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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Jim, I have brought your children
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00:00:02,098 --> 00:00:03,641
back home safe and sound.
3
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Excellent. I hope everybody's hungry.
4
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I have a homemade lasagna,
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straight from the Stop
& Shop freezer section.
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Dad, I know I've been away all day,
7
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but can I go to Cody's?
8
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There's a "Fortnite" tourney.
9
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Plus, Cody's mom makes
food that was never frozen.
10
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Sure. Have fun.
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Dad, I know that you went
through a lot of trouble
12
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to make the money that
bought that lasagna,
13
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but Katie invited me for a sleepover.
14
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It was great spending
a quality 35 seconds
15
00:00:31,085 --> 00:00:32,837
with both of you today.
16
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Dad, I hope you're hungry.
17
00:00:34,255 --> 00:00:36,424
Thanks, Jim, but I got
a date with Rose tonight.
18
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We're gonna Netflix and chill.
19
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You know that means have sex?
20
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I do.
21
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I was trying to be discreet.
22
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Well, there's no need
for this to go to waste.
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00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,159
If you wanna take some to Rose, you can.
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Yes! Rose can't call me cheap anymore.
25
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Can you spare a bottle of wine?
26
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Sure. Take one of those.
27
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Thanks.
28
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I should probably grab one for Rose too.
29
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Always thinking of others.
30
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So, uh, you and Rose
are getting serious?
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As of last night, we've made
love six and a half times.
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That really amazes
me to hear a fraction.
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Too bad you don't have a date
lined up for tonight, Jim.
34
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:22,499
You know, it's never been easier.
35
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I'm on seven different dating apps now.
36
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Does Rose know that?
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She's on nine.
38
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At our age, you gotta have a deep bench.
39
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Well, those dating apps.
40
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I-I like meeting women out in the wild.
41
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You know, everybody on dating
apps is looking for a date.
42
00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:40,100
I wanna meet someone who's
not looking for a date,
43
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,227
but who finds one anyway.
44
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I'm not just saying this
because I'm your father.
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Somebody out there would
be lucky to settle for you.
46
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Kids, let's go!
47
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Enjoy your sleepovers, everyone.
48
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Oh.
49
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You know I will.
50
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:03,123
Tonight, we're gonna try to
go from six and a half to seven.
51
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,541
You wanna know how?
52
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I desperately, desperately do not.
53
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- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
54
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Chilly in here, huh?
55
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Oh, I know.
56
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I just saw a family of four
hugging a rotisserie chicken
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to stay warm.
58
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I like those prAna pants.
59
00:03:00,288 --> 00:03:01,831
Do you do yoga?
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I do not do yoga.
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00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,729
And I had no idea they were yoga pants.
62
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I got them from Julia, and I wear them
63
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because they are
deliciously buttery soft.
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00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,069
Look, I don't want to lie to this woman,
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but on the other hand,
I feel like, you know,
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I might have a little
nibble on the line here,
67
00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,137
and I don't wanna scare off the fish...
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which I realize is an outdated metaphor,
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00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,662
reducing a human being to something
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that can be, essentially,
hunted with a worm.
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But since I've already used it,
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I got a live one.
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Uh...
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Do I do yoga?
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Seems like everyone's doing yoga now.
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Not a lie. I repeated a question
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and stated a fact.
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It's nice to run into a yogi
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in the barren wasteland of frozen food.
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I keep telling myself I
should remain in produce,
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but oh, these chicken pot pies.
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Oh, you have... cheers.
83
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,492
You ever go to the
Blissful Elephant studio?
84
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,995
No, but, uh, I've
definitely heard about it.
85
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,257
Also not a lie.
86
00:04:06,268 --> 00:04:08,478
She just said it, and I just heard it.
87
00:04:08,783 --> 00:04:09,909
Where do you practice?
88
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,672
Giggling Goat. Yoga Hut.
89
00:04:11,749 --> 00:04:13,834
I know... you're a Dancing Shiva dude.
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That... that is a great guess.
91
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I assume.
92
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What's your favorite class over there?
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Ah, I really can't say.
