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1
00:00:01,403 --> 00:00:03,605
(Studio audience cheering)
2
00:00:03,750 --> 00:00:05,036
I love you, honey.
3
00:00:05,078 --> 00:00:07,080
Here, watch whatever you want.
4
00:00:07,630 --> 00:00:10,208
So this is what a remote feels like.
5
00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:12,363
You never let me touch it before.
6
00:00:12,369 --> 00:00:14,030
Yeah, don't get too used to it.
7
00:00:14,094 --> 00:00:15,713
I'll never let you touch it again.
8
00:00:15,751 --> 00:00:17,132
(Laugh)
9
00:00:17,144 --> 00:00:18,080
Give me that.
10
00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:24,798
I guess they're back.
11
00:00:28,191 --> 00:00:30,144
Doesn't anybody knock any more?
12
00:00:30,616 --> 00:00:33,408
What, were you guys raised in a zom-barn?
13
00:00:34,407 --> 00:00:38,780
(Laughs)
14
00:00:39,135 --> 00:00:41,248
(Groans and coughs)
15
00:00:46,535 --> 00:00:48,162
Sorry, I forgot my line.
16
00:00:48,385 --> 00:00:49,450
Forgot your line?
17
00:00:50,209 --> 00:00:51,583
You don't have a line.
18
00:00:51,855 --> 00:00:54,002
Your line is "Ugh!"
19
00:00:54,122 --> 00:00:55,383
Ugh!
20
00:00:55,503 --> 00:00:56,713
It's the fifth fuckin' time, man.
21
00:00:56,755 --> 00:00:58,131
It's not like a line.
22
00:00:58,172 --> 00:00:59,638
Fuck me. God...
23
00:00:59,675 --> 00:01:01,175
I'm sorry, guys. I can't do this.
24
00:01:01,217 --> 00:01:02,063
I need a minute.
25
00:01:02,100 --> 00:01:03,972
Rob... What's going on, man?
26
00:01:04,004 --> 00:01:05,827
I need a minute. I'm
sorry, I need a minute.
27
00:01:05,838 --> 00:01:07,983
Why didn't you finish the scene?
28
00:01:08,103 --> 00:01:09,156
I can't do this.
29
00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:10,484
Well, what's the problem?
30
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:13,333
The problem is I'm doing
a sitcom with zombies.
31
00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:14,458
That's the problem.
32
00:01:14,528 --> 00:01:16,501
Alright... why don't we...
33
00:01:16,621 --> 00:01:18,389
take ten? Alright?
34
00:01:18,464 --> 00:01:20,007
- Come on.
- A.D.: Okay, everybody,
35
00:01:20,029 --> 00:01:21,997
- let's take ten.
- Tell me all about it.
36
00:01:22,019 --> 00:01:23,621
Zombies back to your dressing room.
37
00:01:23,657 --> 00:01:25,397
If someone could come clean
up this broken glass...
38
00:01:25,408 --> 00:01:27,833
Zombies are very hot right now.
39
00:01:27,860 --> 00:01:30,984
Aaron, I don't give a flying fuck, alright?
40
00:01:31,164 --> 00:01:34,186
This show was supposed
to be about my life, okay?
41
00:01:34,216 --> 00:01:36,862
And two weeks later, I got zombies
42
00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:38,755
and vampires in my living room,
43
00:01:38,797 --> 00:01:41,134
and I'm trying to kill
them with "laughter."
44
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:41,844
Okay?
45
00:01:41,861 --> 00:01:44,408
This show is a gigantic piece of shit!
46
00:01:44,443 --> 00:01:46,529
AARON: Well now, wait, I
don't think that it's fair
47
00:01:46,546 --> 00:01:49,007
- It's not fair.
- ... To judge the show on Tuesday.
48
00:01:49,028 --> 00:01:51,064
We don't shoot it until Friday, right?
49
00:01:51,083 --> 00:01:53,644
You really just have to
trust the process here.
50
00:01:53,666 --> 00:01:55,039
We haven't even done rewrites.
51
00:01:55,050 --> 00:01:57,524
- And Josh here got rewrites, right?
- Yes.
52
00:01:57,565 --> 00:02:01,378
You can't rewrite that the premise
of the show is insane, okay?
53
00:02:01,402 --> 00:02:04,088
Zombies are bad enough, but vampires?!
54
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,416
Not vampires, "zompires."
55
00:02:08,094 --> 00:02:10,203
- Where did you find this douchebag, seriously?
- Replace him.
56
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:12,455
- No.
- Please, oh fuck. Please replace me.
57
00:02:12,485 --> 00:02:14,593
Please, please, please
get somebody else. Please!
58
00:02:14,795 --> 00:02:16,870
No. We were laughing.
59
00:02:16,990 --> 00:02:17,825
Honestly.
60
00:02:18,211 --> 00:02:19,696
Didn't you think that
he was funny, darling?
61
00:02:19,717 --> 00:02:20,703
Yes!
62
00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,375
Very funny, Rob.
63
00:02:22,382 --> 00:02:25,176
I was laughing the whole entire time.
64
00:02:25,218 --> 00:02:26,427
Hilarious!
65
00:02:26,469 --> 00:02:28,538
- And likeable.
- Likeable.
66
00:02:28,592 --> 00:02:30,877
These jokes wouldn't make a person laugh,
67
00:02:30,997 --> 00:02:32,941
let alone kill a zombie.
68
00:02:32,955 --> 00:02:34,352
Zompire!
69
00:02:34,394 --> 00:02:35,812
Fuck you, dumb-bag!
70
00:02:35,854 --> 00:02:37,890
- Fuck you!
- I don't have to take this shit.
71
00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:39,537
I know funny, and this is funny.
72
00:02:39,544 --> 00:02:42,911
I was head writer on "She Stole My Face."
73
00:02:43,113 --> 00:02:44,478
What the fuck was that?!
74
00:02:44,521 --> 00:02:46,446
Yeah, hang your hat on that piece of shit.
75
00:02:46,522 --> 00:02:48,184
As soon as this show's
a hit, I'm replacing...
76
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,469
Nobody's replacing anybody.
77
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:50,625
You don't have to replace me,
78
00:02:51,002 --> 00:02:53,088
- 'cause I quit.
- Good, go! Bye!
79
00:02:53,137 --> 00:02:55,438
- Rob, you're not...
- You're not going to quit.
80
00:02:55,459 --> 00:02:57,520
You're both very nice people.
81
00:02:57,563 --> 00:02:58,445
I like you.
82
00:02:59,544 --> 00:03:01,922
You're good-looking, tall Jews.
83
00:03:02,042 --> 00:03:03,423
Somehow, you're blond.
84
00:03:03,464 --> 00:03:04,774
I don't know how that happened,
85
00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:06,065
but it's good for the tribe.
86
00:03:06,551 --> 00:03:07,996
But I can't do this shit any more.
