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1
00:00:04,403 --> 00:00:05,403
We got a runner.
Go !
2
00:00:05,504 --> 00:00:07,172
Freeze, sir !
3
00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:08,239
Freeze !
4
00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:10,174
Hey !
5
00:00:11,910 --> 00:00:12,844
I said freeze !
6
00:00:12,945 --> 00:00:14,012
( clattering )
7
00:00:14,113 --> 00:00:15,647
I said freeze,
god damn it !
8
00:00:15,748 --> 00:00:16,781
Freeze !
9
00:00:16,883 --> 00:00:17,849
( man screaming )
10
00:00:17,950 --> 00:00:19,584
Yeah, that's your arm,
buddy !
11
00:00:19,685 --> 00:00:21,085
( gunshot )
12
00:00:21,186 --> 00:00:22,554
( laughing )
ohh...
13
00:00:22,654 --> 00:00:24,889
Stick time !
A little stick time !
14
00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:25,924
( gunshots )
15
00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:26,824
Whoo !
Whoo !
16
00:00:26,926 --> 00:00:29,661
Whoo.
17
00:00:32,030 --> 00:00:33,498
Freeze !
Freeze !
18
00:00:33,599 --> 00:00:35,500
We got a runner !
19
00:00:36,669 --> 00:00:38,035
Whoo !
Come here !
20
00:00:38,137 --> 00:00:39,871
( tires screeching )
21
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:43,574
Oh... Ah !
22
00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:47,144
Whoa !
23
00:00:50,749 --> 00:00:52,783
( growling )
24
00:00:59,091 --> 00:01:01,926
( sirens blaring )
25
00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:13,571
( siren wailing )
26
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:21,412
( dangle )
ha ha, well, uh, good morning, gang.
27
00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:23,415
As you all know,
we are taking part
28
00:01:23,516 --> 00:01:26,417
In the "badges across
the water" program.
29
00:01:26,518 --> 00:01:28,620
Today we have our part
of the exchange.
30
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:31,689
Please welcome, all the way
from jolly old England,
31
00:01:31,790 --> 00:01:35,192
Officer martin smiley.
32
00:01:35,293 --> 00:01:36,861
( cheers and applause )
33
00:01:36,962 --> 00:01:38,229
Oh, please.
34
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:39,497
Please, go, go.
35
00:01:39,598 --> 00:01:43,201
Well, as your boss said here,
I'm martin smiley.
36
00:01:43,302 --> 00:01:45,203
I'm from gloucester terrace,
37
00:01:45,304 --> 00:01:47,639
Precinct there,
as you would call it.
38
00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:49,040
And, uh-- oh.
39
00:01:49,141 --> 00:01:51,176
As a bit
of a welcoming gift,
40
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:54,846
I've brought you, uh,
connor the constable.
41
00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:59,251
And as a personal token
of my own appreciation,
42
00:01:59,351 --> 00:02:03,053
I, uh, I brought you all
a tin of biscuits.
43
00:02:03,155 --> 00:02:04,222
If you would.
44
00:02:04,323 --> 00:02:05,924
Oh !
45
00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:07,926
Thank you very much.
46
00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:09,193
( williams )
those are cookies.
47
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,095
Yeah, we call these "cookies"
here in reno.
48
00:02:11,196 --> 00:02:12,430
Oh, I'm sorry,
yeah.
49
00:02:12,531 --> 00:02:19,404
Uh, take the lift to the flat
and eat your chips.
50
00:02:19,505 --> 00:02:20,905
What kind of gun
do you carry ?
51
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:22,340
We don't carry guns.
52
00:02:22,441 --> 00:02:24,308
I think that would be one of
the biggest differences
53
00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:27,712
Between the two police forces,
as it were.
54
00:02:27,813 --> 00:02:29,781
And, uh... Yeah,
we carry a whistle.
55
00:02:29,882 --> 00:02:30,882
( dangle )
a whistle ?
56
00:02:30,983 --> 00:02:32,250
And that stops crime ?
57
00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:33,384
It does.
58
00:02:33,485 --> 00:02:35,353
Do you guys have
crack whores in England ?
59
00:02:35,454 --> 00:02:37,188
We call them
crack wenches.
60
00:02:37,289 --> 00:02:39,157
( laughter )
61
00:02:39,258 --> 00:02:41,059
( williams )
crack wench !
62
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,128
Oh, that is sweet.
63
00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:46,464
So, uh, inspector smiley
will be spending the day
64
00:02:46,565 --> 00:02:48,466
With one of our
deputies here.
65
00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:50,234
Oh, me, me !
66
00:02:50,335 --> 00:02:51,602
Pick whoever you want,
pick anybody.
67
00:02:51,703 --> 00:02:54,072
I'll go with this lovely
young lady right here.
68
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:55,640
That sounds fine.
69
00:02:55,741 --> 00:02:57,074
Okay, now,
pick again.
