All language subtitles for Rel s01e02 Laundry Room.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,864 --> 00:00:05,932 Oh, hey, Miss Jenkins. How you doing today? 2 00:00:05,933 --> 00:00:10,102 Oh, child, I got these damn bunions on my feet. 3 00:00:10,103 --> 00:00:12,205 I got a pedicure yesterday 4 00:00:12,206 --> 00:00:15,041 and I know they were talking about me, 5 00:00:15,042 --> 00:00:19,078 so I'm gonna learn Japanese, Chinese, Korean, something, 6 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:21,514 find out what them bitches be saying. 7 00:00:23,016 --> 00:00:25,485 A-All right, Miss Jenkins, you have a good day. 8 00:00:25,486 --> 00:00:30,089 Eh, eh. I wasn't through talking. 9 00:00:30,090 --> 00:00:31,624 This how we do it in the Chi 10 00:00:31,625 --> 00:00:33,259 On the West Side 11 00:00:33,260 --> 00:00:34,927 Where we always keep it tippin' 12 00:00:34,928 --> 00:00:36,295 Man, that ain't no lie 13 00:00:36,296 --> 00:00:38,898 Oh, oh, oh. 14 00:00:40,133 --> 00:00:42,234 (PHONE RINGS) 15 00:00:45,706 --> 00:00:47,173 Hey. 16 00:00:47,174 --> 00:00:48,975 How my babies? 17 00:00:48,976 --> 00:00:51,143 Dad, why'd you send us a Cubs hat, 18 00:00:51,144 --> 00:00:52,979 20 juice boxes 19 00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:55,248 and 12 bow ties? 20 00:00:55,249 --> 00:00:57,517 Okay, look, look. 21 00:00:57,518 --> 00:01:01,454 Last night, I had a few... sodas, 22 00:01:01,455 --> 00:01:03,523 and, uh, I had a sugar rush, you know, 23 00:01:03,524 --> 00:01:05,358 and the-the sugar went to my head. 24 00:01:05,359 --> 00:01:07,426 I ended up ordering you guys a bunch of stuff online and... 25 00:01:07,427 --> 00:01:09,629 How come you look so sad? 26 00:01:09,630 --> 00:01:11,097 Well, I... 27 00:01:11,098 --> 00:01:13,132 How come you look like you haven't been sleeping? 28 00:01:13,133 --> 00:01:15,034 I mean, I've been trying to get some sleep, but... 29 00:01:15,035 --> 00:01:16,502 Well, he looks like this because since us 30 00:01:16,503 --> 00:01:18,137 and Mommy don't live with him anymore, 31 00:01:18,138 --> 00:01:20,374 he's gonna have to try to rebuild his life 32 00:01:20,375 --> 00:01:23,709 and he's probably worried about whether or not he even can. 33 00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:25,044 Right, Daddy? 34 00:01:26,547 --> 00:01:29,382 Is that why you look so bad, Daddy? 35 00:01:29,383 --> 00:01:30,883 - Look, look, look. - BRANDI: It's okay, Daddy. 36 00:01:30,884 --> 00:01:32,552 I know you're sad. 37 00:01:32,553 --> 00:01:34,687 We can talk about this later without Terry. 38 00:01:34,688 --> 00:01:35,988 I love you. 39 00:01:35,989 --> 00:01:38,224 Keep your head up. 40 00:01:38,225 --> 00:01:40,660 TERRY: Bye, Daddy. Love you. 41 00:01:40,661 --> 00:01:42,895 Uh, I love you, too. 42 00:01:42,896 --> 00:01:45,398 And everything... 43 00:01:45,399 --> 00:01:47,733 everything's fine. (LAUGHS) 44 00:01:47,734 --> 00:01:49,368 (PHONE BEEPS OFF) 45 00:01:49,369 --> 00:01:51,604 Oh, no, it's not. 46 00:01:54,041 --> 00:01:57,310 Man, I got to stop drunk-buying my kids gifts. 47 00:01:58,545 --> 00:01:59,845 CLARENCE HATCH (ON TV): Now, before we go, 48 00:01:59,846 --> 00:02:02,515 I just want to say always listen 49 00:02:02,516 --> 00:02:04,383 to that little voice in your head. 50 00:02:04,384 --> 00:02:06,485 I listen to that voice all the time, 51 00:02:06,486 --> 00:02:09,255 and look at me, I got a talk show, a game show, 52 00:02:09,256 --> 00:02:11,557 and my wife sure is fine, ain't she, y'all? 53 00:02:11,558 --> 00:02:12,858 Come on, y'all. 54 00:02:12,859 --> 00:02:14,694 Come on, put her on the screen. 55 00:02:14,695 --> 00:02:16,662 - Mm-mm-mm. - (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 56 00:02:18,599 --> 00:02:20,700 So go out there, do something for yourself. 57 00:02:20,701 --> 00:02:22,268 Live your best life. 58 00:02:22,269 --> 00:02:25,538 And remember, you got to get up before you sit down. 59 00:02:25,539 --> 00:02:26,906 Say it with me, y'all! 60 00:02:26,907 --> 00:02:30,109 You got to get up before you sit down. 61 00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:32,678 See you tomorrow on The Clarence Hatch Show. 62 00:02:32,679 --> 00:02:34,480 - - (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) 63 00:02:34,481 --> 00:02:36,449 Oh, that-that really peps you up, when he says, 64 00:02:36,450 --> 00:02:39,251 "You got to get up before you sit down." 65 00:02:39,252 --> 00:02:41,921 (LAUGHS) Sounds like a James Brown song. 66 00:02:41,922 --> 00:02:44,056 You got to get up, ha, ha 67 00:02:44,057 --> 00:02:46,092 Before you sit down. 68 00:02:46,093 --> 00:02:48,127 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 69 00:02:48,128 --> 00:02:50,229 (LAUGHS) 70 00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:54,567 Rel. 71 00:02:56,236 --> 00:02:59,739 Rel. 72 00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:02,441 - Rel. - (SCREAMS) 73 00:03:02,442 --> 00:03:05,611 Girl, you almost got 409'd. 74 00:03:05,612 --> 00:03:07,480 Please tell me you're not wearing a 75 00:03:07,481 --> 00:03:09,148 bootleg outfit to brunch. 