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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:59,258 --> 00:01:01,626 Carrie! Hm? 2 00:01:01,627 --> 00:01:03,294 Oh, crap. 3 00:01:41,517 --> 00:01:43,017 Carrie? Yeah? 4 00:01:43,018 --> 00:01:45,220 Take a look at this. 5 00:01:45,221 --> 00:01:46,688 What does this tell you? 6 00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:47,822 I don't know. 7 00:01:47,823 --> 00:01:50,425 Those Queer Eye guys got ahold of ya? 8 00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:58,249 No, I had to borrow your dad's socks 9 00:01:58,250 --> 00:01:59,250 'cause I'm out of socks. 10 00:01:59,251 --> 00:02:00,318 My socks are not clean, 11 00:02:00,319 --> 00:02:01,953 and I don't have any clean underwear. 12 00:02:01,954 --> 00:02:04,406 Okay, it's like a mosh pit down there. 13 00:02:04,407 --> 00:02:08,160 All right, so borrow a pair from my dad. 14 00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:09,511 I tried. I couldn't figure out 15 00:02:09,512 --> 00:02:11,880 all the snaps and pulleys. 16 00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,848 I'm sorry that I'm behind on the laundry 17 00:02:13,849 --> 00:02:16,017 because I had to cook dinner, clean up afterwards, 18 00:02:16,018 --> 00:02:17,419 and now I'm paying all our bills. 19 00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:19,554 I told you I'd help you with that. You never let me. 20 00:02:19,555 --> 00:02:22,224 That's because the last time I let you pay the electric bill, 21 00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:24,392 we spent three days huddled together in the dark 22 00:02:24,393 --> 00:02:27,012 with blankets and candles. 23 00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:28,863 And shadow puppets. 24 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,856 I need your paycheck, please. 25 00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:39,223 I got it. 26 00:02:40,526 --> 00:02:41,893 Thank you. 27 00:02:41,894 --> 00:02:44,029 What's this scribbled on the back? 28 00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:46,347 Oh, I was playing around with an idea 29 00:02:46,348 --> 00:02:48,783 for a new Jets logo. 30 00:02:48,784 --> 00:02:51,036 Are they lookin' for one? 31 00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:51,936 No. 32 00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:55,390 Oh, honey, look at this. 33 00:02:55,391 --> 00:02:56,658 With my raise last month, 34 00:02:56,659 --> 00:02:59,044 I actually make more than you do now. 35 00:02:59,045 --> 00:02:59,844 What? 36 00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:00,795 Yeah, look. 37 00:03:00,796 --> 00:03:02,847 No, you don't. I do, look. 38 00:03:02,848 --> 00:03:05,082 Oh, that's 'cause I got all these deductions. 39 00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:08,353 Look, I got all this FICA. That's what's bringin' me down. 40 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:10,655 No, they took FICA. from me too. 41 00:03:10,656 --> 00:03:12,724 Look, my check can beat up your check. 44 00:03:16,662 --> 00:03:18,128 Oh, come on, I'm teasing you. 45 00:03:18,129 --> 00:03:21,165 We should be proud of ourselves. We're doing really well. 46 00:03:21,166 --> 00:03:22,033 We are? Yes. 47 00:03:22,034 --> 00:03:24,201 And according to my calculations, 48 00:03:24,202 --> 00:03:26,955 we actually have some disposable income. 49 00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:30,242 Really? What do you wanna dispose it on? 50 00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:33,027 Um, well, we can start an IRA, you know? 51 00:03:33,028 --> 00:03:35,997 Start saving for our retirement. 52 00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:38,516 Mm-hm, mm-hm. 53 00:03:40,419 --> 00:03:43,338 What else ya got? 54 00:03:43,339 --> 00:03:45,623 Okay, well, we do need to upgrade 55 00:03:45,624 --> 00:03:47,509 our heating system. 56 00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:50,378 That is true. We do need to upgrade the heat- 57 00:03:50,379 --> 00:03:52,647 But even more than the heating system, 58 00:03:52,648 --> 00:03:55,317 haven't we been needing a speedboat? 59 00:03:56,485 --> 00:03:58,720 Okay, let's put a pin in the speedboat. 