All language subtitles for Extended Family - 01x11 - The Consequences of Writing Things Down.JFF+SuccessfulCrab.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,393 --> 00:00:02,087 Jim, I have brought your children 2 00:00:02,098 --> 00:00:03,641 back home safe and sound. 3 00:00:03,641 --> 00:00:05,768 Excellent. I hope everybody's hungry. 4 00:00:05,768 --> 00:00:07,562 I have a homemade lasagna, 5 00:00:07,562 --> 00:00:09,480 straight from the Stop & Shop freezer section. 6 00:00:09,813 --> 00:00:11,691 Dad, I know I've been away all day, 7 00:00:11,691 --> 00:00:13,067 but can I go to Cody's? 8 00:00:13,067 --> 00:00:14,444 There's a "Fortnite" tourney. 9 00:00:14,444 --> 00:00:17,739 Plus, Cody's mom makes food that was never frozen. 10 00:00:17,739 --> 00:00:19,282 Sure. Have fun. 11 00:00:19,282 --> 00:00:21,659 Dad, I know that you went through a lot of trouble 12 00:00:21,659 --> 00:00:25,204 to make the money that bought that lasagna, 13 00:00:25,204 --> 00:00:28,374 but Katie invited me for a sleepover. 14 00:00:28,374 --> 00:00:31,085 It was great spending a quality 35 seconds 15 00:00:31,085 --> 00:00:32,837 with both of you today. 16 00:00:32,837 --> 00:00:34,255 Dad, I hope you're hungry. 17 00:00:34,255 --> 00:00:36,424 Thanks, Jim, but I got a date with Rose tonight. 18 00:00:36,424 --> 00:00:38,301 We're gonna Netflix and chill. 19 00:00:40,428 --> 00:00:42,347 You know that means have sex? 20 00:00:42,347 --> 00:00:43,389 I do. 21 00:00:44,687 --> 00:00:46,555 I was trying to be discreet. 22 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,520 Well, there's no need for this to go to waste. 23 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,159 If you wanna take some to Rose, you can. 24 00:00:51,170 --> 00:00:54,283 Yes! Rose can't call me cheap anymore. 25 00:00:54,734 --> 00:00:56,653 Can you spare a bottle of wine? 26 00:00:56,664 --> 00:00:57,809 Sure. Take one of those. 27 00:00:57,820 --> 00:00:58,988 Thanks. 28 00:00:58,999 --> 00:01:01,501 I should probably grab one for Rose too. 29 00:01:02,853 --> 00:01:05,022 Always thinking of others. 30 00:01:05,443 --> 00:01:08,098 So, uh, you and Rose are getting serious? 31 00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:12,627 As of last night, we've made love six and a half times. 32 00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:16,538 That really amazes me to hear a fraction. 33 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,622 Too bad you don't have a date lined up for tonight, Jim. 34 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:22,499 You know, it's never been easier. 35 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:24,835 I'm on seven different dating apps now. 36 00:01:24,846 --> 00:01:25,869 Does Rose know that? 37 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,213 She's on nine. 38 00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:31,291 At our age, you gotta have a deep bench. 39 00:01:31,686 --> 00:01:33,427 Well, those dating apps. 40 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,385 I-I like meeting women out in the wild. 41 00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:37,690 You know, everybody on dating apps is looking for a date. 42 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:40,100 I wanna meet someone who's not looking for a date, 43 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,227 but who finds one anyway. 44 00:01:43,655 --> 00:01:46,491 I'm not just saying this because I'm your father. 45 00:01:46,502 --> 00:01:49,630 Somebody out there would be lucky to settle for you. 46 00:01:51,835 --> 00:01:53,837 Kids, let's go! 47 00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:56,533 Enjoy your sleepovers, everyone. 48 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,743 Oh. [CHUCKLES] 49 00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,494 You know I will. 50 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:03,123 Tonight, we're gonna try to go from six and a half to seven. 51 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,541 You wanna know how? 52 00:02:05,739 --> 00:02:08,416 I desperately, desperately do not. 53 00:02:09,056 --> 00:02:11,725 ♪ It's true ♪ 54 00:02:11,736 --> 00:02:15,865 ♪ The marriage that we once had now is through ♪ 55 00:02:15,876 --> 00:02:19,880 ♪ And now we're doing all that we can do ♪ 56 00:02:20,087 --> 00:02:24,717 ♪ To keep us all together as a crew ♪ 57 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:28,523 ♪ Just do as we say, not as we do ♪ 58 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:32,527 ♪ We really thought that we were done ♪ 59 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:34,905 ♪ But we've just begun ♪ 60 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,209 Chilly in here, huh? 61 00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:48,710 Oh, I know. 62 00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:51,088 I just saw a family of four hugging a rotisserie chicken 63 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:52,714 to stay warm. 64 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:56,343 [LAUGHING] 65 00:02:58,820 --> 00:03:00,277 I like those prAna pants. 