All language subtitles for The King of Queens - 07x06 - Offtrack... Bedding.Unknown.English.edit.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,575 --> 00:00:10,659 Son of a- 2 00:00:58,540 --> 00:00:59,741 Little help. 3 00:01:37,462 --> 00:01:39,230 Hey, sticky buns. 4 00:01:39,231 --> 00:01:42,066 Aw, it's cute when you give me little nicknames. 5 00:01:44,386 --> 00:01:45,537 Hm? 6 00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:47,071 Nothing. 7 00:01:47,072 --> 00:01:48,272 Aren't my parents here yet? 8 00:01:48,273 --> 00:01:49,407 No. 9 00:01:49,408 --> 00:01:51,192 Uh, they called from the airport, though. 10 00:01:51,193 --> 00:01:54,695 Your father's holding out for a cheaper taxi. 11 00:01:54,696 --> 00:01:57,248 I would've liked to see them before my union meeting tonight. 12 00:01:57,249 --> 00:02:00,117 Union meeting? Since when do you go to union meetings? 13 00:02:00,118 --> 00:02:02,169 Since they started serving beer. 14 00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:04,071 And we might be going on strike or something. 15 00:02:04,072 --> 00:02:05,740 I don't know. What's the big deal? 16 00:02:05,741 --> 00:02:07,091 Well, Doug, I- I have some work to do. 17 00:02:07,092 --> 00:02:08,776 I need you to entertain your parents. 18 00:02:08,777 --> 00:02:09,911 And I was kind of hoping to 19 00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:12,113 try out my new bubble bath as well. 20 00:02:12,114 --> 00:02:14,015 "Lavender surrender. " 21 00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,501 Make a good stripper name. 22 00:02:16,502 --> 00:02:17,852 All right, Doug. 23 00:02:17,853 --> 00:02:20,305 I'm just saying. I wouldn't have to go to any union meetings 24 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,707 if you could work a couple nights as Lavender Surrender. 25 00:02:22,708 --> 00:02:24,309 All right, come on. I really have stuff 26 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,627 I gotta do tonight. 27 00:02:25,628 --> 00:02:27,078 Relax, all right, I got it covered. 28 00:02:27,079 --> 00:02:28,679 Tonight, I got two theater tickets 29 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:29,814 for my parents. 30 00:02:29,815 --> 00:02:31,383 So once they're out of the house, 31 00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,618 you can take a bath, invite your boyfriend over- 32 00:02:33,619 --> 00:02:35,320 The house is yours. 33 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,055 I just hope they're 34 00:02:37,056 --> 00:02:38,756 getting along a little better. 35 00:02:38,757 --> 00:02:39,824 What? 36 00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:41,442 You remember last month in Florida, 37 00:02:41,443 --> 00:02:43,678 they were going at each other all the time. 38 00:02:43,679 --> 00:02:45,346 No, they weren't. 39 00:02:45,347 --> 00:02:46,281 Doug, come on. 40 00:02:46,282 --> 00:02:48,082 Your father called your mother an idiot 41 00:02:48,083 --> 00:02:51,519 because she bought him potato chips in a can. 44 00:02:55,891 --> 00:02:57,491 because you bought me mini donuts 45 00:02:57,492 --> 00:03:00,094 instead of the regular size? 46 00:03:00,095 --> 00:03:02,630 Does that mean I don't love you? 47 00:03:02,631 --> 00:03:05,333 Well, you did say some pretty hurtful things. 48 00:03:05,334 --> 00:03:08,336 Well, I don't like mini donuts. 49 00:03:10,406 --> 00:03:12,490 There they are. Okay. 50 00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:17,479 Hey! 51 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:19,313 Hello, honey! 52 00:03:19,314 --> 00:03:20,548 How are you? Good to see ya. 53 00:03:20,549 --> 00:03:22,283 Hi, Dougie. Hey, Dougie, quick. 54 00:03:22,284 --> 00:03:24,702 Go grab the bags before the cabby gets 'em. 55 00:03:24,703 --> 00:03:26,137 This guy is fishing for a tip. 56 00:03:27,506 --> 00:03:28,289 So how was your flight? 