60 00:03:58,721 --> 00:04:00,137 Now, I'm all for splurging, 61 00:04:00,138 --> 00:04:02,774 but it's gotta be something we both could enjoy. 62 00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:03,708 Okay. 63 00:04:03,709 --> 00:04:05,009 How 'bout a speedboat 64 00:04:05,010 --> 00:04:06,777 and a male dancer? 65 00:04:15,337 --> 00:04:16,470 Hey, Arthur. 66 00:04:16,471 --> 00:04:17,605 Ah, Spence, my boy. 67 00:04:17,606 --> 00:04:20,875 Here for another lesson in gin rummy? 68 00:04:20,876 --> 00:04:22,293 A- A lesson? 69 00:04:22,294 --> 00:04:26,414 As of yesterday, you owe me $82,000. 70 00:04:27,148 --> 00:04:29,233 Ah, yes. 71 00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:31,836 Double or nothing is a cruel mistress. 72 00:04:33,204 --> 00:04:35,272 Look, I'll tell you what. 73 00:04:35,273 --> 00:04:38,275 I'll forget the whole gin debt if you'll do something for me 74 00:04:38,276 --> 00:04:40,210 that'll make me very, very happy. 75 00:04:41,613 --> 00:04:44,866 I'm not sure I'm comfortable where this is headed. 76 00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:45,850 Listen. 77 00:04:45,851 --> 00:04:48,386 It's about my mom. What about her? 78 00:04:48,387 --> 00:04:49,654 She's out in the car. I'm- 79 00:04:49,655 --> 00:04:52,757 I'm taking her to the podiatrist right now. 80 00:04:52,758 --> 00:04:54,209 The thing is, 81 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,294 she's been feeling really down lately, you know. 82 00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:57,928 Sh-she feels like nobody wants her 83 00:04:57,929 --> 00:05:00,131 or needs her for anything anymore. 84 00:05:00,132 --> 00:05:02,416 Well, if your mother's one thing, she's astute. 85 00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:03,952 Cou- Just- 86 00:05:06,338 --> 00:05:09,673 Couldn't you just- Couldn't you just go out 87 00:05:09,674 --> 00:05:12,010 and ask her to a movie or something? 88 00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:13,844 How can I put this nicely? 89 00:05:13,845 --> 00:05:16,447 Your mother's not my cup of tea 90 00:05:16,448 --> 00:05:18,849 and that I find her hideous and annoying. 91 00:05:21,403 --> 00:05:24,906 Thanks for putting it nicely. 92 00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:27,776 Spencer, I don't want to be late for Dr. Kaplan. 93 00:05:27,777 --> 00:05:31,245 This hammer toe won't correct itself. 94 00:05:31,246 --> 00:05:32,781 Hello, Arthur. 95 00:05:32,782 --> 00:05:34,833 Veronica. I'd love to stay and chat, 96 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:38,236 but I'm counseling runaways in the basement. 97 00:05:58,774 --> 00:06:00,491 Who are you? 98 00:06:02,611 --> 00:06:05,313 Why are you stealing my underwear? 99 00:06:05,314 --> 00:06:06,564 ¿Qué? 100 00:06:06,565 --> 00:06:08,015 Oh. Hey, honey. 101 00:06:08,016 --> 00:06:10,952 Um, Inez, this is my esposo, Doug. 102 00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,871 Ah, mucho gusto. ¿Cómo está? 103 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,872 Yeah. Um, uh... 104 00:06:16,325 --> 00:06:18,243 Me voy a lavar la ropa. 105 00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:21,012 Oh, lavar. Yes. Laundry. Sí, sí, sí, sí. 106 00:06:22,898 --> 00:06:25,300 Okay, what-? What's going on? Who's that lady? 107 00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:26,918 She's our maid! 108 00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:28,169 What? 109 00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,537 Yes. After our talk last night, 110 00:06:29,538 --> 00:06:30,938 I was downstairs doing laundry, 111 00:06:30,939 --> 00:06:33,641 trying to Shout out anchovy paste from your T-shirt, 112 00:06:33,642 --> 00:06:35,776 and I thought, what would be better 113 00:06:35,777 --> 00:06:37,979 than having some help around here? 114 00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,347 A speedboat. 115 00:06:39,348 --> 00:06:41,081 No. 116 00:06:41,082 --> 00:06:43,451 We- We were supposed to get something we both enjoyed. 117 00:06:43,452 --> 00:06:45,770 Doug, the maid's for you too. 118 00:06:45,771 --> 00:06:47,088 Really! 