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1
00:00:04,737 --> 00:00:07,606
Captioning made possible by
mtv networks
2
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:08,773
Ok! Today we're
jumping the shark.
3
00:00:08,808 --> 00:00:10,508
[cheering]
4
00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:11,876
Yeah. That's right.
5
00:00:11,910 --> 00:00:14,913
We're jumping
the god damn shark to fight autism.
6
00:00:14,947 --> 00:00:16,381
Today we got it
all worked out,
7
00:00:16,415 --> 00:00:18,016
And here we go.
8
00:00:18,050 --> 00:00:19,417
Third time's a charm.
Good eye.
9
00:00:19,451 --> 00:00:21,519
Clemmy:
I'm not sure about this.
10
00:00:21,553 --> 00:00:23,121
[starter pistol fires]
11
00:00:24,823 --> 00:00:26,391
Aah! Ha ha!
12
00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:27,559
Yeah!
13
00:00:27,593 --> 00:00:29,861
[screams]
14
00:00:29,896 --> 00:00:31,162
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god!
15
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,965
Oh, my god!
He's spitting up blood!
16
00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:37,168
Sheriff's department
freeze! Get on the ground.
17
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:38,169
Freeze!
18
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,038
[gunfire]
19
00:00:44,009 --> 00:00:46,378
Ohhh!
20
00:00:46,412 --> 00:00:48,580
What?
What?
21
00:00:49,381 --> 00:00:51,282
All right.
22
00:00:52,818 --> 00:00:53,785
This is not a show!
23
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:55,687
The tornado.
No!
24
00:00:57,423 --> 00:00:59,691
Hell, no!
We won't blow!
25
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:02,326
Yeah!
26
00:01:02,361 --> 00:01:04,362
He's my friend.
27
00:01:04,396 --> 00:01:06,331
Man: Hey. Good...
28
00:01:06,365 --> 00:01:09,000
Yah!
29
00:01:09,034 --> 00:01:10,801
Junior: Right on the ground.
Put it right on the ground.
30
00:01:10,836 --> 00:01:13,404
Aah!
31
00:01:18,544 --> 00:01:19,244
Dangle: Good morning, gang.
32
00:01:19,278 --> 00:01:20,378
Morning.
Morning.
33
00:01:20,412 --> 00:01:22,513
Uh, if you see cats
in the building today,
34
00:01:22,548 --> 00:01:23,915
These are working cats.
35
00:01:23,949 --> 00:01:25,816
Do not interfere
with them.
36
00:01:25,851 --> 00:01:28,653
Honestly, I think the
vermin control people
37
00:01:28,688 --> 00:01:30,722
Were just out of ideas.
38
00:01:30,756 --> 00:01:32,524
So they're going
old school.
39
00:01:32,558 --> 00:01:35,960
Uh, Junior and Garcia,
today's the day--
40
00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:37,094
Hoy es la dia.
41
00:01:37,129 --> 00:01:38,330
Yeah, hoy es la dia.
42
00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:40,464
We just wanted
to stop by and give everybody one last chance
43
00:01:40,499 --> 00:01:41,966
To come along with us.
44
00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:43,735
Gonna be gone for
two days,
45
00:01:43,769 --> 00:01:46,070
Gonna be down
on the border.
46
00:01:46,104 --> 00:01:48,372
I think if we could
go down there with a contingency of 8,
47
00:01:48,407 --> 00:01:50,909
It would really make
Washoe county look real good.
48
00:01:50,943 --> 00:01:52,176
- Going down there
to do what? - What's the program?
49
00:01:52,211 --> 00:01:54,579
We are doing the good
fences make good neighbors program.
50
00:01:54,613 --> 00:01:58,850
Basically, we are gonna
build together 1/8 of a mile of fencing
51
00:01:58,884 --> 00:02:01,219
On the Mexican border to help
keep out Mexicans.
52
00:02:01,253 --> 00:02:02,554
It's symbolic.
53
00:02:02,588 --> 00:02:04,456
They're trying to send
down a team from every county in the nation.
54
00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:05,790
And county by county,
55
00:02:05,824 --> 00:02:07,592
1/8 by 1/8, we'll have
a whole wall there. From Tijuana to--
56
00:02:07,626 --> 00:02:09,794
So you're building
a symbolic wall?
57
00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:11,863
So it's not really,
you're just sort of pantomiming it?
58
00:02:11,897 --> 00:02:13,498
- No, it's a real--
- no, it's a real
59
00:02:13,532 --> 00:02:17,768
Home depot material wall
that will symbolize--
60
00:02:17,803 --> 00:02:20,137
It won't actually
symbolize, it's literal.
61
00:02:20,172 --> 00:02:21,439
- It's both.
- It's both.
62
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,707
It's symbolic
and literal.
63
00:02:22,741 --> 00:02:23,541
Yeah.
64
00:02:23,575 --> 00:02:27,445
If I could be
the voice of smartness,
65
00:02:27,479 --> 00:02:28,880
I think it's wrong.
66
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:30,315
- In what way?
- In what way? Please uh...
67
00:02:30,349 --> 00:02:32,150
- Enlighten us.
- In all ways.
68
00:02:32,184 --> 00:02:36,021
I believe that all people
of all cultures,
69
00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,255
Colors, creeds have
come to this--
70
00:02:37,289 --> 00:02:39,524
I have a dream!
