Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:38,571 --> 00:00:40,806
Okay. You didn't
pause the movie.
2
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,040
You didn't ask me to.
3
00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:44,142
I shouldn't have to ask.
4
00:00:44,143 --> 00:00:46,327
If someone leaves the
room, you press pause.
5
00:00:46,328 --> 00:00:48,430
I mean, we're not animals.
6
00:00:48,431 --> 00:00:50,766
You only missed a minute.
7
00:00:50,767 --> 00:00:52,300
Wait a second, they're
in Egypt now.
8
00:00:52,301 --> 00:00:53,969
How the hell did they
get out of Jersey?
9
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,738
All right, fine. I
will rewind it.
10
00:00:57,073 --> 00:00:59,674
Great. I-I just saw Nigel
get killed in reverse.
11
00:00:59,675 --> 00:01:01,110
Well, what do you want me to do?
12
00:01:01,111 --> 00:01:03,295
You stop and then rewind.
13
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:04,629
Then I'm gonna go too far.
14
00:01:04,630 --> 00:01:05,914
That's a small price to pay.
15
00:01:05,915 --> 00:01:07,932
O- o-okay. You know what?
New rule.
16
00:01:07,933 --> 00:01:11,470
Someone leaves the
room, you press pause.
17
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:12,838
Yeah. All right.
18
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:16,141
Hello.
19
00:01:16,142 --> 00:01:18,043
Oh, hey, Lisa.
20
00:01:18,044 --> 00:01:19,745
Yeah, I have it in
my address book.
21
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,747
Hang on one second.
22
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,115
Yeah. Mm.
23
00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:24,149
Yeah.
24
00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:26,252
What?
25
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,719
The wedding's off?
26
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:28,787
Oh, my god.
27
00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:30,389
Tell me everything.
28
00:01:39,048 --> 00:01:40,482
Okay, new rule.
29
00:01:48,474 --> 00:01:51,276
Doug. Doug, I am
trying to talk to you.
30
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:52,644
What do you need?
31
00:01:52,645 --> 00:01:54,813
I- I-I just need more
hot sauce for my wings.
32
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:56,431
You have plenty right there.
33
00:01:56,432 --> 00:01:57,749
Are you kidding me?
Look at my hands.
34
00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,150
They're almost clean. Sh-
35
00:01:59,151 --> 00:02:01,186
Should look like I
just delivered a baby.
36
00:02:02,855 --> 00:02:05,941
Anyway, as you may
or may not know,
37
00:02:05,942 --> 00:02:07,676
it's almost Valentine's Day-
38
00:02:07,677 --> 00:02:09,010
Yeah- Excuse me, could I get-
39
00:02:09,011 --> 00:02:11,112
Okay, that was
intentional right there.
40
00:02:11,113 --> 00:02:12,447
Look.
41
00:02:12,448 --> 00:02:14,600
Please try and focus.
42
00:02:14,601 --> 00:02:16,651
Now, Valentine's
Day is coming up,
43
00:02:16,652 --> 00:02:18,303
and we've been kind
of slacking off,
44
00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:20,205
and I thought we could
do something special.
45
00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:22,708
Do you any id- Okey-dokey.
46
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:25,310
You finished with this?
Thank you.
47
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:26,979
Okay. There. Great, thank you.
48
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,914
Now I can focus, all right.
I'm all yours, baby.
49
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:30,348
Lay it on me. Okay, good.
50
00:02:30,349 --> 00:02:31,800
So, Valentine's Day...
51
00:02:31,801 --> 00:02:34,386
Hold that thought. I just gotta
get a refill here. Oh, my God.
52
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:35,687
Oh, jeez.
53
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:37,056
Danny's here.
54
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,507
So? Ah.
55
00:02:38,508 --> 00:02:40,509
Some girl dumped him,
and he's all depressed.
56
00:02:40,510 --> 00:02:42,210
Depressed and annoying.
57
00:02:42,211 --> 00:02:44,812
That's a rough combo.
58
00:02:44,813 --> 00:02:45,798
Hey, guys.
59
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:46,932
Hi, Danny.
60
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:48,067
What you up to?
61
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:49,101
Ah, you know,
62
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,636
just grabbing a
cold one by myself.
63
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,806
Don't need any lady
dragging me down.
64
00:02:55,541 --> 00:02:58,861
All alone, just the
way I like it.