76 00:03:09,149 --> 00:03:11,083 You look like one of the kids on the team 77 00:03:11,084 --> 00:03:12,585 who didn't sell all their candy bars. 78 00:03:12,586 --> 00:03:14,620 (LAUGHS) 79 00:03:14,621 --> 00:03:16,455 Look, look, I'm not wearing this, okay? 80 00:03:16,456 --> 00:03:18,624 Look, I put all my clothes in the wash before I realized 81 00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:21,293 - all I had left were my pajamas. - You sleep in that? 82 00:03:21,294 --> 00:03:24,063 Yeah, I mean, you know, guys don't wear real pajamas. 83 00:03:24,064 --> 00:03:26,499 You know, we wear the stuff we won't wear outside. 84 00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:28,668 A fanny pack? 85 00:03:28,669 --> 00:03:31,337 This is not no ordinary fanny pack, this is my wash belt. 86 00:03:31,338 --> 00:03:33,673 That's where I got my detergent, uh, I got my fabric softener. 87 00:03:33,674 --> 00:03:36,676 Something you will never have to carry in there, though: condoms. 88 00:03:36,677 --> 00:03:38,110 (LAUGHS) 89 00:03:38,111 --> 00:03:39,779 Look, okay, you can hate all you want, 90 00:03:39,780 --> 00:03:41,480 but you're not gonna kill my vibe, all right? 91 00:03:41,481 --> 00:03:43,115 This brunch is the first thing I've been able to do 92 00:03:43,116 --> 00:03:44,617 since Shannon left, you know? 93 00:03:44,618 --> 00:03:46,218 I'm starting over, I'm feeling good, 94 00:03:46,219 --> 00:03:47,720 because you know something? You got to get up, 95 00:03:47,721 --> 00:03:50,589 - before you sit down. - Before you sit down. 96 00:03:51,692 --> 00:03:53,459 - Oh, what's up, man? - Hey. 97 00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:55,528 - Rel, I was shocked - Hey, Pop. 98 00:03:55,529 --> 00:03:57,496 When you texted me about going to this hip-hop jazz brunch. 99 00:03:57,497 --> 00:03:59,131 I thought you sit here all day and just cry 100 00:03:59,132 --> 00:04:00,566 about your family being gone. 101 00:04:02,402 --> 00:04:04,970 I mean, Dad, if you know I-I'm at home crying all the time, 102 00:04:04,971 --> 00:04:06,739 why you don't call or come visit me? 103 00:04:06,740 --> 00:04:08,574 You know I don't do tears, son. 104 00:04:08,575 --> 00:04:10,643 Look, I tried so hard to cry when Obama won, 105 00:04:10,644 --> 00:04:12,078 only thing that happened was 106 00:04:12,079 --> 00:04:14,079 my eye started twitching instead, man. 107 00:04:15,615 --> 00:04:18,217 When Prince died, my eye twitched for three days. 108 00:04:18,218 --> 00:04:20,920 My eye was... 109 00:04:22,956 --> 00:04:24,323 Listen, life threw me a curve ball, 110 00:04:24,324 --> 00:04:26,525 but right now I'm bouncing back. (LAUGHS) 111 00:04:26,526 --> 00:04:28,194 Bouncing back? Are you sure? 112 00:04:28,195 --> 00:04:29,829 'Cause this fake Bulls outfit 113 00:04:29,830 --> 00:04:32,498 is screaming "life just dumped all over your ass." 114 00:04:32,499 --> 00:04:33,899 (LAUGHS) 115 00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,534 - Come on, man. - Look, what kind of jersey 116 00:04:35,535 --> 00:04:37,970 - got a first name on it? - Scottie! 117 00:04:37,971 --> 00:04:39,705 REL: Look, I just think we deserve 118 00:04:39,706 --> 00:04:41,307 to do something for ourselves, you know? 119 00:04:41,308 --> 00:04:42,875 We've been through a lot the last year. 120 00:04:42,876 --> 00:04:45,745 You know, Mom passed away and Nat did some time 121 00:04:45,746 --> 00:04:48,047 and Shannon left with the kids and, you know, Brittany... 122 00:04:48,048 --> 00:04:51,751 Oh, I'm good. In fact, I'm killing it. 123 00:04:51,752 --> 00:04:53,285 (BRITTANY LAUGHS) 124 00:04:53,286 --> 00:04:55,921 But your pain is my pain, too. 125 00:04:55,922 --> 00:04:57,957 (BEEPING) 126 00:04:57,958 --> 00:05:00,860 Wait a minute. (LAUGHS) 127 00:05:00,861 --> 00:05:02,128 Laundry is ready, y'all. 128 00:05:02,129 --> 00:05:04,630 That's right, I got a stopwatch. 