71
00:02:39,558 --> 00:02:42,093
I gots a dream.
We know.
72
00:02:42,127 --> 00:02:44,596
So, basically, it's
like, you're going out to the desert
73
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:46,698
With a bunch of guys
and beers and doing--
74
00:02:46,732 --> 00:02:50,902
It's like burning man
for right-wing rednecks.
75
00:02:50,936 --> 00:02:53,037
Yeah. We'll be shooting
guns, too, though.
76
00:02:56,208 --> 00:02:59,944
We got a 911 call up here
at the national forest
77
00:02:59,979 --> 00:03:01,145
From one of the rangers.
78
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:03,047
I guess that's him
right here.
79
00:03:03,081 --> 00:03:05,617
- Hey!
- Hurry, hurry, hurry!
80
00:03:05,651 --> 00:03:06,484
Sheriff's department.
81
00:03:06,518 --> 00:03:08,920
I got bit.
I think it was a rattlesnake.
82
00:03:08,954 --> 00:03:10,922
I don't know for sure,
but I don't have a snake bite kit.
83
00:03:10,956 --> 00:03:13,158
I don't know how long
it takes for the venom to go through me!
84
00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:14,258
Calm down, sir.
85
00:03:14,293 --> 00:03:15,927
Where was it--where
did you get bit, sir?
86
00:03:15,961 --> 00:03:17,562
Where did you get--?
87
00:03:17,596 --> 00:03:19,563
It kind of
leaped out, look.
88
00:03:19,598 --> 00:03:21,566
Oh, whoa, uh...
89
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:26,238
Thank god I'm shaved.
You can probably see the bite a lot easier, huh?
90
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:28,773
Look a little closer,
by the taint.
91
00:03:28,807 --> 00:03:30,575
Trudy: Hey, guys,
sheriff's department.
92
00:03:30,609 --> 00:03:32,176
What's going
on here?
93
00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:33,178
This gentleman seems
to have been bit--
94
00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:34,745
I got bit by
a rattlesnake!
95
00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:36,214
You guys got to move
quickly!
96
00:03:36,248 --> 00:03:37,915
- Oh, my god.
- Look, look, look!
97
00:03:37,950 --> 00:03:40,184
You know, if one
of you peels back the foreskin,
98
00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:41,986
It should be
easier to see.
99
00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:44,556
Well, no, it isn't.
100
00:03:44,590 --> 00:03:46,758
If you didn't have
so much ball powder on there,
101
00:03:46,792 --> 00:03:47,758
It'd be easier
to see.
102
00:03:47,793 --> 00:03:50,295
Oh! You know what? Oh!
Feeling a lot better.
103
00:03:50,329 --> 00:03:52,464
Thank you very much.
You were great.
104
00:03:59,972 --> 00:04:02,573
I called you guys
about some guy out here
105
00:04:02,608 --> 00:04:04,475
Showing people
his wiener.
106
00:04:12,718 --> 00:04:15,152
Oh!
Oh! Hello, yuma!
107
00:04:15,187 --> 00:04:17,388
Hola, hombres.
108
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,390
Hey!
What's up, man?
109
00:04:19,424 --> 00:04:22,259
Hey, lyle!
How's your mama doing?
110
00:04:22,294 --> 00:04:23,994
- She's all right,
you know. - She good?
111
00:04:24,029 --> 00:04:26,931
Yeah. Her boob's
back on.
112
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:28,366
Oh, yeah.
113
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,368
They figured out a way
to put it back on there.
114
00:04:30,402 --> 00:04:32,704
You saved it
on an ice chest or what--?
115
00:04:32,738 --> 00:04:34,071
Yeah. We saved it
on ice; we froze it.
116
00:04:34,106 --> 00:04:35,506
And then they
thawed it out
117
00:04:35,540 --> 00:04:37,708
And figured out a way
to sew it back on.
118
00:04:37,743 --> 00:04:39,443
That was terrible
when I heard about that thing.
119
00:04:39,478 --> 00:04:40,945
It was my fault.
It was my bad.
120
00:04:40,979 --> 00:04:41,879
It was an accident.
121
00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:42,980
Well...Ya know,
water under the bridge...
122
00:04:43,015 --> 00:04:43,948
Water under--
123
00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:45,149
- Good to see you again.
- Yeah, I hear you.
124
00:04:45,184 --> 00:04:47,051
Greatest damn country
on earth.
125
00:04:47,085 --> 00:04:48,219
You know what's great
about this country
126
00:04:48,253 --> 00:04:49,754
Is that just like our
forefathers before us,
127
00:04:49,788 --> 00:04:51,489
Benjamin Franklin
probably stood
128
00:04:51,523 --> 00:04:53,157
On a spot similar
to this one
129
00:04:53,192 --> 00:04:54,692
And said to himself,
130
00:04:54,727 --> 00:04:56,193
"let's fuck it.
Let's make a country."
131
00:04:56,228 --> 00:04:58,730
And that's what
we're doing right now. We're making a country.
132
00:04:58,764 --> 00:05:01,932
I pledge allegiance
to the flag...
133
00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:03,033
Whoo!
