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1
00:00:01,209 --> 00:00:04,295
[Theme - Jack Jones, "love
boat"]
2
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:18,143
Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.
3
00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:18,268
Come aboard.
4
00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:26,443
We're expecting you.
5
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:34,451
And love, life's
sweetest reward.
6
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:35,535
Let it flow.
7
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:42,542
It floats back to you.
8
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:50,091
The love boat soon will
be making another run.
9
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:58,391
The love boat promises
something for everyone.
10
00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:03,396
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.
11
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:13,990
And love won't hurt anymore.
12
00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:22,832
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
13
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:23,875
It's love.
14
00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:28,421
Welcome aboard.
15
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,173
It's love.
16
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,460
Excuse me, can you
direct me to my cabin?
17
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,045
Of course, captain Tobin.
18
00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:09,879
Let's see.
19
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,549
You're on the aloha
deck, cabin 137.
20
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:16,094
That's through the lobby, up
the stairs, and to the right.
21
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:17,554
On furlough, captain?
22
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,013
Haven't you heard?
23
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,765
We're invading Mexico.
24
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,392
Funny.
25
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,310
Julie: This is purser
Smith, and I'm Julie
26
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:25,562
McCoy, your cruise director.
27
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:27,480
If there's anything you
need, just let me know.
28
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,566
There's nothing you
can do, Ms. McCoy.
29
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:33,361
I've been stationed in the
arctic circle for six months.
30
00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:33,486
I need a man.
31
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:46,666
Can you imagine not
seeing a man for six months?
32
00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:47,625
I could go a year.
33
00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:51,796
Hi.
34
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,381
I'm Fred Peters.
35
00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:54,507
This is my wife, Louise.
36
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,508
- How do you do?
- Hello.
37
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:56,384
How do you do?
38
00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:57,343
Hello.
39
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,053
Has an art Fuller boarded yet?
40
00:02:59,137 --> 00:02:59,762
Art Fuller?
41
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,430
Uh, let's see.
42
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,349
Art Fuller-- no, not yet.
43
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,101
Oh dear.
44
00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:05,727
I hope he's all right.
45
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:06,769
Don't worry so much.
46
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,022
He'll pull through this.
47
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,940
There some sort of
problem we can help with?
48
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,026
Oh, not really.
49
00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:14,527
Art's just getting
over a divorce.
50
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:16,613
Oh.
51
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,114
Well, we'll go out of our
way to make him happy.
52
00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:19,032
That's what we're here for.
53
00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,450
Oh, thank you.
54
00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:24,037
We're hoping the trip
will perk him up.
55
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,246
I think he's already perked.
56
00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:40,261
Louise, Fred,
meet Patti Samuels.
57
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,512
(Muttering) How do you do?
58
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:44,974
Uh, Patti and I have been
together since last month.
59
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,980
Well, uh, last month
was a much better
60
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,899
month than I thought it was.
61
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:56,945
Uh, Mr. Fuller, you two
are in 354 aloha deck.
62
00:03:57,028 --> 00:04:00,907
And Mr. and Mrs. Peters,
you're right next door in 356.
63
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:01,491
Come on, Artie.
64
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:02,742
Let's go to our cabin.
65
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:04,369
Oh, I'm all yours, patticakes.
66
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,165
With a view like
that, I always try
67
00:04:09,248 --> 00:04:11,000
to get her to walk ahead of me.
68
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,710
Wow.
69
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:16,214
Mrs. Dolan, you
are in 484, fiesta.
70
00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:17,090
484 is no fiesta.
71
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:19,592
484 is breaking and entering.
72
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:23,388
Ugh, Edgar, not everyone
appreciates police humor.
73
00:04:23,471 --> 00:04:24,180
Oh.
74
00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:25,264
Ok.
75
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,475
Hey, you, lady,
right there, hold it.
76
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:28,226
Give me that wallet.
77
00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:29,644
- Give that back to me.
- Edgar!
78
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:30,895
Listen, I saw you
from over there.
79
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,064
Mr. Dolan, Mr. Dolan,
what's the problem here?
80
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:34,190
He's the problem.
81
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,734
This woman was stealing
this man's wallet.
82
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:40,863
This man happens
to be my husband.
83
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:41,864
Look, from where
I was standing,
84
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,032
all I could see was the wallet--
85
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,535
well, it's obviously just
a slight misunderstanding.
86
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,829
I'm very sorry about
the inconvenience.
87
00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:49,038
Please accept the apologies.
Please?
88
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,248
- All right.
- Terribly sorry.
89
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:50,999
Come on, Gill.
90
00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:52,083
Natural mistake.
91
00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:54,127
And I want to
apologize for Edgar.
92
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:57,547
Now, Florence, don't
apologize for me.
93
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,841
The fact that he's her
husband doesn't mean that she
94
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:02,719
wasn't stealing his wallet.
95
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,429
He's retired from
the police force,
96
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:07,932
and sometimes he confuses
relax and enjoy with search
97
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,976
and destroy.
98
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:12,395
Come on, before you get a ticket
for double parking your brain.
99
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:13,146
Edgar Dolan: Oh, hey.
100
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:13,980
Florence Dolan: Come on.
101
00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:18,484
Guess who?
102
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:19,902
Oh, give me a hint.
103
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,237
It's not the mormon
tabernacle choir.
104
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:24,198
Then it must be
Alan braithwaite!
105
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:25,491
The girl is uncanny.
106
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,576
[Laughing]
107
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:28,369
Alan, it's so good to see you.
108
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:29,996
I'd like you to meet my
father, captain stubing.
109
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:30,747
Hello, Alan.
110
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,123
Pleased to meet you, captain.
111
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:33,666
Your daughter was
everybody's favorite person
112
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:34,709
at camp last summer.
113
00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:36,711
Alan was my fan
club president.
114
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,672
Vicki, I thought I was.
115
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,174
Alan, I'm anxious to
see your parents again.
116
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,134
Oh no, not this trip, Vicki.
117
00:05:43,217 --> 00:05:44,677
They couldn't make it.
118
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,262
Dad got a last
minute assignment,
119
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,430
so I talked him into coming
on the trip by myself.
120
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:50,391
Alan's father is in
the diplomatic corps.
121
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,268
Alan's grown up
all over the world.
122
00:05:52,351 --> 00:05:54,937
Your parents must have a
lot of confidence in you.
123
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,106
That's because i'm
so mature and adult.
124
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,441
And I threatened not
to eat for a week.
125
00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,358
[Laughing]
126
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,568
I was just kidding.
127
00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:02,111
Well, I think we're
ready to get under way.
128
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,988
It's nice meeting you, Alan.
129
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,615
You too, captain.
130
00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:07,075
Oh, Vicki, I've
been looking forward
131
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,035
to this ever since the last
time we saw each other.