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00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,449
And I really couldn't say
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00:04:26,460 --> 00:04:29,463
because I had no idea
what I was talking about.
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Who's your favorite teacher?
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Mm, names.
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Oh, God, I'm so bad with names.
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Um...
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names are... are just
clothing for the soul.
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That's deep. You sound like a true yogi.
102
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Thank you.
103
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,832
Uh, my Western name is Jim.
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But my soul will answer to anything
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delivered with kindness.
106
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Oh.
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00:05:00,984 --> 00:05:02,110
Kristen.
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00:05:02,121 --> 00:05:03,497
Oh.
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00:05:03,899 --> 00:05:05,276
It was nice to...
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00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,849
If you ever wanna try Blissful Elephant,
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00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,559
I'm there Sundays at 9:00 a.m.
112
00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:12,521
Oh, all right. 9:00 a.m. Sunday.
113
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You know, I'm... I'll
start stretching now.
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Great. I-I...
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I don't wanna sound too woo-woo,
116
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but this class has really changed
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my conversation with the world.
118
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You know, that is not woo-woo.
119
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That's... that's wahoo.
120
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,975
You know, me and the world,
we can talk all night.
121
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You know, yap, yap,
yap. No, you go, world.
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No, you go, Jim.
123
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You're hysterical, Jim. No you, world!
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Ha ha!
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I-I really hope I see you
at the Elephant on Sunday.
126
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Maybe I'll bring my friend, the world.
127
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,760
Okay.
128
00:05:45,269 --> 00:05:46,463
Kearney got a bite.
129
00:05:53,025 --> 00:05:55,152
Should I call 911?
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00:05:55,152 --> 00:05:58,030
Yeah, and tell them you
entered without knocking.
131
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Sorry, I left my license on the dresser.
132
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Are you doing yoga?
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I am.
134
00:06:02,717 --> 00:06:04,510
Turns out I have a gift
for the stretchy art.
135
00:06:04,870 --> 00:06:06,831
- What's her name?
- Kristen.
136
00:06:06,831 --> 00:06:08,582
We were flirting at NutriNook.
137
00:06:08,582 --> 00:06:10,710
So I'm gonna meet her for yoga on Sunday
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at the Blissful Elephant at 9:00 a.m.
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Unreal.
140
00:06:14,171 --> 00:06:16,382
For years, I tried
to get you to do yoga,
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and you chose watching baseball,
142
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golf, and napping every time.
143
00:06:20,428 --> 00:06:23,472
The couch is an
ever-beckoning mistress.
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And the TV is her trampy best friend.
145
00:06:26,308 --> 00:06:28,769
And I don't recall you
ever asking me to do yoga.
146
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Oh.
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I have proof.
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Proof? Were you wearing a wire?
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Ha!
150
00:06:37,152 --> 00:06:38,587
Remember this book?
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00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:41,309
"Hold Me Close: A Marital
Guide to Reignite Passion"?
152
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Definitely not.
153
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The book encouraged us to
make a list of some things
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you wish your spouse would do to restore
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the bonds of your marriage.
156
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Wait, you actually did that?
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Yes!
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Uh...
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00:06:54,545 --> 00:06:56,047
okay, here it is.
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Number 26: "I wish
Jim did yoga with me."
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So you're saying that if
I had done yoga back then,
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I'd be prepared for this date?
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00:07:08,392 --> 00:07:09,560
Kristen's gonna know that
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I've never done yoga before, isn't she?
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I'm sure she's not expecting you
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to be some great yogi.
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Well, she may have gotten the impression
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that I was a yogi.
169
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How?
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From me giving her the
impression I was a yogi.
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I got excited 'cause it
seemed like she was liking me,
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and I just wanted things to
keep going in the direction
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of her liking me because
that's not a bad direction
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for my life to head in.
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00:07:29,580 --> 00:07:32,083
I mean, one day the
kids will leave the nest,
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00:07:32,083 --> 00:07:35,252
and you and Trey will be off
on some superyacht somewhere,
177
00:07:35,263 --> 00:07:37,922
and Dad and Rose will be in
an assisted living facility,
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00:07:37,922 --> 00:07:40,202
fractioning one another's brains out.
