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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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Sheldon Cooper.
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00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:08,007
What?
4
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,052
I finished reading it.
My name's Sheldon Cooper.
5
00:00:10,053 --> 00:00:11,619
What... You finished it?
6
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:13,055
Yes.
7
00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:15,057
Impressive.
8
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,538
Wha-- You should major
in computer science.
9
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No, thanks. I'll stick
to real science.
10
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:32,466
Excuse me, but
you're not Evan.
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True.
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- Where's Evan?
- Elsewhere.
13
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:36,905
So you don't know?
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00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:38,124
True.
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00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,909
Good. You met Joaquin.
16
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:43,564
Proper introductions were not
made. What's he doing here?
17
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:45,653
He's helping me
write an algorithm
18
00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:47,394
so, we can beat
the stock market.
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00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,135
Why?
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00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:52,834
Well, so we can get rich,
buy cool cars and get girls.
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00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:55,097
But mostly the girls.
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00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,230
Isn't the search for knowledge
its own reward?
23
00:00:57,231 --> 00:01:00,798
Yeah, sure, if the
knowledge helps you get girls.
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00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,235
That seems like a lot
of unnecessary effort
25
00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:03,671
just to meet females.
26
00:01:03,672 --> 00:01:05,629
Yeah, we've tried
talking to them.
27
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,240
Actual disaster.
28
00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:08,632
You want to help us?
29
00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:10,156
I don't need to meet girls.
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00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:12,593
In fact, I'd like
to know fewer people, not more.
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00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:15,465
You could use the money
to buy yourself something fun.
32
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:19,295
Ooh, like a particle accelerator
or 100 tanks of liquid nitrogen.
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00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:22,603
I was thinking
of a hot tub, but okay.
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00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,039
I can't get you
to take a shower,
35
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,693
and-and you want a hot tub?
36
00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:27,477
Girls like hot tubs.
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00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:30,045
How much would it cost to build
a particle accelerator?
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Conservatively,
four to ten billion dollars.
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00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:33,614
Then you need to help us.
40
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,268
Well,
I haven't done much coding,
41
00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:36,791
but I am good at everything.
42
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Okay, I'm in charge.
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Scoot.
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♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
46
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♪ I bet I could be your hero
47
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♪ I am a mighty little man
48
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♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
49
00:01:59,858 --> 00:02:01,816
- What are you watching?
- Travis Lemon.
50
00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,644
The crazy church guy?
51
00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:06,168
- He's not crazy.
- Well, his hair is.
52
00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:08,345
Well, I got news for y'all.
53
00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:11,782
Jesus wants you to prosper.
54
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:15,177
He wants you to have nice
things, a life of abundance.
55
00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:16,832
Says so right here in the book.
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00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:21,879
"My God shall supply all your
needs according to His riches
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00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,839
in glory by Jesus Christ."
58
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,667
He's right. It does say that.
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00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,669
When's it's over?
I want to watch MTV.
60
00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:30,497
Reverend Travis has a band.
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00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:32,021
They rock pretty hard.
62
00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:34,979
The same is true for you.
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00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:38,200
Jesus fed 5,000 people
with five loaves of bread,
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00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,202
but somebody had
to give him those loaves.
65
00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,856
And that's what I need from you.
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00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:44,380
Every dollar you donate
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00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:47,340
to the Travis Lemon ministry
will be returned to you tenfold!
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00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:49,690
Tenfold, my sweet patootie.
69
00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:52,693
As ye sow, so shall ye reap.
70
00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:55,131
Daphne, get the address
on the screen?
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00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:58,351
So you get the checkbook out,
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00:02:58,352 --> 00:03:00,483
and you show how much
you love the Lord,
73
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:02,616
and the Lord will love you back.
74
00:03:02,617 --> 00:03:04,313
And when your neighbor asks you,
75
00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:06,576
"Where'd you get that new
Cadillac?" you tell 'em,
76
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:08,796
"On the corner
of Heaven and Saved."
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00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:10,232
What the heck.
78
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,235
All right, Steve-arooni,
let's hit it!
79
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,243
- Hey, Missy.
- Hey. What are you doing?