57 00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:29,724 Oh, it was really nice. 58 00:03:29,725 --> 00:03:32,543 Ah, you know, they recycle the air on those planes, 59 00:03:32,544 --> 00:03:35,146 so it's mostly exhaled carbon dioxide 60 00:03:35,147 --> 00:03:37,815 and flecks of other people's skin. 61 00:03:37,816 --> 00:03:40,134 Did not know that. Hm. 62 00:03:40,135 --> 00:03:42,337 I brought you the in-flight magazine. 63 00:03:42,338 --> 00:03:44,739 Oh, thank you. There's an article in there 64 00:03:44,740 --> 00:03:46,474 on Arsenio Hall's favorite steak house. 65 00:03:46,475 --> 00:03:47,875 Turns out- 66 00:03:47,876 --> 00:03:50,528 Bup-bup-bup-bup. I wanna be surprised. 67 00:03:50,529 --> 00:03:52,330 Still fighting bags with wheels, huh, dad? 68 00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:54,466 Hey, wheels break. Then where are ya? 69 00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:55,767 Right back to here. 70 00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:58,636 So, Joe, you all ready for your big convention? 71 00:03:58,637 --> 00:04:00,422 Oh, yes, I am. 72 00:04:00,423 --> 00:04:03,058 Feast your eyes on what's gonna bring home 73 00:04:03,059 --> 00:04:05,160 the golden caboose 74 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,328 at the 43rd annual 75 00:04:07,329 --> 00:04:09,997 Model Train Expo. 76 00:04:09,998 --> 00:04:11,782 Oh, that is pretty sweet. 77 00:04:11,783 --> 00:04:13,601 Hey, hey, hey. You know the rules. 78 00:04:13,602 --> 00:04:15,603 Oh, come on, Joe. Let him touch the train. 79 00:04:15,604 --> 00:04:17,972 It's not a train. It's an engine. 80 00:04:17,973 --> 00:04:19,991 Oh, well, in that case, who cares? I care! 81 00:04:19,992 --> 00:04:22,093 You know, for one week- one week out of the year 82 00:04:22,094 --> 00:04:23,995 - could I have that to enjoy myself? 83 00:04:23,996 --> 00:04:24,796 Fine. 84 00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:25,914 Good. 85 00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:31,819 Speaking of enjoying yourselves... 86 00:04:33,255 --> 00:04:34,688 who's going to see Robert Goulet 87 00:04:34,689 --> 00:04:36,391 in Camelot tonight? 88 00:04:36,392 --> 00:04:37,425 Really? Oh? 89 00:04:37,426 --> 00:04:39,494 Oh. That's my favorite show. 90 00:04:39,495 --> 00:04:40,628 I know. 91 00:04:40,629 --> 00:04:42,730 Aw, Joe, look. 92 00:04:42,731 --> 00:04:45,233 Whoa! Sixty-five bucks each. 93 00:04:46,768 --> 00:04:48,970 I wonder how much of this goes to Goulet. 94 00:04:48,971 --> 00:04:51,338 All right, well, you guys have a great time. 95 00:04:51,339 --> 00:04:52,957 I got a union thing I gotta go to. 96 00:04:52,958 --> 00:04:54,326 Aw, thank you, Dougie. 97 00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:56,244 That was so generous of you. 98 00:04:56,245 --> 00:04:57,595 Come on. 99 00:04:57,596 --> 00:04:58,529 You guys raised me. 100 00:04:58,530 --> 00:05:00,631 You paid for me to go to college. 101 00:05:00,632 --> 00:05:02,600 Sorry that didn't work out. 102 00:05:12,461 --> 00:05:14,796 Ooh. Look at you. 103 00:05:14,797 --> 00:05:16,731 You look beautiful. 104 00:05:16,732 --> 00:05:17,482 Oh, thank you, Carrie. 105 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,934 I am so looking forward to tonight. 106 00:05:19,935 --> 00:05:22,203 There's nothing more exciting than a live show. 107 00:05:22,204 --> 00:05:23,404 Yeah. 108 00:05:23,405 --> 00:05:24,538 Last live show Doug took me to, 109 00:05:24,539 --> 00:05:26,641 it was two guys fighting in a cage. 110 00:05:28,343 --> 00:05:29,644 Oh, no. 111 00:05:29,645 --> 00:05:31,746 You're not wearing that train hat to the theater. 112 00:05:31,747 --> 00:05:33,781 I can't go. What? 113 00:05:33,782 --> 00:05:35,566 I got a call from the convention center. 