87
00:03:08,261 --> 00:03:09,244
I'm sorry.
88
00:03:09,534 --> 00:03:10,411
I'm done.
89
00:03:10,443 --> 00:03:12,885
No one can do this show but you, Rob.
90
00:03:12,917 --> 00:03:13,987
No one.
91
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:21,625
What about Matthew Broderick?
92
00:03:22,233 --> 00:03:23,484
Bill Burr?
93
00:03:25,341 --> 00:03:26,433
Chris Rock.
94
00:03:27,864 --> 00:03:29,677
Jack Black.
95
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:34,202
Jack Black...
96
00:03:34,203 --> 00:03:36,223
- Yes!
- Genius.
97
00:03:36,997 --> 00:03:42,170
(♪♪♪)
98
00:03:47,175 --> 00:03:49,552
(♪♪♪)
99
00:03:50,887 --> 00:03:52,055
- Hey.
- Hey.
100
00:03:52,097 --> 00:03:53,686
- Havin' a party?
- Mm-hm.
101
00:03:54,599 --> 00:03:56,101
That's a good one.
102
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,635
Okay, that'll be $1,152.
103
00:04:02,690 --> 00:04:05,153
Okay... and thank you.
104
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,203
I'm sorry, the card's declined.
105
00:04:10,229 --> 00:04:11,031
Oh.
106
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,219
It happens sometimes.
107
00:04:12,289 --> 00:04:13,290
Okay.
108
00:04:13,725 --> 00:04:15,527
- Let's try this one.
- Sure.
109
00:04:18,372 --> 00:04:20,643
I'm sorry. It's declined, as well.
110
00:04:20,684 --> 00:04:21,954
That's okay.
111
00:04:21,968 --> 00:04:24,295
That's a lot of wine I'd have to put back.
112
00:04:24,337 --> 00:04:25,887
Let me see how much cash I have on me.
113
00:04:25,922 --> 00:04:27,215
Sure.
114
00:04:29,843 --> 00:04:31,260
Dollars or pesos?
115
00:04:33,221 --> 00:04:34,388
(Laugh)
116
00:04:35,556 --> 00:04:37,230
You don't take pesos?
117
00:04:37,350 --> 00:04:38,559
(Chuckle)
118
00:04:40,145 --> 00:04:41,201
You sure?
119
00:04:41,544 --> 00:04:45,316
(♪♪♪)
120
00:04:51,937 --> 00:04:53,407
Come on!
121
00:04:55,368 --> 00:04:56,410
Yeah...
122
00:04:58,079 --> 00:04:59,271
Where the hell am I?
123
00:04:59,391 --> 00:05:01,161
I'm taking you to lunch, remember?
124
00:05:01,174 --> 00:05:03,192
- In this shithole?
- This is my spot, man!
125
00:05:03,232 --> 00:05:05,188
Thai noodle bowls.
Five-ninety-nine a piece.
126
00:05:05,203 --> 00:05:07,661
I'd rather eat at the
empty-Blockbuster over there.
127
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,298
The crumbs off the floor.
128
00:05:10,141 --> 00:05:11,826
Boy, they fucked up that place good, huh?
129
00:05:11,829 --> 00:05:13,518
Yeah, who'd have thought the ability
130
00:05:13,551 --> 00:05:15,132
to stream movies directly into your home
131
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,847
would put that place out of business?
132
00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:19,522
I gotta get this.
133
00:05:19,547 --> 00:05:21,440
Our lunch special's about
to end. I'll grab us a table.
134
00:05:21,494 --> 00:05:23,151
- Two noodle bowls.
- Yeah, you do that.
135
00:05:23,176 --> 00:05:24,862
- ANDY: Hey!
- Yeah, hello Andy.
136
00:05:24,875 --> 00:05:26,566
I heard you walked off
set. This is not good!
137
00:05:26,607 --> 00:05:27,763
I can't do that sitcom.
138
00:05:27,775 --> 00:05:29,186
You have a contract,
139
00:05:29,194 --> 00:05:30,884
and I don't think I
can get you out of that.
140
00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:33,231
I'm sorry for your ten percent,
but you gotta get me out of it.
141
00:05:33,248 --> 00:05:34,641
I'm too old for this shit.
142
00:05:34,657 --> 00:05:35,894
Listen to me, you have
to give this a chance.
143
00:05:35,907 --> 00:05:38,018
It's 110 grand an episode!
144
00:05:38,031 --> 00:05:39,176
I have enough money.
145
00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:41,086
I did 17 movies with Adam Sandler.
146
00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:42,874
Fuck Adam Sandler! And you know what?
147
00:05:42,916 --> 00:05:44,084
Fuck the money.
148
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:45,465
I never told you this, man,
149
00:05:45,488 --> 00:05:47,007
but I got into this
business for two reasons:
150
00:05:47,028 --> 00:05:49,516
One, okay, fine, the money.
Brings me a lot of pleasure.
151
00:05:49,563 --> 00:05:51,841
But two, it's because I care about people.
152
00:05:52,162 --> 00:05:54,385
And Rob, I care about you, man.
153
00:05:54,782 --> 00:05:56,732
We gotta get you back out there, you know?
154
00:05:56,766 --> 00:05:58,754
I'm at the point in my life
where I only want to do things
155
00:05:58,788 --> 00:05:59,545
that I care about.
156
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:00,866
What do I fucking tell them?!
157
00:06:00,905 --> 00:06:02,750
See if one of the zompires can kill me.
158
00:06:02,806 --> 00:06:04,076
You know, I'd like to fucking kill you.
159
00:06:04,196 --> 00:06:05,066
That'll work, too.
160
00:06:05,186 --> 00:06:07,285
Oh, by the way, Ryan
Gosling's agent called.
161
00:06:07,311 --> 00:06:09,772
You gotta get the other
half of the deposit day-of.
162
00:06:09,824 --> 00:06:11,402
- I'll have his money.
- (Phone beep)
163
00:06:11,444 --> 00:06:12,862
I gotta take this. It's my wife.
164
00:06:13,863 --> 00:06:15,658
- Hi, honey.
- Hi, baby. How was it?
165
00:06:15,778 --> 00:06:17,328
- Horrible.
- That bad?
166
00:06:17,448 --> 00:06:18,993
Worse. There was zompires.
167
00:06:19,035 --> 00:06:20,175
That's stupid.
168
00:06:20,236 --> 00:06:22,496
Hey, is there anything
wrong with our credit cards?
169
00:06:22,538 --> 00:06:23,415
There shouldn't be. Why?
170
00:06:23,432 --> 00:06:25,888
I was buying wine for
the opening night party
171
00:06:25,936 --> 00:06:27,498
and my card was declined.
172
00:06:27,890 --> 00:06:29,420
- Which one?
- All of them.
173
00:06:29,462 --> 00:06:30,520
What about the silver one?
