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1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:05,213
[Theme - Jack Jones, "the love
boat theme"]
2
00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:18,560
Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.
3
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:20,311
Come aboard.
4
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:27,026
We're expecting you.
5
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:35,410
And love, life's
sweetest reward.
6
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:43,835
Let it flow, it
floats back to you.
7
00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:51,760
The love boat soon will
be making another run.
8
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:58,308
The love boat promises
something for everyone.
9
00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:03,271
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.
10
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:15,658
And love won't hurt anymore.
11
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:21,456
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
12
00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:24,417
It's love.
13
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,256
Welcome aboard, it's love.
14
00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:42,560
[Music playing]
15
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,914
Gopher, I want you to check
the chef's seafood requisition.
16
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:04,207
So we're over stocked
Maine's going to be
17
00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,333
ordering lobsters from us.
18
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:06,876
Well, if it's any help,
sir, I know a place where
19
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,879
we can a great buy on bibs.
20
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:10,839
Don't help me.
21
00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:11,714
Nice try though, goph.
22
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:12,507
And Julie?
23
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:13,716
Yes, sir?
24
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,261
Please try to schedule
some recent films.
25
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,846
I'm almost positive Elizabeth
Taylor made a few movies
26
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,890
after "national velvet."
27
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:21,975
If you'd like a list of
them, I'll give Liz a call.
28
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:22,892
I have her home phone number.
29
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,562
Well, before you
call, Adam, please
30
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,437
check the medical supplies.
31
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:29,065
Make sure the back
orders are noted.
32
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:33,903
You've been very lax
in your inventories.
33
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,406
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
34
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:39,993
Captain: Oh, and Isaac?
35
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,244
Sir?
36
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,204
The line wanted me to extend
its congratulations to you.
37
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:47,208
On our last cruise, 38
bar glasses were broken.
38
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,167
That's a three-day
cruise record.
39
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:50,295
We're writing the
guinness people to see
40
00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:51,921
if it's a new world record.
41
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,173
I'm sorry, sir.
42
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,007
I'll do better.
43
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,510
- Any questions.
- No.
44
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:58,678
No.
45
00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:00,930
And dad, everybody
has something to do.
46
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,098
How about a job for me?
47
00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:04,893
Vicki, you already have
the hardest job of all.
48
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,895
Growing up is always
a difficult chore.
49
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,855
Dad, that's not the
kind of chore I want.
50
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:11,482
Dad, I want to work.
51
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,401
I want to feel useful,
instead of feeling
52
00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,278
like I'm in everybody's way.
53
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:18,656
Darling, you're not in
anybody's way, honestly, honey.
54
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,118
All right, dismissed.
55
00:03:22,201 --> 00:03:22,827
Thank you, sir.
56
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,788
Sir, thank you.
57
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,290
Oh, I'm sorry.
58
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,541
You see, I'm even in your way.
59
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:40,929
[Theme - dionne Warwick, "love
boat"]
60
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:45,642
Oh, Isaac, look here they
come again, the merry widows.
61
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:46,809
I'm so excited.
62
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:51,689
[Interposing voices]
63
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:52,440
Back for their
annual bridge marathon.
64
00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,359
I know.
65
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:55,985
Once those ladies
start playing bridge,
66
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,655
even a tidal can't
get their attention.
67
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,156
- Hello.
- Hello.
68
00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:01,115
Welcome aboard.
69
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,825
It's nice to have
you all back again.
70
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:03,868
Good to have you back, yes.
71
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,662
Where's Mrs. Brody?
72
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,539
Oh, we lost her.
73
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:11,042
Oh, no, Mrs. Brody died.
74
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:12,001
No.
75
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,419
We lost her to backgammon.
76
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:16,839
But we have new fourth,
Mrs. Simpson, who is just as
77
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,300
crazy, about bridge as we are.
78
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,426
Well, hello, welcome aboard.
79
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,011
Mrs. Simpson, it's
nice to have you with us.
80
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,471
Thank you, it's not--
81
00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:24,681
Shirley, cut the small talk.
82
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:25,848
We're here to play bridge.
83
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,225
Hi, I'm Dr. Leonhardt.
84
00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:29,352
I just checked in
a few minutes ago,
85
00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,187
and I just wondered if you
could show me to my cabin?
86
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,647
Julie: Oh, of course,
Dr. Leonhardt.
87
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,315
Just go straight through
the lobby to the elevator.
88
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,358
Julie, these ladies are
headed in the same direction.
89
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,944
Maybe they might show
the doctor to his cabin?
90
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:38,695
Good idea.
91
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:39,529
Uh-- ladies, you don't mind.
92
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,364
I see you have
your usual cabins.
93
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,615
- Yes.
- That's right.
94
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:46,411
Well, I'd be delighted to
have such charming escorts.
95
00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,329
Listen, we've got to
get our bridge started.
96
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,332
Yeah, all right.
97
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,710
Did I hear you mention bridge?
98
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,670
Yes, that's all we came for.
99
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,091
Oh, I've always wanted
to learn that game.
100
00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:02,385
I just never had the time.
101
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,178
Well, you doctors
are kept very busy.
102
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,764
What branch of
medicine are you in?
103
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:07,557
Building Bridges.
104
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,599
Oh.
105
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:09,642
I'm a dentist.
106
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:10,893
Oh.
107
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,562
And it's my professional
opinion, that you
108
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,523
have a very lovely smile.
109
00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:17,275
Oh.
110
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:20,319
Shirley, you came
here to play bridge,
111
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,612
not to get fitted for one.
112
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:35,126
[Interposing voices]
113
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,587
Oh, oh.
114
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,088
Doc, doc, doc, look.
115
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,132
Oh.
116
00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:43,342
Boy, if she isn't
a slice of heaven,
117
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,386
my eyes go back into
the shop for repairs.
118
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,139
Yeah, then you better
call for an appointment.
119
00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:49,057
She's sailed with us before.
120
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,433
I spent an evening with her.
121
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:54,062
It was like trying to
snuggle up to an iceberg.
122
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,271
You know, doc,
let's face it, there
123
00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:58,107
might be one or two women
out there that won't tumble
124
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,358
with your infamous charms.
125
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,695
Gopher, at medical school,
I majored in erogenous zones.
126
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,281
If I can't hit the spot,
they're clinically dead.
127
00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:08,159
Well, well, what a
delightful surprise--
128
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:09,786
Linda Trent.
129
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,037
So nice to see you again.
130
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,747
I'd like to introduce
you to gopher Smith.
131
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:14,791
Linda Trent.
132
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:18,127
Hi, I can't help noticing
you're in aloha 152.
133
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,172
Aloha 152.
134
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:23,841
Well, I'll have
to remember that.
135
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,551
Oh, don't bother.
136
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,596
I've already had my flu shots.
137
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:32,225
I guess, some guys just can't
take iceberg for an answer.
138
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:38,439
Hello.
139
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:41,150
Goodbye.
140
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,860
Well, a real fun girl.
141
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,862
Oh, I wouldn't
take it personally.
142
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,572
The lady might have a
south-sea island body,
143
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,992
but she definitely has a
north-pole personality.
144
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:50,701
I'll have her melting
by the end of the cruise.
145
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:53,037
Hey.
146
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,207
He's going to have frost bite
by the time we hit acapulco.
147
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:56,916
I got $10 smackeroos
says he's a winner.
148
00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:57,834
- Oh?
- Mm.
149
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,962
Make it $25.
150
00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:01,504
Ok.
151
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,505
You're on, sucker.
152
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:10,179
[Boat horn]
153
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:14,058
[Theme - dionne Warwick, "love
boat"]
154
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:41,669
Two hearts.
155
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,175
Ethel, it only took god
six days to create the world.
156
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:50,595
He didn't have
this rotten hand.
157
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,847
Did you say two hearts?
158
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:53,389
How could you remember?
159
00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:55,141
It was so long ago.
160
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,644
I think I'll pass.
161
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,150
Doris: Shirley, two--
162
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,193
Ethel: Signals?
163
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,361
Oh, I'll never play with
her if she's signaling.
