All language subtitles for [SubtitleTools.com] Secrets of Playboy S02E01 -Quem quer ser Playmate_track3_[eng]

In 2002, Playboy was doing

their first-ever
nationally televised search

for a "Playboy" centerfold.

ANNOUNCER: Fox tonight,

12 sexy girls next door
find out what it takes

to become a "Playboy" Playmate.

It was similar to, like,

an "America’s Next Top Model"
but for Playmates.

On the show,
there were different levels

of undress that were happening.

I didn’t even know
how to pose in a sexual way.

Posing naked
for the first time...

was terrifying.

I was very insecure
about my body.

Once I posed for the show,
I was no longer Jill Scott.

I was now Jill that posed naked.

It’s so wrong.

That’s the dark side,
is what people say,

you know, behind your back

or to your parents
or to your kids.

We signed up for it, you know?

We kinda knew
what we were going into.

But with "Playboy,"
you can either thrive in it...

or it can chew you up
and spit you out.

[motor revving]

My name is Hugh Hefner.

I’m editor-publisher
of "Playboy" Magazine.

REPORTER: Playboy is one

of the most famous brand names
in the world.

It was simply to include sex as

one natural part of a package
for a male audience.

WOMAN: When I made the choice
to do "Playboy,"

I didn’t realize all
the choices that I was making

that came with that choice.

WOMAN #2: We don’t judge the men
for buying the "Playboy"s,

but we judge the women
for posing for "Playboy."

JILL:
I was never Jill anymore.

I was Jill
that posed for "Playboy."

WOMAN #3: I just gave in
and knew that I was

probably gonna go to hell.

WOMAN #4:
It got to a certain point

where it wasn’t fun anymore.

SONDRA:
This process was very painful,

but I should be able to tell
my story as I lived it.

Growing up,
my first "Playboy" memory

would just be, in general,
the beautiful women.

It was,
you know, Carmen Electra,

Pam Anderson, Anna Nicole,
the--the start of it all--

Marilyn Monroe,
the most beautiful women.

When I found
my dad’s "Playboy"s,

I just thought
the women were beautiful,

and I just wanted
to look like that.

I wanted to be like that.

Playboy opened up a world

that I would have never known,

But that could be good or bad.

In 2001, the Playboy brand
had a bit of a renaissance.

At the time, Hefner had
just broken up with his wife.

He was back on the market.

PHOTOGRAPHER:
This way now, girls. This way.

Playboy also was in the market
to try to mainstream their brand

’cause the print media
was going out of business.

Hefner saw his business dying.

So, it’s not surprising

that any company
would do whatever they have to

to kind of sell what
they need to to other people.

So, 2001,
there was several years

of house shows that were being
pretty mainstream on MTV,

like "The Real World,"

"Road Rules,"

"Making the Band."

It was the peak
of reality shows.

I don’t know anybody that didn’t
spend their afternoons watching

"Real World"
or "Road Rules" on MTV.

This was the, like, explosion
of reality TV.

So, if Playboy could come up
with a television show,

it could lead to other things.
Playboy could be mainstream.

And so the chance to pick a
"Playboy" Playmate on television

was something that
really hadn’t been seen before.

So, ultimately,
Playboy got a sale

for a 2-hour special on Fox,

and I was appointed
the showrunner.

Our goal was
to ultimately give everybody

a glimpse what it’s like picking
a "Playboy" centerfold

without being perverse.

HEFNER: This is the portal to
the possibility of Hollywood

or modeling or some moment
in the sun as a celebrity.

"Who Wants to Be
a Playboy Centerfold?"--

it was similar to, like,
an "America’s Next Top Model,"

but for Playmates.

The prize was becoming
the centerfold,

being Playmate, Mis July 2002.

So, the dream of being
a centerfold, obviously, is

for the fame,
but it is very lucrative.

It’s very lucrative.

A centerfold gets $25,000
for Playmate of the Month

and $100,000
for Playmate of the Year,

and you can actually turn that
into a whole career.

When we were out casting

for "Who Wants to Be
a Playboy Centerfold?",

there were
thousands of submissions.

D.J.: Star 98.7, Los Angeles.

Right now,
down at Playboy Studio West,

Hugh Hefner is
looking for 12 finalists

to compete for "Playboy"’s
Playmate of the Month.