129 00:05:04,631 --> 00:05:06,532 It's a key component of the wash belt. 130 00:05:06,533 --> 00:05:08,100 Be right back, guys. 131 00:05:09,836 --> 00:05:11,837 (WHISTLES) 132 00:05:11,838 --> 00:05:14,473 No, sorry, Rel, but you can't go in there. 133 00:05:14,474 --> 00:05:15,908 Larry, what are you talking about, "can't go in there"? 134 00:05:15,909 --> 00:05:17,176 My clothes are in the dryer. 135 00:05:17,177 --> 00:05:20,880 Oh, that sucks. 136 00:05:20,881 --> 00:05:23,349 The Lords are having a meeting in there. 137 00:05:23,350 --> 00:05:27,186 Bruh, there's a gang having a meeting in our laundry room? 138 00:05:27,187 --> 00:05:28,454 Yeah. 139 00:05:28,455 --> 00:05:29,889 Why did you let them in? 140 00:05:29,890 --> 00:05:31,792 What do you want me to do? 141 00:05:31,793 --> 00:05:35,294 For some reason, everybody in this building thinks I'm Jet Li. 142 00:05:35,295 --> 00:05:37,396 You know something, Larry? 143 00:05:37,397 --> 00:05:38,798 I'm going in there. 144 00:05:38,799 --> 00:05:41,100 No, man, I can't let you do that. 145 00:05:41,101 --> 00:05:45,304 They said if anybody went in there, it would be my ass. 146 00:05:45,305 --> 00:05:47,172 They're gonna take my ass. 147 00:05:53,903 --> 00:05:55,112 What's wrong Rel? 148 00:05:55,113 --> 00:05:56,446 (DOOR CLOSES) 149 00:05:56,447 --> 00:05:58,548 So I couldn't get my clothes, 150 00:05:58,549 --> 00:06:00,984 and the reason is is gonna sound insane. 151 00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,986 Uh... 152 00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:07,357 The Lords are having a meeting... 153 00:06:07,358 --> 00:06:09,659 in my laundry room. 154 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:12,763 Hold up. There's a gang in your laundry room? Why? 155 00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:14,998 Gentrification. 156 00:06:16,901 --> 00:06:20,871 Nat, that is literally the opposite of gentrification. 157 00:06:20,872 --> 00:06:23,173 I thought when I moved in this building full of old people, 158 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:26,376 - I'd be safe. - Rel, this is Chicago. 159 00:06:26,377 --> 00:06:29,146 You live in a bad neighborhood, you're just in a nice building. 160 00:06:29,147 --> 00:06:30,480 What am I supposed to do, man, you know? 161 00:06:30,481 --> 00:06:32,449 I can't call the police. 162 00:06:32,450 --> 00:06:35,319 I don't know if they're gonna help me or lock me up, you know. 163 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:38,488 And I come downstairs, they tell me I fit the description, 164 00:06:38,489 --> 00:06:40,290 put me in a police car, and I'm arguing, like, know. 165 00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:42,271 "Yeah, you think I'd call the police on myself?" 166 00:06:43,494 --> 00:06:45,462 That actually happened to my Uncle Bobby. 167 00:06:45,463 --> 00:06:47,097 He called 911, they came 168 00:06:47,098 --> 00:06:48,832 and arrested him for having chest pains. 169 00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:52,569 Now that's what they call cardiac arrest. (LAUGHS) 170 00:06:55,606 --> 00:06:56,840 See, that's sickening. 171 00:06:56,841 --> 00:06:58,176 All these gangs today 172 00:06:58,177 --> 00:07:00,143 shooting up everybody everywhere. 173 00:07:00,144 --> 00:07:01,978 Don't make no sense. Holding the gun sideways. 174 00:07:01,979 --> 00:07:03,947 This ain't... that's not how you shoot a gun. 175 00:07:03,948 --> 00:07:06,716 That's how you get carpal tunnel. 176 00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:08,318 Okay, Dad, what you mean, "gangs today"? 177 00:07:08,319 --> 00:07:09,920 Gangs have always been like this. 178 00:07:09,921 --> 00:07:11,655 Oh, not The Dragons. 179 00:07:11,656 --> 00:07:13,557 Oh, Lord, no. 180 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,125 (NAT WHOOPS) 181 00:07:15,126 --> 00:07:17,494 I love the story about The Dragons. 182 00:07:17,495 --> 00:07:19,329 What are The Dragons, again? 183 00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:21,098 (SIGHS) The Dragons was Dad's band. 184 00:07:21,099 --> 00:07:22,499 Oh, excusez-moi. 185 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:26,169 We were a band and a gang: bangers. 186 00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:28,171 We was a good gang. 187 00:07:28,172 --> 00:07:31,675 We would, like, bully doctors to give out free flu shots. 188 00:07:31,676 --> 00:07:33,810 You-you ever had to rumble with a bunch of doctors? 