All language subtitles for The King of Queens (1998) - S08E19 - Emotional Rollercoaster (1080p BluRay x265 RCVR).eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,550 --> 00:00:34,633 Happy 40th, Douglas. 2 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,635 Oh, wow. Hey. 3 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,987 Here we go. 4 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:42,960 "Welcome to stereo." 5 00:00:43,014 --> 00:00:44,548 It's marvelous. 6 00:00:44,573 --> 00:00:46,826 You hear a bowling ball rolling in one speaker 7 00:00:46,857 --> 00:00:49,132 and the pins falling down in the other. 8 00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:53,769 I think we've found our new make-out album. 9 00:00:56,672 --> 00:00:59,007 Ok, this one's from Danny. 10 00:00:59,075 --> 00:01:00,209 Ok. 11 00:01:00,276 --> 00:01:02,160 Yeah, I couldn't figure out what to get you. 12 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:04,713 Then I walked by lazy Eddie's. 13 00:01:06,749 --> 00:01:08,650 The grasper? 14 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,902 Yeah. You use it to pick up stuff. 15 00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:14,289 And the first part of my body has been replaced. 16 00:01:15,692 --> 00:01:17,159 Oh! 17 00:01:17,226 --> 00:01:19,561 Yeah, that's great. 18 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,731 Reaching was the only cardio he had left. 19 00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:29,538 Oh, you can just put those in the sink. Thanks. 20 00:01:29,605 --> 00:01:30,939 Ok. 21 00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:33,625 So has Doug been freaking out about turning 40? 22 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:35,327 No. He's doing fine. 23 00:01:35,394 --> 00:01:39,264 Oh. My husband Matt totally went to pieces. 24 00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:40,615 Really? 25 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:41,934 Yeah. It was rough for a while, 26 00:01:42,085 --> 00:01:44,853 but it ended up being just the kick in the pants he needed. 27 00:01:44,921 --> 00:01:48,189 He got back into shape. He started his own business. 28 00:01:48,257 --> 00:01:51,360 Oh. And he's taking me to Paris next month. 29 00:01:52,762 --> 00:01:54,295 Huh. 30 00:02:00,904 --> 00:02:03,104 Hey, uh, do you have any marshmallows? 31 00:02:03,172 --> 00:02:06,174 Doug wants to see if he can catch 'em with the grasper. 32 00:02:06,242 --> 00:02:07,976 Upper right cabinet. Ok. 33 00:02:08,043 --> 00:02:11,212 But don't use 'em all, 'cause that's how I give him his Lipitor. 34 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,214 Hey, Deac, uh, 35 00:02:13,282 --> 00:02:15,884 Doug's taking 40 in stride, huh? 36 00:02:15,952 --> 00:02:17,502 Oh, yeah. 37 00:02:17,570 --> 00:02:19,687 'Cause I know some guys this age, they start freaking out. 38 00:02:19,755 --> 00:02:21,924 They start wondering, "am I happy where I am? 39 00:02:21,991 --> 00:02:25,660 "Is this all there is?" Why isn't he freaking out? 40 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:26,744 I don't know. 41 00:02:26,812 --> 00:02:29,047 'Cause, I mean, he should be. Shouldn't he? 42 00:02:29,114 --> 00:02:31,967 He can't be happy with where he is in his life. 43 00:02:32,035 --> 00:02:35,637 Going to work in short pants and lugging around packages to people. 44 00:02:35,704 --> 00:02:38,640 Uh-huh. You know I do the same thing. 45 00:02:43,112 --> 00:02:44,212 Yes. 46 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:46,414 But you are not 40. 47 00:02:46,482 --> 00:02:48,951 I turn 39 next month. 48 00:02:49,018 --> 00:02:49,868 Really? Yeah. 49 00:02:49,935 --> 00:02:51,453 Well, you look super. 50 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,056 Thanks. Maybe he does have some stuff going on. 51 00:02:54,123 --> 00:02:56,758 It's probably just all bottled up inside. 52 00:03:06,803 --> 00:03:08,236 Deep inside. 53 00:03:08,304 --> 00:03:10,672 Mm-hmm. 54 00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:15,610 Well, Happy Birthday, baby. 55 00:03:15,678 --> 00:03:17,712 Thanks. 56 00:03:17,730 --> 00:03:19,081 Mmm! 57 00:03:19,149 --> 00:03:21,984 Oh! You don't know what you're getting yourself into. 58 00:03:22,051 --> 00:03:25,069 I just had a handful of these sexy pills 59 00:03:25,137 --> 00:03:26,988 that Spence gave me. 60 00:03:27,056 --> 00:03:29,590 And, uh-whoa. It's kicking in. 61 00:03:31,727 --> 00:03:34,896 That's cute, baby. That's cute. 62 00:03:34,998 --> 00:03:36,198 So are things all good? 63 00:03:36,266 --> 00:03:37,266 Yeah. Why? 64 00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:39,268 Well, just that it is the big 4-0. 