66 00:03:00,288 --> 00:03:01,831 Do you do yoga? 67 00:03:03,253 --> 00:03:04,810 I do not do yoga. 68 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,729 And I had no idea they were yoga pants. 69 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,564 I got them from Julia, and I wear them 70 00:03:09,564 --> 00:03:11,973 because they are deliciously buttery soft. 71 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,069 Look, I don't want to lie to this woman, 72 00:03:14,069 --> 00:03:15,737 but on the other hand, I feel like, you know, 73 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,489 I might have a little nibble on the line here, 74 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,137 and I don't wanna scare off the fish... 75 00:03:19,148 --> 00:03:21,609 which I realize is an outdated metaphor, 76 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,662 reducing a human being to something 77 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:27,416 that can be, essentially, hunted with a worm. 78 00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,835 But since I've already used it, 79 00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,086 I got a live one. 80 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:33,264 Uh... [CHUCKLES] 81 00:03:33,742 --> 00:03:36,245 Do I do yoga? 82 00:03:36,305 --> 00:03:38,056 Seems like everyone's doing yoga now. 83 00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:40,236 Not a lie. I repeated a question 84 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,805 and stated a fact. 85 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,891 It's nice to run into a yogi 86 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:48,687 in the barren wasteland of frozen food. 87 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:51,606 I keep telling myself I should remain in produce, 88 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:55,944 but oh, these chicken pot pies. 89 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,863 Oh, you have... cheers. 90 00:03:57,863 --> 00:04:00,073 [BOTH LAUGH] 91 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,492 You ever go to the Blissful Elephant studio? 92 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,995 No, but, uh, I've definitely heard about it. 93 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,257 Also not a lie. 94 00:04:06,268 --> 00:04:08,478 She just said it, and I just heard it. 95 00:04:08,783 --> 00:04:09,909 Where do you practice? 96 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,672 Giggling Goat. Yoga Hut. 97 00:04:11,749 --> 00:04:13,834 I know... you're a Dancing Shiva dude. 98 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,543 [LAUGHS] 99 00:04:15,553 --> 00:04:17,254 That... that is a great guess. 100 00:04:17,265 --> 00:04:18,673 I assume. 101 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,803 What's your favorite class over there? 102 00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:24,681 Ah, I really can't say. [CHUCKLES] 103 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,449 And I really couldn't say 104 00:04:26,460 --> 00:04:29,463 because I had no idea what I was talking about. 105 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,354 Who's your favorite teacher? 106 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,564 Mm, names. 107 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,429 Oh, God, I'm so bad with names. 108 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,858 Um... 109 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:40,006 names are... are just clothing for the soul. 110 00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:45,065 That's deep. You sound like a true yogi. 111 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,703 Thank you. 112 00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,832 Uh, my Western name is Jim. 113 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:55,003 But my soul will answer to anything 114 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:57,005 delivered with kindness. 115 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,382 Oh. 116 00:05:00,984 --> 00:05:02,110 Kristen. 117 00:05:02,121 --> 00:05:03,497 Oh. 118 00:05:03,899 --> 00:05:05,276 It was nice to... 119 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,849 If you ever wanna try Blissful Elephant, 120 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,559 I'm there Sundays at 9:00 a.m. 121 00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:12,521 Oh, all right. 