80
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,333
Just breaking in my new shoes
for school.
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00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:25,900
They're brown.
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00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:27,249
Cool.
83
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,642
Can I watch your TV?
84
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:30,210
Sure.
85
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,909
That squeaking you're hearing
is my new shoes.
86
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:37,955
♪ Getting edgy all the time...
87
00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:39,435
Where's your mom at?
88
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:41,785
She went to my Aunt Sylvia's
for a few days.
89
00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:43,961
Aunt Sylvia has a big lump
on her neck.
90
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:45,180
So you're alone?
91
00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:46,616
Just me and my chickens.
92
00:03:46,617 --> 00:03:48,270
Billy, we have
to throw a party.
93
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:49,619
For the chickens?
94
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,621
No! For us!
Why?
95
00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:53,667
What do you mean "why"?
Your mom's not home.
96
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:56,322
What would we do? Play games?
97
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:57,975
Yeah, drinking games.
98
00:03:57,976 --> 00:04:00,761
Like when you paid me a dollar
to chug a gallon of milk?
99
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:03,111
That was a different game,
and I'm sorry.
100
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:05,635
Boy, did I throw up.
101
00:04:05,636 --> 00:04:07,158
For this party,
I'm thinking beer.
102
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:09,639
We're not old enough
to drink beer.
103
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:10,988
That's why kids'll come.
104
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:12,816
Smart.
105
00:04:12,817 --> 00:04:14,862
Do you think they'll like eggs?
106
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:17,213
I have so many eggs.
107
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,693
What's that
A-sub-one-variable?
108
00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:21,172
It's undefined.
109
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:22,826
It's defined
in the previous subroutine.
110
00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:24,350
My. That is elegant.
111
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,352
We don't use the word "elegant."
112
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,005
Why? What's wrong with it?
113
00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:31,182
Well, last semester,
I invited a girl to my room
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00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:33,794
to look at my elegant coding,
115
00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:36,797
and... she called the police,
so...
116
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:39,234
Understood.
So what happens next?
117
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:42,237
We just buy the stocks
the algorithm suggests.
118
00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:44,979
- With what?
- Our student loan money.
119
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:46,197
How much are you in for?
120
00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:47,982
My mother's
always warned me
121
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:50,028
against the evils of gambling.
122
00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:53,814
Well, it's not gambling,
it-it's math.
123
00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:55,511
Is your mother against math?
124
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:57,426
Well, when you use it to prove
125
00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,036
the Earth wasn't made in seven
days, she gets a little touchy.
126
00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:00,777
It's your call.
127
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:03,738
Particle accelerator,
or no particle accelerator?
128
00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:07,263
Let me fetch my money sock.
129
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:15,531
You keep your money in a sock?
130
00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:17,533
My meemaw keeps her
money in her bra.
131
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:19,667
Does she like hot tubs?
132
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:24,105
So how are you and Dale
getting along?
133
00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:26,237
Well, I rode a bike seven miles
134
00:05:26,238 --> 00:05:28,936
to have coffee with you,
so that should tell you.
135
00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:30,241
Not going well?
136
00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:31,939
It's fine.
137
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,201
It's just, after you've lived
138
00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:35,203
by yourself for a long time,
139
00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:37,379
having a roommate takes
a little getting used to.
140
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,860
I'm sure Dale's doing his best.
141
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:42,253
That's my fear.
142
00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:46,388
Mare, what's this $50
to an "R.T.L.M."?
143
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,216
Reverend Travis Lemon
Ministries.
144
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:49,609
I made a donation.
145
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:51,698
The goofy guy with the hair?
146
00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:53,439
He's not goofy,
147
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,529
and he preaches the gospel
in a way that speaks to me.
148
00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:58,574
Yeah, well, let me speak to you.
149
00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,271
We can't be throwing away
50 bucks.
150
00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:02,317
We are not throwing it away.
151
00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:04,406
We are gonna get
that money back plus some.
152
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,842
Honey, now, come on.
153
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:08,323
You can't possibly
believe that B.S.
154
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:11,979
Maybe. Reverend Travis says
that Jesus wants us to prosper.
