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♪ For learning all you oughta
know about the facts of life ♪
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♪ The facts of life ♪
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00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:09,352
♪ When your books are
what you're there about ♪
4
00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:11,053
♪ But looks are
what you care about ♪
5
00:00:11,077 --> 00:00:14,524
♪ The time is right to
learn the facts of life ♪
6
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:18,228
♪ When the world never seems ♪
7
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:21,965
♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪
8
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,699
♪ It's time you
started finding out ♪
9
00:00:23,723 --> 00:00:27,037
♪ What everything is all about ♪
10
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,039
♪ When the boys you
used to hate you date ♪
11
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:32,375
♪ I guess you best
investigate the facts of life ♪
12
00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:33,944
♪ You gotta get 'em right ♪
13
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:36,213
♪ The facts of life ♪
14
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,637
♪
15
00:00:41,408 --> 00:00:43,475
♪ The facts of life ♪
16
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♪ The facts of life ♪
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Perfect. Yes.
18
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:05,274
Blair, how much longer
is this gonna take?
19
00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:07,277
No, no, no, no!
Don't move, Sue Ann.
20
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:09,445
I'm not painting by the numbers.
21
00:01:09,469 --> 00:01:12,582
I'm sorry, Blair, but I've been
standing here for an hour, and am I beat.
22
00:01:12,606 --> 00:01:15,251
Sue Ann, if you
don't stand still,
23
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,509
I'm gonna paint
you flat-chested.
24
00:01:19,379 --> 00:01:21,224
Cute, Blair.
25
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,059
I'll bet if you put
your heads together,
26
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,317
we could get channel 13.
27
00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:31,301
Oh. Oh. Say.
28
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:32,802
All right, Blair.
29
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,437
You've really caught the action.
30
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:35,939
Thanks, Mrs. Garrett.
31
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:37,540
I'm gonna hang
it for Career Day.
32
00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:39,476
I call it The End.
33
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:42,712
And he's sure got a cute one.
34
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,881
Mrs. Garrett.
35
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,415
- Mrs. Garrett.
- Yes, Molly.
36
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,251
Here's Mr. Bradley's
list of the speakers
37
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,753
with the subjects
they'll be talking about.
38
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,120
Can you tune my guitar again?
39
00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:52,455
Oh, sure, honey.
40
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:54,390
Let's see here.
41
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:56,892
♪ ♪ My dog has ♪
42
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♪ Flea... flea... flea... ♪
43
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:01,564
♪ Flee-ee-eas ♪
44
00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:05,368
♪ Here you are, dear.
45
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,937
Thanks. You can do everything.
46
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,372
Naturally.
47
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:12,275
Say, this is quite an
impressive lineup of speakers.
48
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:15,278
A doctor, an
architect... Natalie!
49
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,779
I see your sister's gonna talk
50
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,115
about her exciting
career as a stewardess.
51
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,617
It sure is exciting.
52
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,719
She's got two
first-class boyfriends
53
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,743
and another one in coach.
54
00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:28,291
And, Tootie, your
father's gonna to talk
55
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:31,093
about a career for women in law.
56
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:33,396
Your mother's a
lawyer, too, isn't she?
57
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,965
Yeah. She had to
stay in Washington
58
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,767
to defend some crooks.
59
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,804
In or out of the government?
60
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:43,639
Natalie, will you hurry up?
61
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,809
I got to look good for Daddy.
62
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:48,644
Well, what's the rush?
Career Day isn't until tomorrow.
63
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:52,315
Daddy's coming up early
'cause he's never seen Eastland.
64
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:55,318
He's also never seen
me since I became...
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00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,075
a sex symbol.
66
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:01,091
- Hello, there!
- Hello, Mr. Bradley.
67
00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:02,692
Come on in, Mr. Ramsey.
68
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,760
- Daddy!
- Tootie!
69
00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:07,263
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Come here, girl.
70
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:09,599
Mmm!
71
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:12,602
Ooh, gracious.
72
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,639
Can we try that again
without the goop?
73
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:17,240
But you'll see my wrinkles.
74
00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:18,908
Oh, it's okay.
75
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,910
You're aging beautifully...
76
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,246
for a woman your age.
77
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:25,181
Daddy, meet my friends.