119 00:06:47,089 --> 00:06:49,090 Can I fish off her bow? 120 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,911 No, but she can do your laundry, your dishes, 121 00:06:53,912 --> 00:06:55,947 and clean up after your mess. 122 00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:58,199 Hm. I already had someone doing that. You! 123 00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,450 Doug, come on. 124 00:06:59,451 --> 00:07:01,102 This is crazy, Car- This is a big thing, 125 00:07:01,103 --> 00:07:02,520 and you don't even ask me? 126 00:07:02,521 --> 00:07:04,622 No- It's just that I fell in love with her, honey, 127 00:07:04,623 --> 00:07:06,658 and I told her it's only a one-week trial 128 00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:09,210 upon approval of my husband. 129 00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:12,013 A- and she knows that? D- d-does she even speak English? 130 00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:15,266 A little. But look, I remember Spanish from high school, 131 00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:17,886 and I bought you an English-Spanish dictionary. 132 00:07:17,887 --> 00:07:20,387 Oh, great. N- now I gotta read. Okay. 133 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:23,974 Doug, will you just give her a chance? 134 00:07:23,975 --> 00:07:26,060 You will fall in love with her. Please. 135 00:07:26,061 --> 00:07:27,946 I don't know. I just... 136 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:31,032 Did I mention that Inez is an incredible cook? 137 00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:32,867 She makes a Mexican dessert 138 00:07:32,868 --> 00:07:35,203 that is basically deep-fried ice cream. 139 00:07:37,422 --> 00:07:38,889 And here's another bonus. 140 00:07:38,890 --> 00:07:40,641 When I get home from work, I won't be busy 141 00:07:40,642 --> 00:07:42,243 doin' all the stuff around the house. 142 00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:45,729 I will have more time for pleasin' my man. 143 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:50,367 Now, she really fries it? 144 00:08:01,329 --> 00:08:02,514 Hey. 145 00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:04,399 Buenos días. 146 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,416 Sí. 147 00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:09,036 Sí, señorita. 148 00:08:13,926 --> 00:08:15,994 You, eh, finish... 149 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,779 ¿con sus platos? 150 00:08:17,780 --> 00:08:19,213 Platos, uh... 151 00:08:19,214 --> 00:08:20,998 Eh, platos. Platos. 152 00:08:20,999 --> 00:08:22,816 Oh, yeah, Yes, yes. Sí. Sí. Sí. 153 00:08:22,817 --> 00:08:24,702 ¿Y la leche? Sí. Sí. 154 00:08:24,703 --> 00:08:26,538 No. No. No. 155 00:08:27,506 --> 00:08:29,107 Leche. Uh... 156 00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:30,208 Um... 157 00:08:32,844 --> 00:08:34,245 I need leche. 158 00:08:48,944 --> 00:08:50,562 ...la leche... 159 00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:51,813 No. No. 160 00:08:51,814 --> 00:08:54,915 Oh, you, eh, wanted la leche para su cereal. 161 00:08:54,916 --> 00:08:57,835 Yes, I wanted- I didn't understand you before. 162 00:08:57,836 --> 00:09:01,289 Uh, I was done with the platos but not with the leche. 163 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:04,542 It's nobody's fault. It's just a little communication problem. 164 00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:06,310 You know what I'm sayin'? Ahem. 165 00:09:08,079 --> 00:09:10,131 You take the leche. I'm gonna hit a diner. 166 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:11,332 Yeah. 167 00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:22,443 Buenas tardes. 168 00:09:22,444 --> 00:09:23,511 Hey. 169 00:09:29,617 --> 00:09:31,034 Leche. 170 00:09:45,534 --> 00:09:47,318 Inez? Yes? 171 00:09:47,319 --> 00:09:49,954 I- I'm looking for the Oreos. 172 00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:51,789 Mm... 173 00:09:51,790 --> 00:09:53,307 Los Oreos? 174 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,660 Oreos? You- The cookie? 175 00:09:56,661 --> 00:09:58,262 Mmm. 176 00:09:58,930 --> 00:10:00,147 No. 177 00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:06,854 Hey, honey. 