114 00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:37,535 They're assigning table locations tonight, 115 00:05:37,536 --> 00:05:38,986 not in the morning. So? 116 00:05:38,987 --> 00:05:40,955 So if I don't get down there ASAP, 117 00:05:40,956 --> 00:05:44,959 I'll be way in the back with all those monorail freaks. 118 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,828 But Dougie bought those tickets. 119 00:05:46,829 --> 00:05:48,096 Hey. 120 00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:50,548 The grand conductor makes the assignments, not me. 121 00:05:50,549 --> 00:05:52,700 I'm sorry. I gotta go. 122 00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:57,271 I'm sorry, Janet. 123 00:05:57,272 --> 00:05:57,972 Don't be. 124 00:05:57,973 --> 00:05:59,523 Who needs him? 125 00:05:59,524 --> 00:06:01,358 Hey, maybe you'll come with me. 126 00:06:01,359 --> 00:06:02,660 We could do a girls' night out? 127 00:06:02,661 --> 00:06:04,746 Ah, I wish I could, but I have all this work. 128 00:06:04,747 --> 00:06:06,681 Oh, yeah, of course, your work. 129 00:06:06,682 --> 00:06:08,850 Hey, you know what? 130 00:06:08,851 --> 00:06:11,853 There's no law against a woman going to the theater by herself. 131 00:06:11,854 --> 00:06:13,621 I just, uh... 132 00:06:13,622 --> 00:06:15,789 I'll do it, and- And- And it'll be better, you know, 133 00:06:15,790 --> 00:06:18,826 because I won't have to fight with Joe for the armrest. 134 00:06:18,827 --> 00:06:20,061 Yeah. There you go. 135 00:06:20,062 --> 00:06:22,263 So I'm just gonna go get my bag. 136 00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:25,983 Hey, Dad. 137 00:06:25,984 --> 00:06:27,719 You're home early. 138 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,053 Tough night at the senior center. 139 00:06:29,054 --> 00:06:30,955 I had to flip the checkerboard in a fit of rage 140 00:06:30,956 --> 00:06:32,390 earlier than usual. 141 00:06:34,025 --> 00:06:35,960 I take it the duke and duchess 142 00:06:35,961 --> 00:06:37,579 of Fort Lauderdale have arrived. 143 00:06:37,580 --> 00:06:39,046 Yes. 144 00:06:39,047 --> 00:06:41,332 Why do you have such a problem with Doug's parents? 145 00:06:41,333 --> 00:06:43,218 I can't take their constant bragging. 146 00:06:43,219 --> 00:06:45,887 "Oh, we saved for our retirement. " 147 00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:47,088 How bourgeois. 148 00:06:51,493 --> 00:06:53,444 Goulet's in town? 149 00:06:53,445 --> 00:06:54,545 Yeah. 150 00:06:55,647 --> 00:06:57,782 Hey. Why don't you go with Janet? 151 00:06:57,783 --> 00:06:58,850 Me? 152 00:06:58,851 --> 00:06:59,633 Yeah. Joe can't go, 153 00:06:59,634 --> 00:07:01,218 and I have all this work I have to do, 154 00:07:01,219 --> 00:07:02,820 but it would really help everyone out 155 00:07:02,821 --> 00:07:03,821 if you would take her. 156 00:07:03,822 --> 00:07:04,889 What do you say? 157 00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:06,407 No posible, señorita. 158 00:07:06,408 --> 00:07:07,775 Dad. 159 00:07:07,776 --> 00:07:10,111 Come on. Please? 160 00:07:10,112 --> 00:07:12,914 How can I say no to my little girl? 161 00:07:12,915 --> 00:07:14,916 Ten bucks, plus expenses. 162 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,890 Subway fare, $3. 163 00:07:23,058 --> 00:07:25,626 Two knishes, $4. 164 00:07:26,896 --> 00:07:28,429 Janet, how much was that program? 165 00:07:28,430 --> 00:07:29,563 Oh, these are free. 166 00:07:29,564 --> 00:07:31,199 Uh-huh. 167 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,117 One commemorative program, 168 00:07:33,118 --> 00:07:35,820 $12.95. 169 00:07:37,322 --> 00:07:39,173 It was so nice of you to come with me, Arthur. 170 00:07:39,174 --> 00:07:40,174 My pleasure. 