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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,943 --> 00:00:13,645 You got the hiccups. 2 00:00:14,547 --> 00:00:15,831 What gave me away? 3 00:00:16,799 --> 00:00:18,884 The hiccups? 4 00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:20,652 How about I scare you? 5 00:00:20,653 --> 00:00:22,721 Guaranteed to get rid of them. 6 00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:24,890 It's all right, Arthur. I'm fine, thanks. 7 00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:26,724 Okay, suit yourself. 8 00:00:26,725 --> 00:00:28,593 I just thought that- Boo! 9 00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:33,464 Okay, still have the hiccups, 10 00:00:33,465 --> 00:00:35,617 and now there's tuna on me. 11 00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:37,369 Actually it's chicken salad- Boo! 12 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:38,487 Stop! 13 00:00:38,488 --> 00:00:39,688 Boo! Boo! Stop it! Stop! 14 00:00:40,872 --> 00:00:42,074 I'm trying to help! 15 00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:43,458 I don't need your help, all right? 16 00:00:43,459 --> 00:00:45,377 So knock it off! I'm sorry, Douglas. 17 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:46,745 I was merely trying to repay you 18 00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:50,214 for all the kindness you've shown me. 19 00:00:50,215 --> 00:00:53,284 But I clearly, uh, overstepped my bounds. 20 00:00:53,285 --> 00:00:55,170 Believe me, 21 00:00:55,171 --> 00:00:56,120 it won't happen again. 22 00:01:07,249 --> 00:01:08,650 Arthur, look, I just wanted to- 23 00:01:13,255 --> 00:01:15,740 You're welcome. 24 00:01:50,259 --> 00:01:52,243 Well, there you go. 25 00:01:52,244 --> 00:01:56,448 You drink it in, my little meaty-weaty steakie-weakies. 26 00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,049 Yes. 27 00:01:58,050 --> 00:02:00,117 Daddy's gonna give you a nice little bath, 28 00:02:00,118 --> 00:02:02,286 and after your bath, he's gonna cook you 29 00:02:02,287 --> 00:02:03,287 and eat you. 30 00:02:03,288 --> 00:02:05,189 Yes, he is. Yes, he is. 31 00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:06,641 Hey, honey. Hey, there she is. 32 00:02:06,642 --> 00:02:08,192 All right, let's fire up the grill. 33 00:02:08,193 --> 00:02:09,327 Doug- 34 00:02:09,328 --> 00:02:10,212 Okay, now I'm in charge 35 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,446 of steak and potatoes, 36 00:02:11,447 --> 00:02:13,615 so if you want anything green, 37 00:02:13,616 --> 00:02:14,616 that's all you. 38 00:02:14,617 --> 00:02:16,084 Doug, stop. What? 39 00:02:16,085 --> 00:02:18,837 I can't do this tonight. What do you mean? 40 00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:20,004 I got stuck with this report, 41 00:02:20,005 --> 00:02:21,523 and it's due in the morning. 44 00:02:25,611 --> 00:02:27,295 Your idea was just to have meat night, 45 00:02:27,296 --> 00:02:28,963 and that was after I bargained you down 46 00:02:28,964 --> 00:02:30,732 from meat week. 47 00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:33,501 Carrie, this is Kobe steak from Japan. 48 00:02:33,502 --> 00:02:35,002 I've been looking forward to this. 49 00:02:35,003 --> 00:02:37,022 I've rehearsed every chew. I'm ready. 50 00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:37,839 I don't know, honey. 51 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,658 What do you want me to do? I have to work. 52 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:43,495 Well- Why are you bringing work home with you anyway? 53 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,362 It just happened. 54 00:02:44,363 --> 00:02:46,030 We were in a meeting and Ms. Boone asked 55 00:02:46,031 --> 00:02:47,398 if anyone had any suggestions 56 00:02:47,399 --> 00:02:50,252 on how to lower acquisition fees. 57 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:53,004 Don't tell me you said something. 58 00:02:53,005 --> 00:02:55,123 I just said maybe we should research 59 00:02:55,124 --> 00:02:57,709 out-of-state escrow companies. 60 00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:59,327 And then she said, "Great idea, Carrie. 61 00:02:59,328 --> 00:03:01,463 Why don't you take the ball on this one?" 62 00:03:01,464 --> 00:03:03,131 And you took it? 63 00:03:03,132 --> 00:03:04,482 You never take the ball! 64 00:03:04,483 --> 00:03:06,834 The ball's trouble. It's always trouble. 65 00:03:06,835 --> 00:03:09,604 I know, but I had an idea. 66 00:03:09,605 --> 00:03:10,655 You-? You had an idea? 67 00:03:10,656 --> 00:03:12,757 Do you know how many times I've had ideas at work, 68 00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:14,725 ways to improve service, improve safety, 69 00:03:14,726 --> 00:03:15,726 prevent accidents? 