178 00:10:06,855 --> 00:10:07,955 We got a problem. Oh. 179 00:10:07,956 --> 00:10:09,774 Inez moved the Oreos, and they're gone- 180 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:12,110 They're just gone. 181 00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,444 Okay, honey, relax. 182 00:10:13,445 --> 00:10:15,730 We'll figure this out, okay? 183 00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:16,564 Inez? 184 00:10:16,565 --> 00:10:18,232 Yes? Yeah, hi. 185 00:10:18,233 --> 00:10:21,936 Um, Doug is, uh, buscando, uh, galletas. 186 00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:24,322 Oreos. 187 00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:26,490 ¡Oh, las galletas! 188 00:10:27,442 --> 00:10:29,810 Los Oreos. 189 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,749 Oh, look, honey. She cleaned out the cookie jar 190 00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:37,502 and put cookies in there. 191 00:10:37,503 --> 00:10:40,722 Okay, but now where are my Arby's coupons? 192 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,156 Gracias, Inez. 193 00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,511 ...mucho sus galletas... 194 00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:48,362 Oh, yeah. Sí. Mucho galletas. 195 00:10:49,898 --> 00:10:52,299 Mucho pudding y bacon. 196 00:10:55,770 --> 00:10:56,988 Oh, yeah. Sí. 197 00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:58,005 Sí. 198 00:11:09,618 --> 00:11:11,035 Look, honey, 199 00:11:11,036 --> 00:11:13,705 Inez dusted under the lamp. 200 00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:16,774 You know my motto, if I don't see it, I ain't cleaning it. 201 00:11:16,775 --> 00:11:20,878 And look, she put fresh flowers by our bed. 202 00:11:20,879 --> 00:11:23,965 Oh, that is so nice. I'm gonna miss her. 203 00:11:23,966 --> 00:11:25,800 What? 204 00:11:25,801 --> 00:11:28,736 Well, you said it was a one-week trial upon approval of your husband, 205 00:11:28,737 --> 00:11:30,722 And I gotta tell ya, I don't approve. 206 00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:33,024 What do you mean? Inez is doing great. 207 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,142 I disagree. 208 00:11:34,143 --> 00:11:35,777 Why? What's wrong with her? 209 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,711 Well, for one thing, she moves my snacks around, 210 00:11:37,712 --> 00:11:39,447 and I gotta look all over the place. 211 00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:41,348 Yeah. Well, God forbid you burn a few calories 212 00:11:41,349 --> 00:11:43,618 before you inhale a sheet cake. 213 00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:46,821 See? See, I don't like how you guys are together. 214 00:11:46,822 --> 00:11:48,539 What are you talking about? 215 00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:50,925 Yeah, you two laughing and plotting against me 216 00:11:50,926 --> 00:11:54,212 in your secret little language. 217 00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,613 It's called Spanish, Doug, 218 00:11:55,614 --> 00:11:58,049 and about half the world speaks it. 219 00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,583 Not this half. 220 00:11:59,584 --> 00:12:02,102 Well, you seem to speak it pretty well when you're ordering 221 00:12:02,103 --> 00:12:04,504 from the Taco Bell dollar value menu. 222 00:12:04,505 --> 00:12:06,523 Yeah, yeah, you got me. Ya got me! 223 00:12:06,524 --> 00:12:09,393 'Cause I know how to say "burrito" and "more. " 224 00:12:09,394 --> 00:12:11,495 Doug, come on. You're being ridiculous. 225 00:12:11,496 --> 00:12:13,363 Car- You did this without even asking me. 226 00:12:13,364 --> 00:12:15,299 A- a-and what about all this fried ice cream 227 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,400 I'm supposed to see, huh? 228 00:12:16,401 --> 00:12:18,352 Haven't seen it! 229 00:12:18,353 --> 00:12:20,688 All right. Well, you know what? This is crazy. 230 00:12:20,689 --> 00:12:22,589 Inez is doing a great job, and she's staying. 