All language subtitles for The Iceman Cometh (1960)

[Music]

so

[Music]

so

[Music]

make it fast i don't want the force to

get wise when he's got one of his tight

white buns on

jesus ain't the old fast to the right

when he starts that

bull about turning over a new leap not a

damn

drink on the house he tells me and all

these bums have got to pay up that right

beginning tomorrow he says

geez you think he might be i'll be glad

to pay up

tomorrow i know my fellow inmates will

all promise the same they have a

touching credulity concerning tomorrow

it'll be a great day tomorrow the feast

of all fools with brass bands playing

why their ships will come in loaded to

the gunnels with cancelled regrets and

promises fulfilled

and clean slates and new leases yeah

and a ton of hop about the faith

have you know respect for religion young

regenerate wasp

what's it matter if the truth is that

their favoring breeds has the stink of

nickel whiskey on its bread

and that their sea is a growler of lager

and ale

and that their ships are long since

looted and scuttled and sunk on the

bottom

the hell with the truth why the history

of the world proves that the

truth has no bearing on anything

it's irrelevant and immaterial as the

lawyers say

it's the lie of a pipe drain that gives

life to the whole misbegotten mad a lot

of us drunk us

over the oldest enough philosophical

wisdom to give you

for one drink of rock guy the old

philosopher

like kiki called ancient i suppose you

don't fall for no pipe dream

i don't mine are all dead and buried

behind me what lies before me

is the comforting fact that death is a

fine long sleep

and i'm damn tired and it can't come too

soon for me

the old anicus twice guy that knows all

the answers

that's you huh you can forget it about

the annika's part of it

and through the movement long since i

saw that men don't want to be saved from

themselves because then

they'd have to give up greed and they'll

never pay that price for liberty

am i right comrade hugo oh

crying telling the truth don't get that

bug house bump started

what's happening is fine

has the slaves no right to sleep

hello little monkey face

how you little slave girl don't be a

fool

temple swallow up and buy me a tree

he's out again he's lucky no one takes

his crack serious

or he'll wake up every morning in the

hospital

no one takes him seriously that's his

appetite

if i'm through with the movement long

since it's been through with him and

thanks to whiskey he's the only one

who doesn't know it i've let him get by

with too much

he's going to pull that slave girl stuff

on me once too often

and you think that was a pimp or

something everyone knows me knows i

ain't

a pimp don't hold no job i'm a bartender

them thoughts margie important they're

just the sideline to pick up some extra

dough

strictly business like there was

fighters and i was their minded you see

a shrewd businessman who never misses an

opportunity to get on in the world

that's what i'd call you rocky

sure thing that's me grab another ball

larry

you'd never think all these bums out of

good bed to go up to upstairs

scared if they hit the hay they wouldn't

be here when hickey showed up i miss a

couple of drinks

that's what kept you up to ana it is

not so much in the hope of booze if you

can believe that

i've got the blues and hickey's a great

one to

to make a joke out of everything and

cheer you up yeah remember he wakes up

that gag about his wife

when he's cockeyed crying over a picture

and then springing it on you all of a

sudden that he left her in the hay with

the iceman

[Laughter]

i wonder what's happened to him you

could set your watch by his periodicals

before this

always got here a couple of days before

harry's birthday party

now he's got till midnight to make it i

hope he shows up soon

this dump looks like the morgue with all

these bombs passed out

dreaming about his own man from what the

old timers say

the old jet shoe made a pile of donut

book a chop game before the cop's gone

geez i've seen him bad before but never

this bad

where did i get him i ain't seen no one

so bad

except ticky on the end of a couple of

his bats that's a great game the pursuit

of having oh it's that

damn life hey

hey you said yelling willy foss the

brooklyn boys is there

give the poor guy a drink and keep him

quiet

can't i get a wink of sleep in my own

back room

listen to that blind dyke default

bastard will you he give me strict

daughters not to let willie hang up no

more drinks no matter what

what's that i can't hear you

you're a cockered liar never refused to

drink to anyone who needed it back in my

life

told you to use your judgment ought to

know better

you're too busy thinking up ways to keep

me

oh i ain't as blind as you think i can

still see a catch register beginning

oh sure boss well chance fooling you i'm

lies to you and your sidekick chuck

did your your burglars not far keeps

blind eye default bastard am i i heard

you

heard you open when you didn't think you

and chuck laughing behind my back

telling everyone how you throw the money

up in the air

what sticks to the seal is my share find

couple of groups

the g yet yet steal the pennies from

your dead mother god oh hi

me and chuck was only killing me i'm

fired without both of yous

if you think you can play me for an easy

mark you came to the wrong house

nobody ever played harry hope for a

sucker

no one but everybody well at least you

could try and keep things

quiet give me a drink rocky harry said

it's all right

well then grab but it's right under your

nose

[Music]

[Music]

what time is it rocky huh getting near

time to open up

time you begun to sweep up in a bar oh

if hickey comes time joe go back to

sleep again

i was dreaming that hickey come in the

door

cracking one of them drama jokes and

and he was waving a big bankroll and we

was all gonna be

drunk for two weeks wake up no luck

oh hey larry how about that young guy

pirate

come to look you up last night where's

he at he's up in his room asleep

oh he had a roll on him when he played

his his room rent didn't he rocky i seen

him yeah yeah he flashed the like he

forgot and then tried to hide it quick

oh he did yeah i figured he don't belong

but he said he was a friend of yours

he's a liar

i wouldn't know who he is if he hadn't

told me his mother and i were friends on

the coast years ago

oh you remember reading in the paper

about that bombing on the coast where

several people were killed

well the only woman they pinched was a

parrot

is his mother they come up for trial

pretty soon there's no chance for them

she'll get life i think

i'm telling you this sir that you'll

know why if don acts a bit queer and not

jump on him

must be hard hit he's our only kid why

are you out there sticking by hook

i don't know anything about it and i

don't want to know the hell with the

movement and all connected with it

if there's one thing more than another i

care nothing about

is that second game you and hugo call

the movement

hey that reminds me of a damn fool

argument

me the most porter had the other night

he was drunk and i was drunk

he says he said socialist and anarchist

you ought to shoot them dead they all

know goodbye

i said hold on you talk is it socialist

and anarchist is the same

the easy says they're both no good

basses oh no they ain't i said

i'll explain you the difference now you

see the anarchist

well he never works he drinks but he

never buys

and if he ever gets a nickel he blows it

on bombs wouldn't give you nothing

so you go ahead and shoot him but the

socialist

sometimes he gets a job and if he gets

10

bucks he is bound by his religion to

split it with your 50 50.

you say how about my cut comrad you get

your five

so you don't shoot no socialist while

i'm around that is

not if they got anything of course if

they broke

then they know good basses too

he's your guy larry hello larry

hello what's up i thought you'd still be

asleep

i couldn't make it i got sick of lying

awake

oh sit down and join the bombs there

the rules of the house are that drinks

may be served at all hours

oh oh i get you but helen i'm just about

broke

oh i know you guys saw you you think i

have a role don't you

well i don't i'll show you see it's all

ones it's all i've got to live on until

i can get a job

you think i fixed up a phony don't you

well you're lucky in the movement if you

have enough to eat

what's the song that that's about we

ain't said nothing

well i just don't want you to think that

i'm a tight wad that's all all right

i'll buy you a drink if you want one

yes oh man when when i don't want to

drink

call them all bring the bible quick

rocky before he change his mind

i'll take a cigar when i go in the bar

what are you um

nothing i'm on the wagon what's the

damage

15 cents must be some booze

and cyanide cut with carbolic acid to

give it a mellow flavor

[Music]

i guess i'll get back to the bar catch a

couple of winks

before opening up time

one drink guy that weld and run

dry no hope no hope till harry's

birthday party

let's let's hickey come hey larry

if hickey comes you wake me up if you

got to back back me with a chair

who's hickey i was a hardware drummer a

friend of

harry's and all the crowd here he he's a

grand

guy he comes here twice a year regularly

to go on a periodical drunk and he

blows in all his money sure must be hard

up for a place to hang

out oh it has its points for him he

never runs into anyone he knows in his

business here

yes that's what i want too

i've been to some dumps on the coast but

this is the limit

what kind of a joint is this anyway what

is it

why it's the no chance saloon it's

bedrock bar

the end of the lion cafe the bottom of

the city rascally

and nobody here worries about where

they're going next because there's no

father they can go don't complain about

this please

never find the better for lying low

you're safe here

see larry i was sure glad to find you

i kept saying to myself if only i can

find larry

he's the one guy in the world who could

understand

understand what

all i've been through

i've never forgotten you larry

you were the one friend of mothers who

ever paid any attention to me

or even knew i was alive

you remember you used to take me on your

knee and tell me funny stories and

make me laugh you'd ask me questions and

take what i said seriously

i guess i got the feeling in the years

that you lived with us

that you had taken the place of my old

man

[Music]

hell that sounds like a lot of mush

how is it that they didn't

pinch you when they got your mother in

the rest i wasn't around

as soon as i heard the news i went right

undercover

now the papers say that the cops got

them all dead to rise

now someone in the movement on the

inside must have

sold out and tipped them off yes i guess

that must be true larry

it hasn't come out yet who it was it may

never come out

i'd hate to think it at any of the old

crowd

oh they're all damn fools i know that

most of them

there's greedy for powers the worst

capitalists they attack but

i'd swear there wasn't a yellow stool

pigeon tomorrow yes i'd swear that too

larry

oh he'll be rutz in hell whoever it is

yes so do i

how did you locate me mother

i found out where she had hidden your

letters in her flat and i snuck up there

one night right after they made the

arrest

never would have thought she was a woman

to save letters

oh it's funny her mother kept in touch

with you for so long

when she's through with anyone she's a

tennis

he's always been real proud of that

what made you lose a movement larry is

it on account of mother

i'll be a damn fool i had a lot of good

reasons myself for one

another one was my comrades and the last

the breed of swine called men in general

i asked for myself i was forced to admit

after

30 years devotion to the cause that i

was never made for

i was one of those born condemned to be

to one who who who sees all sides to

every question

when you're damned like that the

questions multiply for you until in the

end it's all

questions and no answers this

worldly success is anything especially

revolution you have to wear

blinders like a horse and see only

straight in front of you you have to see

that

that this is all black and this is all

white

as for my comrades in the great cause i

felt about them as horace walpole did

about england that he could love it if

it weren't for the people in it

well at any rate you can see that it had

nothing to do with your mother

what have you been doing all these years

since you left the coast larry

uh nothing that i could help doing if i

don't believe in the movement anymore i

don't believe in anything else either

i'm a philosophical old bum and i'm

proud of it

you listen to me i hope you

deduced that i have my reasons for

answering the important questions of a

stranger that's all you are to me

the feeling that you're looking for the

answer to something from me

well let me warn you right at the starts

there won't be any misunderstanding

i have no answer for anybody for

anything not even myself

unless you can call what heiner wrote in

his poem the morphine an answer

low sleep is good better is dead and so

the best of all were never to be born

that's a hell of an answer still you

never know when it might come in handy

i don't suppose you had much chance to

get any news from your mother

since she's been in jail no no chance

anyway i don't think she wants to hear

from me see we had a fight just before

that business happened

she balled me out for going around with

tarts that got my goat coming from her

she said i was losing interest in the

movement and that i was paying too much

attention to outside things

well the days go hot oh babylon

just cool beneath thy willow trees

rotten damn still picture boy

you can't call me

where you come from don't be a fool

passed out again i should have

remembered whenever hugo gets saucy he

calls everybody a stool fish

well i've always had a lot of respect

for hugo

i always stood up for him when people in

the movement penned him for no good

drunken has been

he had the guts to serve 10 years in the

can in his own country and get his eyes

reigned in solitary for what he did

i'd like to see some of them stick that

uh well tell me some more about this

dump larry

where are all these tanks anyway how

about that guy over there trying to

catch pneumonia

well that is uh captain lewis

one time hero of the british army he uh

he uh strips this way to display the

scar that he got from a native spear

when he's completely south

the melissa bloke opposite him here is

uh general what's

up the two of them met when they went to

work in the boer war spectacle in the st

louis world's fair

they've been boozing pals ever since

they dreamed their hours away

and happy dispute over the great days in

south africa when they tried to murder

each other

a little far back here he was there too

corresponding for a british newspaper

our nickname for him here is jimmy

tomorrow

he's the leader of our tomorrow movie

what do they do for a living

as little as possible they live on free

lunch and their old friend harry hopes

he doesn't give a damn what anyone does

or doesn't do it as long as he likes you

it must be a tough life hey

don't pity them i won't thank you for it

they managed to get drunk by hooker by

crook and hold on to their pipe dreams

which

is all they ask out of a laugh there's

an orphan that a man attains the true

goals of his heart's desire

that goes for hairy hope too and he's

so satisfied with life that he hasn't

set foot out of this place since his

wife died

20 years ago he has no need for the

outside world at all

this place does a fine trade from the

marketplace across the street to the

dock workers

so in spite of harry's great thirst and

his generous heart he comes out even

he doesn't have to worry about hard

times because of his old friends when he

was a

jitney tell any politician don't ask me

what his two pals work out because they

don't

except it being his lifetime guest

the one facing you is his brother-in-law

ed mosher

he used to work for a circus in the

ticket wagon the other one was pat

mclaurin

a police lieutenant uh he got too greedy

you when the usual police

investigation came along why he was

caught red-handed and thrown off the

force

joe back there he ran a colored gambling

house then

he was a hell of a sport so they say

well that's our whole family circle of

inmates except for the two barkeeps and

their girlfriends

three ladies of the evening who room on

the third floor

why emit me from your who's who in dip

so many a larry

an unpardonable slight especially as i'm

the only inmate of royal blood

educated at harvard too you must have

noticed the atmosphere of culture here

my humble contribution yes

generous stranger i trust you're

generous

i was born in the purple the sun but

unfortunately not the year of the late

world famous bill o'bannon king of the

bucket shops

a revolution deposed him conducted by

the district attorney

in fact not to mince matters they locked

him in the can and threw away the key

no i never heard it i never heard about

everyone in the world

well even at harvard i discovered my

father was well known by reputation

i was accepted socially with all the

warm cordiality that henry wadsworth

longfellow would have shown a drunken

negroes dancing in a can cannon high

noon on brattle street

harvard was my father's idea he was an

ambitious man dictatorial to always tell

you what was best for me

i was a brilliant student at law school

my father wanted a lawyer in the family

he was a calculating man a thorough

knowledge of the law close at hand in

his house

to help him find fresh ways to evade it

but i discovered the loophole of whiskey

and escaped his jurisdiction

speaking of whiskey sir reminds me and i

hope reminds you that when meeting a

prince

the customary salutation is what

oh you guys seem to think i'm made of

double you don't have the thirsty look

of the impecunius

[Music]

