 00:03:12,872
You know what, if I was part of that
93
00:03:12,897 --> 00:03:14,357
sidekick conversation,
94
00:03:14,382 --> 00:03:16,248
you would've been tops
on my list, but...
95
00:03:16,273 --> 00:03:17,797
you know what, we intuited that,
96
00:03:17,827 --> 00:03:20,607
which is why we moved
so quickly to hire Joey.
97
00:03:20,632 --> 00:03:23,945
You might say we were
just all really "'NSYNC".
98
00:03:24,387 --> 00:03:25,337
There it is! There it is.
99
00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:26,367
You got it right in.
100
00:03:26,387 --> 00:03:27,866
You didn't have to wait
too long for that one.
101
00:03:27,890 --> 00:03:29,405
You see... see what I did there, Paige?
102
00:03:29,429 --> 00:03:33,057
I mean, look at the
talent right here together.
103
00:03:33,097 --> 00:03:35,885
I mean, can you feel
the electricity here?
104
00:03:35,910 --> 00:03:36,740
Whoa! Can you?
105
00:03:36,790 --> 00:03:38,843
- Oh!
- I feel I feel it!
106
00:03:38,868 --> 00:03:40,664
- Oh!
- I feel something all right.
107
00:03:41,444 --> 00:03:43,274
Yeah, absolutely right.
108
00:03:43,742 --> 00:03:45,672
So, I mean, I just cannot wait to
109
00:03:45,712 --> 00:03:48,312
see the magic you two
are gonna weave together.
110
00:03:48,342 --> 00:03:50,031
Oh, maybe we can give
you a little tickle?
111
00:03:50,056 --> 00:03:50,781
What?
112
00:03:50,806 --> 00:03:52,101
- A little taste.
- Oh. What?
113
00:03:52,126 --> 00:03:53,156
- What?
- Right here?
114
00:03:53,181 --> 00:03:54,366
Right here. Yeah, right now.
115
00:03:54,391 --> 00:03:55,766
Oh, okay. Joe.
Here, just sit there.
116
00:03:55,790 --> 00:03:57,496
Joey, come on, let's do it. It'll be
117
00:03:57,508 --> 00:03:59,179
great. Sit right there. Go ahead.
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00:03:59,296 --> 00:04:00,585
You could sit right over there.
119
00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:02,711
You know what... uh, and I'll
be of course the sidekick that
120
00:04:02,735 --> 00:04:05,242
sits on the couch. But you could
also be uhm, Alyssa Milano!
121
00:04:05,274 --> 00:04:07,515
Ah! I love her. We're in
the same yogalates class.
122
00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:08,540
Really?
123
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:09,820
Uh..
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00:04:09,845 --> 00:04:12,578
So, Alyssa, what you been up to?
125
00:04:12,727 --> 00:04:14,757
Well, I just got back from Rome.
126
00:04:14,992 --> 00:04:16,047
Rome?
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00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:17,625
Wasn't built in a day.
128
00:04:20,633 --> 00:04:23,623
Alyssa, uhm, when you were in Rome,
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00:04:23,648 --> 00:04:25,478
did you happen to see that big statue,
130
00:04:25,538 --> 00:04:26,844
that face that you put your hand in?
131
00:04:26,868 --> 00:04:28,044
Like in the movie "Roman Holiday?"
132
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:28,768
Yes.
133
00:04:28,788 --> 00:04:30,514
- I love that movie.
- Oh my gosh, I love it too.
134
00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:31,843
It's so great.
135
00:04:31,868 --> 00:04:34,553
Well, you know what, it's actually
called the Mouth of Truth.
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00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:35,158
Oh.
137
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:36,934
Legend has it,
that if you put your hand in there,
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00:04:36,958 --> 00:04:38,062
and you lie...
139
00:04:38,268 --> 00:04:41,234
Chop it right off! Gone. No more.
Blood spewing...
140
00:04:41,678 --> 00:04:43,464
and you know what,
I don't even have to go to Rome,
141
00:04:43,488 --> 00:04:45,618
'cause I get the same treatment
at home from my wife.
142
00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:48,208
Right?
143
00:04:48,996 --> 00:04:51,846
And you know what, at home, it's not
the hand that I'm worried about.
144
00:04:51,898 --> 00:04:53,324
Your wife's gonna cut
your whole [Bleep] off?