132
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:09,786
Me too.
133
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,788
You were my best friend at camp.
134
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,122
Yeah.
135
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,082
Well, I was hoping we
could become more than just
136
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,125
friends on this cruise.
137
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:23,424
[Horn blaring]
138
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:20,690
12, 13, 14.
139
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,525
Say, that Patti's
quite a girl.
140
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:25,862
36, 22, 34.
141
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,822
What?
142
00:07:27,905 --> 00:07:30,408
Those are her measurements.
143
00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:34,412
You've got to work that
off, that stomach, buddy.
144
00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:34,745
What stomach?
145
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,497
Louise!
146
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:38,207
Hi, guys.
147
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,209
You look great.
148
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,252
You think so?
149
00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:42,003
Oh.
150
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:43,171
[Giggling]
151
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,797
Hello, sun worshipers.
152
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,216
Hi, patticakes.
153
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,468
Louise, that's a
really nice outfit.
154
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,346
Well, thank you, Patti.
155
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,308
You don't think it's
too revealing, do you?
156
00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:57,768
Oh, no, not at all.
157
00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:12,575
Patti's doctor went crazy
trying to vaccinate her
158
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,368
in a place that wouldn't show.
159
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:15,745
[Chuckling]
160
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,174
[Knocking]
161
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,426
Captain Tobin: Who is it?
162
00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:31,010
It's purser Smith, ma'am.
163
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:34,764
Come in, purser.
164
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,432
Hi.
165
00:08:36,515 --> 00:08:38,935
This message says you have
some questions about exchanging
166
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,144
dollars into pesos.
167
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:43,356
Could you just close the
door, please, purser Smith?
168
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:44,690
Sure.
169
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,818
Now, captain, what can I tell
you about the rate of exchange?
170
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:50,655
What's your first
name, purser Smith?
171
00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:55,576
Uh, well, ma'am, it's burl,
but my friends call me gopher.
172
00:08:55,660 --> 00:09:06,545
Well, I'd like you to consider
me a friend, gopher when
173
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:10,424
we met at the boarding,
I just couldn't
174
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,802
get over your brown eyes.
175
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:16,681
You couldn't?
176
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:17,473
Mm-mm.
177
00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:22,520
Well, thank you, captain.
178
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:23,771
I find you very attractive.
179
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,444
You know, about the
dollar and the peso--
180
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:37,118
I'd rather talk
about you and me.
181
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:38,953
I just remembered,
captain, I have
182
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,413
to check in with my captain.
183
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,248
So, uh, excuse me.
184
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:47,670
Aye!
185
00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:51,382
I did mention, didn't
i, that I haven't
186
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:55,636
seen a man in six months?
187
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,389
I know I don't look my age,
but I'm actually 14 years old.
188
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:03,019
Oh, well, I guess
we're just going to have
189
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:08,649
to wait here until you grow up.
190
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:29,587
Oh, Edgar, isn't
this marvelous,
191
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:33,466
breathing in fresh sea air
under glorious blue skies
192
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:36,177
without a care in the world?
193
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,304
Well, like they say in
the station house, flo,
194
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,389
it's a dirty job, but
somebody's got to do it.
195
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:42,099
[Laughing]
196
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,434
Uh-oh.
197
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,061
No cheating, now.
198
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,020
Wise guy.
199
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,483
Get a load of that guy.
200
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:53,569
I could teach him how to win
in solitaire in two minutes.
201
00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:55,029
Same old Alan.
202
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:56,113
So how's boarding school been?
203
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:58,532
It's tough.
204
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,117
It's tough going to
bed when I want to
205
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:03,704
and partying at all hours,
but I manage somehow.
206
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:07,166
Yeah, well, you never
manage to write me very often.
207
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:08,084
But I do think about you.
208
00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:16,592
[French] Mademoiselle stubing.
209
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:18,594
For me?
210
00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:21,764
Oh, Alan, it's beautiful.
211
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,308
But mademoiselle,
the face on the watch,
212
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:28,229
she's not so beautiful
as the face on the girl.
213
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:32,274
Alan, thank you.
214
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,527
I love it, but
it's so expensive.
215
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,320
Oh, when it comes
to money, the French,
216
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:39,448
they have a marvelous
expression--
217
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,908
but I don't know what it is.
218
00:11:40,991 --> 00:11:42,243
[Giggling]
219
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:44,370
Thank you, Evan.
220
00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:50,376
Isaac, have you seen gopher?
221
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,545
Well, now that you
mention it, no, I haven't.
222
00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:54,630
Well, there are people
lined up at his purser's desk.
223
00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:56,298
And I'm doing everything
I can, but it's
224
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,967
just too much to handle alone.
225
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,510
You know, if he's
goofing off, the captain
226
00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:00,719
is going to have his head.
227
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,055
Wait till you see what I
do with what's left of him.
228
00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:15,526
Crew (over loudspeaker):
Will purser Smith please
229
00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:18,237
report to the purser's desk?
230
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,280
Captain Tobin: Aw, gopher.
231
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:21,490
Gopher: Aw, bernice, I
gotta go back to work.
232
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,283
They need me.
233
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,997
I need you too, gopher--
234
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,748
more than they do.
235
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,167
Crew (over loudspeaker): Purser
Smith to the purser's desk
236
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,419
immediately.
237
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:34,795
Bernice, I've got to call
them or I am in big trouble.
238
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:41,844
Aye!
239
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,141
I can call them later.
240
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:51,979
Julie (over loudspeaker):
Ladies and gentlemen,
241
00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:54,523
main seating dinner
is now being served
242
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,524
in the coral dining room.
243
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,985
We wish you buon appetito.
244
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:07,495
Ooh, honey, you look terrific.
245
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,246
You really think so?
246
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,372
Yes.
247
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,333
Would you care to
join me for dinner?
248
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:17,546
Where'd you get the watch?
249
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:18,589
Oh, isn't it beautiful?
250
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:19,089
Alan gave it to me.
251
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:22,259
Oh.
252
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:24,136
Yes, it's very attractive.
253
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,888
But--
254
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,765
uh-oh.
255
00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:31,477
You have something very fatherly
to say to me, don't you?
256
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:35,439
It's too expensive, Vicki.
257
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:38,359
You don't know him well
enough to accept it.
258
00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:41,070
I know, but I don't want
to hurt Alan's feelings.
259
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:44,490
I'm sorry, honey.
260
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:44,823
Tell him it's your
father's wishes.
261
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:55,417
Is this one of those
things I'm going to thank
262
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:58,837
you for in the long run?
263
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,464
I doubt it.
264
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:01,257
Come on.
265
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,616
Mm.
266
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:31,328
This fettuccine is fantastico.
267
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:32,204
Here, try some.
268
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:40,129
Mm, great!