70
00:02:57,175 --> 00:02:59,377
Anyone else,
really.
71
00:02:59,478 --> 00:03:01,012
Uh...
72
00:03:01,113 --> 00:03:02,314
I don't know.
73
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:04,249
How about the bloke
74
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,051
With the caterpillar
on the old chin there ?
75
00:03:06,151 --> 00:03:08,252
( dangle )
jim garcia.
76
00:03:08,353 --> 00:03:09,888
Uh...
77
00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:12,390
Sure, absolutely,
wonderful, sure.
78
00:03:12,491 --> 00:03:13,724
Thank you.
79
00:03:13,825 --> 00:03:15,293
So take him
around and...
80
00:03:15,394 --> 00:03:16,394
Show you the ropes.
81
00:03:16,495 --> 00:03:18,196
Yeah.
Not all the ropes, you know.
82
00:03:18,297 --> 00:03:19,764
Don't need to go
to cracktown.
83
00:03:19,865 --> 00:03:21,499
We'll take it
easy on you, fella.
84
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:22,968
Thank you very much.
85
00:03:23,068 --> 00:03:24,336
Nice and easy.
86
00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:27,271
Cheerio !
87
00:03:33,679 --> 00:03:34,679
Today we are cracking down
88
00:03:34,780 --> 00:03:36,280
On the massage parlors
here in reno.
89
00:03:36,381 --> 00:03:38,750
We are sending in our very own
travis junior undercover
90
00:03:38,851 --> 00:03:43,188
With these high-tech glasses,
which have a very small camera.
91
00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:45,422
He will infiltrate
the massage parlor,
92
00:03:45,524 --> 00:03:48,159
Try to get them to perform
the sex act on him,
93
00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:52,796
And then we will swoop in
and start making arrests.
94
00:03:55,067 --> 00:03:57,134
Okay, he's in,
he's in.
95
00:03:57,236 --> 00:04:00,504
Hi...
You want a massage ?
96
00:04:00,605 --> 00:04:02,607
You want, uh, long time,
short time ?
97
00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:04,408
The full--
everything you've got.
98
00:04:04,509 --> 00:04:06,411
On the menu,
off the menu...
99
00:04:06,512 --> 00:04:07,712
I give you everything.
100
00:04:07,813 --> 00:04:09,147
Come this way.
101
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:10,448
Okay,
what do we do here ?
102
00:04:10,549 --> 00:04:12,016
This is my first time
in one of these places.
103
00:04:12,117 --> 00:04:14,352
Uh, first you have to
take off your clothes.
104
00:04:14,453 --> 00:04:15,753
Okay.
105
00:04:15,854 --> 00:04:17,622
Oh, I like your belt buckle.
106
00:04:17,723 --> 00:04:20,525
Oh, yeah, that was, uh, that
was my daddy's, thank you.
107
00:04:20,626 --> 00:04:21,793
Nice and shiny.
( laughs )
108
00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:23,461
You have to
take off glasses.
109
00:04:23,562 --> 00:04:24,929
Oh, I'm not supposed--
110
00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:27,031
I take off for you.
111
00:04:27,132 --> 00:04:28,199
Is that the glasses ?
112
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:29,367
Oh, oh, no !
113
00:04:29,468 --> 00:04:30,968
I put your glasses
down here.
114
00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:32,370
I'm very careful.
115
00:04:32,471 --> 00:04:34,372
Go right to
the super deluxe.
116
00:04:34,473 --> 00:04:36,541
Now, I don't know if there's
some kind of special code
117
00:04:36,642 --> 00:04:37,908
I'm supposed to say.
118
00:04:38,010 --> 00:04:39,977
Oh, no, no, no,
you get whole package.
119
00:04:40,078 --> 00:04:40,945
That's all.
120
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:41,946
Ow !
121
00:04:42,047 --> 00:04:43,113
Aah ! Okay !
122
00:04:43,215 --> 00:04:47,017
Oh, god ! What the--
shit ! Ow, ow !
123
00:04:47,119 --> 00:04:48,552
Is it too hard ?
124
00:04:48,653 --> 00:04:50,421
Oh...
Is it too hard ?
125
00:04:50,522 --> 00:04:51,856
That's great.
126
00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:52,957
Aah !
Thank you !
127
00:04:53,058 --> 00:04:55,259
Feels so good.
128
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:56,360
Ow ! Ow !
Oh, god !
129
00:04:56,461 --> 00:04:57,795
Okay !
130
00:04:57,896 --> 00:04:58,897
Now I get some lotion.
131
00:04:58,998 --> 00:04:59,930
Oh, good, thank you.
132
00:05:00,031 --> 00:05:01,366
Just put that
right there.
133
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:02,400
Ow !
Okay, okay.
134
00:05:02,501 --> 00:05:04,068
Okay, here we go,
here we go.
135
00:05:04,169 --> 00:05:05,703
Aah ! Aah !