65
00:02:58,862 --> 00:03:00,629
Love my alone time.
In fact, if you want-
66
00:03:00,630 --> 00:03:01,730
you know what - take her.
67
00:03:02,899 --> 00:03:04,833
Get her out of here.
68
00:03:04,834 --> 00:03:06,685
I'm kidding. I'll see
you tomorrow, man.
69
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,570
Join us. Come on, join us.
70
00:03:08,571 --> 00:03:09,538
Oh, yeah, okay, thanks.
71
00:03:09,539 --> 00:03:11,123
You wanna order
something to eat?
72
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,423
Uh, nah.
73
00:03:12,424 --> 00:03:14,793
Just gonna drink till
they call me a cab.
74
00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:17,829
It's been working pretty well.
75
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:19,030
So Doug tells me
you and the girl
76
00:03:19,031 --> 00:03:20,432
you were dating broke up?
77
00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:23,552
God, I really thought Porsche
was the one, you know?
78
00:03:23,553 --> 00:03:25,320
Then I found out
she was stripping.
79
00:03:25,321 --> 00:03:26,188
Really?
80
00:03:26,189 --> 00:03:27,673
Yeah. And not even in a club.
81
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,508
Just in general.
82
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:32,076
I don't know what
I'm doing wrong.
83
00:03:32,077 --> 00:03:33,244
I mean...
84
00:03:33,245 --> 00:03:35,747
what was it about Doug
that attracted you?
85
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:38,700
Actually, Danny, very
common question. Um...
86
00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:40,335
Oh, please.
87
00:03:40,336 --> 00:03:42,470
You wanted me from the
moment you saw me
88
00:03:42,471 --> 00:03:44,873
in my mesh shirt
and white jeans.
89
00:03:46,508 --> 00:03:48,126
Yeah. You're thinking
about it right now.
90
00:03:48,127 --> 00:03:49,561
You're welcome, baby.
91
00:03:51,430 --> 00:03:52,797
Actually, that mesh shirt
92
00:03:52,798 --> 00:03:54,666
made you look like
a bag of onions.
93
00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:00,873
Sweet onions.
94
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:04,509
That you loved to peel.
95
00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:06,278
And they wouldn't
make you cry...
96
00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:08,413
because they, uh...
97
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,015
I'm done.
98
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:13,251
Actually, Danny, what
attracted me to Doug
99
00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:14,887
was that he was, um...
100
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,955
He was a nice guy, and
he made me laugh.
101
00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:19,925
And, um... he surprised me.
102
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,075
Really? How?
103
00:04:21,076 --> 00:04:23,061
Well, um, one night,
104
00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:24,796
when we were first dating - Oh.
105
00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:26,331
What? It's adora-
106
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:28,800
We were dating, and I wasn't
totally sold on him yet.
107
00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:31,003
And we're just out walking,
and he gets real silent.
108
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,005
And I turn to him and I
go, "What's the matter?"
109
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,306
And he says, um...
110
00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:35,540
No, you tell him.
111
00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:36,541
It's nothing!
112
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:38,110
Tell him. Tell him. All right.
113
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:41,346
I just said, "You didn't just
save my life, brown eyes...
114
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:44,016
you made my life worth saving. "
115
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:46,368
Isn't that beautiful?
116
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:48,570
Truck driver, poet.
Somebody signed up
117
00:04:48,571 --> 00:04:50,339
for the premium package.
118
00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:52,374
Yes, I did.
119
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,375
And you know what?
120
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,809
That line just showed me
121
00:04:54,810 --> 00:04:56,178
that Doug wasn't just this big,
122
00:04:56,179 --> 00:04:59,348
goofy jock, you know?
123
00:04:59,349 --> 00:05:01,349
You see that right there?
Th-that's what I want.
124
00:05:01,350 --> 00:05:04,219
Ah, you know, why can't
I find a great girl?
125
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,604
I could tell you
the truth, but...
126
00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:06,972
it'd feel like a donkey kick.
127
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,674
You know what it is, Danny?
128
00:05:09,675 --> 00:05:12,311
Every girl you meet, you- You
say that she's it, you know?
129
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,544
I know, I know.
130
00:05:13,545 --> 00:05:15,514
And relationships aren't
like that, you know?
131
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:18,082
I mean, sex is important, but
you gotta be friends first.
132
00:05:18,083 --> 00:05:20,752
You gotta connect
on emotional level.
