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1
00:00:09,575 --> 00:00:10,659
Son of a-
2
00:00:58,540 --> 00:00:59,741
Little help.
3
00:01:37,462 --> 00:01:39,230
Hey, sticky buns.
4
00:01:39,231 --> 00:01:42,066
Aw, it's cute when you
give me little nicknames.
5
00:01:44,386 --> 00:01:45,537
Hm?
6
00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:47,071
Nothing.
7
00:01:47,072 --> 00:01:48,272
Aren't my parents
here yet?
8
00:01:48,273 --> 00:01:49,407
No.
9
00:01:49,408 --> 00:01:51,192
Uh, they called
from the airport, though.
10
00:01:51,193 --> 00:01:54,695
Your father's holding out
for a cheaper taxi.
11
00:01:54,696 --> 00:01:57,248
I would've liked to see them
before my union meeting tonight.
12
00:01:57,249 --> 00:02:00,117
Union meeting? Since when
do you go to union meetings?
13
00:02:00,118 --> 00:02:02,169
Since they started
serving beer.
14
00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:04,071
And we might be going on strike
or something.
15
00:02:04,072 --> 00:02:05,740
I don't know.
What's the big deal?
16
00:02:05,741 --> 00:02:07,091
Well, Doug, I-
I have some work to do.
17
00:02:07,092 --> 00:02:08,776
I need you to entertain
your parents.
18
00:02:08,777 --> 00:02:09,911
And I was kind of
hoping to
19
00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:12,113
try out my new
bubble bath as well.
20
00:02:12,114 --> 00:02:14,015
"Lavender surrender. "
21
00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,501
Make a good
stripper name.
22
00:02:16,502 --> 00:02:17,852
All right, Doug.
23
00:02:17,853 --> 00:02:20,305
I'm just saying. I wouldn't
have to go to any union meetings
24
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,707
if you could work a couple
nights as Lavender Surrender.
25
00:02:22,708 --> 00:02:24,309
All right, come on.
I really have stuff
26
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,627
I gotta do tonight.
27
00:02:25,628 --> 00:02:27,078
Relax, all right,
I got it covered.
28
00:02:27,079 --> 00:02:28,679
Tonight, I got
two theater tickets
29
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:29,814
for my parents.
30
00:02:29,815 --> 00:02:31,383
So once they're out
of the house,
31
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,618
you can take a bath,
invite your boyfriend over-
32
00:02:33,619 --> 00:02:35,320
The house is yours.
33
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,055
I just hope they're
34
00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:38,756
getting along
a little better.
35
00:02:38,757 --> 00:02:39,824
What?
36
00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:41,442
You remember last month
in Florida,
37
00:02:41,443 --> 00:02:43,678
they were going at
each other all the time.
38
00:02:43,679 --> 00:02:45,346
No, they weren't.
39
00:02:45,347 --> 00:02:46,281
Doug, come on.
40
00:02:46,282 --> 00:02:48,082
Your father called
your mother an idiot
41
00:02:48,083 --> 00:02:51,519
because she bought him
potato chips in a can.
44
00:02:55,891 --> 00:02:57,491
because you bought me
mini donuts
45
00:02:57,492 --> 00:03:00,094
instead of
the regular size?
46
00:03:00,095 --> 00:03:02,630
Does that mean
I don't love you?
47
00:03:02,631 --> 00:03:05,333
Well, you did say
some pretty hurtful things.
48
00:03:05,334 --> 00:03:08,336
Well, I don't like
mini donuts.
49
00:03:10,406 --> 00:03:12,490
There they are.
Okay.
50
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:17,479
Hey!
51
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:19,313
Hello, honey!
52
00:03:19,314 --> 00:03:20,548
How are you?
Good to see ya.
53
00:03:20,549 --> 00:03:22,283
Hi, Dougie.
Hey, Dougie, quick.
54
00:03:22,284 --> 00:03:24,702
Go grab the bags
before the cabby gets 'em.
55
00:03:24,703 --> 00:03:26,137
This guy is fishing
for a tip.
56
00:03:27,506 --> 00:03:28,289
So how was
your flight?
57
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:29,724
Oh, it was
really nice.