179
00:07:40,565 --> 00:07:43,192
And I just wanna meet
somebody before my sex life
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00:07:43,265 --> 00:07:45,320
starts measuring in halves.
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00:07:46,138 --> 00:07:48,265
Jim, you are gonna meet someone.
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You are wildly likeable.
183
00:07:49,892 --> 00:07:51,602
Yeah, except when I'm doing yoga.
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You are naturally flexible. It's true.
185
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- I know, right?
- Mm-hmm.
186
00:07:55,773 --> 00:07:58,776
But I... I just don't know how to yoga.
187
00:07:58,776 --> 00:08:01,987
I mean, she's gonna know
that I'm a fraud, unless...
188
00:08:01,987 --> 00:08:03,489
What?
189
00:08:03,489 --> 00:08:06,617
Well, remember how you used to want me
190
00:08:06,617 --> 00:08:07,910
to do yoga with you?
191
00:08:07,910 --> 00:08:10,454
I mean, like, so much
that you wrote down
192
00:08:10,454 --> 00:08:12,748
a wish list with it?
193
00:08:12,748 --> 00:08:18,129
Well, Julia, I'm gonna make
wish number 26 come true.
194
00:08:18,129 --> 00:08:19,880
You want me to come to yoga with you
195
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:20,965
and be your yoga whisperer?
196
00:08:20,965 --> 00:08:23,592
Oh, my God, what a great idea!
197
00:08:25,803 --> 00:08:27,763
And Jim was like, I don't remember
198
00:08:27,763 --> 00:08:29,473
you asking me to do yoga.
199
00:08:29,473 --> 00:08:30,808
So I showed him proof.
200
00:08:30,808 --> 00:08:32,685
Proof?
201
00:08:32,685 --> 00:08:35,146
What, were you wearing a wire?
202
00:08:35,146 --> 00:08:36,689
No, "Hold Me Close."
203
00:08:36,689 --> 00:08:38,441
With pleasure.
204
00:08:41,027 --> 00:08:42,778
No.
205
00:08:42,778 --> 00:08:44,739
That's the name of the
book that I got Jim and I
206
00:08:44,739 --> 00:08:46,657
for us to save our marriage.
207
00:08:46,657 --> 00:08:48,868
Did you try to get a refund?
208
00:08:50,536 --> 00:08:52,747
Look here. My wish list,
209
00:08:52,747 --> 00:08:55,708
number 26, which is
"would do yoga with me."
210
00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:58,836
So Sunday, I'm gonna
be his yoga whisperer,
211
00:08:58,836 --> 00:09:01,088
9:00 a.m. at the Blissful Elephant.
212
00:09:01,088 --> 00:09:03,799
Jim gets list. Jim never reads list.
213
00:09:05,217 --> 00:09:06,844
Bad for him, good for me.
214
00:09:06,844 --> 00:09:08,804
Unnecessary for us.
215
00:09:08,804 --> 00:09:10,973
Okay... she's jumping! Oh, God!
216
00:09:14,602 --> 00:09:16,687
I realize that this
wish list was written
217
00:09:16,687 --> 00:09:21,275
for Jim and not for me, but, uh...
218
00:09:21,275 --> 00:09:23,152
this is a cheat code.
219
00:09:26,405 --> 00:09:29,909
Mr. Kearney, here's your
ten-class Bliss Passport.
220
00:09:29,909 --> 00:09:31,744
We'll stamp it for each blissful journey
221
00:09:31,744 --> 00:09:33,120
you take with us.
222
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,538
Well, I look forward to increasing
223
00:09:34,538 --> 00:09:35,706
my stretching abilities.
224
00:09:38,542 --> 00:09:41,295
Ananda.
225
00:09:41,295 --> 00:09:43,589
Jim.
226
00:09:47,385 --> 00:09:48,636
Have a blissful journey.
227
00:09:48,636 --> 00:09:50,179
Thank you, Ananda.
228
00:09:52,264 --> 00:09:53,557
Ooh.
229
00:09:53,557 --> 00:09:56,560
Yoga world's a little
more balmy than I thought.
230
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,562
And Kristen's not here.