164
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:08,905
Shirley: I wasn't signaling.
165
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,073
I was waving to Dr. Leonhardt.
166
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:16,329
Doris: Sure, and I wear
petite in pantyhose.
167
00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:17,788
Hello, ladies.
168
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,290
Hello, doctor leonhardt.
169
00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:21,584
Goodbye, doctor leonhardt.
170
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:31,469
Two no trump.
171
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:37,850
Hi.
172
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,477
You're blocking the sun.
173
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:42,271
How's this?
174
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:42,730
A little farther.
175
00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:46,442
Ok?
176
00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:48,986
Farther.
177
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,489
Is this all right.
178
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,241
Nope, I can still hear you.
179
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,787
Watch how an
expert handles this.
180
00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:02,583
Excuse me, is
this chair occupied?
181
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,418
I really don't know.
182
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,671
That's the oldest
line in the world.
183
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,218
You're doing great.
184
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,178
Well, actually,
the only reason I ask
185
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,806
is because I usually like to
keep one empty chair between me
186
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,140
and another passenger.
187
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,893
That way, I don't get involved
in any casual, inane shipboard
188
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,103
conversations.
189
00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:23,229
You know, that's exactly how--
190
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:24,605
Barry: See, you're
doing it already.
191
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,731
I better make that two chairs.
192
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:38,828
Hi, Isaac.
193
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,037
Hi, doc.
194
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:43,457
Got anything back
there for a headache?
195
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,625
You're the doctor.
196
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,168
Well, I don't mean to
get rid of a headache.
197
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,753
I mean to get one.
198
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:51,048
Hey, guys, you want me to
help you serve some drinks?
199
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,092
Oh, come on, Vicki,
now you know minors are
200
00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:55,720
not allowed to serve liquor.
201
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:56,512
Right.
202
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:02,977
Hi, sweetheart.
203
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,729
Hi, dad.
204
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:09,817
I wonder what's
bothering Vicki?
205
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:10,693
She seems a little glum.
206
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,570
Oh, she's just growing up now.
207
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:15,197
She just wants to feel useful.
208
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:15,865
Why don't you give her a job?
209
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,616
A job?
210
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,076
Like what?
211
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,828
Like anything.
212
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:22,705
Hey, why don't you
make her your secretary?
213
00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:23,914
Oh, come on.
214
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,042
Adam, I need a secretary,
like you need dating lessons.
215
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,252
Well, then, maybe
you need a secretary.
216
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:28,711
I've been striking
out a lot lately.
217
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:38,512
How you doing?
218
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,305
Fine.
219
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,226
Well, guess i'd
better be going.
220
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:48,230
I have a lot of paperwork
to do, letters to write.
221
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,649
Want me to help you?
222
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:51,692
Hey, that's not a bad idea.
223
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,736
Would you?
224
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:54,570
What?
225
00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:55,905
Would you help me?
226
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:56,947
Well, sure.
227
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,491
It would certainly
make things a lot easier.
228
00:10:58,574 --> 00:10:59,325
You know what?
229
00:10:59,408 --> 00:10:59,992
What?
230
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,285
You're my new secretary.
231
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:04,914
Oh, daddy, thank you.
232
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,248
Come on, secretary.
233
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:10,920
[Music playing]
234
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,925
And I'll have six of these.
235
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,426
Hmm, let's see?
236
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,930
One, two, three, four,
five, six of these.
237
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:24,392
And chewy Taffy.
238
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,852
Oh, I'd pass on the
Taffy, if I were you.
239
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,562
Your fillings will
never forgive you.
240
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,272
Am I going to get billed
for this, doctor leonhardt?
241
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,149
Oh, call me frank.
242
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,985
And I wouldn't dream of it--
free professional opinion.
243
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:35,277
Aha.
244
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,071
Ok.
245
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:41,075
What is your professional
opinion on peanuts?
246
00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:42,618
They go very
good with martinis.
247
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:43,452
Aha.
248
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,620
Two of those.
249
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:46,455
For that, you get billed.
250
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,873
That'll do it.
251
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,501
Actually, see, this stuff
is all for the other ladies.
252
00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,461
Oh, sure, sure.
253
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,089
Well, you see, the new girl
has to run all the errands.
254
00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:56,215
- I see.
- Yeah.
255
00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:56,966
Thank you.
256
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,514
Your wife must appreciate having
a dentist around the house.
257
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:04,473
Oh, I don't think so.
258
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,435
She's married to a lawyer.
259
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,062
We've been divorced
for a long time.
260
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,021
And you've never remarried?
261
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,398
Huh-uh.
262
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:13,566
Well, a dentist must meet
a lot of attractive women.
263
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,985
Yeah, but it's pretty
hard to establish
264
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:19,822
a relationship with somebody
you see only twice a year.
265
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:20,990
How about you, Shirley?
266
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:21,991
You happily married?
267
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,242
I used to be.
268
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:24,660
My husband passed away.
269
00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:25,369
Oh, I'm sorry.
270
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,163
No, no, no, that's ok.
271
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,372
It hurt for a long time.
272
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,416
But, well now, i'm
getting back on my feet,
273
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:31,250
traveling, seeing friends.
274
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:33,043
Playing bridge.
275
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,253
Brid-- bridge!
276
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:35,671
Oh, the ladies will kill me.
277
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:36,672
Yeah, wait a minute.
278
00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:37,923
How about a bridge
lesson over some drinks?
279
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:38,966
No, no, i--
280
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,092
I'm sure you can get
away for a few hours.
281
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,302
Not even for good behavior.
282
00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:42,261
I'm sorry.
283
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,305
Yeah, but-- oh.
284
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,109
[Knocking]
285
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,069
Uh-- come in.
286
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,279
Hi, Vicki.
287
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,573
Oh, hey, how's
your new job going?
288
00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:03,407
Oh, fine, thanks, goph.
289
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:06,410
I mean, Mr. Smith.
290
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,786
Oh, gosh, looks like
you're working hard.
291
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,830
You almost filled this basket.
292
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:10,706
Where's your dad?
293
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:11,665
I need to talk to him.
294
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:14,877
Well, do you have
an appointment?
295
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:15,544
No, I don't.
296
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,714
Well, how's Friday, 3:00?
297
00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:20,716
Gopher, I'm glad you're here.
298
00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:21,967
I wanted to see you.
299
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,219
I had a little trouble getting
past your secretary, sir.
300
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:26,388
Well, every ship's captain
needs an efficient girl Friday.
301
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:29,808
[Phone ringing]
302
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,978
Office of the captain,
Victoria stubing speaking.
303
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:33,729
Oh, fine.
304
00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,105
How are you?
305
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:38,442
Who is it?
306
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:39,860
Oh, no, I'm afraid not.
307
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:40,736
He's in a conference
at the moment.
308
00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:42,613
Would you like to
leave your number
309
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,990
and I'll have him
get back to you?
310
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,535
One moment, please?
311
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,203
Are you in for our cruise
director, Ms. McCoy.
312
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:50,746
It's Julie.
313
00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:51,497
Well, I don't know.
314
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:51,914
She didn't give her first name.
315
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:08,013
Oh, get my $25 bucks ready.
316
00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:11,225
I see our would-be Casanova
is all by his lonesome.
317
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,269
Oh, not for long.
318
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,105
Oh, I get it.
319
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:19,650
He's gotten our miss Julie here
to seat Linda at his table.
320
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:21,235
I haven't pulled that tired
old trick since high school.
321
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:22,987
Well--
322
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:23,779
hi, Julie.
323
00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:24,780
Oh, hello.
324
00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:27,449
Have you got a nice,
quiet table for me?
325
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,867
You know, I thought
you might enjoy
326
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:32,204
sitting with that gentleman
over there, Barry styles.
327
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,873
He seems very nice and
besides, he requested
328
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:35,291
you for his dinner party.
329
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,502
Oh, did he?
330
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,628
Is something else available?
331
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,298
I'm really not interested
in sitting with anybody,
332
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,008
and certainly not him.
333
00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:48,429
Oh, gee, well, everything else
is either taken or reserved.