58
00:03:29,725 --> 00:03:32,543
Ah, you know, they recycle
the air on those planes,
59
00:03:32,544 --> 00:03:35,146
so it's mostly
exhaled carbon dioxide
60
00:03:35,147 --> 00:03:37,815
and flecks of
other people's skin.
61
00:03:37,816 --> 00:03:40,134
Did not know that. Hm.
62
00:03:40,135 --> 00:03:42,337
I brought you
the in-flight magazine.
63
00:03:42,338 --> 00:03:44,739
Oh, thank you.
There's an article in there
64
00:03:44,740 --> 00:03:46,474
on Arsenio Hall's
favorite steak house.
65
00:03:46,475 --> 00:03:47,875
Turns out-
66
00:03:47,876 --> 00:03:50,528
Bup-bup-bup-bup. I wanna
be surprised.
67
00:03:50,529 --> 00:03:52,330
Still fighting bags
with wheels, huh, dad?
68
00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:54,466
Hey, wheels break.
Then where are ya?
69
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:55,767
Right back to here.
70
00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:58,636
So, Joe, you all ready
for your big convention?
71
00:03:58,637 --> 00:04:00,422
Oh, yes, I am.
72
00:04:00,423 --> 00:04:03,058
Feast your eyes on
what's gonna bring home
73
00:04:03,059 --> 00:04:05,160
the golden caboose
74
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,328
at the 43rd annual
75
00:04:07,329 --> 00:04:09,997
Model Train Expo.
76
00:04:09,998 --> 00:04:11,782
Oh, that is pretty sweet.
77
00:04:11,783 --> 00:04:13,601
Hey, hey, hey.
You know the rules.
78
00:04:13,602 --> 00:04:15,603
Oh, come on, Joe.
Let him touch the train.
79
00:04:15,604 --> 00:04:17,972
It's not a train.
It's an engine.
80
00:04:17,973 --> 00:04:19,991
Oh, well, in that
case, who cares? I care!
81
00:04:19,992 --> 00:04:22,093
You know, for one week-
one week out of the year
82
00:04:22,094 --> 00:04:23,995
- could I have that
to enjoy myself?
83
00:04:23,996 --> 00:04:24,796
Fine.
84
00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:25,914
Good.
85
00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:31,819
Speaking of enjoying
yourselves...
86
00:04:33,255 --> 00:04:34,688
who's going to see
Robert Goulet
87
00:04:34,689 --> 00:04:36,391
in Camelot tonight?
88
00:04:36,392 --> 00:04:37,425
Really?
Oh?
89
00:04:37,426 --> 00:04:39,494
Oh. That's my favorite show.
90
00:04:39,495 --> 00:04:40,628
I know.
91
00:04:40,629 --> 00:04:42,730
Aw, Joe, look.
92
00:04:42,731 --> 00:04:45,233
Whoa!
Sixty-five bucks each.
93
00:04:46,768 --> 00:04:48,970
I wonder how much of this
goes to Goulet.
94
00:04:48,971 --> 00:04:51,338
All right, well, you guys
have a great time.
95
00:04:51,339 --> 00:04:52,957
I got a union thing
I gotta go to.
96
00:04:52,958 --> 00:04:54,326
Aw, thank you,
Dougie.
97
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:56,244
That was so generous
of you.
98
00:04:56,245 --> 00:04:57,595
Come on.
99
00:04:57,596 --> 00:04:58,529
You guys raised me.
100
00:04:58,530 --> 00:05:00,631
You paid for me to go
to college.
101
00:05:00,632 --> 00:05:02,600
Sorry that didn't work out.
102
00:05:12,461 --> 00:05:14,796
Ooh. Look at you.
103
00:05:14,797 --> 00:05:16,731
You look beautiful.
104
00:05:16,732 --> 00:05:17,482
Oh, thank you, Carrie.
105
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,934
I am so looking forward
to tonight.
106
00:05:19,935 --> 00:05:22,203
There's nothing more exciting
than a live show.
107
00:05:22,204 --> 00:05:23,404
Yeah.
108
00:05:23,405 --> 00:05:24,538
Last live show
Doug took me to,
109
00:05:24,539 --> 00:05:26,641
it was two guys fighting
in a cage.