231
00:09:58,562 --> 00:10:01,023
Let's stay at the back of the class.
232
00:10:01,023 --> 00:10:03,317
25 bucks a class, turn up the AC.
233
00:10:03,317 --> 00:10:05,903
Am I right?
234
00:10:05,903 --> 00:10:07,697
Right here is good
because no matter where
235
00:10:07,697 --> 00:10:09,740
Kristen puts her mat, she won't
be able to see you back here.
236
00:10:09,740 --> 00:10:11,117
Oh, yeah.
237
00:10:11,117 --> 00:10:13,953
And that way, I can get
a good look at her...
238
00:10:13,953 --> 00:10:15,496
actually, why am I not saying it?
239
00:10:15,496 --> 00:10:17,123
You and I are not married anymore.
240
00:10:17,123 --> 00:10:18,916
Her butt.
241
00:10:18,916 --> 00:10:21,877
I want a clean, unobstructed
view of her butt.
242
00:10:23,462 --> 00:10:25,214
Dear God, is it hot.
243
00:10:25,214 --> 00:10:26,924
Maybe because I'm here.
244
00:10:28,384 --> 00:10:29,510
What are you doing here?
245
00:10:29,510 --> 00:10:31,053
Number 18:
246
00:10:31,053 --> 00:10:34,098
"I sometimes wish affection
was expressed poetically."
247
00:10:34,098 --> 00:10:37,101
Baby, I love you so much
that when I'm away from you,
248
00:10:37,101 --> 00:10:39,395
there's an ache in my heart
that can only be soothed
249
00:10:39,395 --> 00:10:41,981
by the radiance of your face.
250
00:10:41,981 --> 00:10:44,775
Are you day drinking?
251
00:10:44,775 --> 00:10:49,405
Yeah, and I'm day drunk
off a case of Julia.
252
00:10:49,405 --> 00:10:51,991
Watch the hangover on that.
253
00:10:53,826 --> 00:10:55,578
- Mwah.
- Go right there.
254
00:10:55,578 --> 00:10:57,288
I wanna get a clean, unobstructed view
255
00:10:57,288 --> 00:10:58,706
of your butt.
256
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,169
Good morning, beautiful souls.
257
00:11:03,169 --> 00:11:04,920
That's her.
258
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,881
- The teacher?
- Yeah.
259
00:11:06,881 --> 00:11:08,257
Dude.
260
00:11:08,257 --> 00:11:09,467
Don't "dude" me.
261
00:11:09,467 --> 00:11:11,052
She... when she told
me this was her class,
262
00:11:11,052 --> 00:11:13,054
she meant it was her class.
263
00:11:13,054 --> 00:11:14,972
Oh, my... she's gonna know I'm a fraud.
264
00:11:14,972 --> 00:11:16,223
Welcome to hot yoga.
265
00:11:16,223 --> 00:11:20,144
Huh! So that's why it's so hot!
266
00:11:20,144 --> 00:11:21,979
Jim, you didn't mention it was hot yoga.
267
00:11:21,979 --> 00:11:23,147
This stuff is intense.
268
00:11:23,147 --> 00:11:24,690
Well, I'm gonna make a break for it.
269
00:11:25,775 --> 00:11:27,443
Jim!
270
00:11:27,443 --> 00:11:28,652
I'm glad you could make it.
271
00:11:28,652 --> 00:11:30,821
Kristen. Uh, yes.
272
00:11:30,821 --> 00:11:32,239
Yes, I'm just, uh...
273
00:11:32,239 --> 00:11:34,909
I'm just closing this door to, uh,
274
00:11:34,909 --> 00:11:39,497
trap in the blissfully
debilitating heat.
275
00:11:45,614 --> 00:11:47,032
Sat nam.
276
00:11:47,032 --> 00:11:49,826
- Sat nam.
- Sat nam.
277
00:11:49,826 --> 00:11:53,205
Today we'll practice the
Surya Namaskar sequence
278
00:11:53,205 --> 00:11:55,958
used for centuries in India
to train young warriors.
279
00:11:55,958 --> 00:11:58,085
Oh.