78
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,050
- Cindy.
- Hi.
79
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:28,251
- Molly.
- Hello.
80
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:30,186
Natalie.
81
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,689
And this is Mrs. Garrett,
82
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:35,191
- our housemother.
- My pleasure.
83
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,860
- Oh, how do you do,
Mr. Ramsey?
- Fine.
84
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,530
Mrs. Garrett was teaching
me all the inside tips
85
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,532
for when I go to beauty school.
86
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,867
Beauty school?
87
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,370
We're really anxious to
hear your Career Day talk.
88
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:50,706
It must be exciting being
legal adviser to two presidents.
89
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:54,644
Yeah, you get to meet
new people every four years.
90
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:58,080
If they last that long.
91
00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,416
Girls, this is "Rifle" Ramsey,
92
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,219
All-American quarterback at
Syracuse and Phi Beta Kappa.
93
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,554
All right!
94
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,423
Maybe later we can
talk a little football.
95
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:09,759
I was a pretty fair receiver
myself at Allegheny Teachers.
96
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:12,929
They used to call
me "Crazy Legs."
97
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,264
Yes, I can believe that.
98
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:15,765
Well, "Crazy Legs,"
99
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,434
what I'd really
like to talk about
100
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,769
is how my lovely
daughter is doing in school.
101
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,604
And just maybe I can find out
102
00:04:21,628 --> 00:04:23,039
why you passed
up that opportunity
103
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,374
to take speed-reading.
104
00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:25,963
It went by too fast.
105
00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:30,213
Anyhow, Mrs. Garrett
was teaching me something
106
00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:31,881
really important...
107
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:35,218
How to Juliette my nails.
108
00:04:35,242 --> 00:04:37,220
Oh, that keeps the
nails from breaking.
109
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,189
Every good
manicurist knows that.
110
00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:42,124
That's quite an
accomplishment, I suppose.
111
00:04:42,148 --> 00:04:43,793
All right, girls.
112
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,928
Let's get to work on
those Career Day essays.
113
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:49,766
Daddy, you're gonna be even
prouder of me than you think.
114
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,534
What I'm learning
from Mrs. Garrett
115
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:54,103
will get me into any
beauty school I want.
116
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,507
Hmm. I see Mrs. Garrett
hasn't been neglecting you.
117
00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:01,344
Uh, young lady, I'd like to
talk to you about your goals.
118
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:02,679
In a minute, Daddy.
119
00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:05,615
Right now, my goal is
to look like Diana Ross.
120
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,472
Gotta skate.
121
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,958
She is really something.
122
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,960
Isn't she?
123
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,294
Not yet.
124
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,196
But I'd like her to
become something.
125
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,732
May we discuss her
academic program?
126
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,902
Well, it's been a real pleasure
meeting you, Mr. Ramsey.
127
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,570
I'd better go help her.
128
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:29,105
She's my girl.
129
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,029
Gotta skate.
130
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:40,316
Does, uh, Mrs. Garrett have
much influence on Tootie?
131
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,675
Oh, you bet. Mrs. Garrett says,
"Jump," Tootie says, "How high?"
132
00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:47,479
She doesn't say it very often.
133
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:55,031
Mr. Bradley, we sent
Tootie to Eastland
134
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:58,067
to prepare for college,
not beauty school.
135
00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,302
I know that.
136
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,837
Well, she's not gonna get there
137
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,872
by having your
housekeeper as a role model.
138
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:06,542
Oh, Mrs. Garrett isn't a
housekeeper, she's a housemother.
139
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:08,711
What's the difference?
She's a domestic.
140
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,880
And I know all about domestics.
141
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:13,382
My mother worked as a
chambermaid in a hotel
142
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:14,984
to help put me through college.
143
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,986
Well, fortunately, today
Tootie's opportunities
144
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,222
are unlimited.
145
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:20,723
Well, let's keep
them that way, hmm?
146
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:22,926
- I hear what you're saying.
- No, you don't.
147
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:25,327
What I'm saying is,
Mrs. Garrett's taking
148
00:06:25,351 --> 00:06:27,429
Tootie's mind off
worthwhile goals
149
00:06:27,453 --> 00:06:29,832
so all she cares about
are superficial ones.