70 00:03:15,727 --> 00:03:18,796 But I keep my mouth shut. 71 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,049 Look, how about this: 72 00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:23,651 we let the meat keep marinating, 73 00:03:23,652 --> 00:03:24,919 and we'll have it tomorrow. 74 00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:28,373 Tomorrow? That seems like a million years away. 75 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:33,578 And tomorrow it'll be meat, movie, and me night, hm? 76 00:03:33,579 --> 00:03:36,798 I still get the big steak? 77 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,667 Yes, honey. 78 00:03:38,668 --> 00:03:40,585 Okay, well, what time will you be home? 79 00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:42,770 I'm not sure, but I will call 80 00:03:42,771 --> 00:03:44,138 as soon as I'm on my way, 81 00:03:44,139 --> 00:03:46,424 and that'll be your signal to fire up the grill. 82 00:03:46,425 --> 00:03:47,425 Okay. 83 00:03:47,426 --> 00:03:49,728 Wh-what's the signal again? 84 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,078 When I call, baby. When I call, okay? 85 00:03:51,079 --> 00:03:52,847 I read you. I got it. Yeah. All right. 86 00:03:56,051 --> 00:03:57,919 Hey, you get off of there. Get off of there. 87 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,354 And let that go. You let that go. 88 00:03:59,355 --> 00:04:00,689 Relax, Douglas. Bad! 89 00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:05,076 I was just admiring these two wonderful Kobe steaks. 90 00:04:05,077 --> 00:04:06,444 Where's mine? 91 00:04:06,445 --> 00:04:08,863 Well, if you have one, it's still in Japan. 92 00:04:08,864 --> 00:04:10,532 Always with the quips. 93 00:04:10,533 --> 00:04:12,284 Seriously, is it in the fridge? 94 00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:13,835 No, just these two steaks, Arthur. 95 00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:16,004 Carrie and I were gonna have a special dinner. 96 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:18,623 I see. And what was I supposed to eat? Dog food? 97 00:04:18,624 --> 00:04:21,526 No, lasagna from last night. 98 00:04:21,527 --> 00:04:23,795 Okay, I see how it works around here. 99 00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:26,131 Shove some leftovers down the old man's throat, 100 00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:27,698 then as soon as his back is turned, 101 00:04:27,699 --> 00:04:30,552 out comes the champagne and caviar. 102 00:04:30,553 --> 00:04:31,686 Okay, you know what, Arthur? 103 00:04:31,687 --> 00:04:34,689 It's one dinner. Just relax. I will not relax! 104 00:04:34,690 --> 00:04:38,026 What other luxuries do you and Carrie keep hidden from me? 105 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,227 Nothing. 106 00:04:39,761 --> 00:04:41,329 Ah-ha! 107 00:04:41,330 --> 00:04:44,816 Why don't I have any of this downstairs? 108 00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:46,217 'Cause that's dishwashing liquid, 109 00:04:46,218 --> 00:04:48,036 and you don't have a dishwasher. 110 00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:48,870 Exactly. 111 00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:51,072 Check and mate. 112 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,662 Hey. 113 00:04:57,663 --> 00:04:58,663 Ms. Boone said anything 114 00:04:58,664 --> 00:05:00,048 about your report yet? 115 00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:01,800 No, and she's had it all day. 116 00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,219 Well, that's not necessarily bad. 117 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,470 Of course it's bad. 118 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,055 I know. I tried. 119 00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:08,556 My husband told me not to take the ball. 120 00:05:08,557 --> 00:05:09,957 I should've listened to him. 121 00:05:09,958 --> 00:05:12,694 He's a very wise man. 122 00:05:18,734 --> 00:05:20,335 Well, I'm gonna head out. 123 00:05:20,336 --> 00:05:21,603 I'm meeting some of the girls 124 00:05:21,604 --> 00:05:23,571 at T.G.I. Friday's for Shrimp Fest. 125 00:05:23,572 --> 00:05:24,406 I'll walk out with you. 126 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:25,673 I just gotta call my husband. 127 00:05:25,674 --> 00:05:27,191 And tell him I'm on my way. Okay. 128 00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:35,500 Actually, you know what? 129 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,634 You go ahead. I- 130 00:05:36,635 --> 00:05:38,603 I gotta find out what she thought of my report. 131 00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:39,788 It's gonna drive me nuts. 132 00:05:39,789 --> 00:05:41,438 Okay. Good luck. Thanks. 