110
00:05:28,343 --> 00:05:29,644
Oh, no.
111
00:05:29,645 --> 00:05:31,746
You're not wearing that
train hat to the theater.
112
00:05:31,747 --> 00:05:33,781
I can't go.
What?
113
00:05:33,782 --> 00:05:35,566
I got a call
from the convention center.
114
00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:37,535
They're assigning
table locations tonight,
115
00:05:37,536 --> 00:05:38,986
not in the morning.
So?
116
00:05:38,987 --> 00:05:40,955
So if I don't
get down there ASAP,
117
00:05:40,956 --> 00:05:44,959
I'll be way in the back
with all those monorail freaks.
118
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,828
But Dougie bought
those tickets.
119
00:05:46,829 --> 00:05:48,096
Hey.
120
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:50,548
The grand conductor
makes the assignments, not me.
121
00:05:50,549 --> 00:05:52,700
I'm sorry. I gotta go.
122
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:57,271
I'm sorry, Janet.
123
00:05:57,272 --> 00:05:57,972
Don't be.
124
00:05:57,973 --> 00:05:59,523
Who needs him?
125
00:05:59,524 --> 00:06:01,358
Hey, maybe you'll
come with me.
126
00:06:01,359 --> 00:06:02,660
We could do
a girls' night out?
127
00:06:02,661 --> 00:06:04,746
Ah, I wish I could,
but I have all this work.
128
00:06:04,747 --> 00:06:06,681
Oh, yeah, of course,
your work.
129
00:06:06,682 --> 00:06:08,850
Hey, you know what?
130
00:06:08,851 --> 00:06:11,853
There's no law against a woman
going to the theater by herself.
131
00:06:11,854 --> 00:06:13,621
I just, uh...
132
00:06:13,622 --> 00:06:15,789
I'll do it, and- And-
And it'll be better, you know,
133
00:06:15,790 --> 00:06:18,826
because I won't have to fight
with Joe for the armrest.
134
00:06:18,827 --> 00:06:20,061
Yeah.
There you go.
135
00:06:20,062 --> 00:06:22,263
So I'm just gonna
go get my bag.
136
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:25,983
Hey, Dad.
137
00:06:25,984 --> 00:06:27,719
You're home early.
138
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,053
Tough night
at the senior center.
139
00:06:29,054 --> 00:06:30,955
I had to flip the checkerboard
in a fit of rage
140
00:06:30,956 --> 00:06:32,390
earlier than usual.
141
00:06:34,025 --> 00:06:35,960
I take it
the duke and duchess
142
00:06:35,961 --> 00:06:37,579
of Fort Lauderdale
have arrived.
143
00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:39,046
Yes.
144
00:06:39,047 --> 00:06:41,332
Why do you have such a problem
with Doug's parents?
145
00:06:41,333 --> 00:06:43,218
I can't take their
constant bragging.
146
00:06:43,219 --> 00:06:45,887
"Oh, we saved
for our retirement. "
147
00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:47,088
How bourgeois.
148
00:06:51,493 --> 00:06:53,444
Goulet's in town?
149
00:06:53,445 --> 00:06:54,545
Yeah.
150
00:06:55,647 --> 00:06:57,782
Hey. Why don't you go
with Janet?
151
00:06:57,783 --> 00:06:58,850
Me?
152
00:06:58,851 --> 00:06:59,633
Yeah.
Joe can't go,
153
00:06:59,634 --> 00:07:01,218
and I have all this work
I have to do,
154
00:07:01,219 --> 00:07:02,820
but it would really help
everyone out
155
00:07:02,821 --> 00:07:03,821
if you would take her.
156
00:07:03,822 --> 00:07:04,889
What do you say?
157
00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:06,407
No posible, señorita.
158
00:07:06,408 --> 00:07:07,775
Dad.
159
00:07:07,776 --> 00:07:10,111
Come on. Please?
160
00:07:10,112 --> 00:07:12,914
How can I say no
to my little girl?
161
00:07:12,915 --> 00:07:14,916
Ten bucks,
plus expenses.
162
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,890
Subway fare, $3.