155
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,502
Is that why
156
00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:15,243
he huffed and puffed
and blew my house down?
157
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:17,114
- I'm cancelling this check.
- Don't you dare.
158
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:18,942
Mary, this is groceries
for a week.
159
00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:21,902
We will get it back.
We just need to have faith.
160
00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:24,339
Will you talk some sense
into your daughter?
161
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:25,906
If I could talk sense into her,
162
00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,777
she would never
have married you.
163
00:06:27,778 --> 00:06:31,652
She had to marry me
because I got her pregnant. Ha!
164
00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:38,005
He ain't wrong about the money.
165
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:39,486
Thank you!
166
00:06:45,883 --> 00:06:47,971
Well, gentlemen,
we've doubled our income
167
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,669
in a little over eight hours.
168
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,453
I'm gonna need a bigger sock.
169
00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:53,847
The good news is,
our algorithm is working,
170
00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:56,110
and it's getting more efficient
with every trade.
171
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:57,981
Which is why
we have to stay strong.
172
00:06:57,982 --> 00:06:59,940
We can't expect
to be millionaires overnight.
173
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:02,029
It'll take...
174
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:03,596
12 to 14 business days.
175
00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,728
It's actually
gonna happen.
176
00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:07,295
I'm gonna have sex.
177
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:09,471
Where are you going?
178
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:11,518
To take a shower.
179
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,173
Hey, can I talk to you?
180
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:17,958
Yeah. What's up?
181
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:19,307
Actually, in there.
182
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:20,874
You ain't pregnant, are you?
183
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,180
No. How could you say that?!
184
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:24,618
Been known to happen.
185
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,013
Okay.
186
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:32,799
So, Billy's mom's away,
and we're throwing a party.
187
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,453
All right.
188
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,629
Do you think if I took some
of Dad's beer, he'd notice?
189
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,500
Do you think he'd notice?
190
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,197
Okay, dumb question.
191
00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:43,505
Anyways, you're too young.
You shouldn't be drinking.
192
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:45,159
You just asked
if I was pregnant.
193
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,030
Well, don't do either.
194
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:49,990
So you wouldn't buy us a case
of beer if I gave you the money?
195
00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:52,209
Missy, I'm not old
enough to buy beer.
196
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:53,863
That's never stopped you before.
197
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:55,561
And I'm ashamed of myself.
198
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:57,737
I'll tell you what I can do.
199
00:07:57,738 --> 00:08:00,479
I got something for a party
that's better than beer.
200
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,438
What?
201
00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:07,268
Bottle rockets, Roman candles,
M80s, the works.
202
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:10,358
Sure. Thanks.
203
00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:12,186
You're not excited now,
but trust me,
204
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:14,885
you blow up one mailbox,
and you got yourself a party.
205
00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:21,543
Need a hand?
206
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:23,590
Yeah, sure.
207
00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:31,031
Hey, so, when you were my age,
did you go any parties?
208
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,859
Yeah.
209
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:36,558
The good ones I remember,
the great ones... gone.
210
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,125
That is so cool.
211
00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:39,909
I was pretty cool.
212
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,911
You get invited to one?
213
00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:43,696
Kind of.
214
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:44,959
Ooh, tell me.
215
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:48,439
I'm sort of helping
my friend throw it.
216
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,617
First party. That's a big deal.
217
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:52,879
Any advice?
218
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,621
Well, for starters,
219
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,405
music is key.
220
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:58,841
You want it good,
you want it loud,
221
00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,495
but not so loud the cops come.
222
00:09:00,496 --> 00:09:02,802
Although, if they do,
you're a legend.
223
00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:03,977
Damn.
224
00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:05,587
And if you have make-out spots,
225
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,981
you want to keep 'em private,
but not too private.
226
00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:09,635
You know, closets, pantries.
227
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,899
You want to keep - your guests standing.
Makes sense.
228
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:15,075
And, I've heard
229
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:17,992
at some of these parties
there's drinking?
230
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:24,475
Well... yeah, sometimes,
231
00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:26,129
but,
232
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:29,830
fun can be had without... it.
233
00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:33,746
But just in case,
234
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:35,052
would you buy it for us?