133 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:47,561 Come in. 134 00:05:48,814 --> 00:05:51,216 Uh, I was just, um, headed out. 135 00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:53,968 Oh, you're joining the girls for Shrimp Fest? 136 00:05:53,969 --> 00:05:55,520 Uh... no. 137 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,389 Actually, I just wanted to, uh, 138 00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:59,307 talk to you about my report. 139 00:05:59,308 --> 00:06:01,609 Oh, yes, your report. Yeah. 140 00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:03,043 Listen, I just think you should know 141 00:06:03,044 --> 00:06:05,379 that, uh, reports are really not my thing, okay? 142 00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,214 But I'm still a heck of a typist, 143 00:06:07,215 --> 00:06:09,383 and I could, uh, file like the wind, 144 00:06:09,384 --> 00:06:10,985 and your personal errands, 145 00:06:10,986 --> 00:06:13,455 my personal errands. 146 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,790 Carrie, your report was excellent. 147 00:06:15,791 --> 00:06:16,957 Really? Yes. 148 00:06:16,958 --> 00:06:19,577 You know, I had a good feeling about it. 149 00:06:19,578 --> 00:06:21,061 Good work, kiddo. 150 00:06:21,062 --> 00:06:23,063 And, you know, any time you have an idea, 151 00:06:23,064 --> 00:06:24,198 I wanna hear it. 152 00:06:24,199 --> 00:06:26,200 I really value your input. 153 00:06:26,635 --> 00:06:28,386 Wow. What? 154 00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:29,704 No, it's just that I've never had 155 00:06:29,705 --> 00:06:33,224 my input valued before. 156 00:06:33,225 --> 00:06:34,408 I'm surprised, 157 00:06:34,409 --> 00:06:36,010 because you're obviously talented, 158 00:06:36,011 --> 00:06:37,478 and you've got a lot of potential. 159 00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:39,814 You know, 160 00:06:39,815 --> 00:06:41,165 some of the partners are coming down 161 00:06:41,166 --> 00:06:43,534 for a conference call with our Chicago branch 162 00:06:43,535 --> 00:06:44,735 in about 20 minutes. 163 00:06:44,736 --> 00:06:46,604 We get a deli spread 164 00:06:46,605 --> 00:06:48,606 and kind of make it a working dinner. 165 00:06:48,607 --> 00:06:50,909 You're welcome to sit in if you like. 166 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,111 Really? Unless you have to get home. 167 00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:54,212 Home? 168 00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:58,366 Um... no. No. No, no. 169 00:06:58,367 --> 00:07:01,469 Call, damn it. 170 00:07:04,106 --> 00:07:06,040 Thank you. Thank you. 171 00:07:06,041 --> 00:07:07,041 Hello? Carrie? 172 00:07:07,042 --> 00:07:08,343 Yeah, listen, honey- 173 00:07:15,851 --> 00:07:18,252 You're going to sleep now. 174 00:07:18,253 --> 00:07:19,253 And when you wake up, 175 00:07:19,254 --> 00:07:22,022 you're gonna be in my tummy. 176 00:07:22,023 --> 00:07:24,325 And so will some of you. 177 00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:29,830 What? 178 00:07:29,831 --> 00:07:31,098 Look, don't hang up. 179 00:07:31,099 --> 00:07:32,333 Is this part of the signal? 180 00:07:32,334 --> 00:07:33,618 No, listen, 181 00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,202 I just found out that I have to work late 182 00:07:35,203 --> 00:07:36,971 again tonight. 183 00:07:36,972 --> 00:07:39,373 No! 184 00:07:41,510 --> 00:07:42,610 Honey, I'm sorry, 185 00:07:42,611 --> 00:07:44,012 but my boss wants me to stay 186 00:07:44,013 --> 00:07:45,964 for an important conference call. 187 00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,549 Carrie, you promised we'd do this tonight together. I- 188 00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:50,718 Can't you just get out of it? 189 00:07:51,420 --> 00:07:53,388 I- I wish I could, but... 190 00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,507 I can't. 191 00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:56,591 What can I say? 192 00:07:56,592 --> 00:07:58,393 I've got another nightmare job, you know? 193 00:07:59,828 --> 00:08:01,262 All right, see you later. 194 00:08:04,215 --> 00:08:08,285 Mine, one-ply. Yours, two-ply. 195 00:08:08,286 --> 00:08:11,990 Where's my second ply? 196 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,192 Arthur, you can have a steak now, okay? You happy? 197 00:08:14,193 --> 00:08:15,710 I'll be happy when I have a roach motel 198 00:08:15,711 --> 00:08:17,645 under my sink too. 199 00:08:23,001 --> 00:08:24,902 All right, well, I already pulled all the comps 200 00:08:24,903 --> 00:08:26,421 for all the properties in the areas. 201 00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:29,207 I just need you to, um, get the tax records, okay? 202 00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:30,508 Oh, you already got them? 203 00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:32,110 Oh, well, you're the best. Thank you. 204 00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:33,478 Listen, I'm sorry I'm so hyper. 