334
00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:51,098
I'm afraid it's the only
seat left in the room.
335
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:54,560
Well, I'll work it out.
336
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:55,352
Julie: Ok.
337
00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:05,154
Hang on to your epaulets,
and watch miss rejection put
338
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:07,948
his ego into intensive care.
339
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:08,324
I still have faith in him.
340
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,075
Yeah?
341
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:10,743
Yeah.
342
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:11,702
Enough to double our bet?
343
00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:12,411
Huh?
344
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,203
Uh-huh?
- Yeah.
345
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,997
Ok.
346
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,790
$50.
347
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:20,961
Gopher, you just weren't
meant to be a rich man.
348
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:24,381
For a man so anxious to avoid
casual, inane conversation,
349
00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:25,633
you certainly went
to a lot of trouble
350
00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,676
to maneuver me to this table.
351
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,469
Well, you--
352
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:28,927
and don't deny it.
353
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:29,511
Julie told me.
354
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,263
Oh, I'm not denying it.
355
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,850
You see I realized you want
to be alone as much as I do.
356
00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:36,602
Since I'm such a
fast eater, I'm done.
357
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:38,812
The table is yours.
358
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:48,364
He's doing as well
with her as you did.
359
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,865
Now look, I may have
struck out with the lady,
360
00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:53,202
but he didn't even
get up to bat.
361
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:54,662
Uh-- how's it going old man?
362
00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:55,496
Right on schedule.
363
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:04,588
One diamond.
364
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,549
And take away the beans.
365
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:11,053
I double, and
bring back the beans.
366
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:12,971
One heart, and bring me a
baked potato instead of beans.
367
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:16,266
I pass on the hand,
and I pass on the beans.
368
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,811
Two hearts.
369
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:22,356
Pass, and pass
the salt, please?
370
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:24,274
Thank you.
371
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:25,234
Four of heats.
372
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,903
You're welcome.
373
00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:29,738
Doris: Pass.
374
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,573
Ethel: Pass.
375
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,033
Shirley?
376
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:33,367
I'd love to.
377
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:34,243
Huh?
378
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,120
Huh?
379
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:39,665
Oh, I'd love to play bridge.
380
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:42,751
Now's your chance, honey.
381
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,461
Throw a card, uh--
382
00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:45,254
just one.
383
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,387
What happened?
384
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,138
This isn't a gym.
385
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,472
Good evening, captain.
386
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,266
Vicki, or miss stubing.
387
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,225
I've been worried about you.
388
00:16:58,308 --> 00:16:58,767
You're really late for dinner.
389
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,602
You must be starved.
390
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,104
Well, not really.
391
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,356
I was so busy with all this
paperwork, I lost my appetite.
392
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,983
Oh, but do you
think you could sign
393
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,110
these so that I could get them
in the mail in the next port.
394
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:09,111
Well, can't we do
this tomorrow morning?
395
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,613
You're making me feel
like Simon lagree.
396
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:12,781
Who?
397
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,491
Adam: Simon lagree,
he was the Darth Vader
398
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:17,619
when your dad was your age.
399
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,873
Are you sure you don't want
just a little something to eat?
400
00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,040
Captain, I'm fine.
401
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:22,958
I ordered a hamburger and
I'll eat it in the office.
402
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:25,335
But there's still
lots to catch up on.
403
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:34,178
Something wrong?
404
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:35,804
Broccoli looks
a bit overcooked.
405
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,890
I'll send a memo to the chef.
406
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:50,652
[Music playing]
407
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,800
Hi.
408
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:14,510
The girls are waiting.
409
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,511
I don't have much time.
410
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:16,970
Oh, then we'll just
have to dance fast.
411
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,681
Come on.
412
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:23,185
Here you go, two
champagne cocktails.
413
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,395
Now, are you going to drink
both of these at the same time?
414
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:26,355
No.
415
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:29,024
One is for Linda.
416
00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:33,278
Linda, you've been on
that diet much too long.
417
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:34,029
Don't worry.
418
00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:36,406
She'll be here.
419
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:37,699
Ok.
420
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,368
Oh, excuse me.
421
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:40,536
Uh-- I'm sorry, I
forgot you're uh-- uh--
422
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:41,495
- Linda.
- Linda.
423
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,205
Linda.
424
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,791
Would you mind helping me out?
425
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:48,710
You see, I'm celebrating a very
special anniversary tonight.
426
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:49,461
Mm?
427
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,712
Mm-hmm.
428
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,173
This marks one full year
of my being celibate.
429
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,132
Celibate?
430
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:57,719
You mean, you-- oh.
431
00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,555
What is this?
432
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,181
Some sort of put on?
433
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:01,849
No, I'm celibate.
434
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,810
No sex for an entire year.
435
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,020
And I must say, it's
been very enjoyable.
436
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,940
Of course, it does
have its drawbacks.
437
00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:13,902
When you're celibate, there's
no one to clink your glass with.
438
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,363
Are you some sort of a monk?
439
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,532
No.
440
00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:22,077
No, I just got tired of all
those quickie relationships.
441
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:26,039
You mean, you gave
up sex completely.
442
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,165
Completely.
443
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,500
It's like giving up smoking.
444
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:32,462
You cut down to one cigarette
a day, you're still a smoker.
445
00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:33,755
I'm impressed.
446
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,758
Well, I just felt it was
time to try something new.
447
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,218
But I'm sure you've
heard of the movement.
448
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:41,430
It's been on all the talk
shows, and magazines, and books.
449
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:42,598
It's called the new celibacy.
450
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:46,768
Some people refer to it as
the joy of not having joy.
451
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,520
You know, I can
see how a person
452
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:52,190
could get to a place like that
in this sex-oriented world.
453
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:56,778
I myself, if you have noticed,
am terribly turned off to men.
454
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,488
Oh, really?
455
00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:00,157
It's all that
grabbing and pulling.
456
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,617
It's disgusting.
457
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:02,618
My sentiments exactly.
458
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:05,162
Do you know, I've come
home with scratches
459
00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:06,455
that didn't heal for weeks?
460
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:14,463
I've always felt that intimacy
was supposed to be beautiful.
461
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,466
Instead, it's just
become trivial.
462
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:20,719
Well, here's to a
new kind of intimacy
463
00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:21,386
without the tyranny of sex.
464
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:36,068
I'm glad you could
get away, Shirley.
465
00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:39,404
Oh, So am I. But one dance
is hardly getting away.
466
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:40,948
Oh, those girls
run a tight ship.
467
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,325
I'm thinking of
starting a mutiny.
468
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:47,996
Listen, I have to get back.
469
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,666
Oh, well, how about the
promenade deck in an hour?
470
00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:51,667
I'll be there.
471
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:52,668
All right.
472
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:08,684
Vicki, as captain
of this ship,
473
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:09,393
don't you think I
should be notified
474
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:12,354
when we run into a hurricane?
475
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,272
Well, if things had been
organized to begin with,
476
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:15,983
then things around
here wouldn't look
477
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,693
so disorganized while
they're being reorganized.
478
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,153
Naturally.
479
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,739
Vicki, I think you've done
enough work for one day.
480
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,032
Why don't you get to bed?
481
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,534
Oh, well I've got to
finish just typing first.
482
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:29,705
Excuse me.
483
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:30,831
Miss stubing?
484
00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:31,790
Hmm?
485
00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:32,791
You are my secretary, right?
486
00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:33,709
Right.
487
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:34,042
I'm your boss, right?
488
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,919
Right.
489
00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:41,091
Speaking to you as your boss,
I'm ordering you to go to bed.
490
00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:44,094
Very well.
491
00:21:44,177 --> 00:21:45,095
Vicki?
492
00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:47,055
Hmm?
493
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,890
You're off duty now.
494
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,601
You think you can give
your father a kiss?
495
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:52,936
Oh.
496
00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:55,564
Goodnight, daddy.
497
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:56,940
Goodnight, sweetheart.
498
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,488
I can't get over it.
499
00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:04,239
For a solid year,
you haven't had
500
00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:07,075
a single intimate relationship?
501
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,410
That's right.