150
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:32,802
I want it stopped.
151
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:35,938
So I would appreciate it if
you would tell Mrs. Garrett
152
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,802
to stay away from my daughter.
153
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:45,548
There you are,
dearie. All finished.
154
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,884
Blair, do you think it's me?
155
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,218
Settle for it, Sue Ann.
156
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,643
She's a beautician,
not The Miracle Worker.
157
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,591
Okay, girls.
158
00:06:55,615 --> 00:06:57,593
One cupcake to a customer,
159
00:06:57,617 --> 00:07:00,463
and you can help
yourself to cocoa.
160
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,132
Have you all
finished your essays?
161
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:06,302
I'm going to be a
psychiatrist in Hollywood.
162
00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:09,873
Dr. Nancy Olson,
shrink to the stars.
163
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:12,408
Smart. That's a great way
to get a man on a couch.
164
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,609
Sue Ann.
165
00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:16,613
Well, I have my
future all mapped out.
166
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:20,316
After my one-woman exhibit
at the Museum of Modern Art
167
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:23,285
and my Oscar-winning
performance as an actress,
168
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:24,787
I guess I'll just settle down
169
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:28,190
and marry the president
of General Motors.
170
00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:31,193
- That'll never happen, Blair.
- And why not?
171
00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:34,564
'Cause I'm gonna be the
president of General Motors.
172
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,169
She got you on that one, Blair.
173
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:42,838
Well, I'm headed for a
career as a marine biologist.
174
00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:44,507
I've always been
interested in fish.
175
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,509
And surfers, Sue Ann?
176
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:49,746
"With muscular, suntanned bodies
177
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:53,115
and golden-blond hair."
178
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,484
Tootie, you've been
reading my diary again.
179
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,820
Well, I told you
to keep it locked.
180
00:07:57,844 --> 00:07:59,377
I'm weak.
181
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,391
Come in.
182
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,927
- Mrs. Garrett?
- Mr. Bradley, come in.
183
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,429
Come in.
184
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:09,298
Troops are all here, huh?
Ready for Career Day, girls?
185
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,633
- Yeah, I think so.
- Uh-huh.
186
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,135
Yes. I've decided I'm gonna be
187
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,970
the Joan Baez of the '80s.
188
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,139
Listen.
189
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:19,809
♪ The skies are junky
The lakes are chunky ♪
190
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:23,980
♪ The oceans are gunky
I feel like a lab monkey ♪
191
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,817
♪ Stop grossing up
America You turkeys ♪
192
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:34,924
Wonderful, Molly.
193
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,826
Tootie, have you decided
what you want to be
194
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,994
when you graduate from
Eastland and go to college?
195
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,330
Oh, I'm not going to
college, Mr. Bradley.
196
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,832
- Right, Nat?
- Right.
197
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,333
- You're not?
- No.
198
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,669
We're both gonna
study with Vidal Sassoon
199
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,594
to learn "Advanced Sassooning."
200
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,842
It's all in my essay.
201
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:56,679
We're gonna open up a
beauty salon and call it...
202
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,048
"Toot 'n' Nat's."
203
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:03,252
Or we might call
it "Nat 'n' Toot's."
204
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:04,920
Uh, listen, girls.
205
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,104
I've got to discuss next
week's menu with Mrs. Garrett.
206
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,460
Oh, and, Mr. Bradley,
207
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,896
if you plan to put some
kind of chemical in our food
208
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,155
to make us lose interest
in boys, well, it won't work.
209
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:22,571
Next week's menu, huh?
210
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:25,074
All right, Mr. Bradley.
211
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:29,445
Tell me, what's on your mind?
212
00:09:29,469 --> 00:09:32,648
Well, this isn't
easy, ahem, Edna.
213
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,985
Mr. Ramsey is very
upset with the way that, uh,
214
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,887
Tootie's interests
are developing,
215
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:41,491
and he blames someone she
spends a lot of her time with.
216
00:09:41,515 --> 00:09:44,560
And, uh, he doesn't
want her to associate
217
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,129
with that person anymore.
218
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,964
Really?
219
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:50,900
- Not Natalie?
- No.
220
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,291
Well, who is it?
221
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,105
Edna,
222
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:59,509
you're doing a wonderful
job around here.