205 00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:36,214 It's just my first time as team leader. 206 00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:37,848 Okay, bye-bye. 207 00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:40,218 Team leader. 208 00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:46,808 Yay, honey's home. Honey. 209 00:08:46,809 --> 00:08:48,492 Hi, big guy. Come here. Hey. 210 00:08:48,493 --> 00:08:50,527 Oh, that's the good stuff. 211 00:08:50,528 --> 00:08:52,296 Okay. Sorry I'm late again tonight. 212 00:08:52,297 --> 00:08:54,649 Yeah, it's, like, uh, been every night this week. 213 00:08:54,650 --> 00:08:55,617 Yeah, I know. 214 00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,418 That boss of mine is killing me. 215 00:08:58,487 --> 00:08:59,670 I heard you on the phone there 216 00:08:59,671 --> 00:09:01,873 talking about being team leader. Yeah. 217 00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:04,192 Huh? Oh, yeah, that. Well, you know. 218 00:09:04,193 --> 00:09:05,293 You know how what they say, 219 00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:06,393 crap runs downhill? 220 00:09:06,394 --> 00:09:10,164 Well, meet the bottom of the hill. 221 00:09:10,165 --> 00:09:12,066 Very unhappy about this. Yeah. 222 00:09:12,484 --> 00:09:13,568 I gotta tell you, 223 00:09:13,569 --> 00:09:14,969 on the phone there, 224 00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:17,204 you didn't seem that unhappy. 225 00:09:17,205 --> 00:09:19,440 Oh, well, that's just me putting a good front, 226 00:09:19,441 --> 00:09:20,641 you know, for those idiots, 227 00:09:20,642 --> 00:09:22,009 if I wanna keep my job, you know? 228 00:09:22,010 --> 00:09:23,611 'Cause if we didn't have bills to pay, 229 00:09:23,612 --> 00:09:24,979 pop-pop-pop-pop! 230 00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:27,247 You know what I'm sayin'? All right. Good night, baby. 231 00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:37,909 Ah! 232 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,744 Whoa. 233 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:40,695 Oh. 234 00:09:42,698 --> 00:09:44,465 Whoa. 235 00:09:44,466 --> 00:09:47,201 Yeooh! Yeah! 236 00:09:47,202 --> 00:09:49,120 Oh! You know what? 237 00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:51,055 This game really blows, Spence. 238 00:09:51,056 --> 00:09:52,123 No, it doesn't. 239 00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:54,008 Danny and I were playing in the apartment. 240 00:09:54,009 --> 00:09:55,126 We had a lot of fun, right? 241 00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:56,127 Nah, it blew there too. 242 00:09:58,413 --> 00:09:59,747 Guys, look, 243 00:09:59,748 --> 00:10:01,599 you just gotta give it a chance, get into it. 244 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,217 Ready? Look, high pop fly. Whoo! 245 00:10:07,672 --> 00:10:09,941 You- You guys never wanna try anything new. 246 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,109 You didn't even give Nerf Bowling a chance. 247 00:10:12,110 --> 00:10:13,978 Yeah, sorry if I didn't want to roll a sponge 248 00:10:13,979 --> 00:10:15,679 into 10 other sponges. 249 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:17,014 Why are you in such a bad mood? 250 00:10:17,015 --> 00:10:18,950 Look, I don't wanna talk about it, all right? 251 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,651 You want one of my neck rubs? 252 00:10:22,938 --> 00:10:24,521 You want me to leave? 253 00:10:25,690 --> 00:10:27,491 It's not you guys, all right? It's Carrie. 254 00:10:27,492 --> 00:10:29,360 I mean, she's working late every night. 255 00:10:29,361 --> 00:10:31,879 Acting weird. Sneaking phone calls. 256 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,631 You think she's cheating on you? 257 00:10:33,632 --> 00:10:35,566 No, I don't think she's cheating. I think she... 258 00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:38,753 likes her job. 259 00:10:38,754 --> 00:10:40,471 And what's wrong with that? 260 00:10:40,472 --> 00:10:42,640 It's just not natural. I mean, who likes their job? 261 00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:43,741 I do. 262 00:10:43,742 --> 00:10:44,809 Really? 263 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,577 You like working in a subway token booth? 264 00:10:46,578 --> 00:10:47,762 Yes, I do. Didn't you tell me 265 00:10:47,763 --> 00:10:49,731 someone peed under your door? 266 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,883 Yeah, but it was a girl. 267 00:10:54,603 --> 00:10:56,187 I had a job I loved once. 268 00:10:56,188 --> 00:10:58,489 I was a DJ at a strip club. 269 00:10:58,490 --> 00:11:00,775 If you loved it so much, why aren't you still there? 