163
00:07:23,058 --> 00:07:25,626
Two knishes, $4.
164
00:07:26,896 --> 00:07:28,429
Janet, how much
was that program?
165
00:07:28,430 --> 00:07:29,563
Oh, these
are free.
166
00:07:29,564 --> 00:07:31,199
Uh-huh.
167
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,117
One commemorative program,
168
00:07:33,118 --> 00:07:35,820
$12.95.
169
00:07:37,322 --> 00:07:39,173
It was so nice of you
to come with me, Arthur.
170
00:07:39,174 --> 00:07:40,174
My pleasure.
171
00:07:40,175 --> 00:07:41,843
Carry the one...
172
00:07:44,012 --> 00:07:45,613
It's a beautiful theater.
173
00:07:45,614 --> 00:07:47,114
Last time I was here,
174
00:07:47,115 --> 00:07:49,216
I was a young
socialist dreamer,
175
00:07:49,217 --> 00:07:50,952
taking in
the opening night
176
00:07:50,953 --> 00:07:52,453
of a Clifford Odets
musical.
177
00:07:52,454 --> 00:07:53,788
I believe
it was called...
178
00:07:53,789 --> 00:07:57,391
Johnny Wants
a Living Wage.
179
00:07:57,392 --> 00:07:58,342
But I don't
want to bore you.
180
00:07:58,343 --> 00:08:00,094
Oh, it's not
boring at all.
181
00:08:00,095 --> 00:08:01,478
I love the theater.
182
00:08:01,479 --> 00:08:04,148
I can never get Joe to come,
let alone talk about it,
183
00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:05,149
so...
184
00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:06,718
please go on.
185
00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:07,852
Well, it was
a marvelous play,
186
00:08:07,853 --> 00:08:08,986
almost Brechtian,
187
00:08:08,987 --> 00:08:11,756
with a sassy hint
of old-time burlesque.
188
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,125
Closed that night.
189
00:08:15,126 --> 00:08:16,710
My, how
fascinating.
190
00:08:16,711 --> 00:08:18,162
You want fascinating?
191
00:08:18,163 --> 00:08:19,831
Have I ever told you
about the night
192
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,233
I pumped
Helen Hayes' stomach?
193
00:08:41,737 --> 00:08:43,137
Oh, my goodness.
194
00:08:44,723 --> 00:08:47,024
Oh. Oh, that
was a hoot.
195
00:08:47,025 --> 00:08:50,128
I haven't had
so much fun in years.
196
00:08:50,129 --> 00:08:52,130
Well, Arthur Spooner
197
00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:53,664
does not
disappoint.
198
00:08:53,665 --> 00:08:55,032
Well, good night.
199
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:57,701
And thank you again
for a lovely evening.
200
00:08:57,702 --> 00:09:00,054
Thank you,
milady.
201
00:09:00,055 --> 00:09:01,989
Hello, Douglas.
202
00:09:01,990 --> 00:09:03,858
Good night.
203
00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:15,302
Hey, Ma.
Oh, hey, honey.
204
00:09:15,303 --> 00:09:16,303
Off to work?
205
00:09:16,304 --> 00:09:18,639
Yeah. Is, uh,
Dad up yet?
206
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,674
Up? He's already
at the convention center
207
00:09:20,675 --> 00:09:22,210
with his trains.
208
00:09:22,211 --> 00:09:23,477
Oh.
209
00:09:23,478 --> 00:09:25,479
Just- I feel bad
leaving you here by yourself.
210
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:26,547
You, uh...
211
00:09:26,548 --> 00:09:28,449
wanna meet me
for lunch later? Or-
212
00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,367
Oh, just
a reminder, Janet.
213
00:09:30,368 --> 00:09:31,536
Bring
a light sweater.
214
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,003
It's chilly
on the lake.
215
00:09:33,004 --> 00:09:34,572
Okay.
216
00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:36,206
No, thanks, honey,
I'll be fine.
217
00:10:57,423 --> 00:10:59,156
Hey, honey.
218
00:10:59,157 --> 00:11:01,792
I'm reading an article,
"Nine Ways to Please Your Man. "
219
00:11:01,793 --> 00:11:03,894
Now, this might be
the wine talking,
220
00:11:03,895 --> 00:11:05,963
but I am willing to do
two of them.