65 00:03:39,335 --> 00:03:41,603 And I know a lot of guys when they get this age, 66 00:03:41,671 --> 00:03:44,173 they start having some regrets. 67 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,240 What about? 68 00:03:45,307 --> 00:03:47,442 Oh, about, uh... you know, 69 00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:49,010 your life, 70 00:03:49,078 --> 00:03:52,280 your job, things you wish you'd done. 71 00:03:52,348 --> 00:03:54,216 Actually, now that you say it, 72 00:03:54,284 --> 00:03:56,985 I kind of wish I called in sick today. 73 00:03:57,053 --> 00:03:58,803 Come on. I'm trying to talk to you here. 74 00:03:58,871 --> 00:04:01,306 You're really worried about me, aren't you? 75 00:04:01,357 --> 00:04:04,693 Yes. So if there's anything you wanna talk about or work on, 76 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,661 I am here for you. 77 00:04:06,729 --> 00:04:10,249 Carrie, I am happy. I don't have a single regret. 78 00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,551 I mean, I've accomplished more in my life 79 00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:15,854 than I'd ever thought possible. 80 00:04:19,475 --> 00:04:21,009 Well... 81 00:04:21,077 --> 00:04:22,277 Good. 82 00:04:27,950 --> 00:04:29,634 Morning. 83 00:04:29,702 --> 00:04:32,237 Hey. I was thinking about what you said last night. 84 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:34,473 "Is there anything I wish I had done?" 85 00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:35,924 And I thought of something. 86 00:04:35,991 --> 00:04:37,692 Really? What is it? 87 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,812 I wanna ride goliath. 88 00:04:40,879 --> 00:04:43,081 What's that? 89 00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:45,250 It's this huge roller coaster at thrill Mountain. 90 00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:47,285 When it first opened up, my dad and I, we went there, 91 00:04:47,353 --> 00:04:49,354 and we waited on line for like 2 and a half hours. 92 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:52,390 When I finally got to the front, I don't know what ha- 93 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,759 I just got scared and I ran off. 94 00:04:54,827 --> 00:04:56,495 I can't do it. 95 00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:59,897 Oh, for Pete's sake, this 10-year-old kid's going on a third time. 96 00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:02,300 I'll be in captain Jack's fish yard. 97 00:05:06,271 --> 00:05:08,206 Not a day goes by 98 00:05:08,273 --> 00:05:10,942 that I don't regret my decision to get out of that line. 99 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,762 That's a lot to live with, hon. 100 00:05:13,763 --> 00:05:15,496 Yeah. So I'm thinking Saturday. 101 00:05:15,598 --> 00:05:17,365 Yeah. Saturday. I got to go to work. 102 00:05:17,433 --> 00:05:19,401 Wait a second. You got a little lint. Little lint. 103 00:05:19,468 --> 00:05:20,635 Ok, stop it. 104 00:05:20,770 --> 00:05:22,887 It's mine now. Hey, it's grasper! 105 00:05:22,939 --> 00:05:24,306 Yeah. Ok. Good. 106 00:05:24,374 --> 00:05:28,010 Come on. I need that for the drive-through. 107 00:05:34,150 --> 00:05:36,084 I wanted to tell you 108 00:05:36,152 --> 00:05:38,086 you should probably give Carrie a little extra space 109 00:05:38,154 --> 00:05:39,654 these next couple of days. 110 00:05:39,722 --> 00:05:41,289 What are you talking about? 111 00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,141 I was talking to her at your birthday yesterday, 112 00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:46,611 and I think she kind of wishes you wanted more out of life, 113 00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:50,515 because you haven't amounted to very much. 114 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,368 She... she wants me to have a midlife crisis? 115 00:05:53,502 --> 00:05:55,737 Pretty much. You ready to go? 116 00:05:55,838 --> 00:05:58,273 She's just trying to get me to improve myself 117 00:05:58,341 --> 00:06:00,609 to get a better life for her. 118 00:06:00,676 --> 00:06:02,277 She's unbelievable. 119 00:06:02,344 --> 00:06:04,079 Actually, she kind of got me thinking. 120 00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:06,481 I'm gonna apply for that I.P.S. Management program. 121 00:06:06,548 --> 00:06:07,882 Why don't you do it with me? 122 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:11,569 Why don't you sack up and fight the power, Nancy? 123 00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:14,172 All I'm saying is this thing ain't going away. 124 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,774 I'll deal with it, believe me. 125 00:06:15,841 --> 00:06:18,059 She wants a crisis, I'll whip something up. Shut the door. 126 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,420 Doug, what are you doing? 