231 00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:24,591 Well, if she's staying, she's working for free 232 00:12:24,592 --> 00:12:26,593 'cause I ain't paying her. Then I'll pay her. 233 00:12:26,594 --> 00:12:28,696 I pay for most of her anyway. Hm? 234 00:12:28,697 --> 00:12:30,081 What? 235 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:31,715 Oh. So that's what this is about. 236 00:12:31,716 --> 00:12:33,117 You think you're the boss 237 00:12:33,118 --> 00:12:35,503 'cause you're making a few more dollars than I am. 238 00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:36,687 More than a few. 239 00:12:36,688 --> 00:12:38,455 Oh! Ha, ha-ha, ha-ha. 240 00:12:38,456 --> 00:12:40,057 The gloves are off. 241 00:12:40,058 --> 00:12:41,192 Let me tell ya something. 242 00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:42,226 If you want a war 243 00:12:42,227 --> 00:12:44,028 over who calls the shots in this marriage, 244 00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:45,713 you got one, sister. 245 00:12:45,714 --> 00:12:48,516 Doug, I don't want a war. 246 00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,667 Well, you got one, sister. 247 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,759 Oh, careful. I just put down some Glo-Coat. 248 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,028 Uh, Veronica. What's going on? 249 00:13:01,029 --> 00:13:02,363 Oh. 250 00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:04,615 Doug hired me. Didn't he tell ya? 251 00:13:04,616 --> 00:13:07,318 No. No, he did not. 252 00:13:07,319 --> 00:13:09,487 Well, maybe he wanted it to be a surprise. 253 00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:12,156 Yeah, I'm sure he did. Yeah. 254 00:13:12,157 --> 00:13:13,256 Well, God bless him. 255 00:13:13,257 --> 00:13:16,294 Just feels so good to be working again. 256 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:17,078 Hey, Car. 257 00:13:17,079 --> 00:13:20,047 You, uh, met our new maid Veronica. 258 00:13:20,048 --> 00:13:21,248 Yes. 259 00:13:21,249 --> 00:13:23,000 I've met Spence's mother. 260 00:13:23,001 --> 00:13:25,135 I hope it's not a problem, but... 261 00:13:25,136 --> 00:13:27,004 she speaks English. 262 00:13:28,757 --> 00:13:32,143 Oh, I'd better dump this trash before it gets too full. 263 00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:34,327 Oh, good eye, good eye. She's on top of things. 264 00:13:34,328 --> 00:13:36,347 You are a treasure. 265 00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:37,614 Oh, stop! 266 00:13:40,602 --> 00:13:44,522 All right, just what in the hell do you think you're doing? 267 00:13:44,523 --> 00:13:46,891 Just giving a senior citizen a sense of purpose. 268 00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:48,325 Feels good. 269 00:13:51,246 --> 00:13:53,981 Doug, this is ridiculous. We can't have two maids. 270 00:13:53,982 --> 00:13:55,415 I agree. Get rid of yours. 271 00:13:55,416 --> 00:13:56,483 No! 272 00:13:56,484 --> 00:13:58,035 Okay, then, we got two maids. 273 00:13:58,036 --> 00:14:00,254 Hey, you know what? We can race 'em. 274 00:14:00,255 --> 00:14:01,822 Okay, you do understand 275 00:14:01,823 --> 00:14:04,508 that we can't afford to pay two maids? 276 00:14:04,509 --> 00:14:05,626 I don't care. 277 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:06,427 Okay, you know what? 278 00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:08,713 We can go bankrupt for all I care. 279 00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:10,298 I would love that. 280 00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:12,884 Good. I hope we end up living in our car. 281 00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:15,920 Great. Hope your father likes living on the roof. 282 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:29,850 ¿Más cáfe? 283 00:14:29,851 --> 00:14:31,952 Oh, yes. Gracias, Inez. 284 00:14:31,953 --> 00:14:35,689 And by the way, Inez, this chile relleno... 285 00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:37,742 is, uh, muy bueno. 286 00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:39,343 Gracias. Mm-hm. 287 00:14:39,344 --> 00:14:41,345 It's just so cheesy. 288 00:14:46,551 --> 00:14:48,169 Veronica! 289 00:14:48,170 --> 00:14:49,520 Yeah? Do you need something? 290 00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:51,422 No, no, no. I just wanted to let you know 291 00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:54,175 that you've outdone yourself with tonight's dinner. 