136
00:05:05,804 --> 00:05:07,204
Aah !
137
00:05:07,305 --> 00:05:09,373
Ow !
Okay, okay !
138
00:05:09,474 --> 00:05:11,843
( crying )
139
00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:13,477
Whee !
It's so much fun !
140
00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:14,845
Aah ! Aah !
141
00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:16,881
Aah. Ow.
142
00:05:16,982 --> 00:05:18,616
Is good ?
It's great.
143
00:05:18,717 --> 00:05:20,751
And now, happy ending.
144
00:05:20,852 --> 00:05:22,353
All better ?
145
00:05:22,454 --> 00:05:23,621
It's more relax ?
146
00:05:23,722 --> 00:05:25,056
Yeah, more relaxing,
that's great.
147
00:05:25,157 --> 00:05:26,724
Aah !
148
00:05:26,825 --> 00:05:29,194
That's better, right ?
149
00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:30,762
That's so much
better.
150
00:05:30,863 --> 00:05:32,263
So I'm supposed to get
on my side, or...
151
00:05:32,364 --> 00:05:34,432
No, you just
go on the floor.
152
00:05:34,533 --> 00:05:36,033
That's good, okay.
153
00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:38,202
Is she dancing ?
She's dancing on him.
154
00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:39,337
She's dancing on him.
155
00:05:39,438 --> 00:05:40,638
Waah !
156
00:05:40,739 --> 00:05:41,906
Get off me, get off me,
get off me !
157
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:43,575
Oh, damn !
158
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,076
You know,
there's more.
159
00:05:45,177 --> 00:05:46,777
( coughs )
no, I don't want anymore.
160
00:05:46,878 --> 00:05:48,546
I don't want anymore.
I don't want anymore.
161
00:05:48,647 --> 00:05:50,247
Just one--
162
00:05:50,348 --> 00:05:52,516
Ahh, no !
No, shit !
163
00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:53,584
Just leave me alone !
164
00:05:53,685 --> 00:05:56,154
( both shouting )
165
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:58,323
Come on,
let's get him.
166
00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:00,024
Travis !
167
00:06:00,125 --> 00:06:02,260
Frank.
Lisa.
168
00:06:02,361 --> 00:06:03,661
Yeah, I don't think the cops
169
00:06:03,762 --> 00:06:06,231
Will be coming again
anytime soon.
170
00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,204
Inspector smiley...
171
00:06:13,305 --> 00:06:15,839
Makes us smiley.
172
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:18,576
I think he's amazing.
We love him.
173
00:06:18,677 --> 00:06:19,910
So cute.
174
00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:21,279
He's so cute.
175
00:06:21,379 --> 00:06:24,048
I'd never had an imaginary
friend when I was a kid,
176
00:06:24,149 --> 00:06:28,719
But if I did, inspector smiley
would be my imaginary friend.
177
00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:30,789
He's that cool.
178
00:06:30,889 --> 00:06:32,090
You like your job ?
179
00:06:32,191 --> 00:06:33,458
Oh, yeah,
I love my job.
180
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,892
You enjoy what you do,
do you ?
181
00:06:34,993 --> 00:06:36,126
I love my job.
182
00:06:36,227 --> 00:06:38,163
I love carrying real guns
with real bullets.
183
00:06:38,263 --> 00:06:39,864
Of course, you wouldn't know
what that's about.
184
00:06:39,965 --> 00:06:41,965
You guys are carrying them
slingshots around
185
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:43,601
With little
rubber pellets.
186
00:06:43,702 --> 00:06:45,170
That's right, isn't it ?
187
00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:46,871
I guess them criminals,
if they want to,
188
00:06:46,972 --> 00:06:48,339
Could just pretty much
take over.
189
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,174
I feel sorry for you guys.
190
00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:52,076
Well, we keep them pretty much
in line, you know.
191
00:06:52,177 --> 00:06:54,045
The, uh...
192
00:06:54,146 --> 00:06:56,848
Do you say--
193
00:06:56,948 --> 00:06:58,483
( british accent )
"excuse me.
194
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,318
"uh, top of the morning
to you,
195
00:07:00,418 --> 00:07:03,321
"but I do believe
you are breaking the law,
196
00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:05,423
And that is making
the queen mad" ?
197
00:07:05,524 --> 00:07:06,858
And then they just
run scared.
198
00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:08,225
Yeah, something like that.
199
00:07:08,326 --> 00:07:10,762
Got us a little speeder.
200
00:07:10,863 --> 00:07:12,763
Constable, why don't you
just sit tight right here ?
201
00:07:12,865 --> 00:07:15,033
We're gonna show you how we
do things in reno, nevada.
202
00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:16,667
All right.
203
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:18,503
You, uh, don't need
any help ?
204
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,737
No, I'll be good.
205
00:07:19,838 --> 00:07:21,272
You just sit back here
and watch it happen.