502
00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:10,370
I suppose before
that, you weren't so--
503
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:11,580
are you kidding?
504
00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:14,958
I was so wild, I could get
turned on by a navel orange.
505
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:17,127
That was I call discipline.
506
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:17,919
Oh, I'd love to hear more.
507
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,963
You want to come in for awhile?
508
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,257
You mean, in your cabin?
509
00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:23,133
Just the two of us?
510
00:22:23,216 --> 00:22:23,759
Mm-hmm.
511
00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:25,385
You think it's safe?
512
00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:27,637
Who would I be safer with?
513
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:28,388
A lot of men.
514
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:29,264
Is this safe for you?
515
00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:30,807
I mean, you think
it's safe for me?
516
00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:33,310
Believe me, there
will be no scratches.
517
00:22:33,393 --> 00:22:35,604
Not even a hickey.
518
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:37,147
I don't know.
519
00:22:37,230 --> 00:22:37,939
Come on.
520
00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:51,495
I was beginning to think
I'd never see you alone.
521
00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:53,205
It wasn't easy.
522
00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:55,957
I'd never had to develop a
headache on such short notice.
523
00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:58,085
I'm surprised that didn't
make you continue playing
524
00:22:58,168 --> 00:23:00,253
while they massaged your head.
525
00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:05,300
Oh, Shirley, i'm-- i'm
so glad you're here.
526
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:15,018
So am I.
527
00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:16,311
Headache better?
528
00:23:16,394 --> 00:23:17,729
Couldn't be better.
529
00:23:17,813 --> 00:23:19,231
This is the best
headache I ever had.
530
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:27,364
I knew it.
531
00:23:27,447 --> 00:23:28,115
I knew there was
something up when I saw
532
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:30,492
her putting some lipstick on.
533
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:31,660
[Inaudible]
534
00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:33,620
Nobody puts on lipstick
when she's planning
535
00:23:33,703 --> 00:23:35,372
to have a headache, alone.
536
00:23:35,455 --> 00:23:39,793
[Inaudible]
537
00:23:39,876 --> 00:23:42,170
Come ashore with me tomorrow.
538
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:44,506
Let me show you puerto vallarta.
539
00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:46,716
I know the most wonderful
little cafe that serves
540
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,426
the best margaritas in Mexico.
541
00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:50,220
Oh.
542
00:23:50,303 --> 00:23:52,681
Oh, that sounds terrific.
543
00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:54,808
Yeah, but the girls
are counting on me.
544
00:23:54,891 --> 00:23:56,351
Frank: Well, tell them
you still have a headache.
545
00:23:56,434 --> 00:23:57,227
Shirley: Mm-mm.
- It'll only take a few hours.
546
00:23:57,310 --> 00:23:58,895
- No, I can't.
- Please?
547
00:23:58,979 --> 00:23:59,646
Can't.
548
00:23:59,729 --> 00:23:59,980
Please?
549
00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:02,691
Can't.
550
00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:04,401
Ok.
551
00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:05,402
Ok.
552
00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:06,987
I'll meet you in the
purse's lobby at 11:00.
553
00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:07,904
Marvelous.
554
00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:10,699
Oh.
555
00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:12,534
But you know something,
getting a date
556
00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:15,287
with you is tougher
than pulling teeth.
557
00:24:23,753 --> 00:24:25,422
What does she
thinks she's doing?
558
00:24:25,505 --> 00:24:28,884
She knows we can't play
bridge without a fourth.
559
00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:32,554
Giving up a bridge
game for a date, hmm.
560
00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:35,015
That girl just doesn't know
how to have a good time.
561
00:24:35,098 --> 00:24:36,016
[Inaudible]
562
00:24:36,099 --> 00:24:40,312
We came here to play
bridge and we will.
563
00:24:40,395 --> 00:24:42,189
Tomorrow, that dentist
is going to have
564
00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:44,107
his appointment canceled.
565
00:24:48,111 --> 00:24:49,446
Barry: When I finally
understood that sex didn't have
566
00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:52,616
to be the end result
of every relationship,
567
00:24:52,699 --> 00:24:54,868
my women friends
and I began to enjoy
568
00:24:54,951 --> 00:24:56,244
each other in a whole new way.
569
00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:57,787
Of course.
570
00:24:57,871 --> 00:25:00,707
Well, uh-- that way, you
could channel all that animal
571
00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:03,251
energy into higher things--
572
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:04,920
music, literature, art.
573
00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:07,339
Exactly.
574
00:25:07,422 --> 00:25:09,090
Ever since I've
become celibate, I've
575
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:11,343
reached greater spiritual
heights, greater awareness.
576
00:25:11,426 --> 00:25:13,678
Well, I remember one
wonderful weekend
577
00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:18,183
when my date and I checked
into a romantic little hideaway
578
00:25:18,266 --> 00:25:23,605
and locked the door, and
together we knitted an Afghan.
579
00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:25,899
That's what I'm looking for.
580
00:25:25,982 --> 00:25:26,024
What size do you wear?
581
00:25:30,862 --> 00:25:34,157
Oh, you know, I wonder if
it's possible for two people
582
00:25:34,241 --> 00:25:38,245
to spend a whole weekend
together and not want to--
583
00:25:38,328 --> 00:25:39,663
you know?
584
00:25:39,746 --> 00:25:40,956
Well, at first I felt
the same as you do.
585
00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:44,292
And that's why I had to spend
the night alone with a woman,
586
00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:47,337
just to test myself,
you understand?
587
00:25:47,420 --> 00:25:49,756
I understand.
588
00:25:49,839 --> 00:25:51,132
I'd like to take
that kind of test.
589
00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:53,885
Someday, you should.
590
00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:55,762
It's the only way
to prove to yourself
591
00:25:55,845 --> 00:25:56,972
that you've got the willpower.
592
00:25:57,055 --> 00:25:58,181
No, I don't mean someday--
593
00:25:58,265 --> 00:26:00,100
now, with you.
594
00:26:00,183 --> 00:26:01,559
With me?
595
00:26:01,643 --> 00:26:03,561
Where else am I going to
find someone that I know hasn't
596
00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:05,438
a sexual thought about me?
597
00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:06,773
Besides, I'd really
like to find out
598
00:26:06,856 --> 00:26:11,486
if I have the inner strength
to reach that kind of purity.
599
00:26:11,569 --> 00:26:12,570
Oh, I'm sure you do.
600
00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:14,322
How am I going to know
unless I take the test?
601
00:26:17,033 --> 00:26:20,078
Please?
602
00:26:20,161 --> 00:26:22,330
Well, ok.
603
00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:23,415
I'll stay.
604
00:26:23,498 --> 00:26:25,667
But I'm doing this against
my better judgment.
605
00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:26,793
Thank you.
606
00:26:26,876 --> 00:26:27,919
I really appreciate it.
607
00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:28,753
My pleasure.
608
00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:54,696
I knew it.
I knew it.
609
00:26:54,779 --> 00:26:55,196
- What?
- I knew it.
610
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,990
What happened?
611
00:26:57,073 --> 00:26:58,366
Well, I knew you
couldn't hold out?
612
00:26:58,450 --> 00:26:59,200
What did I do?
613
00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:01,703
There I was, fast asleep.
614
00:27:01,786 --> 00:27:03,163
I was perfectly-- I was dreaming
I was making fudge brownies
615
00:27:03,246 --> 00:27:05,040
and you kissed me.
616
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:05,915
I'm sorry.
617
00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:07,751
I'm sorry.
618
00:27:07,834 --> 00:27:08,585
Wait a second.
619
00:27:08,668 --> 00:27:09,669
Wait a second.
620
00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:11,838
You don't have to leave.
621
00:27:11,921 --> 00:27:15,467
Won't happen again, I promise.
622
00:27:15,550 --> 00:27:16,343
Ok.
623
00:27:16,426 --> 00:27:17,677
But this is your last chance.
624
00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:37,155
[Music playing]
625
00:27:46,122 --> 00:27:56,508
[Inaudible]
626
00:27:56,591 --> 00:27:58,385
Good morning, Dr. Leonhardt.