9:00 a.m. Sunday. 122 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:15,315 You know, I'm... I'll start stretching now. 123 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,650 Great. I-I... 124 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,402 I don't wanna sound too woo-woo, 125 00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:20,529 but this class has really changed 126 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,322 my conversation with the world. 127 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,805 You know, that is not woo-woo. 128 00:05:23,816 --> 00:05:25,401 That's... that's wahoo. 129 00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,975 You know, me and the world, we can talk all night. 130 00:05:27,986 --> 00:05:30,956 You know, yap, yap, yap. No, you go, world. 131 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,458 No, you go, Jim. [HIGH-PITCHED LAUGH] 132 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,419 You're hysterical, Jim. No you, world! 133 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:37,254 Ha ha! 134 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:40,507 I-I really hope I see you at the Elephant on Sunday. 135 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,384 Maybe I'll bring my friend, the world. 136 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:43,760 Okay. 137 00:05:45,269 --> 00:05:46,463 Kearney got a bite. 138 00:05:49,134 --> 00:05:50,174 [GRUNTING] 139 00:05:52,980 --> 00:05:55,107 Should I call 911? 140 00:05:55,107 --> 00:05:57,985 Yeah, and tell them you entered without knocking. 141 00:05:57,985 --> 00:06:00,029 Sorry, I left my license on the dresser. 142 00:06:00,275 --> 00:06:01,588 Are you doing yoga? 143 00:06:01,599 --> 00:06:02,661 I am. 144 00:06:02,672 --> 00:06:04,465 Turns out I have a gift for the stretchy art. 145 00:06:04,825 --> 00:06:06,786 - What's her name? - Kristen. 146 00:06:06,786 --> 00:06:08,537 We were flirting at NutriNook. 147 00:06:08,537 --> 00:06:10,665 So I'm gonna meet her for yoga on Sunday 148 00:06:10,665 --> 00:06:12,959 at the Blissful Elephant at 9:00 a.m. 149 00:06:12,959 --> 00:06:14,126 Unreal. 150 00:06:14,126 --> 00:06:16,337 For years, I tried to get you to do yoga, 151 00:06:16,337 --> 00:06:17,797 and you chose watching baseball, 152 00:06:17,797 --> 00:06:20,383 golf, and napping every time. 153 00:06:20,383 --> 00:06:23,427 The couch is an ever-beckoning mistress. 154 00:06:23,427 --> 00:06:26,263 And the TV is her trampy best friend. 155 00:06:26,263 --> 00:06:28,724 And I don't recall you ever asking me to do yoga. 156 00:06:28,724 --> 00:06:29,976 Oh. 157 00:06:29,976 --> 00:06:31,143 I have proof. 158 00:06:31,143 --> 00:06:33,521 Proof? Were you wearing a wire? 159 00:06:35,803 --> 00:06:37,096 Ha! 160 00:06:37,107 --> 00:06:38,542 Remember this book? 161 00:06:38,553 --> 00:06:41,264 "Hold Me Close: A Marital Guide to Reignite Passion"? 162 00:06:41,445 --> 00:06:43,001 Definitely not. 163 00:06:43,656 --> 00:06:46,659 The book encouraged us to make a list of some things 164 00:06:46,659 --> 00:06:47,785 you wish your spouse would do to restore 165 00:06:47,785 --> 00:06:49,328 the bonds of your marriage. 166 00:06:49,328 --> 00:06:50,997 Wait, you actually did that? 167 00:06:50,997 --> 00:06:52,123 Yes! 168 00:06:52,123 --> 00:06:53,416 [SCOFFS] 169 00:06:53,416 --> 00:06:54,500 Uh... 170 00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,002 okay, here it is. 171 00:06:56,002 --> 00:06:58,963 Number 26: "I wish Jim did yoga with me." 172 00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:04,005 So you're saying that if I had done yoga back then, 173 00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:06,018 I'd be prepared for this date? 174 00:07:08,347 --> 00:07:09,515 Kristen's gonna know that 175 00:07:09,515 --> 00:07:10,725 I've never done yoga before, isn't she? 176 00:07:10,725 --> 00:07:12,351 I'm sure she's not expecting you 177 00:07:12,351 --> 00:07:13,686 to be some great yogi. 178 00:07:13,686 --> 00:07:15,354 Well, she may have gotten the impression 179 00:07:15,354 --> 00:07:16,675 that I was a yogi. 180 00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:17,706 How? 181 00:07:17,717 --> 00:07:20,553 From me giving her the impression I was a yogi. 182 00:07:20,682 --> 00:07:23,226 I got excited 'cause it seemed like she was liking me, 183 00:07:23,237 --> 00:07:25,865 and I just wanted things to keep going in the direction 184 00:07:25,865 --> 00:07:28,284 of her liking me because that's not a bad direction 185 00:07:28,284 --> 00:07:29,535 for my life to head in. 186 00:07:29,535 --> 00:07:32,038 I mean, one day the kids will leave the nest, 187 00:07:32,038 --> 00:07:35,207 and you and Trey will be off on some superyacht somewhere, 188 00:07:35,218 --> 00:07:37,877 and Dad and Rose will be in an assisted living facility, 189 00:07:37,877 --> 00:07:40,157 fractioning one another's brains out. 190 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,147 And I just wanna meet somebody before my sex life 191 00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:45,275 starts measuring in halves. 