235
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:37,619
No.
Why not?
236
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:39,099
Because you're a kid.
237
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,317
You were a kid.
238
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:42,320
- Yeah, but it was different.
- How?
239
00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:46,454
The point is,
I'm a mom now.
240
00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:47,455
A cool mom.
241
00:09:47,456 --> 00:09:48,848
Not that cool.
242
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:50,632
Besides, the only
underage person
243
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:53,027
that I'm gonna buy alcohol for
is the father of my child.
244
00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:55,769
You really aren't cool.
245
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:01,991
Thanks for seeing me.
246
00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,993
Of course,
my door is always open.
247
00:10:03,994 --> 00:10:05,342
Smoke?
248
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:07,214
I'm good. I'll just
breathe in yours.
249
00:10:07,215 --> 00:10:08,651
Suit yourself.
250
00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:15,004
Could we have
a little privacy?
251
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:17,225
I'll just be listening
at the door.
252
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:20,357
She does.
253
00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:21,663
So, what can
we do for you?
254
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:23,143
Well, I was thinking
maybe it was time
255
00:10:23,144 --> 00:10:24,840
for Mary to come back
to the church.
256
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,581
You know, be a part
of your herd again.
257
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:27,843
We say flock.
258
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:30,629
Although, Texas--
herd works.
259
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,240
With all the beef
and whatnot.
260
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:35,677
Well, Mary's always welcome.
261
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:37,592
Great.
262
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,681
Maybe you could use her
back here in the office.
263
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:42,293
Nah, we got things covered.
264
00:10:44,382 --> 00:10:45,556
Do you need
to answer that?
265
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:46,819
No, they'll call back.
266
00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,342
Peg, please.
267
00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:49,910
All right, bossy.
268
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,701
So...
269
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:01,094
what do you think?
270
00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:03,009
Mary said she wants
to come back?
271
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:04,750
Not in so many words.
272
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,012
But I know
if you asked her,
273
00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:07,709
it would just mean
the world to me,
274
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:10,190
to her, to us...
275
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:11,539
To God.
276
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:13,062
I'll pray on it.
277
00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:14,325
Great.
278
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,242
I'll pray on it later.
279
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:21,115
Right. Sure.
280
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:28,862
Fascinating.
281
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:32,865
Why aren't you doing
what I tell you?
282
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:34,649
We rich yet?
283
00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:35,868
Yeah, we better be.
284
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:36,869
Evan went nuts.
285
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:38,305
He got garlic sticks.
286
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:40,263
Did either of you
authorize the algorithm
287
00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:41,657
to make foreign trades?
288
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:43,745
No.
No.
289
00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:45,268
Well, that's what it's doing.
290
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:47,967
We own 7,000 shares
of Chow Fat Enterprises
291
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:49,534
on the Hong Kong exchange.
292
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:51,754
Fascinating.
293
00:11:51,755 --> 00:11:53,103
That's what I said.
294
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,063
It's trading on its own?
295
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,586
It would seem so.
296
00:11:58,587 --> 00:12:00,762
We... need to
stop it, pull the plug.
297
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:02,503
Wait, wait, wait.
298
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:03,504
Are we up or down?
299
00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:04,592
We're up.
300
00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:06,115
Then what's the problem?
301
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,987
The problem is
we've lost control.
302
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,336
This is
Frankenstein's monster.
303
00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:10,772
You say that
like it's a bad thing.
304
00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:12,078
What?
305
00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:13,514
To reanimate life was
306
00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:14,689
an incredible
scientific achievement.
307
00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:15,647
The real bad guys
in the story are
308
00:12:15,648 --> 00:12:16,996
the ignorant villagers.
309
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:19,650
You were on
the monster's side?
310
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,000
Unfairly hounded
for being different?
311
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,001
You betcha.
312
00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:23,393
Guys, guys, guys.
313
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:24,655
Chow Fat stock just split.
314
00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:26,396
We have 14,000 shares.
315
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:29,965
So, we created an algorithm
that's evolving by itself
316
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:31,838
and becoming a new
form of intelligence?
317
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,491
And I, Sheldon Cooper,
318
00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:36,537
wholeheartedly think
it's terrific.