627
00:27:58,468 --> 00:28:00,095
Oh, good morning, ladies.
628
00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:01,054
Would you like to join me?
629
00:28:01,137 --> 00:28:04,599
[Interposing voices]
630
00:28:04,682 --> 00:28:06,559
Well, I'm glad to see you
take time out from bridge
631
00:28:06,643 --> 00:28:09,145
for a little nourishment.
632
00:28:09,229 --> 00:28:11,314
Well, we can't
play yet anyhow.
633
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:13,733
We're waiting for Shirley.
634
00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:14,818
Don't tell me she overslept?
635
00:28:14,901 --> 00:28:17,028
Oh, no, no, no,
she's on the phone.
636
00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:18,947
Ship De jour.
637
00:28:19,030 --> 00:28:23,660
Husbands can be such a
pain in the neck, can't they?
638
00:28:23,743 --> 00:28:26,538
Why Ethel, I think
it's wonderful.
639
00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:29,290
If my husband were
still living, I'd love
640
00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:30,834
him to call me twice a day.
641
00:28:30,917 --> 00:28:31,626
But ladies--
642
00:28:31,709 --> 00:28:33,294
Doris, how much
can he miss her?
643
00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:35,547
This is a short cruise.
644
00:28:35,630 --> 00:28:36,297
Wait a minute.
645
00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:36,881
Wait a minute.
646
00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:37,632
I don't understand.
647
00:28:37,715 --> 00:28:39,134
I thought Shirley was a widow?
648
00:28:39,217 --> 00:28:40,093
Oh, a widow.
649
00:28:40,176 --> 00:28:42,971
[Laughing]
650
00:28:43,054 --> 00:28:45,014
Oh, no.
651
00:28:45,098 --> 00:28:46,349
Yeah, that's a new one.
652
00:28:46,433 --> 00:28:49,310
She usually calls
herself a divorcee.
653
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:50,645
Sounds younger.
654
00:28:50,728 --> 00:28:53,523
Oh, but don't worry,
doctor leonhardt,
655
00:28:53,606 --> 00:28:56,609
if Shirley would like to have
a little shipboard fling,
656
00:28:56,693 --> 00:28:59,320
I mean, who are we to mix in?
657
00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:02,031
Our lips are sealed.
658
00:29:08,955 --> 00:29:09,831
Look at this.
659
00:29:09,914 --> 00:29:12,208
All crew members,
until further notice,
660
00:29:12,292 --> 00:29:15,670
there will be a daily
inspection, every day, daily.
661
00:29:15,753 --> 00:29:19,007
Remember, it's a pleasure
to view a neat-looking crew,
662
00:29:19,090 --> 00:29:21,134
signed captain m. Stubing.
663
00:29:21,217 --> 00:29:23,344
Daily inspection--
that's crazy.
664
00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:26,139
Do I look any different
today than I did yesterday?
665
00:29:26,222 --> 00:29:26,848
Unfortunately, no.
666
00:29:31,686 --> 00:29:32,353
Hey.
667
00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:33,146
What's going on?
668
00:29:33,229 --> 00:29:35,523
Take a look.
669
00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:38,359
All crew members
from your captain.
670
00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:40,487
Please submit a written
report each morning of what
671
00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:42,280
your day's activities will be.
672
00:29:42,363 --> 00:29:47,577
Remember, a day that's planned
well, will turn out just swell.
673
00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:51,164
What's the captain writing
here, memos or fortune cookies?
674
00:29:51,247 --> 00:29:51,998
Good morning, everyone.
675
00:29:52,081 --> 00:29:52,832
Good morning, sir.
676
00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:53,666
[Interposing voices]
677
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:57,086
Well, uh-- what's
so interesting?
678
00:29:57,170 --> 00:30:00,048
Vicki.
679
00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:00,465
Good morning, everyone.
680
00:30:00,548 --> 00:30:01,799
Morning.
681
00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:07,180
[Interposing voices]
682
00:30:07,263 --> 00:30:10,058
Isaac: No loitering
around the bulletin board.
683
00:30:10,141 --> 00:30:15,522
Uh-- merrill, I know it isn't
easy to fire your own daughter.
684
00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:16,898
Oh, don't worry.
685
00:30:16,981 --> 00:30:18,816
I'm sure she'll get tired
of it all before long.
686
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:21,444
Well maybe there's a
way we can make her tired.
687
00:30:29,994 --> 00:30:33,748
I can't remember when I
had a more restful night.
688
00:30:33,831 --> 00:30:36,918
Why, i-- I didn't even
realize you were next to me.
689
00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:40,046
Except for that
little mistake I made.
690
00:30:40,129 --> 00:30:41,089
I'm sorry.
691
00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:43,716
I still can't believe
I tried to kiss you.
692
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,009
Well, don't dwell on it.
693
00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:46,636
You did very well
for a first time.
694
00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:47,929
You just don't have my
depth of control yet.
695
00:30:48,012 --> 00:30:51,641
You know, I haven't
come across a man like you
696
00:30:51,724 --> 00:30:52,892
in a long time.
697
00:30:52,976 --> 00:30:56,271
And to think, I didn't even
want to come on this cruise.
698
00:30:56,354 --> 00:30:58,856
I was afraid of being stuck
with some shipboard lothario.
699
00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:02,902
My friends had to
practically push me on board.
700
00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:06,948
You are so
refreshingly different.
701
00:31:07,031 --> 00:31:09,450
Thanks.
702
00:31:09,534 --> 00:31:10,952
Well, have a nice day.
703
00:31:18,918 --> 00:31:19,544
Julie (on megaphone):
Ladies and gentlemen,
704
00:31:19,627 --> 00:31:21,546
welcome to puerto vallarta.
705
00:31:21,629 --> 00:31:24,257
Land tours will be
leaving in one half hour.
706
00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:31,598
Shirley: Gopher?
707
00:31:31,681 --> 00:31:36,102
Uh-- excuse me, gopher, have
you seen doctor leonhardt?
708
00:31:36,185 --> 00:31:38,062
The doctor, the dentist,
that doctor leonhardt?
709
00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:38,980
Yes.
710
00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:39,981
He was the first
one off the ship.
711
00:31:40,064 --> 00:31:41,441
I guess he wanted to
make a full day of it.
712
00:31:41,524 --> 00:31:42,317
Aha.
713
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,320
Uh-- did he leave
a message for me?
714
00:31:45,403 --> 00:31:46,362
No message.
715
00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:47,614
Was he supposed
to meet you here?
716
00:31:47,697 --> 00:31:48,990
No-- yeah, well, uh--
717
00:31:49,073 --> 00:31:51,826
i-- I just thought maybe i'd
catch him before he left.
718
00:31:51,909 --> 00:31:54,037
Well, if I run into
him, I'll tell him
719
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:55,330
you were looking for him.
720
00:31:55,413 --> 00:31:57,373
No-- uh-- well, uh--
721
00:31:57,457 --> 00:31:58,166
thank you.
722
00:32:02,545 --> 00:32:05,298
[Interposing voices]
723
00:32:05,381 --> 00:32:06,716
Jeez.
724
00:32:06,799 --> 00:32:08,676
You're both talking, and I
can't follow either of you.
725
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:09,344
One at a time.
726
00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:11,179
All right.
727
00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:12,263
The first thing
I need is for you
728
00:32:12,347 --> 00:32:14,557
to pull all your files
on every passenger who's
729
00:32:14,641 --> 00:32:16,476
ever taken a cruise with us.
730
00:32:16,559 --> 00:32:18,853
Make sure all their names are
alphabetized, because what
731
00:32:18,936 --> 00:32:21,522
we're going to do--
732
00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:25,693
or what you're going
to do is compile a list
733
00:32:25,777 --> 00:32:28,321
and we're going to send
Christmas cards to everybody
734
00:32:28,404 --> 00:32:29,530
who has ever sailed with us.
735
00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:30,782
Isn't that a great idea?
736
00:32:30,865 --> 00:32:32,241
Well, I guess so, but Julie--
737
00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:34,702
oh, and make sure that
you make a special notation
738
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:36,954
on all the cards of the
passengers that have taken
739
00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:38,206
more than one trip with us.