133
00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:22,454
Really? Yeah. Right, honey?
134
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:24,873
You know what I need? Some blue cheese.
That's all.
135
00:05:26,942 --> 00:05:28,994
Ah. Buddy, can I
get another one?
136
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,101
Just leave the bottle.
137
00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:43,876
Oh. Hey, Danny.
138
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,677
Holly. What are you doing here?
139
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,279
Oh, my apartment's
being fumigated,
140
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,647
so I have to be out
for the night.
141
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:50,249
And I just broke up
with my boyfriend,
142
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:52,918
so there goes
crashing in his van.
143
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:55,553
And after I just carpeted it.
Ugh!
144
00:05:56,722 --> 00:05:59,191
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
145
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,859
I just broke up with
my girlfriend too.
146
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,295
Well- I thought she
broke up with you.
147
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,663
What is it, in the papers?
148
00:06:05,664 --> 00:06:06,998
Oh, don't worry about it.
149
00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:09,000
I mean, relationships
suck, right, Danny?
150
00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:10,836
Ugh. Tell me about it.
151
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,304
I mean, I'll tell you one guy
152
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,039
that'll never let
you down though.
153
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,107
Mr. Samuel Adams. Mm-hm.
154
00:06:16,108 --> 00:06:17,876
You know who else is
always there for you?
155
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,311
Mr. Jack Daniels!
156
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:20,812
Let's go, barkeep.
157
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,954
All right, this will
just take two seconds,
158
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,622
and we'll get right
back to the office.
159
00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:31,823
Oh, no rush.
160
00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:34,126
Wednesday afternoons my
boss has his affair.
161
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,560
Thanks a lot.
162
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:37,228
Hi, can I help you? Yes, hi.
163
00:06:37,229 --> 00:06:39,531
I bought a beer mug
here last week,
164
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:42,000
and I want to have
something engraved on it.
165
00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:43,684
No problem. Let me just get my pad.
Okay.
166
00:06:43,685 --> 00:06:45,169
What are you putting on it?
167
00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:47,105
Oh, just something
Doug said to me
168
00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:48,306
when we were first dating.
169
00:06:48,307 --> 00:06:50,876
And, uh, I was just thinking
about it yesterday.
170
00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:53,060
What did he say? Oh, well,
171
00:06:53,061 --> 00:06:55,113
we were just out walking and
out of the blue he said, um,
172
00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:57,249
"You didn't just save
my life, brown eyes,
173
00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,752
you made my life worth saving. "
174
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,020
Ohh. Ohh.
175
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,089
That is so sweet.
176
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,074
Isn't it? I know. I just
wanted to find a cute way
177
00:07:06,075 --> 00:07:07,959
to tell him that I
feel the same way.
178
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,928
And with the amount of
beer he drinks, um...
179
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,296
he'll see it a lot.
180
00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:12,564
Okay. Yeah.
181
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,749
Okay. What would you like on it?
182
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:16,568
Okay. Uh, right
across the front,
183
00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:17,802
I would like it to say,
184
00:07:17,803 --> 00:07:20,572
"You didn't just save
my life, brown eyes,
185
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:23,875
you made my life worth saving. "
186
00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:27,478
That's excellent.
187
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:31,216
What-? What's so funny?
188
00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:33,084
No, it's just- I
love that movie.
189
00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:34,769
What movie?
190
00:07:34,770 --> 00:07:36,421
McCormick and JoJo?
191
00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:38,673
You're saying that line
came from a movie?
192
00:07:38,674 --> 00:07:40,475
Yeah. Erik Estrada plays a cop,
193
00:07:40,476 --> 00:07:43,028
and he says it at the end
to his partner, JoJo.
194
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,262
The monkey?
195
00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:47,966
He says it to a monkey?
196
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:48,833
Yeah.
197
00:07:48,834 --> 00:07:50,585
We'll see you back
at the office.
198
00:07:50,586 --> 00:07:52,153
Okay. Yeah, yeah,
I'll see you there.
199
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,880
Danny, did you hide my
lactose pills again?
200
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:07,385
You know, I'm glad you think
my condition is so funny.
201
00:08:10,088 --> 00:08:11,723
Oh. Hey, Spence.
202
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:13,324
Holly?
203
00:08:13,325 --> 00:08:15,543
Hey. Good morning, buddy.
204
00:08:15,544 --> 00:08:16,944
Okay...