223
00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:04,013
- Molly?
- No one has your
delicate touch with cocoa.
224
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:08,750
- Not Cindy?
- There's none of that yucky
stuff floating at the top.
225
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:12,588
Well, it couldn't be
Blair, Sue Ann or Nancy.
226
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,690
Ordinarily, I never drink cocoa.
227
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,826
There's no one left.
228
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,016
Yes, there is.
229
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,221
Unless it's me.
230
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:33,042
Good morning, Mrs. Garrett!
231
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,010
Good morning, Tootie.
232
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,346
Daddy's picking
me up for breakfast.
233
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,615
- Is he here yet?
- I haven't seen him.
234
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,383
Good. That means
there'll be time
235
00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:43,686
for you to teach me how
to pluck my eyebrows.
236
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:45,588
Not today, dear.
237
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:49,748
But if I do it myself, I'm
gonna look like Mr. Spock.
238
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:54,930
No, I'm sorry.
239
00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:58,568
I always thought you got a kick
out of showing me how to do things.
240
00:10:58,592 --> 00:11:01,704
Oh, I do, dear. Believe me.
241
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:04,207
But I... I just can't.
242
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:05,630
Sorry.
243
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:10,046
Then how do I learn
how to do my eyebrows?
244
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,103
By plucking a chicken?
245
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:16,318
Sheesh.
246
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,055
Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh.
247
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:21,557
- Hi, Tootie.
- Hello.
248
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,226
What's bothering Tootie?
249
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:26,729
- Someone put glue
in her wheels?
- Guess so.
250
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:28,430
Oh, Blair, aren't you
gonna tell Mrs. Garrett
251
00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:30,666
- about your new painting?
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
252
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:34,970
I'm going to paint a male
model who will be totally naked.
253
00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:37,039
Oh, that's nice, dear.
254
00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:38,541
No, no, no.
255
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:41,109
You see, you were supposed
to say, "In the nude?"
256
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:44,347
- And then I say,
"Yeah, it's a horse."
- It cracked me up!
257
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,248
Oh, I'm sorry, girls.
258
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,183
It's really very funny.
259
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:51,576
A horse. I get it!
260
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,795
What's wrong, Mrs. Garrett?
261
00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:03,179
It has something to do
with Tootie, doesn't it?
262
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:06,568
I can't lie.
263
00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:10,439
Mr. Ramsey doesn't want me to
spend any more time with Tootie.
264
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,975
- Oh, no.
- You're kidding.
265
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:16,745
He thinks I'm a bad
influence on her.
266
00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:19,848
- Oh, I can't
believe that.
- That's ridiculous.
267
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:21,950
You're right.
268
00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:23,919
That is ridiculous, isn't it?
269
00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:27,556
- Yes!
- Oh, what am I moping around for?
270
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,592
I'm gonna give
old "Rifle" Ramsey
271
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,695
a couple of shots of
Garrett gunpowder.
272
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,867
Huh? - Behind you.
273
00:12:38,891 --> 00:12:40,325
Over there.
274
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:48,644
Mr. Ramsey.
275
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:52,048
You didn't happen to hear
what I just said, did you?
276
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:57,341
- I'm afraid I did.
- Well... Good.
277
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,757
- Girls.
- Oh, right. Come on, Blair.
278
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,560
Mr. Ramsey.
279
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:07,196
I think it's time
we cleared the air.
280
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:10,733
What's this about your not wanting
me to spend time with Tootie?
281
00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,969
I did say that,
yes, Mrs. Garrett.
282
00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:16,205
And I want to apologize.
You're not the problem here.
283
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:19,008
Well, I'm glad you realize that.
284
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:21,511
You're just the symptom.
285
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:25,080
Since yesterday, I've made some
pretty thorough evaluations of Eastland
286
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:27,917
and what it has to offer Tootie.
287
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,819
Then I had the pleasure
of reading her career essay
288
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:35,090
entitled, "My Future
In Fingernails."
289
00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:37,426
- But that essay is...
- Now, please, Mrs. Garrett.
290
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:39,828
I've made up my mind.
291
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:41,496
After my Career Day talk,
292
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,322
I'm taking Tootie
out of Eastland.
293
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,028
Nancy, stop helping me.