740
00:32:38,289 --> 00:32:40,833
Now, listen Vicki, after
you get that project underway,
741
00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:43,586
what I need you to
do is very important
742
00:32:43,670 --> 00:32:46,631
because I want you to make
a list of all the passengers
743
00:32:46,714 --> 00:32:48,049
that are on the
ship and find out
744
00:32:48,132 --> 00:32:48,675
what their favorite drink is.
745
00:32:48,758 --> 00:32:49,550
Then give me the list.
746
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,886
I'll keep it behind the bar.
747
00:32:51,969 --> 00:32:53,930
When they come in, I will have
their drinks ready for them
748
00:32:54,013 --> 00:32:55,390
before their shorts
hit the store.
749
00:32:55,473 --> 00:32:56,683
[Interposing voices]
750
00:32:56,766 --> 00:32:59,227
Vicki, did you get a count
of the cotton balls and tongue
751
00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:00,770
depressors like I asked you?
752
00:33:00,853 --> 00:33:02,313
Well, I'm working on it, doc.
753
00:33:02,397 --> 00:33:04,399
Vicki, did you type
that letter to my mom yet?
754
00:33:04,482 --> 00:33:05,775
No, but I will.
755
00:33:05,858 --> 00:33:07,694
Oh boy, what a great
idea the captain had making
756
00:33:07,777 --> 00:33:08,569
Vicki our secretary, huh?
757
00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:10,029
Oh, marvelous idea.
758
00:33:10,113 --> 00:33:12,031
Well, my dad said he
was going to keep me busy.
759
00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:15,034
I didn't think he meant
for the rest of my life.
760
00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:18,287
Vicki, are you sure
you can handle all this?
761
00:33:18,371 --> 00:33:19,414
No problem.
762
00:33:19,497 --> 00:33:20,748
Good, because
after lunch, we have
763
00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:23,042
a lot more stuff for you to
do, like paperclips, pencils--
764
00:33:23,126 --> 00:33:24,502
I need pencils,
number two pencils--
765
00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:34,345
[interposing voices]
766
00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:39,100
[Music playing]
767
00:33:48,985 --> 00:33:49,694
Hi, Linda.
768
00:33:49,777 --> 00:33:52,155
No puerto vallarta for you?
769
00:33:52,238 --> 00:33:53,114
Mm-mm.
770
00:33:53,197 --> 00:33:53,781
No?
771
00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:54,615
You're missing a fun trip.
772
00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:56,075
I'm missing a fun
trip right here.
773
00:33:56,159 --> 00:33:56,951
Mm.
774
00:33:57,034 --> 00:33:58,953
Sounds like a
problem of the heart.
775
00:33:59,036 --> 00:33:59,704
Barry?
776
00:33:59,787 --> 00:34:00,747
Mm.
777
00:34:00,830 --> 00:34:02,290
You know, I thought it
was so nice to finally
778
00:34:02,373 --> 00:34:03,624
meet a man that
didn't come on to me
779
00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:06,294
the first minute he met me.
780
00:34:06,377 --> 00:34:07,462
That would be nice.
781
00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:08,963
Yeah, except for
one thing, I think
782
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,132
I could really fall for this
guy, and would you believe it?
783
00:34:11,215 --> 00:34:12,800
He's kicked the habit.
784
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:14,552
You wouldn't mean
he's stopped smoking?
785
00:34:14,635 --> 00:34:15,803
Are you kidding?
786
00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:17,555
That's the only thing
you will do in bed.
787
00:34:17,638 --> 00:34:19,682
I don't know.
788
00:34:19,766 --> 00:34:21,726
I guess somewhere along
the line some bad lady must
789
00:34:21,809 --> 00:34:23,311
have really turned him off.
790
00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:25,938
Well, that doesn't mean that
some good lady can't come along
791
00:34:26,022 --> 00:34:28,274
and turn him right back on.
792
00:34:28,357 --> 00:34:28,858
Yeah.
793
00:34:28,941 --> 00:34:30,860
Look at it this way.
794
00:34:30,943 --> 00:34:33,529
You're Florence nightingale and
you're giving aid and comfort
795
00:34:33,613 --> 00:34:37,158
to some poor sick soldier.
796
00:34:37,241 --> 00:34:38,493
Yeah.
797
00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:40,328
Maybe I better go practice
rolling my bandages.
798
00:34:40,411 --> 00:34:44,707
[Laughing]
799
00:34:48,753 --> 00:34:51,255
Doris: Get me bridge and a
two pound box of chocolates
800
00:34:51,339 --> 00:34:53,341
and I'm in heaven.
801
00:34:53,424 --> 00:34:54,675
You're going to
get there fast,
802
00:34:54,759 --> 00:34:59,847
Doris, if you don't stop getting
chocolate all over these cards.
803
00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:00,932
Well, ok.
804
00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:04,602
Shirley?
805
00:35:04,685 --> 00:35:05,436
Hmm?
806
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:06,729
Oh, I'm sorry.
807
00:35:06,813 --> 00:35:09,649
Why didn't you play my ace?
808
00:35:09,732 --> 00:35:11,526
I'm sorry, I didn't see it.
809
00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:13,611
Thanks for the gift.
810
00:35:13,694 --> 00:35:16,072
Shirley, wake up.
811
00:35:16,155 --> 00:35:17,406
Don't you have any clubs?
812
00:35:17,490 --> 00:35:20,076
Sorry.
813
00:35:20,159 --> 00:35:22,078
Oh, we all make mistakes.
814
00:35:22,161 --> 00:35:24,872
I just don't seem to
be able to concentrate.
815
00:35:24,956 --> 00:35:28,709
Well here, have a chocolate.
816
00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:30,461
That always helps
me concentrate.
817
00:35:30,545 --> 00:35:31,921
You should be in
a trance by now.
818
00:35:35,007 --> 00:35:39,345
Oh, Shirley, what is
the matter with you?
819
00:35:39,428 --> 00:35:40,388
I'm ruining all your fun.
820
00:35:40,471 --> 00:35:41,347
I--
821
00:35:41,430 --> 00:35:43,599
of course not.
822
00:35:43,683 --> 00:35:45,059
We're having a great time.
823
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,728
I'm spoiling it for you and I
just can't seem to help myself.
824
00:35:47,812 --> 00:35:49,856
I-- really, i--
825
00:35:49,939 --> 00:35:52,108
i-- I really am sorry.
826
00:35:52,191 --> 00:35:52,900
I--
827
00:36:00,157 --> 00:36:01,242
Listen, I think we were wrong.
828
00:36:01,325 --> 00:36:05,037
I didn't realize she
cared that much for him.
829
00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:07,498
I think I hate myself.
830
00:36:07,582 --> 00:36:08,749
Me too.
831
00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:12,128
Oh, Doris, how can you
eat at a time like this?
832
00:36:17,174 --> 00:36:17,925
She can.
833
00:36:20,761 --> 00:36:21,929
Julie (on megaphone):
We hope you enjoyed
834
00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:23,764
your stay in puerto vallarta.
835
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:25,683
Our next stop is the
port of Los Angeles.
836
00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:30,104
Captain: See you
later, Vicki, oh--
837
00:36:30,187 --> 00:36:32,481
miss stubing.
838
00:36:32,565 --> 00:36:34,525
Uh-- merrill, how's
the plan coming?
839
00:36:34,609 --> 00:36:35,943
Has Vicki quit her job yet?
840
00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:36,986
Not yet.
841
00:36:37,069 --> 00:36:37,945
Incredible.
842
00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:38,905
After all the work
we've piled up on her,
843
00:36:38,988 --> 00:36:41,115
she hasn't even complained?
844
00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:42,783
Not a word.
845
00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:45,119
Well, you should be very
proud of her, merrill.
846
00:36:45,202 --> 00:36:45,786
Oh, I am, Adam.
847
00:36:45,870 --> 00:36:47,455
I'm always proud of her.
848
00:36:47,538 --> 00:36:52,460
But tell me this, what do
we do if Vicki doesn't quit?