189 00:07:33,811 --> 00:07:36,880 Get a stethoscope wrapped around your neck. 190 00:07:36,881 --> 00:07:38,982 All right, look, yeah, look, all this is crazy, man. 191 00:07:38,983 --> 00:07:40,183 Look, I'm just gonna go down there 192 00:07:40,184 --> 00:07:41,384 and get my clothes again myself. 193 00:07:41,385 --> 00:07:42,652 Oh, wait a minute, Rel. 194 00:07:42,653 --> 00:07:44,221 Rel, uh-uh, uh-uh. 195 00:07:44,222 --> 00:07:45,956 You know, whenever you try to reason with people, 196 00:07:45,957 --> 00:07:47,824 you always wind up saying something to make it worse. 197 00:07:47,825 --> 00:07:49,826 Besides, you can't beat a whole gang, you ain't Jet Li. 198 00:07:49,827 --> 00:07:52,462 What is it with y'all and Jet Li today? 199 00:07:52,463 --> 00:07:54,131 And what-what you gonna do? 200 00:07:54,132 --> 00:07:56,266 Look, I'm a bad bitch; I get things done. 201 00:07:59,303 --> 00:08:01,238 Y'all wait up here, I'm gonna go get his clothes, 202 00:08:01,239 --> 00:08:02,706 and we goin' to brunch. 203 00:08:06,043 --> 00:08:07,978 Oh, man, did you hear that? 204 00:08:07,979 --> 00:08:10,146 I wish she was my son. 205 00:08:15,219 --> 00:08:16,720 Hey, hey, you can't go in there. 206 00:08:16,721 --> 00:08:19,189 Look, Larry, I already know it's a gang in there. 207 00:08:19,190 --> 00:08:21,291 Get one of them out here to talk to me right now. 208 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:22,893 Okay. All right. Let me see what I can do. 209 00:08:22,894 --> 00:08:24,361 Hurry up. 210 00:08:24,362 --> 00:08:27,364 Hey, hey. There's somebody out here. 211 00:08:27,365 --> 00:08:29,232 Hey, oh. 212 00:08:29,233 --> 00:08:32,569 Little mama right here, you hella decent. 213 00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:34,638 Got your hair done, nails done. 214 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,173 Everything did. 215 00:08:36,174 --> 00:08:38,074 (LAUGHS) 216 00:08:38,075 --> 00:08:40,844 Mm, mm, look at that. 217 00:08:40,845 --> 00:08:42,879 And you slim-thick, too? 218 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,614 What you got going on, though? 219 00:08:44,615 --> 00:08:45,916 Well, I'm a fashion designer. 220 00:08:45,917 --> 00:08:47,684 I actually made my own shirt. 221 00:08:47,685 --> 00:08:49,186 - What? - Yeah. 222 00:08:49,187 --> 00:08:50,587 Oh, that's hella crazy. 223 00:08:50,588 --> 00:08:54,224 (SINGSONGY): She's independent. 224 00:08:54,225 --> 00:08:55,959 Making shirts and everything, 225 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,561 but-but where your store at, though? 226 00:08:57,562 --> 00:08:59,629 I have an online boutique I'm working on. 227 00:08:59,630 --> 00:09:01,598 Oh, man, you scamming people, that's crazy. 228 00:09:01,599 --> 00:09:05,068 - I don't scam nobody. - N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no, 229 00:09:05,069 --> 00:09:07,070 no, no, little mama, I don't mean it like that. 230 00:09:07,071 --> 00:09:10,040 I mean, I actually love scamming, that's what I do. 231 00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:13,510 (LAUGHS) Matter of fact... 232 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,078 you should be my baby mama. 233 00:09:15,079 --> 00:09:19,583 (LAUGHS) Boy, I could never ever be your baby mama. 234 00:09:19,584 --> 00:09:22,619 You are literally one of the dustiest dudes I've ever seen. 235 00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:24,421 Dusty? 236 00:09:24,422 --> 00:09:26,089 I ain't never dusty, you know what I'm saying? 237 00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:28,625 I got this whole outfit from Zara. What you mean? 238 00:09:28,626 --> 00:09:30,527 What kind of color scheme is that? 239 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,462 Boy, you're wearing three different blacks. 240 00:09:32,463 --> 00:09:34,864 You got glove black, light black, 241 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,766 and ashy black. Boy, you dusty. 242 00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:39,603 Look, just please let me get my friend's clothes 243 00:09:39,604 --> 00:09:41,805 and stop wasting my time, because trust me, 244 00:09:41,806 --> 00:09:45,242 you could never have a bad bitch like me. 245 00:09:45,243 --> 00:09:47,777 Oh, my God, here we go with that "bad bitch..." 