269
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:41,797
Try some of my scampi.
270
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:42,590
Hm?
271
00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:49,555
Not hungry?
272
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:50,598
We just eat a salad.
273
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,099
We have to watch what we eat.
274
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,184
Me too.
275
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,145
I watch it go right
from here to here.
276
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:57,896
[Laughing]
277
00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:58,772
Stop.
278
00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:02,443
I don't see how
you can eat all that
279
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:07,031
and still stay in
such good shape.
280
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:10,576
Exercise is the key.
281
00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:15,205
There isn't enough time in the
day to exercise all that off.
282
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:17,625
Looks like we're going have to
go into overtime again tonight.
283
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,799
She's a cute little
thing, isn't she?
284
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:28,469
Oh, shut up and
gum your Greens.
285
00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:39,772
Edgar, see that boy?
286
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:41,023
Yup.
287
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:45,027
Don't you think he looks a
lot like ned did at his age?
288
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:48,530
Yeah, a little.
289
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,575
Ned would have
been 25 this week.
290
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:56,413
I know, Florence.
291
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:00,167
I miss him, too.
292
00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:07,591
He looks a lot like ned.
293
00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:11,887
Ooh, I'm sorry.
294
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:18,727
Evening.
- Hello.
295
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:19,186
Evening.
296
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:25,526
He even walks like ned.
297
00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:26,110
Yeah.
298
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:27,194
Ned wasn't so clumsy.
299
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:31,740
Hello.
300
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,827
Alan-- Vicki's been
telling us all about you.
301
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:37,454
It sounds like you're
a remarkable young man.
302
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:40,374
Well, she's just
telling it like it is.
303
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:41,750
A world traveler at 16?
304
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,753
And fluent in four languages.
305
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:48,006
Five, if you count body.
306
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,842
So what time is it, Vicki?
307
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:52,469
Later, Alan.
308
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,347
Julie, where's gopher?
309
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:57,599
He must be very busy, sir.
310
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,101
That's possible.
311
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:00,853
I've heard him being
paged for hours.
312
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:05,441
But I haven't seen
him since we sailed.
313
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:08,652
Has any of you?
314
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,738
Uh, well, yes, sir.
315
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,406
I've seen him, sort of.
316
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:14,491
Sort of?
317
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:18,162
Well, it's like this.
318
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:20,497
We can't find him anywhere.
319
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,124
Have you tried his office?
320
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:23,333
I know that's the last place
you'd expect to look for him.
321
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:25,294
Yes, sir.
322
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:28,213
We have looked there,
and he's not there.
323
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:31,842
Actually, we're starting
to get pretty worried.
324
00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:33,385
Then after you
finish your dinner,
325
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,053
organize a thorough search.
326
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:35,179
Yes, sir.
327
00:17:56,909 --> 00:18:00,287
[Slow jazz music]
328
00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:08,587
Fred, Patti makes me
feel like a kid again.
329
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,714
She gives me
something to live for.
330
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:13,926
Louise gives me
something to live for, too-
331
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:16,345
mortgage payment.
332
00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,722
Do you and Fred go on
these cruises very often?
333
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:21,475
Oh, he rarely
takes me anywhere.
334
00:18:21,558 --> 00:18:23,268
His idea of a good
vacation is to stay
335
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,020
home and let his mind wander.
336
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,358
Come on, Artie.
337
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:30,859
One, two, me and you.
338
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,862
Three, four, on the floor.
339
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:41,328
Five, six, we're
a couple of sticks.
340
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:47,876
So what happened to the watch?
341
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,044
I'll have to give
it back to you.
342
00:18:49,127 --> 00:18:51,713
My father won't
let me accept it.
343
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,048
Why not?
344
00:18:53,131 --> 00:18:55,509
It's too expensive.
345
00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:56,635
Too expensive, huh?
346
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:58,512
Oh, don't feel bad, Alan.
347
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:01,598
Oh, I don't feel bad, as
long as I can dance with you.
348
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,479
Not bad, old timer.
349
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,731
Isn't he cute?
350
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,567
Yeah, cute.
351
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,536
Crew (over loudspeaker):
Purser Smith,
352
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:25,914
please report to the
captain's office at once.
353
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:29,418
Purser Smith, report to the
captain's office immediately.
354
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:30,335
I don't understand.
355
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:31,920
It's like gopher's
just disappeared.
356
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,423
We searched the
entire ship for him.
357
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:35,048
Maybe you just
think you searched
358
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,800
the entire ship for him.
359
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:37,551
Hey, Mike, cover for me.
360
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,261
Come on.
361
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:40,220
Let's go find him.
362
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,105
Look, Vicki.
363
00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:51,732
I know your father didn't
let you keep the watch.
364
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:54,067
But if at first
you don't succeed--
365
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,944
ta-da.
366
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,780
Think he'll mind this?
367
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:01,074
Sapphires!
368
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:02,784
Well, that's my birthstone!
369
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,247
But I can't keep it.
370
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,374
My dad won't let me.
371
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,042
It's too expensive.
372
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:11,793
Oh, but I didn't buy it.
373
00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:14,296
My grandmother gave it to me.
374
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:15,714
That doesn't matter, Alan.
375
00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:19,384
All right.
376
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:20,844
Ok.
377
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,304
In that case, I'm just going
to have to give you something
378
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:23,680
that your father
can't make you return.
379
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,606
That's something
I'd like to return.
380
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:43,492
[Slow music]
381
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:55,963
Oh, dancing close like
this is so wonderful.
382
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,673
Are you feeling romantic yet?
383
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,383
I can't tell.
384
00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:00,884
I'm still trying to follow.
385
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:04,930
Well, then, you lead, dear.
386
00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:05,889
[Cracking]
387
00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:07,516
Oh!
388
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:08,517
Oh, you are feeling something.
389
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:09,434
Yeah.
390
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:12,354
I think it was a cracked rib.
391
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:15,190
You need another drink
to put you in the mood.
392
00:21:15,273 --> 00:21:17,109
No, wine makes me sleepy.
393
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:17,859
Good.
394
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:19,820
Then it'll be beddy-bye time.
395
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:26,618
Aye!
396
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:32,374
Here you go.
397
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:33,667
I don't want a drink.
I don't want a drink.
398
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:33,792
- Drink!
- Cheers.
399
00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:55,355
[Snoring]
400
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:10,245
Fred-- Fred?
401
00:22:10,328 --> 00:22:12,164
Come to bed.
402
00:22:12,247 --> 00:22:14,541
Louise, did you hear that?
403
00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:17,169
Hear what?
404
00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:19,546
Art and Patti are giggling.
405
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,885
So what if they're giggling?
406
00:22:24,968 --> 00:22:27,095
You know what comes
after giggling, don't you?