221
00:11:07,899 --> 00:11:08,916
That's great.
222
00:11:08,917 --> 00:11:10,217
Look, I know
you've been busy
223
00:11:10,218 --> 00:11:11,852
with your bubble baths
and whatnot.
224
00:11:11,853 --> 00:11:14,254
I just wanted to get you
up to speed on a couple things.
225
00:11:14,255 --> 00:11:16,190
Uh, we're getting low
on mayo,
226
00:11:16,191 --> 00:11:18,793
I fixed that faucet thing.
And, uh-
227
00:11:18,794 --> 00:11:19,927
oh, yeah
228
00:11:19,928 --> 00:11:22,663
- our parents
are dating.
229
00:11:22,664 --> 00:11:23,681
No, they're not.
230
00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:25,916
They're just spending
time together.
231
00:11:25,917 --> 00:11:27,034
See, this is
all your fault.
232
00:11:27,035 --> 00:11:28,703
What? Yeah. Uh-
233
00:11:28,704 --> 00:11:30,755
'Cause you had to send
your father with my mother
234
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:31,789
to the theater.
235
00:11:31,790 --> 00:11:33,057
W- why would you
do that?
236
00:11:33,058 --> 00:11:34,559
I mean, there's
a reason we keep him
237
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:35,593
in the basement.
238
00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:40,047
Doug, I was just trying
to do something nice
239
00:11:40,048 --> 00:11:41,281
for your mother.
240
00:11:41,282 --> 00:11:42,132
Oh, really?
241
00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:43,200
Yeah, and you
know what?
242
00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:45,085
We wouldn't be having
this conversation
243
00:11:45,086 --> 00:11:46,621
if your father
would've taken her.
244
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,456
But, no. Of course,
he had a very serious
245
00:11:49,457 --> 00:11:52,359
choo-choo emergency.
246
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,494
Hey, when he wins
that golden caboose,
247
00:11:54,495 --> 00:11:58,999
you're gonna be sucking on
an ice-cold shut-up-sicle.
248
00:11:59,000 --> 00:11:59,834
Doug.
249
00:11:59,835 --> 00:12:02,786
I know this is hard
for you to handle, okay,
250
00:12:02,787 --> 00:12:05,156
but your parents
are having problems.
251
00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:05,973
They are not!
252
00:12:05,974 --> 00:12:07,141
Yes, they are.
253
00:12:07,142 --> 00:12:09,309
Your father has been
neglecting your mother.
254
00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:11,329
Hello!
It's train week.
255
00:12:12,146 --> 00:12:13,481
All right, look-
256
00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,599
Maybe they're going through
a little bit of a-
257
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,401
A rough spot right now.
But it doesn't help
258
00:12:17,402 --> 00:12:19,370
having your dad
sniffing around my mom.
259
00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:21,105
And by the way,
yesterday,
260
00:12:21,106 --> 00:12:22,673
I think I saw him
doing that.
261
00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:26,477
So what do you want me to do?
262
00:12:26,478 --> 00:12:28,262
Talk to him.
Tell him to back off.
263
00:12:28,263 --> 00:12:29,697
All right, I will
talk to my father.
264
00:12:29,698 --> 00:12:32,099
But I really do think you need
to talk to your mother.
265
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:33,901
Think I should talk to her?
Know what you do?
266
00:12:33,902 --> 00:12:35,369
Just get the monkey in the cage. Ugh.
267
00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:47,381
Hey, Dad.
268
00:12:47,382 --> 00:12:49,049
Ah, just the man
I wanted to see.
269
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:53,771
Here's the total expenses
I've incurred for Janet.
270
00:12:53,772 --> 00:12:56,707
I think you'll find my rates
are quite competitive.
271
00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:00,060
Uh, listen, Dad.
I don't think you should
272
00:13:00,061 --> 00:13:01,629
take Janet out tonight.
273
00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:03,430
Why? I've already
billed you for it.
274
00:13:03,431 --> 00:13:04,865
Well, I-
I just-
275
00:13:04,866 --> 00:13:06,967
I think Doug's parents
are having some problems,
276
00:13:06,968 --> 00:13:09,603
and I don't want Janet
to misinterpret your intentions.