134
00:05:03,068 --> 00:05:04,703
Of the United States
of america.
135
00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:05,703
Ow!
136
00:05:05,737 --> 00:05:08,573
And to the republic
for which it stands,
137
00:05:08,607 --> 00:05:13,044
One nation, indivisible,
divisible, under god,
138
00:05:13,078 --> 00:05:16,814
In liberty and justice
for all.
139
00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:25,990
Sweet.
140
00:05:26,024 --> 00:05:28,359
Hey, Joe!
Man: Hey, Jim.
141
00:05:28,393 --> 00:05:30,027
How them roller blades
working out?
142
00:05:30,062 --> 00:05:32,564
Eh...
They're all right.
143
00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:33,698
Look at this.
144
00:05:33,732 --> 00:05:35,332
They still do
lemonade stands.
145
00:05:35,367 --> 00:05:38,736
They do.
You know what I'm talking about.
146
00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:41,472
The orientals are
more industrious than us.
147
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:42,907
Look at that.
Look at you go.
148
00:05:42,941 --> 00:05:45,777
You know what?
I'm a little bit light.
149
00:05:45,811 --> 00:05:48,312
- How about a freebee?
- No.
150
00:05:48,346 --> 00:05:49,447
- What?
- No.
151
00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:51,649
- No? You said no?
- No. No.
152
00:05:51,683 --> 00:05:53,017
- To a freebee?
- No.
153
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,285
- Law enforcement
discount. - No.
154
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,888
- No?
- No.
155
00:05:56,922 --> 00:05:58,089
- Come on.
- No.
156
00:05:58,123 --> 00:05:59,089
- Come on.
- No.
157
00:05:59,124 --> 00:06:00,091
- Come on.
- No.
158
00:06:00,125 --> 00:06:01,125
- Come on.
- No.
159
00:06:01,159 --> 00:06:02,126
Come on!
160
00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:03,661
Do you know that
you need a license
161
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,463
To operate a business
in Washoe county?
162
00:06:05,497 --> 00:06:06,964
Do you know that?
163
00:06:06,998 --> 00:06:08,232
You got a food
and beverage license?
164
00:06:08,266 --> 00:06:10,168
Huh? Do ya?
165
00:06:11,470 --> 00:06:13,037
Aah! Aah!
166
00:06:13,071 --> 00:06:15,039
Oh! Aah!
167
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:19,277
[screaming]
168
00:06:22,514 --> 00:06:25,449
[gunfire]
169
00:06:29,187 --> 00:06:32,123
Whoo!
Whoo!
170
00:06:34,593 --> 00:06:36,594
[cheering]
171
00:06:39,231 --> 00:06:42,967
What else can we shoot?
Let's shoot something else.
172
00:06:43,001 --> 00:06:44,869
- How about the gas can?
- That's a good idea.
173
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,103
- Yeah. I like that.
- Let's do it.
174
00:06:46,138 --> 00:06:47,404
Junior:
Find a good spot, Lyle.
175
00:06:47,439 --> 00:06:48,840
If you hit it
at the bottom,
176
00:06:48,874 --> 00:06:50,742
You'll blow up the
whole "Hugo" there.
177
00:06:50,776 --> 00:06:53,911
Grab ole Condi Rice
there; see what she'll do.
178
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:55,579
- All right, Condi.
- All right, Jimmy Jam!
179
00:06:55,614 --> 00:06:56,814
Yoo!
All right.
180
00:06:56,848 --> 00:06:58,783
Vaya con dios,
gas cano.
181
00:07:06,625 --> 00:07:10,161
I think you just
missed about 400 times in less than 4 seconds.
182
00:07:10,195 --> 00:07:13,031
That's got to be some
kind of god damn record.
183
00:07:16,902 --> 00:07:18,670
We have a very serious
problem here in Reno
184
00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:20,638
On the public
transportation system
185
00:07:20,673 --> 00:07:23,441
With older, creepy,
pedophiles and perverts
186
00:07:23,475 --> 00:07:28,479
Groping our young ladies
on their way to and from school.
187
00:07:28,513 --> 00:07:31,048
We have a small camera here
in this package of
188
00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:32,883
Rex cigarettes.
189
00:07:32,918 --> 00:07:34,518
Testing, 1, 2, 3, 4.
190
00:07:34,553 --> 00:07:35,986
The lips, the tip of
the tongue, the teeth.
191
00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:37,355
The lips, the tip of
the tongue, the teeth.
192
00:07:37,389 --> 00:07:39,957
Uh, here's our
jailbait herself, Trudy Wiegel,
193
00:07:39,992 --> 00:07:42,293
- Dressed as a young
school mistress. - Hello!
194
00:07:42,327 --> 00:07:43,627
Here we go.
Here's the bus.
195
00:07:43,662 --> 00:07:45,997
And we shall snap
into action.
196
00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:48,333
All right.
197
00:07:50,568 --> 00:07:52,369
Echo base
to ladybug.
198
00:07:52,403 --> 00:07:56,007
Check, check,
I hear you fine.
199
00:07:56,041 --> 00:07:59,043
Uh-oh, I just dropped
my delicious lollipop
200
00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:02,012
- That I was gonna eat
with my tongue. - Very good.
201
00:08:02,047 --> 00:08:04,114
- Ohh, I can get it.