294
00:14:13,052 --> 00:14:15,230
Are you trying to
rush me out of here?
295
00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:16,799
Oh, sorry, Tootie.
296
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,167
I'm just a neatness freak.
297
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,236
When I'm sad, I
straighten things.
298
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,994
If it'll help you, you
can make my bed.
299
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,077
Tootie, is it true?
300
00:14:29,101 --> 00:14:30,779
Your dad's pulling
you out of school?
301
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:33,449
Yeah, in a couple
of hours, it'll be
302
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:36,106
Toot, Toot, Tootie, good-bye.
303
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,855
How can your dad take
you out of Eastland?
304
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,692
This dump is a great school!
305
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:44,327
Daddy says he's concerned
306
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,995
I'm not reaching
my potential here.
307
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:49,698
It's so much simpler when
your parents are divorced.
308
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,467
They just send the
money and smile a lot.
309
00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:55,771
Daddy says I'm not
pushing hard enough.
310
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,273
I'm not motivated.
311
00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,609
He says, "Tootie,
you've got the potential
312
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,511
to be a young
Margaret Thatcher."
313
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:05,681
- Who's Margaret Thatcher?
- That's what I asked.
314
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:08,517
Huh! Big mistake.
315
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:12,220
Everyone knows who
Margaret Thatcher is.
316
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:15,164
She's one of the 10
worst-dressed women in the world.
317
00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:18,360
She's the prime
minister of England.
318
00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:20,897
Oh, that, too. Hmm!
319
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:23,632
Tootie, what school is
your dad gonna put you in?
320
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,400
Some school in Washington
321
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:28,270
where the kids of
foreign diplomats go.
322
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:30,639
I bet my class
picture's gonna look like
323
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,530
a UNICEF poster.
324
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:39,882
Well, I guess this means the end
of "Nat 'n' Toot's Beauty Shop," huh?
325
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:43,019
No way! We're still gonna
have our beauty shop.
326
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:48,212
It's just that Daddy wants me to become
president of the United States first.
327
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:56,920
Tootie, I want you to have
this to remember me by.
328
00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,235
Oh, Nat!
329
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:04,840
The wig your mom
gave us to practice on.
330
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,909
Gee, what a friend.
331
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:10,512
You know, I always wanted
to know what it was like
332
00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:15,117
to be a blonde.
333
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:19,221
You look just like
Suzanne Somers.
334
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:22,313
Yeah, another blonde
with black roots.
335
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:28,586
I'll only wear it on
special occasions.
336
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:33,936
All right. Come on now, girls.
337
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,971
It's almost time for
Career Day talks.
338
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,739
Mrs. Garrett,
you're a good talker.
339
00:16:37,763 --> 00:16:39,908
Can't you convince
Tootie's father to let her stay?
340
00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:42,811
Oh, at this point, I'm the
last person he'd listen to.
341
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:45,414
Nancy, where you been?
342
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,483
Don't you know that Tootie's
father doesn't like this school
343
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,842
because Mrs. Garrett's the
reason why Tootie's such a dummy?
344
00:16:52,878 --> 00:16:56,559
Whoever thought my own
daddy could be so mean?
345
00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:59,561
Oh, no, Tootie. That's not true.
346
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:01,896
Try and understand your father.
347
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,700
My goodness, he's worked awfully
hard to get you where you are.
348
00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:08,003
Then why is he taking
me out of Eastland
349
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,027
when he knows I love it here?
350
00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:15,778
Mrs. Garrett, I'm
really gonna miss you.
351
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:19,437
Oh, sweetie, I'm
gonna miss you, too.
352
00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,951
Oh! Just listen to us.
353
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:24,853
Just listen to us!
354
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,356
Are we gonna give
Tootie up without a fight?
355
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,358
You're right.
356
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,460
Hey, I got an idea!
357
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:33,295
We'll chain Tootie
to the front gate,
358
00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:35,664
just like Jon Voight
in Coming Home.
359
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,499
I got it. I got it.
360
00:17:37,523 --> 00:17:41,804
First, we'll go downstairs and
convince Tootie's father to let her stay
361
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:45,174
by using something
he respects... our brains.
362
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:48,999
Brains? We are in trouble.