292 00:14:54,176 --> 00:14:54,976 Oh. 293 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,210 It's just fish sticks. 294 00:14:57,161 --> 00:15:00,514 Yeah, but they were just so fishy. 295 00:15:03,001 --> 00:15:05,886 Uh, Doug, could you pass the salt, please? 296 00:15:06,888 --> 00:15:08,155 Sure. 297 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,495 Mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm. 298 00:15:16,198 --> 00:15:17,998 Thank you. 299 00:15:21,336 --> 00:15:23,353 Well, listen, let me clean up 300 00:15:23,354 --> 00:15:25,089 some of these dirty dishes here- 301 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,158 Oh! Oh, I'm sorry. 302 00:15:27,159 --> 00:15:28,692 I'll- I'll clean that right up. 303 00:15:28,693 --> 00:15:31,378 Uh-uh. Th-th-that's okay. That's Mrs. Heffernan's drink. 304 00:15:31,379 --> 00:15:32,713 Inez will clean that up. 305 00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:35,132 No, Inez. Veronica spilled it. 306 00:15:35,133 --> 00:15:37,468 I'm sure she wants to clean it. 307 00:15:37,469 --> 00:15:39,036 No, she doesn't. 308 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,273 Doug, come on- Shh. 309 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,411 This is between the maids now. 310 00:15:51,199 --> 00:15:53,651 All right, could we just end this now please? 311 00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:55,202 Fine. You know what, Veronica? 312 00:15:55,203 --> 00:15:58,722 I'll be having my Oreos in the kitchen tonight. 313 00:16:07,315 --> 00:16:08,615 Veronica. 314 00:16:08,616 --> 00:16:10,167 Oh, hey, Arthur. 315 00:16:10,168 --> 00:16:12,169 So now you're stalking me. 316 00:16:13,705 --> 00:16:14,905 I'd call the authorities 317 00:16:14,906 --> 00:16:16,640 if I didn't have an outstanding warrant 318 00:16:16,641 --> 00:16:17,841 in New Hampshire. 319 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,127 Relax. 320 00:16:20,128 --> 00:16:22,162 Doug hired me to help around the house. 321 00:16:22,163 --> 00:16:24,648 See? I'm washing out his work clothes. 322 00:16:24,649 --> 00:16:25,782 Oh. 323 00:16:25,783 --> 00:16:28,402 So am I to understand you're the maid? 324 00:16:28,403 --> 00:16:29,353 Yeah. 325 00:16:29,354 --> 00:16:30,688 Oh. 326 00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:33,090 Then as master of the house, 327 00:16:33,091 --> 00:16:35,259 I'll leave you to your duties. 328 00:16:44,535 --> 00:16:46,103 Hm. 329 00:16:46,104 --> 00:16:48,072 What is it? 330 00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:52,076 It's just this sudden change in circumstances. 331 00:16:53,144 --> 00:16:55,545 I must admit... 332 00:16:55,546 --> 00:16:59,633 I'm finding it rather titillating. 333 00:16:59,634 --> 00:17:00,885 You do? 334 00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:04,154 Perhaps it's the taboo of class distinction 335 00:17:04,155 --> 00:17:08,592 or the allure or your stern yet body-hugging uniform. 336 00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:14,365 But I'm seeing you in a whole new light. 337 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:17,234 Look, Arthur, I was hired to work here. 338 00:17:17,235 --> 00:17:20,154 Now, any personal relationship between us 339 00:17:20,155 --> 00:17:23,240 would be totally inappropriate. 340 00:17:23,241 --> 00:17:26,910 You know just what to say to get me going. 341 00:17:41,109 --> 00:17:42,542 Look at this. 342 00:17:44,429 --> 00:17:46,330 Apparently, someone thought doing laundry 343 00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:50,301 wasn't as important as watching Sábado Gigante. 344 00:17:56,741 --> 00:17:59,025 You know what they say. When life gives you lemons... 345 00:17:59,026 --> 00:18:01,461 you get lemon maid. 346 00:18:04,899 --> 00:18:06,666 Inez, uh, ¿Qué? 347 00:18:06,667 --> 00:18:09,420 what's going on with the, uh, lavaro here? 348 00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,705 No puedo ir abajo. 349 00:18:11,706 --> 00:18:13,924 Why can't you go downstairs? ¿Porqué? 350 00:18:13,925 --> 00:18:18,262 Porque Veronica siempre downstairs haciendo 351 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:21,365 boom-boom con Señor Grandpa. 