192 00:07:46,093 --> 00:07:48,220 Jim, you are gonna meet someone. 193 00:07:48,220 --> 00:07:49,836 You are wildly likeable. 194 00:07:49,847 --> 00:07:51,557 Yeah, except when I'm doing yoga. 195 00:07:51,557 --> 00:07:53,980 You are naturally flexible. It's true. 196 00:07:53,991 --> 00:07:55,618 - I know, right? - Mm-hmm. 197 00:07:55,728 --> 00:07:58,731 But I... I just don't know how to yoga. 198 00:07:58,731 --> 00:08:01,942 I mean, she's gonna know that I'm a fraud, unless... 199 00:08:01,942 --> 00:08:03,444 What? 200 00:08:03,444 --> 00:08:06,572 Well, remember how you used to want me 201 00:08:06,572 --> 00:08:07,865 to do yoga with you? 202 00:08:07,865 --> 00:08:10,409 I mean, like, so much that you wrote down 203 00:08:10,409 --> 00:08:12,703 a wish list with it? 204 00:08:12,703 --> 00:08:18,084 Well, Julia, I'm gonna make wish number 26 come true. 205 00:08:18,084 --> 00:08:19,835 You want me to come to yoga with you 206 00:08:19,835 --> 00:08:20,920 and be your yoga whisperer? 207 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,547 Oh, my God, what a great idea! 208 00:08:23,547 --> 00:08:25,758 [BRIGHT ROCK MUSIC] 209 00:08:25,758 --> 00:08:27,718 And Jim was like, I don't remember 210 00:08:27,718 --> 00:08:29,428 you asking me to do yoga. 211 00:08:29,428 --> 00:08:30,763 So I showed him proof. 212 00:08:30,763 --> 00:08:32,640 Proof? 213 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,101 What, were you wearing a wire? 214 00:08:35,101 --> 00:08:36,644 No, "Hold Me Close." 215 00:08:36,644 --> 00:08:38,396 With pleasure. 216 00:08:38,396 --> 00:08:40,982 [LAUGHING] 217 00:08:40,982 --> 00:08:42,733 No. 218 00:08:42,733 --> 00:08:44,694 That's the name of the book that I got Jim and I 219 00:08:44,694 --> 00:08:46,612 for us to save our marriage. 220 00:08:46,612 --> 00:08:48,823 Did you try to get a refund? 221 00:08:50,491 --> 00:08:52,702 Look here. My wish list, 222 00:08:52,702 --> 00:08:55,663 number 26, which is "would do yoga with me." 223 00:08:55,663 --> 00:08:58,791 So Sunday, I'm gonna be his yoga whisperer, 224 00:08:58,791 --> 00:09:01,043 9:00 a.m. at the Blissful Elephant. 225 00:09:01,043 --> 00:09:03,754 Jim gets list. Jim never reads list. 226 00:09:05,172 --> 00:09:06,799 Bad for him, good for me. 227 00:09:06,799 --> 00:09:08,759 Unnecessary for us. 228 00:09:08,759 --> 00:09:10,928 Okay... she's jumping! Oh, God! 229 00:09:10,928 --> 00:09:12,305 [LAUGHS] 230 00:09:12,305 --> 00:09:14,557 ♪ ♪ 231 00:09:14,557 --> 00:09:16,642 I realize that this wish list was written 232 00:09:16,642 --> 00:09:21,230 for Jim and not for me, but, uh... 233 00:09:21,230 --> 00:09:23,107 this is a cheat code. 234 00:09:23,107 --> 00:09:26,360 ♪ ♪ 235 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,864 Mr. Kearney, here's your ten-class Bliss Passport. 236 00:09:29,864 --> 00:09:31,699 We'll stamp it for each blissful journey 237 00:09:31,699 --> 00:09:33,075 you take with us. 238 00:09:33,075 --> 00:09:34,493 Well, I look forward to increasing 239 00:09:34,493 --> 00:09:35,661 my stretching abilities. 240 00:09:35,661 --> 00:09:38,497 [SOFT ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING] 241 00:09:38,497 --> 00:09:41,250 [EXHALES DEEPLY] Ananda. 242 00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:43,544 [CLAPS] Jim. 243 00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:48,591 Have a blissful journey. 244 00:09:48,591 --> 00:09:50,134 Thank you, Ananda. 245 00:09:52,219 --> 00:09:53,512 Ooh. 246 00:09:53,512 --> 00:09:56,515 Yoga world's a little more balmy than I thought. 247 00:09:56,515 --> 00:09:58,517 And Kristen's not here. 248 00:09:58,517 --> 00:10:00,978 Let's stay at the back of the class. 249 00:10:00,978 --> 00:10:03,272 25 bucks a class, turn up the AC. 250 00:10:03,272 --> 00:10:05,858 Am I right? [CHUCKLES] 251 00:10:05,858 --> 00:10:07,652 Right here is good because no matter where 252 00:10:07,652 --> 00:10:09,695 Kristen puts her mat, she won't be able to see you back here. 253 00:10:09,695 --> 00:10:11,072 Oh, yeah. 254 00:10:11,072 --> 00:10:13,908 And that way, I can get a good look at her... 255 00:10:13,908 --> 00:10:15,451 actually, why am I not saying it? 256 00:10:15,451 --> 00:10:17,078 You and I are not married anymore. 