145
00:04:53,348 --> 00:04:54,348
Yes!
146
00:04:54,515 --> 00:04:56,054
Snip, snip. It's a bris.
147
00:04:56,079 --> 00:04:57,448
I'm not even Jewish.
148
00:04:58,598 --> 00:05:02,570
So Alyssa, uh, I
follow you on Instagram.
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00:05:02,766 --> 00:05:04,856
Boy, you're into breast feeding.
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00:05:10,007 --> 00:05:12,608
Uh, note to self, join Instagram.
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00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,304
'Cause I wanna see that.
152
00:05:15,738 --> 00:05:18,018
- Isn't he a hoot?
- Mama, mama.
153
00:05:18,038 --> 00:05:19,288
Aw!
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00:05:23,188 --> 00:05:25,858
You improvised on the
spot, with Joey Fatone?
155
00:05:25,878 --> 00:05:29,128
They sprung a dry run on me, Alex.
He was on fire!
156
00:05:29,168 --> 00:05:31,678
Oh my god, they're gonna
replace you with him.
157
00:05:31,718 --> 00:05:33,128
Now you're over reacting.
158
00:05:33,168 --> 00:05:34,437
Am I?
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00:05:34,718 --> 00:05:36,814
If they replace you with him before
the show even starts,
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00:05:36,838 --> 00:05:38,163
how is that gonna look, Joe?
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00:05:38,444 --> 00:05:41,164
You know what you can do with those
beautiful boy band lips of yours,
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00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:42,929
kiss your drama good-bye.
163
00:05:43,698 --> 00:05:45,156
Not to mention I'm going
to have to pull a lot
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00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:46,900
of money out of a very
lucrative investment.
165
00:05:46,948 --> 00:05:48,179
What investment?
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00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:51,148
Promise not to laugh,
but I spent 15,000 dollars
167
00:05:51,188 --> 00:05:52,687
on an exotic fish tank.
168
00:05:52,772 --> 00:05:54,458
Yeah, there's nothing funny about that.
169
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:57,374
- I know.
- Look, don't worry. I have a plan.
170
00:05:58,007 --> 00:06:01,147
Why in the world would you
go up against Joey Fatone?
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00:06:01,632 --> 00:06:03,798
If there's anything
any Joe should've known,
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00:06:03,828 --> 00:06:05,663
is you never go up against Fatone.
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00:06:05,688 --> 00:06:06,968
He's an American treasure.
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00:06:07,069 --> 00:06:09,718
Guy came in second place on
dancing with the stars, Joe.
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00:06:09,819 --> 00:06:12,437
Unlike you and Joey
Lawrence who came in third.
176
00:06:12,462 --> 00:06:14,278
I hear you, but I just need to
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00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:15,738
tighten up my comedy screws.
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00:06:15,778 --> 00:06:18,028
Now don't you know the guy
who runs the ha-ha room?
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00:06:18,233 --> 00:06:21,748
Yes, I do, and you know what.
I'm sure if I give him a call,
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00:06:21,778 --> 00:06:24,693
he'll let you go on tonight and
work out some new material.
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00:06:26,030 --> 00:06:27,668
Donnie! What's up, dawg?
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00:06:27,718 --> 00:06:28,718
It's Alex here.
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00:06:28,758 --> 00:06:30,114
Long time no talk, we gotta fix that.
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00:06:30,138 --> 00:06:32,078
Hey Blue Bloods, amazing.
185
00:06:32,108 --> 00:06:34,347
Quickly becoming my new
favorite show good job on that.
186
00:06:34,372 --> 00:06:35,342
And hi Jenny!
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00:06:35,366 --> 00:06:37,118
I read your baby book
on how to have a baby,
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00:06:37,168 --> 00:06:39,168
super informative. Makes
me wanna have one myself,
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00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:40,804
but I can't because I'm a dude.
190
00:06:42,125 --> 00:06:43,194
You guys good?
191
00:06:43,468 --> 00:06:44,468
Jenny?
192
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,843
Donnie? Donnie?
193
00:06:47,134 --> 00:06:48,134
They hung up.
194
00:06:48,858 --> 00:06:49,908
Still here.
195
00:06:49,948 --> 00:06:52,585
- Oop! Donnie, Alex...
- Thank you, Donnie.