407
00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:32,976
Fred, if you'd stop
worrying about what's
408
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:37,105
going on next door,
you might find out
409
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:41,651
there's a lot more fun here.
410
00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:43,028
They've stopped giggling.
411
00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:47,741
Listen.
412
00:22:47,824 --> 00:22:50,786
Since you're so happy over
here, why don't you just
413
00:22:50,869 --> 00:22:53,038
sleep over here!
414
00:22:59,377 --> 00:23:00,837
They started giggling again.
415
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:16,311
Going back to
stash your loot, huh?
416
00:23:16,394 --> 00:23:17,104
Excuse me?
417
00:23:17,187 --> 00:23:17,813
Get inside.
418
00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:18,647
What's going on?
419
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:20,315
Come on.
420
00:23:20,398 --> 00:23:21,108
What are you doing?
421
00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:22,818
This is my cabin.
422
00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:23,735
You've been having yourself
a picnic, haven't you?
423
00:23:23,819 --> 00:23:25,487
What?
424
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:26,071
We'll see now.
425
00:23:26,154 --> 00:23:28,156
Hey, those are mine.
426
00:23:30,659 --> 00:23:34,663
Not exactly the crown jewels,
but not bad for a rookie.
427
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:36,790
Listen, I don't know
what you're talking about.
428
00:23:36,873 --> 00:23:39,292
I'm talking about jail.
429
00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:41,670
Jail?
430
00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:43,672
I've been watching you, kid--
431
00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:45,882
watching your act
in the dining room--
432
00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:47,884
strictly amateur-hour stuff.
433
00:23:47,968 --> 00:23:49,845
I'm going to see that
they fix you for good.
434
00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:54,724
I promise I'll
never do it again.
435
00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:56,184
I'll take back
everything I took.
436
00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:58,937
But don't turn me in, please.
437
00:23:59,020 --> 00:23:59,771
Why shouldn't I?
438
00:24:01,898 --> 00:24:06,069
This is the first time I've
ever done anything like this.
439
00:24:06,153 --> 00:24:09,489
I'm not a thief.
440
00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:12,492
Please, I'm just a kid.
441
00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:14,870
Give me another chance.
442
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:16,454
I don't know.
443
00:24:16,538 --> 00:24:17,831
[Sniffling]
444
00:24:21,084 --> 00:24:21,793
Please?
445
00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:31,219
All right.
446
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:35,557
You're lucky, because my wife
thinks you look like somebody.
447
00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:49,779
No sign of gopher, merrill.
448
00:24:49,863 --> 00:24:50,739
Oh, I can't believe it.
449
00:24:50,822 --> 00:24:53,158
We've looked
everywhere, sir-- nothing.
450
00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:55,827
Julie, are you sure you
saw gopher after we sailed?
451
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:56,828
I'm positive, sir.
452
00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:59,039
Well, if he sailed
with us, where is he?
453
00:24:59,122 --> 00:25:00,540
You don't think
it's possible--
454
00:25:07,797 --> 00:25:08,506
Impossible.
455
00:25:21,770 --> 00:25:24,147
Julie (over loudspeaker):
Ladies and gentlemen,
456
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,232
we are now arriving
in fabulous acapulco,
457
00:25:25,315 --> 00:25:28,526
the glamorous jet-set resort.
458
00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:29,694
From the la quebrada
cliff divers
459
00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:32,697
to the white Sandy beaches,
adventure awaits you.
460
00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:55,637
Will purser Smith please report
to the captain immediately?
461
00:26:21,830 --> 00:26:22,539
Captain Tobin: Aye!
462
00:26:22,622 --> 00:26:23,331
Ah!
463
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:27,502
It's an old party
trick, gopher.
464
00:26:27,585 --> 00:26:29,796
Does this mean I
win a purple heart?
465
00:26:29,879 --> 00:26:32,674
You've already got
my heart, gopher.
466
00:26:32,757 --> 00:26:35,593
I ordered you some breakfast.
467
00:26:47,439 --> 00:26:50,775
Here you go.
468
00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:51,901
Oh, food.
469
00:26:51,985 --> 00:26:52,777
It's about time.
470
00:26:52,861 --> 00:26:52,902
I'm starving.
471
00:26:56,740 --> 00:27:05,540
Grapes, figs, oysters, olives,
dates, pistachio nuts--
472
00:27:05,623 --> 00:27:08,126
all known aphrodisiacs.
473
00:27:08,209 --> 00:27:11,504
They'll fill you with desire.
474
00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:14,758
So it's either
starvation or violation.
475
00:27:19,346 --> 00:27:20,764
I'll take my chances.
476
00:27:31,649 --> 00:27:33,651
Are we going into town or not?
477
00:27:33,735 --> 00:27:35,362
No, I'm too tired.
478
00:27:35,445 --> 00:27:36,571
I didn't sleep well last night.
479
00:27:36,654 --> 00:27:38,490
It's a little
hard to sleep when
480
00:27:38,573 --> 00:27:41,117
you're leaning against a wall.
481
00:27:41,201 --> 00:27:43,828
Lay off, Louise.
482
00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:46,122
Let's just sit around the pool.
483
00:27:46,206 --> 00:27:47,248
Why?
484
00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:50,251
So you can see Patti
in her new bikini?
485
00:27:50,335 --> 00:27:51,169
She's got a new one?
486
00:27:51,252 --> 00:27:51,961
Ugh.
487
00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:57,550
But you promised
you'd take me into town.
488
00:27:57,634 --> 00:28:02,430
Can't we just take
a nap on the deck?
489
00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,682
I've never seen acapulco.
490
00:28:04,766 --> 00:28:08,019
We could go parasailing
or scuba diving.
491
00:28:08,103 --> 00:28:10,271
Well, it's up to
Fred and Louise.
492
00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:13,858
Oh, uh-uh.
493
00:28:13,942 --> 00:28:16,736
Fred had an earache last night.
494
00:28:16,820 --> 00:28:17,570
We didn't get much sleep.
495
00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:20,573
Now you're all
pooping out on me.
496
00:28:20,657 --> 00:28:22,575
I may never get to Mexico again.
497
00:28:22,659 --> 00:28:24,994
On second thought,
I'll take you.
498
00:28:28,665 --> 00:28:31,167
I'll bring you back a souvenir--
499
00:28:31,251 --> 00:28:33,253
a little wooden monkey.
500
00:28:39,759 --> 00:28:40,135
Hi.
501
00:28:40,218 --> 00:28:41,970
Hiya, gorgeous.
502
00:28:42,053 --> 00:28:43,513
We're still on for
acapulco, aren't we?
503
00:28:43,596 --> 00:28:44,973
Well, that's what
I came to tell you--
504
00:28:45,056 --> 00:28:47,183
I can't, not until
we find gopher.