We really spread
a pretty wide net in the process

because we were
looking for something

that Playboy had--had embodied
for years and years and years--

that real experience

of someone being plucked
out of hometown USA

and brought to Los Angeles
and living the dream.

Hef always said that--that
when he was picking Playmates,

he wanted it to be
the girl next door.

That would be what would--
to him, what made it special

is the girl that you never
thought would do it,

not the girl
that you knew would.

My name is Shallan.
I’m 20 years old,

and I’m from Las Vegas.

Playboy was not my dream.

I had just moved back
to Las Vegas.

I got a job at Spago
as a hostess,

and you get all
different types of people

that come into Spago’s
that was in Caesar’s Palace.

And this woman
and another woman walk up,

and she said, "Can I ask you
a couple questions?

Are your boobs real?"

In my mind, I’m thinking,
I’m not sure

if this woman’s hitting on me.
I just politely smiled

and said, "Yes, they are."
[laughs]

And so she gave me her card,
and she said, "Listen,

we’re doing the last round
of casting for this show.

I think you’d be great for,
but it’s with ’Playboy.’"

My face just looked like this.

So, I let her know
I was only 20,

so she told me
I should talk to my mom.

I had never even seen
a "Playboy" before.

So, my mom thought
it would be really important

for me to go pick up
a "Playboy," look at it,

and see if the photos made me
comfortable or not,

see if it even seemed like
something I could possibly do.

But I was shy, so to pick up,
you know, the magazine

that had the black cover on it,
like, quietly pay for it,

I remember looking
at the "Playboy" and thinking,

wow, these women are gorgeous.

I thought there is no way

that they could make me
look like those girls.

You know, ’cause those girls--
they just don’t look real.

I felt like I was peeling
through the pictures,

kind of getting, uh, nervous,
’cause I knew whatever it was

was a big opportunity.

It’s just whether or not
I could be comfortable enough

to go through with it,
and I’m like,

what I told my mom is,

I don’t know if I’m gonna be
able to get naked.

She goes, "Well, there’s only
one way to find out." [laughs]

I was incredibly shy,

and the idea of walking around
in a swimsuit

made me uncomfortable.

I was scared,
but, um, tired of being scared.

I don’t know--I feel like
everyone’s done that before,

where there’s a lot
of opportunities that led up

to this opportunity, where
I wondered what could have been,

but I was just too afraid
to do something.

My mother said,
"Well, what are you thinking?"

And I told her, "I don’t know."

I was sitting there,
and all I could think about was,

what if I’m 80 years old,

and I have this story
of what could have been,

what I could have said yes to.

I could either be 80 years old
and be like,

"You know,
somebody tried to cast me once,"

or I could be, "Hey, let me
show you these crazy pictures.

Grandma was hot once."
[laughs]

So, I went ahead and I said yes.

I want to say
it was about two days later

that I had to fly to L.A.
for the casting.

I was not very good at makeup.

Uh, my hair was a lot like this,
and I was in, like, cargo pants.

So, I’m getting on the airplane
with these girls.

These girls had the heels.
They had the lashes.

They had the lips.
They had the hair.

What am I doing here? [laughs]

Like, why am I even here?

Is this a waste of time?
Is this a joke?

Am I, like, the, okay, they have
to throw that girl in there?

Right?

We get there, and right away

they take us
to Playboy Studio West.

Uh, they have me
put on a bathing suit,

put on a robe
within a handful of minutes,

and the whole time,
this crew is filming me.

-I’m Billy.
-Shallan.

-Shallan?
-Shallan.

We’re just gonna take
about 10 or so Polaroids.

Okay. I’ve never done
anything like that before, so...

-Oh, really? Okay.
-Really.

Then you are just like
the girl next door.

The casting just kind of
threw you in, like, hard,

like, "All right,
take your top off.

We got to get a Polaroid."

And I’m like... [gasps]

And they’re like,
"It’s now or never."

ANNOUNCER: One by one,
the ladies will be eliminated

until the chosen one becomes
the magazine’s Miss July.

Hi, I’m Carmella.

I’m from Westlake, Ohio,
and I’m 19.

I was so young. So young.

I grew up in Cleveland, Ohio.

I was not
a very pretty young girl.

I got made fun of at school.

I used to go home crying
every day from school.

I was a super shy,
very intimidated little girl.

But by the time I turned 19,
Playboy came to town

for "Who Wants to Be
a Playboy Centerfold?"