174
00:06:30,554 --> 00:06:32,972
- It's got like a $50,000 limit.
- They declined it.
175
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:35,015
- How about the black one?
- That one, too.
176
00:06:35,135 --> 00:06:36,616
How about the really, really black one?
177
00:06:36,638 --> 00:06:37,976
I've tried all of them.
178
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:39,989
The Starbucks card wouldn't even work.
179
00:06:40,209 --> 00:06:41,521
It's probably just a mistake.
180
00:06:41,530 --> 00:06:42,889
Well, something's going on,
181
00:06:42,894 --> 00:06:44,144
and you better figure out what.
182
00:06:44,185 --> 00:06:46,062
I'll take care of it.
I'll be home in a bit.
183
00:06:46,219 --> 00:06:48,039
Jamie's going to give me
some food poisoning first.
184
00:06:48,061 --> 00:06:49,652
Okay, I'm gonna go. Love you.
185
00:06:49,732 --> 00:06:50,733
I love you, too.
186
00:06:56,554 --> 00:06:57,547
ROB: I love it.
187
00:06:58,007 --> 00:06:58,997
Good space.
188
00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:01,780
- I could put the refrigerators right there...
- Yeah.
189
00:07:02,267 --> 00:07:04,598
- Get the salad bar, juice bar...
- Yep.
190
00:07:04,718 --> 00:07:06,280
Cash registers at the front...
191
00:07:06,499 --> 00:07:08,053
- 'Scuse me for a sec.
- Sure, go ahead.
192
00:07:08,087 --> 00:07:08,876
Hello?
193
00:07:08,918 --> 00:07:10,729
- MAN: Hi, is this Mr. Schneider?
- Yeah.
194
00:07:10,932 --> 00:07:13,121
I'm calling you back from American Express.
195
00:07:13,147 --> 00:07:14,193
How can I help you?
196
00:07:14,373 --> 00:07:15,677
Yeah, my wife is trying to use
197
00:07:15,698 --> 00:07:17,424
the American Express cards
and none of them worked.
198
00:07:17,885 --> 00:07:20,084
That's because your
account's been maxed out.
199
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,182
Maxed out? That's not possible.
200
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,129
We paid off every month.
I've never missed a payment.
201
00:07:24,161 --> 00:07:25,699
Well, there's another card on your account
202
00:07:25,726 --> 00:07:27,066
with a large outstanding balance.
203
00:07:27,087 --> 00:07:28,896
There is no other card on that account.
204
00:07:31,175 --> 00:07:32,525
What's the name on that account?
205
00:07:33,972 --> 00:07:35,992
The name is "Jeff Schneider."
206
00:07:36,794 --> 00:07:38,106
That's my brother.
207
00:07:39,578 --> 00:07:40,826
Um...
208
00:07:42,130 --> 00:07:43,236
What's the balance on that?
209
00:07:43,515 --> 00:07:44,570
Just a moment.
210
00:07:45,809 --> 00:07:47,540
It's close to a million dollars.
211
00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:50,731
Motherfucker!
212
00:07:54,573 --> 00:07:55,881
I'm going to have to call you back.
213
00:07:56,337 --> 00:07:57,576
Okay, sir.
214
00:08:01,804 --> 00:08:04,111
(Phone ringing)
215
00:08:04,645 --> 00:08:06,014
JEFF: Hey, how's it goin'?
216
00:08:06,538 --> 00:08:08,457
You put your card on my account?
217
00:08:08,492 --> 00:08:09,744
You cocksucker!
218
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,172
Look, I can explain everything.
219
00:08:11,185 --> 00:08:13,691
You explain a million
dollars, you motherfucker!
220
00:08:13,733 --> 00:08:15,831
Look, it's all business expenses.
221
00:08:15,860 --> 00:08:17,991
Business expenses? You
don't even work for me!
222
00:08:18,111 --> 00:08:20,345
Look, I gotta get... another
call comin' in. I gotta go.
223
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,231
Don't you hang up on me.
224
00:08:21,275 --> 00:08:23,223
Don't you, you fuckin' thief!
225
00:08:24,032 --> 00:08:25,469
Alright, I'll let you know.
226
00:08:38,841 --> 00:08:41,780
(♪♪♪)
227
00:08:41,970 --> 00:08:44,009
Well, I looked into all your bank accounts,
228
00:08:44,022 --> 00:08:46,023
your credit card statements, your savings,
229
00:08:46,088 --> 00:08:47,374
your retirement portfolios,
230
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:48,730
and this is what I found out.
231
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:49,904
What did you find out?
232
00:08:50,524 --> 00:08:51,414
You're broke.
233
00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:55,097
What do you mean by broke?
234
00:08:55,355 --> 00:08:56,629
You don't have any money.
235
00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,685
Now, when you say I don't have any money...
236
00:09:00,192 --> 00:09:01,617
How much money we talkin'?
237
00:09:01,864 --> 00:09:02,943
None.
238
00:09:05,618 --> 00:09:07,047
I'm sorry. I'm still not getting you.
239
00:09:07,094 --> 00:09:09,111
Your mother and your brother
240
00:09:09,361 --> 00:09:10,755
have been bleeding you dry.
241
00:09:10,789 --> 00:09:12,308
How did they blow all my money?
242
00:09:12,364 --> 00:09:15,307
They spent $857,000 of your money
243
00:09:15,324 --> 00:09:17,298
on one credit card alone.
244
00:09:17,338 --> 00:09:18,068
What?!
245
00:09:18,085 --> 00:09:19,880
If you hadn't maxed out
your credit cards recently,
246
00:09:19,888 --> 00:09:21,550
you might not have ever found out.
247
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:23,886
You're my accountant.
248
00:09:23,928 --> 00:09:25,193
You're supposed to know this shit.
249
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,765
I pay your bills. That's
all you pay me to do!
250
00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:29,704
Here are credit card transactions
251
00:09:29,725 --> 00:09:31,102
for the last eight years.
252
00:09:31,391 --> 00:09:33,502
You're going to find some
of it pretty interesting.
253
00:09:36,297 --> 00:09:37,530
ROB: Oh my God.
254
00:09:37,554 --> 00:09:39,428
$3,000 for Mr. Chow's...
255
00:09:40,284 --> 00:09:41,385
Jesus.
256
00:09:41,691 --> 00:09:42,952
ITunes?
257
00:09:43,265 --> 00:09:44,907
I don't even know how
to get on the internet.
258
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:47,020
Hooker?!
259
00:09:47,451 --> 00:09:49,275
Who buys a hooker with a credit card?
260
00:09:50,071 --> 00:09:52,248
$2,000 for Whole Foods?
261
00:09:52,872 --> 00:09:53,955
No, wait. That was me.
262
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,335
That one was me.
263
00:09:56,157 --> 00:09:59,050
(♪♪♪)
264
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,304
Holy shit, man. That's crazy!