270 00:11:00,776 --> 00:11:02,560 Ah, apparently some of the strippers 271 00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:05,929 said I was making them feel "uncomfortable. " 272 00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,182 Oh, hey, guys. Hey, where are you going? 273 00:11:09,183 --> 00:11:10,451 I'm going to spinning class. 274 00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,219 I thought you were going to the Mets game. 275 00:11:12,220 --> 00:11:13,721 Oh, it doesn't start till 1:30. 276 00:11:13,722 --> 00:11:15,689 Yeah, there's a ceremony for a peanut vendor 277 00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:17,341 who fell out of the upper deck. 278 00:11:17,342 --> 00:11:18,425 Pretty tough guy, though. 279 00:11:18,426 --> 00:11:21,212 He actually finished his shift. 280 00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:22,346 I'm just gonna go to the gym 281 00:11:22,347 --> 00:11:24,248 and then maybe a little "shop till you drop. " 282 00:11:24,249 --> 00:11:26,484 Charge it. Okay, I'll see you later. 283 00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:28,019 Car? Yeah? 284 00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,804 You look a little lumpy there. 285 00:11:29,805 --> 00:11:32,372 Yeah, that's why I'm going to the gym. 286 00:11:32,373 --> 00:11:34,308 No, what do you got going on under there? 287 00:11:34,309 --> 00:11:35,676 What are you wearing? Stop it. 288 00:11:35,677 --> 00:11:37,711 You friends are here. 289 00:11:37,712 --> 00:11:39,613 Oh, my God, you've got work clothes on. 290 00:11:40,298 --> 00:11:41,615 You're sneaking to work 291 00:11:41,616 --> 00:11:43,617 on a Saturday. 292 00:11:43,618 --> 00:11:45,019 I can't believe you! 293 00:11:45,020 --> 00:11:46,821 Well, I wouldn't have had to sneak around 294 00:11:46,822 --> 00:11:47,989 if you had the decency 295 00:11:47,990 --> 00:11:49,957 to go to that stupid peanut vendor's tribute. 296 00:11:49,958 --> 00:11:52,744 And after all the peanuts you've eaten. 297 00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:55,246 Look, Doug, the only reason I was doing that 298 00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:56,614 is because you've been so upset 299 00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:57,715 that I had to work so much. 300 00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:58,983 I didn't wanna upset you more. 301 00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:00,517 That right? Yeah, but if my boss says 302 00:12:00,518 --> 00:12:02,002 I have to go to work on a Saturday, 303 00:12:02,003 --> 00:12:03,137 I have to go. Okay, 304 00:12:03,138 --> 00:12:04,154 you didn't have to work. 305 00:12:04,155 --> 00:12:05,690 You wanted to work. Admit it. 306 00:12:05,691 --> 00:12:08,392 You love your job. 307 00:12:08,393 --> 00:12:11,596 Okay, yes, yes, I love my job. 308 00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:13,347 I knew it! 309 00:12:13,348 --> 00:12:15,349 I love the people, I love how I'm treated, 310 00:12:15,350 --> 00:12:16,884 I love that I'm on the coffee list. 311 00:12:16,885 --> 00:12:19,487 I love everything about it. 312 00:12:19,488 --> 00:12:21,272 I don't even know you. 313 00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:22,906 Why do I have to defend myself? 314 00:12:22,907 --> 00:12:24,441 I mean, I should apologize 315 00:12:24,442 --> 00:12:25,676 for being happy at work? 316 00:12:25,677 --> 00:12:27,145 Yes, 'cause while you're at work, 317 00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:28,746 I'm stuck here with your father, 318 00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:30,464 who by the way is now demanding a diaphragm 319 00:12:30,465 --> 00:12:33,417 for his nightstand. 320 00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:36,270 Look, I know I've been neglecting you, 321 00:12:36,271 --> 00:12:37,471 and I feel bad, 322 00:12:37,472 --> 00:12:39,674 but we're talking about my career here. 323 00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:41,892 Career? Ooh. 324 00:12:41,893 --> 00:12:43,560 Somebody's got a career now. 325 00:12:43,561 --> 00:12:47,464 Oh, Her Majesty the Queen has a career. 326 00:12:47,465 --> 00:12:50,517 Queens don't have careers, moron. 327 00:12:50,518 --> 00:12:51,785 And you know what? 328 00:12:51,786 --> 00:12:53,787 It would be nice if you could stop for one second 329 00:12:53,788 --> 00:12:55,473 and think about me here. 330 00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:56,440 But I guess that's just not 331 00:12:56,441 --> 00:12:58,175 a Doug Heffernan thing, is it? 332 00:13:00,178 --> 00:13:01,912 So apparently my tartar 333 00:13:01,913 --> 00:13:05,015 doesn't need to be controlled. 