205
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,198
Oh, hey, I just wanna say
thanks again for last night.
206
00:08:21,199 --> 00:08:23,484
Oh, hey. Thank you so
much for everything.
207
00:08:24,256 --> 00:08:25,206
See you guys later.
208
00:08:26,922 --> 00:08:28,306
Hey, nice P.J.s there, buddy.
209
00:08:28,307 --> 00:08:29,740
I like the Western theme.
210
00:08:29,741 --> 00:08:31,942
What do you got, a little
bucking bronco there? Ooh!
211
00:08:33,011 --> 00:08:34,078
I kid 'cause I'm in love.
212
00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:38,249
Did Holly spend the night?
213
00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:39,968
No, no, no. She just
came here this morning
214
00:08:39,969 --> 00:08:40,969
to put on her shoes.
215
00:08:40,970 --> 00:08:42,737
Yeah, she spent the night.
216
00:08:44,373 --> 00:08:45,473
Why?
217
00:08:45,474 --> 00:08:47,242
Well, her apartment's
being fumigated.
218
00:08:47,243 --> 00:08:48,893
I told her she could
crash on my couch.
219
00:08:48,894 --> 00:08:50,595
And then she- She
makes up some story
220
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:52,297
about it having a busted spring
221
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:54,098
that made her feel
uncomfortable.
222
00:08:54,099 --> 00:08:55,967
There is a busted spring.
223
00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:58,302
Anyway, point is
that, uh, you know,
224
00:08:58,303 --> 00:08:59,737
I was gentlemanly enough
225
00:08:59,738 --> 00:09:02,473
to, uh, give her
refuge in my bedroom.
226
00:09:02,474 --> 00:09:03,674
Oh, my God.
227
00:09:03,675 --> 00:09:05,943
So you guys actually
slept together?
228
00:09:05,944 --> 00:09:07,728
Yup. Emphasis...
229
00:09:07,729 --> 00:09:09,497
on slept.
230
00:09:10,649 --> 00:09:12,784
I- Wait- So wait a minute.
So you guys didn't-
231
00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:14,819
No. No, we did not.
232
00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:18,255
We didn't touch all night.
233
00:09:18,256 --> 00:09:20,424
What are you bragging about?
234
00:09:20,425 --> 00:09:23,761
See, relationships
aren't just about sex.
235
00:09:23,762 --> 00:09:25,263
You gotta be friends
with someone.
236
00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:27,732
You gotta connect
emotionally, you know.
237
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,800
And the fact that she
did not sleep with me
238
00:09:29,801 --> 00:09:31,635
proves she's into
me as a person.
239
00:09:40,763 --> 00:09:42,764
Hey. I was thinking
about what you said.
240
00:09:42,765 --> 00:09:44,265
You wanted to do
something special
241
00:09:44,266 --> 00:09:45,532
for Valentine's Day.
242
00:09:45,533 --> 00:09:48,636
Well, what says I love you
243
00:09:48,637 --> 00:09:52,573
more than seeing a Van
Halen cover band...
244
00:09:52,574 --> 00:09:54,708
followed by...
245
00:09:54,709 --> 00:09:56,377
a candlelit dinner
246
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:58,712
at the restaurant
of your choosing?
247
00:09:58,713 --> 00:10:00,915
As long as they serve chili.
248
00:10:02,751 --> 00:10:05,019
Okay. We'll see.
249
00:10:06,088 --> 00:10:07,421
What's all this?
250
00:10:07,422 --> 00:10:10,992
Oh, I just got us some takeout
from Shanghai Gardens,
251
00:10:10,993 --> 00:10:12,893
and I rented us a
movie to watch.
252
00:10:12,894 --> 00:10:14,362
Oh.
253
00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:15,830
Cool! Yeah.
254
00:10:15,831 --> 00:10:17,097
What'd y-? What'd you get?
255
00:10:17,098 --> 00:10:18,866
Oh, just a little
movie from the '80s
256
00:10:18,867 --> 00:10:20,635
that caught my fancy.
257
00:10:22,504 --> 00:10:24,439
McCormick and JoJo.
258
00:10:27,175 --> 00:10:29,844
Hang on, JoJo. Hang on!
259
00:10:34,166 --> 00:10:36,050
McCormick, get the
hell outta there!
260
00:10:36,051 --> 00:10:37,585
JoJo's here. No way-
261
00:10:37,586 --> 00:10:39,487
This doesn't look
like the beginning.