It was on the local news

and explained the premise
of the show,

and I looked at the TV,
and I’m like,

"I’m gonna do that."

So, I take it you’re interested
in being in "Playboy"?

Yes, I wanna be a Playmate.

I’m nervous, but I’m kind of
excited, though.

The audition process
in and of itself

was, uh, very intimidating.

There’s no preparation.

It was--it’s--it’s a freak out.
It’s a freak-out moment.

I didn’t even know how
to pose in a sexual way.

I was 19,
so it was definitely new

and, um...awkward.

My name is Lauren Anderson.
I’m 21 years old,

and I’m
from Gainesville, Florida.

I would like to be
a veterinarian someday.

Animals are--
are definitely my passion.

Playboy wasn’t on--

I mean, no,
that was not something

that I had a dream of being.

I was in college
at the University of Florida,

and I was studying
to be a veterinarian.

Being in "Playboy" when

the situation presented itself,
I was in my senior year.

I had done a little bit
of local modeling,

and my agent, uh, called me
and said that Playboy

was coming to do
the "College Girls" issue.

She said, "Just go. You don’t
have to do it, you know?

Just go see
what it’s all about."

And I-I went, and, um,

I told them that
I would not pose fully nude,

but they said, okay,

and--and they still selected me
to represent my university,

and I was only topless.

You know, Playboy is--it has--
they have this way

of just making you feel
totally comfortable,

even when you’re--even when
you’re standing there

without a top on.

When I was in high school,
middle school,

I always was worried about
my body and what it looked like.

And even though
I was thin, again,

I-I didn’t have a perfect body.
Nobody has a perfect body.

But I had these boobs that were,
you know,

yes, you know, boys loved ’em,

but they were these boobs
that were a real issue for me.

This is the "College Girls"
issue that I was in,

representing
the University of Florida

for "Girls of the SEC,"

and there’s mine.

-PRODUCER: How old were you?
-Just turned 21.

So shortly after I did
the "College Girls" issue,

I got a call from Playboy
that they were doing a--

their first-ever nationally,
um, televised search

for a "Playboy" centerfold

and asked if I wanted to go
and audition in Miami.

I kind of went, just like,
oh, that--

that would be a cool experience.

She had driven down from, um,

her college
at University of Florida.

Lauren was very confident.

Um, you can tell
she is competitive,

and she definitely understood
what she was doing there

and what her goals were, um,

but she was insecure
in her own body in some ways,

which made her interesting
to us.

Very nice right there.
One, two, and three.

-[camera shutter clicks]
-Very--That is beautiful.

Excellent. Arch your back.

-Three.
-[camera shutter clicks]

Ugh. Tugs at my heartstrings,
seeing myself like that.

It’s pretty uncomfortable,
though.

That--That--That shot
that’s on all fours,

that was a little odd.
I don’t remember doing that.

You know, I feel like when I’m--
I’m watching that,

I’m just this kid.

Even though
I’m an adult, obviously,

and just posing on all fours

and, you know,
posing in a bikini,

like, it’s no big thing,

and then jump in my Mustang
and head back to college.

[laughs]

I was just
so young and innocent.

My name is Jill Scott.

I’m 21 years old,
and I’m from Atlanta, Georgia.

[laughs]

When I was 20,

I worked at a club in Atlanta,

and I ran into a girl that
I also worked with at Hooters.

She ran up to me,
and she was like,

"Oh, my gosh,
I just shot for ’Playboy.’"

And I was like,
"I would love to--

What? I would love to do that."

So within a week, I was doing
my test shots for "Playboy."

That was my first time ever,
ever posing nude.

It just--It never bothered me.
It...

I ended up doing,
like, 20 special editions.

"Playboy College Girls,"

"Playboy Nudes,"
"Playboy Lingerie."

So, the...photographer
that shot me

for these special editions
called me one day and said,

"Get--Get your butt down
to Atlanta." [laughs]

She didn’t even tell me
what it was about.

She just said,
"They’re doing a casting call."

So, I get there,
and they took a headshot.

The raw Polaroid.

There’s no hair.
There’s no makeup.

There’s no lighting.
It is what you look like.

The--The girls that I saw
in my audition were flawless.

Fake boobs, spray-tanned,
itty-bitty waist.

So, I had no idea if I should
have even been there,

or if I was
just really good drama.