849
00:36:52,543 --> 00:36:53,961
Don't worry.
850
00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:54,754
We'll jump ship.
851
00:37:00,384 --> 00:37:04,680
[Music playing]
852
00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:51,852
I didn't even think
I'd see you again,
853
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:54,730
much less be dancing with you.
854
00:37:54,814 --> 00:37:55,773
Why?
855
00:37:55,856 --> 00:37:57,316
Well, when you left so
abruptly this morning,
856
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:02,279
I got the distinct feeling
I was making you uneasy.
857
00:38:02,363 --> 00:38:07,076
That maybe I was threatening
your vow of celibacy.
858
00:38:07,159 --> 00:38:07,952
No.
859
00:38:08,035 --> 00:38:08,577
I don't think anyone
could do that.
860
00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:10,413
No offense.
861
00:38:10,496 --> 00:38:12,665
It's just that i'm
a different guy
862
00:38:12,748 --> 00:38:13,666
from the Barry of last year.
863
00:38:16,502 --> 00:38:28,222
I'll bet at this time
last year, that was you,
864
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:38,274
all over some poor girl,
cheek to cheek, nose to nose,
865
00:38:38,357 --> 00:38:40,234
lips to lips.
866
00:38:40,317 --> 00:38:41,360
Yeah, that was me.
867
00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:42,319
I didn't miss a spot.
868
00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:49,410
I suppose you
were also a nibbler.
869
00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:52,788
Like a rabbit in
a field of corn.
870
00:38:52,872 --> 00:38:58,169
Now ears to me are
just hearing devices.
871
00:38:58,252 --> 00:39:02,798
Doesn't all this body contact
bring back any fond memories?
872
00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:06,719
Well, actually it does.
873
00:39:06,802 --> 00:39:08,512
It reminds me of
the last super bowl
874
00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:11,057
when the linebackers
racked up the quarterback.
875
00:39:28,741 --> 00:39:31,911
Frank, uh-- we got
something to tell you.
876
00:39:31,994 --> 00:39:33,079
Another surprise?
877
00:39:33,162 --> 00:39:35,289
If it's anything
like the last one,
878
00:39:35,373 --> 00:39:36,290
I better make this a double.
879
00:39:36,373 --> 00:39:41,045
Frank, listen,
Shirley's husband's dead.
880
00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:43,130
Dead?
881
00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:43,798
Well, when did it happen?
882
00:39:43,881 --> 00:39:46,384
About a year ago.
883
00:39:46,467 --> 00:39:49,470
A year?
884
00:39:49,553 --> 00:39:51,597
Why did you tell me
he was still alive?
885
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,642
We made it up.
886
00:39:54,725 --> 00:39:57,478
Ethel: It was the only way
to save our bridge game.
887
00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:59,730
Oh, frank, can you
ever forgive us?
888
00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:01,398
Doris: If you don't, we won't
tell you where Shirley is.
889
00:40:09,031 --> 00:40:09,657
Forgiven.
890
00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:10,741
Oh, good.
891
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:22,461
I don't why I let you talk me
into coming here for more wine?
892
00:40:22,545 --> 00:40:23,838
As a matter of fact, I think
you've had quite a few too many
893
00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:25,714
already.
894
00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:26,841
Oh, don't be such
a stick in the mud.
895
00:40:26,924 --> 00:40:29,218
This is special.
896
00:40:29,301 --> 00:40:31,804
This is our last night.
897
00:40:31,887 --> 00:40:32,638
Come on.
898
00:40:32,721 --> 00:40:34,265
Relax.
899
00:40:34,348 --> 00:40:38,018
Let's loosen this tie here, huh?
900
00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:39,895
And let's get rid
of this jacket.
901
00:40:39,979 --> 00:40:40,688
Mm.
902
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:49,864
[Inaudible] That's a
little bit better, hmm?
903
00:40:49,947 --> 00:40:51,532
A toast.
904
00:40:51,615 --> 00:40:53,033
To celibacy.
905
00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:53,868
To ecstasy.
906
00:41:01,250 --> 00:41:03,460
Now, Linda, don't
do anything rash.
907
00:41:03,544 --> 00:41:04,545
Remember my vow.
908
00:41:04,628 --> 00:41:06,255
Oh, I know all about your vow.
909
00:41:06,338 --> 00:41:07,590
I thought you and I
were more interested
910
00:41:07,673 --> 00:41:08,841
in the spiritual side?
911
00:41:08,924 --> 00:41:11,302
I love your spiritual side.
912
00:41:11,385 --> 00:41:11,886
I can't believe that
after a year of purity,
913
00:41:11,969 --> 00:41:13,888
I'm backsliding.
914
00:41:13,971 --> 00:41:15,556
Where did I go wrong?
915
00:41:15,639 --> 00:41:15,973
Don't fight it.
916
00:41:16,056 --> 00:41:17,975
Oh, well.
917
00:41:18,058 --> 00:41:19,476
I just hope you'll
respect me in the morning.
918
00:41:27,943 --> 00:41:29,904
Shirley?
919
00:41:29,987 --> 00:41:31,906
Frank.
920
00:41:31,989 --> 00:41:33,073
I'd like to explain
about this morning.
921
00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:36,076
There's nothing to explain.
922
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,412
You just decided to go ashore
without me, that's all.
923
00:41:38,495 --> 00:41:39,872
That's not all.
924
00:41:39,955 --> 00:41:41,290
I left without you
because I thought
925
00:41:41,373 --> 00:41:43,918
you were one of those
part-time wives who
926
00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:46,795
was looking for a
meaningless shipboard fling.
927
00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,255
Well, that wasn't for me.
928
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:50,466
Shirley: Well, I told
you I was a widow.
929
00:41:50,549 --> 00:41:51,717
Where did you ever get the
idea that I was married?
930
00:41:56,597 --> 00:41:58,515
No, they didn't.
931
00:41:58,599 --> 00:41:58,974
They couldn't have.
932
00:41:59,058 --> 00:42:00,267
I mean, really.
933
00:42:00,351 --> 00:42:03,437
Don't be angry
with them Shirley.
934
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,940
Bridge is all they have.
935
00:42:06,023 --> 00:42:07,816
Think of what we could have.
936
00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:08,609
Hey.
937
00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:17,910
You know, we're the
first bridge foursome I've
938
00:42:17,993 --> 00:42:19,370
ever seen with three dummies.
939
00:42:48,774 --> 00:42:51,026
Is that you, dad?
940
00:42:51,110 --> 00:42:52,569
It's the captain.
941
00:42:52,653 --> 00:42:55,781
Oh-- oh, I must
have fallen asleep.
942
00:42:55,864 --> 00:42:56,907
I'm sorry.
943
00:42:56,991 --> 00:42:59,326
Miss stubing, I don't
consider sleeping on the job
944
00:42:59,410 --> 00:43:01,412
the same as doing the job.
945
00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:04,164
But it was only
for a minute, dad.
946
00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:05,541
It's captain.
947
00:43:05,624 --> 00:43:07,084
And if I dozed off
for only a minute,
948
00:43:07,167 --> 00:43:09,169
where do you think this
ship might wind up?
949
00:43:09,253 --> 00:43:11,755
I'm sorry.
950
00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:17,344
Vicki, this isn't easy
for me, but as the captain,
951
00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:19,179
I've learned the
true meaning of duty,
952
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:22,558
responsibility, leadership.
953
00:43:22,641 --> 00:43:27,688
I'm afraid I'm going to have
to relieve you of your duties.
954
00:43:27,771 --> 00:43:29,690
You are?
955
00:43:29,773 --> 00:43:31,692
I mean, you are.
956
00:43:31,775 --> 00:43:35,195
We all appreciate your
dedication to your job.
957
00:43:35,279 --> 00:43:38,824
Now, it's a company policy
that you receive some sort
958
00:43:38,907 --> 00:43:42,161
of severance pay, so I've
decided that yours will
959
00:43:42,244 --> 00:43:45,873
be the largest banana
royal chocolate
960
00:43:45,956 --> 00:43:48,208
chip rainbow sherbet
ice cream sundae
961
00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:50,252
ever made aboard this ship.