265
00:10:01,888 --> 00:10:02,722
But the good news is
266
00:10:02,741 --> 00:10:04,557
you made a lot of money
these past few years.
267
00:10:05,011 --> 00:10:07,070
The bad news is your family...
268
00:10:07,468 --> 00:10:09,167
I know the bad news, dummy!
269
00:10:09,335 --> 00:10:10,730
My family stole it from me.
270
00:10:11,222 --> 00:10:13,626
- What does Patricia say?
- I haven't told her yet.
271
00:10:14,479 --> 00:10:16,361
The premier of her show is tonight.
272
00:10:16,481 --> 00:10:18,144
She's finally going to
get to see all those dicks
273
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:19,650
on stage at the same time.
274
00:10:20,056 --> 00:10:21,704
I don't want to ruin that for her.
275
00:10:21,977 --> 00:10:23,499
I'll wait 'til after the show...
276
00:10:23,969 --> 00:10:25,468
then ruin the after-party.
277
00:10:25,855 --> 00:10:28,235
This might now be the
best time to bring this up,
278
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,773
but Ryan Gosling's agent called me.
279
00:10:30,893 --> 00:10:33,581
He wants the other $150,000 for his
280
00:10:33,619 --> 00:10:34,998
personal appearance fee...
281
00:10:36,397 --> 00:10:37,440
... in an hour.
282
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,670
Well I'm not going to
be able to pay it, am I?
283
00:10:39,790 --> 00:10:41,922
I just told you my
family stole all my money.
284
00:10:42,555 --> 00:10:43,714
Were you not even listening?
285
00:10:43,752 --> 00:10:46,344
I missed the part in the middle
when this hot girl walked by...
286
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:48,846
But I got the gist of it.
287
00:10:48,888 --> 00:10:51,057
You need to call and see if
you can get my deposit back.
288
00:10:51,098 --> 00:10:52,392
It's non-refundable.
289
00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,015
What the fuck am I going to do?
290
00:10:54,389 --> 00:10:55,775
I promised Patricia
291
00:10:55,783 --> 00:10:57,933
I'd have Ryan Gosling
at her premiere tonight.
292
00:10:59,738 --> 00:11:01,519
I don't know if this is
going to piss you off or not,
293
00:11:01,639 --> 00:11:03,915
but there's a guy outside
who looks exactly like
294
00:11:03,953 --> 00:11:05,744
a homeless Ryan Gosling.
295
00:11:22,255 --> 00:11:27,260
(♪♪♪)
296
00:11:32,223 --> 00:11:37,228
(♪♪♪)
297
00:11:40,773 --> 00:11:43,109
(♪♪♪)
298
00:11:43,229 --> 00:11:45,194
JAMIE: What are we doing
in my apartment again?
299
00:11:45,236 --> 00:11:47,251
We need to get him cleaned
up for the party tonight.
300
00:11:47,294 --> 00:11:49,296
No way, man. This is my home!
301
00:11:49,373 --> 00:11:50,783
This guy fuckin' reeks.
302
00:11:50,824 --> 00:11:52,285
Have some compassion.
303
00:11:52,286 --> 00:11:53,666
He's a human being.
304
00:11:53,908 --> 00:11:56,348
I'm pretty sure he understands
some of the words you're using.
305
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,790
I am not okay with this.
306
00:11:58,020 --> 00:12:00,000
ROB: Come on. Do something nice for once.
307
00:12:00,042 --> 00:12:01,161
You won't even know he's here.
308
00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:02,171
Yes, I will.
309
00:12:02,190 --> 00:12:03,968
This is a studio apartment.
310
00:12:04,005 --> 00:12:05,756
We'll both always be in the same room.
311
00:12:05,798 --> 00:12:07,156
(Faucet running)
312
00:12:08,324 --> 00:12:10,261
Is he washing his balls in my sink?
313
00:12:10,303 --> 00:12:11,762
What the fuck, man!
314
00:12:12,036 --> 00:12:13,821
He's already trying to better himself.
315
00:12:13,845 --> 00:12:15,138
I clean my dishes in there.
316
00:12:15,162 --> 00:12:17,643
Excuse me, could you please
get your balls out of my sink?
317
00:12:17,676 --> 00:12:18,811
Come on!
318
00:12:18,852 --> 00:12:20,573
ROB: He's got to at
least clean both of 'em.
319
00:12:20,779 --> 00:12:22,757
Don't leave him with the one dirty one.
320
00:12:23,562 --> 00:12:25,281
Hey, that's my only dress shirt!
321
00:12:25,295 --> 00:12:27,235
I was going to wear that
tonight to the party.
322
00:12:27,283 --> 00:12:28,326
ROB: I'll get you a shirt.
323
00:12:28,345 --> 00:12:30,239
Come on, man. How is
this even going to work?
324
00:12:30,281 --> 00:12:32,851
All I know is the real Ryan Gosling wants
325
00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:35,582
$150,000 more, of which I don't have...
326
00:12:35,907 --> 00:12:38,316
and this guy's willing to
do it for a pair of socks.
327
00:12:38,436 --> 00:12:39,351
Well, he stinks.
328
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,959
And now my whole place stinks.
329
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,358
I'll tell you what stinks,
330
00:12:42,377 --> 00:12:43,828
your attitude, young man.
331
00:12:45,296 --> 00:12:47,057
Listen to you. You're a pussy.
332
00:12:47,411 --> 00:12:48,680
This is dangerous.
333
00:12:48,709 --> 00:12:51,027
He only has to stay here
until the show tonight!
334
00:12:51,051 --> 00:12:53,959
Fuck you! I put up with your
shit all the time, but this time
335
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,127
this is too much.
336
00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:57,938
This is the one thing that
Patricia's been looking forward to,
337
00:12:58,206 --> 00:12:59,772
and you would take that away from her?
338
00:13:01,543 --> 00:13:02,813
I'm ashamed of you.
339
00:13:06,783 --> 00:13:07,901
What if he rapes me?
340
00:13:07,943 --> 00:13:09,785
He's not going to rape you...
341
00:13:10,547 --> 00:13:12,156
You're not going to rape him, are you?
342
00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:15,597
Okay, he's joking.
343
00:13:15,598 --> 00:13:16,853
Rob, I think he's serious.
344
00:13:16,869 --> 00:13:17,828
He's not going to rape you.
345
00:13:17,870 --> 00:13:19,363
He nodded like he was going to rape me.
346
00:13:19,367 --> 00:13:21,102
He's not. You weren't serious, right?
347
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,035
He's joking again! You
see? That's what they do.
348
00:13:25,044 --> 00:13:26,860
They get severely sunburned,
349
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,108
and then they go through the garbage,
350
00:13:28,112 --> 00:13:29,396
and then they make jokes.
351
00:13:29,798 --> 00:13:30,883
That's their lives.
352
00:13:30,914 --> 00:13:32,135
Oh, that makes me feel better.