262
00:10:39,488 --> 00:10:40,722
No, Doug, it's
more like the end.
263
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:43,190
Don't you die on me.
264
00:10:43,191 --> 00:10:44,925
Don't you leave me!
265
00:10:44,926 --> 00:10:46,827
Let me tell you something.
266
00:10:46,828 --> 00:10:49,429
You didn't just save
my life, brown eyes,
267
00:10:49,430 --> 00:10:51,365
you made my life worth saving.
268
00:11:08,717 --> 00:11:11,118
Case you were wondering,
JoJo makes it.
269
00:11:11,119 --> 00:11:13,487
I can't believe you!
270
00:11:13,488 --> 00:11:15,256
Take it easy, Carrie.
271
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:16,857
Doug, do you know how
humiliated I was?
272
00:11:16,858 --> 00:11:17,958
I mean, there I was
273
00:11:17,959 --> 00:11:19,893
bragging about how
romantic my husband is,
274
00:11:19,894 --> 00:11:22,096
about how beautiful
this line was.
275
00:11:22,097 --> 00:11:23,364
And a clerk in the
store tells me
276
00:11:23,365 --> 00:11:25,400
it was originally
said to a monkey!
277
00:11:25,401 --> 00:11:27,468
A monkey that knows karate.
278
00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:28,453
Oh, my God.
279
00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:30,721
And when I think about all
the times I told this story.
280
00:11:30,722 --> 00:11:32,089
People must think I'm an idiot.
281
00:11:32,090 --> 00:11:34,525
Carrie, hardly anyone
saw McCormick and JoJo.
282
00:11:34,526 --> 00:11:36,661
It came out the same
time as Turner and Hooch
283
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:39,764
and just got steamrolled.
284
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:41,148
Let me ask you a question, Doug.
285
00:11:41,149 --> 00:11:42,483
When you call me brown eyes,
286
00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:45,553
are you thinking about
me or the monkey?
287
00:11:45,554 --> 00:11:47,921
Almost always you. Okay, that's-
288
00:11:47,922 --> 00:11:49,473
I'm kidding! Come on-
289
00:11:49,474 --> 00:11:51,142
This happened 10 years ago.
290
00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:53,077
I've done tons worse
stuff since then.
291
00:11:53,078 --> 00:11:54,578
Doug, you don't understand.
292
00:11:54,579 --> 00:11:56,330
Okay, when you said
that line to me,
293
00:11:56,331 --> 00:11:58,132
it was at a time when I
wasn't sure about us.
294
00:11:58,133 --> 00:12:00,201
I didn't know if I wanted
to get serious with you.
295
00:12:00,202 --> 00:12:01,468
And do you know
296
00:12:01,469 --> 00:12:03,403
that there was a guy that
was interested in me
297
00:12:03,404 --> 00:12:04,805
who was a med
student at Columbia
298
00:12:04,806 --> 00:12:06,273
and on the rowing team.
299
00:12:06,274 --> 00:12:09,744
Today he's an orthopedic
surgeon in the city.
300
00:12:09,745 --> 00:12:12,113
But I chose you.
301
00:12:13,365 --> 00:12:15,049
That's gotta sting.
302
00:12:18,353 --> 00:12:21,255
The point is, Doug,
I really liked you,
303
00:12:21,256 --> 00:12:24,091
but that line put
it over the top.
304
00:12:24,092 --> 00:12:25,726
I mean, when you
could reach down
305
00:12:25,727 --> 00:12:28,695
a- and come up with something
so heartfelt and beautiful.
306
00:12:28,696 --> 00:12:32,032
I mean, that really told
me something about you.
307
00:12:32,033 --> 00:12:34,135
But it turns out
it was just a lie.
308
00:12:34,136 --> 00:12:35,987
I- I stole the line,
oh- But you know what?
309
00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:37,221
Let me tell you something.
310
00:12:37,222 --> 00:12:38,990
I've said so many other
beautiful things
311
00:12:38,991 --> 00:12:41,258
that were all me. Really?
Like what?
312
00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:43,761
I- Just last week
313
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:45,796
at Deacon and Kelly's.
314
00:12:45,797 --> 00:12:47,481
Are you talking
about when you said
315
00:12:47,482 --> 00:12:49,883
I would make a good-looking guy?
316
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:52,987
Yeah.