171 00:07:40,175 --> 00:07:41,843 Carry the one... 172 00:07:44,012 --> 00:07:45,613 It's a beautiful theater. 173 00:07:45,614 --> 00:07:47,114 Last time I was here, 174 00:07:47,115 --> 00:07:49,216 I was a young socialist dreamer, 175 00:07:49,217 --> 00:07:50,952 taking in the opening night 176 00:07:50,953 --> 00:07:52,453 of a Clifford Odets musical. 177 00:07:52,454 --> 00:07:53,788 I believe it was called... 178 00:07:53,789 --> 00:07:57,391 Johnny Wants a Living Wage. 179 00:07:57,392 --> 00:07:58,342 But I don't want to bore you. 180 00:07:58,343 --> 00:08:00,094 Oh, it's not boring at all. 181 00:08:00,095 --> 00:08:01,478 I love the theater. 182 00:08:01,479 --> 00:08:04,148 I can never get Joe to come, let alone talk about it, 183 00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:05,149 so... 184 00:08:05,150 --> 00:08:06,718 please go on. 185 00:08:06,719 --> 00:08:07,852 Well, it was a marvelous play, 186 00:08:07,853 --> 00:08:08,986 almost Brechtian, 187 00:08:08,987 --> 00:08:11,756 with a sassy hint of old-time burlesque. 188 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,125 Closed that night. 189 00:08:15,126 --> 00:08:16,710 My, how fascinating. 190 00:08:16,711 --> 00:08:18,162 You want fascinating? 191 00:08:18,163 --> 00:08:19,831 Have I ever told you about the night 192 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,233 I pumped Helen Hayes' stomach? 193 00:08:41,737 --> 00:08:43,137 Oh, my goodness. 194 00:08:44,723 --> 00:08:47,024 Oh. Oh, that was a hoot. 195 00:08:47,025 --> 00:08:50,128 I haven't had so much fun in years. 196 00:08:50,129 --> 00:08:52,130 Well, Arthur Spooner 197 00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:53,664 does not disappoint. 198 00:08:53,665 --> 00:08:55,032 Well, good night. 199 00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:57,701 And thank you again for a lovely evening. 200 00:08:57,702 --> 00:09:00,054 Thank you, milady. 201 00:09:00,055 --> 00:09:01,989 Hello, Douglas. 202 00:09:01,990 --> 00:09:03,858 Good night. 203 00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:15,302 Hey, Ma. Oh, hey, honey. 204 00:09:15,303 --> 00:09:16,303 Off to work? 205 00:09:16,304 --> 00:09:18,639 Yeah. Is, uh, Dad up yet? 206 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,674 Up? He's already at the convention center 207 00:09:20,675 --> 00:09:22,210 with his trains. 208 00:09:22,211 --> 00:09:23,477 Oh. 209 00:09:23,478 --> 00:09:25,479 Just- I feel bad leaving you here by yourself. 210 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:26,547 You, uh... 211 00:09:26,548 --> 00:09:28,449 wanna meet me for lunch later? Or- 212 00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:30,367 Oh, just a reminder, Janet. 213 00:09:30,368 --> 00:09:31,536 Bring a light sweater. 214 00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,003 It's chilly on the lake. 215 00:09:33,004 --> 00:09:34,572 Okay. 216 00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:36,206 No, thanks, honey, I'll be fine. 217 00:10:57,423 --> 00:10:59,156 Hey, honey. 218 00:10:59,157 --> 00:11:01,792 I'm reading an article, "Nine Ways to Please Your Man. " 219 00:11:01,793 --> 00:11:03,894 Now, this might be the wine talking, 220 00:11:03,895 --> 00:11:05,963 but I am willing to do two of them. 221 00:11:07,899 --> 00:11:08,916 That's great. 222 00:11:08,917 --> 00:11:10,217 Look, I know you've been busy 223 00:11:10,218 --> 00:11:11,852 with your bubble baths and whatnot. 224 00:11:11,853 --> 00:11:14,254 I just wanted to get you up to speed on a couple things. 225 00:11:14,255 --> 00:11:16,190 Uh, we're getting low on mayo, 226 00:11:16,191 --> 00:11:18,793 I fixed that faucet thing. And, uh- 227 00:11:18,794 --> 00:11:19,927 oh, yeah 228 00:11:19,928 --> 00:11:22,663 - our parents are dating. 