- Excellent.
202
00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:06,384
And he is...
I can't read him from here.
203
00:08:06,418 --> 00:08:08,152
I can't read him from here.
I can't read him from here.
204
00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:11,322
Ohh!
We lost him. We lost him.
205
00:08:11,356 --> 00:08:12,290
We lost him.
206
00:08:12,324 --> 00:08:13,724
Hawaiian shirt wants to
tug one off on you.
207
00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:15,259
Go, do it, work it.
208
00:08:15,293 --> 00:08:17,194
Gosh, it's even more
bouncy up here
209
00:08:17,229 --> 00:08:18,395
Than it is back there.
210
00:08:18,429 --> 00:08:20,664
I don't know how you guys
are even standing still.
211
00:08:20,699 --> 00:08:22,332
Excellent.
I'm ready to pounce.
212
00:08:22,367 --> 00:08:25,403
My boobs are going
all over the place.
213
00:08:25,437 --> 00:08:26,904
It's so bouncy up here.
214
00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:27,871
Excellent.
215
00:08:27,906 --> 00:08:29,207
I can't see from
my position.
216
00:08:29,241 --> 00:08:30,508
Does he have
an erection, ladybug?
217
00:08:30,542 --> 00:08:32,710
Does he have
an erection?
218
00:08:32,744 --> 00:08:34,478
Oh! Excuse me.
I'm so sorry.
219
00:08:34,513 --> 00:08:36,381
- Very good.
- I don't see one.
220
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:39,951
Give me an "r"--r.
Give me an "o"--o.
221
00:08:39,985 --> 00:08:43,187
Give me a "c"--c.
Give me a "d"--d.
222
00:08:43,221 --> 00:08:44,354
What does it spell?
223
00:08:44,389 --> 00:08:46,857
Rocd, rocd, rocd, rocd.
224
00:08:46,892 --> 00:08:49,427
[whispers] I got my first
pubic hair this week.
225
00:08:49,461 --> 00:08:51,863
My boob was out and all
the guys were looking,
226
00:08:51,897 --> 00:08:54,431
And I was like, it's
totally cool with me,
227
00:08:54,466 --> 00:08:59,403
'cause I am loose
and free with my body
228
00:08:59,437 --> 00:09:01,639
Like any girl my age
should be.
229
00:09:01,673 --> 00:09:05,576
Miss, I'm not sure those
can hold your weight.
230
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:15,618
Hi. I'm from the Reno
sheriff's department.
231
00:09:15,653 --> 00:09:18,155
Our friends at the Washoe
county animal shelter
232
00:09:18,189 --> 00:09:19,890
Have lots of furry friends
233
00:09:19,924 --> 00:09:21,758
Who are currently available
for adoption.
234
00:09:21,793 --> 00:09:24,361
This here is Scooter.
235
00:09:24,396 --> 00:09:25,863
Scooter doesn't
have a family,
236
00:09:25,897 --> 00:09:30,233
And he's looking for one
in the Reno/Tahoe area.
237
00:09:30,267 --> 00:09:32,669
Scooter is a very smart dog.
238
00:09:32,704 --> 00:09:36,005
In fact, Scooter is like
a little detective himself.
239
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,675
He led law emergency workers
to where his old family
240
00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:41,778
Had been burned to death
in a fire.
241
00:09:41,813 --> 00:09:44,882
In fact, he even tried
to rescue one of them.
242
00:09:44,916 --> 00:09:46,550
[baby talk]
but you didn't, did you?
243
00:09:46,585 --> 00:09:47,517
No, you didn't.
244
00:09:47,552 --> 00:09:49,853
They're all burned
and dead.
245
00:09:49,887 --> 00:09:53,123
[normal voice]
so, if you're looking for a dog that's loyal,
246
00:09:53,157 --> 00:09:55,058
Come on down...Today.
247
00:09:55,092 --> 00:09:57,528
The Washoe c--
248
00:09:57,562 --> 00:09:59,229
The Washoe county
animal shelter,
249
00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:04,634
Where every day
it's raining cats and dogs.
250
00:10:12,277 --> 00:10:13,877
Hey, buddy.
251
00:10:13,912 --> 00:10:16,514
You're going 3 miles an
hour on a one-way street.
252
00:10:16,548 --> 00:10:19,449
And you got
no lights on-- what's the problem?
253
00:10:19,484 --> 00:10:20,450
Shit.
254
00:10:20,484 --> 00:10:22,385
Ok, um...
255
00:10:22,419 --> 00:10:24,621
[car door beeping]
256
00:10:38,503 --> 00:10:42,005
Ok. If you can just
step away from the light.
257
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,007
I really need to give
you that ticket, OK?
258
00:10:44,042 --> 00:10:46,210
It's the end of
the month.
259
00:10:51,115 --> 00:10:52,616
And I was like, whoo...
260
00:10:52,650 --> 00:10:55,419
[imitates police siren]
261
00:10:55,453 --> 00:10:56,987
He's thinking about it.
262
00:10:57,021 --> 00:10:58,555
It's not working, Jim.
263
00:10:58,590 --> 00:11:01,424
Erection check.
I can't see.
264
00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:02,726
I cannot see.
I do not have a clear view
265
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,328
Of an erection or not.