319
00:12:36,538 --> 00:12:38,714
It may be listening.
320
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,501
How do we do this?
321
00:12:44,502 --> 00:12:45,981
We just got to wait
for someone
322
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:47,113
who's old enough to buy beer
323
00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:48,810
but young enough to be cool.
324
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:49,899
Got it.
325
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,814
- Try him.
- Excuse me, sir--
326
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:54,294
Buy your own beer.
327
00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:55,383
Thank you.
328
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:57,994
I think he was onto us.
329
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:01,389
Let me try.
330
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:03,956
- Hey.
- Hey.
331
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:07,133
Would you buy me beer?
I forgot my ID at home.
332
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:08,526
How old are you?
333
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:10,877
thirty.
334
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,009
Twenty-five?
335
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,359
This isn't working.
336
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,927
Maybe the party was
a bad idea.
337
00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:21,103
Hey, mister,
338
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,365
will you buy us some beer?
339
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,064
I'm not old enough.
340
00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:29,155
Those guys thought
I was a grown-up.
341
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:30,591
Billy!
342
00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,071
What?
343
00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:34,334
- Here's your change.
- Thank you.
344
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:37,859
♪ I'm on my way to Italy
345
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,383
♪ From the Gulf of Mexico...
346
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:41,515
You can go now.
347
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:43,431
Thank you.
348
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:49,392
Howdy, neighbor.
349
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:51,873
Pastor Jeff,
how nice to see you.
350
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,353
Am I interrupting
anything?
351
00:13:53,354 --> 00:13:55,660
No, no, come on in.
352
00:13:57,662 --> 00:13:59,359
So, what brings you by?
353
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,014
Well, I've been
thinking,
354
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:03,711
we really miss you
over at the church
355
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:06,453
and maybe you might
consider coming back.
356
00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:08,150
Well...
357
00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:11,762
that's awful kind of you,
but I've joined a new church.
358
00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:13,808
The Methodists got you,
didn't they?
359
00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:15,201
No.
360
00:14:15,202 --> 00:14:16,898
Reverend Travis Lemon.
361
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:19,379
Not the fella
with the hair.
362
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:22,643
Mary, he's
a snake oil salesman,
363
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:23,949
taking people's money
364
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,037
and promising 'em
all kinds of riches.
365
00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:26,648
Well...
366
00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:32,566
Then how do you explain
this check I got from the IRS?
367
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,394
$800.
368
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:35,917
I sent Reverend Travis $50
369
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,614
and that came
the very next day.
370
00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:40,008
Come on.
371
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,924
It had to be in the mail
before you sent your money in.
372
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,360
Did it?
373
00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:47,407
Of course. I'm as patriotic
as the next guy,
374
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:50,453
but our postal service
flat-out sucks.
375
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:51,628
Excuse my French.
376
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:54,283
Well, we disagree.
377
00:14:54,284 --> 00:14:56,590
Reverend Travis says
that the Lord wants me
378
00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:58,853
to be prosperous
and I believe him.
379
00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:01,247
This is nothing
but a coincidence.
380
00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:02,770
You overpaid your taxes,
381
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:05,816
you got a refund,
Jesus has nothing to do with it.
382
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:07,384
You sound like Sheldon.
383
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,649
I believe I know my way out.
384
00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:16,784
♪ Like me care for you?
385
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,612
♪ ♪ ♪ Why do I bother...
386
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:20,092
Help me move this,
will you?
387
00:15:20,093 --> 00:15:21,093
What are you doing?
388
00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:22,485
Making a dance floor.
389
00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:24,531
- I'm a very good dancer.
- Really?
390
00:15:24,532 --> 00:15:26,620
My mom says so. Watch.
391
00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:28,622
♪ I saw the sign
392
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,624
♪ And it opened up my eyes...
393
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:31,973
I'll get it.
394
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:34,106
♪ Life is demanding...
395
00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:36,021
- Sparks' residence.
- Hey, sweetie.
396
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,196
Hey, Mom.
397
00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:38,632
You okay there
all by yourself?
398
00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:40,896
I'm not by myself,
Missy's here.