280
00:11:58,085 --> 00:11:59,670
Oh! Hello.
281
00:12:02,256 --> 00:12:03,840
For those of you who are new,
282
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,884
we heat the room to 105 degrees,
283
00:12:05,884 --> 00:12:07,427
which would have been a nice, breezy day
284
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:08,595
for young Indian warriors.
285
00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:11,984
Why is that funny?
286
00:12:11,995 --> 00:12:13,872
Yoga humor.
287
00:12:14,059 --> 00:12:16,436
Are you ready?
288
00:12:16,691 --> 00:12:17,938
Ha!
289
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,106
Ha!
290
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,785
Inhale, arms up.
291
00:12:22,985 --> 00:12:24,695
Exhale, fold.
292
00:12:24,695 --> 00:12:26,613
Inhale, halfway lift...
293
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:38,125
Exhale, adho mukha svanasana.
294
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,252
And jumping back up to standing.
295
00:12:40,252 --> 00:12:43,130
And again, we... did I hear someone say,
296
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,132
"Kristen, brr, I'm chilly-chill-chill"?
297
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:48,218
Okay then, let's turn up the heat.
298
00:12:48,218 --> 00:12:50,804
And again, going through the sequence.
299
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:53,473
Smooth breath. Engage your core.
300
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,892
Wow.
301
00:12:54,892 --> 00:12:56,716
Looks like we have a
warrior in our midst.
302
00:12:57,139 --> 00:12:58,312
Yes, you do.
303
00:12:58,312 --> 00:12:59,813
Number 22:
304
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:02,649
"I wish my husband would show enthusiasm
305
00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:04,109
for new challenges."
306
00:13:04,109 --> 00:13:06,026
This is such a challenge.
307
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,697
I'm so enthused.
308
00:13:10,199 --> 00:13:13,035
Okay, let's work on some
specifics of our form.
309
00:13:13,035 --> 00:13:14,620
Could someone help me demonstrate?
310
00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:15,663
Number seven:
311
00:13:15,674 --> 00:13:17,706
"I wish my husband
would volunteer more."
312
00:13:17,706 --> 00:13:19,033
I volunteer.
313
00:13:20,123 --> 00:13:21,210
Oh, our warrior.
314
00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:22,211
Come on up.
315
00:13:24,963 --> 00:13:26,423
Come on into plank for me.
316
00:13:26,423 --> 00:13:27,758
Oh.
317
00:13:29,426 --> 00:13:31,261
- Gorgeous.
- Gorgeous?
318
00:13:31,261 --> 00:13:33,639
See how everything is on the same plane?
319
00:13:33,639 --> 00:13:35,974
Straight as a warrior's sword.
320
00:13:35,974 --> 00:13:38,518
Why is she talking about his sword?
321
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:40,979
She likes 'em straight.
322
00:13:40,979 --> 00:13:45,192
Now, when my warrior lowers
into chaturanga dandasana,
323
00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:49,154
all his body will kiss
the earth simultaneously.
324
00:13:49,154 --> 00:13:50,572
Fantastic.
325
00:13:50,572 --> 00:13:52,074
When is the first water break?
326
00:13:52,074 --> 00:13:55,953
Let's give our special
warrior a round of applause.
327
00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:01,208
What? This is too slow for you all?
328
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,709
You wanna double-time it?
329
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,545
No. No... nobody said double-time.
330
00:14:04,545 --> 00:14:05,671
Nobody said anything.
331
00:14:05,671 --> 00:14:07,339
Who is talking to her?
332
00:14:08,690 --> 00:14:10,859
Okay, if you insist, here we go.
333
00:14:12,328 --> 00:14:13,387
Ha!
334
00:14:13,387 --> 00:14:14,763
Ha!
335
00:14:16,098 --> 00:14:17,891
If anything is too challenging,
336
00:14:17,891 --> 00:14:20,227
child's pose is always a great option.
337
00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:22,229
You know what else is an option, lady?
338
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,106
Keeping your hands off
other people's swords.
339
00:14:29,152 --> 00:14:30,195
That was amazing.
340
00:14:30,195 --> 00:14:31,947
Don't you guys feel invigorated?