257 00:10:17,078 --> 00:10:18,871 Her butt. 258 00:10:18,871 --> 00:10:21,832 I want a clean, unobstructed view of her butt. 259 00:10:23,417 --> 00:10:25,169 Dear God, is it hot. 260 00:10:25,169 --> 00:10:26,879 Maybe because I'm here. 261 00:10:28,339 --> 00:10:29,465 What are you doing here? 262 00:10:29,465 --> 00:10:31,008 Number 18: 263 00:10:31,008 --> 00:10:34,053 "I sometimes wish affection was expressed poetically." 264 00:10:34,053 --> 00:10:37,056 Baby, I love you so much that when I'm away from you, 265 00:10:37,056 --> 00:10:39,350 there's an ache in my heart that can only be soothed 266 00:10:39,350 --> 00:10:41,936 by the radiance of your face. 267 00:10:41,936 --> 00:10:44,730 Are you day drinking? 268 00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:49,360 Yeah, and I'm day drunk off a case of Julia. 269 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,946 Watch the hangover on that. 270 00:10:53,781 --> 00:10:55,533 - Mwah. - Go right there. 271 00:10:55,533 --> 00:10:57,243 I wanna get a clean, unobstructed view 272 00:10:57,243 --> 00:10:58,661 of your butt. 273 00:11:00,955 --> 00:11:03,124 Good morning, beautiful souls. 274 00:11:03,124 --> 00:11:04,875 That's her. 275 00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:06,836 - The teacher? - Yeah. 276 00:11:06,836 --> 00:11:08,212 [SCOFFS] Dude. 277 00:11:08,212 --> 00:11:09,422 Don't "dude" me. 278 00:11:09,422 --> 00:11:11,007 She... when she told me this was her class, 279 00:11:11,007 --> 00:11:13,009 she meant it was her class. 280 00:11:13,009 --> 00:11:14,927 Oh, my... she's gonna know I'm a fraud. 281 00:11:14,927 --> 00:11:16,178 Welcome to hot yoga. 282 00:11:16,178 --> 00:11:20,099 Huh! So that's why it's so hot! 283 00:11:20,099 --> 00:11:21,934 Jim, you didn't mention it was hot yoga. 284 00:11:21,934 --> 00:11:23,102 This stuff is intense. 285 00:11:23,102 --> 00:11:24,645 Well, I'm gonna make a break for it. 286 00:11:25,730 --> 00:11:27,398 Jim! 287 00:11:27,398 --> 00:11:28,607 I'm glad you could make it. 288 00:11:28,607 --> 00:11:30,776 Kristen. Uh, yes. 289 00:11:30,776 --> 00:11:32,194 Yes, I'm just, uh... 290 00:11:32,194 --> 00:11:34,864 I'm just closing this door to, uh, 291 00:11:34,864 --> 00:11:39,452 trap in the blissfully debilitating heat. 292 00:11:43,475 --> 00:11:44,608 [GONG REVERBERATES] 293 00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:47,048 Sat nam. 294 00:11:47,048 --> 00:11:49,842 - ALL: Sat nam. - [STRAINED] Sat nam. 295 00:11:49,842 --> 00:11:53,221 Today we'll practice the Surya Namaskar sequence 296 00:11:53,221 --> 00:11:55,974 used for centuries in India to train young warriors. 297 00:11:55,974 --> 00:11:58,101 Oh. 298 00:11:58,101 --> 00:11:59,686 Oh! Hello. 299 00:12:02,272 --> 00:12:03,856 For those of you who are new, 300 00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:05,900 we heat the room to 105 degrees, 301 00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:07,443 which would have been a nice, breezy day 302 00:12:07,443 --> 00:12:08,611 for young Indian warriors. 303 00:12:08,611 --> 00:12:10,613 [LAUGHTER] 304 00:12:10,613 --> 00:12:12,000 Why is that funny? 305 00:12:12,011 --> 00:12:13,888 Yoga humor. 306 00:12:14,075 --> 00:12:16,452 Are you ready? 307 00:12:16,707 --> 00:12:17,954 ALL: Ha! 308 00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,122 [FEEBLY] Ha! 309 00:12:21,132 --> 00:12:22,801 Inhale, arms up. 310 00:12:23,001 --> 00:12:24,711 Exhale, fold. 311 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,629 Inhale, halfway lift... 312 00:12:26,629 --> 00:12:29,549 [UPBEAT TECHNO MUSIC] 313 00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:36,639 ♪ ♪ 314 00:12:36,639 --> 00:12:38,141 Exhale, adho mukha svanasana. 315 00:12:38,141 --> 00:12:40,268 And jumping back up to standing. 316 00:12:40,268 --> 00:12:43,146 And again, we... did I hear someone say, 317 00:12:43,146 --> 00:12:45,148 "Kristen, brr, I'm chilly-chill-chill"? 318 00:12:45,148 --> 00:12:48,234 Okay then, let's turn up the heat. 319 00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:50,820 And again, going through the sequence. 320 00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:53,489 Smooth breath. Engage your core. 321 00:12:53,489 --> 00:12:54,908 Wow. 322 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,732 Looks like we have a warrior in our midst. 323 00:12:57,155 --> 00:12:58,328 Yes, you do. 324 00:12:58,328 --> 00:12:59,829 Number 22: 325 00:12:59,829 --> 00:13:02,665 "I wish my husband would show enthusiasm 326 00:13:02,665 --> 00:13:04,125 for new challenges." 327 00:13:04,125 --> 00:13:06,042 This is such a challenge. 328 00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:08,713 I'm so enthused. 329 00:13:10,215 --> 00:13:13,051 Okay, let's work on some specifics of our form. 330 00:13:13,051 --> 00:13:14,636 Could someone help me demonstrate? 