127 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:48,156 Nothing. Go back to sleep. 128 00:06:48,224 --> 00:06:49,040 Ok. 129 00:06:53,896 --> 00:06:56,097 H- h-hate myself! 130 00:07:00,502 --> 00:07:02,937 Are you ok? 131 00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:05,106 Yeah. I'm great. 132 00:07:05,157 --> 00:07:06,924 I'm 40 years old and what have I done in my life really? 133 00:07:06,992 --> 00:07:08,993 Where am I going with my life? What am I doing? 134 00:07:09,045 --> 00:07:12,280 What are you talking about? You said you were ok with being 40. 135 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:15,417 Yeah. The nile ain't just a river in Spain, Carrie. 136 00:07:20,122 --> 00:07:21,422 I just... 137 00:07:21,490 --> 00:07:24,292 I thought a lot about what you said the other night. 138 00:07:24,359 --> 00:07:26,061 I don't know. 139 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,296 What is this? 140 00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:31,349 I was making a list of my accomplishments. 141 00:07:31,401 --> 00:07:34,502 Oh, well, there's something on here. Let's see what it says. 142 00:07:34,570 --> 00:07:36,271 "Get butterfingers." 143 00:07:45,181 --> 00:07:47,848 That was... That was for me. 144 00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:50,968 Oh, baby, come on. 145 00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:53,855 My... my God, you're soaked. 146 00:07:53,923 --> 00:07:56,491 Great. Now I'm a failure and I can't control my sweat glands. 147 00:07:56,558 --> 00:07:58,659 You are not a failure, ok? 148 00:07:58,727 --> 00:08:01,296 You are a very smart, talented guy 149 00:08:01,363 --> 00:08:04,015 who could do anything he puts his mind to. 150 00:08:04,082 --> 00:08:05,350 Do you really believe that? 151 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:06,568 Yes. 152 00:08:06,635 --> 00:08:09,404 Well, all I wanna do is just... 153 00:08:09,472 --> 00:08:11,306 I wanna give you a better life. 154 00:08:11,373 --> 00:08:13,675 And I want a better life. 155 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,928 I wanna buy you a bigger house. 156 00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:19,530 I wanna take you around the world and give you the best of everything. 157 00:08:19,598 --> 00:08:20,865 Yes, honey! Ok! 158 00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:23,368 You know what? Starting right now. 159 00:08:23,435 --> 00:08:24,853 Oh, my God. What are you gonna do? 160 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,487 I'm quitting my job. 161 00:08:26,555 --> 00:08:28,890 Wha-what? You're quitting your job? 162 00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:32,544 If I'm gonna make it to the top, I can't think like a donkey. 163 00:08:32,611 --> 00:08:35,146 I need time to plan my course. 164 00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,264 Ok. How much time? 165 00:08:36,331 --> 00:08:37,598 6 months, a year. 166 00:08:37,666 --> 00:08:40,034 You cannot put a clock on greatness. 167 00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:43,305 How much a Lasik surgeon pull down, you think? 168 00:08:43,372 --> 00:08:45,190 Ok, you know what? Let's slow down here. 169 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:47,158 You don't believe in me then. You don't. 170 00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:49,994 I do. I do. I'm just thinking out loud. 171 00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:52,613 It's just that now I think... You know what? 172 00:08:52,681 --> 00:08:56,151 Our life is great just the way it is. 173 00:08:56,218 --> 00:08:57,885 So you want me not to quit my job 174 00:08:57,953 --> 00:09:00,522 and everything just stay the same the way it is 175 00:09:00,590 --> 00:09:03,024 and not change the Major parts of my life. 176 00:09:03,092 --> 00:09:04,959 No. Not right now. 177 00:09:06,262 --> 00:09:09,964 What-whatever my baby wants. 178 00:09:18,575 --> 00:09:20,693 $42 to get in. 179 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,528 I remember when you could ride the roller coaster for 10 cents, 180 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,530 and it'd take you anywhere in the city. 181 00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,800 Arthur, I think that's the subway. 182 00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,434 What happened to Carrie? 183 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,804 Oh, she's over there getting a cobra tattoo. 