317
00:12:52,988 --> 00:12:54,188
You throw on a denim jacket
318
00:12:54,189 --> 00:12:55,856
and you cut your hair short,
319
00:12:55,857 --> 00:12:58,125
you got a nice Ralph
Macchio thing going.
320
00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:01,295
And you think that's beautiful.
321
00:13:01,296 --> 00:13:03,597
It's pretty solid.
322
00:13:03,598 --> 00:13:05,816
Look, Carrie, we've been
married for 10 years,
323
00:13:05,817 --> 00:13:07,135
and it's working.
324
00:13:07,136 --> 00:13:08,936
You know, so I stole
a line from a movie.
325
00:13:08,937 --> 00:13:10,505
Who cares?
326
00:13:10,506 --> 00:13:12,273
Who cares? That's
the way you feel?
327
00:13:12,274 --> 00:13:13,307
I- I mean that in a good way.
328
00:13:13,308 --> 00:13:14,675
I mean, look, when we first met,
329
00:13:14,676 --> 00:13:16,177
we had to be at our best.
330
00:13:16,178 --> 00:13:20,181
But now it's like I'm fat,
you're mean, who cares?
331
00:13:25,470 --> 00:13:27,138
I care.
332
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:29,339
Oh, okay, I understand
what this is about now.
333
00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:31,108
All right, all right,
I'm getting it now.
334
00:13:31,109 --> 00:13:32,877
You're just- You're
gonna bust my chops
335
00:13:32,878 --> 00:13:34,445
till I come up
with another line.
336
00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:36,180
No, Doug, I don't want
another line, okay?
337
00:13:36,181 --> 00:13:38,332
Oh, well, too bad, 'cause
you're getting one.
338
00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:41,486
Well, you better get moving.
Blockbuster closes at 10.
339
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,871
I don't need Blockbuster.
This is gonna be all me.
340
00:13:43,872 --> 00:13:45,706
It's gonna be so
touching and heartfelt,
341
00:13:45,707 --> 00:13:47,375
you're gonna feel
like a piece of crap.
342
00:13:48,443 --> 00:13:50,611
A piece of crap!
343
00:14:00,522 --> 00:14:02,506
Hey, guy.
344
00:14:02,507 --> 00:14:03,841
Hm.
345
00:14:07,412 --> 00:14:09,379
Uh, well, this is awkward,
346
00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:11,798
'cause I didn't
get you anything.
347
00:14:11,799 --> 00:14:13,951
Funny. It's for Holly.
348
00:14:13,952 --> 00:14:16,070
You got her a
Valentine's Day gift?
349
00:14:16,071 --> 00:14:17,738
Does she even know?
350
00:14:17,739 --> 00:14:18,506
I have a call in to her.
351
00:14:18,507 --> 00:14:20,457
But she hasn't called you back.
352
00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:23,527
All part of the dance.
353
00:14:23,528 --> 00:14:26,263
Is this a two-person dance or...
354
00:14:26,264 --> 00:14:28,633
Okay, look, y-y-you wanna
see me talk to her?
355
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,001
'Cause I'll call her right now.
356
00:14:35,991 --> 00:14:39,860
Ah, phone machine. She's
probably screening.
357
00:14:39,861 --> 00:14:41,945
Oh, hey, Hol, it's, uh- It's me.
Are you there?
358
00:14:41,946 --> 00:14:43,481
Pick up.
359
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:45,149
If you're there, pick up, Holly.
360
00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:46,483
It's me.
361
00:14:46,484 --> 00:14:48,552
Pick up. Pick up, pick
up, pick up, pick up-
362
00:14:50,689 --> 00:14:53,540
Uh, I got about 70 dead
cockroaches under the bed,
363
00:14:53,541 --> 00:14:55,476
and I think you might
have some rat droppings
364
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:56,944
behind the radiator.
365
00:14:56,945 --> 00:14:58,829
Hey.
366
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,831
Are your eyes blue?
367
00:15:02,851 --> 00:15:05,119
If you want 'em to be.
368
00:15:07,972 --> 00:15:08,973
So...
369
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:11,075
uh, tag, you're it.
370
00:15:14,379 --> 00:15:17,632
She's probably out getting
my Valentine's Day gift.
371
00:15:17,633 --> 00:15:21,284
Yeah. That's probably what
she's doing right now.
372
00:15:21,285 --> 00:15:22,853
God.