331 00:13:14,636 --> 00:13:15,679 Number seven: 332 00:13:15,690 --> 00:13:17,722 "I wish my husband would volunteer more." 333 00:13:17,722 --> 00:13:19,049 I volunteer. 334 00:13:20,139 --> 00:13:21,226 Oh, our warrior. 335 00:13:21,226 --> 00:13:22,227 Come on up. 336 00:13:24,979 --> 00:13:26,439 Come on into plank for me. 337 00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:27,774 Oh. 338 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,277 - Gorgeous. - Gorgeous? 339 00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:33,655 See how everything is on the same plane? 340 00:13:33,655 --> 00:13:35,990 Straight as a warrior's sword. 341 00:13:35,990 --> 00:13:38,534 Why is she talking about his sword? 342 00:13:38,534 --> 00:13:40,995 She likes 'em straight. 343 00:13:40,995 --> 00:13:45,208 Now, when my warrior lowers into chaturanga dandasana, 344 00:13:45,208 --> 00:13:49,170 all his body will kiss the earth simultaneously. 345 00:13:49,170 --> 00:13:50,588 Fantastic. 346 00:13:50,588 --> 00:13:52,090 When is the first water break? 347 00:13:52,090 --> 00:13:55,969 Let's give our special warrior a round of applause. 348 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,888 [APPLAUSE] 349 00:13:58,888 --> 00:14:01,224 What? This is too slow for you all? 350 00:14:01,224 --> 00:14:02,725 You wanna double-time it? 351 00:14:02,725 --> 00:14:04,561 No. No... nobody said double-time. 352 00:14:04,561 --> 00:14:05,687 Nobody said anything. 353 00:14:05,687 --> 00:14:07,355 Who is talking to her? 354 00:14:08,706 --> 00:14:10,875 Okay, if you insist, here we go. 355 00:14:12,344 --> 00:14:13,403 ALL: Ha! 356 00:14:13,403 --> 00:14:14,779 [FEEBLY] Ha! 357 00:14:16,114 --> 00:14:17,907 If anything is too challenging, 358 00:14:17,907 --> 00:14:20,243 child's pose is always a great option. 359 00:14:20,243 --> 00:14:22,245 You know what else is an option, lady? 360 00:14:22,245 --> 00:14:24,122 Keeping your hands off other people's swords. 361 00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:29,168 [APPLAUSE] 362 00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:30,211 That was amazing. 363 00:14:30,211 --> 00:14:31,963 Don't you guys feel invigorated? 364 00:14:33,798 --> 00:14:35,758 Jim, I-I should have warned you 365 00:14:35,758 --> 00:14:37,260 how hard this class was. 366 00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:42,265 I felt so bad every time I looked over at you. 367 00:14:42,265 --> 00:14:44,267 You know how they say, don't let them see you sweat? 368 00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,769 Well, uh, clearly whatever sociopath 369 00:14:46,769 --> 00:14:49,564 invented hot yoga did not... 370 00:14:49,564 --> 00:14:51,149 I forgot the rest of that sentence. 371 00:14:52,449 --> 00:14:53,616 Hey... hey, Kristen. 372 00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:55,254 Um, what are you doing later? 373 00:14:55,403 --> 00:14:56,946 You wanna grab a cup of coffee? 374 00:14:56,946 --> 00:14:58,823 Oh, I don't drink coffee. 375 00:14:58,823 --> 00:15:01,367 How about a couple of gallons of water? 376 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:03,703 We can go any place that serves water. 377 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,330 Hey. 378 00:15:05,330 --> 00:15:07,290 - That was a great class. - [GRUNTS] 379 00:15:07,290 --> 00:15:08,339 [GRUNTS] 380 00:15:08,350 --> 00:15:09,615 Thanks for being my warrior today. 381 00:15:09,626 --> 00:15:11,669 Any time. 382 00:15:11,669 --> 00:15:13,671 I'll see you at home. Namaste, baby. 383 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:17,959 Yoga is such a gift. 384 00:15:18,311 --> 00:15:20,136 It's so good for your heart. 385 00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,024 Is it, Ananda? 386 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,724 Is it? 387 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:27,310 Yeah, is it? 388 00:15:27,310 --> 00:15:29,229 [BRIGHT ROCK MUSIC] 389 00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:30,813 Yeah, how about the way Trey was 390 00:15:30,813 --> 00:15:32,482 totally showing off for her? 391 00:15:32,707 --> 00:15:35,360 How would he like it if I had been flirting with Ananda? 392 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,654 Oh, Ananda, thank you for checking me in. 393 00:15:37,654 --> 00:15:39,989 I feel so safe and secure in your capable, 394 00:15:39,989 --> 00:15:41,699 administrative hands. 395 00:15:41,699 --> 00:15:42,992 Oh, stamp my passport. 396 00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:44,702 Yeah, stamp it, right there. 397 00:15:44,702 --> 00:15:47,038 You got it. Right there. Stamp it. Stamp it. 398 00:15:47,038 --> 00:15:48,957 Right there. Keep stamping. Keep stamping. 