266
00:11:04,362 --> 00:11:05,896
I just perfected
my splits just now,
267
00:11:05,930 --> 00:11:08,098
Which is so weird;
it's such a strange time.
268
00:11:08,133 --> 00:11:13,169
But, oh, my god,
I can barely get up.
269
00:11:13,204 --> 00:11:15,038
Jim, this is ladybug.
I need your help.
270
00:11:15,073 --> 00:11:17,675
I am stuck in...
Ugh.
271
00:11:17,709 --> 00:11:20,277
Ohh!
Oh, thank you.
272
00:11:20,311 --> 00:11:25,582
I love being touched
by older adult gentlemen.
273
00:11:25,616 --> 00:11:26,616
Excuse me?
274
00:11:26,651 --> 00:11:28,852
You're an undercover
cop, right?
275
00:11:28,887 --> 00:11:32,255
Um, that construction
worker has been
276
00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:35,625
Showing me his balls
since second avenue.
277
00:11:40,231 --> 00:11:42,565
My theory about the
Latin invasion is this:
278
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:43,901
I don't care if your
back is wet,
279
00:11:43,935 --> 00:11:46,636
As long as your money
is green. Ok?
280
00:11:46,671 --> 00:11:50,073
I'm not gonna
pick strawberries.
281
00:11:50,107 --> 00:11:54,411
For my money, you know,
I don't care if you
282
00:11:54,445 --> 00:11:57,681
Raise the border...
283
00:11:57,715 --> 00:12:00,450
Put that Mexican border
a little higher on the continent,
284
00:12:00,485 --> 00:12:05,055
Just as long as you
don't bring the Canadian border down any.
285
00:12:05,089 --> 00:12:06,756
That's the problem.
286
00:12:06,791 --> 00:12:09,827
[sighs] looks like
we lost a couple to the heat.
287
00:12:09,861 --> 00:12:11,662
Couple of good guys.
288
00:12:11,696 --> 00:12:14,064
I don't blame 'em.
It's too hot to work, man.
289
00:12:14,098 --> 00:12:17,667
Didn't use to get this hot.
God damn Al Gore.
290
00:12:17,701 --> 00:12:20,470
Yeah. Al Gore done put all
the ozone in the air.
291
00:12:20,505 --> 00:12:23,940
And next thing you know
it's like we're living in a greenhouse.
292
00:12:23,975 --> 00:12:25,141
You know, I think
our grandchildren
293
00:12:25,175 --> 00:12:28,379
Are gonna be so happy
that we spent today
294
00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:31,882
Working hard in this
heat, building a fence.
295
00:12:31,916 --> 00:12:32,682
Mm-hmm.
296
00:12:32,717 --> 00:12:35,118
So that they can
have white people
297
00:12:35,152 --> 00:12:36,686
Busing their
tables one day.
298
00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:38,321
That's right.
Mm-hmm.
299
00:12:38,356 --> 00:12:39,890
I didn't actually
take a day off work,
300
00:12:39,924 --> 00:12:41,759
'cause I can't work.
301
00:12:41,793 --> 00:12:43,227
Yeah.
Really?
302
00:12:43,261 --> 00:12:45,428
Nope. I can't.
I got split lung.
303
00:12:45,462 --> 00:12:47,097
Split lung?
Yeah.
304
00:12:47,132 --> 00:12:48,398
You on workers
comp for that?
305
00:12:48,433 --> 00:12:49,232
Yeah. I got
workman's comp.
306
00:12:49,266 --> 00:12:50,634
I actually discovered it
307
00:12:50,668 --> 00:12:52,703
'cause I was at
the bologna factory.
308
00:12:52,737 --> 00:12:54,405
And they was like,
"hey, we're gonna promote you.
309
00:12:54,439 --> 00:12:56,473
We're gonna put you
in charge of the separation vat."
310
00:12:56,508 --> 00:12:58,975
And I was like,
"that's just gonna mean more work."
311
00:12:59,009 --> 00:13:01,011
And the next thing
I know I got split lung,
312
00:13:01,045 --> 00:13:04,647
And you know,
I can't work.
313
00:13:04,682 --> 00:13:07,818
I have to lay down
every 20 minutes.
314
00:13:10,788 --> 00:13:13,290
Raineesha: Do you
remember anything at all?
315
00:13:13,324 --> 00:13:16,259
I remember that
a bus driver
316
00:13:16,294 --> 00:13:18,762
Pointed me here
and said to come in.
317
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:20,964
- Mm-hmm.
- Because...
318
00:13:20,998 --> 00:13:23,400
He said I have
that thing, oh, man...
319
00:13:23,434 --> 00:13:25,202
Amnesia.
You have amnesia.
320
00:13:25,236 --> 00:13:26,870
I don't remember
what he called it.
321
00:13:26,904 --> 00:13:28,504
Wait, wait.
I do remember.
322
00:13:28,539 --> 00:13:29,706
Ok.
323
00:13:29,741 --> 00:13:32,375
- I have a car.
- Ok.
324
00:13:32,409 --> 00:13:33,910
Does that give you
anything to go on?
325
00:13:33,944 --> 00:13:34,611
Go ahead.
326
00:13:34,645 --> 00:13:36,346
- It's black.
- Black car.