let us ignore this useless youth larry

let us join in prayer that hickey the

great salesman will soon arrive bringing

in the blessed

bourgeois along green would that hickey

or death would come

meanwhile i will sing a song

a beautiful old new england folk ballad

i picked up at harvard amid the debris

of education

jack o jack was a sailor lad and he came

to a tavern virgin

he wrapped and he rapped with a but

never a soul seemed in

there was a legend rooted about in

cambridge laboratories that waldo

emerson composed it during his

uninformative years as a minister while

trying to write a sermon

he wrapped and wrapped and tapped and

tapped enough to wake the heads

until he heard the damsel

oh and now the influence of a good woman

enters our mirror in his life well

perhaps good isn't the word but very

very kind

you and i'll oh and i'll show you the

prettiest

that ever you disease you see like the

new cure to touch obviously and it grows

more mocked as we go on

he puts his arm around her yeah

the poor guy up leave him alone if he's

quiet

thank you you're a good sport

oh the um have i been drinking at the

same table with a bloody cafe

oh hello captain are you coming up for

here

cathy who's here

that's a joke on him joe he don't know

you the poor bloody limey he's still

blind drunk

great mistake i missed him at the battle

of mother ever

do you know with my eiffel i shoot

plenty of foolish limey offices for

him i missed him

ah the pity of it your caesars

wake up you bloody fool don't you know

your old friend joe

he's no damn kaffir joyous he's white

my profound apologies just no trouble

the eyes was a

trifle blur you know well you're the

whitest colored man i ever knew

i'm proud to call your friend no hard

feelings oh no

captain i know it's a mistake use

regular even if you is a limit

but i don't stand for no from

nobody

in the old days people call me

wakes up in the hospital

yeah the old days in the transvaal

i was so tough and so strong i grabbed

by the exit an ox card with a full load

and lift it like a feather yes so you my

barbie bower that walks like a man i say

again it was a grave error in our

foreign policy

ever to let you go once we'd nabbed you

if you've been

taken straight to the london zoo and

incarcerated there with a sign

spectators may distinguish the true

baboon by his blue behind

mean god when you think ten better limey

officers i shoot

right in the middle of the ford at the

battle of spion cops

and him i miss i never forgive myself

come now come now pete we must forget

the war

born britain each fought fairly and

played the game till the better man won

and then

we shook hands they're all brothers

within the empire

united under the flag on which the sun

ever sets

ah ship means somewhere east of suez

oh you're there already jimmy worst is

best here in east is west and tomorrow

is yesterday what do you want

tomorrow yeah that was that time i got

straightened out and down to business

again now

have this soup cleaned and pressed

before i go up there to see this man

i don't want to live crap white folks

always said i was white

well look at the big chief in them days

he knew i was right

well i saved up enough money to open my

gambling house

and folks in the know they say see the

man at the top

you don't have no trouble get harry hope

to to write you a letter to the chief

and harry does

don't you harry hmm oh sure

big bill was a good friend of mine i

plenty of friends high up in those days

still could have if i wanted to go up

and see him

sure i wrote your letter said you was

white

what the hell hey see captain

i went to see the chief shaking in my

boots they was sitting behind this big

desk looking like a like a big freight

train

he don't look up he just he just keep me

waiting

and waiting and after what seemed like

about an

hour he he's sitting in a voice

slow and quiet like like there wasn't no

harm in him

so you want to open a gambling joint do

you joe

well you don't give me no time to answer

you jump up

looking like like two freight trains and

he pounds his

fist like a like a ham on the desk any

any shows

you black bastard harry says you white

and you better be white because there's

a little iron room up the river waiting

for you

and then and then he sat down and he

says slow

and quiet again all right you can open

i get the hell out of here it's all open

and he finds out i'm white showing up

cause i run

wide open for years and i pay my sugar

on the dock

and the cops and me we stay friends ah

them all day

is the night i come in here or this

place

this place was a with a first-class

hangout for sports in them days

good whiskey 15 cents two for two bits

i throws a fifty dollar bill down like

it was trash paper

and i said break up boys i don't want no

change

ain't that right harry yes mbg if i see

you throw 50 cents on the bar now

i know i had the delirium trimming oh

thank you

hairy old chum i will take a drink with

you now that you mention it since it's

so near your birthday

what's that can't hear you no i imagined

you wouldn't

i don't have to hear you how much room

red do you owe me tell me that

i'm sorry harry adding has always

baffled me uh

subtraction is my 40. what think you're

funny hey look

captain bg showing off your wounds

i put your clothes on man this ain't a

turkish bomb

lousy lightning army took him years to

lick a gang of dutch farmers

that's right i give him hell i don't

look under you you duck spinning

general salvation army you want to be

generally

bragging what a great shop to work and

you missed him

and he missed you i know the two of you

bum on me

but you broke my camel's back this time

you'll pay up tomorrow

my dear fellow i give you my word of

honor as an officer and a gentleman you

will be paid tomorrow

that's right tomorrow without fear he's

feared

there you are sure what could be fairer

than that yeah you can't risk more than

that harry your promise is a promise

as i've often discovered well i mean

both of you too

an old grafton flat foot and a circus

bunker steerer

fine company for me vg a couple of con

men living in their flat

and you ain't even got the decency to

take me upstairs

where i got a good bed let me sleep in

the chair like a bum

sorry at night did i darned us to get

you up didn't we yes

yeah we did but you said you couldn't

bear the flap because it was one of

those nights that memory brought four

dear old bess back to you

hey that's right boys i remember now

i could almost see her in every room

just as she used to be but it's 20 years

old yesterday and touching the thing by

all accounts bessie nagged the hell out

of here

i stopped roping around

gotta get my shoes sold and heal and

shine first thing tomorrow morning

i don't want to look like a prank

sad and beautiful thing too ah poor old

bessie

you don't see her likes these days

sweeter woman never drew breath

dear old bess yeah a man couldn't want a

better sister than she was to me

20 years and i've never set foot outside

this house since the day i buried her

i didn't have the heart once she'd gone

i didn't give a damn about anything i

lost all my ambition

without her nothing seemed worth the

trouble

you remember ed and you too mac the boys

was going to nominate me for alderman

oh i'd have been elected easy oh you

would harry it was a

sure thing there was a dead cinch harry

everybody knows that

sure they do but when bessie died

i didn't have the heart still i know but

why she'd appreciate my grief she she

wouldn't wanted to have me

cooped up here all my life so i've made

up my mind

i'll go out soon take a walk around the

wards

see the friends i used to know maybe get

together with the boys

tell them i let them deal me a hand in

their game

tomorrow my birthday that would be a

good day to turn over a new leaf

sixty that ain't too old it's the prime

of

life harry you know the wonderful thing

about you

harry is you keep as young as you ever

was

i gotta get my stuff out of the laundry

they must still have them

i want to make a good appearance you

know oh

i met dick crumble on the street a year

or two ago

is that me jimmy the direction

department hasn't been the same since

you left it's

dead as hell i said i know i know dick

i hear the managements that they would

send be only too glad to have me come

back and run it for them again

i think all you do would be go up and

see them and they'd give me the position

don't you think so dick

he said sure sure they would jimmy only

uh

take my advice and wait no business

conditions are better

now this should not be better by this

time

all i need to do is get fixed up with a

decent front

and it's as good as done

you know i'm sorry we had to disperse

our trip again this april peter

i had to hope the blasters estate would

be settled up

jimmy's got them all smoke at the same

bug house will drive me stark railing

lonely yet

oh the old wise guy wise hell

no good antichrist i won't worker i'm

sick of you and

but you go too you'll pay up tomorrow

and i

i start a harry hope revolution i'll tie

a dispossessed bomb to your tails

that'll blow you to the streets i'll

make your movement move

[Laughter]

you know harry you sure say the funniest

things

oh hell where's my drink well the damn

rocky's too fast cleaning off the tables

i only took one little sip

no no you don't any time you take one

sip of a drink

you'll have locked john paralysis sure

it's not like you to be so hard-hearted

harry

ah you mac another crook who asked you

to laugh

we was talking about poor old bessie and

you were that no good brother of her

starting to laugh

a hell of a thing your opinion of you

mac that pat mcloyne is the biggest

drunken grafter that ever disgraced the

police force

she used to say to me i hope they send

him to sing sing for life

ah she doesn't mean it that's not a

heart of gold underneath all her

sharpness

she knew i was innocent of all the

charges one moment please lieutenant

mccoin

are you aware you are under oath do you

realize what the penalty for perjury is

come now lieutenant isn't it the fact

that you're guilty as hell

i don't say how about your old man i'm

asking the questions the fact that he

was a crooked old bucket shop bastard

has no bearing on your case

gentleman of the jury court will now

recess while the d.a sings a little

diddy he learned at harvard

[Laughter]

it was composed in a wanton moment by

the dean of the divinity school on a

moonlight night in july 1776

while sobering up in a turkish

oh bath up she cried my sailor light as

you

as i'll agree and i'll show you the

fishiest

whatever you decide how he don't let

rocky buff downstairs i'll go crazy

listen mac i apologize don't get sore i

was only kidding

get all you want to willy i'm hardened

to it

i tell you that one of these days i am

going to get him to open up my case

everybody knows there was no real

evidence against me

i just took the blame for the ones

higher up of course you'll be reinstated

mack

all you need is a brilliant young

attorney to handle your case

i'll be straightened out and on the

wagon in a day or two

i've never practiced you will let me

handle your case won't you mac

sure i will really make your reputation

haven't i heard their visions a thousand

times i wish the hell hickey would turn

up

harry

po well he needs to drink that you know

i think if we all join to make him feel

he's among friends can i cheer him up

more circus freaks bessie had you sized

up oh

yeah dear old bets hey you remember the

time she sent me down to the bar to

change the ten dollar bill for it oh do

i oh

she could have taken a bite out of the

stove lid when she found it out

i was your surprise when she asked me to

change that pen spot you know

that's usually had better sense but wow

she's in a hurry to get to church you

know

i really didn't mean to do it but you

know the second season was going to

begin soon and i need a little practice

to keep my hand in

i said to her i said i'm sorry i had to

take it

all out in dimes i here yeah

hold out your hand now and i'll count it

out for you so you won't be kicking

afterwards that i sure changed you 10 20

30 20 50 60 70 80 90 a dollar 10

20 30 40 50 60. now you come with me

aren't you best 80 92

10 20 those are pretty shoes you got on

best 40 50 70 80 93

10 20 30 hey that's a nice little hat

you got on death

50 70 80 94 10 20 30 50 70 80 90.

hey that's a swell looking shampoo you

got

there say look very becoming six dollars

and so on oh well i'm a bum at it now

cause i'm out of practice but

you know back in those days i could

assure change to keep her at a minute

well the hell of a guy you are

bragging how you shortchanged your old

sister

oh gosh you know

thinking of the old ticket wagon brings

those days back

again it was the greatest life on earth

that was the greatest show on earth

the grandest bunch of regular guys ever

gathered under one tip

i'd sure like to shake their hands again

they'd have

guns in there they'd shoot you on site

but you've touched every damn one of

them you've even borrowed fish from the

train seals

and peanuts from every elephant that

remembered you

yeah you know harry though i made up my

mind i mean i'm gonna

i'm gonna see the boss in a couple of

days and i'm gonna ask for my job back

well they know for sanji's hanging

around here now taking care of you

shoeing away your snakes i don't even

get an eye opener for my trouble

no you can go to hell or the circus for

all i care and that damn good riddance

i wonder what the hell happened to

hickey i hope he'll show up

oh he's always good for a million funny

stories

you know you and these other bums are

beginning to give me the graveyard

phantoms

i sure could do a laugh with hickey

remember that gaggie always pulls about

his wife for the ice man

he'd make a cat laugh

[Laughter]

opening time boss

why don't you go to bed boss hickey

never turn up this time of the morning

there's somebody coming loud oh that's

only my two pigs

it's about time they showed up

[Music]

i'm waiting impatiently for the end

who's the new guy friend of yours

hey kid you want to have a good time

he's passed out to hell with

him come on will you cut out the noise

sit down before i not get down

well how do you train to do

pretty good yeah picked up a couple of

all-night guys

and sixth avenue boobs and the sticks

cinco the bulk of them

we thought we'd in luck we stared into a

real hotel we figured they just think of

the bottle as much and we could couple

good night's sleep and beds that ain't

got cobblestones in the mattress like

the ones in this thumb

yeah we've had a lot though they didn't

bother us much that way you know

but they won't go to sleep neither gee i

never heard such a couple of the gabby

guys

they got onto politics drinking out the

bottle they forget where's around

uh the bulmosis is the only regular guys

one guy says

and the other one says uh i'm a

republican and you're a liar

and then they laugh yeah and then they

they make a bluff like they're going to

scrap

and then they make up and then they fly

and then they laughing in this thing

school days and you're just trying to

sleep with that on the phone

oh maybe you think we wasn't glad when

the hostage came and told us to take the

air huh yeah until we told the guys we

made them around the corner

yeah so here we are yeah i

see it but i don't see no though yet hey

right on a job anymore yeah a little

business man that's him

come on dick pipe i'm keeping cases

you scared we're holding that on him the

way he grabs you think it was him done

awake

[Music]

all right here you are

i hope it chokes you

oh you're dumb baby dog give me obtain

well geez what's the difference huh

i didn't mean that rocky a lot of

difference get me all right don't get

sore can't you take a little kitten

oh come on rocky paul was only kidding

we know you got a regular job that's why

we like you still you don't live office

you're a bartender

sure i'm a bartender anyway we wouldn't

keep no pimp like we're regular old

we ain't that bad

but that's all yeah cora got back around

three o'clock

she woke up chuck and dragged him out of

the hay to go to a chop suey joint

imagine him standing for that stuff

because they've been sitting around

skidding themselves with an old pipe

dream about

getting married settling down on the

farm

when chuck's on the web and then

definitely off that door with that silly

grin on his ugly map

and corey giggling like she was in

grammar school

and her on the stars long before you and

me ever wanted yeah of all the five

dreams in this dump they got the

nuttiest

what would getting married get but that

farm stuff was the sappiest part

when both of them was dragged up on his

sword and they'd never been near a farm

than

coney island they'd get dts if they ever

heard of qriket choice

can you picture a good bar keep like

chuck digging spuds

and i'm not you know who a hustle in a

cow's home ain't not a sweet faker happy

birthday

oh sure that's all i meant to talk hey i

mentioned cora don't know which end of

the cow has got the horns on

hey i'm gonna ask well here's your

chance there's them two nuts now

jesus on a rainy sunday night

hello wise guy

[Music]