246 00:09:47,778 --> 00:09:49,512 "I'm a bad bitch, I'm a bad... " 247 00:09:49,513 --> 00:09:51,481 You know, s-some of you are just okay bitches, 248 00:09:51,482 --> 00:09:52,816 you know what I'm saying? Well, look, I'm gonna say this 249 00:09:52,817 --> 00:09:54,150 to you, like, you talking about 250 00:09:54,151 --> 00:09:55,252 you're a fashion designer, too. 251 00:09:55,253 --> 00:09:56,953 Come on, look at that shirt. 252 00:09:56,954 --> 00:09:59,789 You're like a princess and a frog, like, put together. 253 00:09:59,790 --> 00:10:02,692 I'm only saying this to you, I'm gonna keep it 100, though. 254 00:10:02,693 --> 00:10:04,294 You're old as hell. 255 00:10:05,529 --> 00:10:07,130 Probably pushing, like, 30, 256 00:10:07,131 --> 00:10:08,598 you know what I'm saying? 257 00:10:08,599 --> 00:10:13,169 (EXHALES) Can I be real with you? 258 00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:15,705 If your dreams ain't came true now... 259 00:10:15,706 --> 00:10:18,408 (CLICKS TONGUE) ...they ain't never coming true. 260 00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:20,610 And you got auntie hands. 261 00:10:28,185 --> 00:10:30,787 Am I too old to have dreams? 262 00:10:32,223 --> 00:10:33,957 G-Guys, don't answer that. 263 00:10:35,359 --> 00:10:37,027 What am I doing with my life? 264 00:10:37,028 --> 00:10:38,495 I want to be a fashion designer, 265 00:10:38,496 --> 00:10:40,263 but what steps have I really taken? 266 00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:41,898 And when Tupac was my age, 267 00:10:41,899 --> 00:10:45,268 he was already dead, man. 268 00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,504 And do I have auntie hands? 269 00:10:47,505 --> 00:10:49,739 - Rel, look at my hands. Look at them! - Hey. 270 00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:51,541 What the heck is auntie hands? 271 00:10:51,542 --> 00:10:52,942 And did you get my clothes? 272 00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:55,145 Do I look like I got the clothes? 273 00:10:56,647 --> 00:10:58,882 You wear glasses. Do you see clothes? 274 00:10:58,883 --> 00:11:00,250 Ain't no clothes, Rel. 275 00:11:00,251 --> 00:11:01,785 There ain't gonna never be no clothes. 276 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,653 Just like ain't no brunch 'cause brunch is over. 277 00:11:03,654 --> 00:11:05,155 Everything is over! 278 00:11:05,156 --> 00:11:06,890 Brunch is never over! 279 00:11:06,891 --> 00:11:09,859 I'm pretty sure they shut down serving at 3:00 p.m. 280 00:11:09,860 --> 00:11:11,594 Okay. 281 00:11:11,595 --> 00:11:15,031 All right, I can't let this sit no more. 282 00:11:15,032 --> 00:11:17,667 A Lord owes me a favor. 283 00:11:17,668 --> 00:11:20,170 What? Why you ain't say nothing before? 284 00:11:20,171 --> 00:11:23,506 Why does a gang member owe you a favor? 285 00:11:23,507 --> 00:11:26,710 Dad, the Lord that owes us a favor is cousin Shawn. 286 00:11:26,711 --> 00:11:29,045 Wait, which cousin is Shawn? 287 00:11:29,046 --> 00:11:33,550 Oh, that's your cousin Arlene's aunt's son's 288 00:11:33,551 --> 00:11:37,887 brother's uncle's son's sister's son. 289 00:11:37,888 --> 00:11:39,155 Look, just to reiterate, okay, 290 00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:40,890 this is a once in a lifetime favor. 291 00:11:40,891 --> 00:11:43,793 I can have anything I want. Look, having a gang favor 292 00:11:43,794 --> 00:11:46,663 is like having a fairy godmother with... with a pistol. 293 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:48,998 Do... 294 00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:52,469 If you want me to waste that once in a lifetime favor 295 00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:54,637 on your laundry... 296 00:11:54,638 --> 00:11:56,506 I mean, I... 297 00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:59,209 Hey. Make the call. 298 00:12:06,717 --> 00:12:08,918 Yo, Shawn, this is Nat, man. 299 00:12:10,955 --> 00:12:13,223 Yeah, I need to use that favor. 300 00:12:13,224 --> 00:12:16,226 (SIGHS) Yeah, your boys is in my brother's laundry room, 301 00:12:16,227 --> 00:12:18,228 and he just needs to get his clothes out 302 00:12:18,229 --> 00:12:20,363 so we can go to brunch. 303 00:12:22,466 --> 00:12:25,368 Yes, this is that favor. 304 00:12:27,938 --> 00:12:30,340 Said it should probably be quick. 305 00:12:30,341 --> 00:12:32,442 - (KNOCKING) - Damn. 306 00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:39,315 Ha, ha! We got my clothes, yo. 307 00:12:39,316 --> 00:12:41,718 (LAUGHS) We are going to brunch. Yes! 308 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,853 - This day is not over with yet. - (DAD LAUGHS) 309 00:12:43,854 --> 00:12:47,056 Ooh. 310 00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:49,826 Damn, Rel, you're taking this separation worse than I thought. 