229 00:11:22,664 --> 00:11:23,681 No, they're not. 230 00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:25,916 They're just spending time together. 231 00:11:25,917 --> 00:11:27,034 See, this is all your fault. 232 00:11:27,035 --> 00:11:28,703 What? Yeah. Uh- 233 00:11:28,704 --> 00:11:30,755 'Cause you had to send your father with my mother 234 00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:31,789 to the theater. 235 00:11:31,790 --> 00:11:33,057 W- why would you do that? 236 00:11:33,058 --> 00:11:34,559 I mean, there's a reason we keep him 237 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:35,593 in the basement. 238 00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:40,047 Doug, I was just trying to do something nice 239 00:11:40,048 --> 00:11:41,281 for your mother. 240 00:11:41,282 --> 00:11:42,132 Oh, really? 241 00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:43,200 Yeah, and you know what? 242 00:11:43,201 --> 00:11:45,085 We wouldn't be having this conversation 243 00:11:45,086 --> 00:11:46,621 if your father would've taken her. 244 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,456 But, no. Of course, he had a very serious 245 00:11:49,457 --> 00:11:52,359 choo-choo emergency. 246 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,494 Hey, when he wins that golden caboose, 247 00:11:54,495 --> 00:11:58,999 you're gonna be sucking on an ice-cold shut-up-sicle. 248 00:11:59,000 --> 00:11:59,834 Doug. 249 00:11:59,835 --> 00:12:02,786 I know this is hard for you to handle, okay, 250 00:12:02,787 --> 00:12:05,156 but your parents are having problems. 251 00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:05,973 They are not! 252 00:12:05,974 --> 00:12:07,141 Yes, they are. 253 00:12:07,142 --> 00:12:09,309 Your father has been neglecting your mother. 254 00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:11,329 Hello! It's train week. 255 00:12:12,146 --> 00:12:13,481 All right, look- 256 00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:15,599 Maybe they're going through a little bit of a- 257 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,401 A rough spot right now. But it doesn't help 258 00:12:17,402 --> 00:12:19,370 having your dad sniffing around my mom. 259 00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:21,105 And by the way, yesterday, 260 00:12:21,106 --> 00:12:22,673 I think I saw him doing that. 261 00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:26,477 So what do you want me to do? 262 00:12:26,478 --> 00:12:28,262 Talk to him. Tell him to back off. 263 00:12:28,263 --> 00:12:29,697 All right, I will talk to my father. 264 00:12:29,698 --> 00:12:32,099 But I really do think you need to talk to your mother. 265 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:33,901 Think I should talk to her? Know what you do? 266 00:12:33,902 --> 00:12:35,369 Just get the monkey in the cage. Ugh. 267 00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:47,381 Hey, Dad. 268 00:12:47,382 --> 00:12:49,049 Ah, just the man I wanted to see. 269 00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:53,771 Here's the total expenses I've incurred for Janet. 270 00:12:53,772 --> 00:12:56,707 I think you'll find my rates are quite competitive. 271 00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:00,060 Uh, listen, Dad. I don't think you should 272 00:13:00,061 --> 00:13:01,629 take Janet out tonight. 273 00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:03,430 Why? I've already billed you for it. 274 00:13:03,431 --> 00:13:04,865 Well, I- I just- 275 00:13:04,866 --> 00:13:06,967 I think Doug's parents are having some problems, 276 00:13:06,968 --> 00:13:09,603 and I don't want Janet to misinterpret your intentions. 277 00:13:09,604 --> 00:13:11,972 I assure you, my intentions 278 00:13:11,973 --> 00:13:14,074 are purely monetary. 