ain't you crooked yet well i did carla

it was damn tiring was waiting for the

end

oh go on you'll never die you'll have to

hire somebody to protect you with an

ass when you cut out the noise

the hell do you think it is a catholic

harry such language

oh i bet that's he's turning over in her

i thought this dump was a hooker hang

out i would have never come here

you seem to be down on the ladies i hate

everyone that ever lived they're all

alike

well you can understand how i feel can't

you larry when it was getting mixed up

with that tart that made me have that

fight with mother

hey who's the guy with larry a tight

what the hell would him

say quarter wipe me up on something huh

what time did the cow have got the horns

on

[Music]

you've got nothing on us oh man this big

has been scrapping a bonus

he says josie's the best place i say

long island because then we'll be there

call me

and i said to him how do i know you're

off periodicals for life

i don't give a damn how drunk you get

the way we are but i don't want to get

married

to no smoke and i tells her i'm off this

stuff for life yeah

then she beefs she won't be married a

month before i'll throw it in the face

she was a toddler

jeez baby i tell you why should i what

the hell do you think i think i'm

marrying a virgin

why should i beef as long as you lay off

it and don't do no cheating with the ice

man

that's on a level baby i'll go on your

picture

i'll buy a drink i'll do anything oh no

no this round's on me i run into luck

yeah that's why greg chuck got in bed to

celebrate

that's a sailor i got 12 bucks

come on rocky set him up

well that's what we're all wondering we

should be here by now me and chuck cena

you see nikki

i bought a boss boss come too

come to chorus c hickey

right on the corner he was just standing

there we said to him

welcome to our city the gang's expecting

you with their tongue's hanging out a

yard long

and uh he just said tell the gang i'll

be along

in a minute but you know he was funny

somehow

he was different to something sure he

was sober baby

oh the dumbest broad i've ever seen

sober now that's funny he always managed

to lap up a good starter before he got

here

well he won't be sober alone he'll be

good all right for my birthday party

tonight

you know fellas i'll bet he's thought up

some new gag for us

now we must all pretend to let him kill

us

then we'll kill the fans of them

hey do you get it brother rocky bring on

the red poison

oh it's always fair weather when good

fellows get together

and another little drink will not do us

[Music]

oh you know this dog brought here said

you changed

but you have another bit you're the same

old nikki

you know you look like a million dollars

the same old rules ah thanks rocky i

think i'll go up in a while and

grab a snooze i haven't been able to

sleep lately i'm tired as hell

a couple hours of good kip will fix me

all right well it's the first time i

ever heard you worry about sleep

damn it man you never would go to bed

here

get a couple of slugs under your belt

and you'll forget all about sleep

buddy right here drink party boys and

girls

hey hey is that some new stunt

drink of the chaser first no no i forgot

to tell rocky

uh you'll have to excuse me boys and

girls but i'm off the stuff

for keith

join the salvation army be the elected

president of the wcga

oh rocky rocky take away the bottle we

don't want to tempt the man into sin

[Music]

you don't think i come around here

peddling some brand of temperance bunk

do you know

you know me better than that just

because i'm off this stuff doesn't mean

i've gone prohibition

not that i'm grateful no the only reason

i quit is

well i finally had the guts to face

myself and throw overboard the damn lion

pipe dream that was making me miserable

and then all at once i found i was at

peace with myself and i didn't need

booze anymore that's all there was to it

but what the hell don't let me be a wet

blanket making fool speeches about

[Music]

you know that that water wagon

hey cut out the action have a drink for

pete's sake

no act governor no ass you know you've

all been good pals to me

best friends i ever had i've been

thinking about you all the time i was

walking over here

walking do you mean to say you walk i

sure did all the way from the wilds of

darkest astoria

didn't make such bad time either see it

was going on 12 when i went in the

bedroom to tell evelyn i was leaving

six hours say

no less than that well anyway i was

standing on the corner quite a while

thinking about

how to save you no no

i didn't mean booze i meant saving you

from pipe dreams yeah you got to stop

lying about yourself and kidding

yourself

about tomorrow

but what's that hell this is beginning

to sound like some damn

sermon on the way to lead the good life

you have to get that part of it said my

blood i guess my old man used to whale

salvation into my heinie with a first

run

he was a preacher from the sticks of

indiana like i told you

when i love boys and girls don't look at

me as if i'm selling you some kind of

gold brick

i got under my sleeves huh

come on let's take an example

any one of you

uh let's take you governor that walk

around the ward you

never take well what about reply you

know as well as i do harry

everything about it gee i i'm going to

take i'm sure you're gonna take it

this time and i'm going to help you

because i know it's the one thing you've

got to do before you'll ever know

what real peace means and the same thing

with you jimmy

you've got to try and get your old job

back and know tomorrow

about it now now don't tell me jimmy i

know all about tomorrow i wrote the book

i don't understand you i admit i

foolishly delayed but

as it so happens i just made my mind

that as soon as i could get straight why

and that's the spirit you know you've

been damn kind to me jimmy

and i want to show you how grateful i am

and when it's all over

and you don't have to nag at yourself

anymore

but you're gonna be grateful of me

and all the rest of you ladies included

are in the same boat one way or another

and then you know you hit the nail on

the head

this dump is the powers of pipe dream

all the old grandstand philosophers

speak

you think you're the one big exception

hillary life

doesn't mean a dancer anymore you've

retired from the circus waiting

impatiently for the end the good old

long sleeve

well i think a hell of a lot of you

larry you old bastard i'll try to make

an honest man out of you too

what the devil are you hitting at higgy

well you don't have to ask me do you

have a wise old guy like you just ask

yourself i'll bet you know

oh he's got your number all right larry

get the stuff picky show the old faker

up

he can't sneak out of everything

hello a stranger in our midst

i don't think i noticed you before

brother my name's parrot

i'm an old friend of larry's

what are you staring at no offense

brother no thanks

just trying to figure haven't we met

before someplace

no this is my first time eating no

you're right

you're right but still i recognize

something about you

we're members of the same lodge in some

way

you're nuts what are you talking about

mind your own business peggy

there's nothing to you order me oh

yeah holding us in suspense

tell us more about how you're going to

save us yeah

hell larry don't get sore not at me i've

always liked you a hell of a lot

and i've always liked you too forget it

fine that's the spirit

well what's the matter everybody

what is this a funeral hmm

drink up a little action

that long walk must be getting me

i better go upstairs

yeah heck of a thing to go dead on you

like this

no sir boys and girls i never knew what

real peace was

until now oh it's a grand

feeling it's like when you're sick and

suffering like hell and the doc comes

and he gives you a shot in the arm and

the pain

goes to drift off

and let go of yourself at last let

yourself sink down to the bottom of the

sea

rest in peace no farther you have to go

not a single damned hope or dream

left the torment

all know what i mean when you

hmm excuse me boys and girls all in

then i grabbed 40 winks

drink up everybody

on me

gee that's a hell of a stunt go to sleep

on us

i can't figure hickey i'd still say he's

kidding us

what do you think jimmy he doesn't be a

change

but he'll probably be himself tomorrow i

mean

you know as soon as he wakes up he'll

make a mistake if you think he's only

kidding

i don't like that guy larry i'm going to

steer clear of him

so harry there was some sense to his

nonsense it is true i should get my job

back

so i hardly need him to remind you yeah

yeah

i ought to take that walk honey i don't

need no hickey to help me

see i got it all fixed for my birthday

tomorrow

well he's made two sales of his piece at

least

but you better make sure that it's the

real mccoy

and not poisoned you bunkhouse i won't

work hard

i'll have you to jump your ore in what

the hell do you mean poison

just because he got your number

see i don't get us he ain't like the old

hickey

ah he'll be a hell of a wet blanket my

birthday party tonight

which the hell he never showed up no

i'll give him time harry he'll come out

of it you know i've watched many a case

of almost

fatal t totalism but they all come out

of it you know completely cured drunk as

ever

you know in my opinion the force app is

temporarily bug house from

can't be too careful about work it's one

of the deadliest habits known to science

a great physician once told me yeah i

used to practice on street corners under

a torchlight he was positively the only

doctor

in the world to claim that rattlesnake

oil rubbed on the pratt could cure heart

failure

in three days i remember

saying to me oh he says you're naturally

delicate

but if you drink a pint of bad whiskey

every morning

before breakfast and never work

if you can help it why you may live to a

ripe old age

it's staying sober and working that cuts

men off in their pride

[Music]

is

[Applause]

[Music]

he strikes me as the only bloody

sensible medical i ever heard of i think

we ought to

appoint him house physician here without

a moment's delay

that's the spirit everybody don't let me

be a

wet blanket all i want

is to see you happy

thanks

how's that kid now what the hell do i

know about flowers well you can see

they're pretty can't you big dummy

yeah baby sure if you like them they're

okay with you

oh jeez tyler that's some cake huh

yeah hey look at six candles each for

ten years when do we like the candles

it's that bug out shaking he's elected

himself voice to this birthday rocket

just before harry comes down he said

geez ever since hickey woke up you can't

hold him he's taking on a party like it

was his birthday

no he's paying for everything ain't he

no i wish the loss never showed up

i hope he don't come back from that

delegate testing

he's getting everybody nuts he's got

harry and jimmy canara run ragged

and arrests are hiding in their room so

they won't have to listen to him

and they're getting kind of cagey with

the booze too like they were scared if

they get too drunk

they might spill their guts or something

and everybody's getting a

prize garage on yeah you think he

suspected me and chuck had no real

intention of getting married

we're gonna show him baby well we

decided

jersey's where we want to form and we're

going to get married there too because

you don't need no license there

and we're going to get married tomorrow

amy honey you bet baby

oh geez chuck are you letting that bug

out sickie

me neither and besides hickey's right if

this old

big is gonna marry me you ought to

do something about it not just shoot off

his whole bed zoo about it oh you can't

be that

dumb chuck you'll keep out of this

you and your crickets you'd think they

was elephants i don't listen to that

broad rock you heard what she said

tomorrow it's the same old crap

is that so steep imagine quarter of

bride

is that a hot one hey quarter

if all the guys you ever stayed with was

put side by side you could walk on them

from here to texas

you can't talk to me like that you fat

diego hooker

i may be a tot but i ain't

[Music]

what are your oh i suppose that means

you think i'm a too is that

it yeah and me no don't start nothing

i suppose it'd tickle you if margin me

was to do with that last hickey hinted

at and come right out of him until he

was who is all right what up but it's

the truth

all right all right all right we're

you know what that makes you don't you

look good no huh a lousy little pimp

that's why i follow

you a dirty little guinea

that is selfie ought to be he sure got

his number uh come on wake up come right

hugo

here's the revolution starting on all

sides of us and you're sleeping through

it

yeah tahiki the great nile as he started

a movement that'll

blow up the world

again and you think i have to shout

that out works fine hickey it thinks i'm

finished

it is too late so i do not wish the day

to come because it will not be my day

hmm

i see what he thinks

i will have him hang the first cannibal

to the first

lamppost

[Laughter]

why are you so serious this isn't monkey

faces

it's all

little stupid peoples

god

damn hickey it's he who makes me sleep

i want to sleep

gee hickey ain't missing no bets is he

he's even give you go to work i warned

you this morning that he wasn't kidding

i never seen a guy change so much

larry you always pretend to be such a

wise old fox about everything

what do you think has happened to him oh

i don't know with all his gabby's kept

that to himself so far i noticed

hell may be saving a great revelation

for harry's party

i don't give a damn what it is let him

mind his own business and all mine

but damn what happened to hickey i know

what's gonna happen if you don't watch

your stuff

i stole them i'll take a lot from you

hickey like everyone else in this dump

because you always been a grand guy but

there's things i don't take from you

no nobody remember see or you'll wake up

in the hospital

or maybe worse with your wife and the

ice man walking slow behind you

oh you shouldn't have made that ice man

crack lucky

it's all right for him to kid about it

but you

okay i noticed he ain't full of that

iceman keg this time hey

you suppose he really did catch his wife

cheating i don't mean with no ice man

but

with some guy oh that's the book he'd

have beat her up and gone on a waste

trunk he ever staged

like any other guy do you know rocky's

got the right dope baby he'd be

paralyzed you know i stripped some

people this dump

is his clothes for the night all i'm

gonna let harry hire a doorman and pay

him wages he wants yeah

harry's pretty damn good to you sure he

is

i don't mean that anyway it's all right

i've told schwartz the cop that we

closed for the party

and he'll keep folks away don't want me

a big drink that's what

but i have all you want on hickey yeah

i drink on him but i don't drink with

him no sir

never no more what's he done to you

sure he's all right with you

he's a white man ain't he now you listen

to me you white boys don't you

don't you get in your heads that i'm i'm

i'm pretending to be what i ain't or

or that i ain't proud to be what i am

the else you and me gonna have trouble

what a night you act nice to the guy and

he gets to swelled nuts

that ain't like a all over

i'm sorry i i didn't mean that you've

been good friends to me

i'm nuts i guess that hickey he'd get my

head all mixed up with

craziness oh is that that's all right

joe

the boys wasn't taking you serious

what'd i say hickey ain't missing nobody

even joe but you know

you can't help black in the last i mean

you gotta admit he's got the right dope

on

and some of the bums here you certainly

got one guy i know figured out anything

he certainly had put it on

here i am in the nick of time come on

give me a hand with these bundles

somebody

just gave me out of my skit sneaking in

like that sneaking why

me and the taxi man made enough noise

getting my big surprise in the hall a

week today

hey those bundles grub hickey you bought

enough here to feed an army it can't be

too much i want this to be the biggest

birthday party harry's ever had

hey chuck you and rocky go out in the

hall and get the big surprise

my arms is busted lugging it geez we got

his old

i got it as a treat for the three of you

more than anyone i said to myself i bet

this is what'll please those more

than anything

what's the matter you look sore what

i see but you know how i feel about that

okay he could let it slide

look here it comes

unveil it boys

when i run my gambling house i i drink

that bubbly water

and stein yeah and i'm gonna take it

that way again too as soon as i get my

steak

what do we drink it out of hickey well

joe has the right idea

schooners that's the spirit for harry's

birthday

beneath the wild tree that's the spirit

brother

and let the lousy slaves drink vinegar

damn liar

here he rotted ten years in prison for

his faith he's earned his dream

do you know decency or petty hello

what's this i thought you were in the

grandstand

now listen larry you're getting me all

wrong of course i have pity

but it isn't my own kind of pity the

kind yours is

the kind that lets itself off easy by

encouraging some poor guy to go on

kidding himself with a lie

the kind that leaves the poor slob worse

off because it makes him feel

guiltier than ever well i know all about

that kind of pity i got a belly full of

it in my time and it's all wrong

and you're going to be grateful to me

too larry when you can admit all at once

without being ashamed

that all that old grandstand philosopher

stopped and the waiting for the big

sleep is just a pipe read

you say to yourself i'm an old man who's

scared of life but even more scared of

dying

so i'm sitting here and getting drunk

and hanging on to life at any price

and then you'll know what real peace

means larry

because then you won't be scared of

either life or death anymore

you simply won't give a damn anymore

neither

damn if i'm not beginning to think

you've gone mad

you're all right hell

larry that's one way to talk to an old

pal is trying to help you

if you really wanted to die you'd just

take a hop off your fire escape wouldn't

you

and if you really were in the grandstand

you wouldn't go around pitying everyone

i know i know the truth is tough to take

it first it was for me too

and that's for my being bug house you

can't crawl out of it that way

yeah i'm too damn sane i can size guys

up and turn them inside out but i never

could

especially when they're strangers like

that parrot kid

he's licked larry i think there's only

one possible way out

you can help him to take that is if you

have the right

kind of pity for him i'm not advising

him

except to leave me out of his troubles

is nothing to me

you'll find he won't agree to that he'll

keep after you until

he makes you help him because he's got

to be punished

so he's can forgive himself

lick larry can't manage it alone and you

are the only one he can turn to the love

of god will you mind your own business

what do you know about him anyway he's

probably spoken to you no no you're

right

and i do know a lot about him just the

same i've had hell inside of me i can

spot it another

maybe that's what gives me the feeling

of something familiar about it

something between it's a woman

i know the symptoms and you're the boy

who's never wrong or you damn fool

his trouble is that he was brought up to

to revere the movement that's all and

he's lost his face

it's a shark but he's young and he'll

find another dream just as good

or as bad all right larry i'll let it go

with that

but i'm glad he's here because you'll

help me make you

wake up to yourself oh i've always liked

you a lot of you all bad

well well well not much time before 12.