Hey, let’s take this girl that’s
never even seen a "Playboy,"

that hasn’t done anything,
and let’s just throw her in.

[blows raspberry]
See what happens.

I would definitely put you
onto the next round.

-Really?
-Absolutely. Absolutely.

So, you’re in there
for the interview.

[laughs]

So, when the women
were selected,

Hefner was very good
at that part of verbalizing

what this woman had
or what this woman lacked

or what they thought was
important here

or what they thought
were contenders there.

Jill Scott. Any reactions?

She looks like
a Texas cheerleader to me.

Mm-hmm. She looks like
a very logical candidate.

So, I got the final phone call,

and they said, "You’ve made it.
You’re coming to L.A.,"

which I’ve never even been
on a plane before. [laughs]

Being one of 12 girls chosen in
the entire country was surreal.

-You’ve been picked.
-[screams and laughs]

[loud cheers and laughter]

I wasn’t sure if
I could go through with it,

but I was really excited.

-Hi. Is this Shallan?
-Yes, it is.

You’re coming out to California

[laughs]

I was shocked
when they picked me.

You were one of the people
that, um, was chosen.

Yay. [laughs]

I wasn’t terrified of posing.
I wasn’t terrified of "Playboy."

I was terrified
of living in a house

and competing
with 11 other women.

CARMELLA: I was so excited,

nervous, shocked.

There were just
such a range of emotions

that I felt terrified,

and especially coming
from such a small town,

it was so difficult
for me to leave.

But I had dreams, and big ones.

Next thing I knew,
I was landing at LAX

and completely freaking out.

When you first walk
in the house,

all the furniture was beautiful,

and it, you know,
just didn’t really seem real.

Everybody just sort of
walked around

talking to each other about,
you know,

"What do you do?"
Or--and, you know,

"What modeling have you done?"

That’s all the chatter was,

comparing ourselves
to everybody else.

I was, um, Savannah’s
Miss Hawaiian Tropic.

We talked with "Playboy,"
and we really came up

with a 3-pronged attack

of how we’re going
to feature the women,

because we need to show
the audience

that there was a process, right?

How they look in a bikini,

how they look over here
by the banister.

And, obviously, in this process,

there were different levels
of undress that were happening.

The audition process
with cameras--

that--I mean,
that was really intense,

but that is nothing compared
to the actual experience

of filming a reality show.

You were just filmed 24/7.

They were filming everything
at all times.

You start to open your eyes,

and literally there’s
somebody standing over a bed,

like, with the camera
in your face

watching you wake up.

And like most
house reality shows,

there were definitely characters
that everyone was playing,

and--and whether or not
you realized it,

the production company itself

had already picked which
character you were gonna be.

I believed that they decided

I’d be
the quiet, relatable underdog.

From the beginning, I was
typecast as the wild child.

I am definitely
the wild girl from Atlanta.

I drank and ended up showing
my...clit piercing.

Let me see.

I am, too. Oh, my God.
Look at mine. [laughs]

So, one night,
we went out to a bar in L.A.

[cheers and laughter]

WOMAN:
Jill is the total wild child,

the one that you get around,

and you just can’t wait to see
what she’s gonna do next.

WOMAN #2:
Playmates can be really wild,

but I think she just got
a little too wild.

Not to say that we’re not here
to have fun.

We just drank, and I just got
on a table and danced.

I know I wasn’t the only one,
but they cut it

to make me look like
I was the only one.

But your first night here,

you don’t wanna get trashed
and wasted,

and we’re all here, like,
on business.

It’s really important that
we do well and we look well,

and you don’t wanna do anything
to jeopardize that.

The way I saw it is
we were filming for "Playboy."

We were con--We were competing
for centerfold,

not for Catholic Schoolgirl
of the Month.

You know,
they wanted fun and wild.

That’s the bunny.
That’s the--the whole logo.

A bunny is fun,
and they have a lot of sex.

When I made the show, it was
definitely a dream come true.

This could be something
that would--

really would change my life,

and I don’t mean in acting
or, you know,

what I can get away
from all the things at home.

You know,
I had a chaotic childhood.

Um...

Well, yeah, I mean,
my mom’s [bleep]

snuck in my room at night,
so, you know, there was that.

Mm.

Yeah. Yeah.