196
00:06:52,918 --> 00:06:54,607
You're welcome, Joe. Good luck tonight.
197
00:06:54,632 --> 00:06:55,640
Thanks, buddy.
198
00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,548
- What?
- What did we agree on?
199
00:07:00,249 --> 00:07:00,938
Uh...
200
00:07:00,972 --> 00:07:03,372
Until you meet Jenny
McCarthy in person...
201
00:07:03,408 --> 00:07:04,914
...don't build a friendship
with her on the phone.
202
00:07:04,938 --> 00:07:06,134
Don't act like you're best friends.
203
00:07:06,158 --> 00:07:08,170
Your attitude about my
friendship with Jenny McCarthy
204
00:07:08,194 --> 00:07:10,228
is really starting to
affect me personally.
205
00:07:10,248 --> 00:07:11,398
Just remember what I said.
206
00:07:11,418 --> 00:07:13,405
- I say to her...
- Don't talk to her any more.
207
00:07:16,758 --> 00:07:19,008
Come play with us in the fort, Flan.
208
00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:19,838
Oh.
209
00:07:19,878 --> 00:07:21,538
I love your enthusiasm, Griffin.
210
00:07:21,558 --> 00:07:22,928
But this is a yurt.
211
00:07:22,978 --> 00:07:25,098
The center of our commune,
where you can share ideas,
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00:07:25,148 --> 00:07:27,124
food, and natural deodorant.
213
00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:29,608
Oh goodness.
214
00:07:29,890 --> 00:07:32,062
- Whale alert. I have to go.
- Now?
215
00:07:32,163 --> 00:07:33,888
I'm sorry. There's a
beached Grey Whale and it
216
00:07:33,908 --> 00:07:35,225
needs to be pushed back in the ocean.
217
00:07:35,249 --> 00:07:37,015
Flan, I'm on a deadline.
218
00:07:37,158 --> 00:07:39,528
I could stay, but the whale will die.
219
00:07:39,558 --> 00:07:41,763
You can't let the whale die, Mommy.
220
00:07:41,788 --> 00:07:44,368
We can't let the whale die, just go.
221
00:07:44,378 --> 00:07:45,828
Gratitude, Barrett. Thank you.
222
00:07:46,108 --> 00:07:46,998
Oh, namaste.
223
00:07:47,038 --> 00:07:48,748
Hey, back at you there head band.
224
00:07:49,088 --> 00:07:51,483
- Hey kids, what's up?
- Uncle Joey!
225
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,038
Nice little bear, you can tie it up,
226
00:07:53,058 --> 00:07:55,515
and just take its head off and
everything. It's always fun.
227
00:07:55,710 --> 00:07:58,388
Joey! Great to see you!
What a surprise.
228
00:07:58,413 --> 00:08:00,155
Hey, Barrett. You know, I
just wanted to come by
229
00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:01,494
and thank Joe so much for the gig.
230
00:08:01,518 --> 00:08:03,919
Oh, he told me about that.
It's so exciting.
231
00:08:03,944 --> 00:08:06,718
- But he's not here, and I am slammed.
- Oh.
232
00:08:06,738 --> 00:08:08,905
- I just lost the Manny for the day.
- Oh, that's too bad.
233
00:08:08,929 --> 00:08:11,738
Well... Fatone can help.
I can watch the little monkeys for you.
234
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,078
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, it's the boy band code.
235
00:08:14,108 --> 00:08:15,674
We look out for each other.
That's what we do.
236
00:08:15,698 --> 00:08:18,078
- Oh you're the best! Thank you.
- No problem.
237
00:08:18,118 --> 00:08:19,698
And... is that a yurt?
238
00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:27,122
Okay, I get it, my airplane seat
doubles as a flotation device,
239
00:08:27,147 --> 00:08:30,327
but would it kill 'em to make my tray
table double as a parachute?
240
00:08:31,848 --> 00:08:35,647
Airplane jokes, huh?
Good luck with that.
241
00:08:41,832 --> 00:08:43,824
Hey honey, I'm working on my
stand-up for this gig tonight,
242
00:08:43,848 --> 00:08:46,210
- so I won't be home till later.
- That's okay.
243
00:08:46,249 --> 00:08:49,824
Joey Fatone came over.
He's so great with the kids.
244
00:08:49,849 --> 00:08:52,779
Oh great. That Fatone really
does it all, doesn't he.