277
00:13:09,604 --> 00:13:11,972
I assure you,
my intentions
278
00:13:11,973 --> 00:13:14,074
are purely monetary.
279
00:13:14,075 --> 00:13:15,910
Oh, that's
good to know.
280
00:13:15,911 --> 00:13:17,778
Plus, she's not
really my type.
281
00:13:17,779 --> 00:13:20,047
Arthur Spooner likes 'em
lean and mean,
282
00:13:20,048 --> 00:13:21,081
like a feral cat.
283
00:13:22,818 --> 00:13:25,218
Okay, well, I'm glad
you understand because,
284
00:13:25,219 --> 00:13:26,920
you know, you're
a pretty charming guy.
285
00:13:26,921 --> 00:13:29,523
And with you in the picture,
you know, anything could happen.
286
00:13:29,524 --> 00:13:31,008
Know what I'm saying?
Yes, I do.
287
00:13:31,009 --> 00:13:32,359
Okay.
288
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,662
Although, now that
you bring it up...
289
00:13:36,081 --> 00:13:39,550
...this last week has been
such a crazy whirlwind...
290
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,285
I really haven't had a chance
291
00:13:41,286 --> 00:13:43,120
to gauge my feelings for Janet.
292
00:13:43,121 --> 00:13:45,539
No, Dad, no feelings.
Nothing to gauge.
293
00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:46,757
I mean...
294
00:13:46,758 --> 00:13:49,760
Janet does have a smile
that lights up the room.
295
00:13:49,761 --> 00:13:51,712
See, I disagree.
Middle-of-the-road smile.
296
00:13:51,713 --> 00:13:54,148
And you did say
her marriage is on the rocks,
297
00:13:54,149 --> 00:13:57,084
so I'd just be speeding up
the inevitable.
298
00:13:57,085 --> 00:14:00,154
Okay, Dad, look.
I will give you $500
299
00:14:00,155 --> 00:14:01,822
if you stay away
from Doug's mother.
300
00:14:01,823 --> 00:14:04,258
My love can't be bought!
301
00:14:07,412 --> 00:14:09,396
Oh, hi, Dougie.
302
00:14:09,397 --> 00:14:11,198
Hey, Ma.
303
00:14:11,199 --> 00:14:13,200
Artie's taking me to
the Velvet Lounge tonight.
304
00:14:13,201 --> 00:14:14,969
Is this dressy enough?
305
00:14:14,970 --> 00:14:16,804
I- Yeah, actually,
you know what? I-
306
00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:18,872
I wanna talk to you
about Arthur for a second.
307
00:14:18,873 --> 00:14:20,007
Oh, sure.
What is it?
308
00:14:21,109 --> 00:14:23,027
I just wanna thank you,
first of all,
309
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,930
for putting up with
his craziness all week.
310
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:29,267
Welcome to my world,
you know what I'm saying?
311
00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:30,417
Oh, I don't mind.
Mm-mm.
312
00:14:30,418 --> 00:14:31,986
I like Arthur.
313
00:14:31,987 --> 00:14:33,004
Yeah, y-you know.
314
00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:34,272
You like him,
but...
315
00:14:34,273 --> 00:14:35,506
in the way you like
316
00:14:35,507 --> 00:14:37,841
a sad, little three-legged
dog, you know. Heh.
317
00:14:39,177 --> 00:14:41,779
Actually, it's more pity
than like, am I right?
318
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:44,464
No, I really
like him.
319
00:14:44,465 --> 00:14:46,567
Okay, fine.
You like him. Yeah.
320
00:14:46,568 --> 00:14:48,502
What's your point?
321
00:14:48,503 --> 00:14:50,438
My point is, uh, you don't
actually like him
322
00:14:50,439 --> 00:14:52,139
like you like dad,
right?
323
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:54,174
I mean...
324
00:14:54,175 --> 00:14:55,942
I'm so confused.
325
00:14:58,079 --> 00:14:59,880
Oh, God.
326
00:14:59,881 --> 00:15:03,300
I- it's just that
it's been so long since...