311 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:54,531 Man, these ain't my clothes. You got to call Shawn back. 312 00:12:54,532 --> 00:12:56,166 Call Shawn back? Did you know him? 313 00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:58,334 Yo, this a once-in-a-lifetime favor. No do-overs. 314 00:12:58,335 --> 00:13:01,404 You know what? Damn it! I thought I would just let you all 315 00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:03,306 fly and handle this by yourselves, 316 00:13:03,307 --> 00:13:06,509 but I guess y'all don't have the wings of a... Dragon! 317 00:13:07,945 --> 00:13:10,447 Spread your wings, Daddy! Spread 'em! 318 00:13:10,448 --> 00:13:12,015 - (LAUGHS) - Go down there 319 00:13:12,016 --> 00:13:14,350 and give these Lords a dose of that Dragon fire. 320 00:13:14,351 --> 00:13:16,219 (BLOWING) 321 00:13:17,855 --> 00:13:20,790 Drag-on! 322 00:13:20,791 --> 00:13:22,158 (WHOOPING) 323 00:13:22,159 --> 00:13:24,260 Drag-ons! 324 00:13:25,663 --> 00:13:27,664 Dad, what happened? Where is your shoe? 325 00:13:27,665 --> 00:13:29,065 Hey, don't worry about that. 326 00:13:29,066 --> 00:13:30,667 Lords didn't know what hit them. 327 00:13:30,668 --> 00:13:33,136 I got down there, Larry was trying to hold the door. 328 00:13:33,137 --> 00:13:34,971 Boom! Kicked the door in like Jet Li. 329 00:13:34,972 --> 00:13:37,841 - God, not again. - But this was my gout leg, 330 00:13:37,842 --> 00:13:40,610 so, my gout flared up. 331 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:43,046 So I had to take my shoe off. My leg was swollen up. 332 00:13:43,047 --> 00:13:44,881 Man came at me with a gun, took my shoe. 333 00:13:44,882 --> 00:13:47,684 Bam! Hit him upside his face. 334 00:13:47,685 --> 00:13:49,565 Shoe went flying, so I couldn't find my shoe. 335 00:13:49,566 --> 00:13:51,169 So I'm looking at them. I said, "Brother you want some?" 336 00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:54,319 He said "no". Slapped him anyway. 337 00:13:54,525 --> 00:13:56,960 Now he crying. 338 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,395 And the rest of the gang like, "Why you make our boy cry?" 339 00:13:59,396 --> 00:14:00,797 So they all pull their guns out, 340 00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,198 but they're holding 'em sideways, 341 00:14:02,199 --> 00:14:04,667 so everybody gonna get shot. I gots to go. 342 00:14:04,668 --> 00:14:07,070 Next you know, 343 00:14:07,071 --> 00:14:08,905 I'm on trial for homicide, 12 people. 344 00:14:08,906 --> 00:14:11,274 I can't do that time. 345 00:14:11,275 --> 00:14:13,443 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 346 00:14:16,347 --> 00:14:18,448 Larry, what you doing here? 347 00:14:18,449 --> 00:14:21,251 Hey, Mister, you dropped your shoe when you ran away. 348 00:14:21,252 --> 00:14:23,353 Nah... 349 00:14:23,354 --> 00:14:24,854 - Hey, ran away? - (DAD MUTTERS) 350 00:14:24,855 --> 00:14:26,589 LARRY: Yeah. 351 00:14:26,590 --> 00:14:30,126 He told The Lords they should be giving away flu shots. 352 00:14:30,127 --> 00:14:34,163 Then he started making dragon sounds and blowing in the air. 353 00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:39,035 Everybody started laughing, man. 354 00:14:39,036 --> 00:14:42,805 Dude ran away so fast his shoe came off. 355 00:14:42,806 --> 00:14:45,808 Here you go, man. 356 00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,416 Look, this is crazy. 357 00:14:53,417 --> 00:14:56,519 Rel, you better put on a long coat 'cause I'm starving. 358 00:14:57,655 --> 00:14:59,289 Man, what...? 359 00:14:59,290 --> 00:15:02,292 Rel, you got a suit right here! 360 00:15:02,293 --> 00:15:03,893 You good. We can still make brunch, 361 00:15:03,894 --> 00:15:05,795 and you can get your laundry when we come back home. 362 00:15:05,796 --> 00:15:07,297 I can't wear my Sunday suit on a Saturday. 363 00:15:07,298 --> 00:15:10,266 Don't make no sense. 364 00:15:10,267 --> 00:15:11,768 Rel, just put the damn suit on! 365 00:15:11,769 --> 00:15:15,772 Look, y'all, it's the principle of it, okay? 366 00:15:15,773 --> 00:15:17,974 Y'all know how things have been hard for me lately. 367 00:15:17,975 --> 00:15:20,443 I just needed today to go right. I need something to go right! 368 00:15:20,444 --> 00:15:22,979 Then I was extra motivated. I was watching Clarence Hatch. 