245
00:09:36,219 --> 00:09:37,219
What's going on?
246
00:09:37,351 --> 00:09:41,046
Oh. I got the over night
rating for celebrity dental disasters.
247
00:09:41,071 --> 00:09:42,624
No one is watching.
248
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:45,476
So is this a bad time to tell you
about Henry Winkler?
249
00:09:45,968 --> 00:09:47,218
What about Henry Winkler?
250
00:09:47,248 --> 00:09:49,351
He's dropping out of
Henry Winkler's Pizza Hunt.
251
00:09:49,376 --> 00:09:50,819
Apparently he's gone gluten-free.
252
00:09:50,919 --> 00:09:51,749
Ugh.
253
00:09:51,774 --> 00:09:53,968
Could this day get any worse?
254
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:55,077
Hmm.
255
00:09:55,102 --> 00:09:57,249
And I can't find my prescription mints.
256
00:09:57,867 --> 00:10:00,247
I was sure I had them in
the meeting this morning.
257
00:10:00,272 --> 00:10:01,672
Ugh, never mind.
258
00:10:01,897 --> 00:10:04,267
Soozie, code black. This is not a drill.
259
00:10:09,992 --> 00:10:11,671
I wasn't looking.
260
00:10:19,222 --> 00:10:21,892
Just a thought, but maybe
those mints aren't helping.
261
00:10:21,917 --> 00:10:23,423
Mmm, if they weren't helping then
262
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:24,998
why would they be so readily available
263
00:10:25,038 --> 00:10:26,593
for purchase on German websites.
264
00:10:26,618 --> 00:10:27,748
I'm just saying.
265
00:10:27,788 --> 00:10:29,708
The Sam I knew was a development beast
266
00:10:29,758 --> 00:10:32,297
who never would've green-lit the
Minnesota Butter Face competition.
267
00:10:32,321 --> 00:10:33,574
How was I suppose to know it was
268
00:10:33,598 --> 00:10:35,202
a butter carving contest?
269
00:10:35,227 --> 00:10:38,796
I thought it was beauty
pageant for skugly fugs.
270
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:44,608
Besides, my Zomprixazols always
want what's best for me.
271
00:10:44,999 --> 00:10:46,335
Don't you my darlings?
272
00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:49,080
I'll leave you with your darlings,
273
00:10:49,105 --> 00:10:51,608
- I'll be doing work.
- Okay, skinny. Bye.
274
00:10:52,148 --> 00:10:53,148
Keep walking.
275
00:10:57,019 --> 00:10:58,530
Anytime I'm running...
276
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:00,841
How dare you?
277
00:11:02,038 --> 00:11:03,818
Joe, you don't need to be nervous, okay.
278
00:11:03,838 --> 00:11:05,134
It's not even about the material.
279
00:11:05,158 --> 00:11:06,088
It's all in the delivery.
280
00:11:06,128 --> 00:11:07,958
When the best comics
in the world struggle,
281
00:11:07,998 --> 00:11:08,828
you know what they do,
282
00:11:08,848 --> 00:11:10,098
they get real close to the mike
283
00:11:10,123 --> 00:11:12,585
and they whisper the
punch line like this.
284
00:11:12,788 --> 00:11:13,913
That's all you got?
285
00:11:14,319 --> 00:11:15,768
Joe, I've seen Whoopi Goldberg
286
00:11:15,798 --> 00:11:17,522
and Sinbad, twice, live.
287
00:11:17,668 --> 00:11:21,327
And every time they went like
this, and the crowd went nuts.
288
00:11:21,351 --> 00:11:24,389
Up next, we have a very
special treat for you guys.
289
00:11:24,414 --> 00:11:26,671
I saw him back in the
dressing room, and man!
290
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,270
Can he wear a pair of jeans.
291
00:11:28,804 --> 00:11:32,037
Ladies, you'll recognize him
from your bedroom walls,
292
00:11:32,062 --> 00:11:34,521
'cause he is absolutely
the cutest one from
293
00:11:34,546 --> 00:11:35,749
New Kids on the Block.
294
00:11:35,774 --> 00:11:37,585
Please welcome, Joey McIntyre.
295
00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:42,944
Yeah, good to be here.
296
00:11:43,358 --> 00:11:45,179
So, here's something to ponder...
297
00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:47,288
anybody here hate snow?