184 00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:33,405 Thought it'd be hot. 185 00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:35,407 How'd you get her to do that? 186 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,542 I just threatened to cry and become a carpenter. 187 00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:40,045 Wow. You're really milking this whole midlife crisis thing, huh? 188 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,581 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Now I'm happy. She's happy. 189 00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:44,633 Listen. By the way, if it comes up, 190 00:09:44,701 --> 00:09:46,718 I threw Carrie a little bone. 191 00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:50,255 I told her O'Boyle was recommending me for that boss school. 192 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:51,439 The management training program. 193 00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:53,826 Whatever. Point is, Tuesday nights from 7:00 to 9:00, 194 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:55,494 I'm not at the movies. 195 00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:56,695 Huh? 196 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,380 Hey. 197 00:09:58,448 --> 00:10:00,766 This thing does come off, right? 198 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,669 I hope not, 'cause I couldn't want you more. 199 00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:05,170 All right, so what's the plan? 200 00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,506 Well, Danny and I are gonna hit the haunted castle. 201 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,775 Yeah. Scared chicks are very approachable. 202 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,977 And I'm taking Major to the kids zone. 203 00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:14,646 Oh, ok. So we'll just meet back here at 2:00. 204 00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,515 All right? Sounds good. 205 00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:20,318 Wait a minute. 206 00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:21,720 Who's gonna take my dad? 207 00:10:21,738 --> 00:10:23,038 I don't need a caretaker. 208 00:10:23,106 --> 00:10:25,040 Just point me in the direction of the bearded lady, 209 00:10:25,108 --> 00:10:26,508 and I'll be on my way. 210 00:10:26,576 --> 00:10:29,044 Dad, I don't want you off on your own. 211 00:10:29,112 --> 00:10:31,046 Maybe we should just take him with us. 212 00:10:31,114 --> 00:10:32,614 He can't get on the roller coaster. 213 00:10:32,682 --> 00:10:34,616 He's got bladder issues, and he unlatches the safety bar. 214 00:10:34,684 --> 00:10:36,351 Deac. 215 00:10:36,419 --> 00:10:39,621 Oh, well, we're going on the merry-go-round. I'm sure Arthur- 216 00:10:39,689 --> 00:10:41,423 I love the merry-go-round. 217 00:10:43,025 --> 00:10:46,895 Well, great. Have fun, and don't let him have any chocolate. 218 00:10:46,963 --> 00:10:49,364 Ok? Bye. 219 00:10:49,432 --> 00:10:54,085 Come on, Major. Did you know, as a young man, I worked as a carny? 220 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:59,558 One day, I had to hold a man's severed leg for five hours. 221 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,603 Come on. 222 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:15,207 Buddy, settle down. 223 00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:17,443 Why is the line so long? 224 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,928 Get used to it. Life is one long line. 225 00:11:19,996 --> 00:11:22,631 Except at the end of it, there ain't no merry-go-round. 226 00:11:22,698 --> 00:11:24,516 Do you mind, Arthur? 227 00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:27,886 Look, partner, why don't we get on something that's not so long? 228 00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:29,905 Like the hall of nutrition. 229 00:11:29,973 --> 00:11:31,523 No. I wanna go on the horses. 230 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,677 What would you say if I told you 231 00:11:35,745 --> 00:11:38,180 I could get the three of us to the front of this line 232 00:11:38,248 --> 00:11:40,915 and every other line in this park? 233 00:11:40,983 --> 00:11:42,167 Hmm? 234 00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:54,113 What are you looking at? 235 00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:56,314 You don't like seeing a man in a wheelchair? 236 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,133 Then don't send me to Korea. 237 00:11:58,201 --> 00:11:59,868 You're welcome for your freedom. 