962
00:43:50,336 --> 00:43:52,296
That was for the sundae.
963
00:43:52,379 --> 00:43:54,048
What was that for?
964
00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:55,341
For firing me.
965
00:43:58,177 --> 00:44:01,930
[Music playing]
966
00:44:04,099 --> 00:44:08,228
Oh, Barry, I feel so guilty
about pulling that dirty trick
967
00:44:08,312 --> 00:44:09,521
on you last night,
but believe me,
968
00:44:09,605 --> 00:44:15,152
I only did it to show
you that I love you.
969
00:44:15,235 --> 00:44:17,738
I'm sorry.
970
00:44:17,821 --> 00:44:19,114
You're sorry.
971
00:44:19,198 --> 00:44:22,409
When it comes to dirty tricks,
you're strictly little league.
972
00:44:22,493 --> 00:44:23,452
Meaning?
973
00:44:23,535 --> 00:44:26,497
Well, right now i'm
torn between two feelings.
974
00:44:26,580 --> 00:44:29,458
One is wonderful and
the other is rotten.
975
00:44:29,541 --> 00:44:32,252
Wonderful, because I just had
the experience of a lifetime
976
00:44:32,336 --> 00:44:36,590
with a super lady and rotten
because this whole celibacy
977
00:44:36,673 --> 00:44:39,760
thing was just a scheme.
978
00:44:39,843 --> 00:44:40,803
A scheme?
979
00:44:40,886 --> 00:44:45,099
I'm about as
celibate as a mink.
980
00:44:45,182 --> 00:44:48,143
Get out.
981
00:44:48,227 --> 00:44:51,230
Ok.
982
00:44:51,313 --> 00:44:53,315
But there's one little
extra piece of information
983
00:44:53,399 --> 00:44:55,025
you ought to know.
984
00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:56,235
I love you too.
985
00:44:56,318 --> 00:45:00,447
I really love you.
986
00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:01,782
What is, uh--
987
00:45:01,865 --> 00:45:03,450
that part of the routine?
988
00:45:03,534 --> 00:45:05,452
Does that go along with
the rest of the scam,
989
00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:08,247
you tell them you love them,
they'll forgive you anything.
990
00:45:08,330 --> 00:45:09,623
I don't blame you
for not believing me,
991
00:45:09,706 --> 00:45:12,418
but for what it's
worth, it's the truth.
992
00:45:16,255 --> 00:45:19,216
After all, why would
I have confessed?
993
00:45:25,931 --> 00:45:26,640
Barry?
994
00:45:30,561 --> 00:45:32,312
You do?
995
00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:33,522
You really do love me?
996
00:45:44,908 --> 00:45:46,201
[Laughing]
997
00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:47,661
What's so funny?
998
00:45:47,744 --> 00:45:48,829
I was just thinking,
I hope all of our sons
999
00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:50,747
grow up to be celibate,
just like their old man.
1000
00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:07,806
[Music playing]
1001
00:46:12,853 --> 00:46:14,021
Well, it looks
like Dr. Leonhardt
1002
00:46:14,104 --> 00:46:16,023
took you out of the
bridge club, Mr. Simpson.
1003
00:46:16,106 --> 00:46:17,608
Well, not exactly.
1004
00:46:17,691 --> 00:46:19,735
We're switching
to honeymoon bridge.
1005
00:46:19,818 --> 00:46:21,153
Awe, congratulations.
1006
00:46:21,236 --> 00:46:22,362
Thank you.
1007
00:46:22,446 --> 00:46:23,489
- Thanks for sailing with us.
- Bye bye.
1008
00:46:23,572 --> 00:46:24,031
Hope you like
1009
00:46:24,114 --> 00:46:25,115
[interposing voices]
1010
00:46:25,199 --> 00:46:25,866
Oh, Shirley--
1011
00:46:25,949 --> 00:46:28,368
Shirley, can you
ever forgive us?
1012
00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:29,870
Oh, [inaudible]
1013
00:46:29,953 --> 00:46:30,871
Oh, I feel terrible.
1014
00:46:30,954 --> 00:46:32,039
Oh, honey, no.
1015
00:46:32,122 --> 00:46:35,709
Shirley, Doris hasn't had
any chocolate in 12 hours.
1016
00:46:35,792 --> 00:46:37,252
Oh, we're sorry, honest.
1017
00:46:37,336 --> 00:46:38,587
No, it's ok.
Why?
1018
00:46:38,670 --> 00:46:39,630
It was wonderful.
1019
00:46:39,713 --> 00:46:40,839
Really?
1020
00:46:40,923 --> 00:46:43,550
Let's just say that, uh--
it's water under the bridge.
1021
00:46:43,634 --> 00:46:45,969
[Interposing voices]
1022
00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:47,971
All right, after
that, we leave.
1023
00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:49,264
[Interposing voices]
1024
00:46:49,348 --> 00:46:50,224
Congratulations.
1025
00:46:50,307 --> 00:46:51,391
We'll miss you.
1026
00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:52,559
Bye.
1027
00:46:52,643 --> 00:46:53,393
Here, let me give
you hand with this.
1028
00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:53,977
Oh, no, no.
1029
00:46:54,061 --> 00:46:55,562
Don't bother, Isaac.
1030
00:46:55,646 --> 00:46:58,232
Doris likes to
carry her own candy.
1031
00:46:58,315 --> 00:46:58,607
Goodbye.
1032
00:46:58,690 --> 00:47:01,485
Bye bye.
1033
00:47:01,568 --> 00:47:02,736
Thanks for sailing with us.
1034
00:47:02,819 --> 00:47:03,570
Bye bye.
1035
00:47:08,075 --> 00:47:09,159
Uh-- nice cruise, Linda?
1036
00:47:09,243 --> 00:47:10,869
Yes.
1037
00:47:10,953 --> 00:47:10,994
Thank you, Dr. Bricker.
1038
00:47:14,581 --> 00:47:15,749
I told you.
1039
00:47:15,832 --> 00:47:17,709
She came on by herself and
that's the way she's leaving.
1040
00:47:17,793 --> 00:47:18,710
$50 bucks, please?
1041
00:47:23,006 --> 00:47:23,257
Well, so long, doc.
1042
00:47:23,340 --> 00:47:25,133
Barry.
1043
00:47:25,217 --> 00:47:26,426
If you ever want to
talk to the iceberg,
1044
00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:28,136
she'll be thawing out
around my fireplace.
1045
00:47:39,731 --> 00:47:41,650
Doc, let me tell you a
little something about women.
1046
00:47:41,733 --> 00:47:44,486
Gopher, at a time like this,
silence is not only golden,
1047
00:47:44,570 --> 00:47:45,654
but it could save your life.
1048
00:47:49,616 --> 00:47:52,995
Well, Vicki, how does it feel
to be a lady of leisure again?
1049
00:47:53,078 --> 00:47:54,162
Well, I love
it, but, you know,
1050
00:47:54,246 --> 00:47:56,081
I can't spend the rest
of my life doing nothing.
1051
00:47:56,164 --> 00:47:58,041
Oh, I wouldn't mind a
couple of weeks of that.
1052
00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:01,628
Did I hear spend the rest
of my life doing nothing?
1053
00:48:01,712 --> 00:48:03,046
Gopher, tell her how it's done.
1054
00:48:03,130 --> 00:48:03,755
Careful, doc.
1055
00:48:03,839 --> 00:48:04,631
I'll tel them about Linda.
1056
00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:06,216
Oh, you wouldn't, would you?
1057
00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:09,344
Oh, Julie, I want you to
remind you to talk to the chef
1058
00:48:09,428 --> 00:48:10,804
before our next trip.
1059
00:48:10,887 --> 00:48:12,681
I think the desserts
should be a little fancier.
1060
00:48:12,764 --> 00:48:13,974
Yes, sir.
1061
00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:15,726
Well, dad, you know that I can
bake cakes and other things--
1062
00:48:27,738 --> 00:48:31,033
[Theme music]
72774
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