come on let's get busy boys and girls oh

the cake all said and my presents

and yours girls and chucks and rocky oh

that's

fine harry's certainly been touched by

you thought of him i'll go up now and

root everyone out pearl you like the

candles on the cake when you hear us

coming and cora get ready to play

harry's favorite song

well come on hustle everybody we want

this to come off in style

i try to practice i ain't touched a box

i don't know

[Music]

oh

[Music]

and then it's the second feast of bill

shadow

with hickey to do the writing on the

wall

[Music]

no thanks not now i'm

but tapering off he means it was hell up

in that damn room larry the things i

imagine i thought i'd go crazy

but i gotta beat now by tomorrow morning

i'll be on the wagon

i'm gonna get my clothes back first

thing he's owning me the money

i'll do what i always said go to the

da's office he was a good friend of my

old man's

he knows that i really was a brilliant

law student

i know i can make good now that i'm off

the booze forever

i owe a lot to hickey he's made me wake

up to myself

it's not what he says it's what's behind

us what he hints

you'd think all i wanted to do with my

life was stay here and be drunk

i'll show you him my advice you

put the nearest bottle to your mouth

until you don't give a damn about your

kid

well that's fine advice i

i thought you were my friends

[Music]

yeah we take it from the beginning

[Music]

just came knocking at my door i opened

it up because i thought it was probably

you and he comes busting in

it makes me come downstairs i don't know

what for

i don't belong in this birthday

celebration

all i came here for was to find you i

warned you

did you make hickey mind his own

business i don't like that guy larry

the way he actually think he had

something on

but just right now he pets me on the

shoulder and he says

i know how it is son but you can't hide

from yourself not even here at the

bottom of the sea

what did he mean by that larry the hell

would i know

and then he grins and he says never mind

larry's getting wise to himself i think

you can rely on his health

in the end

he says you'll have to choose between

living and dying he'll never choose to

die as long as there's a breath left in

him

and then he grins like was a big joke on

you

what do you say to that larry nothing to

say except that you're a bigger damn

fool to listen to him than here

he's no fool you're concerned he's got

your number all right

i don't mean that

you know what i want most is to be

friends with you larry

i haven't a single friend left in the

world

i hope that you

you could be too without it hurting you

you ought to for mother's sake

[Music]

she really loved you larry and

you loved her too didn't you believe

what's dead in its grave

do you know harry that you're the one of

them all that she cared most about

she kid herself that you give up booze

and come back to the movement tomorrow

she's safe larry can't kill himself a

faith that he's given his life to

not without killing himself

about it larry was she right

i suppose what she really meant was to

come back to her

she was always getting herself mixed up

with a movement

but i'm sure she really must have loved

you larry

remember she wasn't even faithful to you

with that was she

that's why you walked out on her isn't

it i remember that last fight you had i

remember you got mad and you said i

don't like living with a if that's

what you mean

lie i never called her that i think

that's why she still respects you

because it was you who walked out on her

you were the one who beat her to it

well she got sick of all the others way

before they ever did of her i don't

think she cared much about them

she just had to keep on having lovers to

prove how free she was

that made home a lousy place

i got to feel them like you did about it

it was like living in some whorehouse

only worse because she didn't have to go

on making her sister she's your mother

have you no

shame please don't forget i've got to

talk to you i'll talk to hickey

he won't leave me alone i feel he knows

anyway

but i hate his guts i'm scared of it

it's just something not human behind

that damn grinning and kidding

you feel that too

i can't go on like this larry i've got

to tell you

all right i won't please don't go

who the hell do you think you're kidding

i know damn well you guessed

guess nothing but i want you to guess

[Music]

i know now since he's been after me that

i meant for you to guess right from the

very start

that's why i came to you

once you understand the reason larry

see i begin studying american history

and i got admiring guys like washington

jefferson and lincoln and jackson

and i began to feel patriotic and really

really love this country

stinking liar

do you think you can fool me with such

such hypocrites

i don't give a damn what it is that you

did it's on your head whatever it was

i don't know what it was and i won't

know i just didn't think they would

catch her please believe that you know i

never would have done such a thing

all i know is that i'm sick of life

and through forgotten myself

and drowned and contented on the bottom

of a bottle honor dishonored faith

treachery or nothing to me

but the opposites of the same stupidity

in the end they rot

and die in the same grave so go away

waste your breath

forgotten your mother

the whole philosopher

are you lousy old faker wait till heck

you get through with you

oh hi there taipod kid

you probably joined the party any

bashful purse

yeah especially with adults

[Music]

time mistake you're faced bout on

harry's birthday party

what started this crap nothing left

nothing

this is our business after all the

glasses

ass hickey he made some insinuation

about me and that glorious boy had the

impertinence to agree with but i'll

that's a lie hickey made a joke about me

and that lousy limey said it for stones

sit down i'm something and cut out this

rough stuff

harry's party begins in a minute and we

don't want no sore heads around

very well in deference the occasion

i apologize general wetjern provided

that you do also

all right captain lewis in that case

i also apologize because harley is my

good friend

oh what the hell if you can't do better

than that oh so here come the two star

borders

this time it's serious that hickey's got

hurry on the hip and and it won't do

us no good if he gets him to take that

walk tomorrow ah

you're damn right you know harry and

mosey down around the ward dropping in

on everybody he knew when you know

they'll give him a phony glad hand and

tons of good advice

and what a sucker he is to put up with

us be sure to call on bessie's relations

to do a little crying over poor dear

bessie

you know what that bitchner family

thought of me now remember lieutenant

you're speaking to my sister dear bessie

wasn't the

she was the queen of them all and

if you think my loving relatives are

going to have time to discuss you or you

don't know them they're going to be too

busy telling harry

what a drunken crook i am and how you

want to have me put up and sing singers

um once bessie's relations get their

hooks and i'll be as tough for us as if

she wasn't gone

yeah harry's getting old he'll be an

easy mark for those grafters

oh hell mac we're saps to worry harry's

been pulling that bluff about taking a

walk

every birthday he's had for 20 years

yeah but hickey wasn't sticking him on

those times just the opposite

oh well i don't care whether he goes or

not

i'm getting out of here tomorrow anyway

i'm just sorry for you mac

oh you needn't be am i leaving myself i

was just feeling sorry for you

yes sir my mind is made up i feel the

call of the old carefree circus life

again boy

right in my blood i'm gonna see the boss

tomorrow

you know it's late this season but he'll

be glad to put me on boy won't that old

gang be

tickled at that when they see me walk

right on the lot huh

maybe they got a rope handy

now listen mac i'm getting sick of you

kidding you are yeah

well i'm sick of you kidding me about

getting reinstated i'm tapering off and

in the morning i'll be fresh as a daisy

i'm going to go and have a private chin

with the commissioner and man alive when

the boys tell me

there's sugar galore these days and i'll

soon be riding around in a big red

automobile with loads of cash

hey hey one long hop put some fresh

peanut oil and laugh cook the

lieutenant another dozen pills it says

gold up night

one more track of you and i'm bashing

your feet

jesus party sit down and be

a all right tell them to lay off you lay

off me everything all set fine

harry's starting down now with jimmy and

you know what a hell of a time getting

them to move they'd rather stay hiding

up there kidding each other along

harry doesn't even want to remember it's

his birthday now

well here they come

light the candles get ready to play cora

chop rocky

bring the wine on come on stand up

everybody

oh i'm the dot it's 12. come on

everybody

with a happy birthday harry

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

i know you you're sneaking lying drummer

all of your friends what the hell do you

think you're doing

you'll be raised you want the cops to

close the joint

take away my license there you dumb turd

[Music]

what the hell do you think it is a

dollar cat house

gee that's where you belong

harry you don't want to take it out on

the gang just because you're upset with

yourself

you don't want to ball out the old gang

just when they're congratulating you on

your birthday do you hell that's no way

well they just doubled you

they know i was only kidding them they

know i

appreciate their congratulations don't

you fellas

i like you two bronze you you know i was

only kidding

you sure we know sure harry is the

greatest little kid

in this dump and that's saying something

look how he's kidded himself for 20

years

unless i'm wrong governor and i'm

betting or not

but will soon tomorrow morning

no by god it's this morning now this

morning yes

it's today at last jimmy oh i don't look

so scared i promised i'd help you

and don't understand you kind of

remember i'm fully capable of settling

my own affairs well isn't that exactly

what i want you to do

settle with yourself once and for all

only uh

watch out for the booze i mean not too

much from now on you

hey core what's the matter with that box

huh yeah

yeah come on cora oh come on cora play

some more

that was bessie's favorite tune she was

always thinking

oh gee it brings it all back i wish yes

we've all heard you tell us you thought

the world of a governor

well so i did everyone knows i did

if you tried the governor i didn't say

anything you're the only one who knows

the truth

about that his favorite tune was

lachlan she sang beautifully

she was beautiful she

she played the piano beautifully she had

a beautiful voice

you were lucky harry bessie died but

they're more

bitter sorrows than losing the woman one

loves by the hand of death oh

not jimmy you needn't go on well we all

know the story of how you came back to

cape town

and found her in the hay with a staff

officer we know you like to think that

that's what started you on the booze and

ruined your life

i'm starting to hurry will you kindly

keep up

my life is not ruined but i'll bet if

you admit the truth to yourself you'll

confess you were pretty sick of her

hating you for getting drunk

i bet you were really damned relieved

when she gave you such a good excuse

i know jimmy ah

ah that's what happened to the other

thingy

your old iceman joke came home to roost

did it

well you should have remembered the

truth of the old superstition

that you better watch out what you call

because in the end it'll come to you oh

is that a fact larry

then you better look out how you keep

calling for that old

big sleep

but what are we waiting for boys and

girls let's get the party rolling

chuck rocky bring on the big surprise

our governor

governor you're going to sit right over

here right at the head of the table

i will have your shot we will eat

the cake and drink champagne beneath

this wine is not fit to drink it's not

been properly eyes oh always the height

don't swell at heart huh you go

well god help us poor bums if you'd ever

get to telling us where to get off

you'd have been drinking our blood

beneath those zillow

bees wow

here's the toast ladies and gentlemen

here's to harry hope who's been a friend

in me

to everyone here's to the old governor

the best sport and the kindest biggest

hearted guy in the world

is wishing you all the luck there is

harry and long life

and happiness come on everybody to harry

bottoms up

i'm no good at making speeches all i can

say is

thanks thanks again to everyone for for

remembering me on my birthday

only don't think because i'm 60 i'd be a

bigger damn fool an easier mark than

ever

with you it's like hickey says this

is the start of a new day this jumps got

to be run like other dumps

so they can make some money and not just

break even

people have got to pay me what they owe

me

i'm not running an orphan asylum for

crooks and bums

not a damn tucker shanty either there

are no men's home

for lousy antichrist traps that ought to

be in jail

i'm sick of being played for a sucker

don't think you're kidding me right now

either

oh i know you're all giving me the laugh

behind my back

and thinking to yourselves the old iron

pipe dream and faker

we've heard his bull about taking a walk

around the ward for years

he's never make it he's yellow he ain't

got the guts

he's afraid he'll find out but i'll

show you bj and i show you two you lousy

son of a frying pan pressing butt

and that's the stuff eric that's exactly

what i want you to do

i am sorry i i lost my temper

i'm not feeling well i've i've got a

hell of a corruption

you're all as welcome as the flowers

admit

a sure boss you're always ace is what i

see

oh listen everybody i i guess this is

the spot where i owe it to you to do a

little explaining

and apologize for some of the rough

stuff i had to pull on you

but it simply had to be done you must

believe that

you know old hickey he was never one to

start trouble

but i had to this time for your own good

i had to make you help me with each

other

you see i saw what i had to do i

couldn't do alone not in the time at my

disposal

i knew when i came here i wouldn't be

able to stay with you long i'm

scheduled to leave on a long trip

but here's the point to again i would

never have acted the way i have if i

wasn't sure

it would be worth it to you in the end

when you're rid of that damn

guilt that makes you lie to yourselves

you're something you're not

and a remorse that nags at you and makes

you hide behind lousy pipe dreams about

tomorrow

you'll be in a today where there is no

yesterday or tomorrow to worry about you

won't give a damn what you

are anymore and i wouldn't say this

unless i know

brothers and sisters this piece is real

it is a fact i know because i got it

here right in front of you right now

well i guess that's about

all for me for the present boys and

girls so come on

let's get on with the party wait

i think it would help us pour

pipe-dreaming sinners

along the sawdust trail to salvation if

you told us now

what it was happened that converted you

to this great

piece of yours you didn't deny it when i

asked you about the iceman i noticed

did this great revelation of the evil

habit of dreaming about tomorrow come to

you

when you found out your wife was sick of

you

you've given hitler's larry i've noticed

he hasn't

shown his picture around this time

he hasn't got it the ice man took it

away from him yeah just

look at him who would blame her she must

be pretty hard up to fall for the ice

man

act like him advising chuck and me to

get married yeah he'd done so

good with it at least i can say marjorie

chose an officer and a gentleman

he's going to look at you he will shape

your sprouted horns like a bloody

antelope

bigger by god like a

[Applause]