334 00:13:09,003 --> 00:13:12,039 For your information, I was thinking of you. 335 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,125 Oh, really? How ya figure? 336 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,376 I just didn't want you to get hurt. 337 00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:16,377 You know what they say: 338 00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:19,247 Goals plus time equals heartbreak. 339 00:13:19,248 --> 00:13:20,965 How would you know anything about goals? 340 00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,149 I do, okay? Look- You know- 341 00:13:22,150 --> 00:13:23,851 You don't think I could've had a career? 342 00:13:23,852 --> 00:13:25,686 I decided not to. And you know why? Why? 343 00:13:25,687 --> 00:13:27,488 Because I thought it was more important 344 00:13:27,489 --> 00:13:28,789 to work on this. 345 00:13:30,259 --> 00:13:32,442 Getting fatter? 346 00:13:33,144 --> 00:13:35,662 No, our relationship. 347 00:13:35,663 --> 00:13:39,233 Well, you've clearly done a bang-up job on that. 348 00:13:39,234 --> 00:13:40,568 Oh, okay, you know what? That's it. 349 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,737 All bets are off. What is that supposed to mean? 350 00:13:42,738 --> 00:13:43,938 I'll tell you what it means. 351 00:13:43,939 --> 00:13:45,106 I'll stop working on this 352 00:13:45,107 --> 00:13:46,473 and start working on my career. 353 00:13:46,474 --> 00:13:48,192 That's right, my career. 354 00:13:48,193 --> 00:13:50,494 Getting that big promotion, moving up, 355 00:13:50,495 --> 00:13:51,362 making the big bucks. 356 00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:53,164 How would you like that, huh? 357 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,348 I would love that. 358 00:13:55,650 --> 00:13:58,336 Oh, it's on, baby. 359 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,454 It's on! 360 00:14:07,529 --> 00:14:09,897 Sir, you-? You got a moment? Yeah, I know, Heffernan. 361 00:14:09,898 --> 00:14:13,034 The machine's out of Milk Duds. A guy's coming tomorrow. 362 00:14:13,035 --> 00:14:15,803 It's not, uh... It's actually not about that. 363 00:14:15,804 --> 00:14:18,139 It's not? What is it, then? 364 00:14:22,311 --> 00:14:24,027 Where is Doug Heffernan... 365 00:14:25,964 --> 00:14:28,449 going? 366 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,284 You're going to, uh... 367 00:14:30,285 --> 00:14:32,236 Brooklyn. 368 00:14:32,237 --> 00:14:33,671 No, I meant in my career. 369 00:14:33,672 --> 00:14:35,906 You know, I've been here like 10 years, 370 00:14:35,907 --> 00:14:38,709 and I just I think I deserve the chance to- 371 00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:40,494 To move up. 372 00:14:40,495 --> 00:14:41,628 Heffernan, last week I asked 373 00:14:41,629 --> 00:14:44,631 if anybody wanted to apply for assistant supervisor, 374 00:14:44,632 --> 00:14:47,334 I believe that your response was, uh... 375 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,505 You gotta- You gotta relax your lower lip. 376 00:14:51,506 --> 00:14:52,506 It's, uh... 377 00:14:54,575 --> 00:14:57,645 Doug, just- Just go get on your route, huh? 378 00:14:57,646 --> 00:14:59,046 Look, sir, I'm gonna level with you. 379 00:14:59,047 --> 00:15:02,316 I'm gonna need you to give me some kind of promotion here. 380 00:15:02,317 --> 00:15:03,484 Why? 381 00:15:04,585 --> 00:15:06,086 I had a big fight with my wife 382 00:15:06,087 --> 00:15:07,421 about her moving up in her job 383 00:15:07,422 --> 00:15:09,106 and I told her that I could too. 384 00:15:09,107 --> 00:15:13,244 Oh, you really painted yourself into a corner on that one. 385 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:14,295 It doesn't even have to be big. 386 00:15:14,296 --> 00:15:15,696 Just something I could take home 387 00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:19,417 and, you know, use to make her feel like crap. 388 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:22,036 Let me see. 389 00:15:22,037 --> 00:15:24,004 Oh, well, you know, 390 00:15:24,005 --> 00:15:26,257 the union says 391 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:27,491 gotta get somebody to organize 392 00:15:27,492 --> 00:15:28,892 the CPR and a safety program. 393 00:15:28,893 --> 00:15:31,429 See, that would be great. 394 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,714 Can it have a title? 395 00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,916 Uh, uh, uh, how about safety monitor? 396 00:15:37,052 --> 00:15:39,804 How about safety chief? 397 00:15:39,805 --> 00:15:41,255 How about you get your ass in your truck, 398 00:15:41,256 --> 00:15:42,456 'cause I'm sick of your face? 399 00:15:45,009 --> 00:15:47,460 Safety chief. 400 00:15:51,316 --> 00:15:53,284 Okay, tilt head back 401 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:56,320 and begin chest compressions. 