298
00:11:47,905 --> 00:11:50,908
You ever wonder how the
snow plow guy gets to work?
299
00:11:51,507 --> 00:11:52,765
Huh? In the morning?
300
00:11:52,969 --> 00:11:55,219
Does he call the other snow plow truck
301
00:11:55,244 --> 00:11:57,358
to get him to his snow plow truck?
302
00:11:58,437 --> 00:11:59,491
Wow.
303
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,679
Or does he just walk?
304
00:12:02,293 --> 00:12:03,343
Are you serious?
305
00:12:04,609 --> 00:12:05,812
You suck, man!
306
00:12:08,089 --> 00:12:09,522
Remember pixie sticks?
307
00:12:10,616 --> 00:12:13,499
The long... I mean, no one needs
that much sugar, huh.
308
00:12:14,606 --> 00:12:15,757
Ah...
309
00:12:16,663 --> 00:12:19,202
Anybody? Yeah, I hate snow, um.
310
00:12:21,056 --> 00:12:22,241
Snow?
311
00:12:22,579 --> 00:12:25,549
Joe, don't let it get to you, all right.
That crowd sucked.
312
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,483
They have no idea what comedy is.
313
00:12:28,023 --> 00:12:30,473
Don't look so blue, new kid.
314
00:12:30,765 --> 00:12:32,062
Comedy's tough.
315
00:12:32,522 --> 00:12:35,327
When you're starting out, it's
best to stick with what you know.
316
00:12:35,819 --> 00:12:39,009
You're from Boston, why don't you
talk about being from Boston?
317
00:12:39,437 --> 00:12:42,179
- People love Boston.
- People do love Boston.
318
00:12:42,483 --> 00:12:43,804
Of course they do!
319
00:12:44,069 --> 00:12:47,622
You got the Boston Red Sox,
the Boston Celtics, Tom Brady,
320
00:12:47,647 --> 00:12:48,732
the Boston Strangler...
321
00:12:48,757 --> 00:12:51,609
- Dunkin' Donuts.
- That's uh, national.
322
00:12:51,639 --> 00:12:53,357
Hey, I can talk about the New Kids.
323
00:12:53,382 --> 00:12:55,226
Couple of road stories,
or something like that.
324
00:12:55,304 --> 00:12:57,159
Yes, behind the scenes.
Personal, I love that.
325
00:12:57,199 --> 00:12:59,624
Yes. Of course. You get
right back on that horse.
326
00:12:59,649 --> 00:13:01,479
- Here?
- No. They said never again.
327
00:13:01,499 --> 00:13:02,515
- Oh.
- Yeah.
328
00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:04,444
I'm gonna do a new spot after this.
329
00:13:04,632 --> 00:13:05,672
Come with.
330
00:13:05,796 --> 00:13:08,044
- We'll work on new stuff on the way.
- Really?
331
00:13:08,069 --> 00:13:09,312
- Yeah!
- I'm in.
332
00:13:09,337 --> 00:13:11,040
I'm just gonna call the wife
and tell her not to wait up.
333
00:13:11,064 --> 00:13:12,209
- Great.
- Done.
334
00:13:12,234 --> 00:13:13,116
Great.
335
00:13:13,179 --> 00:13:14,913
- Back on the horse.
- [Neighs]
336
00:13:21,519 --> 00:13:24,205
- That is going to kill in this place.
- You think so?
337
00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:26,171
- Trust me.
- Oh man.
338
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,312
Wait a minute. This is a strip club?
339
00:13:30,081 --> 00:13:32,327
Relax. It's Comedy Night.
340
00:13:42,913 --> 00:13:45,343
No, but the guy has beautiful hands.
341
00:13:45,444 --> 00:13:47,974
I guess I'm gonna bring my
soap on a rope next time.
342
00:13:47,999 --> 00:13:49,435
No, seriously, I said,
343
00:13:49,460 --> 00:13:51,490
"Guy, I'm flattered but
it's New Kids on the Block
344
00:13:51,515 --> 00:13:53,249
not New Kids on the [Bleep] ."
345
00:13:55,329 --> 00:13:57,549
Thank you, good night!
Thank you so much.
346
00:13:57,574 --> 00:13:58,574
No!
347
00:14:00,949 --> 00:14:03,202
- That was amazing, amazing!