[Laughter]

well i'm glad to see you're all getting

such good spirits for harry's birthday

party

even if the joke is on me hi i asked for

in the old days by pulling that iceman

gag on you

so go ahead and laugh all you like

well this forces my hand i guess you're

bringing up the subject of

heaven i didn't want to tell you yet

it's hardly an appropriate time i

wonder whether the party was over but

you're getting the wrong idea about

evelyn and i got to put a stop today

i'm sorry to tell you my daily beloved

wife is dead

i

felt he brought the touch of death on

him

forgive me i'd like to

cut out my dirty tongue

[Music]

oh now listen everybody

don't let this be a wet blanket

you're still getting me all wrong

there's no reason

you see i don't feel any grief

no i've got to be glad for her say

because now she's at peace

she's rid of me at last hell i don't

have to tell you

you all know what i was like you can

imagine what she went through married to

a no good

cheater and drunk like i was but now

she's at

peace where she's always long to be

so why should i feel sad she wouldn't

want me to feel sad

my all that evelyn ever wanted out of

life

was to make me happy

uh trying to stop to let chuck keep me

into working this time so he could take

the morning off

but i got sick and tired of arguing with

my says all right get married what's it

to me

not icky's got both of them books

some party last night huh geez what a

funeral

it was jinx from the start but he's

telling about his wife croak and put the

ko on it

yeah it turned out i wasn't the birthday

feast but awake

and all the gang sneaking upstairs

leaving three bulls and eats like they

was poisoned

it didn't do them no good if they

thought they'd shake him he's been

hopping from loop the room all night you

can't stop him

he's got his reform wave going strong

this morning

did you notice him drag jimmy out the

first thing to get his laundry and his

clothes pressed

so he wouldn't have an excuse and all

the rest have been brushing and shaving

themselves with these shakes

and he didn't come to my room he's

afraid i might ask him a few questions

yeah don't look to me he was scared of

you

i'd say you were scared of him he'd lie

that don't let him kid you rocky he kept

his door locked i couldn't get in either

yeah who do you think you're kidding

larry he showed you up far right

like he says if you were so anxious to

cloak

why didn't you hop off your fire escape

long ago because it would be a coward's

quitting that's why

he's all quitter rocky you lie

remember when i went to get a license

like him the bums rush larry if you

don't want a nobody else don't

i'll let him stay i don't mind him he's

nothing to me

you're right i have nowhere else to go

now

you're the only one i have left to turn

to yeah you're a soft old sock larry

these are no good louse like hickey you

don't belong

i'm on

i'm sorry for riding you larry

but you get my goat when you act as if

you don't give a damn about what

happened to me and you keep your door

locked so i can't even talk to you

but but that was to keep hickey out

wasn't it i don't blame you

i'm getting to hate him i'm getting more

and more scared of him

especially since he told us his wife was

dead

it's that queer feeling he gives me that

i mixed up with him in some way

i don't know why but it started me

thinking about mother

as if she were dead

i suppose she might as well be

inside herself i mean it must kill her

when she thinks about me

after all i'm her only kid

do you know larry i once had the

sneaking suspicion that if the truth

were really known you were my father

hey a damn fool put that insane idea in

your head you know it's a lie why anyone

on the coast crowd could tell you that i

never laid eyes on your mother until

after you were born well i'd hardly ask

them would i

you're right i know because i asked her

she brought me up to be frank and ask

her anything

she'd always tell me the truth

no but i was talking about how she must

feel about me now

the movement is her life it must be the

final knockout for her if she was to

know that i was the one who sold shut up

it'll kill her

and i'm sure she knows it must have been

me

but i never thought the cubs would get

her

please believe that

oh i know i'll admit what i told you

last night was a lie all that

bunk about my getting patriotic and my

duty to my country

but here's the true reason larry

the only reason it

was just for money i got stuck in a

broad and i want to go to blowing in and

have a good time

that's all i did it for just

what money hell is it to me anyway

what's coming off me nothing

is gabby young punk is talking my ear

off that's all he's the worst pets from

hickey

oh yeah hey what do you mean about them

being scared you'd ask them questions

what question

i think he's hiding something that's

right you notice he didn't say what his

wife died of

oh lay off without the poor guy what are

you getting out anyway

you don't think it's just a gag of these

i don't know

damn sure that he brought death here

with it i could feel the cold touch of

it on him

oh bunk you got croaking on a brain old

cemetery

say do you mean she committed suicide on

a kind of was cheating or something

wouldn't surprise me i'd be the last of

lemon but that's crazy

geez if he thought that he wouldn't tell

us he was glad about it would he

he ain't that big of a bastard is he you

know better than that larry

you know she'd never commit suicide

she's like you she'll hang on to life

even when they're not about you

yeah any guts or decency well i suppose

i take that hop off that fire escape you

too yellow to take

oh my judge i'm through with judging

i suppose you'd like that what the hell

is this about what do you know about if

his wife

how do you know what she did he doesn't

think he's added what little brains he's

got show him back to his table

and i'm sick of him you heard larry

unlike an excuse to give you a good

punch in the snooze don't move quick

if you think moving will get rid of me

committed suicide you better feel sorry

for hickey huh

you can understand how we go bug house

and i'll be responsible for all the

crazy stunts he's staging here

but how can you feel sorry for him when

you know he says he's glad she'd done it

and you can tell he means

nuts i don't get nowhere trying to

figure this game

but i notice you better lay off for me

in my stable

oh gee larry what a night them two pigs

give me

when the party went dead they pinched a

couple of bottles and brung it up their

room and got stinkled

i don't get a week of sleep see just as

i dropped off on a chair there they come

down looking for trouble

or else they raise hell upstairs

laughing and singing

so then i get scared to get the joint

piece then go up and tell them the can

of noise

and every time they call my frame with

the same old argument

so you where would he do your dirty

little guinea so

who was are we well we agree with hickey

about you see

you're nothing but a lousy when i

slap them

oh not beat them up like a pimp would

you slap them

but it don't do no good they keep

fighting over and over

she died get the ear right just thinking

of it

listen they say if we're who is we got a

right to have a regular pip

and not stand for no punk imitation

we're sick of wearing out our dogs found

in sidewalks for a double crossing

bartender when all the things we get is

he looks down on us

we're going to find us a guy who really

needs us to take care of him and ain't

ashamed of it

we're going on strike and you can like

it all up but

who is going on strike can you thailand

they'd say we're taking a holiday we're

going to beat at the coney island and

shoot the shoots or maybe we'll come

back and maybe we won't and you can go

to hell

so they put on their lids and beat it

the boat that i'm stinking

rocky

cora wants a sherry flip

for her knives sherry flip she don't

need nothing for unknown

what does she think this is the wolf dog

i told her what will we use for sherry

there wasn't a leg unless she laid one

just is there a law you can't go out and

buy the makings your big

what the hell would you drink booze or

not oh gee the guy ought to buy his

bride anything on a wedding day she

wants i should think

pipe the black room larry all dolled up

for the killing ah

shut up one day on that farm in jersey

that's what i'll give you

then you'll come running in there some

night yelling for a shot of booze

because the qrikets is after you geez

chuck

that lousy hickey certainly made a prize

couple of suckers out of you

what's he got to do with it and we

always said we was going to well we're

going to see

i don't give me no arguments

core only give me a minute's rest all

night

same old stuff over and over do i really

want to marry her

i said sure baby why not she's yeah but

after week you'll be thinking what a

sappy was

you make that an excuse to go off on a

periodical and then i'll be tied for

life to a no good soak

and the first thing i know you'll have

me out hustling again your own wife

and she busts out crying that makes me

mad

i say i wish i was drunk right now

cause if i was you wouldn't keep me

awake all night beefing

you open your yap and i knocked the

stuffing out of you

and she held that sweet way to talk to

the girl you're gonna marry

oh gee she's got me hanging by the ropes

i wish i had a quarter

well why the hell don't you oh you'd

like that wouldn't you

oh wise to you you don't want to see me

get married and settle down like a

regular guy

you'd like me to stay paralyzed all the

times i could be like you

a lousy pimp listen i don't take that

even from you see

oh you want to make something of it no

don't

make me laugh you see i uh

i can beat ten of you with one mic now

what light in your belly you want

a chuck rocky come on cut it out

i'll cut your guts out you dirty that's

it go on murder each other your damn

crazy loons with hickey's blessing

didn't i tell you he brought death here

with him huh

all right you let go of that shiver now

put this god away

hello little people never mind

soon you will eat hot dogs release

abilities

and drink free wine

that champagne was not properly iced

damn liar hickey does that

prove i want to be aristocrat i love

only the proletariats

i believe them i will be like a god to

them

they will be my slave oh

i really drunk already i talk

i don't know what i say yes you're

raving drunk you go

i've never seen you so plastered

lay your head down sleep it off yeah he

should sleep crazy

the bread's cutting my job's finished do

i get the drink ironed

i'm finished with this dump for keeps

there's a key to my room ain't coming

back

i'm going to my own folks where i belong

i don't stay where i ain't wanted

sick and tired of messing around with

white men

what though i'm just saving you to

trouble white boy now you don't have to

break it soon as my back's turned

so no white male kick about drinking

from the same glass

tired of loping around with a lot of fun

i'm a gambling man

i'm gonna get in a big crap game yeah

now i'm gonna win me a big bankroll

and i'm gonna come back here after i get

my my my gambling house open

for colored men i'm gonna visit the bums

yeah

maybe i'll throw a 20 bill on the bar

and i say drink it up

and listen while you pat me on the back

and you say joe

you sure is white but i'll say no

i'm black and my dough is black man's

dough and you proud to drink with me

else you don't get no dough no don't go

drink

or maybe i'll just say you can all go to

hell i don't i don't lower myself

drinking with no white trash

i'll get the dough for my for for my

steak today somehow somewhere

if i gotta if i gotta borrow a gun

someplace and stick up some white man

i get it you wait and see

can you beat the knife of that dinge

i wasn't dressed up i'd go out and mop

up the street with him i'll

let him go emily's gambling out

he'll be coming back tonight asking our

referrer's room

and bombing me for a ball then i'll be

the one that smashed the glass

i'll load him his little place

oh here's another one all dolled up you

look sick willie

hey take a ball i'll pick you up thanks

the only way to stop is to stop

i have no chance if i went to the da's

office smelling of booze

are you really going there i said i was

didn't i

i came back here to rest a few minutes

not because i needed any booze

cheap drummer i don't have to have any

dutch courage

he's been very kind and considered

staking me

he can't help his insulting manner i

suppose

my feet are a bit shaky yet i better

rest for a few minutes

here's another one good morning

gentlemen all and it's only five

morning it is

yes uh

an eye opener no no no no eyes i think

i'm proud of you rocky eyes it's not

required oh charmer

i i feel extremely fit as a matter of

fact i can't say i slept much thanks to

that interfering ass hickey and that

stupid boundary of a bar

i read all about it all i can take from

my fellow

this was my own fault of course for

relying a brute of a dutch farm to

become familiar but

it's come to the parting of the ways now

and good riddance which reminds me

here's my key i

i shan't be coming back you know oh no

sorry to believe good old harry and the

rest of you but i

i cannot bear to spend another day under

the same roof with that

oh good so ricky scared the pants off

for you too huh

you think you're leaving here huh yeah

that's what he kids himself yes i am

leaving his

but that ass hickey has nothing to do

with it i've been thinking things over

it's time i

turned over a new leaf he's going to get

a chop

that's what he says why not all right

well

anything nothing manual of course

anything requires a little bit of brains

and education there's a

hell of mine at the consulate he

promised at any time i felt an energetic

that he'd uh

will you get me a purse for the cunard

uh clark in the office something they

call it sort of

yeah they'll be constantly promised him

anything to get rid of him

afraid to call the police and have been

pinched who feared what a scandal make

about a

limey officer and a gentleman as a

matter of fact rocky i only wish

supposed to temporarily means to an

engineer save up enough for a

first-class passage

yeah he's going to sail away to home

sweet home that's the biggest pipe dream

of them all

but little brains that poor limey has

that whiskey hasn't

mixed up that hickey has made crazy

yeah hickey ain't made no sucker out of

you huh you're too foxy

but you think you're going out and land

a job too i

am yeah and for me it's easy

because i put on no ears of gentlemen

i'm not afraid to work with my hands

there was a rumor in south africa rocky

that a certain boar officer if you can

call the leaders of the rebel of

farmer's offices

kept advising cronje to retreat and not

to stand and fight

i was right he was surrounded by the

best

he had to surrender there good strategy

but

a suspicion grew into a conviction among

the boys that the

officer's caution was prompted by a

desire to make his personal escape

who his countrymen were extremely savage

about it and his family

disowned him so i imagine there would be

no welcoming committee waiting on the

dock for him

nor delighted relatives making the felt

ring with their happy crew i should have

been our

lies you hut for dump the nimey

i too there were rumors about a limey

officer and a gentleman who after the

war

gambled away all his money when he was

drunk

only it was legitimate money he gambled

you can see that hickey hasn't the

miraculous

touch to raise the dead when he can

start the boar war raging again

yes well well it's just uh time i was on

my

merry way to see the chap of the

consulate the early bird catches the job

what

yes well um goodbye rock here and good

luck everyone

if that bloody limey can go i can

go

well why don't you beat it

well i i i just happen to think i mean

it's hardly the decent thing to pop off

without saying goodbye to good old harry

i mean he's

he's one of the best little harry and

good old jimmy too well

they ought to be down at any moment huh

i'm sorry i seem to be blocking your way

out

oh no no no no i just wait to say

goodbye to

harry and jimmy too

see can you beat them sips

no i forgot cory should be drawing a

fist

that's right white honor and spoiler

your poor

sap

okay parrot i'd like to have a talk with

you

what about about the trouble you're in i

know you don't admit it

you're quite right that's my advice deny

everything keep your mouth shut

make no statements whatever without

first consulting your attorney what the

hell they can trust me

i'm a lawyer and it just occurred to me

that you and i ought to cooperate

of course i'm going to the da's office

this morning to see about a job on his

staff but that may take time

meanwhile it would be a good idea for me

to take a case or two on my own to prove

that my brilliant record in law school

was no flash in the pan

so why not retain me as your attorney

you're crazy what do i want

that's right don't admit anything but

you can trust me so let's not feed her

on the bush huh

remember they get you in i know from my

father's experience

no one could have felt safer than him

when anybody mentioned the law he nearly

died laughing

did you get that larry this damn fool

thinks the cops are after me i wish the

guy they were and so should you if you

had the honor of a loss

and you're the guy who kids himself he's

through with the movement

why are you lying oh faker you're still

in love with it

and you're not in any trouble parrot i

was hoping that uh

it's all right no offense meant forget

it oh no that's all right willie i'm not

sure it's you

it's this damned old faker that gets my

goat

it's really mother you still love isn't

it

but i can understand how you still can't

help feeding

because i love her too you know i do

don't you

so you see i couldn't have expected that

that they would be caught

you got to believe me it was just to get

a few lousy dollars to blow in on abroad

and no for the reason honest that's all

i did it for

love oh god i told you can't make me

judge you

if you don't keep quiet you'll be saying

something soon will make you vomit your

own soul

i could drink a rock that won't stay

down to hell with you

please larry

you've got to help me shut him up rocky

i swore i'd have no drinks with hickey

if i died at droughts but i've changed

my mind

and he owes it to me and i'd get blind

to the world today if it was

the ice man of death himself treating

let me say that i wonder

janet's hitch

deaths was the iceman that hickey called

to his home

[Music]