238 00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,470 Right this way, sir. 239 00:12:05,107 --> 00:12:06,991 Great call on the bird show. 240 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:09,060 They said that's where all the chicks would be. 241 00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:11,062 Yeah. Real chicks in a nest. 242 00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:13,465 Ok. Now we know. 243 00:12:19,088 --> 00:12:21,456 Hi. Can I have a cherry ice? 244 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,596 Oh, hello, miss. 245 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:30,015 How Berry nice to see you. 246 00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:35,187 Ah. God, this all looks so good. 247 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,290 You know what? Surprise me. 248 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,692 But, um, nothing with peanuts, 249 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,262 or my head will blow up bigger than yours. 250 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:52,137 I think the, uh, ice cream cone kind of digs me. 251 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:53,205 What? 252 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,773 Yeah. You see the way she touched my arm? 253 00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:57,276 There's a definite vibe between us. 254 00:12:57,344 --> 00:13:00,011 You're gettin' a vibe from a giant ice cream cone? 255 00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:02,047 Shh, shh. Here she comes. 256 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:04,817 Oh! 257 00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:07,636 Choco crunch. How did you know that was my favorite? 258 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:18,613 Well, thank you very much. 259 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:39,067 Welcome to goliath, 260 00:13:39,135 --> 00:13:42,904 145 seconds of white-knuckle fury. 261 00:13:42,972 --> 00:13:47,342 Please secure all sunglasses, cell phones 262 00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,711 and cameras. 263 00:13:49,778 --> 00:13:51,179 Enjoy the ride. 264 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:56,050 You know, I thought I'd be nervous when I saw it again. 265 00:13:56,119 --> 00:13:58,553 But I guess when you're 25 years old, 266 00:13:58,621 --> 00:14:00,222 the whole world looks bigger. 267 00:14:00,289 --> 00:14:02,957 That's right, baby. 268 00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:06,961 Hey, if it isn't the Heffernans. 269 00:14:07,029 --> 00:14:07,980 Hi, Mr. O'Boyle. 270 00:14:08,131 --> 00:14:09,798 What are you doing here? 271 00:14:09,865 --> 00:14:11,850 Well, I heard you and Palmer talking about it, 272 00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:13,852 so I figured I'd bring the boys. 273 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,354 You remember sanji, Patrick, Jr. 274 00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:18,473 A couple of lady-killers you got there, huh? 275 00:14:18,541 --> 00:14:20,158 They do all right. 276 00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:21,626 Anyway, I'm glad we bumped into you 277 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:24,529 because I wanna say thank you for recommending Doug. 278 00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,364 He won't let you down. 279 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,482 Recommended for what? 280 00:14:27,549 --> 00:14:28,650 Whoa. We're moving. The line's moving. 281 00:14:28,717 --> 00:14:29,768 Here we go. Keep it up. 282 00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:33,304 Let's go, folks. Keep it rollin'. I'll see you on Monday. 283 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,690 Arthur, come on, man. 284 00:14:34,757 --> 00:14:36,658 I don't know why you couldn't have come in here yourself. 285 00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:37,826 Because if anyone sees me walking, 286 00:14:37,893 --> 00:14:39,328 we'll be thrown out on our ears. 287 00:14:39,395 --> 00:14:43,198 Fine. Just go ahead so we can hit the log flume. 288 00:14:43,265 --> 00:14:44,833 Oh. 289 00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:49,721 Bacon is in the pan. 290 00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:50,956 How you doing, sir? 291 00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:54,942 Fine, except for the fact my legs are utterly useless. 292 00:14:55,010 --> 00:14:58,713 I heard what you said before about being a veteran. And thank you. 293 00:14:58,781 --> 00:15:02,467 Well, coming from a fellow man in uniform, that means a lot. 294 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,991 Ok, you're gonna have to carry me in there. 