363
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:53,381
Not that you girls aren't smart,
364
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,116
but Daddy's the best.
365
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:58,520
I mean, he's argued cases in
all the highest courts of the land,
366
00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:02,724
even in front of the Supremes.
367
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:06,428
And law firms all over the
country are opening their doors
368
00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:10,766
to female lawyers who have made
top grades at the top law schools,
369
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:13,301
but they only have
room for those of you
370
00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:16,171
who are willing to
apply yourselves.
371
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:20,509
Remember my analogy: a
law career is like an old jalopy.
372
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,010
If you really want it to work,
373
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:24,713
you've got to get
behind it and push!
374
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,236
Thank you very much.
375
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,353
Wonderful. Wonderful,
Mr. Ramsey. Now...
376
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:32,855
Now we'll open the
floor to questions.
377
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,223
And, girls, nothing personal
378
00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:37,114
like what you asked
Natalie's sister.
379
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,198
- Blair.
- Mr. Ramsey,
380
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:45,634
isn't it illegal to yank a child
out of school against her will?
381
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:48,570
Not to my knowledge.
382
00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:49,905
Young lady?
383
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:51,239
If she loves that school,
384
00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:52,974
isn't it alienation
of affection?
385
00:18:52,998 --> 00:18:55,177
Now, hold it, girls. I know
what you're driving at.
386
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:58,547
But this is not the time or the
place to discuss Tootie's situation.
387
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:01,450
But, Mr. Bradley, we
have to discuss it now!
388
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:04,987
Yeah, Mr. Bradley. In
10 minutes, I'm gone!
389
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:08,357
So, how about it, Daddy?
Can we get on my case?
390
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,492
Sure. I can handle a forum.
391
00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:11,994
Fire away.
392
00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:14,463
Can I talk? I've
got plenty to say.
393
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,965
No, Natalie.
394
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:17,733
Now, I know you're
gonna tell Mr. Ramsey
395
00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:20,369
what a wonderful and
loyal friend Tootle is,
396
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,270
but we've got to
stick to the facts.
397
00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:25,340
Right, we can't
stoop to emotions,
398
00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:28,377
like how much we love her.
399
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:30,980
And how generous she
is with her care packages.
400
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:33,516
And how she makes us laugh.
401
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:37,352
I won't say any of those things.
402
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:40,890
- Molly?
- Mr. Ramsey, I'd like
to present exhibit A,
403
00:19:40,914 --> 00:19:43,425
which is Tootie's grades that I
got from Mrs. Packer's front office,
404
00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:47,251
who is always truthful, even though
her dentures do wobble when she talks.
405
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,032
"A, A, B, A.
406
00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:52,734
Cooperative, enthusiastic,
talks too much"...
407
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,436
Uh-oh.
408
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:57,239
But that's in gym,
so it doesn't count.
409
00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:02,111
Well, thank you very
much, Molly. I, uh...
410
00:20:02,135 --> 00:20:04,113
I know that Tootie's
grades are very good
411
00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:07,416
and I also know that
she talks quite a bit.
412
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,119
Mr. Ramsey, Eastland's
a terrific place to learn.
413
00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:11,921
You won't find a
tougher school anywhere.
414
00:20:11,945 --> 00:20:15,757
Yeah, if one existed, my
mom would've found it.
415
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:19,461
Look, girls, I truly appreciate
how you feel about Tootie,
416
00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:23,499
but I still don't think that Eastland
offers the challenge that she needs.
417
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:24,833
Hold it, Mr. Ramsey.
418
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:26,668
I think I've got to
call you on that.
419
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:28,436
Uh-oh.
420
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:29,972
Now, up until now,
421
00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:31,806
I've been rather intimidated
by what you've accomplished.
422
00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,908
Well, we've accomplished
a lot here at Eastland, too.
423
00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:36,133
This is not a school
for rich, spoiled girls.
424
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,604
Why is everybody looking at me?
425
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:45,554
I think Eastland offers exactly the
kind of challenge that Tootie needs.
426
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,656
Our teachers are ranked
highest in the state.
427
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,892
We've got a 90%
college placement.
428
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:52,127
Our graduates represent a
wide variety of professions
429
00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:53,595
throughout the whole country.
430
00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:55,396
- Right!