well good morning rocky hello larry

boy i'm glad to see that brother hickey

hasn't corrupted you the temperance

oh i wouldn't mind a shot myself no no

much as i needed

after the hell of the night i spent with

that drummer summoned of a drummer you

know that i have to lock him out

but i can still hear him doing this

field through the door all night long he

was still at it with harry and jimmy

when i came down just now

oh but the hardest to take was that

flannel my flat foot mate fighter tell

me when to get off and lock him out too

he's a liar rocky cause me locked him

out

you're just the man i want to see if i'm

to handle your case we better have a

talk before we leave

we'll have no talk you think i want your

father's son as my lawyer

they take one look at you and bounces

both out on our necks

i don't need a lawyer anyway all i can

do is see the right ones and get them to

pass the word along

they will too they know i was framed oh

god i'll be glad to leave this crazy

house there there's my key rocky and

here's mine

i'd rather sleep in the gutter than

spend another night under the same roof

with that loon hickey and a lying circus

grifter

if that hat fits anyone here let him put

it on why you

rocky take it easy

the boys give me a pain it's saved me

i'm right if i wouldn't give you the

keys back to you tonight

hello everybody

you wake up

we better beat it if we're really going

so we're we're showing that no good

drummer and we honey uh he's upstairs

with

harry and jimmy she

seemed to look like they was going to

the electric

yeah well i i i say we stop at the first

regular dump we come to

and you've gotta blow me to a sherry

flip

oh four or five if i want them

all off now you've got a big bun on now

i know i know what's eating you

tight water i will use my doughnut

you take it all right after the ceremony

anyway so i know you hear you keep your

lousy stuff

don't show off your legs to these bums

when you're going to be married if you

don't want to suck in a puss

why don't you fall fly come to the

wedding

wow here we go guys

hey whatever rocky what are you

you you d for something i said chuck and

me was going

well goodbye give my love to jersey

aren't you going to wish us happiness

your dirty little guinea

sure is hoping you don't murder each

other before next week

come on what do we care for that pimp

here's hooky coming out let's get out of

here

one regular guy and an all-right todd

gonna help

hiki or to be cruel well here we are

we got this far at least good work jimmy

i told you you weren't half as sick as

you pretended no excuse whatever

thank you for taking your hands off me i

merely mentioned that i i feel more fit

tomorrow

well i enjoy me today finish it

now so it'll be dead forever and you can

be free

oh cheer up governor you found your

rheumatism didn't bother you coming

downstairs didn't you hi

the damnedest one of our alibis governor

jimmy

i said can't hear you you're a liar

i've had roommates are more phenomenal

for the last 20 years

ever since bessie died everyone knows

that yes

everyone knows it's the kind of

rheumatism you turn off and on

ah we're on the you you old figure well

what was your bum staring at

i think he was watching a circus go on

go on off about your business i think he

told you

yes harry i certainly thought they'd

have the guts to be gone by this time

or maybe i did have my doubts because i

know

exactly what you're up against boys i

know how damn

yellow a man can be when it comes to

facing himself and yet as i told you

over and over it's exactly those damn

tomorrow dreams

which keeps a man from making peace with

himself so you've got to kill him

like i did mine

well come on boys let's get moving

we'll start the ball rolling you

captain and you general you're nearest

the door

beside your old war heroes come on show

us some of that good old battle of

moderate spirit we've heard so much

about

well you can't sit around here all day

acting as if you were scared the street

outside would bite you

right you are mr bloody doozy parker

this time i was off ryan is stayed

behind saying

goodbye to you harry old chump goodbye

captain hope you have luck

more touch i'm banjo

what

all right if that lousy line it can go

i can go

next

come on ed it's a fine summer's day and

i'm sure the lure of the old circus lot

must be in your blood

[Laughter]

that's not a man

goodbye harry

[Laughter]

that lying grifter has the guts

all right harry thanks for all your

kindness bye william that's the way

willie the d.a is a busy man he can't

wait

all day for you you know

and now it's your turn jimmy old pal

uh-huh no no not jimmy you can't do that

to yourself why one drink on top of that

hangover in an empty stomach and you'll

be ori i

tomorrow i will tomorrow i'll i'll be

all right tomorrow

all right i'm going to take your hands

off me

it's the spirit you'll thank me when

it's all over

all set for an alcohol rub huh

no hard feelings i know how he feels

i've seen the day when if anyone

forced me to face the truth i shot him

dead

well uh governor jimmy made the grade

it's up to you

oh now come on harry if he's got the

guts to go through with it hurry along

oh i'd make up my mind about myself if i

was you larry and not bother over harry

he'll come through all right i promised

him that

he doesn't need anyone's bum pity

do you got me no pg you keep your nose

out of this larry

i've always been meaning to take this

walking time

what's to be scared of taking a quiet

stroll around my own ward

what's the weather like outside rocky

fine day boss

what it don't look fine to me look

there's all the rain cats and dogs any

minute

i know it's it's me eyes half blind

begins

makes things look black

i see it is a fine day now

too damned hot for walking if you ask me

oh well it might do me good

sweat some of the booze over me

oh i've got to watch out for them

automobiles though you know

there was none of them around the last

time 20 years ago

and from what i can see of them from the

window there

they've run over you as soon as look at

you

well not that i'm scared of them well

able to look after myself

well solo fellows

well come on hickey it's time we got

started oh no harry can't be done you've

got to keep a date with yourself

alone well a hell of a guy you are i

thought you'd be willing to see me

across the street

seeing i'm half blind to death to

county of those damned automobiles

well to hell with you i've never needed

no one's help

and i don't know

you know what gets me hickey is i can't

help thinking

the last time i went through that door

it was to poor

bessie's funeral after she's gone

i didn't feel life was worth living

swore i'd never go out again

somehow it doesn't feel right for me to

go

even now mickey it's like as if i was

doing wrong to her memory governor you

can't let yourself get away with that

one anymore i remember now as clear as

day the last time

i it was just before it was a fine

sunday morning we was going out to

church

a great act governor a great act but you

know better and so do i

you never didn't want to go to church or

anyplace else with her she was always on

your neck making you go out and do

things

when all you wanted to do was get drunk

in peace you're the damn liar

for your outside

i go and shake hands with him rather

than stay here with you

[Applause]

he made it i'll give you

50 to one he's never make it oh

oh he stopped i'll bet you he'll be

coming back

he's coming back so are all the others

by the night they'll all be here again

yet dumbbell at the whole point

no he ain't needed he's gone to the

curtain

he's looking up and down sketch stiff of

automobiles

every morning to an hour comes down the

street the old boob

no it's my turn i suppose

you think when i say that i'm finished

with life then i'll welcome closing my

eyes in the long sleep of death

you think that's a coward's lie but what

do you think larry well i'm afraid to

live and i

i'm even more afraid to die so i sit

here with my

pride drowned in the bottom of a bottle

so that i can't see myself shaking in my

bridges with fright

or hear myself whining and praying

beloved christ

let me live a little longer if only for

a few days or a few hours even

have mercy almighty god let me still

clutch

greedily to my heart this this sweet

treasure

this jewel beyond price the dirty

stinking

bit of withered old flesh that's my

beautiful little life

you think you'll make me admit that to

myself

he can't play that on me like this he's

got to help me yes larry you've got to

settle with him i'm leaving you entirely

in his hands he'll do as good as that

job as i could make you give up that old

grandstand bluff

i'll see the two of you in hell jeez

harry's not across the street

he's gonna fool your icky

what the hell is he stopping for right

in the middle of the street

you think he was paralyzed or something

oh oh he's quitting he's

turned back it's easy look at that old

bastard travel here he comes

that scared me out of a year's growth

well that

that guy ought to be pinched oh it's

it's not

safe walking on the streets oh that

that ends it for me give me that bottle

you've seen it didn't your rocky seen

what

that automobile you dumb what you see

the guy driving it must be drunk or

crazy

need to run over me if i hadn't jumped

larry have a drink ah come on everybody

everybody have a drink

rocky have a cigar i know you hardly

ever touch it

this is one time i don't touch it i'm

gonna get stinkoc

if you don't like it you know what you

can do geez harry

i thought you had some guts i was

banging making a child up for pressure

up

automobile hell who do you think you're

kidding

there was no automobile you just quit

cold

fulfilling i also know it it almost

killed me

i'm not governor don't be foolish

you faced the test and come through

you're rid of all that nagging dream

stuff now you know you can't believe it

anymore

fairy you see that didn't you oh come on

have a drink larry

have all you want ah we we'll go on a

grand old sauce together larry

you you saw that automobile didn't you

larry

sure i saw it harry you had a narrow

escape his damn i

thought you were gonna what in the hell

is the matter with you larry

you know what i told you about the wrong

kind of pity leave harry alone

do you think i was trying to harm him

the full way you were my oldest friend

what kind of a louse do you think i am

there isn't anything i wouldn't do for

harry

all i'm trying to do is to fix it so

he'll finally be at peace with himself

for the rest of his days

and if you'll just wait until the final

returns are in you'll find out that's

exactly what i've done

come on now governor don't be stubborn

now that it's all over and dead

give up that ghost automobile

yes what's the use now

all of life there was no automobile

but something ran over me must have beat

myself

guess i sit down i

i feel all the

like a corpse

hello hugo coming up for air

stay passed out that's the right dope

great daddy cool willow trees

unless you grow your own little bottle

little harry little monkey face

favorite champagne beneath

but the slaves must i sit properly

rotten hickey petra pimp for new

rich capitalism when i lead the jackass

mob to the sack of babylon

i will make them hang him to olympus the

first one

good work i'll help pull on the rope

have a drink hugo

no thank you i'm too drunk now

i hear myself see crazy things do not

listen please

let me tell you i have never been so

crazy drunk

i must sleep it off

what's the matter here you look funny

you look dead what's the matter i don't

know you

this i feel i'm dying too because i'm so

crazy drunk

it's really necessary that i sleep i

can't sleep here with you

you look bad

another one has begun to enjoy your

peace all right

oh i know it's tough on him right now

but that's only the first

shock they'll both come through all

right

you believe that i see you do you mad

fool but of course i believe it i tell

you i

know from my own experience close that

big

clam of yours hickey you're a worse

gabber than that nagging

bessie ever was geez did you hear that

what's wrong with the booze there's no

light for this

geez larry you'll go hide it right he

does look like he croaked don't

be a damn fool give him time he'll come

through

all right

you're all right aren't you here i want

to pass out

like hugo it's the pace of death you

brought to life

you did manage to get a ride over there

that didn't you larry it's just that i

think such a hell of a lot of harry

how's it coming governor getting over

the first shock

relieved and not guilty anymore you'll

be

monkey with the booze too you

interfering bastard

there's no life in it anymore i want to

pass

out let's all pass out

well i admit i didn't think it was

hitting quite so hard

always been such a happy-go-lucky slob

like i was of course

it hit me hard too but only for a minute

and then i felt as if a ton of guilt had

been lifted off my mind

and i knew what had happened was the

only possible way

for the peace of all concern why does it

happen

tell us that don't have to get out of it

i want a straight answer i think it's

something you drove someone else to do

someone else how did your wife die i

noticed you kept that a pretty big

secret so far

for some reason well that's not very

considerate of you larry

but if you insist on knowing there's no

reason why you shouldn't

it was a bullet through the head that

killed evelyn

oh you drove your poor wife to suicide i

know it and then i don't blame her

i do almost as much myself to get rid of

you

it's what you'd like to drive us all to

do oh no

no i'm sorry

rotten allows to shove that on your

phone oh that's all right larry

but don't jump at conclusions i didn't

say poor evelyn committed suicide

why is the last thing she'd ever done as

long as i was alive for to take care of

and forgive

i mean if you've known her at all you'll

never get such a crazy suspicion

no i'm sorry to tell you my poor wife

was killed

she was murdered you're a liar larry

you must be crazy to say that to me you

know she's still alive

martyred who done it well that's

questions you don't love it's none of

our business leave hickey alone we'll

still

the old grandstand bluff hillary

or is it some more you bomb pity

police don't know who did it yet rocky

but i expect they will before

ah coming along fine now

together beginning to feel free

from lying hopes and guilt and at peace

somebody croaked your evelyn my pets are

on the ice man

and who the hell cares

what did you do to the bullseye there's

no life finish

look at me like that larry had to

believe what i told you

it had nothing to do with her

just to get a few lousy dollars

when you drink don't be fooled but no

more dying

it's not been properly iced you're

hunting

damn stupid paletarian slaves buy me a

drink i'll have you shout

so please but god's sake

i cannot sleep i am not empty enough

life is a crazy monkey face

always there's blood beneath the willow

trees

i

crazy

don't listen to me

you're beginning to worry me governor

something's holding you up somewhere

i don't see why you've done what you had

to do to get rid of your naggy pipe

cream

oh i know it knocks you cold but only

for a minute

and then you'll see it was the only

possible way to peace

and you'll feel happy like i did

so it worries me about you governor

it's time you began to feel happy

[Music]