505
00:28:47,267 --> 00:28:48,435
But I'll see you later.
506
00:28:48,518 --> 00:28:49,227
Sure.
507
00:28:56,818 --> 00:28:59,237
I see you've got a great
appetite this morning.
508
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:00,947
Why not?
509
00:29:01,030 --> 00:29:01,739
I'm a growing boy.
510
00:29:01,823 --> 00:29:04,492
Yeah.
511
00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:08,329
Growing out of some of
your bad habits, I hope.
512
00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:09,873
Is that all?
513
00:29:09,956 --> 00:29:13,543
Or am I going to have to listen
to a whole series of lectures?
514
00:29:13,626 --> 00:29:17,130
Getting pretty cocky again.
515
00:29:17,213 --> 00:29:20,049
It's a big jump from
last night's teary scene.
516
00:29:20,133 --> 00:29:22,552
So?
517
00:29:22,635 --> 00:29:26,181
Look, I could
still turn you in.
518
00:29:26,264 --> 00:29:28,600
Aw, I don't think so.
519
00:29:28,683 --> 00:29:32,187
Now that you have the stuff,
it's your word against mine.
520
00:29:32,270 --> 00:29:32,979
Bye.
521
00:29:47,911 --> 00:29:48,536
Anything?
522
00:29:48,620 --> 00:29:49,370
No, sir.
523
00:29:49,454 --> 00:29:50,538
No.
524
00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:51,247
Well, I hate to disturb
all the passengers,
525
00:29:51,331 --> 00:29:53,500
but I have no choice.
526
00:29:53,583 --> 00:29:54,709
Search every cabin?
527
00:29:54,792 --> 00:29:55,877
Exactly.
528
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,587
And get every available
member of the crew to help.
529
00:29:57,670 --> 00:30:00,006
I want this ship
turned inside out.
530
00:30:00,089 --> 00:30:00,757
Yes, sir.
531
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:01,549
Ok.
532
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:11,935
Julie (over loudspeaker):
Ladies and gentlemen,
533
00:30:12,018 --> 00:30:13,895
our ship's crew will be
making a brief inspection
534
00:30:13,978 --> 00:30:15,313
of your cabins.
535
00:30:15,396 --> 00:30:18,149
Please excuse any
inconvenience this may cause.
536
00:30:18,233 --> 00:30:22,403
Will gopher Smith please report
to the captain's office right
537
00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:23,196
now?
538
00:30:56,688 --> 00:30:59,732
Mr. Burns: Honey, is that you?
539
00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:01,192
Hey, what are you doing in here?
540
00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:01,901
Uh, I'm sorry.
541
00:31:01,985 --> 00:31:03,444
I must have the wrong room.
542
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:04,654
I--
543
00:31:04,737 --> 00:31:06,906
yeah, and you also
got the wrong pin, too.
544
00:31:06,990 --> 00:31:08,491
Stay right where you are, fella.
545
00:31:08,575 --> 00:31:09,617
Don't try anything funny.
546
00:31:13,830 --> 00:31:17,250
Yeah, this Mr. Burns
in promenade 337.
547
00:31:17,333 --> 00:31:18,793
Can you send some
help right up here?
548
00:31:18,876 --> 00:31:21,838
I just caught a
thief in my cabin.
549
00:31:21,921 --> 00:31:23,172
Julie (over loudspeaker):
Purser Smith,
550
00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:26,134
please report to the
captain's office immediately.
551
00:31:26,217 --> 00:31:28,469
Gopher, this is urgent!
552
00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:30,388
No, no, no, sir, nothing
to be alarmed about.
553
00:31:30,471 --> 00:31:32,724
Just a routine inspection
of all the cabins.
554
00:31:32,807 --> 00:31:33,516
Thank you.
555
00:31:37,478 --> 00:31:38,062
[Knocking]
556
00:31:42,609 --> 00:31:43,318
Hi.
557
00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:44,652
Hi.
558
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:46,362
I'm sorry to disturb you,
but I have orders to check
559
00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:47,447
all the cabins on this deck.
560
00:31:47,530 --> 00:31:49,324
What's the trouble?
561
00:31:49,407 --> 00:31:51,034
Uh, no trouble.
562
00:31:51,117 --> 00:31:53,119
May I just check your
bathroom, please?
563
00:31:53,202 --> 00:31:54,871
Is something wrong
with my bathroom?
564
00:31:54,954 --> 00:31:55,580
No, no.
565
00:31:55,663 --> 00:31:56,414
Just looking.
566
00:32:09,719 --> 00:32:12,013
I'm sorry to have bothered you.
567
00:32:12,096 --> 00:32:13,306
Oh.
568
00:32:13,389 --> 00:32:15,016
Listen, while you're here, would
you mind taking this for me?
569
00:32:15,099 --> 00:32:15,350
Oh sure, no problem.
570
00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:17,018
Thanks.
571
00:32:17,101 --> 00:32:17,977
Sure.
572
00:32:18,061 --> 00:32:22,023
By the way, what
are you looking for?
573
00:32:22,106 --> 00:32:23,524
It's not a what.
574
00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:24,400
It's a who.
575
00:32:41,626 --> 00:32:44,379
It's safe to come
out of the closet now.
576
00:32:44,462 --> 00:32:48,132
I think it's safer in here.
577
00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:50,385
Florence Dolan: I don't
understand it, captain.
578
00:32:50,468 --> 00:32:52,428
I knew retirement
would be hard on Edgar,
579
00:32:52,512 --> 00:32:56,349
but I cannot believe that he
would do something like this.
580
00:32:56,432 --> 00:32:58,476
Oh, quit your yapping,
will you, Florence?
581
00:32:58,559 --> 00:33:01,688
This is a serious matter.
582
00:33:01,771 --> 00:33:03,189
If you can't explain
your actions,
583
00:33:03,272 --> 00:33:04,649
I'll have to report
you to the police
584
00:33:04,732 --> 00:33:06,109
when we return to San Pedro.
585
00:33:06,192 --> 00:33:09,946
Captain, it must be some
sort of a mental breakdown.
586
00:33:10,029 --> 00:33:13,533
I-- I promise, I'll
have him see a doctor
587
00:33:13,616 --> 00:33:14,909
just as soon as we get home.
588
00:33:14,992 --> 00:33:16,744
Florence, why don't
you go out on deck?
589
00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:20,164
Captain and I will
talk about this.
590
00:33:20,248 --> 00:33:20,289
All right, dear.
591
00:33:27,964 --> 00:33:29,340
So let's get on
with it, captain.
592
00:33:38,057 --> 00:33:41,144
I forgot how much fun
riding a motorcycle was.
593
00:33:41,227 --> 00:33:46,107
If you had any more fun
you'd be one big band-aid.