Once my dad found out
that I’d been molested...

the court did not...

they--they didn’t charge him
the way that they should

because I’d been running away,
but I’d been running away

because I’d been--
being molested.

And that definitely
sticks with, you know,

in probably a lot
of the choices that I made.

So, I did not become, like,

the bad girl of the show
on purpose.

I felt free, like... [laughs]
I was across the country.

For once,
I’m doing something for me,

and I’m far away from home.

You don’t like it?
Kiss my ass. Just kidding.

[laughs]

I just...

probably hadn’t hit
a wild phase yet in my life.

I struggled from the time
that I literally landed at LAX

and felt so out of place.

I just wanted to tell you
you’re all welcome.

I know some of you have
been going through

a little emotional thing
related to being away from home.

And any of you who are having
any kind of mixed emotions...

-...don’t have.
-[laughter]

It’s gonna be a grand adventure

and something
you’re never gonna forget.

It was probably

about 24 hours of being there
and then seeing the other girls

and seeing kinda
how the competition was going,

and we hadn’t shot
any nudes yet.

I knew it was coming.

I’m sure that the anticipation
of that

made it a hundred times worse.

-What do you think it is?
-I don’t know.

What is it? Is it the nudity
that bothers you,

or is it being a--
-Obviously, I’ve never shot

a nide before, and I think that.

-You’ve never shot modeling?
-No, I never shot any nudes.

I don’t know.
I just don’t feel like it’s me.

I wanna go home.
I’m out of my element.

I’m out of my comfort zone.

[line rings]

-WOMAN: Hello?
-Hi.

-Hi.
-I think I’m gonna come home.

-Why?
-It’s just not me. I mean,

this is--honestly, I mean,
it’s how I feel. It’s not me.

Well, Carmella, everybody has
discomfort the first time aroun

when they’re doing things,
but, you know, you--

I just feel that it’s not me,
though. I’m more of, like--

like, a modest person
that wants to do, like,

like, a--a commercial
or something like that.

It’s just
I don’t want to do it,

and then be like, well,
I wasn’t comfortable doing it,

and now I’m still
not comfortable doing it.

But, Carmella, the thing is,
all that you’ve done

is make the trip out there.

Have you gone through
any of the motions yet?

No, you haven’t,

so the accomplishment
that you’re telling me

you’re glad that you went,

what, that you got on a plane
and went to L.A.?

CARMELLA: Well, I’m not--

I’m definitely not gonna
reconsider. Like, I’m...

I feel pretty strongly about it

-Okay. [sighs]
-I hope you’re--

You sure you don’t wanna
change your mind?

-I really don’t.
-Well, just call me

when you get there.
-Okay.

-Love you.
-All right, bye-bye.

[hangs up receiver]

Um...sad.
It makes me feel sad.

I had a total freak-out moment,
and I probably,

as a 19-year-old,
needed the support,

needed the support
that it was okay to come home

and that it was okay
that I’m not ready.

So, yeah, it’s emotional.
It’s hard. It’s hard.

I felt like
I disappointed my mom.

Even though
this was a reality show,

you weren’t voting at home.

It was Hef.
It was Hef and Hef’s team,

and, really, mostly Hef
that was making

the deciding factors as to who
would make it to the next round.

Half these girls, at minimum,
are good candidates for...

-WOMAN: Yep.
-MAN: Mm-hmm, yeah.

-...for Playmates...
-MAN: Yes, we all agree.

...you know, which puts us
in a very nice place.

Once we were at six contestants,

we all did
the fully nude photo shoot.

The fully nude photo shoot
upped everything.

It upped the ante,
it upped the drama,

it upped the competition,
and a lot of the tension,

just because everything
got more real.

Posing naked for the first time
was terrifying.

So, you walk in on set.
There’s lights everywhere.

I was shaking on my heels,
just...

My eyes just kind of looked...

"Turn your hip this way.
Turn that way.

I need to put light
on this angle.

I need to fix this.
I need to fix that."

In a way, you are the product.

I feel like you weren’t
even seen necessarily

as a person
when you were shooting.

It was almost like a mannequin.

I was very insecure
about my body.

Even though I was
a contestant on this show,

my body image was a big issue
for me.

To pose naked,

it was definitely something
inside of me

that I had to really overcome

because it was probably
my biggest issue with myself.

When I shot my fully nude shoot,

I had shot before for "Playboy,"

but not on that scale
and not at such a big studio

that so many amazing women
have shot before me.