327
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:40,350
It's just a car.
It's a black, I think it's a trans am, I think.
328
00:13:40,385 --> 00:13:42,252
It talks.
Its name is kit.
329
00:13:42,286 --> 00:13:44,288
We go around the country
and we solve crimes--
330
00:13:44,322 --> 00:13:46,289
No, sir.
No, no, no.
331
00:13:46,324 --> 00:13:47,758
It talks.
It's fast, too.
332
00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:49,793
And it's got a t-top,
and I can [whoosh]
333
00:13:49,827 --> 00:13:52,463
- No, sir. That's--
- Michael Knight.
334
00:13:52,497 --> 00:13:54,198
- No. That's not--
- write that down.
335
00:13:54,232 --> 00:13:55,198
That's
"The Knight Rider."
336
00:13:55,233 --> 00:13:56,399
That's
a television show.
337
00:13:56,434 --> 00:13:59,169
- Sir, that's not your identity.
- You're right, I'm sorry.
338
00:13:59,203 --> 00:14:02,439
Sir, you have
a lot of blood on you.
339
00:14:02,473 --> 00:14:03,539
Yeah.
340
00:14:03,574 --> 00:14:05,642
Do you remember
what happened with the blood, how--?
341
00:14:05,676 --> 00:14:07,477
I got it in Vietnam.
I was in Vietnam
342
00:14:07,511 --> 00:14:10,080
With a crack commando squad,
and we were falsely accused
343
00:14:10,114 --> 00:14:12,282
And wrongly convicted
of a crime we didn't commit.
344
00:14:12,316 --> 00:14:14,184
Now we exist on
the Los Angeles underground.
345
00:14:14,219 --> 00:14:17,254
And if you can find us,
maybe you can hire...
346
00:14:17,288 --> 00:14:19,990
Do you have a black
dude with a mohawk?
347
00:14:20,024 --> 00:14:20,924
Yes.
348
00:14:20,958 --> 00:14:22,492
No, sir. No, you don't.
No, that's--
349
00:14:22,526 --> 00:14:24,460
How would you
have known that?
350
00:14:24,495 --> 00:14:25,796
I'm Robert Siegel.
351
00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:28,031
And I'm Linda Wertheimer.
352
00:14:28,065 --> 00:14:31,201
"all things considered"
npr.
353
00:14:33,470 --> 00:14:34,938
Sir, you woke up
this morning...
354
00:14:34,973 --> 00:14:35,872
- Yes.
- You put on your suit.
355
00:14:35,907 --> 00:14:36,606
Yes.
356
00:14:36,641 --> 00:14:37,373
- You were in your home,
- yeah.
357
00:14:37,408 --> 00:14:38,842
What happened after that?
358
00:14:38,877 --> 00:14:40,510
- I do remember.
- Ok.
359
00:14:40,545 --> 00:14:42,346
- Ahh.
- All right.
360
00:14:42,380 --> 00:14:44,581
I killed my wife
this morning.
361
00:14:55,993 --> 00:14:58,728
Hello? Uh, I'm gonna
need a trustee to follow
362
00:14:58,763 --> 00:15:02,666
A bloody white man
running around the station.
363
00:15:02,700 --> 00:15:03,800
He doesn't know
where he is.
364
00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:06,303
Just bring him
back here to booking.
365
00:15:08,639 --> 00:15:11,942
Hi. The bus driver
said that I should come in here.
366
00:15:11,976 --> 00:15:12,709
Said I have that thing...
367
00:15:12,743 --> 00:15:15,779
Yeah.
Sure...You do.
368
00:15:24,688 --> 00:15:26,689
We got a report
of a jumper over on this bridge here.
369
00:15:26,723 --> 00:15:27,689
There he is.
370
00:15:27,724 --> 00:15:28,791
Man: Go away!
371
00:15:28,825 --> 00:15:30,959
No!
Get out of here!
372
00:15:30,993 --> 00:15:32,561
Calm down, sir.
Sir?
373
00:15:32,595 --> 00:15:33,495
Stop it!
374
00:15:33,530 --> 00:15:34,330
You don't want
to do this.
375
00:15:34,364 --> 00:15:36,098
I'm crazy.
I'm going right now.
376
00:15:36,133 --> 00:15:38,333
-Oh, you're crazy?
You're crazy? - Yeah, I am.
377
00:15:38,367 --> 00:15:39,334
Don't make him mad.
378
00:15:39,369 --> 00:15:40,335
No. I'm gonna jump.
379
00:15:40,370 --> 00:15:41,470
No. Don't jump.
380
00:15:41,504 --> 00:15:44,072
No, I want to jump.
No, no, no, no. - Jonesy please!
381
00:15:44,106 --> 00:15:45,241
[all shouting at once]
382
00:15:45,275 --> 00:15:46,475
I'm crazy!
383
00:15:46,509 --> 00:15:48,277
No, no, no!
This is my bridge.
384
00:15:48,311 --> 00:15:50,145
- This is my day to shine!
- I was here first!
385
00:15:50,179 --> 00:15:53,114
You're gonna do it,
I'm first.
386
00:15:53,149 --> 00:15:55,117
Get outta here!
Oh...
387
00:15:55,151 --> 00:15:56,852
I saw this in
a movie once.