- Thank you, wow, thank you.
348
00:14:03,254 --> 00:14:04,444
- You killed it.
- Good job.
349
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,625
- Yes, thank you.
- Unbelievable.
350
00:14:05,649 --> 00:14:08,460
- Now I'm ready, now I'm ready.
- Yes, yes!
351
00:14:20,671 --> 00:14:22,369
Maybe Paige is right.
352
00:14:22,608 --> 00:14:25,929
I am losing my edge
and it is your fault.
353
00:14:26,937 --> 00:14:30,469
I don't need you anymore.
I can stand on my own two feet.
354
00:14:30,651 --> 00:14:32,681
You're nothing without us.
355
00:14:36,131 --> 00:14:37,351
Soozie!
356
00:14:39,022 --> 00:14:40,602
I never thought it would come to this.
357
00:14:40,843 --> 00:14:43,726
But it is time for
Operation Royal Flush.
358
00:14:44,046 --> 00:14:48,116
That's right. Round up all
the pills and flush them...
359
00:14:48,319 --> 00:14:51,366
- You don't mean all the pills?
- All the pills.
360
00:14:52,085 --> 00:14:53,165
Okay.
361
00:14:56,905 --> 00:15:00,679
- And that's my youngest, Kira.
- Aw, so cute.
362
00:15:02,671 --> 00:15:05,663
Joe, uh my new friends...
363
00:15:07,419 --> 00:15:10,139
want to get my opinion on
their matching tattoos.
364
00:15:10,189 --> 00:15:12,038
Well I got to get home so make it quick.
365
00:15:12,155 --> 00:15:13,689
Oh it will be quick.
366
00:15:13,991 --> 00:15:15,171
It always is.
367
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,615
And here's my Caleb.
368
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:18,835
Oh your son?
369
00:15:18,867 --> 00:15:20,444
Grandson, yeah.
370
00:15:28,812 --> 00:15:31,763
So I paid for the 10,000
BTU air conditioner
371
00:15:31,788 --> 00:15:33,979
but then I got the 4,000 BTU unit.
372
00:15:34,069 --> 00:15:37,929
I mean, come on, it's Bakersfield
all right. It's freaking hot.
373
00:16:17,569 --> 00:16:19,535
Hey, you've reached
Joe Legs Productions.
374
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,393
Leave a message after the beep.
375
00:16:21,533 --> 00:16:24,030
Alex, you are unbelievable.
Where the hell are you?
376
00:16:24,055 --> 00:16:25,416
I have a production meeting at nine
377
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,572
at the Comfy Channel and
Barrett's gonna kill me.
378
00:16:28,166 --> 00:16:29,987
Your Fluger has arrived.
379
00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:33,612
Oh my God. Flan, you are a life saver.
380
00:16:33,674 --> 00:16:34,962
How did you know I was here?
381
00:16:34,987 --> 00:16:37,290
Joe, we're all connected
on a spiritual plane
382
00:16:37,315 --> 00:16:40,059
that no one can ever
really truly understand.
383
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,526
And Barrett used find my iPhone.
384
00:16:43,119 --> 00:16:45,440
Oh my God, thank you, thank you.
385
00:16:45,465 --> 00:16:47,807
Oh, I so appreciate it.
386
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:50,839
Uh, oh, uh, what's that smell?
387
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,837
Mm, yeah that's a
mixture of beached whale
388
00:16:53,862 --> 00:16:56,899
and fifteen or so stray
cats who I shelter in my car.
389
00:16:56,994 --> 00:16:59,666
- Oh, okay.
- They do pee more than I'd like.
390
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:04,776
Joe!
391
00:17:08,783 --> 00:17:12,635
They took my wallet, my clothes, my car.
392
00:17:15,629 --> 00:17:16,971
Best night of my life.
393
00:17:19,243 --> 00:17:20,243
Joe?
394
00:17:22,491 --> 00:17:23,502
Joe?
395
00:17:28,479 --> 00:17:29,479
Hi honey.
396
00:17:32,799 --> 00:17:33,799
Sugar bear?
397
00:17:34,104 --> 00:17:36,526
How was your night and your morning?
398
00:17:36,705 --> 00:17:38,408
Yeah, about that.
399
00:17:38,580 --> 00:17:41,276
Thank god you sent Flan.
I wouldn't have made it home.