353
00:13:32,136 --> 00:13:33,088
Good.
354
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,054
I'm glad we cleared this up.
355
00:13:38,202 --> 00:13:39,299
See you in a bit!
356
00:13:39,892 --> 00:13:42,770
♪
357
00:13:42,811 --> 00:13:45,565
♪♪
358
00:13:45,755 --> 00:13:47,238
Lookin' pretty good, huh?
359
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:48,906
ROB: Neil...
360
00:13:51,281 --> 00:13:52,377
I don't have the money.
361
00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:54,557
But you already paid the deposit.
362
00:13:54,581 --> 00:13:55,892
You won't get that money back.
363
00:13:55,908 --> 00:13:56,867
- I know.
- (Phone vibrating)
364
00:13:56,987 --> 00:13:58,143
That's a lot of money.
365
00:13:58,210 --> 00:13:59,564
Excuse me a sec.
366
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:00,988
Yeah, hello?
367
00:14:01,497 --> 00:14:03,200
- I got you out.
- Out of what?
368
00:14:03,258 --> 00:14:04,206
The sitcom.
369
00:14:04,421 --> 00:14:05,876
I got you out of your contract.
370
00:14:05,918 --> 00:14:08,474
- It's what you wanted, right?
- No! Get me back in.
371
00:14:10,626 --> 00:14:14,576
Are you fucking nuts?!
Do you know how much shit
372
00:14:14,590 --> 00:14:17,888
I had to eat from the network
to get you out of that contract?!
373
00:14:18,056 --> 00:14:19,175
Fuck!!
374
00:14:21,331 --> 00:14:22,935
Besides, they've already replaced you.
375
00:14:22,976 --> 00:14:23,977
Replaced me with who?
376
00:14:24,204 --> 00:14:25,170
Norm MacDonald.
377
00:14:25,358 --> 00:14:26,499
Shit!
378
00:14:32,609 --> 00:14:33,601
I don't have the money.
379
00:14:33,866 --> 00:14:35,322
You've got to tell these guys to stop.
380
00:14:35,364 --> 00:14:37,597
What about the refrigerator equipment,
381
00:14:37,617 --> 00:14:39,415
the freezers, the display racks?
382
00:14:39,535 --> 00:14:41,870
It's all gonna be
delivered here in two hours.
383
00:14:42,642 --> 00:14:45,181
- I don't know yet.
- It's 200 grand worth of equipment.
384
00:14:45,599 --> 00:14:47,377
Where do you want me to
tell 'em to deliver it?
385
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:49,154
I'm not sure.
386
00:14:50,572 --> 00:14:51,736
Let me think about it.
387
00:14:56,275 --> 00:14:56,880
Hey,
388
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,345
what happened with the show?
389
00:14:58,508 --> 00:14:59,999
They replaced me with Norm MacDonald.
390
00:15:00,049 --> 00:15:02,140
Norm will be perfect for that show!
391
00:15:06,228 --> 00:15:09,400
♪
392
00:15:09,622 --> 00:15:12,760
♪♪
393
00:15:13,235 --> 00:15:16,656
♪
394
00:15:16,697 --> 00:15:20,200
♪♪
395
00:15:20,242 --> 00:15:23,621
♪
396
00:15:23,644 --> 00:15:25,539
Are you seriously
thinking about doin' this?
397
00:15:25,581 --> 00:15:26,740
Can you think of any other place
398
00:15:26,763 --> 00:15:28,582
we can store this refrigerator
equipment for free?
399
00:15:28,626 --> 00:15:29,965
This is breaking and entering.
400
00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:32,156
That's two things that are both illegal!
401
00:15:32,171 --> 00:15:33,359
So what?
402
00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:35,561
If you want to be a huge pussy,
403
00:15:35,681 --> 00:15:36,691
you can wait in the car.
404
00:15:37,496 --> 00:15:38,564
Now gimme your hoodie.
405
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:40,805
Give me your hoodie!
406
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:43,932
- Come on!
- Fine.
407
00:15:47,019 --> 00:15:48,005
(Sniff)
408
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,248
Smells like bum urine.
409
00:15:49,271 --> 00:15:51,359
Dude, I don't even notice anymore,
410
00:15:51,479 --> 00:15:53,432
because my whole place
smells like bum urine.
411
00:15:53,432 --> 00:15:56,018
Especially the bum with urine all over him
412
00:15:56,028 --> 00:15:58,383
that you brought over to
my house that's still there.
413
00:15:58,405 --> 00:16:00,705
You and I both know you
don't do shit for me,
414
00:16:00,705 --> 00:16:03,202
yet I still keep paying
you for whatever reason!
415
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:05,930
Well now you're gonna
earn your salary for once.
416
00:16:05,935 --> 00:16:07,539
You're gonna help me break into this store,
417
00:16:07,563 --> 00:16:10,191
I swear to God, or I'll use
this on your fuckin' balls!
418
00:16:11,267 --> 00:16:14,281
What if somebody comes and we get caught?
419
00:16:14,318 --> 00:16:15,949
Nobody ever came to this place.
420
00:16:16,069 --> 00:16:17,841
That's why they all went out of business.
421
00:16:19,397 --> 00:16:20,260
Come on.
422
00:16:20,331 --> 00:16:21,120
Do the zipper. It's...
423
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,003
- Get the fuck away from me!
- Okay, just...
424
00:16:24,021 --> 00:16:27,234
- Just stop with the fuckin...
- The whole point of a hoodie is...
425
00:16:28,474 --> 00:16:30,145
Will you stop? Are you insane?
426
00:16:31,230 --> 00:16:33,440
Calm the fuck down, we're
not even out of the car yet.
427
00:16:33,482 --> 00:16:34,979
We're gonna get caught.
428
00:16:35,234 --> 00:16:36,465
Let's do this.
429
00:16:36,585 --> 00:16:37,695
Shit.
430
00:16:43,705 --> 00:16:45,286
Why do you get to wear the hoodie?
431
00:16:45,406 --> 00:16:47,123
Because you gave it to me.
432
00:16:49,957 --> 00:16:54,127
♪
433
00:16:54,169 --> 00:16:59,258
♪♪
434
00:16:59,299 --> 00:17:04,054
♪
435
00:17:04,096 --> 00:17:08,308
♪♪
436
00:17:12,738 --> 00:17:14,106
Go on. Get in, get in.
437
00:17:14,226 --> 00:17:15,713
Get the fuck in there.
438
00:17:16,191 --> 00:17:19,278
♪
439
00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:22,489
♪♪
440
00:17:24,116 --> 00:17:27,453
♪
441
00:17:27,494 --> 00:17:31,164
♪♪
442
00:17:31,206 --> 00:17:34,668
♪
443
00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:36,169
Who are you right now?
444
00:17:36,211 --> 00:17:38,088
Nobody better fuck with me today.