341
00:14:33,782 --> 00:14:35,742
Jim, I-I should have warned you
342
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,244
how hard this class was.
343
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:42,249
I felt so bad every time
I looked over at you.
344
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,251
You know how they say,
don't let them see you sweat?
345
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:46,753
Well, uh, clearly whatever sociopath
346
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:49,548
invented hot yoga did not...
347
00:14:49,548 --> 00:14:51,133
I forgot the rest of that sentence.
348
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:53,600
Hey... hey, Kristen.
349
00:14:53,611 --> 00:14:55,238
Um, what are you doing later?
350
00:14:55,387 --> 00:14:56,930
You wanna grab a cup of coffee?
351
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,807
Oh, I don't drink coffee.
352
00:14:58,807 --> 00:15:01,351
How about a couple of gallons of water?
353
00:15:01,351 --> 00:15:03,687
We can go any place that serves water.
354
00:15:03,687 --> 00:15:05,314
Hey.
355
00:15:05,314 --> 00:15:07,274
That was a great class.
356
00:15:08,334 --> 00:15:09,599
Thanks for being my warrior today.
357
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:11,653
Any time.
358
00:15:11,653 --> 00:15:13,655
I'll see you at home. Namaste, baby.
359
00:15:16,484 --> 00:15:17,943
Yoga is such a gift.
360
00:15:18,295 --> 00:15:20,120
It's so good for your heart.
361
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,008
Is it, Ananda?
362
00:15:22,539 --> 00:15:24,708
Is it?
363
00:15:24,708 --> 00:15:27,294
Yeah, is it?
364
00:15:29,213 --> 00:15:30,797
Yeah, how about the way Trey was
365
00:15:30,797 --> 00:15:32,466
totally showing off for her?
366
00:15:32,691 --> 00:15:35,344
How would he like it if I
had been flirting with Ananda?
367
00:15:35,344 --> 00:15:37,638
Oh, Ananda, thank you
for checking me in.
368
00:15:37,638 --> 00:15:39,973
I feel so safe and
secure in your capable,
369
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:41,683
administrative hands.
370
00:15:41,683 --> 00:15:42,976
Oh, stamp my passport.
371
00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:44,686
Yeah, stamp it, right there.
372
00:15:44,686 --> 00:15:47,022
You got it. Right there.
Stamp it. Stamp it.
373
00:15:47,022 --> 00:15:48,941
Right there. Keep
stamping. Keep stamping.
374
00:15:48,941 --> 00:15:50,317
Stamp my bliss. Yeah.
375
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:53,487
Yeah, I'm your little bliss miss.
376
00:15:53,487 --> 00:15:55,239
How'd you like that, Trey?
377
00:15:56,657 --> 00:15:57,833
I'm Jim.
378
00:15:58,714 --> 00:16:01,008
You know what I should
have said to Trey?
379
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:02,871
"Don't you think you're
overdoing it a little bit?"
380
00:16:02,871 --> 00:16:04,164
And he would have said, "Overdoing it?
381
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,707
I think you're overreacting, Julia."
382
00:16:05,707 --> 00:16:07,459
And I would have said, "Overreacting?
383
00:16:07,459 --> 00:16:09,336
I don't think so." And
then he'd go, "What?"
384
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:10,671
and I'd go, "Yeah," and he'd go, "Pfft,"
385
00:16:10,671 --> 00:16:12,954
and I'd go, "Pssh."
386
00:16:13,345 --> 00:16:16,009
Are you having a fight in your head?
387
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,688
Yeah. I always do.
388
00:16:17,699 --> 00:16:20,660
I like to map things
out mentally beforehand.
389
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:22,253
This is why I always felt
390
00:16:22,264 --> 00:16:24,349
like I entered our fights in the middle.
391
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,479
If you're gonna argue with Trey,
392
00:16:27,479 --> 00:16:28,855
you should let him be there
393
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:31,692
to defend himself from the get-go.
394
00:16:31,692 --> 00:16:33,193
You're right.
395
00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:36,405
I... I have to go argue
with Trey face-to-face.
396
00:16:36,405 --> 00:16:37,865
Good.