yeah ain't you glad

what's it to you not a thing but this is

something to me

i'm out of my feet holding down your job

you said if i take your day it will

leave me at six

well the toughest one am when you're

taking over now get me

no matter how planted y'all lasted hell

i wished i was i laughed up a gallon but

it

don't hit me right at the hell with the

job

i'm telling harry i'm quitting

for the prize sap you've been tending by

when you got two good hustlers in your

stable

yeah but i ain't no suck now i'll

learn them when they get back from corny

i caught a show played you for a dope so

you

know marijuana farmhop

you got the right dope

what was that pulling them sherry flips

on me

woke me up

all the way walking to the ferry every

genma we come to she dragged me in

i got to thinking gee

what won't she want when she gets the

ring on her finger

and i'm hooked so i tells her at the

ferry

kiddo you can go to jersey

where the hell would count me out oh she

said it once i told you to go to hell

because you start hitting the booze

and i got to thinking too gee

won't i look sweet with a wife that if

you put all the guys she stayed with

side by side they reached the chicago

yeah and kind of dang you can't trust

him

minute your back is turned out cheating

with the iceman or somebody

picky waking me up

this is fun kinda mean cora

kidding ourselves there is that no good

bastard hickey

and i want just one sock in that guy

piano

kick away woman

i'm gonna take a chance on going to the

chair he ain't in now anyway

he went out the phone he said he

wouldn't call from here

but i got a hunch he beat it but if he

does come back you don't know my phone

anyone asked you get me

the chair maybe that's where he's going

i don't know nothing see

but it looks like he croaked his wife

you mean she really was cheating on him

and i don't blame the guy i don't give a

damn what he done to his wife

but if he gets the hot seat i won't go

into no morning

me neither and if this throwing it in my

face i'm a pimp

what if i am why the hell not what

you've done to her

see the poor old slob is so licked he

can't even get drunk

and all the gang they're all lit jimmy

tomorrow was the last

schwartz the copper brung him in saw him

sitting on a dock looking at the water

and crying

there ain't enough cuts left in a whole

gang bottle of mosquito

hey i see you've been hitting the red

eye too

yeah but it don't do no good i can't get

drunk right

that dirty thing was able to get a snow

full of passage

she even hickey can't phase a

you think he was faith she seen him come

in stinkle

and he pulled out a gun and said he

plugged hickey for insulting him

and then dropped it and begun to cry he

said he wasn't a gambler man or a

tough guy no more he was yelling he's

got no business in the bar

after hours why don't you chuck him out

oh the hell would it who cares

i don't

excuse me white boys excuse me

for living i don't stay where i ain't

wanted

my my pig's in the black room and she

well i'm gonna collect the dough i

wouldn't take this morning

like a sucker before she blows it yeah

i'm coming too

i'm true working i ain't no lousy but

if you object to my setting here captain

you just tell me and i'll pull them

afraid no apology requires your soul

something

anybody could tell you that i should

feel honored that a bloody cafe would

lower himself to suicide i'm waiting

baby

dick sure

i've been expecting i got it all ready

yeah jesus mentioned me kidding myself i

wanted a marriage

that's nothing baby imagine a sap might

have been

when i can get the dough just as easy

without it huh

hello there old cemetery

hello tiger you still are wrong

ask larry he knows i'm here all right

although he's pretending not to i'd like

to forget i'm alive

still trying to kid himself with that

old grandstand philosopher stuff

but he can't get away with it now

kept himself locked up in his room until

just a while ago

alone with a bottle of booze but he

couldn't make it work

he couldn't even get drunk

he just had to come out there must have

been something there he was even more

afraid to face than there was hickey and

me

i guess he got looking at the fire

escape thinking how handy it was if he

was really sick of life

and only had the gus to die

he's been thinking of me too rocky

trying to figure out a way to get out of

helping me

he doesn't want to be bothered

understanding

but he does understand all right

he used to love her too so he thinks

that

i ought to take that hop off that first

and the hell you're trying to make me

your executioner

execution then do you think that that's

what i don't think anything

what am i doing here we choose to

remember i had something on my mind what

oh i got it now i was thinking

i always bought regular guys i think

these two guys like them sucks to be

hanging around like a couple of stupid

bums and wasting themselves

oh not that i blame you for not working

all this suckers work

but there's no percentage of being broke

when you can grab good jack for yourself

and let someone else work for you is

that i mean like i do

am i right sure i am

so don't be a sucker see hey you ain't a

bad looking guy

you could make a hustler who's a good

gal

and start a stable and i'll help you and

wise you up to the inside dope on the

game

but what about it what if they do call

you dirty names what the hell are you

carrying more than i do

i'm through with all i wish they

were all in jail of death

you won't touch it huh all right stay a

bum she's larry he's one dumb boob manny

dead from the neck up he doesn't know a

good thing when he sees it

but i'll bite you larry you ain't so

dumb so why not huh holy all the

hustlers think you're racist

it'd be a pipe for you especially with

me to help you and wise y'all

you wouldn't have to worry where your

next drink's coming from or where dirty

clothes

well gonna look good to you

no it doesn't look good rocky i mean the

kind of piece that hickey's brought to

you

it isn't contented enough if you have to

make everyone else a pimp too

you must suck to waste my time on you as

stupid

as a stoop and you can't change them

you all ought to get drunken stage of

celebration when that bastard goes to

the jack

i'll celebrate with you and drink long

life to him in hell

oh the poor mad devil

oh pity again the wrong kind

he'd welcome the chair yes

are you so damn scared of death four i

don't want your lousy penny

gee i hope we don't come back larry

we don't know nothing now we're only

guessing see

but if that bastard keeps on talking

he'll come back and he'll keep on

talking he has to

he's lost confidence that the peace he

sold us is the real mccoy and it's made

him uneasy about his own

he'll have to prove the damn library

i haven't lost confidence a damn bit why

should i

by god whenever i made up my mind to

sell someone something i knew they ought

to want

i've sold them

i mean that isn't very kind of you larry

like a crack like that when i've been

doing my best to help keep away from me

i don't know nothing about you see

well well how are we coming along

everybody

i'm sorry i had to leave you for a while

but there was something i had to finally

get settled

it's all fixed now whether you're going

to do something about the

we all know you did something to take

the life out of it

it's like drinking dishwater we can't

pass out and you

on that damn nonsense you've kept it up

all afternoon and night now you got

everyone else singing the same damn

crazy tune

i've had about all i can stand that's

why

excuse me boys and girls i didn't mean

that i'm just worried about you when you

played dead on me like this i thought by

the time i got back you'd be like you

ought to be

hmm ah

but i've explained all that a million

times

you've all done what you needed to do by

right you should be carefree and

contented now

without a single damned hope or lying

dream left to torment you

but here you sit acting like a lot of

stiffs

cheating the undertaker i can't figure

unless it's just your damn pig-headed

stubbornness

all right hell don't act this way with

me gang

you're my old pal only friends i ever

have

you know the one thing i want is to see

you all happy before i go

damn little time left now we've got to

get busy

right now and find out what's wrong

oh can't you appreciate what you've got

for god's sake

can't you see you're free now to be

yourselves

without having to feel remorse or guilt

or lie to yourselves about reforming

tomorrow

there is no tomorrow now you're rid of

it forever you've

killed it you don't have to give a damn

what you are anymore

you've finally got the game of life

licked can't you see that

oh and why don't you get pie-eyed and

celebrate

why don't you laugh and sing sweet out

of life

[Music]

i got the only reason i can figure is

you're putting on this

rotten half dead act is just to get back

at me because you hate my guts

now don't do that to me gang makes me

feel like hell i think you hate me

it makes me feel you suspect i must have

hated you but that's a lie

i know i used to hate everyone in the

world i wasn't as rotten a bastard as i

was

but that was when i was living in hell

before i faced the truth

and saw the one possible way to free

poor evelyn

and give her the peace she'd always

dreamed about put a bag over it

to hell with evelyn what if she was

cheating

who the hell cares what you did to her

that's your funeral

we don't give a damn see all we want out

of you is

keep the hell away from us and give us

some rest uh

one possible way to make up to her for

all i'd made her go through

so she could be rid of me and i couldn't

make her suffer anymore

and she wouldn't have to forgive me

again now

i saw i couldn't do it by killing myself

as i'd wanted to for a long time that

had been the last straw to her she'd

have died of a broken heart that think i

did that to her she to blame herself too

and i saw i couldn't do it by just

running away she'd died of grief and

humiliation to think i could do that to

her

she'd have thought i stopped loving her

you see i love devlin

and evelyn loved me and that

was the trouble been so damned easy to

find a way out for her if she hadn't

loved me so much

or i hadn't loved her but as it was

there was only one possible way

i had to kill her

that fool can't you keep your mouth shut

we may hate you for what you've done to

us here this time

but we remember the other times when you

brought kindness and laughter instead of

death

we don't want to know anything that'll

make us help send you to the chair

shut up you yellow faker can't you face

a thing

wouldn't i deserve the chair too if i

it's worse if you kill someone and they

have to go on living i'd welcome the

chair

wipe it out and square me with myself i

wish you'd get rid of that

bastard larry i can't have him

pretending there's anything in common

between him and me it's what's in your

heart that counts

there was love in my heart not

it had nothing to do with her anyway ask

larry

stop shoving your rotten soul on my lap

ah i don't worry about the chair larry

i know it's still tough for you not to

be terrified by death

but when you've made peace with yourself

like i have you simply won't give a damn

hmm

now listen everybody i made up my mind

that the only way to clear things up for

you to show you how carefree

and contented you ought to be now that i

made you get rid of your pipe dreams

is to show you what a pipe dream did to

me and evelyn

and i'm certain if i tell you about it

from the beginning you'll appreciate

what i've done and why i did it

and how damn grateful you ought to be

instead of hating me well

you see even when we were kids everyone

and me

we don't want to hear it all we want is

to pass out

to the little teeth all right all right

if that's the way you feel about it i'm

not going to cram it down your throats

i don't have to tell anyone i don't feel

guilty

i'm just worried about you what did you

do to the boo

ziki that's what we'd like to hear

we all know you did something to take

the life out of it

ain't that right jimmy yes

it's an absurd lie all my nonsense about

tomorrow naturally they'd never give me

my position back

i wouldn't dream of asking them i'd be

hopeless

i didn't resign

i got fired for drunkenness

was years ago much worse now

it was observed me to excuse my

drunkenness by pretending it was my

wife's adultery that

ruined my life zicky guessed i was a

drunkard before that

long before

i discovered early in life that living

frightening when i was sober

i've forgotten why i married marjorie

i can't even remember she was pretty

she was a blonde i think but i i

couldn't swear to it

i had some idea of wanting a home

perhaps

why marjorie married me god knows

it's impossible to believe she loved me

she must have known

that i much preferred drink all night

with my pals

being in bed with her so naturally

she was unfaithful i didn't blame her

i really didn't care

i was glad to be free

even grateful to her i think for giving

me such a good

tragic excuse drink as much as a dan

will please

a guy named hickman in the back room

i think i know the names of all the guys

listen you mrs murder was hickman of

cellphone and so we can meet him here

around too

oh so that's who he fought too all right

if he asks for it he's that guy sitting

alone

if you want a confession all you got to

do is listen

he'll tell you all about it you can't

stop the bastard talking

i've got to tell you you're being like

you are now is all wrong

it gets my goat it puts things in my

mind about myself

it makes me think if i got bald up about

you

how do i know i didn't get bald up about

myself

and that is plain damn foolishness

why once you know the story of me and

evelyn you'll see there wasn't any other

possible way out of it for her sake

well i've got to start way back at the

beginning where you won't understand

you see even as a kid i was always

restless

had to keep on the go you know the old

saying minister sons or sons of guns oh

well that was me and then some home was

like a jail

and i didn't fall for that religious

bunk listening to my old man whooping up

hellfire and scaring those poor hoosier

suckers into shelling out their doe

handed me a laugh

although i had to hand it to him though

the way he sold him nothing for

something

i guess i'd take after him maybe such a

good salesman

well anyway as i said home was like a

jail and so is school

and so is that damned hit town the only

place i liked

was the pool rooms where i could smoke

sweet capitals and mop up a couple of

beers thinking i was a real hell on

wheel

it well we had one hooker shop in town

and of course i like that too

not that i hardly ever had the entrance

money my old man was a title bastard

but i used to like to sit around the

parlor and joke with the girls and they

like me because i could kid him along

and make him laugh well

you know how a small town is

everybody called me a no-good

well i didn't give a damn what they said

i hated everybody in that place

that is except evelyn

i love devil and even as a kid

and evelyn loved me i love mother larry

no matter what she did i still do

can't you say something yes sir as far

back as i can remember evelyn and i

loved each other

she always stuck up for me never would

believe the gossip or

she'd pretend she didn't no one could

convince her i was no good

evelyn was stubborn as hell once she

made her mind up

even when i'd admit

things and ask her forgiveness she'd

make excuses for me and defend me

against myself she'd kiss me

and she'd say she knew i didn't mean it

and i wouldn't do it again

and i promise i wouldn't i'd have to

promise

she was so sweet and good

even though i knew damn well

no sir you couldn't stop evelyn nothing

on earth

could shake her faith in me even i

couldn't

she was a sucker for a pipe dream

well naturally her family forbid her

seeing me they were one of the town's

best

rich even for that hickburg owned the

trolley line and the lumber company

strict methodist too and they hated my

guts

but they couldn't stop evelyn she'd

sneak notes to me

and meet me on the sly well i was

getting more restless and that town was

getting more like a jail and i made up

my mind i had to beat it now i knew what

i wanted to be by then

i'd met a lot of drummers around the

hotel and i liked him they were always

telling jokes

they were sports they kept on the move

and i liked the life

and i knew i could kid people and sell

things

but the hitch was getting the railroad

fair to the big town

so i told molly arlington my trouble

she was the madam of the cat house and

she liked me she laughed and she said

sure kid i'll bet on you i'll stake you

why would that grin on that line of

bully ought to be able to sell skunks

for good writers

i like molly she gave me confidence in

myself

and i paid her back too i remember the

first doe i ever earned i wrote her a

kidding letter saying i was peddling

baby carriages and she and the girls

ought to take advantage of our bargain

offer

[Laughter]