445
00:17:38,472 --> 00:17:39,548
Nobody.
446
00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:41,550
(Phone vibrating)
447
00:17:41,812 --> 00:17:43,105
Hi baby, how are you?
448
00:17:43,225 --> 00:17:45,661
Hey baby, what's going on? I
haven't heard from you all day.
449
00:17:45,675 --> 00:17:47,347
I've been running around
taking care of stuff.
450
00:17:47,389 --> 00:17:50,047
- What's wrong?
- Nothing! Everything's fine.
451
00:17:50,053 --> 00:17:51,761
I can tell when you're
hiding something from me.
452
00:17:51,789 --> 00:17:52,892
I'm not hiding anything!
453
00:17:52,911 --> 00:17:55,027
If Ryan Gosling can't make
it tonight, just tell me.
454
00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:56,915
No, he'll be there! I swear.
455
00:17:56,967 --> 00:17:59,017
- Okay.
- Don't worry about anything.
456
00:17:59,026 --> 00:18:00,549
You've worked really hard for this.
457
00:18:00,578 --> 00:18:01,852
Just enjoy yourself tonight.
458
00:18:01,885 --> 00:18:03,035
Okay. I love you.
459
00:18:03,064 --> 00:18:04,740
- I love you too.
- Bye.
460
00:18:05,741 --> 00:18:07,488
Can you move that one to the right?
461
00:18:09,870 --> 00:18:11,622
God, I hate when I lie to her.
462
00:18:13,307 --> 00:18:14,416
It's gotta be done...
463
00:18:15,605 --> 00:18:16,585
But I hate it.
464
00:18:17,118 --> 00:18:17,970
Come on.
465
00:18:18,406 --> 00:18:21,214
♪
466
00:18:21,256 --> 00:18:25,135
(Scissors snipping)
467
00:18:25,177 --> 00:18:30,140
♪ ("Drive" -esque synth rock) ♪
468
00:18:30,182 --> 00:18:35,145
♪ ("Drive" -esque synth rock) ♪
469
00:18:35,187 --> 00:18:40,150
♪ ("Drive" -esque synth rock) ♪
470
00:18:40,192 --> 00:18:44,804
♪ ("Drive" -esque synth rock) ♪
471
00:18:45,014 --> 00:18:46,824
You're a fucking genius!
472
00:18:46,866 --> 00:18:48,367
(Giggle)
473
00:18:48,408 --> 00:18:51,177
That's why you've been my
makeup lady for 18 years.
474
00:18:52,208 --> 00:18:53,107
How much do I owe you?
475
00:18:53,227 --> 00:18:54,219
Nothing.
476
00:18:54,246 --> 00:18:55,214
You owe me your life.
477
00:18:56,375 --> 00:18:57,176
Amazing.
478
00:18:57,696 --> 00:18:59,512
He's going crazy again. Make him stop.
479
00:18:59,581 --> 00:19:01,447
- Put the glasses back on.
- I got it.
480
00:19:01,868 --> 00:19:02,608
Good.
481
00:19:02,728 --> 00:19:04,186
How'd you get him to
sit still for this long?
482
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,098
Oh, I found some weed in the drawer.
483
00:19:06,121 --> 00:19:07,105
That was my weed!
484
00:19:07,121 --> 00:19:08,059
Sorry.
485
00:19:09,853 --> 00:19:11,393
Is that a used condom?
486
00:19:13,047 --> 00:19:14,741
Did you guys fuck in my bed?
487
00:19:16,062 --> 00:19:17,483
Is that his jizz in there?
488
00:19:18,580 --> 00:19:20,511
I can't believe you fucked
a homeless guy in my bed!
489
00:19:20,798 --> 00:19:21,806
That's disgusting!
490
00:19:21,829 --> 00:19:24,437
After I cleaned him up, he
looked so much like Ryan Gosling
491
00:19:24,778 --> 00:19:26,303
I had to fuck him!
492
00:19:30,881 --> 00:19:32,207
She had to fuck him.
493
00:19:33,913 --> 00:19:38,876
(Women cheering, loud dance music)
494
00:19:38,918 --> 00:19:43,881
(Women cheering, loud dance music)
495
00:20:44,316 --> 00:20:48,988
(Women cheering)
496
00:20:51,019 --> 00:20:53,644
Okay, okay, okay... Here's the plan.
497
00:20:53,883 --> 00:20:55,363
- We've gotta make this quick.
- Okay.
498
00:20:55,391 --> 00:20:56,914
We've gotta get him in and get him out.
499
00:20:56,953 --> 00:20:58,993
We don't want him
talking to anybody, right?
500
00:20:59,017 --> 00:21:00,468
Especially Patricia.
501
00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:02,930
The only time I want her
to see him is on stage.
502
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,080
- Smart.
- I'm gonna talk to the tech guy.
503
00:21:05,147 --> 00:21:07,556
I'm gonna tell him to keep
the lights down low, alright?
504
00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:09,744
See, women are gonna see "Ryan Gosling"
505
00:21:09,787 --> 00:21:11,384
and they're gonna lose their minds, right?
506
00:21:11,426 --> 00:21:13,313
They're all drunk and... right?
507
00:21:13,345 --> 00:21:14,395
They won't know the difference.
508
00:21:14,433 --> 00:21:15,261
We gotta get him on stage,
509
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,307
do his little dance number,
then get him the fuck out!
510
00:21:17,349 --> 00:21:19,006
- In and out!
- Yeah, yes!
511
00:21:19,185 --> 00:21:20,644
What was the last part again?
512
00:21:21,444 --> 00:21:23,809
Get him onstage, do his
dance, and get the fuck out!
513
00:21:23,862 --> 00:21:25,423
What was the first part again?
514
00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:28,444
Where'd he go?
515
00:21:28,564 --> 00:21:29,528
I dunno.
516
00:21:30,111 --> 00:21:31,321
What do you mean you don't know?
517
00:21:31,363 --> 00:21:32,855
He's not still standing right behind me?
518
00:21:32,913 --> 00:21:34,254
No, he's not standing behind you.
519
00:21:34,283 --> 00:21:36,323
Jesus Christ, where did he go?
520
00:21:36,399 --> 00:21:38,161
Jeez... fuck!
521
00:21:39,038 --> 00:21:40,010
He was right there.
522
00:21:40,062 --> 00:21:41,957
- He was right there.
- You were supposed to keep an eye on him!
523
00:21:41,999 --> 00:21:43,750
My eyes were looking that way.
524
00:21:43,750 --> 00:21:45,535
You know he's fucking crazy! Come on!
525
00:21:45,544 --> 00:21:47,896
- Is it too late to find another guy who looks like...
- Goddamn it!
526
00:21:47,924 --> 00:21:50,094
Go, come on! Go, go, go!
527
00:21:50,636 --> 00:21:51,526
Go!