[sighs] You know,
if I had to be honest,

I felt they already knew
who they were gonna pick,

so I felt mine
was a little rushed.

After we filmed
the nude photo shoot,

they cut three girls
and left three finalists.

Today’s the day where
they have to pick three

to move on to shoot
their "Playboy" centerfold.

Christina.

Playmate candidate number two
is Lauren.

And our final Playmate
candidate is Shallan.

I never thought I’d win.

I never thought
I was good enough.

It hurt my feelings
so bad because

that dream of being a centerfold
was over.

[crying] I love you all.
Y’all...

[door creaks]

Maybe that’s why
I had the tears,

because I just
didn’t wanna go home.

So, the final challenge
for the three of us left

was a centerfold shoot.

To shoot the actual centerfold
that comes

in and out of the magazine.

It’s "Playboy." It’s like
the number-one selling magazine

in the world,
and these are the real shots

that will go in the magazine,
you know, if they’re chosen.

I was very concerned
about being fully nude.

I didn’t want to show my body,
um, but I was there competing,

so my competitive nature
kicked in.

Then I wanted to win.

I-I-I never thought
I could have photos

that looked quite so beautiful.

So, we did our centerfold shoot.

The three of us
then just went back to the house

and waited for Hef
to look at the centerfolds

and for them to decide
the winner of the show.

What I like most about Shallan,
is, uh, is the face.

Lauren--you cannot beat
that schoolgirl fantasy.

I think Shallan makes the
biggest impression in person.

Lauren is the most photogenic,

but I am going to go with...

Then they sat
the three of us down

on a couch in the living room.

I have three envelopes here.

Inside the envelope contains
an invitation

to become a "Playboy" Playmate.

You come this far.

I mean, once we’re there,
I mean, we all wanted to win.

You realized, wow, I might--
I might actually do this.

When I opened the envelope

and saw that it said,
"Congratulations,"

you know, I was happy that
I-I had come all this way

and that it was worth it.

I think if I hadn’t won,

maybe it might not have
made me feel more confident

and a-a stronger person.

Even with all these
body image issues,

it made me feel something

that I didn’t know
I felt that I had inside.

Lauren was announced,
and Christina and I--

we were at the hotel
with a tail--

our tails between our legs,

waiting to go home
in the morning.

And we got a phone call,
and it was Hef asking us,

how would we like
to be Playmates, too?

Yeah, it was pretty intense.
We were both really excited.

Like, really excited.

You know, I stayed the winner
of the show,

and that’s what mattered to me.

So, I was happy when Christina
and Shallan became Playmates.

It’s sad
that the experience is over,

but I’m glad I did it,
and I’m glad I won. [laughs]

So, thank you.

I watched the show, yes,
when it came on.

I had a--we had a house party
at my mom’s house.

We had lots of people over,

and every--
we all watched it, yes.

Well, they didn’t show the--
the naked parts on national TV,

so that was--
they didn’t show those parts,

or they blurted out.

ANNOUNCER:
Wanna find the perfect Playmate

Take a behind-the-scenes look

at "Girl Next Door: The Search
for a Playboy Centerfold."

When the women came to the show,
obviously, they knew

they were signing up
for the Fox television show.

And in the paperwork that they
signed, ultimately, you know,

Playboy was going to do their
version of the show itself.

"Who Wants to Be
a Playboy Centerfold?"

My job was to, um, edit the show
for the Fox TV show,

and for the uncensored version,

Playboy had a team
that was gonna come in and make

the uncensored version.

And so they all fully
understood that going into it.

Once the show aired,
it--it was hard for me.

When I first saw
the unedited version,

it was shocking.

Everything that I did,
it was on the unedited version.

This was obviously
before social media,

but there were still blogs.

There was nothing positive.

Went from girl to girl to girl.

They broke us all down.

Everything bad about us.

I think that they fed off of
what they saw on the show.

It was okay
for the men on the show.

They were breaking us down.

-Jill.
-This girl’s face is fantastic,

but there’s some body problems.

The only problem that I have
with her physically

is the breasts.

She’s a little long
in the torso.

She’s a little thick
in the body.

Which led to people online

feeling
that they could do the same.

But they’re kind of nastier

’cause there’s nobody
to filter them, you know,

or edit them.