369 00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:25,281 And he said somethin so profound. 370 00:15:25,282 --> 00:15:29,452 He said you got to get up to sit down. 371 00:15:29,453 --> 00:15:31,654 Nah, you got it all mixed up. 372 00:15:31,655 --> 00:15:33,823 You see, you got to sit down before you get up. 373 00:15:33,824 --> 00:15:35,692 No, no, no. You got to get up before you sit down. 374 00:15:35,693 --> 00:15:36,597 That's the... 375 00:15:36,598 --> 00:15:38,094 Yeah, but if you're already sitting down... 376 00:15:38,095 --> 00:15:41,164 Can we just go eat?! 377 00:15:41,165 --> 00:15:43,299 Look, guys, honestly, I... 378 00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:45,034 I'm not going nowhere without my clothes, okay? 379 00:15:45,035 --> 00:15:47,303 So, if you want to eat... 380 00:15:47,304 --> 00:15:48,938 go ahead, go eat then. 381 00:15:48,939 --> 00:15:50,740 - Okay, let's go. - Yeah, we going. Let's go. 382 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:53,509 (MUMBLING) 383 00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:54,944 Well, that's the plan. 384 00:16:38,543 --> 00:16:40,378 Where you think you're going? 385 00:16:40,379 --> 00:16:44,348 Um... to brunch. 386 00:16:44,349 --> 00:16:47,718 See, the thing is, you not going nowhere. 387 00:16:47,719 --> 00:16:50,655 Okay, look, if-if this about 388 00:16:50,656 --> 00:16:55,226 what I may have allegedly saw 389 00:16:55,227 --> 00:16:57,328 in the dryer, uh... 390 00:16:57,329 --> 00:16:58,562 I don't even know what that is. 391 00:16:58,563 --> 00:17:00,197 Oh, you know what that is. 392 00:17:00,198 --> 00:17:02,266 That's cocaine. 393 00:17:02,267 --> 00:17:04,035 That was really specific. 394 00:17:04,036 --> 00:17:05,736 Uh... 395 00:17:07,806 --> 00:17:09,840 Uh, okay, guys, look, 396 00:17:09,841 --> 00:17:12,510 let me level with y'all. 397 00:17:12,511 --> 00:17:14,145 Um, if I can be honest, 398 00:17:14,146 --> 00:17:16,280 you dudes pretty much ruined my damn day. 399 00:17:16,281 --> 00:17:18,049 You know what I mean? 400 00:17:18,050 --> 00:17:20,051 (SIGHS) 401 00:17:20,052 --> 00:17:22,553 My life hasn't been exactly perfect, man. 402 00:17:22,554 --> 00:17:25,389 I mean, my wife left me, and took the kids with her and... 403 00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:28,559 Man, ain't nobody trying to hear your life story, 404 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,028 especially with this bogus-ass short set you got on. 405 00:17:31,029 --> 00:17:33,431 I ain't never win no spelling bee, 406 00:17:33,432 --> 00:17:35,066 but I swear 'fore God 407 00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:37,234 I ain't never seen "Bulls" spelled with no "Z." 408 00:17:37,235 --> 00:17:41,339 (LAUGHTER) 409 00:17:41,340 --> 00:17:42,840 Hey, buddy goofy as hell. 410 00:17:42,841 --> 00:17:44,942 You might as well go on and get out of here 411 00:17:44,943 --> 00:17:46,544 and take your panties with you. 412 00:17:46,545 --> 00:17:48,612 That's why your wife left you, 413 00:17:48,613 --> 00:17:51,248 kids don't respect you. 414 00:17:51,249 --> 00:17:53,517 She tired of being with a bum. 415 00:17:53,518 --> 00:17:56,687 It's okay. They gonna have a new daddy soon. 416 00:17:56,688 --> 00:17:59,957 Instead of your clown ass. 417 00:18:11,837 --> 00:18:13,938 Um... (SCOFFS) 418 00:18:13,939 --> 00:18:16,240 I mean, the crazy thing is, you-you calling me a clown, 419 00:18:16,241 --> 00:18:17,708 and like, "Ooh, they gonna have a new daddy," 420 00:18:17,709 --> 00:18:19,243 and all at good stuff. (LAUGHS) 421 00:18:19,244 --> 00:18:21,712 But, like, only clown I see is, uh... 422 00:18:21,713 --> 00:18:23,848 (LAUGHS AIRILY) 423 00:18:28,186 --> 00:18:30,554 ...is standing right in front of me. (LAUGHS) 424 00:18:30,555 --> 00:18:32,790 Who you talking to, fat boy? 425 00:18:32,791 --> 00:18:34,258 You getting real tough. 426 00:18:34,259 --> 00:18:36,027 You see Lord and 'em over here? 427 00:18:36,028 --> 00:18:37,828 They'd kill for ManMan. 428 00:18:37,829 --> 00:18:39,295 I'm God on the West Side. 429 00:18:39,296 --> 00:18:41,608 Don't gamble with your life for your pride 430 00:18:41,609 --> 00:18:44,010 especially not in this bogus-ass outfit. 431 00:18:44,011 --> 00:18:45,911 You want to die in that? 432 00:18:45,912 --> 00:18:49,115 Look, I don't want to die in my pajamas, that's true. 433 00:18:53,153 --> 00:18:56,208 I know who you is, brother. I know your type. 434 00:18:56,209 --> 00:18:57,657 I know all y'all, right? 