402 00:15:58,323 --> 00:16:01,525 Damn it, Alvarez, don't you die on me. 403 00:16:03,995 --> 00:16:08,265 Oh, sure, there's no sex doll for me, is there? 404 00:16:08,266 --> 00:16:09,900 Okay, Arthur, it's a CPR dummy. 405 00:16:09,901 --> 00:16:11,252 You don't fool me. 406 00:16:11,253 --> 00:16:12,386 Look at that lifelike skin, 407 00:16:12,387 --> 00:16:14,922 those full, pouting lips. 408 00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:18,292 Look, uh, Carrie's not home yet, 409 00:16:18,293 --> 00:16:20,144 so I sent out for Chinese. 410 00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:20,895 Don't need it. 411 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:21,896 I'll be enjoying 412 00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:24,932 a delicious Kobe steak, 413 00:16:24,933 --> 00:16:27,768 one that you're not getting a bite of. 414 00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,603 Okay, you know what? That's not Kobe steak. 415 00:16:29,604 --> 00:16:32,839 Read the label, you illiterate baboon. 416 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:36,426 One hundred percent Kobe beef. 417 00:16:36,427 --> 00:16:38,796 Okay, you wrote that with a ballpoint pen. 418 00:16:40,231 --> 00:16:42,033 And you misspelled "beef. " 419 00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:43,350 You're still not getting any. 420 00:16:48,723 --> 00:16:51,158 Hey, did I come home a little early? 421 00:16:51,159 --> 00:16:52,476 No, I was just getting up to speed 422 00:16:52,477 --> 00:16:54,295 on my new I.P.S. position, 423 00:16:54,296 --> 00:16:55,495 safety chief. 424 00:16:55,496 --> 00:16:58,766 That's right, safety chief. 425 00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,934 Really? Yep. 426 00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:01,218 I'm in charge of everything safety 427 00:17:01,219 --> 00:17:02,219 and first-aid related. 428 00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:05,056 All urine testing goes through me. 429 00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:06,891 All? Wow. 430 00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:08,074 "Wow" is right. 431 00:17:08,075 --> 00:17:09,876 I've been trying to get ahead for like a day 432 00:17:09,877 --> 00:17:10,977 and already I got this. 433 00:17:10,978 --> 00:17:13,547 I'm gonna leave you in the dust. 434 00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:16,616 Look, Doug, I know you only did this 435 00:17:16,617 --> 00:17:18,285 out of spite toward me. 436 00:17:18,286 --> 00:17:19,920 But whatever the reason, I'm really happy 437 00:17:19,921 --> 00:17:21,422 you're trying to better yourself. 438 00:17:21,423 --> 00:17:22,907 I just hope you keep it up. 439 00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:29,763 Kids, I was cutting the gristle from my Kobe steak, 440 00:17:29,764 --> 00:17:32,299 and I seem to have cut my thumb quite badly. 441 00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:33,501 Oh, Dad, let me take a look- 442 00:17:33,502 --> 00:17:35,886 Whoa, whoa, I will handle it. I'm safety chief. 443 00:17:35,887 --> 00:17:37,104 Come on, Arthur. Come on, Doug- 444 00:17:37,105 --> 00:17:38,922 Fine. 445 00:17:40,325 --> 00:17:42,927 Okay, work this right out right now. 446 00:17:42,928 --> 00:17:44,295 Let me see here. 447 00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:47,197 "Burns, choking, lacerations. " 448 00:17:47,198 --> 00:17:49,350 Where's cuts? 449 00:17:49,351 --> 00:17:51,685 "Lacerations" is cuts. Hey. 450 00:17:51,686 --> 00:17:54,021 Handling it. 451 00:17:54,022 --> 00:17:56,190 Got it. 452 00:17:57,859 --> 00:17:59,976 Okay, here we go. 453 00:18:03,331 --> 00:18:05,983 What are you planning on doing, Douglas? 454 00:18:07,769 --> 00:18:09,503 Okay, uh, let's see here. 455 00:18:09,504 --> 00:18:13,507 It says to apply bandage as shown. 456 00:18:13,508 --> 00:18:14,775 Okay. You have to disinfect it 457 00:18:14,776 --> 00:18:16,594 before you put the bandage on. Hey. 458 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:18,879 Don't you have a team to lead somewhere? 459 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,881 Ow, you're making it bigger! 460 00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,249 Would you-? Relax, okay? 461 00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:23,350 I'm just gonna get my tape. 462 00:18:23,351 --> 00:18:25,603 Just hold that right there, would you? 463 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:26,620 If I don't make it, 464 00:18:26,621 --> 00:18:28,655 the box under my bed belongs to a friend. 465 00:18:28,656 --> 00:18:29,656 I swear. 466 00:18:30,925 --> 00:18:32,293 All right, enough of this. 467 00:18:32,294 --> 00:18:33,694 No, I got it. Okay. 468 00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:36,730 I will handle it. Ah, crap. 469 00:18:38,166 --> 00:18:39,466 That's the wrong stuff, okay? 470 00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:40,668 It's the right stuff. 