528
00:21:51,968 --> 00:21:52,968
(Gasp)
529
00:21:55,313 --> 00:21:56,429
No! Get him out!
530
00:21:56,965 --> 00:21:58,018
What the fuck?
531
00:21:58,076 --> 00:21:59,349
Get out of there!
532
00:22:00,868 --> 00:22:02,435
Oh, it's disgusting!
533
00:22:02,477 --> 00:22:04,387
... Got Ryan "Grossling".
534
00:22:04,396 --> 00:22:05,971
- Stop it! Stop it!
- Bad.
535
00:22:06,019 --> 00:22:08,749
Bad homeless Ryan Gosling. Don't eat that.
536
00:22:08,797 --> 00:22:10,152
Bad, bad. No, no, no.
537
00:22:10,157 --> 00:22:12,284
No more. There's food inside.
538
00:22:12,404 --> 00:22:13,864
Let's go inside, inside.
539
00:22:13,906 --> 00:22:16,157
Food! Pussy! Inside.
540
00:22:16,202 --> 00:22:18,400
Yes, food inside! Come on, come on.
541
00:22:20,865 --> 00:22:23,246
(Women cheering, loud dance music)
542
00:22:41,474 --> 00:22:43,393
Okay, listen, you crazy motherfucker.
543
00:22:43,513 --> 00:22:45,104
I need you to do something for me.
544
00:22:45,145 --> 00:22:47,740
I need you to go out there and act normal.
545
00:22:48,027 --> 00:22:49,129
Okay?
546
00:22:49,363 --> 00:22:52,402
(Women cheering, loud dance music)
547
00:22:52,409 --> 00:22:54,602
PATRICIA: Isn't �ter incredible, ladies?
548
00:22:56,211 --> 00:22:57,968
And he's single, too.
549
00:22:59,451 --> 00:23:00,822
Now, coming up,
550
00:23:00,837 --> 00:23:03,002
we have a very special guest.
551
00:23:03,279 --> 00:23:04,883
I want to thank my lovely husband,
552
00:23:04,902 --> 00:23:07,076
because he made it all happen for us.
553
00:23:07,282 --> 00:23:10,692
So please welcome Ryan Gosling!
554
00:23:10,879 --> 00:23:15,801
(Women cheering)
555
00:23:15,842 --> 00:23:17,427
Go, go!
556
00:23:17,469 --> 00:23:21,723
(Women cheering)
557
00:23:21,765 --> 00:23:25,811
(Women cheering)
558
00:23:25,852 --> 00:23:30,440
(Loud synth rock, women cheering)
559
00:24:14,157 --> 00:24:15,367
Is he taking his dick out?
560
00:24:15,776 --> 00:24:18,329
- Yeah!
- Get out there! Stop him!
561
00:24:18,530 --> 00:24:22,481
(Loud synth rock, women cheering)
562
00:24:23,243 --> 00:24:24,536
No!
563
00:24:24,577 --> 00:24:28,415
(Women booing, loud dance music)
564
00:24:29,382 --> 00:24:32,585
(Women booing)
565
00:24:32,627 --> 00:24:36,131
(Disco music, women booing)
566
00:24:36,173 --> 00:24:37,738
Get off!
567
00:24:37,757 --> 00:24:42,179
(Disco music, women booing)
568
00:24:42,221 --> 00:24:46,766
(Disco music, women booing)
569
00:24:47,661 --> 00:24:49,561
What the hell is Jamie doing?
570
00:24:53,317 --> 00:24:54,653
Jamie's, um...
571
00:24:55,453 --> 00:24:56,669
dancing.
572
00:24:58,063 --> 00:24:58,967
You suck!
573
00:24:59,275 --> 00:25:01,698
- Get out!
- (Cheering)
574
00:25:01,708 --> 00:25:03,182
- Get him out.
- Yes, out.
575
00:25:03,201 --> 00:25:05,558
Yes, yes... Jamie, out!
576
00:25:05,577 --> 00:25:07,287
(Disco music, women cheering,
577
00:25:07,288 --> 00:25:08,997
(booing, and screaming)
578
00:25:09,039 --> 00:25:10,832
(Disco music, women cheering,
579
00:25:10,833 --> 00:25:12,625
(booing, and screaming)
580
00:25:12,667 --> 00:25:14,398
(Disco music, women cheering,
581
00:25:14,399 --> 00:25:16,129
(booing, and screaming)
582
00:25:16,171 --> 00:25:17,360
Ryan!!
583
00:25:17,361 --> 00:25:19,003
(Screech)
584
00:25:22,594 --> 00:25:25,931
♪ (Relaxing jazz piano) ♪
585
00:25:25,972 --> 00:25:27,238
- Thanks, pal.
- You got it.
586
00:25:30,185 --> 00:25:31,603
PATRICIA: Thank you so much.
587
00:25:31,644 --> 00:25:34,038
WOMAN: We would not have
missed it for the world.
588
00:25:34,091 --> 00:25:35,936
Those men were amazing.
589
00:25:36,552 --> 00:25:38,851
PATRICIA: Thank you. They're
very talented, I know.
590
00:25:38,902 --> 00:25:40,748
OTHER WOMEN: Thank you. Congratulations!
591
00:25:40,802 --> 00:25:42,472
PATRICIA: They worked so hard.
592
00:25:42,496 --> 00:25:44,992
Hey, congratulations, baby.
593
00:25:45,033 --> 00:25:46,835
- Thank you.
- Cheers.
594
00:25:47,117 --> 00:25:48,475
Cheers.
595
00:25:48,863 --> 00:25:50,631
- You pulled it off!
- Yeah?
596
00:25:50,669 --> 00:25:53,040
Everybody loved the show...
597
00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:54,418
I loved it.
598
00:25:54,768 --> 00:25:55,903
Thank you.
599
00:25:57,627 --> 00:25:59,839
Uh, can I... will you excuse me, ladies?
600
00:25:59,858 --> 00:26:01,674
- Can I talk to you for a second?
- Sure.
601
00:26:09,711 --> 00:26:10,999
How bad is it?
602
00:26:16,516 --> 00:26:17,579
We're broke.
603
00:26:19,109 --> 00:26:20,189
What?
604
00:26:26,136 --> 00:26:28,430
My family's been stealing millions from us.
605
00:26:29,776 --> 00:26:30,920
I knew it.
606
00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:32,745
Why didn't you say anything?
607
00:26:32,865 --> 00:26:35,583
I tried to tell you so many times...
608
00:26:36,833 --> 00:26:38,376
We will be fine.
609
00:26:38,753 --> 00:26:40,380
You still have your TV show.
610
00:26:42,264 --> 00:26:43,467
I quit.
611
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:45,443
I couldn't take the writing.
612
00:26:46,003 --> 00:26:47,282
And I...
613
00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:49,715
We still have cash, right?
614
00:26:50,089 --> 00:26:52,812
I spent it on Ryan Gosling's deposit.