206
00:07:21,373 --> 00:07:24,075
Well, uh, actually,
I feel a bit naked.
207
00:07:24,176 --> 00:07:26,377
You've got the gun
and the club.
208
00:07:26,478 --> 00:07:27,779
I'll tell you what.
209
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,580
Hold this flashlight
and you shine it on him
210
00:07:29,681 --> 00:07:31,182
If he gets out of control,
okay ?
211
00:07:31,283 --> 00:07:34,451
All right, will do !
Okay.
212
00:07:35,754 --> 00:07:38,155
How you doing today, sir ?
213
00:07:38,256 --> 00:07:39,556
Uh, is there
a problem, sir ?
214
00:07:39,657 --> 00:07:41,258
Is there a problem ?
215
00:07:41,359 --> 00:07:43,627
Yeah, uh,
where's the fire ?
216
00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:46,930
Was-- was I speeding ?
217
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:49,099
You get out of that
car right now.
218
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,501
Who the fuck
is this guy ?
219
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,003
Get the hell
out of that car !
220
00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:53,938
Get out of
that car !
221
00:07:54,039 --> 00:07:55,106
( thumping )
222
00:07:55,207 --> 00:07:56,241
Oh, god !
223
00:07:56,341 --> 00:07:57,609
Get out
of the car !
224
00:07:57,710 --> 00:07:58,742
Aah !
225
00:07:58,844 --> 00:08:00,745
Get out !
Get out !
226
00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:06,050
You speeding bastard !
You bastard speeder !
227
00:08:06,151 --> 00:08:09,020
Give us your wallet,
let's go.
228
00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:09,920
( coughing )
229
00:08:10,021 --> 00:08:11,789
Give us your wallet.
230
00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:14,258
Okay, you have
a good day now, right ?
231
00:08:14,359 --> 00:08:15,426
( weakly )
thank you.
232
00:08:15,527 --> 00:08:17,061
Yeah,
you're welcome.
233
00:08:17,162 --> 00:08:19,063
You're welcome !
234
00:08:19,164 --> 00:08:20,598
Well done, that's a nice
flashlight you got there.
235
00:08:20,699 --> 00:08:21,866
Yeah.
236
00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:23,835
I like the weight of it.
237
00:08:23,936 --> 00:08:25,370
Yeah, okay.
238
00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:34,145
You have the right
to remain silent.
239
00:08:34,246 --> 00:08:35,446
If you give up the right
to remain silent
240
00:08:35,547 --> 00:08:36,714
Anything you say
can and will--
241
00:08:36,815 --> 00:08:38,683
I recognize you, sir.
I recognize you, officer.
242
00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:40,584
You're that guy
from "reno 911 !"--
243
00:08:40,685 --> 00:08:41,819
Both of y'all !
244
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:42,887
No, he isn't.
245
00:08:42,988 --> 00:08:44,154
( hums theme )
246
00:08:44,256 --> 00:08:48,025
We have no say in what
they put on that program
247
00:08:48,126 --> 00:08:49,060
That they shoot.
248
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:50,661
We have no say in what
these guys do, sir.
249
00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:52,630
You make me respect
police officers.
250
00:08:52,731 --> 00:08:54,165
You remember that time
251
00:08:54,266 --> 00:08:56,834
When you was trying to stop that
gay man with the pretty legs ?
252
00:08:56,935 --> 00:08:58,035
He was roller-skatin'.
253
00:08:58,137 --> 00:08:58,936
Terry.
254
00:08:59,037 --> 00:09:00,305
Yeah, that's terry.
255
00:09:00,405 --> 00:09:01,706
Remember that ?
That was good.
256
00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:03,240
He was really on drugs.
257
00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:05,710
They cut out the part
where he was really on drugs.
258
00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:07,445
They didn't use that.
259
00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:08,579
These guys...
260
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:10,180
We don't get a vote at all
on what they put on.
261
00:09:10,282 --> 00:09:12,617
You should let these officers
put on whatever they want to,
262
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:15,419
Like that time
when he helped him move,
263
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,321
This couple
hiding down the street.
264
00:09:17,422 --> 00:09:19,123
They were like, "I thought you
was gonna move further."
265
00:09:19,224 --> 00:09:20,525
"no, I'm just moving
down the street."
266
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:23,594
Then you were drinking them
margaritas and rum drinks.
267
00:09:23,695 --> 00:09:25,029
Y'all remember that ?
268
00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:26,764
So you understand your rights
as they've been read to you ?
269
00:09:26,865 --> 00:09:28,032
I understand my rights,
officer,
270
00:09:28,133 --> 00:09:29,600
And it's a pleasure
to be arrested by you.
271
00:09:29,701 --> 00:09:31,669
You understand that
what they put on the show,
272
00:09:31,770 --> 00:09:33,371
We don't get to vote on,
they just use--
273
00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:35,440
I understand that you've been
unjustly treated
274
00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:38,175
By the producers
of "reno 911 !"