471 00:18:40,669 --> 00:18:42,670 Okay, if it's the right stuff give me some then, 472 00:18:42,671 --> 00:18:44,488 'cause I need a little over here. 473 00:18:48,343 --> 00:18:50,010 Hey. 474 00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:54,414 Look, I'm sorry I stepped in down there, 475 00:18:54,415 --> 00:18:55,916 but it's just- I didn't want my dad 476 00:18:55,917 --> 00:18:59,920 to, you know, bleed to death. 477 00:18:59,921 --> 00:19:03,557 But that doesn't mean you're not still safety chief. 478 00:19:03,558 --> 00:19:05,342 I'm no safety chief. 479 00:19:05,343 --> 00:19:06,993 They wouldn't have given you that badge 480 00:19:06,994 --> 00:19:08,596 if you weren't up to the job. 481 00:19:08,597 --> 00:19:10,080 They didn't give it to me, all right? 482 00:19:10,081 --> 00:19:12,983 I had it made at a Kinko's. 483 00:19:12,984 --> 00:19:14,201 All right, what can I do 484 00:19:14,202 --> 00:19:16,403 to get things back to the way they were? 485 00:19:16,404 --> 00:19:18,772 Hate your job. 486 00:19:18,773 --> 00:19:21,392 Honey, I want to, but I just don't. 487 00:19:21,393 --> 00:19:23,694 Why does this bother you so much? 488 00:19:23,695 --> 00:19:25,996 It's just we've always been people who work 489 00:19:25,997 --> 00:19:27,414 'cause we had to work. 490 00:19:27,415 --> 00:19:29,400 You know, we gave 40 hours a week to the Man 491 00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:32,536 so we could spend the other 40 hours here, home, together. 492 00:19:33,938 --> 00:19:36,373 Doug, a week has more than- 493 00:19:37,108 --> 00:19:38,342 Never mind. 494 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,227 Doug, just because I love my job 495 00:19:40,228 --> 00:19:43,047 doesn't mean I don't love my time here with you. 496 00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:44,581 Yeah, but... 497 00:19:44,582 --> 00:19:46,850 when you come home from a job you hate, 498 00:19:46,851 --> 00:19:48,468 being with me is like a step up, you know? 499 00:19:48,469 --> 00:19:50,721 Now when you come home you're like, "Hey, I'm home. 500 00:19:50,722 --> 00:19:52,773 Oh, that's right. This place sucks. " 501 00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:54,457 Come on, that's crazy. Whatever. 502 00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:55,809 It's not your problem, you know. 503 00:19:55,810 --> 00:19:57,478 I'll have to get used to you coming home 504 00:19:57,479 --> 00:20:01,398 all happy and fulfilled and on the coffee list. 505 00:20:01,399 --> 00:20:03,466 Doug, you're overreacting. 506 00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:05,903 I'll always love coming home to you. 507 00:20:05,904 --> 00:20:08,105 And besides, being on the coffee list is no treat. 508 00:20:08,106 --> 00:20:10,173 They go to this really fancy Italian restaurant 509 00:20:10,174 --> 00:20:11,825 where the coffee's really bitter. 510 00:20:11,826 --> 00:20:14,712 Really? I mean, the coffee's bad? 511 00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:16,046 Yeah, really bad. 512 00:20:16,047 --> 00:20:17,164 Wow. 513 00:20:17,165 --> 00:20:18,932 I mean, coffee's the first thing you have 514 00:20:18,933 --> 00:20:20,567 in the morning, so if that's bad, 515 00:20:20,568 --> 00:20:23,670 that gets your day off to a crappy start, huh? 516 00:20:24,238 --> 00:20:25,889 Yes, yes, 517 00:20:25,890 --> 00:20:28,425 a really crappy start. 518 00:20:28,426 --> 00:20:31,061 That is too bad. Yeah, it's the worst. 519 00:20:31,062 --> 00:20:32,312 What else you got? 520 00:20:32,313 --> 00:20:33,380 Um... 521 00:20:34,648 --> 00:20:37,650 Oh, one of the drawers on my desk sticks, 522 00:20:37,651 --> 00:20:38,651 so I gotta yank on it, 523 00:20:38,652 --> 00:20:40,321 and then the whole thing comes out. 524 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:43,657 Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 525 00:20:43,658 --> 00:20:46,560 Oh, and then they hired this new guy. Really sleazy. 526 00:20:46,561 --> 00:20:49,163 He is always rubbing up against me in the copy room. 527 00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:51,131 That's awesome. Yeah. 528 00:20:53,601 --> 00:20:55,169 Listen, you're not just saying this 529 00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:56,670 to make me feel better, are you? 530 00:20:56,671 --> 00:20:59,606 No, no, I mean, the guy is- Is a total perv. 531 00:20:59,607 --> 00:21:00,840 His hands are all over me. 532 00:21:00,841 --> 00:21:04,595 It makes me feel dirty and cheap and violated. 533 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,813 I love you. 534 00:21:29,687 --> 00:21:32,239 Ahh! 535 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,274 Works every time. 37179

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