594
00:33:46,190 --> 00:33:49,360
How was I supposed to know
that an "una sola direccion"
595
00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:51,320
meant one-way street?
596
00:33:51,404 --> 00:33:52,697
Fred was so cute.
597
00:33:52,780 --> 00:33:56,117
He did a wheelie right
through a mariachi band.
598
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,619
And then he took me
to a wonderful lunch
599
00:33:58,703 --> 00:34:00,496
at a cute little cafe.
600
00:34:00,580 --> 00:34:03,416
We really had fun,
didn't we, Freddy?
601
00:34:03,499 --> 00:34:04,083
You're a real sport, Freddy.
602
00:34:07,044 --> 00:34:12,592
I hope you weren't too
bored while I was away.
603
00:34:12,675 --> 00:34:15,178
Not at all.
604
00:34:15,261 --> 00:34:19,056
We had a marvelous day.
605
00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:19,390
Didn't we, Artie?
606
00:34:19,474 --> 00:34:20,183
Artie--
607
00:34:30,902 --> 00:34:31,611
Vicki, hey.
608
00:34:31,694 --> 00:34:32,987
Where you going?
609
00:34:33,070 --> 00:34:34,906
I was hoping you'd be
spending your time with me.
610
00:34:34,989 --> 00:34:35,782
I'm sorry, Alan.
611
00:34:35,865 --> 00:34:38,409
This has been a
really weird cruise.
612
00:34:38,493 --> 00:34:39,786
What's wrong?
613
00:34:39,869 --> 00:34:41,621
Not only is gopher
still missing,
614
00:34:41,704 --> 00:34:43,790
but now there's this
business with Mr. Dolan.
615
00:34:43,873 --> 00:34:45,792
What about Mr. Dolan?
616
00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:46,834
Well, haven't you heard?
617
00:34:46,918 --> 00:34:50,338
He was caught stealing
jewelry this morning.
618
00:34:50,421 --> 00:34:50,880
He was?
619
00:34:50,963 --> 00:34:52,507
Can you believe it?
620
00:34:52,590 --> 00:34:54,509
He seemed like such a nice man.
621
00:34:54,592 --> 00:34:55,843
Yeah.
622
00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:58,554
Well, I guess you can't
trust anybody these days.
623
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:10,316
Julie (over loudspeaker):
Ladies and gentlemen,
624
00:35:10,399 --> 00:35:13,194
light up your nightlife
in exciting acapulco.
625
00:35:13,277 --> 00:35:16,030
Delicious food and glittering
discotheques await you.
626
00:35:16,114 --> 00:35:17,657
Buen tiempo.
627
00:35:17,740 --> 00:35:20,326
[Upbeat dance music]
628
00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:39,095
Isn't anybody going to talk?
629
00:35:39,178 --> 00:35:39,971
Weren't we talking?
630
00:35:40,054 --> 00:35:42,223
Oh, well, I didn't notice.
631
00:35:42,306 --> 00:35:44,725
Louise, you could have
come with us to acapulco.
632
00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:48,062
I wasn't asked.
633
00:35:48,145 --> 00:35:50,273
Nobody asked me, either--
634
00:35:50,356 --> 00:35:51,899
until Freddy.
635
00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:52,984
Until Freddy.
636
00:35:55,736 --> 00:35:57,071
You got your trip.
637
00:35:57,154 --> 00:35:58,948
And who knows what you got?
638
00:35:59,031 --> 00:36:00,908
Watch it, Freddy.
639
00:36:00,992 --> 00:36:03,911
All I did was sit
and read my book.
640
00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:05,580
And what did Artie do?
641
00:36:05,663 --> 00:36:07,248
Turn the pages for you?
642
00:36:07,331 --> 00:36:08,249
Hey, Freddy.
643
00:36:08,332 --> 00:36:10,251
Don't try to blame it all on me.
644
00:36:10,334 --> 00:36:11,502
Yeah?
645
00:36:11,586 --> 00:36:14,046
Well, Patti and I were just
having some innocent fun.
646
00:36:14,130 --> 00:36:17,216
All I wanted to
do was see acapulco.
647
00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:18,801
All I wanted to do was relax.
648
00:36:18,885 --> 00:36:21,554
I just tried to be helpful.
649
00:36:21,637 --> 00:36:23,139
I just wanted to read my book!
650
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,733
Mrs. Dolan?
651
00:36:33,816 --> 00:36:34,525
Yes?
652
00:36:38,070 --> 00:36:41,449
Oh, it's you.
653
00:36:41,532 --> 00:36:44,452
My name is Alan braithwaite.
654
00:36:44,535 --> 00:36:48,998
I heard about your
husband, and I'm sorry.
655
00:36:49,081 --> 00:36:52,418
Thank you.
656
00:36:52,501 --> 00:36:53,920
Maybe they have the wrong man.
657
00:36:54,003 --> 00:36:57,465
Oh, I wish that were true.
658
00:36:57,548 --> 00:36:58,925
Alan: Maybe there
was someone else--
659
00:36:59,008 --> 00:37:05,222
you know, maybe an accomplice?
660
00:37:05,306 --> 00:37:06,182
I don't think so.
661
00:37:08,726 --> 00:37:11,896
My poor Edgar.
662
00:37:11,979 --> 00:37:14,398
I-- I'm sorry.
663
00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:15,149
[Crying]
664
00:37:15,232 --> 00:37:16,692
Please, Mrs. Dolan, don't cry.
665
00:37:25,701 --> 00:37:27,161
I'm going to miss him.
666
00:37:27,244 --> 00:37:29,830
Mm, I know.
667
00:37:29,914 --> 00:37:34,126
Remember when he got stuck
in that suit of armor?
668
00:37:34,210 --> 00:37:35,419
He was just like
a brother to me.
669
00:37:38,839 --> 00:37:40,007
Hey, what's this?
670
00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:41,717
Pistachios.
671
00:37:41,801 --> 00:37:44,053
It's an epaulette.
672
00:37:44,136 --> 00:37:46,055
It's a purser's epaulette.
673
00:37:46,138 --> 00:37:47,348
Where'd these
pistachio nuts come from?
674
00:37:47,431 --> 00:37:48,641
I got them out of some cabin.
675
00:37:48,724 --> 00:37:49,684
Let me see-- which one
did I get them out of?
676
00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:51,394
Come on!
677
00:37:51,477 --> 00:37:52,228
I remember.
678
00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:05,533
Ok, gopher.
679
00:38:05,616 --> 00:38:07,868
You're the winner.
680
00:38:07,952 --> 00:38:10,204
I don't think
I want the prize.
681
00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:12,707
What I'm trying to
say is, I give up.
682
00:38:12,790 --> 00:38:16,669
You're free to go.
683
00:38:16,752 --> 00:38:18,004
You mean it?
684
00:38:18,087 --> 00:38:19,297
Yes.