327
00:15:03,301 --> 00:15:04,601
someone paid
attention to me.
328
00:15:04,602 --> 00:15:06,403
Someone who-
329
00:15:06,404 --> 00:15:08,839
Who was excited
to spend time with me.
330
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,307
Dad does that.
331
00:15:10,308 --> 00:15:12,042
No, he doesn't.
332
00:15:12,043 --> 00:15:13,744
All he cares about
is his trains.
333
00:15:13,745 --> 00:15:16,030
Yeah. Yeah, he-
Yeah, he likes his trains,
334
00:15:16,031 --> 00:15:18,966
but you guys have
so much other stuff.
335
00:15:18,967 --> 00:15:20,084
Like what?
336
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,819
Like-
You got your Boggle.
337
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,456
Uh, Judging Amy.
338
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:29,026
Your Judge Judy-
All your judges.
339
00:15:29,027 --> 00:15:31,762
Bottom line, you guys
got a lot of stuff.
340
00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:33,280
Look, Doug...
341
00:15:33,281 --> 00:15:36,450
I know that I'm not
a young girl anymore.
342
00:15:36,451 --> 00:15:38,719
But I still have
urges and desires
343
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,387
that need to be fulfilled.
344
00:15:40,388 --> 00:15:41,789
Mm-hm.
345
00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:47,895
And I'm not just talking
about the physical act of sex.
346
00:15:54,335 --> 00:15:56,120
Which, by the way,
your father-
347
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:57,688
All right, Ma,
that's it!
348
00:15:57,689 --> 00:15:59,923
No more desires or urges.
349
00:15:59,924 --> 00:16:01,492
And you are not
to be fulfilled.
350
00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:04,295
Now go in there
and bake something!
351
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,397
I'm sorry, Douglas,
352
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:09,132
but I am going out
with Arthur tonight.
353
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,121
Did you talk to
your dad?
354
00:16:15,122 --> 00:16:18,124
Um, yes,
we talked.
355
00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:21,145
Douglas, I want you
to know
356
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,047
if things between your mother
and I go the way
357
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:24,815
I think they're
heading,
358
00:16:24,816 --> 00:16:27,184
I would never try to
replace your father.
359
00:16:28,419 --> 00:16:30,904
But I do expect
to be obeyed.
360
00:16:32,023 --> 00:16:33,306
What happened
down there?
361
00:16:33,307 --> 00:16:34,307
I don't know.
362
00:16:34,308 --> 00:16:36,142
It got away from me
pretty fast.
363
00:16:37,312 --> 00:16:38,345
Heh.
364
00:16:38,346 --> 00:16:39,980
You listen up,
old man. Um...
365
00:16:39,981 --> 00:16:41,515
if you try to take
my mother out again,
366
00:16:41,516 --> 00:16:43,784
you're gonna be
in a world of pain.
367
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:45,986
Son, this belt doesn't
just keep my pants up.
368
00:16:56,497 --> 00:16:57,731
Hey, Dad.
369
00:16:57,732 --> 00:16:59,366
Yeah, just a sec.
370
00:17:01,502 --> 00:17:03,303
Huh! Huh-huh?
371
00:17:03,304 --> 00:17:06,273
You think Dorfman's got this
in his stupid alpine village?
372
00:17:06,274 --> 00:17:07,340
Uh-uh.
373
00:17:07,341 --> 00:17:09,043
Look. You know,
th-that's great.
374
00:17:09,044 --> 00:17:11,028
Do you know Mom went out
with Arthur again tonight?
375
00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:13,647
Oh, good. Here, hand me that
little Chinese couple, okay?
376
00:17:13,648 --> 00:17:16,550
You want a shot at winning this,
you gotta play the PC game.
377
00:17:16,551 --> 00:17:19,103
Look, you know,
I- I talked to Mom,
378
00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:21,205
and I gotta tell you,
she's not completely happy.
379
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,807
Aw, you know
your mom. She's fine.
380
00:17:23,808 --> 00:17:24,941
Da- No, Dad,
she's not.
381
00:17:24,942 --> 00:17:26,677
And you know where
she went with Arthur?
382
00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:28,211
To the Velvet Lounge.