352 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,173 Do you know what's going on? 353 00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:31,358 Instead of doing her work, 354 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:35,529 Veronica is downstairs boom-booming my dad! 355 00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:37,281 What? 356 00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:40,183 Yeah! That's why Inez can't do the laundry. 357 00:18:40,184 --> 00:18:42,703 Your maid is ruining my maid. 358 00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:44,054 You're just jealous 359 00:18:44,055 --> 00:18:47,391 'cause my maid's willing to go the extra mile. 360 00:18:50,661 --> 00:18:52,930 Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry I was downstairs so long. 361 00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:55,032 I had to catch up on my ironing. 362 00:18:59,237 --> 00:19:00,938 Okay, you know what? 363 00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:02,239 I will handle this 364 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,308 just like I handle everything else around here. 365 00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:07,010 So why don't you eat a ring-ding or a Ho Ho or a hoo-hoo- 366 00:19:07,011 --> 00:19:09,813 Whatever the hell it is you eat now, okay? 367 00:19:09,814 --> 00:19:12,415 Uh, Veronica, it's pretty obvious 368 00:19:12,416 --> 00:19:15,686 that we have a crazy thing going on here. 369 00:19:15,687 --> 00:19:17,237 But, uh, you've been doing a great job, 370 00:19:17,238 --> 00:19:18,939 but I'm gonna have to let you go. 371 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:20,741 Uh, excuse me. You do not have that authority. 372 00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:22,609 Yes, I do 'cause I'm the boss. You're fired. 373 00:19:22,610 --> 00:19:23,910 No, no. You stay right here. 374 00:19:23,911 --> 00:19:25,845 If anybody's getting the boot, it's her. 375 00:19:25,846 --> 00:19:28,114 Sorry, Inez. You're fired. 376 00:19:28,115 --> 00:19:29,033 ¿Qúe? 377 00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:31,034 Oh, God, what is the word here? 378 00:19:31,035 --> 00:19:33,170 The word. Uh... 379 00:19:33,171 --> 00:19:35,539 Sorry, Inez. You're confuego. 380 00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,610 Okay, idiot. You just told her she's on fire. 381 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,129 She knows what I mean. Yeah. 382 00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:43,547 Why are you still here? 383 00:19:43,548 --> 00:19:45,049 He told me to stay. 384 00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:48,018 And I am telling you to leave, or it is go time. 385 00:19:48,019 --> 00:19:49,220 Oh! 386 00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:50,921 Go time. Let's go. Yes, absolutely. 387 00:19:50,922 --> 00:19:52,789 Esto es imposible. 388 00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:55,976 No, no - Yeah, right. Absolutely. 389 00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:59,296 Sorry. Don't let the, uh, puerta hit you in the, uh... 390 00:19:59,297 --> 00:20:00,898 You know! 391 00:20:07,155 --> 00:20:09,356 Never would've happened if we got a speedboat. 392 00:20:17,431 --> 00:20:18,431 Veronica. 393 00:20:18,432 --> 00:20:19,550 Yes? 394 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:22,419 Do you have a moment to pop on down to my room? 395 00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:23,671 Why? 396 00:20:23,672 --> 00:20:25,956 There's something wrong with my bed. 397 00:20:25,957 --> 00:20:28,008 You're not in it. 398 00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:29,993 We have all the time in the world now. 399 00:20:29,994 --> 00:20:32,179 Carrie fired me. 400 00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:34,348 So you're no longer the maid? 401 00:20:34,349 --> 00:20:35,432 No. 402 00:20:35,433 --> 00:20:39,052 But after all we've shared, 403 00:20:39,053 --> 00:20:41,655 does that really matter now? 404 00:20:42,607 --> 00:20:44,274 I'll call you. 28047

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