399 00:15:48,957 --> 00:15:50,333 Stamp my bliss. Yeah. 400 00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:53,503 Yeah, I'm your little bliss miss. 401 00:15:53,503 --> 00:15:55,255 How'd you like that, Trey? 402 00:15:56,673 --> 00:15:57,849 I'm Jim. 403 00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:01,024 You know what I should have said to Trey? 404 00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:02,887 "Don't you think you're overdoing it a little bit?" 405 00:16:02,887 --> 00:16:04,180 And he would have said, "Overdoing it? 406 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,723 I think you're overreacting, Julia." 407 00:16:05,723 --> 00:16:07,475 And I would have said, "Overreacting? 408 00:16:07,475 --> 00:16:09,352 I don't think so." And then he'd go, "What?" 409 00:16:09,352 --> 00:16:10,687 and I'd go, "Yeah," and he'd go, "Pfft," 410 00:16:10,687 --> 00:16:12,970 and I'd go, "Pssh." 411 00:16:13,361 --> 00:16:16,025 Are you having a fight in your head? 412 00:16:16,025 --> 00:16:17,704 Yeah. I always do. 413 00:16:17,715 --> 00:16:20,676 I like to map things out mentally beforehand. 414 00:16:20,863 --> 00:16:22,269 This is why I always felt 415 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,365 like I entered our fights in the middle. 416 00:16:25,816 --> 00:16:27,495 If you're gonna argue with Trey, 417 00:16:27,495 --> 00:16:28,871 you should let him be there 418 00:16:28,871 --> 00:16:31,708 to defend himself from the get-go. 419 00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:33,209 You're right. 420 00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:36,421 I... I have to go argue with Trey face-to-face. 421 00:16:36,421 --> 00:16:37,881 Good. 422 00:16:37,881 --> 00:16:40,174 Today should be a bad day for everybody. 423 00:16:42,051 --> 00:16:43,720 I mean... [COUGHS] 424 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,096 I gotta switch grocery stores 425 00:16:45,096 --> 00:16:47,223 so that I never see Kristen ever again. 426 00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:49,434 I wish you never gave me those stupid yoga pants. 427 00:16:49,434 --> 00:16:52,520 Oh, yeah. Blame it on a Christmas gift. 428 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:53,938 You know what, Jim? 429 00:16:53,938 --> 00:16:57,066 Kristen did seem genuinely happy to see you show up. 430 00:16:57,066 --> 00:16:59,277 And even happier to see me crawl out. 431 00:17:01,029 --> 00:17:02,363 If I were to write a new list, 432 00:17:02,363 --> 00:17:04,741 number one would be, "I wish Jim would have 433 00:17:04,741 --> 00:17:08,077 the same confidence he had when he first asked me out." 434 00:17:08,077 --> 00:17:10,413 I was young and dumb and had nothing to lose. 435 00:17:10,413 --> 00:17:12,540 And now you're old and dumb and have nothing to lose. 436 00:17:14,417 --> 00:17:15,960 Food for thought. 437 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,879 Enjoy your fight. 438 00:17:17,879 --> 00:17:18,963 I will. 439 00:17:22,414 --> 00:17:23,761 [BRIGHT ROCK MUSIC] 440 00:17:25,417 --> 00:17:26,710 [ELEVATOR CHIMES] 441 00:17:28,749 --> 00:17:31,043 Trey, there's... 442 00:17:31,043 --> 00:17:32,795 there's something I need to say. 443 00:17:32,795 --> 00:17:34,797 - Out loud. - Sure. Sure. 444 00:17:34,797 --> 00:17:36,133 I'm going to say it now. 445 00:17:36,144 --> 00:17:37,967 Go. Lay it on me. 446 00:17:37,967 --> 00:17:40,010 Um, you know how I'm pretty good 447 00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:41,804 at managing other people's conflicts? 448 00:17:41,804 --> 00:17:43,347 Babe, you're better than pretty good. 449 00:17:43,347 --> 00:17:44,390 You're ferocious. 450 00:17:44,390 --> 00:17:45,808 Sure, I'm ferocious in my head, 451 00:17:45,808 --> 00:17:46,976 where I fight with other people 452 00:17:46,976 --> 00:17:48,561 instead of directly talking to them. 453 00:17:48,561 --> 00:17:50,729 What the hell did Jim do now? 454 00:17:50,729 --> 00:17:54,275 No, no, no. It's... it's about you. 455 00:17:55,497 --> 00:17:56,809 What is it? 456 00:17:57,778 --> 00:17:59,113 You were showing off in yoga. 457 00:17:59,113 --> 00:18:01,323 And... and I didn't know how to react. 458 00:18:01,323 --> 00:18:03,993 And then she got all touchy with you 459 00:18:03,993 --> 00:18:06,912 and called you her warrior and talked about your sword. 460 00:18:06,912 --> 00:18:08,372 And then you were kissing the earth. 461 00:18:08,372 --> 00:18:10,624 And it was embarrassing, and I didn't know how to react. 462 00:18:10,624 --> 00:18:12,334 And then I got really jealous, and I have not been jealous 463 00:18:12,334 --> 00:18:13,836 since I was 16 years old, and it was really, really bad. 464 00:18:13,836 --> 00:18:14,837 I do not wanna be jealous again. 465 00:18:14,837 --> 00:18:15,880 I got really, really jealous 466 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,298 about a boy named Craig Heisner. 