383
00:17:28,212 --> 00:17:29,563
Really?
384
00:17:29,564 --> 00:17:32,699
That's where I used to take her
when we started dating. Heh.
385
00:17:32,700 --> 00:17:36,136
Yeah. Y-you know, I-I-I-
I think you should go to her.
386
00:17:36,137 --> 00:17:38,855
No, I can't.
This is judging night.
387
00:17:38,856 --> 00:17:41,158
Uh, this is my year. I'm gonna
get that golden caboose.
388
00:17:41,159 --> 00:17:42,676
Dad, would you stop
with the trains?!
389
00:17:42,677 --> 00:17:44,194
What? Stop! Enough already!
390
00:17:44,195 --> 00:17:45,679
I mean, Mom was right.
391
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,798
All you care about
are these damn trains.
392
00:17:47,799 --> 00:17:49,566
Our whole lives
they came first.
393
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:50,968
That's not true.
It is true.
394
00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:52,703
When I was a kid
you wouldn't let me touch 'em.
395
00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:54,537
You had your chance,
and you blew it.
396
00:17:54,538 --> 00:17:56,940
I was 4. The freight car
looked like a candy bar.
397
00:17:56,941 --> 00:17:59,209
Turn the page.
Aw.
398
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:01,011
Come on, Dougie.
Even when I got older, Dad,
399
00:18:01,012 --> 00:18:02,329
you said I couldn't
play with 'em
400
00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:03,781
'cause I didn't have
a license.
401
00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:05,683
There were no licenses,
were there?
402
00:18:07,769 --> 00:18:10,838
Not at the time, no.
It's...
403
00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:13,406
Y- your mother's
really unhappy?
404
00:18:19,697 --> 00:18:21,131
You're right.
405
00:18:23,201 --> 00:18:26,352
These trains, they hurt
the people I love.
406
00:18:26,353 --> 00:18:28,705
I gotta go find
your mother.
407
00:18:28,706 --> 00:18:30,740
Good.
I, uh...
408
00:18:30,741 --> 00:18:33,610
I need you to do me
a favor, son.
409
00:18:33,611 --> 00:18:34,911
What?
410
00:18:38,749 --> 00:18:41,451
Take the Boston Bullet
into the station.
411
00:18:43,421 --> 00:18:44,805
Can do.
412
00:19:21,058 --> 00:19:24,528
Janet. I must say, you move
with a silky elegance.
413
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:27,380
Thank you, Arthur.
414
00:19:29,050 --> 00:19:30,283
You know...
415
00:19:30,284 --> 00:19:32,703
we can stay out
as late as you want.
416
00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:36,624
I've adjusted my medications
accordingly.
417
00:19:39,894 --> 00:19:41,228
Oh.
418
00:19:44,899 --> 00:19:45,999
Oh, it looks like
someone
419
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,703
could use another
"martooni. "
420
00:19:49,704 --> 00:19:52,606
Well, maybe
just one more.
421
00:20:06,855 --> 00:20:07,854
Joe?
422
00:20:34,432 --> 00:20:37,083
Janet, I'm not saying
it's gonna be easy,
423
00:20:37,084 --> 00:20:39,086
but with my love
and your alimony...
424
00:20:39,087 --> 00:20:42,155
we can build a life together.
425
00:20:42,156 --> 00:20:43,623
Eh.
426
00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:47,845
All right.
427
00:20:55,836 --> 00:20:57,821
I'm gonna need
a receipt for these.
428
00:20:59,740 --> 00:21:02,576
And it's back
to the basement.
429
00:21:15,522 --> 00:21:17,891
I told you,
my dad had to leave.
430
00:21:17,892 --> 00:21:19,626
They were his trains.
431
00:21:19,627 --> 00:21:21,929
But you said your father
had these trains for 30 years.
432
00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:23,430
You never used it once?
433
00:21:23,431 --> 00:21:24,715
He wouldn't let me.
434
00:21:24,716 --> 00:21:26,266
It doesn't add up.
435
00:21:26,267 --> 00:21:28,501
Doesn't add up.
436
00:21:28,502 --> 00:21:30,153
Am I released now?
437
00:21:30,154 --> 00:21:31,421
No.
30101
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