275
00:09:38,276 --> 00:09:40,945
The thing is that you can't
jerk off in the elevators.
276
00:09:41,046 --> 00:09:42,547
You can't be jerking off in the
elevators here anymore, okay ?
277
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:43,848
That I don't understand
so good.
278
00:09:43,949 --> 00:09:45,483
Well... That's why
you're going to jail, okay ?
279
00:09:45,584 --> 00:09:47,652
All right, all right.
280
00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:55,192
Officer smiley is
about the nicest fella
281
00:09:55,293 --> 00:09:58,128
I have ever seen or met.
282
00:09:58,229 --> 00:10:02,099
He's just...
Cute and classy.
283
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,834
It's like, you know,
284
00:10:03,935 --> 00:10:07,471
If james bond was dressed up
like a teddy bear.
285
00:10:07,572 --> 00:10:11,009
I realize I--
I, uh, you know...
286
00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:13,177
Overstepped my bounds
in terms of--
287
00:10:13,278 --> 00:10:15,312
You were leading
the arrest
288
00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:17,648
Or the speeding ticket
and all,
289
00:10:17,749 --> 00:10:20,350
And I just want you to know
that from now on,
290
00:10:20,451 --> 00:10:22,252
Whatever you say goes.
291
00:10:22,354 --> 00:10:23,554
I'm on the
straight and narrow.
292
00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:27,591
I've got a particular,
you know... Fire, I guess,
293
00:10:27,692 --> 00:10:32,596
For the speed-- for the speed--
for the speeder.
294
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,899
( indistinct talking )
295
00:10:34,999 --> 00:10:36,133
Thank you very much.
296
00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,935
Money.
Oh.
297
00:10:38,036 --> 00:10:39,503
It's 18.
298
00:10:39,604 --> 00:10:40,771
Eighteen ?
299
00:10:40,872 --> 00:10:42,572
It's usually 15,
but I threw in that extra.
300
00:10:42,674 --> 00:10:43,741
That was nice of you.
301
00:10:43,842 --> 00:10:45,209
Welcome to america.
302
00:10:45,310 --> 00:10:48,645
Oh, thank you,
yeah, appreciate that.
303
00:10:53,418 --> 00:10:56,019
Oh, man.
304
00:10:56,121 --> 00:10:58,088
Oh, look at him.
305
00:10:58,189 --> 00:10:59,157
( jones )
hello.
306
00:10:59,257 --> 00:11:00,892
Reno sheriff
department.
307
00:11:00,992 --> 00:11:02,260
The who ?
308
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:03,661
Reno sheriff's
department.
309
00:11:03,762 --> 00:11:05,162
Oh, come on.
310
00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:07,531
You white folks just
harass black folks.
311
00:11:07,632 --> 00:11:09,500
I'm not doing nothin'
but standing out here
312
00:11:09,601 --> 00:11:10,767
Trying to make a living.
313
00:11:10,869 --> 00:11:12,803
Sir, we're black folk.
314
00:11:12,904 --> 00:11:13,971
Black ?
We're black.
315
00:11:14,072 --> 00:11:15,105
Prove it, prove it.
316
00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:17,842
Let me hear you say
"sweet potata."
317
00:11:17,942 --> 00:11:19,310
Sweet potato.
318
00:11:19,411 --> 00:11:21,411
( laughing )
319
00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:23,114
Sweet potato.
320
00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:26,050
You do sound
a little white.
321
00:11:26,151 --> 00:11:28,118
Let me hear you say
"brotha."
322
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:29,720
Brotha.
Go ahead !
323
00:11:29,821 --> 00:11:31,121
( laughs )
324
00:11:31,222 --> 00:11:32,423
Right.
325
00:11:32,524 --> 00:11:33,624
What are you doing with
this white partner ?
326
00:11:33,725 --> 00:11:34,558
Brother.
327
00:11:34,659 --> 00:11:35,826
No, he--
328
00:11:35,927 --> 00:11:37,261
What you doing
with this redneck ?
329
00:11:37,362 --> 00:11:38,562
We didn't come to
give you any money,
330
00:11:38,663 --> 00:11:40,397
But we came to help you
get your pants up
331
00:11:40,498 --> 00:11:41,766
'cause your pants are down.
332
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,501
I put my pants on when
I left home this morning.
333
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:45,169
My pants is on.
334
00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:46,570
Yeah, but they down.
335
00:11:46,671 --> 00:11:48,205
No, they're down
right now.
336
00:11:48,306 --> 00:11:49,740
That's what that breeze
is I was feeling.
337
00:11:49,841 --> 00:11:52,543
You're exposing yourself,
and that's against the law !
338
00:11:52,644 --> 00:11:54,478
And there ain't a whole lot
to expose, okay ?
339
00:11:54,579 --> 00:11:56,714
So keep them up,
all right ?
340
00:11:56,815 --> 00:11:58,416
Call me small !