yeah that's getting ahead of my story

last night before i left town i had a

date with evelyn

it got all worked out i couldn't help it

she was so pretty and sweet and good so

i told her straight

you better forget me evelyn for your own

sake i'm no good and i never will be i'm

not fit to wipe your shoes

and i broke down and i cried

and she said looking all white and

scared

why teddy don't you love me anymore

and i said love you

god evelyn i love you more than anything

in the world

and she said what that's all that

matters teddy

because nothing but death can stop my

loving you

so i'll wait and when you're ready you

send for me and we'll get married

and i'll make you happy teddy

and when you're happy you won't want to

do any of the bad things you've done

anymore

and i said of course i won't ever and i

meant it

i believed it i loved her so much she

could make me believe anything

get it off your chest you long-winded

bastard

you caught her cheating with the iceman

and your croator

and who the hell cares so i

beat it to the big town i got a job easy

see and for me it was a cinch to make

good i had the knack

it was like a game sizing people up real

quick spotting what their pet pipe

dreams were and then kidding them along

that line

pretending you believed what they wanted

to believe about themselves

and then they liked you they trusted you

and they wanted to buy something to show

their gratitude

it was fun

still well i feel guilty as if i

shouldn't be having such a good time

away from evelyn

so in each of my letters i'd tell her

how i'd missed it but i'd warn her too

i tell her all my faults how i like my

boos and so on

but nothing could shake her faith in me

or her dreams of the future

and after each of her letters well

i'd be as full of faith as she was so

after i got enough

dough saved to get us started off right

i sent four

and we got mary oh god

wasn't i happy for a while and wasn't

she happy now look i don't care what

anyone says i'll bet there was never two

people more in love

than me and evelyn not only then

but always after in spite of everything

i did

well it's all there at the start

everything that happened afterwards

i never could learn to handle

temptation i'd want to reform and i'd

mean it i promised myself i promise

evelyn

i tell her it's the last time

and she'd say i know it's the last time

teddy

you'll never do it again

well that's what made it so hard it's

what

made me feel such a guilty skunk or

always forgiven me

my playing around with women for

instance it was only a harmless good

time to me it didn't mean anything

but i knew what it meant to evelyn so

i'd say to myself

never again but you know how it is

traveling around

those damn lousy hotel rooms

i guess so i see things in the wallpaper

lonely and homesick but at the same time

sick of home too i'd feel free i want to

celebrate a little

well i never did do any drinking on the

job so it had to be days

any tart what i'd want was some i

could be myself with without being

ashamed

someone i could tell a dirty joke to and

she'd laugh

she's all the lousy jokes i had to

listen to and pretend was funny

sometimes i'd try a joke i thought was a

quarter on evelyn

she'd make herself laugh but i could see

she thought it was dirty

not funny and she always knew about

the tarts i'd been with when i come home

from a trip

she'd kiss me and look in my eyes

and she'd know and i'd look in her eyes

and see how she was trying not to know

and then saying this up well even if

it's true

he couldn't help it he hasn't got me and

he's lonely they tempt him it's only his

body anyway he doesn't love them

i'm the only one he loves and she was

right

i never loved anyone else i couldn't if

i wanted to

well she even forgave me when it all had

to come out in the open

you know how it is when you keep on

taking chances

you get lucky for a while once you get

nicked in the end

i picked up a nail from some tartan

altoona

yeah and she picked it up from some guy

it's all in a game with hell well i had

to do an awful lot of lying and stalling

when i got home but it didn't do any

good

the quack i went to got all my dough and

then he told me i was cured but

i wasn't and poor evelyn

but anyway she did her best to make me

believe she fell for my lie

about how traveling men get things from

drinking cups

on trains anyway

she forgave me the same way she'd

forgive me when i'd show up from one of

my

periodical drunks and you all know what

i'd be like at the end of one of those

you've seen me

like something lying in a gutter no

alley cat would lower itself to drag in

like something they throw out of the dt

ward at bellevue along with a garbage

like something it ought to be dead

and isn't well evelyn wouldn't have hurt

me in a month or more she had been

waiting there alone at home with a

next-door neighbor shaking their heads

and feeling sorry for her out loud

that is before she got me to move to the

outskirts where there weren't any

next-door neighbors

and then one day the door would open

and in i'd stumble looking like what i

said

into her home which i kept so spotless

and clean

and i had promised it would never happen

again

and here i was swearing again

it's the last time

and i could see disgust

having a battle in her eyes with love

but love

always went out she chased me

as on nothing happened as though i just

come home

from a business trip

well christ

can you imagine the guilty scumption

made me feel

if she only admitted once that she

didn't believe any

more in her pipe dream that someday i'd

behaved

but she never would evelyn was stubborn

as hell

once she'd set her heart on anything you

couldn't shake her face

that it had to come true tomorrow

well the same old story over and over

for

years and years kept piling up inside

her

and inside me god can you picture

all i made her suffer and all that guilt

she made me feel and how i hated myself

if she only hadn't been so damn good if

she'd been the kind of a wife i was a

husband

god i'd even pray sometimes she i'd say

to him

go on why don't you have them i wouldn't

mind serve me right

i forgive you

oh only i pretend i was kidding like i

used to kid her about her being in the

hay with the iced man

she'd have been so hurt if i said it

seriously

she'd have thought i stopped loving her

hey i bet you think i'm kidding huh

that no woman could have stood what she

stood and still loved me so much

that it isn't human for any woman to be

so pitying and forgive

well i'm not kidding and if you'd ever

seen it you'd know it was written all

over her face

sweetness and love

pity

and forgiveness

wait i'll show you

i always carry a picture yeah

oh no

i'm forgetting i tore it up afterwards

i didn't need it anymore

i burned up mother's picture larry her

eyes followed me all the time they

seemed to be wishing i was dead well

it kept piling up like i said inside her

and inside me

i got so i thought of it all the time i

got so i hated myself more and more

thinking of all the wrong i'd done to

the sweetest woman in the world who

loved me so much

i even caught myself calling myself a

lousy bastard every time i saw myself in

a mirror

and i felt such pity for her it drove me

crazy you wouldn't believe it

would you larry that a guy like me who's

knocked around so much could feel such

pity

because so i wound up every night with

my face buried in her lap

bawling and begging for forgiveness

and of course you'd always say it's all

right teddy

i know you won't ever repent

of christ

christ i loved her so

when i began to hate

that pipe dream i began to think i was

going bug house

because i couldn't forgive her for

forgiving me i even caught myself

hating her for making me hate myself so

much

i tell you there is a limit to the guilt

you can feel

and the forgiveness and pity you can

take you've got to begin blaming someone

else too

and again so sometimes when she kissed

me

even though she did it on purpose to

humiliate me

and mostly shut my face

and then i'd see how rotten to me that

wasn't only made me hate myself all the

more

you'd never believe it would you larry

that a good-natured happy-go-lucky slob

like me could hate so much

another time got near when i was due to

come here for my drunk around harry's

birthday

i got nearly crazy i kept swearing to

her every night that this time i really

wouldn't

until i made it a real final test to

myself and to evelyn and of course she

encouraged me to say i know you won't

this time teddy you'll conquer a deer

and we'll be so happy here well when

she'd say that and

kiss me i'd believe it too and then

she'd go upstairs to bed and i'd stay up

alone because i

didn't want to disturb her tossing and

rolling around

and i get so damn lonely

and i think how peaceful it was here

sitting around with the old gang getting

drunk

and forgetting love laughing joking

and singing and telling lies

and finally i knew i'd have to come

and i knew if i came this time it was

the finish

because i never have the guts to go back

and be forgiven again

and that would break poor evelyn's heart

because to her it would mean

i didn't love her anymore

well that last night i'd driven myself

nearly crazy trying to figure a way out

for her

i went in the bedroom i was gonna tell

her it was the end

but i couldn't do it she was sound

asleep and i thought to myself

oh god if she never wakes up

she'll never know

and then it came to me the one

possible way out for her sake i remember

i'd given her a gun for her protection

while i was away and was in the bureau

drawer

she'd never feel any pain she'd never

wake up from that dream

so

[Music]

so i killed her there's no use lying

anymore

you know the truth anyway it was because

i hated her and then i saw i'd always

known

that was the only possible way to give

her peace

and free her from the misery of loving

me

and i saw it meant peace for me too

knowing she was at peace

and i felt as if a ton of guilt

had been lifted off my mind i remember i

looked down at the bed

and suddenly i had to laugh i couldn't

help it

and i knew evelyn would forgive me

and i remember speaking to her as if

there was something

i always wanted to say well you know

what you can do with your pipe dream now

you damn

oh

oh no no i never

yes that's it burn the old movement pipe

dream hey larry

no no i never said that's all i

but i loved him more than anything in

life i must have gone insane

harry you know hickey longer than anyone

you know i must have gone insane don't

you governor who the hell

insane

you mean you you really wanted to see it

i couldn't have said that to her i

couldn't have laughed

that's enough now you know who we are

you're under arrest so come along and

spill your guts when we get it on paper

oh wait a minute officer you owe me a

break on phone and made it easy for you

didn't i just a few minutes

harry you know i couldn't have

said that to evelyn unless i've been

crazy ever since

everything you've said and done to you

i know what you're driving at but i'm

not gonna let you get away with

yeah i've been crazy ever since

everything i said and done you

you saw i was insane ninja governor

can it i had enough of iraq save it for

the jury

unless you guys don't fall for his lies

he's getting a little foxy now thinks

he'll plead insanity

he can't get away with where are you

dumb dick

you've got a cross trying to tell us

about hickey why we've known him for

years

every one of us noticed he was nutty

when he first came here

if you saw all the crazy bully was

pulling about bringing his piece

like a bug house preacher escaped from

an asylum if you've seen all the crazy

things he made us do

we only did them because well well we

thought he'd come out of it if we kidded

him and cubed them

ain't that right fellas yeah sure rats

covering up for a dirty cold-blooded

murderer

is that so well you heard the old story

of when saint patrick drove the snakes

out of ireland

they swam to new york and joined the

police force

we can believe that no when we look at

you can't we follow through

i don't bump for a plug like

come on you oh i want to go officer

i should have phoned you from the house

right afterwards

there's a waste of time am i coming here

i've got to tell everyone

but i know she's forgiven me she knows i

was insane

have you got me all wrong officer i want

to go to the chair

crap oh god you're a duck dick

my bonehead i haven't got a single damn

lying hope or pipe dream left i gotta

move on

all i want you to see is i was out of my

mind afterwards when i left

i was a raving rotten lunatic or i

couldn't have said that to her

well i love devil and better than

anything on god's earth

don't worry hickey they can't give you

the chair

we'll all testify you was crazy

what's my father

the poor crazy son of a

gee i need a drink maybe let some of the

old kick in it now that he's gone

yeah boss maybe we can get drunk now

may the chair bring him piece of glass

poor tortured

yes but he isn't the only one who needs

peace larry

i can't feel sorry for him

he's lucky he's through now

it's all decided for him

i wish it was decided for me

you're the only one who can understand

how guilty i am

because you know her and you know what

i've done to her

you know i'm really much guiltier than

he is

you know what i did is a much worse

murder

because she's dead yet she has to live

for a while but she can't live long in

jail

she loves freedom too much

if i can't get myself like that she's at

peace

as long as she lives she'll never be

able to forget what i've done to her

not even in her sleep she'll ever have a

second space

jesus larry can't you say something

and i'm not putting up any bluff now

either

that was crazy afterwards when i left

and i thought to myself

you know what you can do with your

freedom piperine now don't you damn

don't

god get that hell out of life

before i choke it out any longer

thanks larry

i just wanted to be sure

i can see now that that's the only

possible way i can ever get free from

her

i guess i've really known that all my

life

and go up with another guy

mad tortured bastard

for your own sake

jesus larry that's kind

i knew just knew you were the only one

who could understand my side

hello little dan little monkey

don't be a fool buy me a drink

sure i will hugo

i will

tomorrow

beneath the willow trees

stupid fool the picture makes you crazy

though

he makes me have better angel he makes

with the lies about myself he makes me

want to spit

and all i never dreamed i'm glad that

takes him to that asylum

i don't feel i'm dying anymore larry he

was selling

death to me that crazy salesman

i think i have a drink now fellas

i'm beginner to feel the old kicker i'm

a liar

it's putting life back into me pidgey if

if if all my laptop hits me

i'd be paralyzed before i know it you

know

it was hickey that kept it from the

aperture that's crazy

but he was crazy and he'd had all of us

book host to

look at me pretended to start for a walk

just to keep him quiet when i knew

damned well it wasn't the right day for

us

to the sun was scorching and the streets

were full of automobiles

you know i could feel myself getting a

sunstroke and an automobile damn nearly

ran over me

that's rocky here he seen it now didn't

you rocky what's that boss

hey all that booze i mopped up is

beginning to get me

the automobile bus sure i've seen it

just missed you i thought you was a

ghana

i'm the white of banana spot and

oh you're a bartender all right nobody

can say different to that

but don't pull that on us junk you and

shook

should have cards in the burglars union

i said isn't it grand to hear laughter

here once again

you know all the time that fast poor old

hickey was here

you know i didn't have the heart so

fellas

it's on the house it's

[Music]

you have a drink what what's the matter

lady

you look funny what do you listen to out

in the backyard

well i thank god me and chuck did all we

could to humor that poor nut

oh imagine us blowing off like we

really was gonna get married we ain't

even

picked out the farm yet good thing

baby and we kidded him we were serious

i may say i detected this condition

almost at once

all that nonsense about tomorrow for

example

had the fixed idea of the insane

only makes them worse to cross them same

with me jimmy

only i spent the day in the park i

wasn't damn full and i'm

sure my predicament if i had gone to the

consciousness whether that

mine there is a humorous blighter he

would have found me a job out of pure

spite

so i strolled about and finally came to

roost in the park

and who should i find on the neighboring

bench but my old battlefield companion

the boar that walks like a man who if

the british government

had taken my advice would have been

removed from his fetid trial on the felt

straight to the baboons cage in the

london zoo and little children would

now be asking their nurses tell me nana

is that the power general the one with

the blue behind

well

you know about our job i fear just like

caesar what's the matter really

you look scared what do you listen to

out there

no sir i wasn't cool enough to get a no

crap

game not while hickey was around

crazy people put her jinx on you i know

you know how it is

ed oh it's no good trying to tell a

crazy man that ain't the right time you

know how it is about getting reinstated

ah sure max same way with the circus you

know the boys are telling me the rubies

are wasting all their money buying food

times was never so bad i was never one

to cheat for chicken feed huh

i

to out in the backyard you crazy fool

you almost crazy like cindy you'll give

me the bad dreams

welcome to the bar google you go sit

down

have a drink

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

song

[Music]

yeah we want to drink quick yeah shake

the light out of your pants

oh look who's here i love that

sweetheart

gee i was beginning to worry about your

honesty

girls girls come in i'm delighted to see

you sit down have a drink

the cops got him he'd gone crazy and

croaked his wife

he'll get motto on he ain't responsible

what he pulled don't mean a thing so

forget that whoever stops see

i'm not the black or funny one that

called you

i'm full of bastard full of lead

you're taught oh what the

good as anyone see oh forget it sweetie

[Music]

[Music]

hey what's up oh nothing something fell

off the fire escape a mattress out

but some of these bums have been

sleeping on a fire escape

they better cut that off though this is

no fresh air

god

uh the damn pity again the wrong kind of

hickey says

there's no hope for me

i'll never be a success in a

grandstander anywhere else

life is too much for me

i'll be a weak fool looking with pity at

the two

sides of everything until the day i die

and may that day come soon

and the only real convert to death the

hickey's made here

from the bottom of my coward's

heart i mean

barry what you're doing over there by

yourself come on come on get paralyzed

i feel like singing

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

today

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

so

[Music]

bye