685
00:38:19,380 --> 00:38:20,256
I mean it.
686
00:38:20,339 --> 00:38:20,589
Go!
687
00:38:20,673 --> 00:38:21,298
Oh boy.
688
00:38:32,184 --> 00:38:33,686
What is it, bernice?
689
00:38:33,769 --> 00:38:35,104
You find somebody new?
690
00:38:39,483 --> 00:38:42,069
You sure this is where
you picked up the nuts?
691
00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:42,945
Positive.
692
00:38:43,029 --> 00:38:44,363
137, though--
that's captain Tobin.
693
00:38:44,447 --> 00:38:46,741
There was nothing
unusual going on in there
694
00:38:46,824 --> 00:38:47,199
when I searched.
695
00:38:47,283 --> 00:38:49,035
Wait a minute.
696
00:38:49,118 --> 00:38:51,495
When she boarded, she said
she was anxious to find a man.
697
00:38:51,579 --> 00:38:53,080
You think she
found gopher instead?
698
00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:54,915
We'll soon find out.
699
00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:58,919
This may turn out to
be a medical emergency.
700
00:38:59,003 --> 00:38:59,712
Gopher!
701
00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:05,259
You've been here all
the time, doing that?
702
00:39:05,342 --> 00:39:05,885
And we were so worried!
703
00:39:05,968 --> 00:39:08,304
Now wait a minute.
704
00:39:08,387 --> 00:39:09,889
I know it doesn't look
like it, but I have
705
00:39:09,972 --> 00:39:11,807
been held here against my will.
706
00:39:11,891 --> 00:39:14,268
You expect us to believe
that this lady forced
707
00:39:14,351 --> 00:39:15,603
you to stay in her cabin?
708
00:39:15,686 --> 00:39:16,562
Yes.
709
00:39:16,645 --> 00:39:18,022
You were a prisoner?
710
00:39:18,105 --> 00:39:19,148
Exactly, prisoner.
711
00:39:19,231 --> 00:39:20,357
Oh, gopher, cut it out.
712
00:39:20,441 --> 00:39:21,901
It's bad enough you made us
turn the ship upside down.
713
00:39:21,984 --> 00:39:23,944
And do your work for you.
714
00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:25,905
And now you have
the gall to tell us
715
00:39:25,988 --> 00:39:27,907
that this beautiful young lady--
716
00:39:27,990 --> 00:39:30,659
ahh!
717
00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:32,745
Excuse me, but i'm
through visiting.
718
00:39:32,828 --> 00:39:33,079
I'm with you, Isaac.
719
00:39:33,162 --> 00:39:34,538
Me too.
720
00:39:34,622 --> 00:39:35,373
Gopher?
721
00:39:35,456 --> 00:39:36,165
Coming.
722
00:39:42,296 --> 00:39:45,800
I know this may sound
strange, but, um,
723
00:39:45,883 --> 00:39:49,136
could I come back later?
724
00:39:49,220 --> 00:39:50,304
Absolutely not.
725
00:39:52,723 --> 00:39:55,768
I want to see some of the ship
before the cruise is over.
726
00:40:00,064 --> 00:40:01,190
I'll come to your cabin.
727
00:40:10,908 --> 00:40:13,244
Ok, thanks.
728
00:40:17,706 --> 00:40:19,166
Dutch says they
haven't seen gopher
729
00:40:19,250 --> 00:40:21,085
anywhere near the engine room.
730
00:40:21,168 --> 00:40:21,418
[Knocking]
731
00:40:23,254 --> 00:40:25,381
Come in.
732
00:40:25,464 --> 00:40:26,549
Hi, Alan.
733
00:40:26,632 --> 00:40:27,383
Hi, Vicki.
734
00:40:31,762 --> 00:40:35,850
Captain stubing, there's
something I have to say to you.
735
00:40:35,933 --> 00:40:36,642
Yes?
736
00:40:39,728 --> 00:40:45,484
Um, captain, you're
holding an innocent man.
737
00:40:45,568 --> 00:40:49,113
Mr. Dolan didn't steal anything.
738
00:40:49,196 --> 00:40:49,905
I did.
739
00:40:53,784 --> 00:40:55,119
Alan, it's very nice of
you to come to his aid,
740
00:40:55,202 --> 00:40:58,080
but he was caught in the act.
741
00:40:58,164 --> 00:41:02,960
Yeah, in the act of returning
the stuff that I stole.
742
00:41:03,043 --> 00:41:05,337
When he found out, he
decided to give me a break.
743
00:41:12,469 --> 00:41:17,099
This is a very
serious offense, Alan.
744
00:41:17,183 --> 00:41:18,559
I know.
745
00:41:18,642 --> 00:41:18,684
And I'm sorry.
746
00:41:22,605 --> 00:41:24,398
I took all that stuff
because I wanted Vicki
747
00:41:24,481 --> 00:41:25,774
to think that I was a big shot.
748
00:41:51,967 --> 00:41:54,553
Do you remember
that movie with Gary
749
00:41:54,637 --> 00:41:57,806
Cooper and Audrey hepburn, the
one we saw on the late show?
750
00:41:57,890 --> 00:41:58,933
Sure.
751
00:41:59,016 --> 00:41:59,808
"Love in the afternoon."
752
00:41:59,892 --> 00:42:02,895
It was about an
older man and a younger
753
00:42:02,978 --> 00:42:05,314
woman who were in love.
754
00:42:05,397 --> 00:42:09,276
Worked in the movie,
but this is real life.
755
00:42:12,529 --> 00:42:16,075
I can't keep up with you.
756
00:42:16,158 --> 00:42:17,451
But you said
you wanted someone
757
00:42:17,534 --> 00:42:19,536
who was peppy and active.
758
00:42:19,620 --> 00:42:20,287
You said it made you feel young.
759
00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:22,915
That was my ego talking.
760
00:42:22,998 --> 00:42:25,793
My body wasn't listening.
761
00:42:25,876 --> 00:42:29,547
You mean this youth kick
wasn't what you wanted?
762
00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:33,175
I'm afraid I was just
trying to act your age.
763
00:42:33,259 --> 00:42:34,176
I'm a lousy actor.
764
00:42:40,015 --> 00:42:43,560
You know, just because
I'm young doesn't mean
765
00:42:43,644 --> 00:42:47,147
I don't enjoy relaxing, too--
766
00:42:47,231 --> 00:42:49,650
going to bed early
once in a while--
767
00:42:49,733 --> 00:42:50,484
to sleep.
768
00:42:54,363 --> 00:42:58,284
I just wanted you to love me.
769
00:42:58,367 --> 00:43:00,327
But I do love you.
770
00:43:04,915 --> 00:43:06,250
Wait a minute.