295 00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:11,860 What? I'm not doing that. Just wait for him to leave. 296 00:15:11,928 --> 00:15:14,179 That's not an option. 297 00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:17,216 Son... 298 00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:18,951 Look away. 299 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,273 So let's head over to the kids zone. 300 00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:28,543 Maybe we could pick up some single moms. 301 00:15:28,611 --> 00:15:30,712 Are you even listening to me? 302 00:15:30,779 --> 00:15:32,247 I'm-I'm-I'm sorry. 303 00:15:32,315 --> 00:15:34,616 I just... I can't stop thinking about her. 304 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,351 Who? The ice cream cone? 305 00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:38,136 Aw, man. You got to let that go. 306 00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:40,355 You're starting to creep me out here. 307 00:15:40,423 --> 00:15:41,539 I know this sounds crazy, 308 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:44,009 but I think she may be the one. 309 00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:47,295 You know what else she might be? A dude. 310 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,614 Oh, please. I think I know the feel of a man's touch, 311 00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,950 and this definitely wasn't it. 312 00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,236 Ok. Even if it is a girl, 313 00:15:54,303 --> 00:15:57,072 you got to figure they don't put the hot ones in a mask. 314 00:15:57,139 --> 00:15:59,741 None of that matters now. We had a connection. 315 00:15:59,808 --> 00:16:02,710 I'm not gonna let that slip through my fingers. I'm not. 316 00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:07,649 Look, I know this is gonna sound crazy, 317 00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:09,935 but from the moment I met you, 318 00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,737 I just feel like- 319 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,407 wait. You're not her. You're chocolate. 320 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,677 Where's the strawberry cone? 321 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:20,311 Where is she? 322 00:16:46,624 --> 00:16:47,624 Welcome to Goliath, 323 00:16:47,691 --> 00:16:49,926 145 seconds of white-knuckle fury. 324 00:16:49,994 --> 00:16:53,295 Please secure all cameras, sunglasses, and cell phones. 325 00:16:53,363 --> 00:16:54,497 Enjoy the ride. 326 00:16:54,564 --> 00:16:56,933 I'll secure my camera down his throat. 327 00:16:58,735 --> 00:17:00,136 Hey, you know what? 328 00:17:00,203 --> 00:17:02,138 Why don't we just go out and do something else? 329 00:17:02,205 --> 00:17:04,140 What? We've been in line for like 2 hours. 330 00:17:04,207 --> 00:17:06,208 Come on, baby. We got to conquer this fear. Ok? 331 00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:08,377 Even getting this far is a big step for me. 332 00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:11,447 Hey, let's go see how big I look in the house of mirrors. 333 00:17:11,515 --> 00:17:14,617 Hey, it's you guys again, huh? 334 00:17:14,685 --> 00:17:17,353 What were you thanking me about before? 335 00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:19,222 Oh. Um, I was thanking you 336 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:21,640 for getting Doug into that management program. 337 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,424 What? 338 00:17:22,526 --> 00:17:23,859 The line's moving again. 339 00:17:23,927 --> 00:17:25,661 Whoa. I'm sorry. She's all right. She's tough. 340 00:17:25,729 --> 00:17:27,063 Lady, keep moving. 341 00:17:27,131 --> 00:17:28,797 What is going on? 342 00:17:28,865 --> 00:17:31,467 I never signed up for the management program, ok? 343 00:17:31,535 --> 00:17:33,769 And you know why? 'Cause I like my life. 344 00:17:33,837 --> 00:17:35,020 What about your crisis? 345 00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,388 There was no crisis, ok? 346 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,825 Deacon told me what you said, so I faked the whole thing. 347 00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:42,061 You faked it? I can't believe you. 348 00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:44,464 I can't believe you that you can't be happy that I'm happy. 349 00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:46,349 And why can't you want more for yourself? 350 00:17:46,417 --> 00:17:48,117 What more could I want, Carrie? 