341
00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:01,252
When I go pee, I got to
sit down on the commode
342
00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:03,521
'cause the doctor told me
don't lift nothin' heavy
343
00:12:03,622 --> 00:12:05,222
'cause my back went out.
344
00:12:05,323 --> 00:12:06,857
You gonna
call me small.
345
00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:08,559
He put it on you
with that one, jonesy.
346
00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:12,830
So y'all just go ahead and
arrest some criminals.
347
00:12:12,931 --> 00:12:15,433
You didn't put no money
in my cup, did you ?
348
00:12:15,534 --> 00:12:16,934
No, I didn't, sir.
349
00:12:17,035 --> 00:12:19,269
I'll give her a dollar
to loan you, okay ?
350
00:12:19,370 --> 00:12:21,038
No, her a dollar.
351
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:22,840
I ain't paying
no money back.
352
00:12:22,941 --> 00:12:24,775
Learn how to say
"sweet potata."
353
00:12:24,876 --> 00:12:25,943
Watch the poop !
354
00:12:26,044 --> 00:12:29,881
Watch the poop !
Watch the poop !
355
00:12:33,285 --> 00:12:34,418
Blind ?
356
00:12:34,519 --> 00:12:36,453
You know I'm black, right ?
You know I'm black.
357
00:12:36,554 --> 00:12:38,556
Can I-- can I
make my phone call ?
358
00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:40,791
Do I have rights ?
Can I make my phone call ?
359
00:12:40,892 --> 00:12:41,792
Who are you
gonna call ?
360
00:12:41,893 --> 00:12:42,793
Huh ?
361
00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:43,794
Who you
gonna call ?
362
00:12:43,895 --> 00:12:44,962
Yo' mama.
363
00:12:45,063 --> 00:12:46,297
All right, get your
ass in the car.
364
00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:47,531
Okay,
but that was funny.
365
00:12:47,632 --> 00:12:48,499
No, that wasn't.
366
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,000
You know nothing
about my mom.
367
00:12:50,101 --> 00:12:53,437
He didn't say your mother,
he said yo' mama.
368
00:12:56,742 --> 00:12:58,942
Whenever I hear
inspector smiley,
369
00:12:59,043 --> 00:13:00,978
I think of mary poppins.
370
00:13:01,079 --> 00:13:03,213
'cause why ?
371
00:13:03,314 --> 00:13:06,249
'cause of
the way he talks.
372
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:07,919
Oi !!
373
00:13:08,020 --> 00:13:09,987
Yeah, he needs to
talk to you !
374
00:13:10,088 --> 00:13:14,124
Get your fat arse over here
so he can talk to you !
375
00:13:15,427 --> 00:13:16,660
No, don't give me that !
376
00:13:16,761 --> 00:13:20,297
Get out of your fuckin'
wheelchair and get over here !
377
00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:23,567
Uh, we just got these new
bomb-dog cameras from carson.
378
00:13:23,668 --> 00:13:27,170
What they do is they get you
a real good shot of the bomb
379
00:13:27,272 --> 00:13:29,874
From far away so you can make
your tactical decisions
380
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,308
Without getting up close.
381
00:13:31,409 --> 00:13:32,476
Good dog.
382
00:13:32,577 --> 00:13:34,145
How's it doing ?
Testing.
383
00:13:34,246 --> 00:13:36,079
One, two, one, two.
384
00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:39,350
Go, go.
Go try it out, boy.
385
00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:53,464
( whimpers )
386
00:13:53,565 --> 00:13:55,733
Oh, man.
387
00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:58,502
Here's our...
Patient.
388
00:13:58,603 --> 00:14:00,171
Hello !
389
00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:01,639
Yep, hi.
390
00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:03,441
Hi, there !
391
00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:05,509
How are we
feeling ?
392
00:14:05,610 --> 00:14:06,677
Hi.
393
00:14:06,778 --> 00:14:08,546
It's okay.
It's okay.
394
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:09,880
It's okay.
395
00:14:09,981 --> 00:14:10,848
Is this the
right bed ?
396
00:14:10,949 --> 00:14:12,182
Yeah, mm-hmm.
397
00:14:12,283 --> 00:14:13,550
Hi.
Hi.
398
00:14:13,651 --> 00:14:14,986
We brought a friend
to say "hi."
399
00:14:15,086 --> 00:14:18,755
Hello, I'm a friend,
here to say hi !
400
00:14:18,856 --> 00:14:22,626
Gentle like a little,
tiny, little bird.
401
00:14:22,727 --> 00:14:25,095
Gentle with the puppy.
402
00:14:25,196 --> 00:14:27,598
Yeah, just pet real nice,
that's good.
403
00:14:27,699 --> 00:14:30,066
Isn't it nice
to have a bird--
404
00:14:30,168 --> 00:14:32,569
No ! No ! No !
No ! No !