The very first article I read,
he was quoting me as saying,

"I’d never seen
a ’Playboy’ before."

And his--and then he said,
"Yeah, right.

She looks like
the town’s teeter-totter."

And I was, like, on the floor,
bawling. It, like, destroyed me.

[crying]

Why would I cry now?

Which is... [exhales deeply]

of course, one of the reasons
why even now I’m like, oh, God.

[cries]

Mm.

[laughs] I don’t know,
but everyone’s had a go,

Just a troll.
But being 20, it hit deep.

So, then I didn’t look
at anything else.

My mom’s like, "Well...
[sighs] you picked this world.

You picked this life.

So, you’re either gonna have
to hide away from everything

or get the toughest skin

and know that most people
aren’t gonna agree with you,

and most people
won’t have nice things to say."

That was it.

The three girls that won,
their life changed.

You know, so they--they went
on tour. You know what I mean?

Like, they didn’t really
have to go back to real life.

You know,
I’m from a smaller town.

I mean, I’m outside of Atlanta,
you know?

Lived there my whole life,

so, I mean, everyone knew
who I was.

[sighs] I was an easy target.

After the show,
the jealousy and the judgment

in my small town,
it really brought me down.

I guess people just wanted
to come after me.

At the time of filming,

I was a single mother,
and my daughter was 2.

So, a group of girls
from my small town

started attacking me using CPS.

That’s
Child Protective Services.

They contacted them,
and they told them lies,

and they used "Playboy,"
you know,

as the--the main attack.

When you hear "Playboy"
and nudity and a little girl,

they assume
that you’re a bad mother

and that you’re a slut.

They removed my daughter...

from my house.

[voice breaking]
Yeah, it was really tough.

And I demanded a meeting,

and I said, you know, "I want to
know, like, what are you doing?

Like, why are you coming
after me?

What could I have done?

I want to see
what you have on me.

I want to see this file
that is tearing a family apart."

And they opened it up,

and it was all...

"Playboy" pictures.

I had to spend the next year
fighting to keep my daughter.

I had to hire two attorneys.
I had to take drug tests.

I had to take
hair follicle tests.

I-I-I couldn’t even tell you
how hard that time was,

and it broke me, you know?

It--It--It broke me.

I had to climb out
of many of dark times.

But the vindication came
when the judge stood up

and said, "This woman
has done nothing wrong.

You guys have come after her.
She has done nothing.

She has done everything and more
that you have asked.

Today, this is--ends."

Once the fight was over,

I moved and I left the state,
and I never went back.

I never wanted my daughter

to endure the judgment
that I had to endure.

And I never wanted
to raise another child

in that town, in that mindset,
in that environment.

Y-Yes, does she know?
Yeah. Yeah. She does.

Does she resent me some?
Yeah, she does.

I mean, you know, even though
everything we’ve talked about,

you know, I could not help that
people did what they did,

but...she resents it, me.

Mm-hmm.

[chuckles] Yeah. It sucks.

It’s the textbook
of a blessing and a curse.

People are, you know, it--

People are--People are terrible.

[cries]

It’s not... [chuckles]

It’s like, just I’m sorry.

[sniffles]

Why do we judge?

Why don’t
we just tell every woman,

like, "you’re beautiful"
and be happy for them

and genuinely happy,

and if you’re not, just--
just go your own way?

I don’t know,

and I think Playboy definitely
brings out that question.

As soon as someone finds out
that I have been in "Playboy,"

there’s an immediate judgment
there.

People are uncomfortable
with nudity, you know,

and it’s--it’s--that’s why

they’re uncomfortable
with "Playboy."

They think because
I showed my body,

that means I act a certain way.

You know? I showed my body.

But meanwhile,
I’m in college studying

to be a veterinarian, a senior.

You know, I--now I have
children. I am a wife.

Yes, I showed my body, too,
at one point, but there--it’s--

the two--it’s not related.

You know, you posed
for "Playboy," showed your body,

but then there’s also a whole
nother human being behind that.

JILL: Once I posed for "Playboy"
and I was on the show,

I was no longer Jill Scott.

I was now Jill that posed naked.

It’s so wrong.

Should we really be able
to offer

this much of an opinion
on someone else’s life?

Like, this is an inside job.
Like, at a certain point,

we need to start
taking a look at what’s in here.

Like, maybe we should learn
to criticize ourselves

a little more
and less with someone else.