279 00:13:14,075 --> 00:13:15,910 Oh, that's good to know. 280 00:13:15,911 --> 00:13:17,778 Plus, she's not really my type. 281 00:13:17,779 --> 00:13:20,047 Arthur Spooner likes 'em lean and mean, 282 00:13:20,048 --> 00:13:21,081 like a feral cat. 283 00:13:22,818 --> 00:13:25,218 Okay, well, I'm glad you understand because, 284 00:13:25,219 --> 00:13:26,920 you know, you're a pretty charming guy. 285 00:13:26,921 --> 00:13:29,523 And with you in the picture, you know, anything could happen. 286 00:13:29,524 --> 00:13:31,008 Know what I'm saying? Yes, I do. 287 00:13:31,009 --> 00:13:32,359 Okay. 288 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,662 Although, now that you bring it up... 289 00:13:36,081 --> 00:13:39,550 ...this last week has been such a crazy whirlwind... 290 00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:41,285 I really haven't had a chance 291 00:13:41,286 --> 00:13:43,120 to gauge my feelings for Janet. 292 00:13:43,121 --> 00:13:45,539 No, Dad, no feelings. Nothing to gauge. 293 00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:46,757 I mean... 294 00:13:46,758 --> 00:13:49,760 Janet does have a smile that lights up the room. 295 00:13:49,761 --> 00:13:51,712 See, I disagree. Middle-of-the-road smile. 296 00:13:51,713 --> 00:13:54,148 And you did say her marriage is on the rocks, 297 00:13:54,149 --> 00:13:57,084 so I'd just be speeding up the inevitable. 298 00:13:57,085 --> 00:14:00,154 Okay, Dad, look. I will give you $500 299 00:14:00,155 --> 00:14:01,822 if you stay away from Doug's mother. 300 00:14:01,823 --> 00:14:04,258 My love can't be bought! 301 00:14:07,412 --> 00:14:09,396 Oh, hi, Dougie. 302 00:14:09,397 --> 00:14:11,198 Hey, Ma. 303 00:14:11,199 --> 00:14:13,200 Artie's taking me to the Velvet Lounge tonight. 304 00:14:13,201 --> 00:14:14,969 Is this dressy enough? 305 00:14:14,970 --> 00:14:16,804 I- Yeah, actually, you know what? I- 306 00:14:16,805 --> 00:14:18,872 I wanna talk to you about Arthur for a second. 307 00:14:18,873 --> 00:14:20,007 Oh, sure. What is it? 308 00:14:21,109 --> 00:14:23,027 I just wanna thank you, first of all, 309 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,930 for putting up with his craziness all week. 310 00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:29,267 Welcome to my world, you know what I'm saying? 311 00:14:29,268 --> 00:14:30,417 Oh, I don't mind. Mm-mm. 312 00:14:30,418 --> 00:14:31,986 I like Arthur. 313 00:14:31,987 --> 00:14:33,004 Yeah, y-you know. 314 00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:34,272 You like him, but... 315 00:14:34,273 --> 00:14:35,506 in the way you like 316 00:14:35,507 --> 00:14:37,841 a sad, little three-legged dog, you know. Heh. 317 00:14:39,177 --> 00:14:41,779 Actually, it's more pity than like, am I right? 318 00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:44,464 No, I really like him. 319 00:14:44,465 --> 00:14:46,567 Okay, fine. You like him. Yeah. 320 00:14:46,568 --> 00:14:48,502 What's your point? 321 00:14:48,503 --> 00:14:50,438 My point is, uh, you don't actually like him 322 00:14:50,439 --> 00:14:52,139 like you like dad, right? 323 00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:54,174 I mean... 324 00:14:54,175 --> 00:14:55,942 I'm so confused. 325 00:14:58,079 --> 00:14:59,880 Oh, God. 326 00:14:59,881 --> 00:15:03,300 I- it's just that it's been so long since... 327 00:15:03,301 --> 00:15:04,601 someone paid attention to me. 328 00:15:04,602 --> 00:15:06,403 Someone who- 329 00:15:06,404 --> 00:15:08,839 Who was excited to spend time with me. 330 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,307 Dad does that. 331 00:15:10,308 --> 00:15:12,042 No, he doesn't. 332 00:15:12,043 --> 00:15:13,744 All he cares about is his trains. 333 00:15:13,745 --> 00:15:16,030 Yeah. Yeah, he- Yeah, he likes his trains, 334 00:15:16,031 --> 00:15:18,966 but you guys have so much other stuff. 