- Yeah!
431
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:59,000
Mr. Bradley, I truly appreciate
what you've said, too,
432
00:20:59,024 --> 00:21:01,236
but I must stand by my decision.
433
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:04,139
Tootie, are you all packed?
434
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:06,775
Guess we didn't convince
the jury, huh, Mrs. Garrett?
435
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:09,511
You did just fine, Blair.
436
00:21:09,535 --> 00:21:12,581
Mr. Ramsey, before you leave,
437
00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:17,218
may I see you and Tootie
for a moment in my chambers?
438
00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:18,754
Of course, Mrs. Garrett.
439
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,823
If I'm not out in five minutes,
440
00:21:21,847 --> 00:21:25,494
raffle off my skates.
441
00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:29,898
Mr. Ramsey, I'm sure you
know a lot about education,
442
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:35,304
but are you sure you know so very
much about what young girls think?
443
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:39,208
When I was Tootie's age, I
wanted to be, oh, so many things...
444
00:21:39,232 --> 00:21:42,711
A ballerina, a
scientist, a jockey.
445
00:21:42,735 --> 00:21:45,980
Fortunately for the
horse, I changed my mind.
446
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:50,552
But changing your
mind is par for the course
447
00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:52,688
when you're 12 years old.
448
00:21:52,712 --> 00:21:54,255
Yes, Mrs. Garrett.
449
00:21:54,279 --> 00:21:57,615
- I understand
what you are saying.
- Please, I'm on a roll.
450
00:21:59,585 --> 00:22:03,932
Mr. Ramsey, fess up.
451
00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:07,603
Didn't you have a dream or
two when you were 12 years old?
452
00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:11,006
- Hmm?
- No, I wasn't dreaming.
453
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:14,276
I was preparing for a
serious and meaningful future.
454
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:17,379
Uh, Daddy, aren't
you forgetting about
455
00:22:17,403 --> 00:22:19,848
"Buffalo" Ramsey?
456
00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:22,150
"Buffalo" Ramsey?
457
00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:27,389
Oh, yeah. Grandma's got
photo albums full of ol' "Buffalo"
458
00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:30,759
with boots on,
twirling his rope.
459
00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:33,195
She says Daddy
used to roll in the dust
460
00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:35,897
just to look like a real cowboy.
461
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:39,634
Mr. Ramsey, if you
leave her here with us,
462
00:22:39,658 --> 00:22:43,293
I can promise you she'll end
up with a career she loves.
463
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:48,543
Let us help her with
her first few steps.
464
00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:50,879
Please?
465
00:22:50,903 --> 00:22:53,015
Let her stay.
466
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:56,285
Well, I must admit
I'm weakening.
467
00:22:56,309 --> 00:22:59,021
And everybody loves
you so much here.
468
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:02,157
Oh, yeah, I'm a lot of fun...
469
00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:05,727
When I'm not being
serious and meaningful.
470
00:23:05,751 --> 00:23:08,230
- Nancy!
- Oh, okay.
471
00:23:08,254 --> 00:23:12,267
Nancy, they are having
a private conversation!
472
00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:16,004
- You can't
eavesdrop like that.
- Of course not.
473
00:23:16,028 --> 00:23:18,729
This is the way to eavesdrop.
474
00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:26,715
- Hi. - Guess what. I'm staying!
475
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:44,099
♪ When the boys you
used to hate you date ♪
476
00:23:44,123 --> 00:23:45,868
♪ I guess you best investigate ♪
477
00:23:45,892 --> 00:23:49,137
♪ The facts of life
The facts of life ♪
478
00:23:49,161 --> 00:23:51,039
♪ If you hear 'em
from your brother ♪
479
00:23:51,063 --> 00:23:52,674
♪ Better clear 'em
with your mother ♪
480
00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:55,644
♪ Gotta get 'em
right The facts of life ♪
481
00:23:55,668 --> 00:23:59,681
♪ When the world never seems ♪
482
00:23:59,705 --> 00:24:03,518
♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪
483
00:24:03,542 --> 00:24:05,420
♪ It's time you
started finding out ♪
484
00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:07,356
♪ The facts of
life are all about ♪
485
00:24:07,380 --> 00:24:11,048
♪ You ♪
34129
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