467 00:18:17,298 --> 00:18:18,674 And it's really embarrassing that all of these words 468 00:18:18,674 --> 00:18:21,218 are just blurting out of my mouth, so there you go. 469 00:18:25,162 --> 00:18:27,038 I was showing off. 470 00:18:27,975 --> 00:18:30,978 I was showing off for you. 471 00:18:30,978 --> 00:18:33,022 Why were you showing off for me? 472 00:18:33,022 --> 00:18:35,274 I... you don't need to. I adore you. 473 00:18:35,274 --> 00:18:37,943 I couldn't be any more impressed by you. 474 00:18:37,943 --> 00:18:40,112 Yeah, and I wanna keep it that way. 475 00:18:40,112 --> 00:18:42,698 I wanna be enthusiastic about new challenges. 476 00:18:42,698 --> 00:18:45,367 I wanna volunteer more. 477 00:18:45,367 --> 00:18:48,204 I wanna express my affection for you poetically. 478 00:18:51,957 --> 00:18:53,834 You took my wish list out of the trash. 479 00:18:53,834 --> 00:18:56,420 [LAUGHS] 480 00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:58,422 I did. 481 00:18:58,422 --> 00:19:01,717 But your wishes don't belong in the trash. 482 00:19:01,717 --> 00:19:04,261 That's really romantic. 483 00:19:04,261 --> 00:19:05,387 Here comes a hug. 484 00:19:05,387 --> 00:19:07,389 No, stop, stop! No. No. 485 00:19:07,389 --> 00:19:08,516 What? 486 00:19:09,892 --> 00:19:11,352 Hot yoga hurts. 487 00:19:11,352 --> 00:19:14,688 [LAUGHS] Oh, my God. 488 00:19:14,688 --> 00:19:17,316 - [GROANS] - Baby. Aw. 489 00:19:17,316 --> 00:19:20,736 ♪ ♪ 490 00:19:20,736 --> 00:19:22,655 Hey, Kristen. 491 00:19:22,655 --> 00:19:23,864 Jim. 492 00:19:23,864 --> 00:19:25,574 You know, great class yesterday. 493 00:19:25,574 --> 00:19:27,326 Uh, hard class. 494 00:19:27,326 --> 00:19:29,245 Hard... hot, uh... 495 00:19:29,245 --> 00:19:31,580 hard, hot class. 496 00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:36,502 I just... I wanted to apologize for exaggerating, uh... 497 00:19:36,502 --> 00:19:39,630 actually, inventing my yoga credentials. 498 00:19:39,630 --> 00:19:41,757 Um, I'm a divorced dad. 499 00:19:41,757 --> 00:19:43,175 I'm dipping my toe back into dating. 500 00:19:43,175 --> 00:19:45,594 - And I just, uh... - Divorce is brutal. 501 00:19:45,594 --> 00:19:46,971 Yes. But luckily, 502 00:19:46,971 --> 00:19:48,472 my ex and I are on great terms. 503 00:19:48,472 --> 00:19:50,599 She actually came with me to the class 504 00:19:50,599 --> 00:19:52,518 with her fiancé, Trey... 505 00:19:52,518 --> 00:19:55,062 his sword was very straight. 506 00:19:55,062 --> 00:19:56,480 You mean the show-off? 507 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,775 I'm so glad you noticed. 508 00:19:59,775 --> 00:20:02,194 My ex and I kept the family apartment, 509 00:20:02,194 --> 00:20:03,487 and we alternate weeks so that 510 00:20:03,487 --> 00:20:05,030 the kids don't have to move around. 511 00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:07,241 Oh. I grew up with divorced parents 512 00:20:07,241 --> 00:20:09,118 and always hated bouncing back and forth. 513 00:20:09,118 --> 00:20:10,536 It's good you're putting your kids first. 514 00:20:10,536 --> 00:20:13,956 Very unselfish. That's some life yoga there. 515 00:20:13,956 --> 00:20:15,458 Sat nam. 516 00:20:15,458 --> 00:20:16,584 Sat nam! 517 00:20:20,421 --> 00:20:22,298 Um... 518 00:20:22,298 --> 00:20:24,800 hey, uh, you think maybe we could get a... 519 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,011 a cup of something... not coffee. 520 00:20:27,011 --> 00:20:29,346 Maybe a tea or smoothie? 521 00:20:29,346 --> 00:20:30,389 Boba? 522 00:20:30,389 --> 00:20:33,225 Well, I'd kill for a cup of coffee. 523 00:20:33,225 --> 00:20:34,935 You said you don't drink coffee. 524 00:20:34,935 --> 00:20:36,270 I lied. 525 00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:38,314 Oh, great. We have something in common. 526 00:20:38,314 --> 00:20:39,398 [LAUGHS] 527 00:20:39,398 --> 00:20:42,401 ♪ ♪ 528 00:20:42,401 --> 00:20:47,531 And exhaling as you squeeze your legs into your chest. 529 00:20:47,531 --> 00:20:49,825 This pose is called pavanamuktasana, 530 00:20:49,825 --> 00:20:52,703 or wind-relieving pose. 531 00:20:52,703 --> 00:20:55,790 And just to relieve anyone of any embarrassment, 532 00:20:55,790 --> 00:20:58,834 I wanna say that if you find some wind being released, 533 00:20:58,834 --> 00:21:01,295 then you're doing it right. 534 00:21:01,295 --> 00:21:03,964 Wait, we're supposed to fart? 535 00:21:06,050 --> 00:21:09,303 Well, don't go out of your way, but... 536 00:21:09,303 --> 00:21:10,387 Yoga. 537 00:21:10,387 --> 00:21:12,515 Where have you been my whole life? 538 00:21:12,515 --> 00:21:17,353 ♪ ♪ 539 00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:22,509 - Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com - 37627

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.