335 00:15:18,967 --> 00:15:20,084 Like what? 336 00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,819 Like- You got your Boggle. 337 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,456 Uh, Judging Amy. 338 00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:29,026 Your Judge Judy- All your judges. 339 00:15:29,027 --> 00:15:31,762 Bottom line, you guys got a lot of stuff. 340 00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:33,280 Look, Doug... 341 00:15:33,281 --> 00:15:36,450 I know that I'm not a young girl anymore. 342 00:15:36,451 --> 00:15:38,719 But I still have urges and desires 343 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,387 that need to be fulfilled. 344 00:15:40,388 --> 00:15:41,789 Mm-hm. 345 00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:47,895 And I'm not just talking about the physical act of sex. 346 00:15:54,335 --> 00:15:56,120 Which, by the way, your father- 347 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:57,688 All right, Ma, that's it! 348 00:15:57,689 --> 00:15:59,923 No more desires or urges. 349 00:15:59,924 --> 00:16:01,492 And you are not to be fulfilled. 350 00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:04,295 Now go in there and bake something! 351 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,397 I'm sorry, Douglas, 352 00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:09,132 but I am going out with Arthur tonight. 353 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,121 Did you talk to your dad? 354 00:16:15,122 --> 00:16:18,124 Um, yes, we talked. 355 00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:21,145 Douglas, I want you to know 356 00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,047 if things between your mother and I go the way 357 00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:24,815 I think they're heading, 358 00:16:24,816 --> 00:16:27,184 I would never try to replace your father. 359 00:16:28,419 --> 00:16:30,904 But I do expect to be obeyed. 360 00:16:32,023 --> 00:16:33,306 What happened down there? 361 00:16:33,307 --> 00:16:34,307 I don't know. 362 00:16:34,308 --> 00:16:36,142 It got away from me pretty fast. 363 00:16:37,312 --> 00:16:38,345 Heh. 364 00:16:38,346 --> 00:16:39,980 You listen up, old man. Um... 365 00:16:39,981 --> 00:16:41,515 if you try to take my mother out again, 366 00:16:41,516 --> 00:16:43,784 you're gonna be in a world of pain. 367 00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:45,986 Son, this belt doesn't just keep my pants up. 368 00:16:56,497 --> 00:16:57,731 Hey, Dad. 369 00:16:57,732 --> 00:16:59,366 Yeah, just a sec. 370 00:17:01,502 --> 00:17:03,303 Huh! Huh-huh? 371 00:17:03,304 --> 00:17:06,273 You think Dorfman's got this in his stupid alpine village? 372 00:17:06,274 --> 00:17:07,340 Uh-uh. 373 00:17:07,341 --> 00:17:09,043 Look. You know, th-that's great. 374 00:17:09,044 --> 00:17:11,028 Do you know Mom went out with Arthur again tonight? 375 00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:13,647 Oh, good. Here, hand me that little Chinese couple, okay? 376 00:17:13,648 --> 00:17:16,550 You want a shot at winning this, you gotta play the PC game. 377 00:17:16,551 --> 00:17:19,103 Look, you know, I- I talked to Mom, 378 00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:21,205 and I gotta tell you, she's not completely happy. 379 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,807 Aw, you know your mom. She's fine. 380 00:17:23,808 --> 00:17:24,941 Da- No, Dad, she's not. 381 00:17:24,942 --> 00:17:26,677 And you know where she went with Arthur? 382 00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:28,211 To the Velvet Lounge. 383 00:17:28,212 --> 00:17:29,563 Really? 