373
00:15:22,854 --> 00:15:24,872
Oh. Okay.
374
00:15:26,107 --> 00:15:28,643
I think I know what's
going on here.
375
00:15:28,644 --> 00:15:30,894
You're down about my
relationship with Holly
376
00:15:30,895 --> 00:15:32,747
because you don't have
anyone right now.
377
00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:33,764
Danny, I- Oh.
378
00:15:33,765 --> 00:15:35,233
And here I am, walking around,
379
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:38,469
bragging and showing off the
fantastic bear I got her.
380
00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:40,371
Okay, you're
completely delusional.
381
00:15:40,372 --> 00:15:44,675
Oh. You are in so much
pain, buddy, aren't you?
382
00:15:44,676 --> 00:15:47,278
Don't worry. It'll
happen for you.
383
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,412
One of these days,
384
00:15:48,413 --> 00:15:50,981
you'll have exactly what I have.
385
00:16:00,508 --> 00:16:01,908
Okay, how about this?
386
00:16:01,909 --> 00:16:03,410
"Carrie...
387
00:16:03,411 --> 00:16:06,030
"my love for you...
388
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:07,431
"is...
389
00:16:07,432 --> 00:16:08,732
good. "
390
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:12,753
All right, come on, concentrate.
391
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:14,555
If my love...
392
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:17,625
for you was a season...
393
00:16:17,626 --> 00:16:19,793
it would be fall...
394
00:16:19,794 --> 00:16:22,229
'cause I fell f-for you.
395
00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:27,467
I- it would be autumn,
'cause my love is...
396
00:16:27,468 --> 00:16:28,903
automatic.
397
00:16:30,505 --> 00:16:33,457
Oh, my God, you sound like
a gay serial killer, man.
398
00:16:33,458 --> 00:16:34,658
Let me help you out.
399
00:16:34,659 --> 00:16:36,526
I'm a wordsmith.
400
00:16:36,527 --> 00:16:38,879
No help, okay? That's how I got
in trouble the first time.
401
00:16:40,048 --> 00:16:42,383
My God, I got nothing here.
402
00:16:42,384 --> 00:16:44,452
Look at this, I-I got rhymes.
That's all I got.
403
00:16:44,453 --> 00:16:46,487
"Love, dove.
404
00:16:46,488 --> 00:16:48,622
"Hitler, Bette Midler. "
405
00:16:48,623 --> 00:16:50,524
What the hell am I doing?
406
00:16:50,525 --> 00:16:52,493
Hey, Doug, do you get
any reception in here?
407
00:16:52,494 --> 00:16:54,895
Oh, man, your phone's fine.
Holly's not gonna call.
408
00:16:54,896 --> 00:16:56,029
Yes, she is.
409
00:16:56,030 --> 00:16:58,281
I'm your valentine.
410
00:16:58,282 --> 00:17:01,418
Just give me the bear, and
let's end the charade.
411
00:17:01,419 --> 00:17:03,771
Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
How about this?
412
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:05,839
"You're not just who I love,
413
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:07,875
you're who I am. "
414
00:17:08,994 --> 00:17:10,995
That's actually pretty good.
415
00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:13,431
And you came up with
that all by yourself?
416
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:14,832
Yeah, I did. I mean,
417
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:16,684
"You're not just who I
love, you're who I am. "
418
00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:18,902
That- That's it. That's my line.
419
00:17:18,903 --> 00:17:20,638
It's Holly. Anyone home?
420
00:17:22,073 --> 00:17:23,207
Well, well, well.
421
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,975
Look who finally
tracked me down.
422
00:17:24,976 --> 00:17:27,277
Guess you can kiss
the bear goodbye.
423
00:17:28,446 --> 00:17:29,897
Hey, Hol. Oh, hey, Carrie.
424
00:17:29,898 --> 00:17:32,249
I just stopped by to drop
off a Valentine's Day card
425
00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:34,702
and my bill for your dad.
Oh, okay. Thanks.
426
00:17:34,703 --> 00:17:35,969
Hey, we better get moving.
427
00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:37,738
I wanna wash this
pesticide out of my hair
428
00:17:37,739 --> 00:17:38,839
before we hit Bennigan's.
429
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:43,460
Oh, hey, Carrie. This is Rick.
He's my exterminator.
430
00:17:43,461 --> 00:17:44,728
How nice.
431
00:17:44,729 --> 00:17:46,664
So you happy with
your current bug guy?