771
00:43:08,836 --> 00:43:10,504
You mean you're
willing to accept
772
00:43:10,587 --> 00:43:16,260
a man in his middle years
who loves you very much?
773
00:43:16,343 --> 00:43:18,637
Why not?
774
00:43:18,721 --> 00:43:20,889
Someday maybe I'll have
some middle years, too.
775
00:43:41,994 --> 00:43:43,037
Fred?
776
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:43,871
Louise--
777
00:43:46,165 --> 00:43:47,541
you like it?
778
00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:50,461
It's-- it's not you.
779
00:43:50,544 --> 00:43:52,004
Oh, don't be silly.
780
00:43:52,087 --> 00:43:53,714
Now, I have it all planned.
781
00:43:53,797 --> 00:43:56,300
When we get back home,
we're going to take up hang
782
00:43:56,383 --> 00:43:58,719
gliding and maybe even surfing.
783
00:43:58,802 --> 00:44:00,637
Whoa, Louise.
784
00:44:00,721 --> 00:44:07,394
Fred-- I'm not going
to ruin our marriage.
785
00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:12,733
If you want young,
I'll give you young.
786
00:44:12,816 --> 00:44:20,240
Louise, all I want is
someone warm and comfortable.
787
00:44:20,324 --> 00:44:26,455
And since I've got that, i'm
never, never going to lose you.
788
00:44:34,546 --> 00:44:38,008
So captain, the
kid will be ok?
789
00:44:38,092 --> 00:44:41,053
Yes, he will.
790
00:44:41,136 --> 00:44:42,805
And the stolen property?
791
00:44:42,888 --> 00:44:44,556
All returned to
the rightful owners,
792
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,642
and no one is pressing charges.
793
00:44:46,725 --> 00:44:49,561
And it's all thanks to
your husband, Mrs. Dolan.
794
00:44:49,645 --> 00:44:51,021
Well, that's true.
795
00:44:51,105 --> 00:44:54,400
But what amazes me is after
30 years with the force,
796
00:44:54,483 --> 00:44:59,029
you'd think he'd have enough
finesse not to get caught.
797
00:44:59,113 --> 00:45:01,907
I thought the
same thing myself--
798
00:45:01,990 --> 00:45:03,325
unless he wanted to get caught.
799
00:45:05,994 --> 00:45:09,123
Now, captain, why would
I do a thing like that?
800
00:45:09,206 --> 00:45:12,584
Well, you might have done it
to give a confused boy a chance
801
00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:14,628
to redeem himself
by coming forward
802
00:45:14,711 --> 00:45:21,218
and publicly
admitting his guilt.
803
00:45:21,301 --> 00:45:23,554
Mrs. Dolan, would
you like to cut a rug
804
00:45:23,637 --> 00:45:25,806
with an over-the-hill cop?
805
00:45:25,889 --> 00:45:29,393
No, but I'd love
to dance with you.
806
00:45:29,476 --> 00:45:30,811
[Laughing]
807
00:45:51,623 --> 00:45:54,793
Mr. Dolan, thank you for
everything you've done.
808
00:45:54,877 --> 00:45:57,004
I'm not sure I even deserved it.
809
00:45:57,087 --> 00:45:57,671
I am grateful.
810
00:45:57,754 --> 00:45:59,548
Rules of the house, kid.
811
00:45:59,631 --> 00:46:00,632
We've all got to have
a little understanding.
812
00:46:00,716 --> 00:46:03,010
I think we all
need to be reminded
813
00:46:03,093 --> 00:46:04,636
of that every now and then.
814
00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:06,472
And I think you're
right, captain.
815
00:46:06,555 --> 00:46:07,347
Bye bye.
Bye bye.
816
00:46:07,431 --> 00:46:08,515
- Bye bye.
- Bye now.
817
00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:09,516
Right?
- Bye, captain.
818
00:46:13,437 --> 00:46:14,855
Guess who?
819
00:46:14,938 --> 00:46:15,814
The green bay packers?
820
00:46:15,898 --> 00:46:17,441
Hey, you peeked.
821
00:46:17,524 --> 00:46:18,358
You better write me soon.
822
00:46:18,442 --> 00:46:20,319
I'll do better than that.
823
00:46:20,402 --> 00:46:22,112
You can expect a
package in the mail.
824
00:46:22,196 --> 00:46:24,364
Please, a letter
will do just fine.
825
00:46:24,448 --> 00:46:25,032
Ok.
826
00:46:25,115 --> 00:46:26,241
Bye, Vicki.
- Bye bye.
827
00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:26,700
See ya.
828
00:46:26,783 --> 00:46:28,118
See you later.
829
00:46:28,202 --> 00:46:29,995
[Laughter]
830
00:46:30,078 --> 00:46:31,997
Hey, let's get
together next Thursday
831
00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:33,040
and go out for
some Mexican food.
832
00:46:33,123 --> 00:46:35,375
Yeah, we could all go
out and paint the town.
833
00:46:35,459 --> 00:46:37,628
I don't think so.
834
00:46:37,711 --> 00:46:39,338
We'd rather stay at home.
835
00:46:39,421 --> 00:46:40,506
I've reached
that age where I've
836
00:46:40,589 --> 00:46:42,549
got to start taking it easy.
837
00:46:42,633 --> 00:46:44,843
And I've reached that
age for a second time.
838
00:46:50,307 --> 00:46:51,308
Well, you certainly made
this a very interesting
839
00:46:51,391 --> 00:46:53,560
cruise, captain Tobin.
840
00:46:53,644 --> 00:46:54,603
Particularly for gopher.
841
00:46:54,686 --> 00:46:57,314
This should cover
all the breakage
842
00:46:57,397 --> 00:46:59,024
in the cabin, plus a little
extra for the crew emergency
843
00:46:59,107 --> 00:47:00,734
fund.
844
00:47:00,817 --> 00:47:01,902
Oh, thank you.
845
00:47:01,985 --> 00:47:03,362
That's very generous of you.
846
00:47:03,445 --> 00:47:04,112
Oh.
847
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:11,370
Goodbye, gopher.
848
00:47:11,453 --> 00:47:14,248
Goodbye, bernice.
849
00:47:14,331 --> 00:47:17,125
It's been a pleasure--
850
00:47:17,209 --> 00:47:20,420
a real pleasure.
851
00:47:20,504 --> 00:47:22,506
It was a pleasure for
me, too, once I became
852
00:47:22,589 --> 00:47:24,675
a volunteer and not a draftee.
853
00:47:27,344 --> 00:47:29,972
We have a slogan in the army--
854
00:47:30,055 --> 00:47:30,889
"be all that you can be."
855
00:47:34,393 --> 00:47:34,935
And you certainly were.
856
00:47:54,204 --> 00:47:57,499
[Theme - Jack Jones, "love boat]
57758
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