384 00:17:29,564 --> 00:17:32,699 That's where I used to take her when we started dating. Heh. 385 00:17:32,700 --> 00:17:36,136 Yeah. Y-you know, I-I-I- I think you should go to her. 386 00:17:36,137 --> 00:17:38,855 No, I can't. This is judging night. 387 00:17:38,856 --> 00:17:41,158 Uh, this is my year. I'm gonna get that golden caboose. 388 00:17:41,159 --> 00:17:42,676 Dad, would you stop with the trains?! 389 00:17:42,677 --> 00:17:44,194 What? Stop! Enough already! 390 00:17:44,195 --> 00:17:45,679 I mean, Mom was right. 391 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,798 All you care about are these damn trains. 392 00:17:47,799 --> 00:17:49,566 Our whole lives they came first. 393 00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:50,968 That's not true. It is true. 394 00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:52,703 When I was a kid you wouldn't let me touch 'em. 395 00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:54,537 You had your chance, and you blew it. 396 00:17:54,538 --> 00:17:56,940 I was 4. The freight car looked like a candy bar. 397 00:17:56,941 --> 00:17:59,209 Turn the page. Aw. 398 00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:01,011 Come on, Dougie. Even when I got older, Dad, 399 00:18:01,012 --> 00:18:02,329 you said I couldn't play with 'em 400 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:03,781 'cause I didn't have a license. 401 00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:05,683 There were no licenses, were there? 402 00:18:07,769 --> 00:18:10,838 Not at the time, no. It's... 403 00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:13,406 Y- your mother's really unhappy? 404 00:18:19,697 --> 00:18:21,131 You're right. 405 00:18:23,201 --> 00:18:26,352 These trains, they hurt the people I love. 406 00:18:26,353 --> 00:18:28,705 I gotta go find your mother. 407 00:18:28,706 --> 00:18:30,740 Good. I, uh... 408 00:18:30,741 --> 00:18:33,610 I need you to do me a favor, son. 409 00:18:33,611 --> 00:18:34,911 What? 410 00:18:38,749 --> 00:18:41,451 Take the Boston Bullet into the station. 411 00:18:43,421 --> 00:18:44,805 Can do. 412 00:19:21,058 --> 00:19:24,528 Janet. I must say, you move with a silky elegance. 413 00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:27,380 Thank you, Arthur. 414 00:19:29,050 --> 00:19:30,283 You know... 415 00:19:30,284 --> 00:19:32,703 we can stay out as late as you want. 416 00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:36,624 I've adjusted my medications accordingly. 417 00:19:39,894 --> 00:19:41,228 Oh. 418 00:19:44,899 --> 00:19:45,999 Oh, it looks like someone 419 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,703 could use another "martooni. " 420 00:19:49,704 --> 00:19:52,606 Well, maybe just one more. 421 00:20:06,855 --> 00:20:07,854 Joe? 422 00:20:34,432 --> 00:20:37,083 Janet, I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, 423 00:20:37,084 --> 00:20:39,086 but with my love and your alimony... 424 00:20:39,087 --> 00:20:42,155 we can build a life together. 425 00:20:42,156 --> 00:20:43,623 Eh. 426 00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:47,845 All right. 427 00:20:55,836 --> 00:20:57,821 I'm gonna need a receipt for these. 428 00:20:59,740 --> 00:21:02,576 And it's back to the basement. 429 00:21:15,522 --> 00:21:17,891 I told you, my dad had to leave. 430 00:21:17,892 --> 00:21:19,626 They were his trains. 431 00:21:19,627 --> 00:21:21,929 But you said your father had these trains for 30 years. 432 00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:23,430 You never used it once? 433 00:21:23,431 --> 00:21:24,715 He wouldn't let me. 434 00:21:24,716 --> 00:21:26,266 It doesn't add up. 435 00:21:26,267 --> 00:21:28,501 Doesn't add up. 436 00:21:28,502 --> 00:21:30,153 Am I released now? 437 00:21:30,154 --> 00:21:31,421 No. 30101

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