405
00:14:32,670 --> 00:14:36,707
No, no, no, we don't.
406
00:14:36,808 --> 00:14:39,110
We don't try to
eat the dog.
407
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,411
No, we don't.
408
00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:42,046
You can touch
the doggy now,
409
00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:43,413
But you have to
be nice.
410
00:14:43,514 --> 00:14:45,248
We're just gonna
pet real gentle.
411
00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:46,417
Just like friends.
412
00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:48,386
We're gonna pet it
just like a little bird
413
00:14:48,486 --> 00:14:50,520
Faberge egg
or something that's--
414
00:14:50,622 --> 00:14:51,789
No, no, no, no !
415
00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:53,390
No ! No !
No ! No !
416
00:14:53,491 --> 00:14:54,892
No !
417
00:14:54,993 --> 00:14:56,293
I smacked him a little bit,
I just smacked him.
418
00:14:56,394 --> 00:14:58,061
Dog's not food.
Dog's not food.
419
00:14:58,162 --> 00:14:59,796
Dog's not food.
Dog's not food.
420
00:14:59,897 --> 00:15:02,299
Okay, easy
with the--
421
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,500
Oh my god.
422
00:15:03,601 --> 00:15:05,535
What do I do ?
I'm backing off real easy.
423
00:15:05,636 --> 00:15:07,071
I'm gonna--
I smacked him again.
424
00:15:07,171 --> 00:15:09,306
I smacked him
a little bit.
425
00:15:09,407 --> 00:15:10,941
I'm gonna go
throw up.
426
00:15:11,042 --> 00:15:12,310
Y'know, I really actually
don't feel that bad
427
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:13,644
About shooting him.
428
00:15:13,745 --> 00:15:15,045
No, I wouldn't.
429
00:15:15,146 --> 00:15:17,781
He came at me with a chocolate
bar about 2 1/2 weeks ago.
430
00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:19,116
It was kind of dark.
431
00:15:19,217 --> 00:15:20,651
He deserved it.
432
00:15:20,752 --> 00:15:21,719
Every time
we shoot a guy,
433
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:23,554
You gotta come visit him
and wish him well.
434
00:15:23,654 --> 00:15:25,022
It's a shame
he's alive really
435
00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:26,490
'cause he wasn't that
great a guy before.
436
00:15:26,591 --> 00:15:29,093
No, he was a bit
of a son of a bitch.
437
00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:36,833
Smiley reminds me of
a friend of mary poppins--
438
00:15:36,934 --> 00:15:38,802
Not dick the chimney sweep,
439
00:15:38,903 --> 00:15:40,237
But some other friend
of mary poppins
440
00:15:40,338 --> 00:15:44,108
That we never met
who's a wonderful bobby,
441
00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:48,178
And he takes them to
an ice-skating rink
442
00:15:48,279 --> 00:15:51,415
Under the-- the tube.
443
00:15:51,516 --> 00:15:53,717
That's funny because
smiley reminds me
444
00:15:53,818 --> 00:15:57,154
Of someone
from mary poppins--
445
00:15:57,255 --> 00:16:00,324
Someone who, for instance,
446
00:16:00,425 --> 00:16:03,994
Comes riding in
on some sort of jalopy,
447
00:16:04,095 --> 00:16:06,830
And he has whipped ices
for everyone, and he says,
448
00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:08,932
"come on, everyone,
I have whipped ices."
449
00:16:09,033 --> 00:16:10,734
And then when they get
close enough to him,
450
00:16:10,835 --> 00:16:13,771
He grabs them and rapes
the shit out of them.
451
00:16:13,872 --> 00:16:15,805
And then he tosses them
in the backseat.
452
00:16:15,906 --> 00:16:18,642
And then off he goes,
and then,
453
00:16:18,743 --> 00:16:21,712
"chip, chip, cheerio !"
454
00:16:28,119 --> 00:16:29,620
Right.
That's it, right ?
455
00:16:29,721 --> 00:16:31,154
That checks out,
that's the address, isn't it ?
456
00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:32,156
Yeah.
457
00:16:32,257 --> 00:16:34,024
Yeah, that's it.
Call that in.
458
00:16:34,125 --> 00:16:38,129
Yeah, reno,
this is 11 charlie fif--
459
00:16:38,229 --> 00:16:40,697
No need for that.
460
00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:43,167
Uh, while we're at it,
461
00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:45,569
Why don't you give us
your gun ?
462
00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:49,907
Oh, uh, well,
these are sort of issue.
463
00:16:50,008 --> 00:16:52,576
I'll be all right.
464
00:16:52,677 --> 00:16:53,643
No worries.
465
00:16:53,745 --> 00:16:55,679
Be right back out.
You watch the car.
466
00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:57,781
Okay.
All right.
467
00:16:57,882 --> 00:17:00,550
I'll watch the car then.
468
00:17:01,452 --> 00:17:02,819
( smiley )
all right, everybody, on the ground !