400
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,489
You could've got a ride home
with the stripper.
401
00:17:43,768 --> 00:17:45,329
Oh come on. It wasn't like that.
402
00:17:45,354 --> 00:17:47,993
I spent the whole time showing
Candy pictures of our kids.
403
00:17:48,018 --> 00:17:50,026
Candy? You're on a first name basis?
404
00:17:50,143 --> 00:17:51,547
Strippers don't have last names.
405
00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,579
Well what was Candy showing you?
406
00:17:53,604 --> 00:17:55,063
Come on, you know that's not me.
407
00:17:55,088 --> 00:17:57,639
I know. It's Alex but you went
with him to a strip club.
408
00:17:57,689 --> 00:18:01,133
Well, to be fair it was Comedy Night
and I was there to tell jokes.
409
00:18:01,158 --> 00:18:03,119
That's like saying you
just went for the buffet.
410
00:18:03,204 --> 00:18:04,794
Which was amazing, actually.
411
00:18:05,674 --> 00:18:07,779
Salad bar was huge. You'd love it.
412
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,990
Come on, you know I would
never do anything like that.
413
00:18:13,283 --> 00:18:14,893
So, are we done?
414
00:18:15,768 --> 00:18:17,259
Have I squirmed enough?
415
00:18:17,284 --> 00:18:18,284
Maybe.
416
00:18:19,369 --> 00:18:21,339
- For today.
- Awesome.
417
00:18:21,408 --> 00:18:23,328
Because I killed. I killed.
418
00:18:23,378 --> 00:18:25,479
I'm ready to hold my own with Fatone.
419
00:18:26,643 --> 00:18:29,455
You fired Fatone?
He's an American treasure.
420
00:18:29,627 --> 00:18:31,727
Joseph, I am an executive and I made an
421
00:18:31,767 --> 00:18:35,922
executive decision to remove any
hint of comedy from the show.
422
00:18:35,947 --> 00:18:37,449
Hence, the firing of Fatone.
423
00:18:37,807 --> 00:18:39,969
I've been up all night
working on my stand-up.
424
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,930
I, too, have been up
all night asking myself
425
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,760
"Why is this show such a catastrophe?"
426
00:18:46,237 --> 00:18:47,565
And then it hit me.
427
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,109
You're not funny.
428
00:18:49,580 --> 00:18:52,391
Comedy's definitely not your thing.
We get that now, Joe.
429
00:18:52,416 --> 00:18:55,665
Uh, excuse me? There is a
club full of patrons in
430
00:18:55,690 --> 00:18:58,224
Bakersfield who think
I'm pretty hilarious.
431
00:18:58,612 --> 00:19:00,143
You guys can see me, right?
432
00:19:01,994 --> 00:19:04,338
Okay, so comedy's out. Now what?
433
00:19:04,619 --> 00:19:07,634
Uh, what you're known for... music.
434
00:19:07,659 --> 00:19:10,783
It's why we fell in love with you
in the first place, Joe.
435
00:19:14,476 --> 00:19:16,396
We're gonna need a killer band and that
436
00:19:16,408 --> 00:19:18,440
starts with a serious musical director.
437
00:19:18,543 --> 00:19:20,153
Hired someone already!
438
00:19:20,283 --> 00:19:23,196
Oh, thank you for making
me part of that discussion.
439
00:19:23,221 --> 00:19:26,016
He was referred personally
by Mr. Joey Fatone.
440
00:19:26,041 --> 00:19:28,274
We think you are really
going to love him.
441
00:19:28,299 --> 00:19:31,073
In fact, I think the two of
you are going to be quite
442
00:19:31,317 --> 00:19:32,338
"'NSYNC".
443
00:19:32,984 --> 00:19:33,830
No.
444
00:19:33,855 --> 00:19:35,807
We got Chris Kirkpatrick.
445
00:19:40,284 --> 00:19:41,764
Ah, Uncle Joe!
446
00:19:41,784 --> 00:19:43,880
What's up buddy? Looks like we're
gonna be working together.
447
00:19:43,904 --> 00:19:45,072
Hey check this out.
448
00:19:53,257 --> 00:19:54,257
I got this.
449
00:19:55,822 --> 00:19:56,822
[Bleep]
450
00:20:01,878 --> 00:20:06,315
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451
00:20:06,365 --> 00:20:10,915
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