615
00:26:53,344 --> 00:26:55,546
- It was for the show and I didn't want to...
- Hey,
616
00:26:55,666 --> 00:26:57,147
I just want to say thank you
617
00:26:57,189 --> 00:26:58,621
for giving me this opportunity.
618
00:26:58,645 --> 00:27:01,293
Oh, thank you for your amazing talent.
619
00:27:02,694 --> 00:27:04,581
- You're a great artist.
- Thank you.
620
00:27:04,701 --> 00:27:05,859
You should be proud
621
00:27:05,864 --> 00:27:07,405
of what you created here tonight.
622
00:27:07,405 --> 00:27:08,277
Thank you.
623
00:27:08,617 --> 00:27:10,288
But you're still my nanny,
624
00:27:10,408 --> 00:27:12,223
or I'll get you kicked out of the country.
625
00:27:12,453 --> 00:27:14,598
(Laugh) I'm serious.
626
00:27:17,677 --> 00:27:18,710
(Chuckle)
627
00:27:19,711 --> 00:27:21,498
- See you. Bye.
- Bye.
628
00:27:22,714 --> 00:27:23,803
Let's sneak out of here
629
00:27:23,805 --> 00:27:25,675
before they find out our
credit cards don't work.
630
00:27:29,437 --> 00:27:30,371
Easy.
631
00:27:30,984 --> 00:27:32,258
Okay, okay, easy.
632
00:27:32,991 --> 00:27:34,264
You're okay, come on.
633
00:27:34,306 --> 00:27:39,269
♪ (Smooth jazz) ♪
634
00:27:55,987 --> 00:27:57,581
So what's gonna happen next?
635
00:27:58,477 --> 00:28:00,316
We're gonna have to cut
back on a few things.
636
00:28:00,742 --> 00:28:02,042
We can do that.
637
00:28:02,351 --> 00:28:04,348
Instead of going to Whole Foods every day,
638
00:28:04,382 --> 00:28:06,331
we can just shop at Trader Joe's.
639
00:28:06,379 --> 00:28:07,915
Fuck that!
640
00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:12,167
I'll sell both Teslas before
I shop at Trader Joe's.
641
00:28:13,700 --> 00:28:16,506
We may have to stop
drinking water from Norway.
642
00:28:17,152 --> 00:28:18,834
But I love that water.
643
00:28:18,954 --> 00:28:20,024
What am I supposed to do?
644
00:28:20,031 --> 00:28:22,354
Start drinking water from
this side of the planet?
645
00:28:23,132 --> 00:28:24,539
That's disgusting.
646
00:28:25,646 --> 00:28:27,143
What about the doggie?
647
00:28:27,430 --> 00:28:29,442
We can stop giving him that organic,
648
00:28:29,466 --> 00:28:31,411
gluten-free dry food, right?
649
00:28:31,974 --> 00:28:35,099
His shit consistency
is perfect right now...
650
00:28:35,949 --> 00:28:37,632
You don't wanna mess with that.
651
00:28:38,036 --> 00:28:39,246
Yeah, you're right.
652
00:28:39,664 --> 00:28:42,031
Come on, let's pick things that make sense.
653
00:28:43,662 --> 00:28:46,918
What if you start flying business
class instead of first class?
654
00:28:47,129 --> 00:28:48,589
Once in a while.
655
00:28:50,468 --> 00:28:52,689
No... Not doing that.
656
00:28:52,712 --> 00:28:54,365
(Sigh)
657
00:28:54,868 --> 00:28:56,764
What about your hair products?
658
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:00,365
You can stop using that black
truffle shampoo and conditioner.
659
00:29:00,977 --> 00:29:03,186
I think it's just starting to work.
660
00:29:04,602 --> 00:29:06,678
Can't stop that in the middle.
661
00:29:09,138 --> 00:29:10,662
Look, um...
662
00:29:11,767 --> 00:29:13,360
I'm sorry about all this.
663
00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:14,531
It's okay.
664
00:29:15,472 --> 00:29:17,623
I knew one day you would come around.
665
00:29:18,214 --> 00:29:19,620
When you were ready.
666
00:29:21,924 --> 00:29:23,165
I feel like a fool.
667
00:29:23,858 --> 00:29:24,911
Hey,
668
00:29:25,253 --> 00:29:26,570
you're not a fool.
669
00:29:26,774 --> 00:29:28,384
You were being taken advantage of
670
00:29:28,384 --> 00:29:30,916
by people who you were supposed to trust.
671
00:29:32,994 --> 00:29:35,196
Okay, I've gotta show you something.
672
00:29:35,663 --> 00:29:36,884
Give me one sec.
673
00:29:46,299 --> 00:29:48,550
Okay, so...
674
00:29:48,551 --> 00:29:51,042
- So you got me a hat?
- No.
675
00:29:51,162 --> 00:29:52,922
I saved some money
676
00:29:53,185 --> 00:29:55,364
because I knew this day would come.
677
00:29:55,388 --> 00:29:56,412
How much you got in there?
678
00:29:57,681 --> 00:29:59,806
Well, enough to keep us going.
679
00:30:00,062 --> 00:30:01,772
Holy shit!
680
00:30:02,679 --> 00:30:03,930
Oh, thank you...
681
00:30:04,050 --> 00:30:06,956
I knew that paranoia of
yours would pay off one day.
682
00:30:06,968 --> 00:30:09,241
Thank you. (Kiss) Thank you. (Kiss)
683
00:30:09,361 --> 00:30:11,047
(Sigh)
684
00:30:11,701 --> 00:30:14,118
I'm still gonna open
up my health food store.
685
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:16,287
Not with this money, you're not!
686
00:30:19,081 --> 00:30:20,247
We'll be fine.
687
00:30:20,542 --> 00:30:22,282
Thanks for handling this so well.
688
00:30:22,348 --> 00:30:24,713
No, I'm fucking pissed...
689
00:30:24,754 --> 00:30:26,756
I just don't want to wake up Miranda.
690
00:30:27,757 --> 00:30:28,821
Good to have you back.
691
00:30:28,822 --> 00:30:29,884
(Chuckle)
692
00:30:30,352 --> 00:30:32,605
- I have one question.
- What?
693
00:30:32,768 --> 00:30:35,536
Who's that guy you got
to play Ryan Gosling?
694
00:30:35,757 --> 00:30:37,808
He smelled like a garbage dump.
695
00:30:39,435 --> 00:30:41,312
I'm pretty sure that was Ryan Gosling.
696
00:30:41,354 --> 00:30:43,481
(Sniff) No.
697
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,317
Ryan Gos-almost?
698
00:30:46,359 --> 00:30:48,127
(Laugh)
699
00:30:48,361 --> 00:30:50,484
- I love you.
- I love you.
700
00:30:52,158 --> 00:30:56,508
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
701
00:30:56,558 --> 00:31:01,108
Repair and Synchronization by
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