388
00:15:56,886 --> 00:15:59,254
You're good.
389
00:15:59,288 --> 00:16:03,058
[screaming]
aah!
390
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:04,693
[thud]
391
00:16:05,695 --> 00:16:06,762
Jones?
392
00:16:06,796 --> 00:16:10,465
What the hell movie
was that you saw that in?
393
00:16:15,939 --> 00:16:16,906
Dangle: Is it, uh...?
394
00:16:16,940 --> 00:16:18,373
Oh, it is!
395
00:16:18,408 --> 00:16:19,708
New night sticks
are here.
396
00:16:19,742 --> 00:16:21,077
Yay!
397
00:16:21,111 --> 00:16:23,412
About time.
I can't wait.
398
00:16:23,446 --> 00:16:25,380
- What is this-- German?
- Yeah.
399
00:16:25,415 --> 00:16:27,816
The nacht-fun.
The night...
400
00:16:27,851 --> 00:16:30,019
Wow. This whole
manual's in German.
401
00:16:30,053 --> 00:16:31,353
The night stalker.
402
00:16:31,387 --> 00:16:32,687
Is it a taser, too?
403
00:16:32,722 --> 00:16:34,289
[hums]
oh! Whoa!
404
00:16:34,323 --> 00:16:36,224
It's really strong.
405
00:16:36,259 --> 00:16:38,961
And it gets very,
very hot.
406
00:16:38,995 --> 00:16:41,163
Touch it.
Feel how hot it is.
407
00:16:41,198 --> 00:16:44,399
Oh, my gosh!
What is the point of that?
408
00:16:44,434 --> 00:16:45,934
What does that little
speaker right there mean?
409
00:16:45,969 --> 00:16:47,636
- Maybe--
- is it voice activated?
410
00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:49,538
- Maybe so.
- Oh, whoa, whoa!
411
00:16:49,572 --> 00:16:50,872
It does.
You're right.
412
00:16:50,906 --> 00:16:52,007
Voice activated?
413
00:16:52,042 --> 00:16:53,375
That's what
this is for.
414
00:16:53,409 --> 00:16:55,310
[humming]
415
00:16:55,345 --> 00:16:56,812
Cover your eyes.
Cover your eyes.
416
00:16:56,846 --> 00:16:59,081
Halt!
Guys, seriously watch your eyes.
417
00:16:59,115 --> 00:17:03,285
Eins, "ouss."
hitler!
418
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,788
Technically
that's an Austrian name.
419
00:17:05,822 --> 00:17:08,624
What are you doing
with my vibrator?
420
00:17:14,664 --> 00:17:16,665
I'm bummed about
Garcia and Junior
421
00:17:16,699 --> 00:17:18,701
Being gone all day.
422
00:17:18,735 --> 00:17:20,269
'cause usually--
423
00:17:20,303 --> 00:17:23,906
Garcia usually
clocks in for me.
424
00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:27,976
Um, I go into
the evidence locker
425
00:17:28,010 --> 00:17:30,245
And take about
a half-hour nap every day,
426
00:17:30,279 --> 00:17:32,481
Half-hour
to an hour.
427
00:17:32,515 --> 00:17:34,282
And he clocks in
for me.
428
00:17:34,317 --> 00:17:35,583
Is she listening?
429
00:17:35,618 --> 00:17:38,354
Is she listening
to this?
430
00:17:38,388 --> 00:17:40,456
She's listening.
431
00:17:40,490 --> 00:17:42,291
Ok.
432
00:17:42,325 --> 00:17:43,892
Ok.
433
00:17:44,927 --> 00:17:49,398
I'm just gonna play
possum on this one.
434
00:17:52,501 --> 00:17:54,870
You know what?
The Samoans are famous for cooking things in dirt.
435
00:17:54,904 --> 00:17:56,104
Oh god damn!
436
00:17:56,139 --> 00:17:58,540
It's like sitting next to the dn
nature channel.
437
00:17:58,574 --> 00:18:01,543
You're like
an encyclopedia of bore-tanica.
438
00:18:01,577 --> 00:18:03,879
That's right.
439
00:18:03,913 --> 00:18:05,714
You're a thesaurus of--
440
00:18:05,748 --> 00:18:06,682
You're a the-snorus.
441
00:18:06,716 --> 00:18:10,152
[laughing]
442
00:18:10,186 --> 00:18:11,854
I'm smelling that
carne asada.
443
00:18:11,888 --> 00:18:13,055
I don't think
we should do it.
444
00:18:13,089 --> 00:18:14,756
I don't think
it's right.
445
00:18:14,791 --> 00:18:18,827
Is it right
that americans starve to death?
446
00:18:18,861 --> 00:18:22,130
- No, sir.
- No, sir.
447
00:18:22,165 --> 00:18:23,298
That's
a good point.
448
00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:25,734
If we're using it
as fuel to build a wall
449
00:18:25,768 --> 00:18:27,736
To keep them out,
then I think it's ok.
450
00:18:27,770 --> 00:18:31,640
Yeah...
That is taking
451
00:18:31,674 --> 00:18:34,410
A resource and putting
it towards a good plan.
452
00:18:34,444 --> 00:18:37,245
It's like using
their own strength against 'em.
453
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:40,482
It's like using
rape money in order to build a hospital.