435 00:18:57,658 --> 00:18:58,924 You go around neighborhoods, 436 00:18:58,925 --> 00:19:00,760 terrorizing 'em, shooting 'em up. 437 00:19:00,761 --> 00:19:02,776 You know, not even shooting the people you're supposed to kill. 438 00:19:02,777 --> 00:19:05,298 Your killing innocent people Most of 'em are kids, yo. 439 00:19:05,299 --> 00:19:08,134 You hear me? Kids! 440 00:19:08,135 --> 00:19:10,202 (SCOFFS) You ever watch the news? 441 00:19:10,203 --> 00:19:12,571 Y'all be seeing those mothers that's crying, 442 00:19:12,572 --> 00:19:14,507 thinking they're gonna see their kid come home 443 00:19:14,508 --> 00:19:16,642 from school that day? 444 00:19:16,643 --> 00:19:18,077 But no, we got some ignorant fools out here 445 00:19:18,078 --> 00:19:19,679 just shooting it up. (SCOFFS) 446 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,914 That don't that make you want to stop, man? 447 00:19:21,915 --> 00:19:24,050 Look, bullets ain't got no names, you hear me? 448 00:19:24,051 --> 00:19:26,986 I ain't choose this life. This life chose me. 449 00:19:26,987 --> 00:19:29,822 At the end of the day, I'm trying to survive. 450 00:19:29,823 --> 00:19:32,058 If you get smoked, you get smoked. 451 00:19:32,059 --> 00:19:34,093 Better your life than mine. 452 00:19:34,094 --> 00:19:37,330 This is Chicago, okay? This is not Chiraq. 453 00:19:37,331 --> 00:19:39,365 Do y'all like that they call Chicago "Chiraq"? 454 00:19:39,366 --> 00:19:41,767 - That's cool with you? - That's where we at, boy. 455 00:19:41,768 --> 00:19:43,302 No, that's not where we at. 456 00:19:43,303 --> 00:19:44,870 You got regular citizens 457 00:19:44,871 --> 00:19:46,872 that live here, that work hard every day, 458 00:19:46,873 --> 00:19:48,874 and they should be able to come home safe 459 00:19:48,875 --> 00:19:50,943 and their kids should be able to come home safe 460 00:19:50,944 --> 00:19:53,112 and not deal with this. 461 00:19:53,113 --> 00:19:56,148 Look, man, I don't want to see nothing happen to none of y'all, 462 00:19:56,149 --> 00:20:00,052 but this mindset we got... I'm just tired of it. 463 00:20:00,053 --> 00:20:03,789 And it hurts, man. 464 00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:08,594 All right, all right, I've called the police. 465 00:20:08,595 --> 00:20:11,964 Y'all need a hearing aid? 466 00:20:11,965 --> 00:20:13,966 I said I called the police. 467 00:20:13,967 --> 00:20:17,036 They're on the way, so y'all get the hell up out of here! 468 00:20:17,037 --> 00:20:20,673 And I'm in 4B. Come and see me if you dare. 469 00:20:20,674 --> 00:20:22,508 I ain't scared of y'all. 470 00:20:22,509 --> 00:20:25,945 I got breast cancer, all right? 471 00:20:25,946 --> 00:20:28,247 Look, I'm gonna see you around, man. 472 00:20:30,817 --> 00:20:32,852 Damn, Rel. 473 00:20:32,853 --> 00:20:35,488 That was inspiring, man. 474 00:20:35,489 --> 00:20:37,477 Man, you told 'em exactly what they need... 475 00:20:37,478 --> 00:20:41,894 Okay. Larry, bruh, I... I swear to you 476 00:20:41,895 --> 00:20:44,930 I'm gonna get you fired. 477 00:20:45,866 --> 00:20:48,033 Hold up. 478 00:20:48,034 --> 00:20:50,569 Where the hell are my panties? 479 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:58,424 Make sure you grab a copy of my new book, 480 00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:01,427 You Gotta Get Up To Sit Down, Part Two: 481 00:21:01,428 --> 00:21:04,196 How to Get a Wife As Fine As Mine. 482 00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:06,832 Okay, y'all, that'll wrap our show up for today. 483 00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:09,201 And see you tomorrow on The Clarence Hatch Show. 484 00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:12,304 - (APPLAUSE ON TV) - (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 485 00:21:13,774 --> 00:21:15,875 NEWSWOMAN: Coming up on the news at 11:00. 486 00:21:15,876 --> 00:21:18,577 Another senseless shooting on the West Side of Chicago. 487 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:21,781 Tyrell "ManMan" Jefferson, the alleged leader of The Lords, 488 00:21:21,782 --> 00:21:24,884 was shot and killed in a gang-style execution, 489 00:21:24,885 --> 00:21:26,719 along with two other innocent victims. 490 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,488 More details after the break. 491 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:38,382 492 00:21:38,432 --> 00:21:42,982 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36788

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