351 00:17:48,184 --> 00:17:50,786 I have a job that I like. I'm in love with a woman that I'm married to. 352 00:17:50,854 --> 00:17:52,287 Oh, shut up. 353 00:17:52,355 --> 00:17:54,707 I can't believe I got this stupid snake on my arm. 354 00:17:54,775 --> 00:17:56,975 Excuse me. There's a gap. 355 00:17:57,043 --> 00:18:00,229 Yeah. Excuse me. Who's gonna fill the gap in my life, ok? 356 00:18:00,297 --> 00:18:03,149 Step forward, please. 357 00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:06,386 All right, let's just ride this stupid thing and get home. 358 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,456 What? Let's go. 359 00:18:11,775 --> 00:18:12,958 I can't. 360 00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:15,060 Oh, you can't. Another fake crisis? 361 00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:18,464 No, it's not a fake cris-I... I can't do it. 362 00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:22,034 Ok, Doug, you listen to me and listen to me good. 363 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,003 I've given up my dreams of a better life 364 00:18:24,071 --> 00:18:28,341 because it turns out your only dream was to ride this stupid roller coaster. 365 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,576 So you're gonna get your butt in that car 366 00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,744 because I am coming out of here with something. 367 00:18:44,074 --> 00:18:46,425 Let's go. What are you doing? 368 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:49,661 You're doing this alone, babe. Good luck. 369 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:04,343 Hello. 370 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,911 Honey, in case I don't make it, 371 00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,413 I just want you to know I hate you. 372 00:19:08,382 --> 00:19:12,051 Aah! 373 00:19:20,561 --> 00:19:22,829 Wait. Stop. They're selling fudge over there. 374 00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,831 Arthur, you've already had like a pound of it. 375 00:19:24,898 --> 00:19:26,899 I wasn't supposed to give you chocolate in the first place. 376 00:19:26,967 --> 00:19:30,336 Unless you wanna wait 45 minutes to ride the bumper boats, 377 00:19:30,404 --> 00:19:32,338 I suggest you give me what I want. 378 00:19:32,406 --> 00:19:35,074 No, Arthur. I've already spent $100 on you. 379 00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:37,626 Cost of keeping a disabled war veteran happy, $100. 380 00:19:37,694 --> 00:19:40,446 Getting your son to the front of every line, priceless. 381 00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:41,998 Now, fudge me up! 382 00:19:42,066 --> 00:19:44,567 You know what? 383 00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:46,702 I'm through driving miss Daisy. 384 00:19:46,770 --> 00:19:48,387 Oh, really? 385 00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:52,191 Perhaps I should show that park employee over there... 386 00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:54,059 A miracle? 387 00:19:54,127 --> 00:19:55,928 Ohh. 388 00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:58,130 I'm calling your bluff, old man. 389 00:19:58,198 --> 00:19:59,281 I'll do it. 390 00:19:59,349 --> 00:20:00,883 You got a good thing going here. 391 00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:03,819 Me wheeling you around, everyone fawning all over you. 392 00:20:03,887 --> 00:20:06,855 You're gonna blow all that for a lousy piece of fudge? 393 00:20:09,977 --> 00:20:11,710 Shame on you! 394 00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,399 So should we hit wet and wild? 395 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,735 Give me that sombrero. 396 00:20:22,756 --> 00:20:24,690 So the thing is... 397 00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:26,726 I'm working in the subway now, 398 00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:29,462 but I'd really like to be a writer. 399 00:20:29,529 --> 00:20:31,997 I think I have a novel in me. 400 00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:33,733 I... God. 401 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,269 I'm sorry. I'm just rambling. 402 00:20:40,474 --> 00:20:42,174 God, you're beautiful. 403 00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:48,113 Would it be ok if... if I kissed you? 404 00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:55,388 No, don't. 405 00:21:05,648 --> 00:21:08,433 So, uh, what time do you get off? 406 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:10,552 I was thinking maybe we can go hit the beer garden 407 00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:12,688 over there in fantasy forest. 408 00:21:13,890 --> 00:21:15,958 That sounds great. 29854

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