454
00:18:40,516 --> 00:18:43,285
Rape money?
455
00:18:43,319 --> 00:18:46,021
Money from a rape.
456
00:18:46,055 --> 00:18:48,423
Uh, hola,
hola, senorita.
457
00:18:48,457 --> 00:18:49,892
?como esta?
458
00:18:49,926 --> 00:18:51,093
Muy bien, gracias.
459
00:18:51,127 --> 00:18:52,794
- ?carne asada todo?
- Oh, si.
460
00:18:52,829 --> 00:18:54,162
Carne asada
is steak?
461
00:18:54,197 --> 00:18:55,097
Yeah, yeah, si.
462
00:18:55,131 --> 00:18:56,231
Ask her if she's got
apple pie.
463
00:18:56,265 --> 00:18:57,933
You got apple pie
in that cart?
464
00:18:57,967 --> 00:18:58,934
Lyle, do you
want to eat
465
00:18:58,969 --> 00:19:01,937
Or do you want
to be a fucking jackass?
466
00:19:01,971 --> 00:19:03,939
Little of both,
I guess.
467
00:19:03,973 --> 00:19:05,340
That's good stuff.
468
00:19:05,374 --> 00:19:07,876
Oh, look, man.
469
00:19:07,911 --> 00:19:09,879
We should see
if they want...
470
00:19:09,913 --> 00:19:12,547
To maybe earn a little
money fixing a fence.
471
00:19:12,582 --> 00:19:14,650
Junior:
It is hot.
472
00:19:14,684 --> 00:19:17,253
They are built
for it.
473
00:19:17,287 --> 00:19:20,121
You boys want to
make 40 bucks?
474
00:19:20,156 --> 00:19:23,391
Si? Es bueno.
Si.
475
00:19:23,426 --> 00:19:24,493
That'll do it.
476
00:19:24,527 --> 00:19:26,995
Do it right!
Be nice.
477
00:19:31,334 --> 00:19:33,201
Ho, ho, ho!
Careful.
478
00:19:33,235 --> 00:19:34,736
[cheering]
479
00:19:34,770 --> 00:19:36,938
[gunfire]
480
00:19:38,374 --> 00:19:40,675
Usa! Usa!
Usa! Usa!
481
00:19:40,710 --> 00:19:41,943
Usa! Usa!
482
00:19:41,977 --> 00:19:45,179
Usa! Usa!
Usa! Usa!
483
00:19:45,214 --> 00:19:49,918
Usa! U--!
484
00:19:49,952 --> 00:19:51,085
Oh fuck!
485
00:19:54,190 --> 00:19:55,090
Shit!
486
00:19:55,124 --> 00:19:56,557
Get at him, boys.
We gotta get out of here.
487
00:19:56,592 --> 00:20:00,127
Come on. I got it.
Go! Go! Go!
488
00:20:00,162 --> 00:20:02,130
Gary, go!
Gary!
489
00:20:03,799 --> 00:20:06,301
I'm staying.
490
00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:10,071
Yeah, I get it, man.
She's hot.
491
00:20:10,105 --> 00:20:11,773
Bye, Gary.
Take care, man.
492
00:20:11,807 --> 00:20:13,174
Wait! The policia!
493
00:20:13,208 --> 00:20:16,211
What are we up to,
fellas?
494
00:20:16,245 --> 00:20:17,812
Shit, shit, shit, shit!
495
00:20:17,847 --> 00:20:18,446
Hey where you going?
496
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:19,815
Soy americano!
497
00:20:19,849 --> 00:20:21,082
Hey! Hold it right there.
498
00:20:21,117 --> 00:20:22,450
Hey! You!
Lyle: Get him!
499
00:20:22,484 --> 00:20:24,686
Shoot the beaner!
500
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,721
Got him.
Ohh!
501
00:20:26,756 --> 00:20:28,089
That's a classic
slide tackle.
502
00:20:28,123 --> 00:20:30,325
- He's got military
training. - Oh!
503
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,494
Captioning made possible by
mtv networks
504
00:20:34,429 --> 00:20:35,896
4 generations we
been taking bullets
505
00:20:35,931 --> 00:20:40,100
For everybody in
Washoe county, so uh--
506
00:20:40,134 --> 00:20:44,605
Yeah, but that fifth
generation had to come over here from somewhere.
507
00:20:44,639 --> 00:20:46,874
Junior's french.
508
00:20:46,908 --> 00:20:48,175
Juniet.
509
00:20:48,209 --> 00:20:48,976
French?
510
00:20:49,010 --> 00:20:51,211
Yeah, they came
after the civil war.
511
00:20:51,245 --> 00:20:53,079
Uh, they--
selling beavers.
512
00:20:53,114 --> 00:20:54,615
Captioned by the national
captioning institute --www.Ncicap.Org--
513
00:20:54,649 --> 00:20:55,682
I don't want to
talk about it.
514
00:20:55,717 --> 00:20:57,284
So you're a beaver
trapper?
515
00:20:57,318 --> 00:21:00,587
In 1875, you didn't
have to trap your own beavers.
516
00:21:00,621 --> 00:21:03,958
Smart businessmen
bought the beavers, resold 'em.
517
00:21:04,008 --> 00:21:08,558
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