397
00:16:37,865 --> 00:16:40,158
Today should be a bad day for everybody.
398
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,704
I mean...
399
00:16:43,704 --> 00:16:45,080
I gotta switch grocery stores
400
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,207
so that I never see Kristen ever again.
401
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,418
I wish you never gave me
those stupid yoga pants.
402
00:16:49,418 --> 00:16:52,504
Oh, yeah. Blame it on a Christmas gift.
403
00:16:52,504 --> 00:16:53,922
You know what, Jim?
404
00:16:53,922 --> 00:16:57,050
Kristen did seem genuinely
happy to see you show up.
405
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,261
And even happier to see me crawl out.
406
00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:02,347
If I were to write a new list,
407
00:17:02,347 --> 00:17:04,725
number one would be,
"I wish Jim would have
408
00:17:04,725 --> 00:17:08,061
the same confidence he had
when he first asked me out."
409
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:10,397
I was young and dumb
and had nothing to lose.
410
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:12,524
And now you're old and dumb
and have nothing to lose.
411
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,944
Food for thought.
412
00:17:15,944 --> 00:17:17,863
Enjoy your fight.
413
00:17:17,863 --> 00:17:18,947
I will.
414
00:17:28,713 --> 00:17:31,007
Trey, there's...
415
00:17:31,007 --> 00:17:32,759
there's something I need to say.
416
00:17:32,759 --> 00:17:34,761
- Out loud.
- Sure. Sure.
417
00:17:34,761 --> 00:17:36,097
I'm going to say it now.
418
00:17:36,108 --> 00:17:37,931
Go. Lay it on me.
419
00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:39,974
Um, you know how I'm pretty good
420
00:17:39,974 --> 00:17:41,768
at managing other people's conflicts?
421
00:17:41,768 --> 00:17:43,311
Babe, you're better than pretty good.
422
00:17:43,311 --> 00:17:44,354
You're ferocious.
423
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:45,772
Sure, I'm ferocious in my head,
424
00:17:45,772 --> 00:17:46,940
where I fight with other people
425
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,525
instead of directly talking to them.
426
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,693
What the hell did Jim do now?
427
00:17:50,693 --> 00:17:54,239
No, no, no. It's... it's about you.
428
00:17:55,461 --> 00:17:56,773
What is it?
429
00:17:57,742 --> 00:17:59,077
You were showing off in yoga.
430
00:17:59,077 --> 00:18:01,287
And... and I didn't know how to react.
431
00:18:01,287 --> 00:18:03,957
And then she got all touchy with you
432
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:06,876
and called you her warrior
and talked about your sword.
433
00:18:06,876 --> 00:18:08,336
And then you were kissing the earth.
434
00:18:08,336 --> 00:18:10,588
And it was embarrassing, and
I didn't know how to react.
435
00:18:10,588 --> 00:18:12,298
And then I got really jealous,
and I have not been jealous
436
00:18:12,298 --> 00:18:13,800
since I was 16 years old,
and it was really, really bad.
437
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:14,801
I do not wanna be jealous again.
438
00:18:14,801 --> 00:18:15,844
I got really, really jealous
439
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:17,262
about a boy named Craig Heisner.
440
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,638
And it's really embarrassing
that all of these words
441
00:18:18,638 --> 00:18:21,182
are just blurting out of
my mouth, so there you go.
442
00:18:25,126 --> 00:18:27,002
I was showing off.
443
00:18:27,939 --> 00:18:30,942
I was showing off for you.
444
00:18:30,942 --> 00:18:32,986
Why were you showing off for me?
445
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:35,238
I... you don't need to. I adore you.
446
00:18:35,238 --> 00:18:37,907
I couldn't be any more impressed by you.
447
00:18:37,907 --> 00:18:40,076
Yeah, and I wanna keep it that way.
448
00:18:40,076 --> 00:18:42,662
I wanna be enthusiastic
about new challenges.
449
00:18:42,662 --> 00:18:45,331
I wanna volunteer more.
450
00:18:45,331 --> 00:18:48,168
I wanna express my
affection for you poetically.
451
00:18:51,921 --> 00:18:53,798
You took my wish list out of the trash.