469
00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:06,022
This is a robbery !
Don't want any heros !
470
00:17:06,123 --> 00:17:07,424
( gunfire )
471
00:17:07,525 --> 00:17:09,493
( woman screaming )
472
00:17:09,594 --> 00:17:13,830
Oh, sweet lord !
Oh, sweet lord !
473
00:17:13,931 --> 00:17:15,032
Oh my god !
474
00:17:15,133 --> 00:17:17,267
( panting )
475
00:17:17,368 --> 00:17:18,736
What the heck ?
476
00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:20,170
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
477
00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:22,807
All right...
We were never here.
478
00:17:22,907 --> 00:17:24,941
We were never here.
479
00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:28,145
But just in case,
let's get out stories straight.
480
00:17:28,246 --> 00:17:30,214
Some mexican drug cartel
in there...
481
00:17:30,314 --> 00:17:33,150
( gasping )
cocaine deal gone bad...
482
00:17:33,251 --> 00:17:35,553
I stopped it.
483
00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:36,653
They were thinking
about starting
484
00:17:36,755 --> 00:17:39,723
A whole
white slavery trade,
485
00:17:39,824 --> 00:17:45,529
And there's $100,000--
$100,000 cash in there.
486
00:17:45,630 --> 00:17:47,030
Oh !
487
00:17:47,131 --> 00:17:49,433
It's all good now.
488
00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:51,368
I done my job.
Yeah, you did.
489
00:17:51,469 --> 00:17:53,637
Hang on, marty.
Come on, hang on, marty.
490
00:17:53,738 --> 00:17:55,472
Shit, shit, shit, shit.
491
00:17:55,573 --> 00:17:57,307
Shit !
492
00:18:01,613 --> 00:18:04,048
( wiegel )
hi, craig !
493
00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:06,583
I can't hear you.
494
00:18:09,987 --> 00:18:13,824
I can't hear you
on the phone.
495
00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:19,129
I can't--
can you hear me ?
496
00:18:20,898 --> 00:18:22,066
I can't hear him
through the thing.
497
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:23,600
Two words.
498
00:18:23,701 --> 00:18:27,738
First word.
First word.
499
00:18:28,606 --> 00:18:29,773
Fishing.
500
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:30,807
Fish... Fish.
501
00:18:30,908 --> 00:18:33,043
Trout, bass.
502
00:18:33,144 --> 00:18:35,446
Bass. Bass.
503
00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:36,980
Second word.
504
00:18:37,081 --> 00:18:38,448
Sounds like...
505
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:41,552
Sounds like...
506
00:18:41,652 --> 00:18:45,255
Sounds like "peel,"
sounds like "tape."
507
00:18:45,356 --> 00:18:46,890
Sounds-- tape !
508
00:18:46,991 --> 00:18:51,228
Tape... Taping...
Tape.
509
00:18:51,329 --> 00:18:54,031
Throw.
510
00:18:54,132 --> 00:18:57,000
Bass... Taping.
511
00:18:57,101 --> 00:18:59,503
Bass-taping.
512
00:18:59,604 --> 00:19:01,972
Somebody's been
bass-taping you ?
513
00:19:02,073 --> 00:19:05,109
Have you been bass-taped ?
514
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:07,777
I don't know
bass-taping.
515
00:19:11,082 --> 00:19:16,287
ââ¢Âª god save our noble queen ââ¢Âª
516
00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:21,992
ââ¢Âª god save our
gracious queen ââ¢Âª
517
00:19:22,093 --> 00:19:28,198
ââ¢Âª god save the queen ââ¢Âª
518
00:19:28,299 --> 00:19:33,737
( everyone
mumbling lyrics )
519
00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:39,676
ââ¢Âª ... The pilgrims' pride ââ¢Âª
520
00:19:39,777 --> 00:19:45,115
ââ¢Âª from every
mountainside ââ¢Âª
521
00:19:45,216 --> 00:19:52,021
ââ¢Âª god save the queen ââ¢Âª
522
00:19:52,122 --> 00:19:53,357
( scanner beeps )
523
00:20:01,599 --> 00:20:04,401
"reno sheriff's department
deputy james garcia
524
00:20:04,502 --> 00:20:10,307
Busts drug ring,
recovers $97,000."
525
00:20:12,410 --> 00:20:13,443
Yeah.
526
00:20:14,979 --> 00:20:16,746
He was
a good cop.
527
00:20:16,847 --> 00:20:19,683
I'm gonna miss him.
528
00:20:19,784 --> 00:20:23,220
I'm gonna miss you,
marty.
529
00:20:23,321 --> 00:20:25,222
I'll buy you a drink.
530
00:20:25,323 --> 00:20:27,524
I'll buy you a scone.
531
00:20:27,625 --> 00:20:30,160
( chuckles )
532
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,875
( happy panting )
533
00:20:44,925 --> 00:20:49,475
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