399
00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:43,158
W-wait, she's not here.
400
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:44,551
Put her on.
401
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:45,769
Okay.
402
00:15:45,770 --> 00:15:47,598
♪ But where do you belong?
403
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:50,035
Hey, Mrs. Sparks.
404
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:51,297
What are y'all up to?
405
00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:52,472
Just hanging out.
406
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:53,777
Cut the crap.
407
00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:54,822
You throwing a party,
ain't you?
408
00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:56,650
What? No.
409
00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:58,652
Relax, I'm all for it.
410
00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,349
I want my son to have a life.
411
00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:02,699
Wait, he's invited right?
412
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:04,658
'Course. We're just
making a dance floor.
413
00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,834
God, Missy,
do not let him dance.
414
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,749
♪ Bring me joy?
415
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,838
♪ Under the pale moon.
416
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:13,972
Lord, I know everyone thinks
I'm being foolish
417
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,712
giving money
to Reverend Travis,
418
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:18,585
but why wouldn't you want us
to be prosperous?
419
00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:20,848
You love us, it makes sense.
420
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:24,460
And I got that IRS check,
which feels like a sign.
421
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:27,160
And I think I know a sign
when I see one.
422
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:33,861
Ew!
423
00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:35,036
What's going on?
424
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:37,038
A bird did its business
in my eye.
425
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:39,171
Better than your mouth, right?
426
00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:40,607
You think you're funny?!
427
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,392
Yeah.
428
00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:44,524
We may have a problem.
429
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:45,873
What's wrong?
430
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:47,048
The program's running
really slow.
431
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,049
We're losing money.
432
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,311
Well, what's happening?
433
00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:50,617
It was fine this morning.
434
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,662
I don't know
if this is related,
435
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,186
but I did add
a new subroutine.
436
00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:55,970
To do what?
437
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:57,580
To resolve
the inconsistencies
438
00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:59,452
between general relativity
and quantum mechanics.
439
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:00,801
Why would you do that?
440
00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:02,542
Because our algorithm's
so smart
441
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,065
and it's the biggest unanswered
question in the universe.
442
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:05,371
But it's messing
with the computer.
443
00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:06,589
We're losing money.
444
00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:08,722
What about my car?
What about girls?
445
00:17:08,723 --> 00:17:11,203
Rest assured,
you solve general relativity,
446
00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:13,404
the girls will be lined up
around the block to kiss you.
447
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:20,256
Someone's having a party
and we weren't invited.
448
00:17:28,612 --> 00:17:30,310
Gosh darn it.
449
00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:36,316
Stupid car.
450
00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:44,932
- Make it stop.
- I'm trying, it doesn't want to.
451
00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:46,412
I think it finds the question
too interesting.
452
00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:48,066
Ooh, but it's messing
with the computer.
453
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,504
- We're losing everything.
- I don't know what else to do.
454
00:17:58,425 --> 00:17:59,990
You could have just
unplugged it.
455
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:01,776
Or at least
opened the window.
456
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,257
I showered for nothing.
457
00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:13,308
You know, honey,
nothing much you can do
458
00:18:13,309 --> 00:18:15,049
about a broken toe.
459
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:17,051
Unless you think
Reverend Travis can fix it.
460
00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:18,705
Maybe I'll stick it
up your butt.
461
00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:20,664
Mary Cooper. Language.
462
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,406
I'm going to bed.
463
00:18:30,674 --> 00:18:32,022
I'm in.
464
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:34,374
My bottom is scorched,
don't look at it.
465
00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:46,124
And as we're passing
the collection plate,
466
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,561
let's give a warm welcome
to the Coopers
467
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,171
who are back in the fold.
468
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:51,868
Our donation room
is looking
469
00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:53,218
a little empty
after the tornado.
470
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:55,220
So please bring in
your canned goods,
471
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:56,439
your used clothing--
472
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:01,531
- Is that beer?
- My--
473
00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:05,143
Anyway, welcome back Coopers.
474
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,842
Please turn to page 37
in your hymnals.
475
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:16,329
Captioning sponsored by
476
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:20,332
and TOYOTA.
477
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:23,379
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
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