452
00:18:56,384 --> 00:18:58,386
I did.
453
00:18:58,386 --> 00:19:01,681
But your wishes don't
belong in the trash.
454
00:19:01,681 --> 00:19:04,225
That's really romantic.
455
00:19:04,225 --> 00:19:05,351
Here comes a hug.
456
00:19:05,351 --> 00:19:07,353
No, stop, stop! No. No.
457
00:19:07,353 --> 00:19:08,480
What?
458
00:19:09,856 --> 00:19:11,316
Hot yoga hurts.
459
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:14,652
Oh, my God.
460
00:19:14,652 --> 00:19:17,280
Baby. Aw.
461
00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:22,619
Hey, Kristen.
462
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:23,828
Jim.
463
00:19:23,828 --> 00:19:25,538
You know, great class yesterday.
464
00:19:25,538 --> 00:19:27,290
Uh, hard class.
465
00:19:27,290 --> 00:19:29,209
Hard... hot, uh...
466
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,544
hard, hot class.
467
00:19:31,544 --> 00:19:36,466
I just... I wanted to apologize
for exaggerating, uh...
468
00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:39,594
actually, inventing my yoga credentials.
469
00:19:39,594 --> 00:19:41,721
Um, I'm a divorced dad.
470
00:19:41,721 --> 00:19:43,139
I'm dipping my toe back into dating.
471
00:19:43,139 --> 00:19:45,558
- And I just, uh...
- Divorce is brutal.
472
00:19:45,558 --> 00:19:46,935
Yes. But luckily,
473
00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:48,436
my ex and I are on great terms.
474
00:19:48,436 --> 00:19:50,563
She actually came with me to the class
475
00:19:50,563 --> 00:19:52,482
with her fiancé, Trey...
476
00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:55,026
his sword was very straight.
477
00:19:55,026 --> 00:19:56,444
You mean the show-off?
478
00:19:56,444 --> 00:19:59,739
I'm so glad you noticed.
479
00:19:59,739 --> 00:20:02,158
My ex and I kept the family apartment,
480
00:20:02,158 --> 00:20:03,451
and we alternate weeks so that
481
00:20:03,451 --> 00:20:04,994
the kids don't have to move around.
482
00:20:04,994 --> 00:20:07,205
Oh. I grew up with divorced parents
483
00:20:07,205 --> 00:20:09,082
and always hated
bouncing back and forth.
484
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:10,500
It's good you're
putting your kids first.
485
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,920
Very unselfish. That's
some life yoga there.
486
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,422
Sat nam.
487
00:20:15,422 --> 00:20:16,548
Sat nam!
488
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:22,262
Um...
489
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:24,764
hey, uh, you think
maybe we could get a...
490
00:20:24,764 --> 00:20:26,975
a cup of something... not coffee.
491
00:20:26,975 --> 00:20:29,310
Maybe a tea or smoothie?
492
00:20:29,310 --> 00:20:30,353
Boba?
493
00:20:30,353 --> 00:20:33,189
Well, I'd kill for a cup of coffee.
494
00:20:33,189 --> 00:20:34,899
You said you don't drink coffee.
495
00:20:34,899 --> 00:20:36,234
I lied.
496
00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:38,278
Oh, great. We have something in common.
497
00:20:42,365 --> 00:20:47,495
And exhaling as you squeeze
your legs into your chest.
498
00:20:47,495 --> 00:20:49,789
This pose is called pavanamuktasana,
499
00:20:49,789 --> 00:20:52,667
or wind-relieving pose.
500
00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:55,754
And just to relieve anyone
of any embarrassment,
501
00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:58,798
I wanna say that if you find
some wind being released,
502
00:20:58,798 --> 00:21:01,259
then you're doing it right.
503
00:21:01,259 --> 00:21:03,928
Wait, we're supposed to fart?
504
00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:09,267
Well, don't go out of your way, but...
505
00:21:09,267 --> 00:21:10,351
Yoga.
506
00:21:10,351 --> 00:21:12,479
Where have you been my whole life?
507
00:21:17,473 --> 00:21:22,473
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
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