LAUREN: I mean, I credit Hef
and Playboy absolutely

for changing my image of myself
for the better.

I mean, ’cause it has stayed
with me ever since then.

WOMAN: So, like, are you
missing, like, school and work

and all that stuff right now?

Oh, yeah, I’m a senior
and I’m in veterinary medicine,

and I’m missing two weeks
of school,

which was really hard.

My organic chemistry professor-

he told me
he was gonna fail me. I said...

-Shut up.
-..."All right, bye."

Yes, and he did fail me.

Because I failed that class,
I did not go back to school.

I just kind of saw myself,

my life going
in a different direction

than what it was.

My dream was to--I wanted--
I loved animals.

I wanted to take care
of animals, help animals.

And so, my parents
and my family actually

helped me realize
that being in the public eye,

I could help animals even more.

When I became a Playmate,
PETA asked what I could do,

and so I used to
go to Capitol Hill

in a lettuce bikini
and pass out

veggie dogs
to all the congresspeople.

It was amazing.

I worked with Playboy
until I was--

my last job, I was pregnant
with my first son,

so, um, until 2012.

I got married, and, um,
I stopped working for Playboy

and just, uh, had children.

I have a 10-year-old son
and a 6-year-old son,

and I take care of them
every day.

After I decided
to leave the show,

when I got home, I felt sad.

There’s a part of me
that wished

that I would have stayed

and that I could have overcome
that anxiety.

So, I wrote Hef a letter

letting him know
that I was regretful,

and he later asked me if
I would test to be a Playmate.

And I got to a point
where I felt proud

to have the opportunity
to be a "Playboy" Playmate.

I was April 2003 centerfold

and Playmate of the Year 2004.

Posing nude is liberating.

I did it then,
and I would do it now.

It is empowering.
You’re making a choice for you,

and...I felt good about it.

I did Playboy for a reason.

It was a platform.

I utilized it to get every job
that I could,

and that’s why I feel like it’s
easy for people to look back

and rake everyone
over the coals.

Uh, my experience was different.

I met my husband at the time
through Playboy,

which was another great gift.

And most important, I had four
amazing, beautiful children.

Playboy was not my dream,

but falling into it
so gracefully

has turned it into...
my life is a dream.

I really love where I’ve landed,

and I don’t think
I would have met my husband

or the friends that I’ve made.

I have been
to so many countries.

I don’t think that that would
have ever happened

if I had just stayed
in Las Vegas

and not been discovered.

I think this world
could have potentially

chewed me up and spit me out

if I didn’t get tougher skin
and I didn’t get thrown

in a couple different situations

that made me
a little more well-rounded.

And I-I love who I am today.

So, today I am married.

I’ve been married for 13 years.
I had another child.

He’s 12.

Oh, my gosh, so happy.

After all these years and all
these lessons, I’m really happy.

I am at a place in life
where I know me.

I love me, and I-I love life.

I’m not gonna shrink. I’m gonna
do the opposite, you know?

Honestly,
I found my power in Playboy.

You know, I found, like,
my power

the way I wanted to be seen.

I remember some of the things
from the boardroom

and some of the body comments,

and today
that would not be accepted.

Not only do I not think the show
would be able to be made today,

I think they would cancel
everyone that was part of it.

DE OLVEIRA: There’s a reason why

"Playboy" Magazine
is now extinct,

And what is the next iteration?

I don’t think
anybody really knows,

um, but the business
of exploitation

is not going away.

Um, it’s just done
in a different form.

Do you believe
there was any time

that you might have
exploited women?

Never. Never, and I think you--
you could talk to the women

who have appeared
in the magazine,

and I think you would hear
rather clearly that’s the case.

You know, they say,
"Oh, you’re being exploited."

I’m like,
I’m not being exploited

if Hugh Hefner thinks
I’m attractive enough

to put me in his magazine,
and I get paid. It’s a job.

That’s something that I never
understood of how people judge.

We’re choosing to do it.
We wanna do it.

You know, we find it beautiful.
We find it sexy.

We find it attractive.

Why is that exploitation?

[scoffs] I don’t know, right?

I posed nude
and felt comfortable with it,

but people do.
They lose their mind.

It is wild.

There’s nothing wrong
with following a dream.

There’s nothing wrong
with being naked.

I just think it’s a way
to shame women, you know?

But that’s their problem,
not mine.