432
00:17:46,665 --> 00:17:48,966
He's fantastic.
433
00:17:48,967 --> 00:17:50,234
I'll keep him in mind.
Thank you.
434
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:51,635
Hey, Hol. Hey, Danny.
435
00:17:51,636 --> 00:17:53,904
Aw. Cute bear. Bye.
436
00:17:53,905 --> 00:17:54,955
Bye.
437
00:17:54,956 --> 00:17:56,290
Ho- Holly!
438
00:17:56,291 --> 00:17:57,925
Carrie, I got something
to tell you.
439
00:17:57,926 --> 00:18:00,111
You're not just who I
love, you're who I am.
440
00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:01,645
Holly!
441
00:18:01,646 --> 00:18:04,415
Hey! You stole my line!
442
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,533
Danny just stole my line! What?
443
00:18:06,534 --> 00:18:08,469
You're not just who I
love, you're who I am.
444
00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:09,870
That's my line.
445
00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:11,956
Doug, I told you, I don't
want another line.
446
00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:14,124
You're just saying that
'cause Danny just said it.
447
00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:16,694
'Cause if I would've said it,
it would have looked like this:
448
00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:19,563
I'm telling- You'd be cooking
me eggs in lingerie.
449
00:18:19,564 --> 00:18:21,915
Okay. Whatever you say.
450
00:18:21,916 --> 00:18:23,701
Okay, you know what?
That- That's it.
451
00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:25,503
Forget it. I-I-I've had it.
I can't-
452
00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:26,937
I can't do this.
453
00:18:29,674 --> 00:18:31,975
There's like 50 pages here.
454
00:18:31,976 --> 00:18:33,343
Yeah, I know.
455
00:18:33,344 --> 00:18:35,812
Is that the Arby's logo?
456
00:18:35,813 --> 00:18:38,231
Part of my process.
457
00:18:38,232 --> 00:18:40,550
"Hitler, Bette Midler"?
458
00:18:40,551 --> 00:18:42,219
I don't know what I was
doing there, okay.
459
00:18:42,220 --> 00:18:44,521
All I know is I got all these
feelings inside in a safe,
460
00:18:44,522 --> 00:18:45,989
and I'm trying to
get the combo out
461
00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:47,191
before the thing goes off.
462
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:49,093
And I'm, like,
duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-
463
00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:50,927
Get it out! 'Cause the
love wants to flow.
464
00:18:50,928 --> 00:18:51,929
Doug. The love-
465
00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:52,946
Doug.
466
00:18:52,947 --> 00:18:54,748
Honey. - paper.
467
00:18:54,749 --> 00:18:56,534
I think I got what I needed.
468
00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:59,887
But, uh, I didn't come up
with a great line. I didn't-
469
00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:01,588
Because I didn't
want another line.
470
00:19:01,589 --> 00:19:03,724
I just wanted you to do
something from your heart,
471
00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:05,159
and you did.
472
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,728
I mean, the fact that you were
willing to work this hard-
473
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:11,131
I mean... this means
something to me.
474
00:19:11,132 --> 00:19:12,249
Yeah, but I just-
475
00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:14,184
I just wanted to come
up with a great line.
476
00:19:14,185 --> 00:19:17,187
Honey. And I bet you there is
gonna be something in here
477
00:19:17,188 --> 00:19:19,656
that knocks me
right off my feet.
478
00:19:19,657 --> 00:19:21,024
Really? Yeah.
479
00:19:30,902 --> 00:19:33,203
You know, uh, that there...
Yeah, no. No.
480
00:19:37,742 --> 00:19:38,675
Yeah.
481
00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:41,979
Mm.
482
00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:42,913
No? No.
483
00:19:44,015 --> 00:19:45,015
See, now I thought-
484
00:19:45,016 --> 00:19:46,016
Yeah. Don't love it.
485
00:19:46,017 --> 00:19:47,217
I don't love it.
486
00:19:53,758 --> 00:19:55,359
Anything? You know what?
487
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,944
I'm just gonna go
with the Arby's logo.
488
00:20:24,022 --> 00:20:25,472
All right!
489
00:20:30,544 --> 00:20:33,714
Here. Don't tell
anybody about this.
490
00:20:33,715 --> 00:20:35,082
Happy Valentine's Day.
491
00:20:35,083 --> 00:20:36,583
Shut up.
34323
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
